Alan Fadling's Blog, page 65

No Means Yes

No. It’s such a small word. Why is it so hard to say?

Guilt? Obligation? Pride?

But sometimes saying "No" is actually a "Yes."

Yes to margin.
Yes to boundaries.
Yes to rest.

The COVID-19 pandemic has been one large and invasive “NO!” to all of us. 

No, you may not get together with your friends. 
No, you may not go to your traditional office or place of work. 
No, you may not travel.
No, you may not carry on as usual in your daily life.

You are likely reading this around April 15, but I am writing this a week earlier. We were just told by the surgeon general to stay home unless it is an emergency. That we need to work together to stop the spread of the virus. He used words like “911” and “Pearl Harbor” to be sure we knew that it is important to abide by their suggestions.

So, here I am, on a Monday morning, in my regular chair, typing on my regular computer, while I talk about a dynamic that is highly irregular.

Before I go on, I want to stop and pray for you right now:

God, thank you that you see us. Thank you that your love is unchanging and unmoving. For each person who receives our weekly email I ask this—that your presence would be undeniable; that there might be a ray of hope, even though situations might be difficult; that each one might be able to feel and express their honest emotions; that they might be able to draw from a deeper well of love as they are enclosed with their loved ones; that those who are alone will somehow have a sense of with-ness through online connections. Thank you that you hold us in this season. Amen.

Back to the idea of no leading to yes. Above I talked about margin, boundaries and rest. Those three may still seem like elusive friends to some of us. But I have also been hearing from friends and seeing on my social media feeds that people are enjoying parts of their lives they “didn’t have time for” before.

Here are some examples of what I’ve been seeing:

Family time – dancing, puzzle making, cooking.
Exercise – getting outdoors more by running, walking, biking or hiking.
Cleaning – organizing, purging and donating.
Inner work – prayer, solitude, reading, meditating and worship

People are reaching out to each other more (thank you Marco Polo App). All because we received a big fat “NO!”

The vitriol and contempt that were flooding the news and social media feeds has quieted (at least some). All because we received a big fat “NO!”

We are all more focused on what is truly important—gratitude for those serving us in hospitals, law enforcement and grocery stores. All because we received a big fat “NO!”

The COVID-19 “No!” has become a big fat “YES!” to community, to family, to friendship, to gratitude.

I don’t know about you, but I am praying that this big fat “NO!” continues on in a big fat tendency toward “YES!” to all that is good and focused and central, even after we move beyond all of this. 

It’s actually not too early to think about this. Let’s resolve now not to return to the “regular” in the same ways as before. Let’s let this change do its work in us now so that we will bear the fruit of being better people later.

Soul work and transformation are intentional. So continue to be open to the work that is occurring in you in this time. Meet God in that place. A pandemic is as good a time as any to take stock and re-prioritize how you view yourself, your relationships, your work and your life.

Reflection

Write down some of the no’s that have occurred in your life recently.
What yes’s have shown up in their place?
What has been your most difficult adjustment?
What are you most grateful for during this time of change and isolation?

Let these questions lead you to prayer…simply sharing your heart with God. How does God want to meet you right here and right now? How does COVID-19’s no lead you to God’s yes?

 

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

Podcast 122: Movies are Prayers (Josh Larsen)

According to our guest, Josh Larsen, “Films and faith have been intertwined in my head since childhood. As a practicing film critic, I hope to encourage other Christians in a nuanced, aesthetically focused, and theologically rooted exploration of the art of cinema.”

Movies Are Prayers explores how modes of prayer—praise, confession, lament—are modeled by all types of films. In this fashion, Josh’s book illuminates the richness of both cinema and prayer. 

Josh Larsen is the co-host of the podcast Filmspotting. He is also the editor of Think Christian, a digital magazine on faith and culture, Larsen has influenced the minds of moviegoers on the applicability of stories to real life, spirituality, and faith for years. You can read Josh's movie reviews at his website, larsenonfilm.com. 

Connect with Josh:
Twitter @LarsenOnFilm
Facebook @larsenonfilm

Entering into the Gift of Sabbath

I’m often asked what Sabbath looks like for me. Though I have a book with Sabbath in the subtitle, this does not mean that I’m always a master of Sabbath. It continues to be a practice I’m growing in and learning to receive as the gift that it is. 

A while back, I read something Rob Bell wrote about Sabbath that was very helpful to me: 

“Sabbath is taking a day a week to remind myself that I did not make the world and that it will continue to exist without my efforts.

Sabbath is a day when my work is done, even if it isn’t.

Sabbath is a day when my job is to enjoy. Period.

Sabbath is a day when I am fully available to myself and those I love most.

Sabbath is a day when I remember that when God made the world, he saw that it was good.

Sabbath is a day when I produce nothing.

Sabbath is a day when at the end I say, ‘I didn’t do anything today,’ and I don’t add, ‘And I feel so guilty.’

Sabbath is a day when my phone is turned off, I don’t check my email, and you can’t get a hold of me.”* 

I was reading this on a three-day retreat that was a Sabbath-like space in the midst of a very busy season of ministry. As I reflected on these words, these were the insights God was bringing to mind and heart: 

Our lives and the work of Unhurried Living does not cease because I step away like this. You are at work even when I rest. 
It doesn’t help when I pressure myself to be productive, efficient or active. These are the wrong rulers by which to measure Sabbath. Sabbath is for rest, not work. 
The work of my Sabbath spaces is to enter into joy. I haven’t always found it easy to simply enjoy the life I already have. A good question for my Sabbath is, “What would I enjoy doing (or not doing) with God today? 
Sabbath isn’t just a solitary day. It’s a day to be available to both myself and those near me. It’s a day to simply receive the gift of relationship. 
Sabbath is a day to see. I can let God’s Spirit show me how to keep my eyes open to the good that surrounds me. 
Setting Sabbath goals isn’t probably my best move. It activates my productivity meter. Sabbath is a day to let that rest. 
I can resist the temptation to guilt. Sabbath is a gift to be received. I am not being measured for getting the most out of it. 
It’s always good when I go digitally quiet on my Sabbath days. 

Is there one of these insights about Sabbath that sounds especially important for you to try on or make a more consistent element of your own weekly resting? 

*Rob Bell. Velvet Elvis. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 2005, p. 117-18.

 

Photo by David Hellmann on Unsplash

Podcast 121: The Power of Cooperative Relationships (Greg Holder)

We are living in one of the most polarizing times in terms of the public conversation that I can remember in forty years of adult life. And we are being invited to be the people of God in this very world. What is Jesus inviting us to? What is on the heart of Jesus for his people in such a time as this. And how does Jesus’ prayer that we would be one as he and the Father are one provide guidance for us now? 

Alan recently enjoyed a conversation with Greg Holder about his book The Genius of One. Here is a description of what the book’s about: 

“The world is fractured. Tensions are high, patience is low, and goodwill is hard to come by. In The Genius of One, author Greg Holder reminds us of the high value Jesus and his early followers placed on community and offers guidance for how to see and relate to one another in emotionally and spiritually healthy ways so that we, the Church, can fulfill Jesus’ prayer for us and model a better way of loving on another in a fractured world."

Doesn’t that sound like something we need today perhaps more than we ever have? 

Greg Holder is a pastor, author, speaker, and story-teller. He has been the Lead Pastor for 20+ years at The Crossing, a multi-site church that reaches 8,000+ people across four campuses in the St. Louis, Missouri area and a thriving online community. He is the author of The Genius of One, Advent Conspiracy, and translator of the book of Jeremiah for The Voice Bible. The Genius of One Conference has trained 1,000+ pastors across India, Kenya, Rwanda, Sierra Leone, Uganda, Zimbabwe, and Zambia. With a diverse assortment of interest, gifts, and training, including degrees in psychology and counseling, Greg brings unique insight into the development of God-honoring relationships. Greg’s next book, Never Settle, will be released in Fall 2020 through NavPress. 

You can connect with Greg at the following:
Facebook @GregHolder0
Instagram @GregHolder_
Twitter @GregHolder_

The Quality of Your Life

I love watching cooking shows. It’s all just a delight to the senses. The colors, the creativity…I love it all.

Every chef is different, but all chefs agree on this one thing: A chef is only as good as her ingredients.

There is a difference between canned green beans and fresh haricot vert from an organic garden. There is a difference between boxed potato flakes and a beautiful yukon gold fresh from the ground.

Spiritual leadership is no different.

I may have shared this quote before, but it is worth repeating, especially now.

“All the church needs to fulfill Christ’s purpose on earth is the quality of life he makes real in the life of his disciples.” (Dallas Willard)

The quality of our lives matters. Note that this is more than just what we know or even what we do. Dallas is talking about the quality of our lives. This is the how of our way of living.

In the vernacular of chefs and cooking, the question is this: Are our lives flavorful? In other words, is there something inviting about the way of our life? Are people enticed by the quality of how we live?

You can guess that I’m not talking about outward things like possessions or achievements. I’m talking about your vibe, your essence--your way.

This doesn’t mean we will always please everyone. Even Jesus had his critics. But Jesus was authentic, loving, wise and compelling. His way mattered. So much so that he said, “I am the way.”

What is the quality of your life? Let Jesus show you the way. 

Reflection

Look at the Willard quote again. What does it mean to you personally?
What are the fresh ingredients in your life right now that contribute to your way?
If you feel a little more like canned green beans these days, what can you do to invite freshness into your life?
Ask God to give you one next step to take.

Day by day, moment by moment, we have the opportunity to take small, simple and gracious steps along this path.

Keep going, loved one. You are far more than a can of green beans.

 

Photo by Maarten van den Heuvel on Unsplash

Podcast 120: Our Good Shepherd (Inhaling Grace Audiobook, Part 20)

Book Review: Write Better (Andrew T. LePeau)

Recently, a long-time friend and fellow pastor reached out to me for lunch. It had been a little while since we were last together. He shared that he was working on his first book in which he wanted to share wisdom he’s gained over decades of church, and especially small group, ministry. He was asking for input from my experience. We had a great time together. 

Over the course of lunch, when it came time to recommending further resources to him, I was so glad I remembered Andy LePeau’s recently published Write Better: A Lifelong Editor on Craft, Art, and Spirituality. (As Andy was finishing the first draft, he reached out to me to share the story of a stuck place I’d found myself in when writing in my second book, An Unhurried Leader. You can read that little story in his book on page 211).

What a beautiful book this is! When I read it, I felt like I was being coached with compassion and wisdom. I love the main sections on both the Craft and the Art of Writing. There is a lot of practical wisdom for how to get started, how to get unstuck and how to improve what you’re writing. 

What I especially appreciated and found unique in this book is the section on the Spirituality of Writing. He touches key themes such as writing as calling, finding your voice, how to write about yourself unselfishly, spiritual authority, courage in writing, and writing as stewardship. This section alone is worth the price of the book! 

Since I’m writing this review as COVID-19 quarantines are beginning, and since I have a lot of unexpected free time due to cancelled engagements, I’m working on two book projects. This book is going to be close at hand to help me make my way. 

Buy yourself a copy of this book via this link!

(I was sent a complimentary copy of this book by the publisher, and invited to write an honest review. Unhurried Living is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.)

 

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

When You Are Alarmed

When I’m reading scripture, I keep my eyes open and my ears attentive to lines that stir me, provoke me or arrest me. When this happens, I take time to reflect further on these words. A while back, while reading the book of 2 Chronicles, a short passage caught my attention like this: 

Alarmed, Jehoshaphat resolved to inquire of the Lord, and he proclaimed a fast for all Judah. The people of Judah came together to seek help from the Lord; indeed, they came from every town in Judah to seek him.

2 Chronicles 20:3-4

When I reflect on a passage like this, I always try to start with paying attention to what the passage is saying (rather than jumping quickly to “What does it mean?” or “How will I respond?”). These are both important questions, but they are best asked against the backdrop of caring listening. 

These words caught my attention: 

Alarmed
Resolved to inquire
Proclaimed
Came together to seek help

“Alarmed” describes their perspective on being under immanent attack. There is no human reason to think they would be able to fend off the attack of three different armies (Moabites, Ammonites, Meunites). 

There are times when I feel overwhelmed in the face of big challenges or hardships. Alarm can sometimes paralyze me, but I’m learning to respond like Jehoshaphat. I can direct the energy of fear or anxiety into a resolve to seek God and pay attention to His presence and His voice. This is the fruitful way forward. 

“Resolved to inquire” describes Jehoshaphat’s intentionality to ask for God’s guidance and help. When I feel threatened or alarmed, the first thing I can learn to do is to seek God’s help. It may seem obvious, but too often I jump straight to mental and emotional fretting, or doing an internal forecast of future horrible outcomes, or frantically doing anything that comes to mind without thinking much about whether it’s worth doing or helpful. It is usually more escape than engagement. Most simply, I can offer a one-word prayer: “Help!” 

“Proclaimed” says that Jehoshaphat wasn’t alone. He invited the people of God to join him in this inquiry. Part of the help God can give us comes from brothers and sisters near us. “I can do it myself” is usually not our most mature response to trouble. We can call out for the help of our friends. 

“Came together to seek help” say that there came a moment when God’s people actually gathered at Jehoshaphat’s initiative. Some meetings seem pointless, but this is a meeting where there is a united sense of purpose and focus. Community is a key source of divine help to us in our troubles. 

So what comes of this moment of seeking God’s help together? A prophet, Jahaziel, arises to speak on God’s behalf: 

He said: “Listen, King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the Lord says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.

2 Chronicles 20:15

Part of the help God gives is the help of confidence and courage in the face of our troubles or challenges. God promises that the battle before us is not just ours. God is taking ownership of it. He speaks to us, “I encourage you to be strong and courageous. What overwhelms you does not overwhelm me. I will be the one doing the overwhelming of that which troubles or challenges you.” 

Lord, enable us to learn, in very practical ways, how to seek you, walk with you, be at home in you, work with you. What a fruitful way forward! 

For Reflection

When you are alarmed, what is your usually first response? Take a moment to think of a recent moment that made you anxious or fearful. What is your common first reaction? 
What might it look like to follow the example of Jehoshaphat—to seek God’s wisdom, God’s help and the fellowship of brothers and sisters who will stand together with you? Talk with God a bit about that.

Photo by Timothy Eberly on Unsplash

Podcast 119: The Most Personal is the Most Universal (Morgan Harper Nichols)

 “A celebration of hope. An encounter with grace. A restoration of the heart. A healing of wounds. An anthem of freedom. All Along You Were Blooming is the ultimate love letter from the pen of popular Instagram poet Morgan Harper Nichols to your mind, to your heart, to your soul, and to your body.” 

This is a description of Morgan’s new book, All Along You Were Blooming. But it’s an even greater way to describe Morgan herself. A hopeful, gracious, restoring healing artist and creative. 

We just “happened” to meet each other last year at a workshop (you’ll hear more about that in a bit). And we have become friends over the course of this last year. Morgan is an old soul in the best sense of that phrase. I always enjoy her presence because she likes to “go there” so easily. 

Our conversation takes us all over the place: from growling stomachs to pregnancy and from suffering to slowness – you will love Morgan. And I hope you are inspired to connect with your inner creative. 

 

Follow Morgan on InstaGram at:
@morganharpernichols

You can fine her book at the All Along Your Were Blooming at the following locations:

Paper Source:
https://www.papersource.com/desk/she-will-make-beautiful-things-notepad-10011553.html

B&N - All Along You Were Blooming
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/all-along-you-were-blooming-morgan-harper-nichols/1130949248?ean=9780310454076

Target – All Along You Were Blooming
https://www.target.com/p/all-along-you-were-blooming-by-morgan-harper-nichols-hardcover/-/A-76452381

If It's Human...It's Mentionable

Wow. We have been through it this week, right? The escalating news on COVID-19 has many people running to the store and stock piling supplies. From movie stars to sports figures, more and more people are being diagnosed. 

This is a great time to talk about fear and our response to it. It is good for all of us to stay responsibly informed and healthy, helping to keep others healthy as well. 

It’s also ok to feel fear (or anger or frustration or confusion). And it’s good to remember that fear is not our best motivator nor our best engine. 

Have you seen the new Mr. Roger’s movie? If not, don’t worry. There are no spoilers coming.

Like most other people, I really loved the movie. It was not at all what I expected, which was a welcome treat. One of my favorite lines from the movie was this:

Anything human is mentionable. And anything that is mentionable is manageable.

Fear is definitely a human emotion. Which, by Mr. Roger’s definition, means that it is mentionable—and, by extension, manageable.

So, during this time of social distancing and self-imposed quarantines, let’s remember to keep talking to each other. 

Share with your loved ones how you feel so that you can manage your fears, worries and concerns. Not in a “dump it on them” way, but in a “I need to process something with you” way. 

Sharing our feelings can help to keep them from overwhelming us. Our feelings want to be seen and heard. It doesn’t work to deny them. Then we, as the mature adults we are, can continue to discern our actions and responses.

Mr. Rogers had a such a way about him. He was tenaciously good. The way he engaged teaching children about the real current affairs of the world — well, he was singular in his efforts.

This idea of human-mentionable-manageable really brings it all into focus, doesn’t it? It’s an invitation to talk about what is really going on and stepping out in faith that it is actually not unmanageable. What we mention is manageable.

Mr. Rogers’ statement put courage in me. And that is encouragement at its best. It means we don’t have to hide. 

What are your feeling today in light of COVID-19?
What can you mention about it today? 
How might that make it more manageable?

Human. Mentionable. Manageable. 

Sounds like a good way forward.

P.S. Here is a helpful article written by Andy Crouch and shared with us by our diocese, Churches for the Sake of Others. Feel free to read and make use of whatever parts of this counsel suits you and your people.

Crouch covers the following:

What is happening? An overview of the most important things for Christian leaders, anywhere in the United States, to know about SARS-CoV-2 and COVID-19.
What should we communicate? A list of the most helpful messages others can hear from us — and the most harmful messages as well.
What decisions should we make? Recommendations for decisions about large gatherings, medium-size gatherings for Christian worship, and small groups meeting in households.

What can we hope for? A few reflections on the genuine possibility that our decisions in the next few weeks could reshape the practice of Christian faith in our nation and, God being merciful, lead to a revival of the church of Jesus Christ in America.