Alan Fadling's Blog, page 50

Follow the Leader: Lived Grace

Many years ago, I (Gem) was arranging an event over the phone with a venue. I told the representative the name of our organization, and he immediately asked, “Oh, are you a leader?” I was surprised by the question. It felt so stark. Am I a leader? Even though I had led in various ways for most of my adult life, I could not answer that question without pausing.

 

Around that same time, I was attending a workout class at the local YMCA. I stopped at the front desk to sign in, and the woman behind the counter pointed out two new women who would be in the same class with me that morning.

 

Once I got into class, I went up to one of the women and introduced myself. I remembered what it was like to be new and thought it would be nice for them to feel welcomed. The woman’s friend came in a minute later and we met. As we were talking, one of the women asked me if I was the instructor. I said, “No, I just come here to have fun and exercise.” She responded by saying that I looked like someone who had authority.

 

I thought about her comment. Maybe that’s something of what it means when Jesus talks about being salt and light. The fact that I was open to these women showed a kind of leadership. I wasn’t intentionally going for that. I just wanted to make them feel welcome, and I always enjoy meeting new people.

 

So then, what is a leader? What does it mean to look like someone who has authority? Certainly I wasn’t leading these women to do anything. I merely took initiative to welcome them. And now we’re getting somewhere. Initiative. Influence.

 

We are all influencers. Even if you don’t want to call yourself a leader, you are still an influencer wherever you go.

 

Many people don’t think they are leaders because they don’t have a particular title or role. But from the beginning of Unhurried Living, we have been saying that you do not have to have a position of influence to be a person of influence. Everyone is a leader, an influencer, in some way.

 

That day after my workout class, I was thinking about the way the Zumba instructor led us. We all gathered behind her and followed exactly what she was doing. She didn’t call out any of the moves; she simply did them in front of us and we copied her. Followership is one of the distinctives of Zumba and of leadership in general.

 

Over the years, I have enjoyed learning from various Zumba instructors. Without question, my favorite ones have been those who were highly skilled, passionate, and connected to the group. They had done the hard work of achieving their fit body and developing their ability to teach. Their excellence made me want to reach for that same level.

 

Again, their abilities, modeled before my very eyes, inspired me to grow in my abilities. This is not to say that these skilled women were perfect. Sometimes they forgot a move here or there, but we simply kept moving.

 

In our own lives we can be like these Zumba instructors—not always saying something but modeling something. Like them, many of us have done the hard work of growing and maturing in Christ. Without getting trapped by perfectionism, we can all do our best to live our lives from the inside out. We can be people who model John 15:5, “Apart from me [Jesus] you can do nothing,” and Colossians 3:2, “Set your mind on things above.”

 

In 1 Corinthians 11:1, Paul says, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” I want to be able to say this to others with authenticity, don’t you?

 

People may or may not need more information. But they will always need someone to model lived grace, lived truth, right before their very eyes.

 

In that workout room there were women of all shapes, sizes, and ages. We were all at different skill levels, and that was okay. Some had been there for a while and knew all of the routines. Some could hold their own but were still learning new routines each time. Others were brand-new and didn’t know anything. But each one kept going no matter what. Even the newcomers didn’t give up. Even when they were moving the wrong direction and could barely get their feet to go in the right place, they just kept trying.

 

There was an encouraging feeling in that room. The music was loud, the energy was high, and we were all working toward the same goal—to be healthy. To accomplish that, we simply followed our skilled, focused, and present leader.

 

Reflection 

In what ways are you an influencer to those around you?
In what ways can you see how living grace often helps others more than the words you speak?
Who is someone in your life that you try to imitate? What is it about them that inspires you?

 

Photo by bruce mars on Unsplash

Podcast 188: Introducing the I Can Do That! Podcast

Growth is good. This is one of our undercurrent beliefs here at Unhurried Living. So I am excited to share with you that this podcast is growing, or I guess I should say, multiplying! We’re going to give you all the details right here and right now.

The Unhurried Living podcast has been coming at you for four years now. It has been our privilege to provide content to encourage and inspire. And we’ve enjoyed interviewing so many amazing people about such important topics. Well, all this goodness is just going to get better. 

Starting in September, we will be offering two podcasts instead of one! Alan is going to continue to host this Unhurried Living Podcast and it will focus even more specifically on unhurried leadership. I’ll be starting a brand new podcast called I Can Do That! and that’s what we’re going to talk about today. 

Group Coaching with Gem

Your video invitation to join Gem on a journey to manage your narratives or embrace change. Simply click the image below to learn more. Or, visit our Coaching page to learn more about upcoming group coaching options. 

Addiction: Emotional Deficit Spending

To cope with the stresses of the COVID-19 quarantining over this last year, many Americans have turned to alcohol and even drug use. One survey of 1,000 people had more than half of them acknowledging an increase in their drinking patterns in the first month of quarantining last April 2020 as compared with their pre-quarantine patterns. The problem is that these substances are addictive and addiction has a way of making promises it can’t keep.

 

When we act on addictive impulses, it is like borrowing against future emotional resources. Having a few too many drinks to help us feel lighthearted or relaxed is like borrowing peace or joy from our future. Overeating as a source of comfort is like borrowing comfort from my (Alan) future and will lead to inevitable discomfort.

 

There is a physical reality that substance or behavior addictions stimulate or imitate certain brain chemicals in a way that causes those parts of the brain to function less effectively the next time. If I distract myself now to avoid unpleasant feelings, might I be borrowing concentration or attention from my future?

 

Addiction makes big promises that it can’t keep and actually delivers the very opposite of its claim. What a difference there is between the deficit-spending approach of addiction and the abundance orientation of overflow living and leading.

 

Reflection Questions 

What temptations have been especially hard for you to resist lately?
What good is temptation promising you but failing to deliver?
How might you find that good in God?

 

Photo by Valentin Lacoste on Unsplash

Fall Group Coaching with Alan

Podcast 187: Attachment and Attunement (Gem with Rev. Summer Gross) (Summer of Unhurried Favorites)

Over the summer, we have shared nine episodes of our podcast we called “Unhurried Favorites.”  Today is our tenth and final summer favorite and we’re sharing “Attachment and Attunement: Finding Homebase in the Heart of God with Summer Joy Gross.”  Summer and Gem discuss neuroscience, attachment and spiritual practices. This is the heartbeat of Summer’s work and she shares with such grace and care.

Summer is the curator of a program called The Presence Project where she helps women connect with God an feel his presence, through live events, Immanuel Journaling small groups and spiritual direction.

Connect with Summer on social media at:
Instagram @revsummerjoy
Facebook @presenceproject

Over the summer, we have shared nine episodes of our pod...

Over the summer, we have shared nine episodes of our podcast we called “Unhurried Favorites.”  Today is our tenth and final summer favorite and we’re sharing “Attachment and Attunement: Finding Homebase in the Heart of God with Summer Joy Gross.”  Summer and Gem discuss neuroscience, attachment and spiritual practices. This is the heartbeat of Summer’s work and she shares with such grace and care.

Summer is the curator of a program called The Presence Project where she helps women connect with God an feel his presence, through live events, Immanuel Journaling small groups and spiritual direction.

Connect with Summer on social media at:
Instagram @revsummerjoy
Facebook @presenceproject

A More Holy Version of “It Is What It Is”

In this age of information and hyper-connectivity, I (Gem) often feel pressure to post all my grand exploits on social media. It can be tempting to think that everything we do is noteworthy (at best) or that we are the center of the universe (at worst).

 

We can feel the need to impress everyone around us at all times. There can be pressure to prove our lives have meaning, or that we are cool or funny or well traveled or interesting or . . . You get the idea.

 

This can be exhausting. Is it really possible for anyone to sustain a life where every day at least one amazing thing (sometimes more) happens that is worth telling hundreds of people about?

 

Sometimes it’s nice just to do something and not tell anyone. Like the old days when phones were stuck to the wall and there were no answering machines.

 

We used to be able to do things and not tell anyone unless it came up in our conversation with someone. You would bake a juicy berry pie and not feel compelled to take a photo of it. You would just sit down together after dinner and eat it, the only evidence being the purple stains on your teeth.

 

Adele Calhoun, in her book Spiritual Disciplines Handbook, defines secrecy as “practicing the spirit of Christ reflected in hiddenness, anonymity, lack of display and the holding of confidences.”

 

Calhoun goes on to say, “Jesus was totally free. He gave gratuitously and graciously. He did not look for a return. He played to an audience of One—His Father. Secrecy stems from the desire to share confidences with God—to play to an audience of One.”

 

Secrecy can be a kind of fasting from attention for notoriety as well as a furthering of our intimacy with God.

 

A mentor of mine once said to me, “Don’t share everything. Some things, if shared, can lose their potency.” Things can be stripped of meaning when they are thrown to the wind for everyone to admire and comment on. Sometimes it is better to just let it be.

 

We often hear people use the phrase “it is what it is.” I haven’t always been sure I like that phrase, as it can lead to inaction or resignation. However, when it comes to secrecy, “it is what it is” is exactly what we are looking for. We can do something wonderful, amazing, self-sacrificing, or even mundane and not tell anyone.

 

It is what it is before God. He alone sees it. Our secret draws us closer and the potency remains.

 

There are many ways to practice the spiritual discipline of secrecy. One simple way is to be mindful of our time spent on social media and how the use of it may affect our hearts or the hearts of others.

 

The next time you have the urge to post something on your favorite social media app, try this: 

Leave your phone in your pocket.
Stay focused on what is happening.
If you are with people, really enjoy the moment in their presence.
If you are alone, let the moment lead you into conversation with God and bond you to Him even further.

 

And don’t forget to thank God for this opportunity . . . this moment of beauty . . . this wonderful connection with your friends or family . . . or even a juicy piece of berry pie.

 

Photo by Erol Ahmed on Unsplash

Podcast 186: 10,000 Minutes (Alan with Tim Timmons) (Summer of Unhurried Favorites)

Over the summer, we are sharing ten episodes of our podcast we’re calling “Unhurried Favorites.” Today we’re sharing “10,000 Minutes: Following Jesus All Week Long” with recording artist Tim Timmons. In this episode, Tim and I talk about what it looks like to follow Jesus day-by-day, moment-by-moment. We talk about some of the holy rhythms and habits that have helped Tim cultivate this way of living and walking with Jesus.

 

We also wanted to let you know that beginning in September, Unhurried Living will give birth to a brand-new podcast, called “I Can Do That!” and it will be hosted by [Gem/me]. [Gem will/I’ll] help you see the big picture and take your next step so you can transform hopes into habits. In each episode [she’ll/I’ll] share one practical idea, with one simple takeaway. [Alan/I] will host the Unhurried Living Podcast. [He/I] will continue to interview fellow authors on themes related to An Unhurried Life. He’ll also share round table discussions with members of the Unhurried Living community on the values and practices of unhurried leadership.

 

Immersed in Life

Years ago, I (Alan) wrote the thoughts below in my journal while traveling with my friend Roman on a train from Ryazan to Moscow to walk that city together. I was in Russia there to spend some days with Roman, who mentors leaders throughout the former Soviet republics. That evening I took a bullet train to St. Petersburg, where I led a two-day conference on the theme of An Unhurried Life for Christian leaders coming from all over the Asian Continent. What an honor it was to share simple truth that has served me so well over many years.

 

Wherever I go around the world, I’m continually impressed with just how hurried people are. But Jesus invites us to take time to walk with him and work with him. His is such a gracious, loving pace. He has all the time we need with him, and as we journey alongside him, we find that we have time to notice the people who cross our paths. The best life is unhurried enough to realize what is real and what is unreal, unhurried enough to practice the presence of God wherever we are and wherever we go.

 

In my journal entry on the train to Moscow, I was drawn again to that wonderful passage of Paul’s in Romans 6:11-14:

 

“In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness. For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.”

 

These are the operative truths rooted in the reality of our baptism. As Paul says, “Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life” (vv. 3-4).

 

I spent my first many years as a follower of Jesus in Baptist churches (or Baptist-flavored fellowships). What strikes me now, looking back, is that I largely thought of baptism as a wonderful beginning but not so much an ongoing life. Baptism is immersion into water (it is for Baptists anyway), but this new life we now live is an immersion into the resurrection of Jesus. We died with him, were buried with him, and now live a new, fresh life in him. That is a reality for today and every day. It is the vitality of God’s grace, the essential air I breathe and fuel I burn in life and leadership.

 

Reflection Questions 

How might you enjoy the reality of your immersion into Jesus today?
Where do you need to remember that there are old ways to which you are dead and buried? Where do you need to remember that the grace of new life is present with you—in you—now?
How do you want to acknowledge these things in the way you live this day?

 

Photo by Sime Basioli on Unsplash