David S. Atkinson's Blog, page 166

I’ve Improved The New Nebraska License Plate

People apparently hate the new Nebraska license plate:

Personally, I’m not fond of it, though I do think it goes well with the new state slogan “Nebraska: it’s mainly empty space.” Anyway, though I don’t have much graphic design skill, I thought I’d take a crack at improving the new design:

I think it’s better. Let me know what you think.

Only A Few More Hours To Enter The Goodreads Giveaway For “Not Quite so Stories!”

There are only a few more hours to enter the Goodreads giveaway for Not Quite so Stories! It all closes at midnight (Mountain time). Enter now or face possibly having to buy a copy (if I’m lucky).

Goodreads Book Giveaway


Not Quite so Stories
by David S. Atkinson

Giveaway ends March 24, 2016.

See the giveaway details

at Goodreads.

Enter Giveaway

https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/widget/175253

Of course, this will be too late for anyone visiting this post more than six hours past when it goes live. Sorry to all those people, but buying a copy will still be available. That option won’t be ending anytime soon.

Issuing A Correction For The Denver Post

Management would like to take the liberty of issuing a correction for The Denver Post. The Denver Post was kind enough to mention in the Sunday paper that David S. Atkinson will be doing a reading at the BookBar this Friday March 25 at 7pm to celebrate the release of Not Quite so Stories. However, there was a bit of an issue:

Of course, David is the author of Not Quite so Stories, not Just so Stories. The author of Just so Stories is, in fact, Rudyard Kipling. Actually, Not Quite so Stories is somewhat of an answer to the philosophy David decided he perceived in Just so Stories. The event this Friday will be a reading and signing for Not Quite so Stories, not Just so Stories. Kipling has not risen from the grave.

Management simply wanted to take the liberty of issuing a correction for The Denver Post. Anyway, as Oscar the Grouch once said: “There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about incorrectly by The Denver Post, and that is not being talked about by The Denver Post.”

(Management would like to thank Stefanie Huff for bringing this issue to their attention.)

Why Do I Like Bacon On My Burger Only If There’s Also Peanut Butter?

I know that bacon is one of nature’s most perfect foods. I know this. However, I’ve never been fond of bacon on a burger (burger, cheeseburger, whatever). I adore them separately, but I never really wanted the bacon on my burger itself. The combination just didn’t do much for me, leaving me craving the individual flavors of the bacon and the burger separately.

So why do I like peanut butter bacon burgers?

Seriously, I finally tried one at some point and now I’m craving these things. Bacon and burger together, meh. Add peanut butter and I can’t get enough (with or without cheese). I’m not even as fond of the peanut butter and burger together without the bacon.

Why is this?

Maybe I’m just odd. I know bacon is supposed to make everything better and peanut butter on a burger horrifies a lot of people. Still, I don’t want bacon on my burger unless there’s also peanut butter. If so, I’m all in.

I just can’t figure it out.

Don’t Forget: “Not Quite so Stories” Release Reading This Friday March 25th 7pm at The BookBar

Denver area people! Don’t forget that I’ll be doing a reading at the BookBar this Friday March 25 at 7pm to celebrate the release of Not Quite so Stories. Come on out! There should even be some free food.

Here’s a link to the Facebook event page. Let us know you’re coming! I hope to see you there.

What I Imagine BizarroCon Is Like

I never get to go to BizarroCon (the annual bizarro fiction writers’ retreat and gathering). It’s always in November and I always have enough other stuff I have to do then that I can’t get away from work. It’s really a shame, since the conference looks like a ton of fun. I’m never sure if anything I write can really be considered bizarro or not, I like to think at least some of it can be, but I’d still like to go to at least meet some of the authors I’m fond of there. I do read a bit of bizarro here and there.

Regardless, I never get to go.

Up until now, I’m only able to imagine what going there is like. I imagine it’s a lot like this:

Saint Patrick’s Day: I’ve Got This!

Recently, I was rushing out the door on the way to work on Saint Patrick’s Day and suddenly realized I wasn’t wearing any green. I’d already gotten dressed for work and hadn’t even thought about it at the time. I’d remembered it was Saint Patrick’s Day, but not to wear green to mark the occasion. My shirt was gray, my pants black. There was no time to change. What was I going to do?

Frantically, I hoped that I was somehow wearing some green and not realizing it. I wasn’t though. Not my shoes, socks, or even my underpants. There wasn’t even any green in the tags, not even on my undershirt. Did I have a green ribbon I could tie on my finger? I looked around my study, where I happened to be at the time, for some kind of quick, makeshift solution.

Then my brain flashed. I saw a green highlighter sitting on a bookshelf.

Yup, I got this. That’s some MacGyver level problem solving right there. I’ll take some applause now.

Groo Animated Gif!

I found myself wondering this morning if I could find a Groo animated gif. Groo the Wanderer is getting somewhat more obscure these days, but there are Groo fanatics out there. It’s always cool to find out someone else still remembers and is into Groo. But, are there enough of us out there to find a Groo animated gif in a Google images search? Yes, yes there are:

Mind you, I only found one and it’s kind of simple. Also, Google images kept trying to tell me I meant “Groot animated gif” instead of “Groo animated gif.” Still, cool.

Anybody got any cheese dip?

Obligatory Book Purchasing Link Post

You know these have to be done from time to time:

BUY ON AMAZON

Not What I Expect From Whole Foods

I have certain expectations from Whole Foods. I know that most things are going to be more expensive there. There are some things that I don’t think there are a reason for with how they do things, but it’s where people can get items that follow those things. For the most part, I expect higher standards for those higher prices. It’s interesting to see where they don’t sometimes meet those expectations.

For example: lobster cakes. I’m not much for lobster/crab/fish cakes, but my wife likes them. She sometimes got them from the fresh seafood counter at Whole Foods. However, when she went in recently, the person working the counter admitted that the lobster cakes weren’t actually fresh made at the store. They were made elsewhere by a third party and trucked in.

Is that what you expect at a fresh seafood counter? At Whole Foods? That isn’t what I expect. I should mention that these lobster cakes were $21 a pound.

The ingredients were also a surprise. Granted, lobster is the first ingredient. That’s good. However, the second and third are crab and cod. Is that really a “lobster” cake if lobster is only one of three meats (whatever you want to call it) used to make it? What’s the difference between their “lobster” cake and their crab or fish cakes? The addition of a bit of lobster? Flavorings? When someone calls something a lobster cake, I kind of expect it to be lobster, breading, and flavoring. The addition of crab and cod seems iffy to me.

Again, not for most grocery stores. I’d expect that from a lot of places…but not Whole Foods. Not for $21 a pound. Not at the fresh seafood counter.

Of course, there are some other strange things listed: lobster starch mix and crab concentrate. What the heck is a lobster starch mix? They list it has lobster and tapioca starch, but they already listed lobster…so why not just say tapioca starch? What’s going on here that they have to list lobster starch? More importantly, what the heck is crab concentrate (label: crab, salt, code and/or salmon)? Do they distill crabs? Is there some kind of frozen and/or dehydrated crab goo that they later add water to in order to make crab drinks?

Again, there are probably logical explanations here that I’m unaware of. Still, this is what I expect from normal grocery stores and not what I’m paying at a Whole Foods fresh seafood counter. $21? No thanks, not for that. I’ll go to a normal grocery store to get that kind of stuff, and pay less. I’m not springing for Whole Foods unless it really strikes me as a superior quality, fresher product. At least call it a lobster/crab/cod cake instead of trying to make it seem like it has more lobster than it does.

Just my thoughts.