Alan Fadling's Blog, page 73

Growing Older Isn't Always Growing Wiser

 

One morning last week, I was enjoying some moments in morning prayer when I came across these lines in Psalm 90:  

Our days may come to seventy years,
or eighty, if our strength endures;
yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow,
for they quickly pass, and we fly away.
Teach us to number our days,
that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
Psalm 90:10, 12

It’s sobering to think that, at 58, this verse says I might have only another 12 years (or 22 if my strength endures!) to grow in wisdom and do the good work of the kingdom God has graciously entrusted to me. Some of the years so far have felt more troublesome, but I find myself deeply grateful for so many ways the grace of God has guided me, grown me and made my life and work more fruitful. 

One of Gem’s mentors (and mine by extension) was a Benedictine abbot named David Geraets. He was her spiritual director when she was doing her training in direction. 

One of his insights that has stuck with me was if we don’t deal with our childhood wounds and hang-ups during midlife, they will haunt our senior years. We will find ourselves to be childish older adults. Can you think of men and women you’ve known who grew old, but didn’t grow mature? There’s nothing magic about getting old that makes you wise. 

But, if we deal well with those childhood wounds and issues, we may well find ourselves child-like older adults who know how to be playful, lighthearted, even unselfconscious. We might actually grow younger in soul even as we grow older in body. We might find ourselves becoming true elders. 

I wonder if the church knows how to help older adults to grow into elders. Keeping people busy with church jobs probably isn’t going to do it. How can we help men and women of all ages open their lives to the healing, freeing and transforming presence of Jesus so that we really are being renewed day by day (2 Co. 4:16)?

For Reflection: 

How might you bring the wounds of your childhood into the transforming presence of God? 
How might God fill some of the deficits from your youth? 
What unhealthy habits in your life have roots in your early years? How might God bring healing there? 

You just might find yourself growing younger as you grow older.

Photo by Quaid Lagan on Unsplash

Podcast: Finding Beauty in Dry Places

The desert has always been my least favorite geography. I live within 25 minutes of a beach and within 90 minutes of the mountains. I am also about 90 minutes away from the desert, but I had to look that up on a map because I purposely do not go there. The desert is hot and dry and sand colored. Plus, there’s cactus. I know that people have worked hard to bring water into the desert and there are plenty of oasis-type places there. But the desert is still the desert. So the question is – can beauty be found in the dry places?

Trusting Abundance

What is your heart’s image of God? Do you imagine God distant or near, skimping or lavish, aloof or intimate?

I read these lines from the psalms recently and they helped shape my imagination of the God who is always with me:

They feast on the abundance of your house;

you give them drink from your river of delights.

9  For with you is the fountain of life;

in your light we see light.

Psalm 36:8-9

“They” is simply all people who seek God. God is at home with abundance. We are invited to make ourselves at home in God’s abundance. The presence of God is not a place of want, but a place of plenty. It is a place of feasting. This is who God is. I have, sadly, been in the habit in the past of assuming scarcity as the basic reality of my life. I have been growing and learning to live in the light of kingdom reality more and more. It’s been good.

We also drink from a rushing river of joy and delight. A few weeks ago, I was in the Dominican Republic leading a retreat for a group of Christian leaders. We were at a different location than we’ve usually used. It was a compound right next to one of the major rivers in the county: the Yaque Del Norte.

One day, I walked down the long set of stairs to be next to the river for a while. I watched it for ten or fifteen minutes and realized just how much water was going by. That river has been flowing for a very long time, and it will still be flowing long after I have left this life. If I imagined this river in the same way I’ve sometimes imagined God, it would flow unpredictably, sometimes dry up, and at other times flow with strength. But this real river is a beautiful portrayal of the continual and strong flow of God’s grace, love and joy in our lives. God never “dries up.”

God is a spring of real life. God’s light enlightens the eyes of our hearts. God, would you please enable our eyes to see the flow of abundance that surrounds us in your presence. Grant us a vision of just how blessed we are so that we can live as a blessing to those among whom you’ve planted us.

Jesus, please enable me today to feast on abundance and resist the temptation to see my life and work through the false, grey lenses of scarcity. Show me how to drink from the roaring river of your holy delights. Show me how to lead from the place where life flows, in the light of your Presence. Enable me to enter into this beyond my capacity in the past. Amen.

For Reflection

What is your vision of life in God today? Does it look rich or poor, abundant or scarce?
What might you ask God to help you grow in your experience of his real and present abundance?

The post Trusting Abundance appeared first on Unhurried Living.

Podcast: Mindful Silence: The Heart of Christian Contemplation (Phileena Heuertz)

I enter today’s conversation with great anticipation. I’ve recently read Mindful Silence by Phileena Heuertz and cannot wait for you all to learn from her. She’s such a wealth of wisdom and heart.

In addition to Mindful Silence, Phileena is the author of Pilgrimage of a Soul and a founding partner of Gravity, a Center for Contemplative Activism. For nearly twenty years she and her husband, Chris, codirected an international nonprofit. As a spiritual director, yoga instructor, public speaker, retreat guide, and author, Phileena is passionate about spirituality and making the world a better place.

Phileena also wanted to share this resource with you: This is a rare and vulnerable conversation. Join her as she reflects on the themes of her book, Mindful Silence. Eight, inspiring mini films (10-20 minutes in length) edited by Travis Reed of The Work of the People, accompany each of the eight book chapters. Each video draws you into Phileena's heart, where you discover your own. Let these films support you along the transformational path of contemplative spirituality. Check it out HERE.

Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher

Join us on Patreon!

Become a Patron

Those of you who listen to our podcast know that we are creating a worldwide conversation at the intersection of deeper spiritual life and broader personal influence. That’s what we mean by Unhurried Living.

In an age where hurry, distraction and busyness are rampant, we share a different message: Rest Deeper. Live Fuller. Lead Better.

We need your help to keep this work going–and to make it better. So we invite you to join us as a partner on Patreon.com.

Our podcast will always be free to all listeners, but by subscribing to Patreon you can help–your monthly subscription helps us grow our team, pay for the hard costs of producing our work, and makes it possible for us to spread our message globally. You can partner with us for as little as $1 a month.

The post Podcast: Mindful Silence: The Heart of Christian Contemplation (Phileena Heuertz) appeared first on Unhurried Living.

Do I Have to go There to be Here?

Over the course of the last year and a half, as we’ve been writing What Does Your Soul Love?, we have set aside times to get away to focus on the writing. Thanks to generous friends with homes near Duck Creek, UT and Avila Beach, CA, these getaways were fruitful times of thinking and composing. We were really able to sink down into the work and focus.

After our second writing getaway I began to ask the question, “Why can’t I focus like this at home (in my home office)?” Why is it so hard to slip into these spaces in my own home? Do I really have to go away to feel away? That doesn’t seem realistic. I can’t easily get away that often. Am I really destined to have that kind of focus only when I’m hundreds of miles away from my actual life?

It’s easy to have boundaries and to let go of things when you are literally not at home. The boundaries are obvious. I only have the clothing, books, and technology that I brought in my suitcase.

It is difficult to feel the boundaries at home because everything happens there. Marriage, family, job, rest, housework. And, whether I want to or not, I carry all of it with me all the time. Not everything is at the same volume, but I carry it nonetheless.

So, is it possible to set and live within the boundaries (like in Avila or Utah) even when I am at home? I can feel both a yes and a no rising up within me. Well, it’s not really a no, it’s just a, “Man, that would take a lot of effort and would be very difficult” feeling. I’d have to learn to put everything aside as though it weren’t there, even though it is there. I would still have physical proximity to it.

When I’m away I feel lighter because I am not in proximity to the other people, work and things I carry. When I’m away, there are no dishes or laundry to do. Depending on the location, there is no internet on my computer, so no temptation to watch something or browse the web. I also understand that I’ve set this time aside to focus on God, my soul or the work at hand. So lots of other things simply take a back seat. They will be there when I return to them.

To do this at home, I would have to make the decision and learn to train my mind and my body to act like it is in that physical space that feels to me like a natural boundary. The work we do takes a distinct kind of focus. Preparing content that is meant for transformation and not merely passing on information means I have to pull from somewhere deep inside of me. That takes presence and focus.

I’ve been practicing this for a few months. Actually, right now, as I sit in my living room, in my special “work chair” I am pretending there is nothing else to do but write these words. And it is working. I know that some people can compartmentalize more easily than others. For some of us it takes real effort to hunker down in to this space. It takes becoming aware, being mindful and making decisions about where my focus is directed. I don’t do it perfectly, but I am definitely getting better at this.

Whether you find it easy to compartmentalize your life or you’re someone who carries the everything in your life around with you everywhere, I’d like to offer a few of our podcast episodes to help you become more present. Each of these are minisodes, so they are about 6-12 minutes in length. They are meant to be used in the middle of our actual, full lives.

You have permission to take a few minutes on your lunch break, before you head out in the morning, or as you rest in the evening. Choose one a day or one a week. See if any of them recommend themselves as an ongoing practice you would like to adopt as a way of bringing yourself back to presence (head, heart, and body all in the same place at the same time).

You know from experience that “being all there” is the most effective way to get things done.

Just like we conclude every episode of our podcast, I’d like to say to you:

We love connecting with more and more friends like you who want to rest deeper, live fuller and lead better.

Podcasts

#10 – S.L.O.W.

#19 – B.R.E.A.T.H.E.

#20 – Guided Prayer in Psalm 16 

#28 – The Welcoming Prayer

#36 – The Carry Prayer

#41 – Reservoir Leadership – Influencing from a Full Soul 

#47 – The Ocean of God’s Love

#56 – Practicing Presence: Moving from Resistant to Relaxed

#67 – Remain: The Unremarkable, Remarkable Branch

Photo by Cater Yang on Unsplash

The post Do I Have to go There to be Here? appeared first on Unhurried Living.

Wisdom: Living in Touch with Reality

I tend to be hypervigilant when it comes to trying to stay safe or making sure I have what I need. I tend to think ahead about possible bad scenarios that might arise, and what I’ll do if they do arise. I’m probably not the only one who does this.

So when I read the first three words of this little passage from Paul, it struck that place in me:

Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, 16  making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. (Eph 5:15-16)

There is a “be very careful how you live” that grows out of grace and peace, and there is one that is rooted in fear. There is a care that is based in love and a caution that grows out of anxiety. Maybe we could even paraphrase this first line as “care well for your life.” This sort of care is a wise thing to do at a time when there is a lot of without-God realities in play these days. (That’s how I read “evil” here).

So much of our world is oriented to a way of life without vital, interactive relationship with God. There is a great deal of carelessness in people’s lives. But Paul isn’t mainly making cultural commentary. He is mainly offering personal counsel to his friends. He wants to encourage us and stimulate us to care well for our actual lives.

Wisdom sees actual life, and real life is God-drenched. If my vision for life is God-thin, I will probably be unwise in the ways I live my life. God is with us in every single moment. We make the most of each moment when we remember this and live in this light. I don’t want to let the culture around me define life in a way that has little to do with the real, gracious, loving, generous presence of a Father in heaven.

I don’t want to allow a world that thinks that getting more, achieving more, impressing more people is the way to a full life to shape my intentions and actions. I want to be fully awake to my life and to the goodness God is always preparing for me.

For Reflection

In what ways would you say you have been wise with your life lately?
In what ways have you been unwise?
Perhaps take a moment to talk with God about this.

The post Wisdom: Living in Touch with Reality appeared first on Unhurried Living.

Podcast: Peace as An Operating System

Have you noticed that there is a lot of anxiety out there these days? Whether explicit and obvious, or implicit and underlying, many of us are feeling anxious or stressed. But we follow Someone who is called the Prince of Peace. Maybe that could make a difference in how we deal with challenges, troubles, hardships that cross our path. Maybe peace could actually become our operating system.

When we talk about an operating system, we mean the basic underlying software that helps a computer or a smartphone operate. Unless you're a tech nerd like I tend to be, you don’t think very often about the operating system of your device, that is, unless it stops working properly.

When we call peace an operating system, we’re saying that it is possible to learn how to allow peace to be the underlying framework of our lives. Peace might even become something unconsciously trusted rather than frantically sought.

 

Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher

Join us on Patreon!

Become a Patron

Those of you who listen to our podcast know that we are creating a worldwide conversation at the intersection of deeper spiritual life and broader personal influence. That’s what we mean by Unhurried Living.

In an age where hurry, distraction and busyness are rampant, we share a different message: Rest Deeper. Live Fuller. Lead Better.

We need your help to keep this work going–and to make it better. So we invite you to join us as a partner on Patreon.com.

Our podcast will always be free to all listeners, but by subscribing to Patreon you can help–your monthly subscription helps us grow our team, pay for the hard costs of producing our work, and makes it possible for us to spread our message globally. You can partner with us for as little as $1 a month.

The post Podcast: Peace as An Operating System appeared first on Unhurried Living.

What’s the Payoff: Engage in the Things that Matter

Transformation. I’m not sure why, but I am completely enamored with this topic. There is just something about process and the ability to change over time. Especially intriguing is the mystery of how God is the one who initiates and we cooperate with it all.

I facilitated an Enneagram workshop last week and I mentioned that even if you walked away from the Enneagram today and never looked at it again, you would be ok. But, I said, there’s a bit if here. IF you continued to be a person who made space and time to listen to God and to cooperate with his transforming process in your life.

The Enneagram may be a wonderful way to describe the dynamics of our coping strategies and the ways we can learn to let go, but God himself is the one who knows us inside out and can lead us out of the prisons we create for ourselves.

So, a question is begging to be asked. Are you aware of your own process and are you engaging it with God?

Some people continue to think that an unhurried life is something sluggish and semi-unproductive. The truth is that an unhurried life is one of complete engagement in the things that matter. There is nothing sluggish or unproductive about that.

Many years ago when I was beginning to run a photography business, I learned from the top entrepreneurs out there. They offered lots free webinars and online courses and I soaked it all up. One thing business gurus do well is to dangle a carrot in front of you about how much money you will make if you simply do what they say. They did it and so can you. Money speaks, as they say.

Here at Unhurried Living, Alan and I engage in the work of souls. We can make no such promises to anyone about making more money. In soul work and transformation no one is going to stand up in front of you and dangle the carrot of greater finances and cultural success.

No, we talk about things that are even more real and even more lasting. Presence. Wholeness. Health. Deeper peace, love and joy. The ability to discern and decide. The beauty of having a healthy view of time itself.

These things do not make you wealthy financially. They just make you wealthy as a human being.

Today is the first day of Lent, Ash Wednesday. We are going to walk through forty days of An Unhurried Lent. It’s not too late to join us.

Instead of giving up chocolate, consider giving up hurry in one area of your life. Learn to become more present in one, small, simple way. Practice over the course of forty days and see what happens.

This is real life. This is kingdom living. And this is inhaling grace.

Photo by Sheelah Brennan on Unsplash

The post What’s the Payoff: Engage in the Things that Matter appeared first on Unhurried Living.

Abide: At Home in God

On my desk is a little woodcarving of a single, simple word. It’s a biblical word, but it isn’t a word we use much in everyday language. It isn’t even a word that most modern Bible translations use anymore. The word? Abide.

In modern versions of John 15, the word that used to be translated “abide” is usually now simply “remain.” That’s perfectly fine, but my heart still loves the word “abide,” as in:

Abide in me as I abide in you. Just as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in me. (John 15:4 NRSV)

Abide is the language of home. “Be at home in Me as I make myself at home in you.” Abiding is an invitation to the reality of conversational relationship with God through Christ. And the reality is that deep and abiding relationship with God is what makes our lives, our relationships and our work fruitful. Apart from this sort of abiding, things dry up.

One of the books I read a long time back that had “abide” as its focus was Andrew Murray’s Abide in Christ. Listen to these rich, inviting words:

“It needs time to grow into Jesus the Vine: do not expect to abide in Him unless you will give Him that time. It is not enough to read God's Word, or meditations as here offered, and when we think we have hold of the thoughts, and have asked God for His blessing, to go out in the hope that the blessing will abide. No, it needs day by day time with Jesus and with God.” (Murray, Andrew. Abide in Christ. Fort Washington: Christian Literature Crusade, 1968, p. 7.)

So abiding is an unhurried posture in relationship to God. Abiding remains rooted in God. Day by day, what helps me abide is to:

Read the scriptures with a listening heart.
Reflect on what I read.
Rest in stillness and silence in God’s presence.
Receive God’s living water bubbling up from within me.

Hear the heart of Jesus extending an invitation to you: abide in me.

For Reflection:

What has abiding looked like for you lately?
How are you finding yourself more and more at home in Christ?
How are you finding Christ more and more at home in you?

The post Abide: At Home in God appeared first on Unhurried Living.

Podcast: Simplicity: Decluttering Your Life

Turn on social media and Marie Kondo is everywhere teaching people how to "declutter" to simplify their lives.

We can’t help ourselves. We are going to join the conversation on Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. If you haven’t seen the Netflix show or read the book, that’s ok. We’re going pass through the subject on our way to a deeper dive into why we’re tempted to cling to things and how letting go can help our souls.

Marie isn’t teaching this directly, but I’m seeing people sink down further into these two questions:

What do I really need?

What do I really want?

Most people live on such a surface level, purchasing items without thought. They collect “stuff” until they are overwhelmed not only outwardly, but inwardly. Pruning thoughtfully, one piece at a time, helps people dip down into the deeper place of true desire. And the term “spark joy” is one way to go there.

Subscribe on iTunes or Stitcher

Join us on Patreon!

Become a Patron

Those of you who listen to our podcast know that we are creating a worldwide conversation at the intersection of deeper spiritual life and broader personal influence. That’s what we mean by Unhurried Living.

In an age where hurry, distraction and busyness are rampant, we share a different message: Rest Deeper. Live Fuller. Lead Better.

We need your help to keep this work going–and to make it better. So we invite you to join us as a partner on Patreon.com.

Our podcast will always be free to all listeners, but by subscribing to Patreon you can help–your monthly subscription helps us grow our team, pay for the hard costs of producing our work, and makes it possible for us to spread our message globally. You can partner with us for as little as $1 a month.

The post Podcast: Simplicity: Decluttering Your Life appeared first on Unhurried Living.