Alan Fadling's Blog, page 49

UL Podcast 192: Emotionally Healthy Discipleship (Pete Scazzero)

 

Hey friends. Welcome to episode 192 of the Unhurried Living Podcast.  We're hopeful that our time together will help you rediscover an unhurried way of life and leadership. Today we are sharing a conversation with Pete Scazzero about his latest book, Emotionally Healthy Discipleship. ⁠

⁠When we launched the podcast in Spring 2017, Pete was among our first guests. I wanted to talk with him about his earlier book, The Emotionally Healthy Leader because I had just finished my final draft of An Unhurried Leader. I was encouraged and grateful for so many intersecting insights in what he’d written. ⁠

After leading New Life Fellowship Church for 26 years, Pete co-founded Emotionally Healthy Discipleship, a groundbreaking ministry that moves the church forward by slowing the church down in order to multiply deeply changed leaders and disciples. Pete hosts the top-ranked Emotionally Healthy Leader Podcast and is the author of a number of bestselling books. Pete and his wife, Geri, remain vital members of New Life Fellowship Church in Queens, NY.

ICDT Podcast 1: I Can Do That!

 

Welcome to the first episode of ICDT! I’m glad you’re leaning in right from the beginning! I’m looking forward to growing together!

 

The energy that gave birth to this podcast really emerged from my own need for keeping things simple. Life can, of course, be complicated. But we can learn to nurture an unhurried heart. We can adjust our inner pace so that we become responders rather than reactors to the flurry around us. I’m so looking forward to walking with you week by week as we explore this together.

 

So, let’s begin at the beginning, with the very title of this podcast: What does I can do that mean and how will it help?

 

ICDT Podcast 3: I Don't Have Time for This!

 

“I don’t have time for this!” I gritted my teeth and barked at my then 5-year-old son. I was in a hurry to get somewhere and my son had forgotten his shoes in the house. He ran to get them as I fumed. 

 

As I pulled out of the driveway, my exclamation haunted me, I don’t have time for this? I was a stay-at-home mom at the time. If I didn’t have time to care for my sons, what in the world did I have time for? That moment began a work in my heart to change my orientation to time.

 

Today, on the I Can Do That Podcast,  we’ll gain a refreshed vision of time…one that doesn’t leave us feeling pressured.

 

Collaborating with God in Christ

There are many passages in Paul’s letters that I’ve sometimes been tempted to gloss over. In those places where he lists a bunch of people I don’t know and offers a quick word for each of them, I don’t always see the connection with my own experience. However, one such passage has become a home for my soul. It is found in the second chapter of Paul’s letter to his friends in Philippi. (You can read Philippians 2:19–30 online here).

 

Awhile back I was reading these verses and was drawn to the times where Paul uses one of his favorite phrases: “in the Lord.” It seems like shorthand for how he seeks to live his life and do his work at home in the presence of God. Here are three ways he uses these three little words to talk about his experience and intentions:

 

“I hope in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you soon” (v. 19). Paul could have simply said, “I’m going to send Timothy your way soon.” Instead, Paul hopes “in the Lord” that Jesus will open a door for Timothy to visit Paul’s friends in Philippi and bring back news that will encourage his heart.  Paul isn’t operating on his own. He sees himself as a collaborator with Jesus in the good work God is doing.

 

“And I am confident in the Lord that I myself will come soon” (v. 24). Paul is humbly optimistic about his intention to make a personal visit to Philippi after Timothy brings back some real-time news. Paul seems certain that Jesus will open a way for such a visit. He isn’t confident in his own resourcefulness or his own plans. Paul expresses confidence in the Good Shepherd who is always going out ahead of him.

 

“Welcome [Epaphroditus] in the Lord with great joy” (v. 29). The Philippian church had sent Epaphroditus to Rome as a helper for Paul, who remained under house arrest. Now Paul is sending him back and wants them to give him a welcome that is rooted in their shared communion with Christ. When we have Jesus in common with others, we experience a heart hospitality like nowhere else. Because we are consciously aware of Jesus in us and Jesus in the other, we celebrate this shared love and vitality in Christ.

 

Reflection Questions

How is Jesus inviting you to live your life and conduct your work “in Him” today? How is God inviting you to practice the presence of Christ in all you’ll do today? How might this be a source of hope, courage, or joy for you?

Photo by Boris Baldinger on Unsplash

UL Podcast 191: Relaunching the Unhurried Living Podcast

 

Welcome to the Unhurried Living Podcast. You’re invited to listen to leadership conversations that will help you to develop healthy rhythms of rest and work, and to live fuller in friendship with God. We hope this podcast will help you to overcome hurry and make time for what matters most.

Today Alan is offering more about the shape of the podcast moving into the future. He's interviewing an author or sharing a leadership roundtable. He's just sharing his heart a bit in hopes that you’ll find fresh encouragement and energy to pursue this way of unhurried living relentlessly.

Podcast 191: Relaunching the Unhurried Living Podcast

 

Welcome to the Unhurried Living Podcast. You’re invited to listen to leadership conversations that will help you to develop healthy rhythms of rest and work, and to live fuller in friendship with God. We hope this podcast will help you to overcome hurry and make time for what matters most.

Today Alan is offering more about the shape of the podcast moving into the future. He's interviewing an author or sharing a leadership roundtable. He's just sharing his heart a bit in hopes that you’ll find fresh encouragement and energy to pursue this way of unhurried living relentlessly.

How To Listen Well

Have you ever been talking with someone, and as they listened, you felt like you were the only person in the room? The listener had no sense of needing to be elsewhere. They had no sense of needing to interrupt you. They simply listened. How did that feel?

 

On the other hand, have you ever been chatting with someone and you could tell they were only half listening? The look in their eyes told you that they were thinking about something else. They gave off a sense of urgency that they needed or wanted to be getting something else done. How did that feel?

 

“Being listened to is so close to being loved that most people cannot tell the difference.” (David Augsburger)

 

One of the greatest gifts we can give to another is our undivided presence. We will become memorable in people’s lives if we begin to listen without distraction, because not many people do. As David Augsburger points out, listening is one of the ultimate ways to show love. It demonstrates focus, attention, and care.

 

“The first service that one owes to others in the fellowship consists in listening to them. Just as love to God begins with listening to His Word, so the beginning of love for the brethren is learning to listen to them. (Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together)

 

What would it look like for you to slow down your inner pace as you converse with someone else? Here are a few ways you can practice being present and listening to another person:

 

Begin to quiet your mind as you listen. We all have distractions, but begin to practice setting aside your own inner whirlwind for a bit. Let the life of the person in front of you come to center stage. Quiet your own mind and tune in to what they are saying. Be at rest in their presence.

 

Let God’s love for the person enter into your heart. This is the time for empathy. Remind yourself that this person is loved by God exactly as they are. Let His reality become yours. As you listen, let your heart fill with love for them. Whatever they share, you know that God is already there. God is accomplishing His work in their life (even if they don’t know it). You can become a conduit for God’s love by opening yourself to Him as you listen.

 

Resist the temptation to problem-solve. It is easy for us to move directly into problem-solving or advice-giving mode. Watch out for this tendency. Most people truly just need to be heard. As they are talking things out, they often stumble upon their own solution. Even if they don’t, your humble, listening ear is still a gift they may not find anywhere else. Don’t rob them of the beauty of simply sharing their life.

 

Think about what God might have on His heart for the person. Listening to the person and at the same time listening to God—this is an art form we can learn. As you listen, remain open to the heart of God. How might God feel toward this person? What might God desire for their life?

 

Respond with invitations and questions. When you respond, try to do so in a way that shows you really heard them. Let your response be filtered through the question “What would God desire for them?” For example, you could replace “You know what you should do…” with “What is God inviting you to in this situation?” Then give them space to thoughtfully respond.

 

Obviously, there are different levels of conversation that we have with many people throughout the day. You can adapt these ideas to any level of conversation with friends, family, and coworkers. Even a casual exchange with the cashier at the grocery store can be an opportunity to practice being present, engaging with them, listening well, and offering up a silent prayer for them.

 

The practice of listening can teach us to slow down inside, to focus our thoughts, to be humble and defer to others as they share. Listening can help us learn that we do not always have to be “on” or fix other people. The Lord Himself is working His own processes in each of our lives. We can learn to be true friends, mentors, and influencers as we cooperate with Him.

 

“The Sovereign Lord has given me a well-instructed tongue, to know the word that sustains the weary. He wakens me morning by morning, wakens my ear to listen like one being instructed. The Sovereign Lord has opened my ears.” (Isaiah 50:4–5a)

 

Reflection 

How might you practice this kind of listening today?
Who are the people in your life who could use this kind of presence?
Peace to you today as you listen well to others.

 

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

Podcast 190: Looking Back with Gratitude (Alan and Gem)

 

As the old adage says, “Laughter is the Best Medicine.” And we completely agree. And we’d like to propose that you could replace the word “laughter” with the word “gratitude” and the phrase still works. Gratitude is such good medicine, and we’re going to enjoy a big, heaping helping of it today.

Whenever we lead a retreat, one of the holy rhythms we’ve practiced for years is ending them with focused reflection. One of these practices we call “Looking Back, Looking Ahead.” We offer our retreatants the opportunity to pause, reflect and think back over our retreat together with questions like these in mind: “How did God meet you? What invitations surfaced? What are you thankful for? What will life be like going forward?” 

Looking back with gratitude and forward with hope is a great spiritual practice. Hurry runs past gratitude at its peril. 

This is the last episode of the Unhurried Living Podcast as you’ve known it over the last four years. We are turning a corner and starting something new. We’ve shared more details about this in our last two episodes (listen in if you missed them). You’ll still be able to tune in right here to engage Leadership Conversations with Alan. Gem will be moving over to her new podcast called I Can Do That! which airs on September 13. 

Because of all this, we're taking time today to look back in gratitude and look ahead with hope. 

Cultivating the Way of Blessing

Watching television or social media news feeds has been so painful lately. So much conflict. So many harsh words. So many accusations and insults. When was the last time you heard a good word—a word of blessing?

 

It’s made me (Alan) think that it would be so helpful for us as a culture to rediscover the language of blessing. I’m not just talking about praying before meals or the pastor saying some nice words at the end of a service. Words of blessing are just nice words to make people feel O.K. They are so much more.

 

I’m talking about speaking words of substantial goodness to one another that actually bring blessing.

 

I’ve learned a lot over the years about the power of blessing—especially of spoken blessing. Read these lines from Psalm 144 that demonstrate prayerful blessings:

 

Reflection: Psalm 144:12-15 (NRSV)  

May our sons in their youth
      be like plants full grown,
our daughters like corner pillars,
      cut for the building of a palace.
May our barns be filled
      with produce of every kind;
may our sheep increase by thousands,
      by tens of thousands in our fields,
      and may our cattle be heavy with young.
May there be no breach in the walls, no exile,
      and no cry of distress in our streets.
Happy are the people to whom such blessings fall;
      happy are the people whose God is the Lord.

 

I love these lines. Notice how many of them begin with the word may. They are not merely personal. They are not just “me” prayers but “us” prayers. They are wishes for robust life, real beauty, great abundance and wealth, and protection from every source of real harm.

 

How to Bring Blessing to Others 

What blessing do I want to pray for the good of my family, my friends, my community, my nation? Here are some that came to mind:

 

May the men and women who are joining us in the work of Unhurried Living experience great healing and health of body, soul, mind, and spirit.
May our every need be met and may the desire in our hearts to do good in honor of Christ’s kingdom be blessed beyond imagination.
May opportunities for spiritually fruitful, kingdom-focused ministry open to each of us.
May our families hear the clear invitation of your Spirit to seek you, God, and may we give you first priority in everything we do.
May our next decade be a season of recovering whatever the locusts have eaten in the past.
May we know deep peace, abounding joy, boundless love, and holy power in our lives and in our work.
May you bring to each of us healing not only of body but also of mind, relationships, and vision. May we see you and your ways more clearly than we ever have.
May you grant us clear vision and focused energy to work toward that vision together.
May your Spirit enable us to resist every empty distraction and instead fix our eyes on Jesus, setting our hearts and minds on what is above every merely human concern.
May we discern your heart and mind so that we might live our lives in the light of who you are and what you are saying.
May we be as carefree in heart and mind as the birds that I hear outside my window. They simply trust that you will care for them day by day. May we trust you to care for us as well.
May you grant our authors a great and holy resolve in the steady, stable, persistent, creative work of writing for the sake of others.
May we grow in holy boldness that leans into and steps through the fears that would prevent us from entering more deeply into your kingdom purposes for us.
May we discern ways in which we resist holy change so that we might overcome unholy immunity and embark on the sorts of change you wish for each of us and all of us together.

 

Amen.

 

Reflection Questions 

Where are you feeling a need for blessing in your own life? If God were to speak words of blessing over you, what might those words be?
As you look around you, where is blessing needed? Who is one person you could meet with, call, email, or text to offer some heartfelt words of blessing? When might you do that?

 

Photo by Andrew Ridley on Unsplash

Podcast 189: Relaunching the Unhurried Living Podcast (Gem interviews Alan)

Last week, we shared the news that we’ll be launching a new podcast with Gem as host. It will be called “I Can Do That!”  We will also be relaunching the Unhurried Living podcast with Alan as host. You’ll get a chance to listen in on leadership conversations that will help you rediscover the genius of following Jesus’ unhurried way of life and leadership. Gem and Alan are looking forward to sharing more about this with you on today.

It’s hard to believe that Unhurried Living has been producing this podcast for more than four years now. It was among our first offerings when we launched Unhurried Living in 2016.  Earlier this year, it became clear that our one podcast was coming to a point of organic expansion. One podcast needed to become two. We both have felt that this is a way of serving leaders like you who have been with us on this five-year journey so far.  

Thank you for being with us on this journey... and with us as we move into this a new season.