Niall Doherty's Blog, page 205
November 18, 2016
Momentos: November 1st – November 15th, 2016
Spanish lesson with a guy in Venezuela, via Skype. Forty minutes we talk. He’s a trained engineer, but inflation is so out of control there that he’s better off teaching Spanish online, pulling in $800/month compared to $50/month for his average countryman. He’s doing a run to the Colombian border this weekend, can buy rice there at a third the price.
2.
Doing a presentation and two workshops in a couple of weeks at the co-working space here in Puerto de la Cruz. And yesterday I landed a spot as a speaker at Nomad City next month. I’ll be up in front of 100+ people at the latter, easily the biggest crowd I’ll have addressed. As per Psycho-Cybernetics, I’ve started practicing positive visualization.
3.
A friend told me recently that the girl he was dating criticized him for crying. Second time he cried in front of her, she told him she never wanted to see that again. In her world, men aren’t supposed to cry. Well fuck that. In my world, a man who cries is a man who expresses himself freely. He’s healthy and alive and experiencing the full spectrum of human emotions. It’s your life, dude; cry when you want to. It’s not your tears that need to go, it’s the people who have a problem with them.
4.
Trying to be more conscious of my thinking when I’m doing things like walking to the supermarket, washing the dishes, taking a shower. How can I use that thinking time more effectively? What problems can I work on solving? What visualizations can I practice? Not that letting the mind wander is a bad thing. But ideally it would be a conscious choice, not a random occurrence.
5.
Cheat day. Didn’t have one last week because I didn’t earn it. Making up for it now. Maybe too much. As a friend said to me recently, why is junk food seen as a treat or reward anyway? It tastes good in the moment, sure, but you feel like shit soon after. Wrecked tired this evening and all that crap I put in my body surely had something to do with it.
Getting the work day started at Coworking in the Sun
6.
Back in college I ran into a blind pick during a basketball game and fractured my eye socket. At home that night I tried to blow my nose and a big bag under my eye inflated with snot. Disgusting, I know. That was twelve years ago, but I still feel the fracture sometimes, especially when swimming. Water gets up my nose and seeps in behind my eye. Probably not a good thing.
7.
A year ago in Amsterdam I saw a guy get up on stage and tell a story about his nine “friends with benefits.” Which would have been very inappropriate and in poor taste, except for the fact that he was gay. Interesting though, right? A straight guy telling that story would be labeled a dick. A straight woman telling that story would be labeled a slut. But when the teller is gay, it’s all okay.
8.
You stand in the shower, avoiding the water, waiting for it to get warm, even though you know there’s no hot water and it’ll stay cold no matter how long you wait. But you wait a while anyway. And then you say fuck it and duck your head under and it’s shocking at first but then you get used to it and it’s not as bad as you thought it would be.
9.
The thing that disheartens me most about Trump becoming US president isn’t the man himself. It’s his supporters. To be sure, not all of them are small-minded, misogynistic, xenophobic racists, but seems to me that all the small-minded, misogynistic, xenophobic racists voted for him. Now that their man won, they’ll be emboldened, hateful beliefs justified.
10.
Been thinking of a night in Kathmandu a few years back, walking home from the cinema having seen The Dark Knight Rises. I felt a sense of urgency, responsibility, like I needed to do more, be better. Because there are people in this world – real-life Banes – working hard to bully and destroy and separate. We need more real-life Batmans to counter them.
Epic balcony at the apartment I’m subletting in Tenerife. Thanks Ben and Anita!
11.
Moved apartment yesterday, subletting a nice place from some friends now. Have it all to myself, with a shared pool in the middle of the complex. I’m still not a great swimmer, working at it. Gonna try get in there every day for the next few weeks, battle through the pain period.
12.
Worst day I’ve had in a while, sitting around the apartment, Netflix bingeing, eating shit. Told myself I wouldn’t fall into that today, but did anyway. Maybe I need days like this every so often. Or maybe it’s self-sabotage, feeling unworthy and undeserving at some fundamental level. I don’t know. Will try again tomorrow.
13.
I wonder if it’s a good thing to be living alone again. Having roommates the past couple of weeks motivated me to stay active, forced me to be social. Too easy while living alone to laze on the couch and not interact with anyone, for hours or even days at a stretch.
14.
Bouncing back strong today, as I usually do. Solid few hours of work, a coaching call, hour-long Spanish class on Skype, great progress in the pool, finished editing a video, and been fasting since breakfast. Shouldn’t need to scrape bottom first though to rock days like this.
15.
About thirty people showed up for my presentation this evening at Coworking in the Sun. Went well. Really thankful for the speaking practice I’ve had over the years. Toastmasters of course, the few times I’ve tried stand-up and improv, the many podcast interviews and videos I’ve done. All added up to keep the quiver out of my voice.
Presentation at Coworking in the Sun. Thanks to everyone who came along 
November 2, 2016
Momentos: October 16th – October 31st, 2016
Last night I was on my way to meet someone, running late. I sat there waiting for a tram, stressing about the lateness, somehow forgetting the fact that I was back in Amsterdam, that my favorite city lay sparkling in front of me. Finally I copped it, my shoulders relaxed, my breath deepened, and once again all was right in my world.
17.
Often while traveling you encounter other cultures handling things in different ways. And sometimes you can see that it’s no better or worse than the way you’re used to; it’s just different, and it works fine for them. Other times, you encounter a culture handling things in different ways, and it’s simply fucked up and wrong.
18.
We go for a walk in the park, hand-in-hand-in-pocket, stopping off to mimic statue poses, and mess around in the playground. Big kids, the two of us. Always fun with her. And bittersweet, since I’m constantly leaving town – I’ll be on a plane in six hours – leaving her behind. But I’m at peace with that, and I think she is too.
19.
There’s a saying in business that most companies hire too fast and fire too slow. Similar with me and friendship. I make friends quick and easy, but take far too long to cut toxic “friends” loose. Let someone go today, should have done it much earlier. Final straw was a casual insult he threw my way, and realizing that I’d gained zero value from being connected to him all these years.
20.
My sublet here in Berlin is ending a week earlier than expected, so moved my flight to Tenerife forward and will be heading there on Tuesday. Berlin has been okay, but only okay. Doubt I’ll be back next summer. If I’m going to have a home base (or two), it should be some place I love living.
Amsterdam. Still beautiful.
21.
Describing my daily routine, and he’s a bit taken aback by how disciplined I am. “How aren’t you a millionaire already?” This coming from a guy who’s making six figures a year online. I laugh at his question, though I ask myself the same thing sometimes. Thought I’d be much further along financially by now. But hey, at least I’m taking the scenic route.
22.
I’ve often felt nostalgic when leaving a place, thinking how this may be the last time I cycle past that church, or climb those steps, or visit that cafe. Not the same significance here in Berlin though. Feeling indifferent towards this city. That said, it’s been good to me. Met some great people, had some nice times.
23.
You ever think that there may be something out there you’ve yet to try – some sport or activity, maybe even a job or a musical instrument – that you’re destined to love? Something transformative. You’d try it one time and think to yourself, “How haven’t I done this before? This is it! This is what I was born to do!” I reckon there’s something like that out there for everyone.
24.
My most productive month this year, by far, was January. Had a tight deadline to finish the content for 3M1K and get the thing launched, and the only way I was able to do it was by not checking email or Facebook before 6pm every day. You’d think I would have kept that habit, but no, fell right back into distraction mode in February. Cal Newport’s latest is pulling me out again.
25.
Tenerife is a big island. So big it takes 90 minutes for the bus trip from the airport to my new home town of Puerto de la Cruz. And I step off that bus into a tropical rainstorm, get drenched going to pick up keys and finding the apartment. But I’ve got a big stupid smile on my face all the while.
Hike to Punto de Teno in Tenerife. Thanks to Sonja for the photo
October 21, 2016
Momentos: October 1st – October 15th, 2016
Three words: freedom of expression. Been thinking a lot about that recently. Why not tell that guy you like his shirt? Why not bop along to the music in your ears while walking down the street? Why not tell that girl she looks cute? What consequences do we fear? Most of them aren’t real. The rest aren’t likely. What’s holding us back?
2.
8:04pm, alone in the apartment, on the couch with my feet up, computer on my lap. It’s quiet in here, dark outside. The remains of a cup of tea beside me, some camera equipment, a tissue with blood on it, my backpack, a chopping board shaped like a pig. It’s quiet in here, dark outside.
3.
Spent the past eight hours hammering away at the redesign for this very website. Fasting today, so only had quick breaks for tea and pee and that was it. The hours slipped on by, hardly noticed them, in a trance with the machine.
4.
Sam Harris and William MacAskill in my ears, talking about effective altruism, moral illusions, existential risk, and other mind-bending topics. “If you’re listening to this, you’re probably in the top 10% of wealthiest humans on the planet. And if you earn more than $55k a year, you’re in the top 1%.”
5.
The biggest regrets we have in life are usually the things we don’t do, the chances we don’t take. I have to remind myself of this regularly, because it’s so much easier to be passive, to keep your mouth shut, to stay where you are. So much easier… but only in the short term. Remember: playing it safe is the riskiest thing you can do.
New wheels 
September 30, 2016
Momentos: September 16th – September 30th, 2016
On a flight to Belgrade, you ask if you can sit in business class (no), you ask for a tour of the cockpit (no), you ask the fidgety lady beside you if she’s okay (kinda). On the bus from the airport, you ask people how to say hello and thank you in Serbian (zdravo, hvala). At the hostel, you ask to check in two hours early (yes) and if you can climb out on the roof to look at the view (yes).
17.
A driver named Pavel is waiting for me at Boryspil airport, my name on a sign. He doesn’t speak much English, loves Chris de Burgh, greatest hits playing as we speed towards Kyiv. A certain song comes on and I hear a sniffle, look over and see Pavel wiping a tear. Once upon a time, a lady in red must have broken his Ukranian heart.
18.
19.
Jesus Christ, Kiev. $35 for a three-course meal for three at one of the finest restaurants in town. $8 for a zip line across the river. $0.15 takes you to any metro stop in the city. And all the while you’re getting whiplash from the abundance of beautiful women roaming around. Was thinking Berlin every summer, but this place has me thinking twice.
20.
Wheels just left the tarmac in Belgrade, five-day trip at an end. Eyes heavy and brain foggy after it all. Like the weather outside. Taking a breath… gratitude… remember. Had adventures, met people, ate well, stayed healthy. Above the clouds now, cotton wool carpet below. A pretty girl serving me orange juice. Tis a privileged life I lead.
Serbians don’t forbid you to walk in dangerous places. They just want you to know that if you do, you might die.
21.
Paid a German lady €120 today to shoot a laser at my face in an attempt to remove a couple of warty things that’d been bugging me for a while. Vain, I know. Was thinking not to mention it here but it’ll be in my next finance report anyway so might as well. Which is part of what I like about those reports. They force me to be more honest, more accountable.
22.
Starting to get a bit chilly now in Berlin. But not to worry: booked flights to Tenerife yesterday. Will be heading there November 1st, planning to stay through the winter, get some good work done, improve my Spanish, learn to surf, try get a proper tan for the first time in my life. Should be a good spot for shooting a few videos too.
23.
Doing this 90 Day Money Game with the 3M1K crew, and I set myself a goal of $45,000 in proposals by the end of November. Started slow the past couple of weeks but spent this afternoon submitting three proposals worth a total of $8,200. Back in the saddle again.
24.
What do you do when you’ve arranged to meet someone at a certain time and it’s ten minutes after and there’s no sign? I used to stick it out, would always bring a book so I wouldn’t mind waiting. No big deal, I’d say when they finally showed. But it is a big deal. It’s disrespecting my time, the ultimate non-renewable resource. I’m not waiting around anymore.
25.
Scrolling through my Facebook feed today and I see a pic from one 3M1K member exploring Japan, another in Tenerife, and a video from a third paragliding in Nepal. A fourth recently moved to Israel, and there’s an email from a fifth telling me he just landed his first gig at $75/hour. So glad I built that course.
Monday in Kyiv
September 18, 2016
Momentos: September 16th – September 30th, 2016
On a flight to Belgrade, you ask if you can sit in business class (no), you ask for a tour of the cockpit (no), you ask the fidgety lady beside you if she’s okay (kinda). On the bus from the airport, you ask people how to say hello and thank you in Serbian (zdravo, hvala). At the hostel, you ask to check in two hours early (yes) and if you can climb out on the roof to look at the view (yes).
17.
A driver named Pavel is waiting for me at Boryspil airport, my name on a sign. He doesn’t speak much English, loves Chris de Burgh, greatest hits playing as we speed towards Kyiv. A certain song comes on and I hear a sniffle, look over and see Pavel wiping a tear. Once upon a time, a lady in red must have broken his Ukranian heart.
18.
19.
Jesus Christ, Kiev. $35 for a three-course meal for three at one of the finest restaurants in town. $8 for a zip line across the river. $0.15 takes you to any metro stop in the city. And all the while you’re getting whiplash from the abundance of beautiful women roaming around. Was thinking Berlin every summer, but this place has me thinking twice.
20.
Wheels just left the tarmac in Belgrade, five-day trip at an end. Eyes heavy and brain foggy after it all. Like the weather outside. Taking a breath… gratitude… remember. Had adventures, met people, ate well, stayed healthy. Above the clouds now, cotton wool carpet below. A pretty girl serving me orange juice. Tis a privileged life I lead.
Serbians don’t forbid you to walk in dangerous places. They just want you to know that if you do, you might die.
21.
Paid a German lady €120 today to shoot a laser at my face in an attempt to remove a couple of warty things that’d been bugging me for a while. Vain, I know. Was thinking not to mention it here but it’ll be in my next finance report anyway so might as well. Which is part of what I like about those reports. They force me to be more honest, more accountable.
22.
Starting to get a bit chilly now in Berlin. But not to worry: booked flights to Tenerife yesterday. Will be heading there November 1st, planning to stay through the winter, get some good work done, improve my Spanish, learn to surf, try get a proper tan for the first time in my life. Should be a good spot for shooting a few videos too.
23.
Doing this 90 Day Money Game with the 3M1K crew, and I set myself a goal of $45,000 in proposals by the end of November. Started slow the past couple of weeks but spent this afternoon submitting three proposals worth a total of $8,200. Back in the saddle again.
24.
What do you do when you’ve arranged to meet someone at a certain time and it’s ten minutes after and there’s no sign? I used to stick it out, would always bring a book so I wouldn’t mind waiting. No big deal, I’d say when they finally showed. But it is a big deal. It’s disrespecting my time, the ultimate non-renewable resource. I’m not waiting around anymore.
25.
Scrolling through my Facebook feed today and I see a pic from one 3M1K member exploring Japan, another in Tenerife, and a video from a third paragliding in Nepal. A fourth recently moved to Israel, and there’s an email from a fifth telling me he just landed his first gig at $75/hour. So glad I built that course.
Monday in Kyiv
September 15, 2016
Momentos: September 1st – September 15th, 2016
Been planning out my days and weeks more thoroughly on the calendar, and it’s giving me huge peace of mind. Can see very clearly now if I have time to take on more client projects, and having full days blocked out for different activities makes me way more focused and productive. Not sure why I resisted trying this for so long.
2.
Admiralbrücke. Tis a bridge over the Landeswehr Canal in Kruezberg where all the cool kids seem to hang out on a warm evening and drink beer and play music. I drop by with a friend for an hour. It’s a Friday night, solid week of work behind me, tempted to stay longer and be social. But no, been in these situations before. They don’t get me where I want to go.
3.
This morning is my reward. Sitting out front of an empty cafe by 9:30, exercise, meditation and a good breakfast already behind me, a good book in my hand and a cappuccino in front of me. I’ll stay here for four hours, finishing the book, making notes, getting where I want to go. Then I’ll float home, all in love with life like.
4.
Before quitting nightlife, my Sundays would be short and lazy, trying to recover from two late nights and readjust my sleep schedule. Now I try get to bed by 11 every night of the week, and up by 7 every morning. Today, a Sunday, I cycled ten miles, did a tough 90-minute Freeletics workout, followed by a three-hour walking tour. Much more fulfilling than a couple nights out bantering with strangers.
5.
Spent all day writing out a script and a shot list for my next video. Enjoying this kind of work. It’s a nice challenge, pulling a lot of different skills together, and I’ve been pleased with how the last few videos turned out. Not sure if all the time and energy I’m investing is worth it financially, but I’ll keep going for another while regardless.
Stopping off at Gendarmenmarkt on a walking tour of Berlin.
6.
Haven’t been dating at all here in Berlin. Was happy enough the last few weeks to focus on fitness and business. That’s wearing off now methinks. Feeling more of an urge for female attention, female company, that feminine energy. And sex of course. Will have to try get back into the swing of things while still steering clear of bars and such.
7.
There’s a cemetery not far from where my apartment here, 160 years old, the most beautiful cemetery I’ve ever seen. I was there this morning, the sun slanting through the trees, a squirrel on the path and a robin on a headstone. The Brothers Grimm are buried there, and the guy who almost assassinated Hitler. Not a bad place to rest.
8.
7:21am as we hop a high fence into an abandoned amusement park on the outskirts of Berlin. I brought gloves for climbing and pepper for dogs, have my cards hidden in my pack so they can’t ID me if we get caught. We’ll find broken dinosaurs, a rusty roller coaster and a lonely Ferris wheel. And we’ll only have to run once.
9.
Another morning out exploring, hopping fences, shooting video. Very atypical for me as I’m usually a stickler for the routine, but I love that I can shake things up whenever. Rode out on the bike this morning with a big smile on my face, Cat Stevens playing in the soundtrack of my mind, thankful I can do what I want, find a new way, make it all true, make it undo.
10.
I’ve lived almost entirely in cities since moving out of the country homestead at eighteen. I never much liked cities growing up, preferred the quiet and solitude of the sticks. I like them now, with everything available and convenient, especially social interaction. But I suspect I’ll return to the countryside eventually, be surrounded by more green, more animals, fewer people.
Exploring Spreepark, an abandoned amusement park on the outskirts of Berlin.
Thanks to Xavier for the photo. More photos and info about the place here.
11.
At Templehof for the first time, a former airport, now a park. I’m on a yoga mat, under a tree, ten others sweating nearby. I’m probably the least flexible person in the class. The teacher has us release three om’s apiece as we relax in child pose. On the second, a nice chunk of bird shit lands on the mat next to my head. Namaste.
12.
Back in the Thunderdome this morning. Ever since I laid eyes on that thing my goal has been to traverse the “ceiling,” swinging like a monkey. It’s about 30 feet across, 13 feet up. I couldn’t even get a quarter way across six weeks ago. Today I traversed the length of it, easy. All it took was a little consistency. Been in there 21 mornings since I found it. Baby steps get you places.
13.
Published that video last night. Getting some nice compliments on it, and it’s generating some decent subscribes and social media attention. The best part about that whole video project though was that it was entirely self-directed. I came up with the idea and was able to spend several days making it happen. Autonomy. It floats my boat.
14.
They have this thing in California called Equine Therapy. First you choose a horse, and the horse you choose says a lot about you. Then you have to move your horse from one end of the field to the other without touching him. The way to do it is to lead assertively and he’ll follow. If you doubt yourself at all, maybe look back to see if he’s still coming, he senses your doubt and quits following.
15.
Got a big long email today, asking me to explain myself on a bunch of topics. Why are you so focused on business and money? Why do you live such a solitary lifestyle? Why are you so self-scrutinizing? That kind of thing. And I could reply back, but the older I get, the less I feel the urge to justify how I live my life. I’m very content most of my days. I wonder can the people asking these questions say the same.
Training for Strong Viking Brother Edition 2016. One month to go!
Posted by Niall Doherty on Thursday, 15 September 2016
Jeremy Weyman, are you ready??
P.S. The place in the video is the "Thunderdome" you may have heard me mention a few times. It's in a little exercise park near my apartment, open all hours and free for anyone to use.
In the comments below, let me know which of the above Momentos is your favorite. Which can you relate to?
September 12, 2016
Win A Copy Of The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck
Enter the giveaway below.
The more entries you rack up, the better chance you have to win.
September 1, 2016
Momentos: August 16th – August 31st, 2016
Trying to get past that habitual urge to do everything myself. I’ve long found it tough to let go and outsource and collaborate. But sometimes you realize that the actions and beliefs that have gotten you so far have become the very actions and beliefs stopping you from going any further.
17.
Couple of Skype calls today with other web devs. Amazing what you can learn by reaching out to peers and role models and asking if they wouldn’t mind sharing some insights. But asking, listening, taking notes… that’s easy enough. The tough part is taking that new-found knowledge and putting it into practice. What actions will I take as a result of those calls today?
18.
Giving the nightlife a rest for a while, having concluded that it’s a poor way to get my social fix. Wrecks my sleep pattern, and I rarely meet the kind of people I want to meet in bars and clubs. Going to try be more social with exercise instead, on the lookout for some group yoga sessions, might dabble in a few new physical pursuits.
19.
The Olympics are happening. You’re probably hearing names you’ve never heard before, stars are being born. But consider this: there are athletes elsewhere in the world right now, not in these Olympics. They’re training hard for the next. Endless mornings in empty gyms, four more years of sweat, toil and sacrifice before we’ll know their names.
20.
In bed by ten last night, up before seven this morning, a Saturday. Cycled to the park in the rain, stretched, did some balance work, stopped to watch the rabbits on the way home, then to a quiet cafe for some deep work, strategizing. Felt good, foregoing the cheap thrills, avoiding the self-sabotage, being kind to my future self.
Vegan donut time with Justin P. Moore, he of The Lotus and the Artichoke
21.
There’s a great little place in Berlin where you can get a baked potato with a truckload of toppings for just €4. There this evening, sitting across from a legend of lady who started a quiet revolution, talking about drugs and dance and God and what we wish more men understood about women and vice versa.
22.
A friend forwarded me along a great email from Primoz today, all about how to connect with and befriend people you’d like to have in your life. It’s pretty simple actually, just two steps (emphasis mine):
Add value to someone you know by doing something others wouldn’t do for them.
Keep doing this consistently over time until (and after) you build a strong relationship.
23.
Sat down this morning and planned out the next four weeks. I’ll be visiting Dublin, Belgrade, Kiev, and hosting a few visitors here in Berlin. I blocked out days for client work, days for shooting video, days for editing, and so on. With that done it’s easier to see what more I have time for, how much more I can afford to say yes to.
24.
Starting a new thing with the 3M1K crew: The 90 Day Money Game. I’m aiming for $15k by the end of November, which means $45k in proposals. Scary shit. Waiting on Skype today for a prospective client to come online for a call, found a part of myself wanting him to no-show. Easier that way. Let’s me off the hook. But he showed, and a better part of me is glad he did.
25.
Above a pub on the south bank of the Liffey, something special is happening, a celebration of feminine art and creativity. Eight ladies take turns speaking, dancing, sharing poetry. None trying to make an impression, all striving for free expression. I believe everyone has a masculine and a feminine side. Tonight, my feminine is aglow.
Howth Head on a spectacular Saturday
26.
Ten out of ten contentment today. Rambling around Dublin, exploring, shooting video, banter with strangers, a playful vibe. Coffee with a 3M1Ker, lunch with a new friend. A wander through St. Stephen’s, up and down Grafton, winning several smiles. A kind note from my host, a warm welcome from family. A day in the life of a lucky man.
27.
Out at Howth Head, a beautiful spot in this small country – my small country – that I’d never been to before. Yellow gorse, purple heather, green grass, blue sky, white sails. People walking happy dogs and gulls floating on the breeze. Been around the world and seen places my countrymen will never see, but here on the island they’ve all seen more than me.
28.
When you’re tired, the best thing you can do is take a nap, or get to bed early and have a good long sleep. But when you’re tired, willpower is lacking, and so you’re more likely to make poor decisions. Example: instead of going to bed, you laze around watching Netflix, maybe stay up late to watch a few more episodes. And then you’re wrecked again the next day.
29.
A friend is traveling around Europe right now. Someone wrote on his Facebook, “I envy you so much it’s ridiculous.” I don’t know that person’s situation, but I know my friend’s. He worked 14-hour shifts at a hospital for a year and banked $100k. Now he’s doing whatever he wants. No big secret, no magic bullet. Work hard, make it happen.
30.
Back into my routine in Berlin, back in the dome at 7am this morning, hang strength has dipped a bit thanks to the few days without training. Catching up on client projects and other bits and pieces the rest of the day. Squeezed in the nap and a good bit of reading. Now I’m on hold with the fraud department of a credit card company in the US.
31.
Growing fond of this city. Strolling around the neighborhood this eve after another solid work day, a friend crashing at my place treated me to gnocchi alfresco, then to the park at dusk, plenty of peaceful people buzzing about, stumbled across a concert in the open air, the scene rich with satisfied smiles and an orange glow under the fading sky.
Sunset in Berlin
In the comments below, let me know which of the above Momentos is your favorite. Which can you relate to?
August 17, 2016
Momentos: August 1st – August 15th, 2016
A little before 8am at Hotel Casa 400. I’m laying in bed, she’s in the bathroom, getting ready for the day. She’s listening to some comedy show on her phone, in a language I don’t understand. And she’s laughing. I love that laugh. I love when she’s happy. She deserves to be happy. I’m leaving again tomorrow.
2.
Arrived in Berlin this morning. Renting an apartment for half what I was paying in Amsterdam. Filled my belly for €3.50 at a restaurant down the street. I’ll be spending the next three months here, focused on work. Looking forward to getting back into a routine. And living alone again. Four weeks of shared accommodation had me frazzled.
3.
Skype calls this morning with 3M1Kers in Spain, New Zealand and Chile. Then I put together a quote for a prospective client in Germany. Afternoon Skype calls with an assistant in California and an acquaintance in Amsterdam. Then an hour working on projects for clients in Ireland and New Orleans. Just another day at the virtual office.
4.
Lived like a hermit today. Didn’t get outside at all, spent a dozen hours at the work stuff and ate two meals of rice, lentils, veg. A repair guy dropped by to fix the stove and I was on the phone to herself back in Amsterdam for a bit, but no human interaction otherwise. And I’m perfectly content with that. Batteries recharging.
5.
A passage from Progression that rings oh-too-true:
People tend to get intimidated when they meet someone who is “powerful” or “accomplished” – and there’s something to that, but people are people. Almost everyone who does this exercise realizes they don’t reach out enough to people they’ve met who could really help make a big boost in their lives. You’ll want to fix that.
Chilling out at Thai Park in Berlin
6.
Eye glued to the computer screen for most of the past three days, catching up on work, getting back on track, reveling in some much-needed solitude. Today I was out and about for several hours. Found it tough interacting with humans again, social skills atrophied. Like I was a teenage boy and everyone I tried talking to was some hot girl two years my senior.
7.
Negotiating with a large man who doesn’t speak much English. The price is 165. I have to mime a little to communicate my offer of 140, which leaves him room to counter with 150. He counters with 150, I say deal, then check my wallet to find only 145 in there. Ist gut he says, a little too easily, which leaves me wondering if I just bought a lemon.
8.
Getting back to the morning routine good and proper now. Up at 6:45 and straight out the door for a quick run/stretch/workout. Berlin’s another one of those cities with lots of great parks and playgrounds that can serve as a gym. There’s a big outdoor climbing dome a couple of blocks away from me. I was the only one there this morning.
9.
These new-style videos I’m doing are definitely the way to go. Lots more views and shares. But aside from that, it’s just really nice to have them. The skydiving video for example. It took several hours to shoot and edit, but now I’ll always have a fun little video to remind me of the experience. Kinda wish I’d been doing these all throughout my no-fly trip.
10.
On a call with Mark from Authority Hacker, looking over the sales and conversion numbers I crunched for 3M1K. I was about to go ahead and create a 12-part video series to drive more traffic, but he convinced me to check the numbers first. Glad he did. Turns out there are some serious leaks in my funnel that can be plugged pretty easy.
The Thunderdome (aka my workout spot in Berlin)
11.
Didn’t sleep great, something on my mind. Up before six and headed out for some exercise. Skipped the Thunderdome, rode my bike around the nearby parks instead. Went by a windmill, stretched in a playground, stopped to watch the rabbits. It was a beautiful morning, sun shining, warm enough. Everything could be different tomorrow.
12.
Got in that flow state today working on one of my sites. Spent four consecutive hours at it, all in a trance, listening to the one song on repeat, time melting away. I often joke with people that I don’t like having a job, but I do like to work. And it’s true. Work can be a beautiful thing. Even if I had all the money in the world, I’d still want to work.
13.
Four years ago I was stuck in Iran with no access to cash and insufficient funds to leave the country. It turned out to be one of the best times of my life. That whole experience rewired my brain somewhat. Which is why, upon realizing at 2am that I’d lost my keys in the middle of Berlin, I almost began salivating at the potential adventure about to unfold.
14.
Why the hell am I still having late nights out in bars on weekends? I don’t drink, late to bed messes up my regular sleep schedule and leaves me feeling exhausted by the time Monday rolls around, and the type of people I most want to meet and connect with are rarely to be found in such places. Gotta be smarter about my socializing.
15.
Timely passage in Dan Kennedy’s book:
The self-image is the governor, restricting the amount of success allowed. Success cannot exceed sense of deserving. If it does, the person quietly feeling unworthy does something or things to bring it all back into balance. I call this the Success Rejection Syndrome.
Exploring an abandoned NSA spy station with Stephanie Lisa Kelly and Kevin Koskella
In the comments below, let me know which of the above Momentos is your favorite. Which can you relate to?
August 4, 2016
Momentos: July 16th – July 31st, 2016
Tourist day in Berlin, with a girl I’ve now met on three continents. We do the buffet breakfast, visit the Brandenburg Gate, and walk the longest stretch of wall still standing. Later we visit a specific park for reasons I’d best not write about. Everywhere we go there’s a backdrop of graffiti and a soundtrack of street music and the weight of history.
17.
Trying to take after a friend I met in Amsterdam. She’d practice Dutch with anyone and everyone, even me. Didn’t matter that I couldn’t understand a word; she just wanted to get more reps in, get used to those sounds in her mouth. And she was always so fun and pleasant about it that you enjoyed the exchange regardless.
18.
I self-sabotaged this past weekend. Came home from an 80’s dance party at 3am yesterday morning pretty tired yet decided to stay up and watch a movie. Didn’t get to sleep until 7am, and only slept six hours total. Another six last night. Exhausted today, not enough will power in stock to knuckle down and get a good day’s work done. Ugh.
19.
Last day in Berlin. I’ll be in Amsterdam and Ireland the next couple of weeks. Then back here pretty much full-time til November. I do like this town. Lots more digital nomad types about, my rent is half what I was paying in Amsterdam, plenty of cheap places to eat out, and no shortage of things to see and do.
20.
Long hot train ride to Amsterdam, step off and there’s a beautiful woman turning heads in a fresh dress the color of tropical ocean. She’s been waiting for me, the sweaty guy without a home. We’ll go grab food and she’ll ask if I hooked up these past two weeks in Berlin, and I’ll tell her no because I wasn’t looking, but that last part isn’t entirely true.
Bis später, Berlin.
21.
There’s a great scene in the movie Inside Out – you can watch it here – where Sadness comforts Bing Bong not by trying to make him feel better, but by listening and acknowledging and even sharing his sorrow. It’s especially tough for us men to do that methinks, eager as we are to find a quick fix for every pickle. Today I got to practice.
22.
I’ve been moving back towards a veg diet the past few weeks, and Safran Foer’s book is getting me there faster. (Best not read that if you want to keep eating animals. You’ll know too much.) I doubt I’ll ever go full-on vegan again, but I definitely want to cut back, steering especially clear of factory farmed meat and dairy. Which, unfortunately, seems to be the majority of it.
23.
Looking through childhood photos back home. I’m in my mid-thirties now, the same age as my parents in many of those images. It’s an odd feeling, seeing stills of them in their prime, realizing it all goes by in a blink. Tomorrow they’ll be married forty years. My dad remembers life without electricity. We’ll never be here again.
24.
Susan Cain wrote that introverts “may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pajamas.” Those jim-jams fit me perfectly. Lots of social interaction today and it was enjoyable, but also exhausting. On the introvert/extrovert spectrum, I’m definitely left of center.
25.
Something we’re not taught in schools that’s so crucial to good living, is the mindfulness to ask and the ability to answer the question, “How do I know this is true?” The things you read in the newspaper or hear from an expert or see on Facebook or even think in your head… all things that could well be bullshit and lead you astray.
Slightly embarrassing childhood photo found at my parents house.
26.
Reading back over my post three years ago about quitting veganism. I still agree with the points made there, but see now that meat eating is a very slippery slope for me. I call factory farms “an abomination,” and they are, but most of the meat I’ve eaten the past three years has probably been factory farmed. That makes me part of the problem.
27.
Some days I feel like the luckiest dude in the world, mostly because of the people I happen to be related to or friends with. Last night I crashed at my cousin’s house. Today I spent several hours being fed and loved and working from a friend’s place. This evening I moved to another friend’s and will be availing of his spare room for the next week.
28.
We stop on the Blauwbrug and look up along the Amstel, seeing a couple of other brugs lit up nice against the dull night sky. I say something silly and she cracks up. We’ve been laughing all evening, as usual. She makes me laugh more than any girl I’ve dated. Also, more than any girl I’ve dated, my eyes are rarely the only pair upon her on a night out.
29.
Weird situation at that bar meetup tonight. Wasn’t expecting herself to be there. It was nice to see her, but we’re not boyfriend/girlfriend or anything, so I wasn’t sure how to behave. Focus my attention on her, or mix and mingle like I usually do (minus the flirting, of course)? I chose the latter, and it seems that was the wrong choice.
30.
I only met these people fifteen minutes ago. Mike is strapped to my back, our legs dangling approximately three kilometers above the ground. Ruta is clinging to the side of the aircraft, her helmet cam pointed right at us. No countdown, no time to reconsider, Mike jolts us forward and we’re falling at 120mph and it’s hard to breathe.
31.
My friend who’s hosting me has relentless energy, tough to keep up. I need regular downtime, give my brain a rest. Even simple conversation becomes a strain when my batteries are running low. I’m finding it’s best to let the energetic and extroverted types know this in advance, so later they’re not surprised and I don’t appear rude when my lethargic ass is sullen and withdrawn.
Falling from the sky.
In the comments below, let me know which of the above Momentos is your favorite. Which can you relate to?
