Alan Fadling's Blog, page 69

Podcast 113: Finding Freedom from Constant Comparison (Richella Parham, Mythical Me)

Personality. Achievements. Skills. Relationships. Appearance. Richella Parham was haunted by thoughts of not measuring up. She writes, “No matter how well-intentioned the teachings or pithy the advice, I found that most of it didn’t help me change.” She discovered that cultural and spiritual myths about others, God, and ourselves keep us trapped. From there she found that the journey is a spiritual one. If you’ve ever suffered from tortured moments of comparison on Facebook, in the office, or in the hallway at church, you’ll benefit from this fresh perspective. 

As bonus content for this episode, you can download Chapter One of "Mythical Me" as a gift from Richella.

Richella Parham Social links:

https://twitter.com/RichellaParham

https://www.instagram.com/richellaparham/

https://www.facebook.com/richella.parsons.parham

 

Discount code for Mythical Me at InterVarsity Press: BULK4395 and offers free US shipping.

www.ivpress.com/mythical-me
1-4 copies - 30% off
5-9 copies - 35% off
10+ copies - 40% off

Rejoicing About or Rejoicing In?

When I was a young Christian attending a Baptist church that was about 20 minutes away from the home I grew up in, I decided I wanted to make good use of that regular drive. (I was on youth staff, so I ended up at the church multiple times a week). 

I decided to memorize the book of Philippians. This was the early 1980s, so I wrote out the whole book onto a series of 3x5 cards. I would rehearse those lines card by card until they became familiar and repeatable. Once I’d got to the place where I had the whole book committed to memory, I realized that it is a little more than 100 verses, and that it took me about the length of my drive to recite the whole book aloud. Philippians became a good friend to me in those years. 

Recently, when Gem and I wrote What Does Your Soul Love?, I drew on my experience of Paul’s letter to the Philippians when I wrote my part of our chapter on “Joy.” What struck me again is that there isn’t a lot in Paul’s life situation when he write that he can rejoice about, but he has a profound sense of every reason to rejoice in the Lord. 

For example, listen to how he describes his perspective on having been put in prison chains because of his proclamation of the good news about Jesus: 

Now I want you to know, brothers and sisters, that what has happened to me has actually served to advance the gospel. As a result, it has become clear throughout the whole palace guard and to everyone else that I am in chains for Christ. And because of my chains, most of the brothers and sisters have become confident in the Lord and dare all the more to proclaim the gospel without fear. 

Philippians 1:12-14

Serving God cost Paul dearly in circumstantial terms. He has lost his freedom. He could have focused on this loss of freedom, and yet he is able to focus instead on how God has used this intended evil for remarkable good. The elite guard of the Roman empire understands why Paul has been imprisoned. He isn’t a murderer or even a common criminal. He is in these chains for Christ’s sake. 

And Paul’s courage and even joy in prison has had the added benefit of emboldening his brothers and sisters in Philippi in Christ to join him in proclaiming the gospel. 

There are sometimes bad things that happen to us that we might be tempted to assess as nothing but loss. But, in God, I just might be able to see how God can turn even that which is intended to do me harm, to limit or hinder me, into something that powerfully furthers God’s intended purposes in my life and in this world. 

When it comes to lines, paragraphs, chapters or even books of Scripture that I’ve hidden in my heart and mind through memorization, I then have ready and immediate access to words that describe kingdom reality for me. Their message shines a light on the other lesser messages that seek to lodge themselves in my assumptions, my expectations, my emotions. 

When my circumstances are yelling something discouraging or frustrating, the words of God might whisper mightily that what is happening to me just might be a setting in which God’s purposes can still be accomplished. Circumstances do not throw a wrench in God’s wise, patient, persistent work in this world. I can always find my way to rejoicing in God when there doesn’t appear to be much in my life to rejoice about. 

For Reflection 

Have circumstances been hard for you or for someone you care about recently? If so, how? 
What if you turned Paul’s words from Philippians into something of your own prayer, whether for yourself or for the one you care about? What difference might that make? 
If there is anything causing your discouragement, anxiety, fear or other negative emotions, seek to turn your gaze from these things towards the face of God who is the very essence of joy, peace and kindness. See if you can catch a vision of God’s face gazing back as you with love and delight.

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

Podcast 112: How the First Christians Did Church (Inhaling Grace Audiobook, Part 17)

Welcome to the Unhurried Living Podcast. Today, we are sharing another Inhaling Grace audiobook episode. We pray these might be a few moments of remembering God’s grace that is with you, here and now, as you listen.

Podcast: How the First Christians Did Church (Inhaling Grace Audiobook, Part 17)

Welcome to the Unhurried Living Podcast. Today, we are sharing another Inhaling Grace audiobook episode. We pray these might be a few moments of remembering God’s grace that is with you, here and now, as you listen.

Meeting God in the Morning

In my early years as a new Christian, the virtues of a morning quiet time were often emphasized by my pastors and spiritual leaders. It became a very meaningful practice for me. Recently, I’ve often heard people reacting to this practice, feeling that it’s a rote activity without much depth.

As I sat to write this week’s post, I had a few ideas about what has been meaningful for me in my morning meeting with God these days. (And meeting with God midday, evening or midnight works just as well!)

First, the resource that has been providing the framework for my morning prayer has been The Book of Common Prayer. I’ve been especially grateful for the ACNA (Anglican Church in North America) 2019 edition that was finally completed and released last year. (You can download a PDF eBook for review from the link above). 

I’m grateful for the gift of a historic and time-tested framework for prayer. I’m grateful for how this daily rhythm of prayer follows the church year. I’m grateful for a very helpful lectionary built-in to it. This and my Bible have been my daily companions morning by morning for a while now, both at home and when I travel. 

As I thought further about meeting with God morning by morning, a few metaphors came to mind. These are how I envision my morning meetings with God in scripture and prayer. 

Morning meetings with God are a meal. Literally. This way of engaging scripture, of being in the Presence, of receiving God nourishes my soul. I bring the hungers and thirsts of my soul to God and I find something good that feeds me. 

Morning meetings with God are training. There are times, and plenty of them, when my “I don’t feel like it” feels stronger than my soul hunger for God. Distraction seeks to divert me from my morning seeking. Busyness and a very long “to do” list tempt me still to get going in the morning on my work. 

But the dailiness of my prayer is training my will to persevere. The prayers I pray from this prayer book have been growing my vocabulary in conversation with God. They have been the meaningful repetition that my soul has desperately needed. They have been for me a river into which I can step that is already flowing before I pray a word. 

Morning meetings with God are conversation with a Friend. As my mentor, Chuck Miller, so often said (and I’ve quoted him more times than I can count): “Prayer isn’t just something you do. It is Someone you are with.” 

I’m not merely “doing a spiritual activity.” I’m sitting in the presence of Father and Son in the power of the Spirit. This is personal. This is relational. This is communion. This is conversation. I am actually meeting with the Living God. 

Morning meetings with God are receiving an invitation. As a leader, I’m tempted to define my life mostly in terms of my activities. But as I said in An Unhurried Leader, leaders must also pay attention to their receptivities. 

Before we speak we must listen. Before we go to work, we must come into the presence of God. Before we serve others, we must receive the service of Jesus in our lives. Before we bless others, we ourselves must receive the continual blessing of God. 

It’s been a great gift in recent weeks to rise especially early to meet with God. (Sometimes I rise early because our old dog doesn’t have the bladder capacity to sleep through the night anymore!). 

I hope you sense the joy of the Father’s heart and God’s invitation to you to come and meet with him. 

For Reflection

As you think about these four ways of seeing a morning meeting with God, is there one that feels especially timely for you today? 
How do you think God would enjoy meeting with you in the morning’s these days?

Photo by Jonas Weckschmied on Unsplash

Podcast 111: The Winding Path of Transformation (Jeff Tacklind)

When you dream about growing in your spiritual life—in your communion with God, do you imagine it as a relatively straight and upward journey? Progress at every new stage and season? Or, have you come to realize that the path is more often crooked than straight. Today, Alan interviews his friend and fellow author, Jeff Tacklind, about his recently-released book, The Winding Path of Transformation on the Unhurried Living podcast.

It shouldn’t surprise us that the path of human transformation is not a perfect series of smooth moves towards maturity. Sometimes we get stuck. Sometimes we move backwards. At least that’s been our experience. We're glad to be able to share a very honest and helpful conversation Alan recently had with friend, Jeff Tacklind, about his new book, The Winding Path of Transformation.

In it, Jeff shares many very transparent and personal stories of his own journey of transformation. He is lead pastor of Church by the Sea in Laguna Beach, California, where he lives with his wife, Patty, and their three children. He is a spiritual director and has a master's degree in philosophy and a doctorate in semiotics and future studies.

We think you’re going to appreciate the conversation.

We are also happy to let you know that InterVarsity Press has been kind enough to make a free excerpt from Jeff's book available to our listening audience.

Podcast: The Winding Path of Transformation (Jeff Tacklind)

When you dream about growing in your spiritual life—in your communion with God, do you imagine it as a relatively straight and upward journey? Progress at every new stage and season? Or, have you come to realize that the path is more often crooked than straight. Today, Alan interviews his friend and fellow author, Jeff Tacklind, about his recently-released book, The Winding Path of Transformation on the Unhurried Living podcast.

It shouldn’t surprise us that the path of human transformation is not a perfect series of smooth moves towards maturity. Sometimes we get stuck. Sometimes we move backwards. At least that’s been our experience. We're glad to be able to share a very honest and helpful conversation Alan recently had with friend, Jeff Tacklind, about his new book, The Winding Path of Transformation.

In it, Jeff shares many very transparent and personal stories of his own journey of transformation. He is lead pastor of Church by the Sea in Laguna Beach, California, where he lives with his wife, Patty, and their three children. He is a spiritual director and has a master's degree in philosophy and a doctorate in semiotics and future studies.

We think you’re going to appreciate the conversation.

We are also happy to let you know that InterVarsity Press has been kind enough to make a free excerpt from Jeff's book available to our listening audience.

Love People

As I’ve been leaning into the new year, one of the themes that has emerged for me is love. Specifically, love people. 

For insight and wisdom into love, what better passage to turn to than 1 Corinthians 13? Last week, I took some time in my journal to type up the simple phrases from verses 4-7. We’ll get to that in a minute. But first…

In Peterson’s Message version of verses 1-3, it says that without love we are:

The creaking of a rusty gate.
Nothing.
Bankrupt.

This does not describe how I want to live. How about you?

Today, I invite you to:

Peruse the bullets below and see if one phrase stands out to you. 
Choose that phrase and determine one small step you could take that leads you in the direction of love.
Try to be specific. Think of a person you could love in this way.
Reply to this email and share with me your intention to love. (Just a couple of brief sentences.)
Then…go…and…love.

Each bullet point has three phrases. The first phrase comes from the NIV, the second from The Message, and the third (in parentheses) is my two cents.

 

Love is patient. Love never gives up. (Keeps trying. Doesn’t walk away.)


Love is kind. Love cares more for others than for self. (Not me, me, me. See others.)


It does not envy. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. (I already have what I need.)


It does not boast. Love doesn’t strut. (True humility. Seeing myself rightly.)


It is not proud. Doesn’t have a swelled head. (Seeing myself in light of God’s grace.)


It does not dishonor others. Doesn’t force itself on other. (Not pushy. Not against. Let go.)


It is not self seeking. Isn’t always “me first.” (Take my turn, in humility.)


It is not easily angered. Doesn’t fly off the handle. (Listen first, not anger first.)


It keeps no record of wrongs. Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others. (Drop my rocks and walk away.)


Love does not delight in evil. Doesn’t revel when others grovel. (Empathy with others’ low point.)


But rejoices with the truth. Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth. (Loves what is real.)


It always protects. Puts up with anything. (Super long fuse.)


Always trusts. Trusts God always. (Focus is in the right place.)


Always hopes. Always looks for the best. (Creatively positive and looks for wheat among the weeds.)


Always perseveres. Never looks back, but keeps going to the end. (No regrets, no grudges, no fuming. In this for the long haul.)

 

Let’s be a force of love in this often hurried and sometimes contemptuous culture. This is unhurried leadership at its best. Blessings to you as you determine to be a person of love today.

“Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly.” (1 Cor. 13:13, Message)

P.S. Be sure to listen to our recent Unhurried Living Podcast, episode #109, entitled How to Move Through Fear. One of the main ways we work through our fears is to not avoid them, but to lean into them. An unhurried leader makes this kind of time. Listen in as we unpack these ideas further in #109.

Podcast 110: A Family Resemblance (Inhaling Grace Audiobook, Part 16)

Welcome to the Unhurried Living Podcast. Today, Alan Fadling sharing another Inhaling Grace audiobook episode. We pray that these might be a few moments of remembering God’s grace that is with you, here and now, as you listen.

Podcast: A Family Resemblance (Inhaling Grace Audiobook, Part 16)

Welcome to the Unhurried Living Podcast. Today, Alan Fadling sharing another Inhaling Grace audiobook episode. We pray that these might be a few moments of remembering God’s grace that is with you, here and now, as you listen.