David S. Atkinson's Blog, page 110

Spam About Spam

I went to clean my spam comments out from here a moment ago and noticed that I had a spam message about spam. It was a fake comment pretending to be a person asking if I had a problem with spam here on the blog and offering that I could email them about it.

Infinite regression reached. The universe will reboot in fifteen seconds.

That Elevator Just Insinuated That Ya’ll Are Liars

I was just in an elevator and a little tidbit appeared on a display screen stating that 44% of Americans admit to drinking caffeinated beverages after 2 p.m. Clearly, that elevator was insinuating that ya’ll are liars.

After all, why say “admit”? The insinuation is not that 56% simply don’t drink caffeinated beverages after 2 p.m., but rather that they won’t admit it. They’re hiding something.

Why not just say 44% of Americans state they drink caffeinated beverages after 2 p.m. Why make insinuations about people? If no insinuations are being made, why make it seem as if they were?

Honestly, some elevators.

I Should Have Listened To My Wife

I should have listened to my wife.

I’ve visited Montreal a couple of times now. My wife had been there before we went the first time. There was this restaurant she’d loved and we visited that so she could go again. She told me I needed to try their Hong Kong curry. Not being the fondest of curries because I don’t like heat with that particular flavor combination (I like heat with other things, just not curry flavor for some reason), I didn’t listen. Then I tried a bit of hers, because she went ahead and ordered it.

It was amazing. Not only did that particular kind not have heat, it had a unique curry flavor. It was so tasty.

So what? Get it next time, right? Surely we’d visit Montreal again, right? Sure, we did.

The restaurant is gone.

Yeah, completely gone. Vanished without a trace. That Hong Kong curry will forever elude me now. I really should have listened to my wife. (She’s going to love this.)

Cold Restaurants Should Offer Loaner Jackets

Cold restaurants should offer loaner jackets. They just should.

We’re at that marvelous time of year in Colorado where the temperature can vary wildly. If the sun comes out, you can be sweating. Then, when the sun goes behind the clouds, the temperature can plummet and you can freeze. We don’t get huge amount of cloud cover, but it happens. The main temperature can be such that a jacket isn’t required, but then you can oscillate between sweating and freezing many times in a given day. It’s almost guaranteed that whatever you wear will be wrong for weather conditions at least some point during the day.

So then we get restaurants that like to keep their cold cranked up. Whether by AC or by not heating, they’re cold. I understand that cold is easier than hot, and more likely to be capable of being comfortable or adjusted to by the majority of patrons, but still.

If you want to keep your restaurant really cold, offer loaner jackets.

Would that be so hard? I freely concede their right to keep their temperature at whatever they think suits most customers, but still. Some accommodations could be made. This comes from a visit to a place in Boulder where I typically spend between $50-150 for two people. I don’t think it’s too much to ask to be able to comfortably sit there in jeans and a t-shirt for that.

I mean, come on.

The Best Nickname I Ever Had

In the mid nineties, I found this incredible oversized top hat made of patches of red, gold, and green velour. I used to wear it with a black leather duster-style trench coat and green lennon shades. Given all that and how long I kept my blond hair at the time, some of the friends I was hanging around decided I reminded them of how Tom Petty dressed up like the Mad Hatter in the video for Don’t Come Around Here No More. They even started calling me Tom Petty for a while, regardless how little resemblance there actually was.

Mary Jane’s Last Dance was always on MTV at the time, back when MTV still showed videos, and the best was at one party where I was all dressed up like that and everyone was messed up so they made me get up next to the TV when the video came on and sing.

I’ve just been thinking about all that in the last day.  I’ve never been so proud to get a nickname in my life, not that I’ve had many that I can remember.

This Is Not A Weird Hot Dog Animated Gif

This is not a weird hot dog animated gif. It’s clearly an animated gif of a floating food fairy and the fact that the fairy is a hot dog is clearly simply a coincidence. The hot dog part is incidental and that identity fact alone does NOT make this a weird hot dog animated gif.

I did not break yesterday’s promise.

Back To The Basics

And now, back to the basics:

Last one. I promise. Thank you for your patience during weird hot dog animated gif week here at the blog.

This One Is Just Downright Creepy

This one is just downright creepy.

My savior has a first name….

Is This Hot Dog Threatening Or Not?

Is this hot dog threatening or not?

It kind of feels like it is, but also not. I’m not sure.

Aren’t You Glad I Didn’t Say Banana Hot Dog?

Aren’t you glad I didn’t say banana hot dog?

Well, maybe I did. Sorry.