Niall Doherty's Blog, page 207

Momentos: October 1st – October 15th, 2015

1.

Spent four hours on a client project today, freelance web dev. That nets me $240 in a single afternoon, pretty good going. That said, I’m phasing out such work so I can focus on creating my own digital products (ebooks and courses). There are plenty of web developers out there who can do what I do, but few people can build what I have in mind.

2.

Sitting, waiting, looking at that magnificent sky with all the red and purple and blue, streaked with jet streams lit up by the day’s last rays. I didn’t bring a book, don’t feel the urge to strike up with the people at the bench alongside. Trying to just sit and do nothing and be okay with that. Noticing my breath, the set of my shoulders, the here and the now.

3.

Mornings are always better at her place. There’s a homely feel, with the good bread and the real butter and the soft old music and a kitten running around. Last night we slept together but didn’t make love, and it felt more intimate somehow. Now it’s time for me to leave. This goodbye will be sweet and gentle. With her it usually is.

4.

Just met this guy, seems we know some of the same people. Almost right away he starts bad-mouthing an acquaintance we have in common. Nothing serious, but enough that I’m left with a less-than-favorable impression… of the mudslinger himself. You always wonder when someone is that quick to talk another down, if they’ll do the same to you once your back is turned.

5.

Yesterday I hit up the Stedelijk. There was a big empty room made of wood, a pile of rocks scattered on the floor, and a massive square of black canvas stretched to the ceiling. This evening I find myself at the Sex Museum. There are big cocks made of wood, a pile of cocks scattered on the floor, and a massive black cock stretched to the ceiling.

Trying to appreciate modern art at the Stedelijk Museum in Amsterdam.

6.

Started hardcore into the course building today. Lots to do before I can launch it in January. The aim will be to take people from zero to $1k/month working online, within three months. That $1k/month mark is magic. Once you can make that much money from your laptop, a whole new world opens up. My goal is to help you get there.

7.

Feeling tired but I push myself to go out for the evening anyway, check out a meetup nearby, drinks after work. I was hoping for a crowd, with a few pretty faces within, but it’s not to be tonight. That’s fine. These people are cool, and I enjoy their company for a couple of hours. Then it’s back home on two wheels through the drizzle.

8.

Energy has been low this week, feeling depleted. Pretty sure I’ve been pushing too hard, expecting too much of myself, and then beating myself up for falling short. Like when a cute girl walks by and I don’t go talk to her, then proceed to self-flagellate for passing up the opportunity. Gotta quit that. Approach or stay. Be at peace either way.

9.

Been a productive day. Made solid progress on the course and got a bunch of annoying admin shit done. Now I’m all clocked out, showered and fresh, on the bike rolling along canals and across bridges, Central Station bound. A girl will be getting off a train in eight minutes or so, and I promised I’d be there on the platform.

10.

I met three men today in Amsterdam. Nate is nineteen from the twin cities, took the leap and moved to Germany to experience life abroad. Richard has been on the road five years, spent one living with hunter-gatherers deep in the jungle. Michael may be on the verge of winning a court battle to see his five-year-old daughter for the first time.

Meeting David Allen, Mr. GTD himself, at a meetup in Amsterdam.

11.

Just spent two hours writing a business plan, as required by my bank before they’ll issue a company credit card. Thing is, I’m pretty sure nobody will ever read those words. They might skim through to make sure it’s complete. But they won’t care what I wrote, just that I wrote something coherent. It’s a filtering mechanism, weeding out the lazy and inept.

12.

Got lots done today, then headed to a Getting Things Done meetup with none other than Mr. David Allen himself. It was a nice, informal affair in the lounge of a five-star, canal-side hotel. The lights were dim, the waiters well-trained, and the tea expensive. We mingled, gathered around the main man, asked a few questions, took some photos.

13.

There’s a slice of sun coming through the front window. I walk over in my fluffy puppy slippers to try get some on skin. Outside the city’s rubbing the sleep out of its eyes. Weather’s turned cold of late but it’s warm in here. In a minute I’ll hear the microwave ding and sit down with a good book for my first meal in twenty-four hours.

14.

Not sure if I mentioned, but I’m writing a book about productivity, almost fifty chapters deep. The idea is to compile and explain all the fundamental concepts of productivity I’ve come across over the years. Yesterday I wrote four chapters, today was a grind so only made it through one. Aiming to have it launched some time before… we’ll see.

15.

Speaking of productivity, the urge to procrastinate was strong in me today. I felt low-energy, distracted, didn’t get done what I had planned. But I didn’t waste the day either, accepted the lull and switched to lower-level stuff, got a bunch of maintenance tasks off my plate. Feels good, getting shit done even on the lazy days.

Sausage sandwich at the Sex Museum :-P

In the comments below, let me know which of the above Momentos is your favorite. Which can you relate to?

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Over Beyond: Episode 002

I sometimes have these big, fascinating, meandering conversations with my cousin and best friend back in Ireland. We decided to record a few and share them with you. Maybe it will become a regular thing.

In this episode we talk about books, beliefs, entrepreneurship, intentions, basketball, dinosaurs, politics, pornography, responsibility, and a bunch of other seemingly unrelated topics.

Have a listen, and let us know what you think.

MP3 download available here (132MB, 1:36:19)

(Check out the podcast archive for previous episodes.)

Reaction Vs. Response

In The Presence Process, author Michael Brown distinguishes between reaction and response:

“Reacting to our experiences means we make decisions based on what we believe happened yesterday and what we think may happen tomorrow. In contrast, we respond to our experiences when we make choices based on what’s happening right here, right now.”

Most people react to situations.

Their actions (or non-actions) are usually unconscious and automatic. Sometimes this is good — like a marital artist trained to instinctively block an attempted strike — but more often it isn’t. Especially in new, unusual or uncomfortable situations, we’re prone to react rather than respond.

This would be a good time to react.

Responding requires us to be more present, more conscious. Our behavior isn’t driven by fear or habit, but by awareness. We decide with a clear head how to handle the situation. There’s no such thing as a knee-jerk response.

Brown noticed a big change when he  began responding to situations instead of reacting:

“This one simple shift in my behavior affected every facet of my experience.”

Think back on the situations you found yourself in today. How did you handle those situations? Were you responding or reacting?

Momentos: September 16th – September 30th, 2015

16.

Inspired by Caroline, I’ve stopped setting a key habit each day and now set a key intention instead. The idea with an intention is to invite something into my life, something beyond my control, like an opportunity or a gift. This morning the intention I wrote down was, “easy money”. Twelve hours later I was offered $100 for a half hour of work. Hmm.

17.

I hand over my papers and wait. In ten minutes I’ll be out of here with a nine-digit number allowing me to reside indefinitely in this safe and liberal city. There are a lot of people in the world who would kill for the same privilege. I have it handed to me with minimal fuss because of where I happened to be born.

18.

Another storytelling night down at Mezrab. I’m holding back for now so as not to distract from the work stuff, but I can see myself getting up and speaking frequently at such events in future. There’s something about live performance, the magic of a story well spoken and well received. With practice, I know I’ll excel at it someday.

19.

Crosswalk green and an old couple step off the curb. The man turns back to wait for his wife, and almost gets mowed down by a young woman blasting between them on her bike. She doesn’t flinch, doesn’t look back, doesn’t give a shit. Two minutes later I’m outside my apartment and see the same lady locking her bike. I feel I should say something, but I don’t.

20.

I wake up after five hours sleep and think fuck it, no way I’m going to meet this guy now. I text apologies and go down for another three hours, awake to sore responses. The man’s not happy. “Your loss,” he writes. But I don’t feel bad. I should never have agreed to meet in the first place, sure, but I didn’t know in advance how exhausted I’d be. Gotta be kind to myself first.

Evening sky in Amsterdam.

21.

The coaching has been going pretty well, have had three clients for a couple of months now and they all seem to be making solid progress. So much of it is just listening and reflecting. You don’t have to have all the answers. Mostly you just have to ask good questions and let them find their own way. It’s different every time.

22.

We talk about dating and I tell him I’ve been a lot more active lately going out and approaching women, but I haven’t been writing much about it. Why not? Because (a) I’ve written plenty about that topic in the past, and (b) I guess I feel somewhat embarrassed that I’m still working on this, that I’m not yet satisfied, far from it.

23.

She’s from Spain, very cute and very petite and wearing a giant scarf. I met her here on the side of the street twenty minutes ago. Can’t remember the first thing I said, doesn’t really matter. We’ve hit it off and already exchanged numbers. Slight hitch though: she’s since become quite upset, and now she’s crying.

24.

Andrew Maxwell put it well in an interview I listened to recently. To paraphrase: it’s not so much failure that we’re scared of as it is success. There’s a dark comfort in failure, because when you fail you get to stay the same, nothing really changes. But success equals transformation, and transformation equals uncertainty. And uncertainty is scary.

25.

It’s about midnight as I park the bike and wander through Rembrandtplein. I pass a bunch of cool cats hanging about, looking like they stepped out of a fashion magazine, so I stop and tell them they look like they stepped out of a fashion magazine. That’s just the warm up. I won’t let myself go home until I make a beautiful woman smile.

Attack of the pigeons at Dam Square.

26.

Approaching a woman on the street is ineffective at the best of times. The odds of finding someone who’s a good match for you and hitting it off are pretty slim. So why do I still push myself to do cold approach? It’s a habit that keeps me feeling like a man of action, someone who goes after what he wants and isn’t afraid to express himself. It’s like reps in the gym, getting ready for the big game.

27.

Looking back at my habit tracking for the month, there’s a pattern emerging. Contentment is high during the weekdays, when I’m focused on work and in my routine. And then it drops off on the weekends. I think much of that is down to later nights on weekends, less sleep, and spending more time being reactive rather than proactive.

28.

I find the gym to be a weird scene. Granted, nobody goes there to be social, and I don’t either, but it seems most people go out of their way not to acknowledge each other in that environment. Even the gym rats, who see each other in there at the same time each day. I might have to become that overly-friendly guy who insists on saying hi to everyone.

29.

There’s an elderly woman on stage singing about a rabbit and a canary and sometimes making up words that are neither Dutch nor English. She’s accompanied by an electric guitar and an accordion. The stage is backed by a glass wall, beyond which we can see cars, bicycles, boats, buses, trams, trains, and the occasional airplane cutting through the night.

30.

The guy sitting beside me is in his fifties and opened the conversation talking about primary fields and the multiverse. Then he began rocking back and forth vigorously in his chair, frequently muttering something about stupid people, and informing us of his key takeaways from fifteen years studying the Bible.

7am at the gym.

In the comments below, let me know which of the above Momentos is your favorite. Which can you relate to?

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The #1 Reason I Stopped Traveling

I spent most of the past five years traveling around the world, visiting more than thirty countries while living out of a backpack and making money online. Four months ago I moved to Amsterdam, and here I plan to stay for the foreseeable future.

Why did I give up the travel lifestyle for a more settled existence?

Well, it’s like this…

In the book Guns, Germs, and Steel, author Jared Diamond puts forth a theory as to why some human civilizations developed faster than others.

Why, for example, did Europeans build boats and go conquer the Americas? Why, instead, didn’t the Native Americans build boats and go conquer Europe?

Diamond’s answer to such questions is complex, but one of the primary components is agriculture. Or, to be more specific, the availability of easily domesticated plants and animals native to different parts of the world.

Native or easily migrated to Europe were such farm-friendly animals as horses, cows, goats, sheep, chickens and pigs, while the Americans had to make do with lame creatures like turkeys, llamas and alpacas, none of which are known for their plow-pulling prowess.

“Europe? Alpaca my bags!”

On the plant side of things, an estimated 32 of the world’s 56 wild grasses best suited to agriculture (e.g. wheat, barley, corn) were native to Mediterranean areas, while only 2 were native to South America.

This means that any Native American hunter-gatherer who yearned to settle down on a nice plot of land, grow some crops and raise some stock… well, he was shit out of luck five thousand years ago. But his counterpart roaming the shores of the Mediterranean could probably fill his belly with whatever grew out of the dump his pet donkey took the week before.

All that to say, on account of little more than a fluke of nature, agriculture came much easier to Europeans than it did to Native Americans.

And what happens when people move from hunter-gather societies to agricultural societies? Yes, women become oppressed, animals become productized and the land slowly but surely becomes impotent… but the answer we’re looking for here is specialization.

That is, people no longer have to spend most of their time roaming about the wilderness in search of food. A small subset of the population become farmers, producing enough food for all, while everyone else eventually gets bored lying around all day with nare a PlayStation and thus get busy inventing weapons and writing systems and vessels of the sea-faring variety.

Then they go and conquer new lands.

“Never mind the gold. Where’s the wifi at?”

So, in summary, the earlier a people get settled in one place and don’t have to worry about basic shit like where their next meal is coming from or where they can find shelter for the night, the sooner they take over the world.

And that, my friends, is the main reason I quit traveling.

How To Remember People’s Names

“I call everyone ‘Darling’ because I can’t remember their names.”

– Zsa Zsa Gabor

I’m pretty good about remembering people’s names. But I wasn’t always. I’ve gotten better over the years by practicing regularly and instilling a few specific habits.

Here’s what I recommend if you want to develop this skill, too.

1. Get It Right The First Time

To remember someone’s name, you first need to know what it is. This means listening closely when they tell you.

“Bob, was it?”

Repeating a name right after hearing it will help ensure you heard correctly. For example, say you meet a guy who introduces himself as Chris. You’d reply back with something like:

— Hi, Chris. Nice to meet you.

Making yourself repeat the name forces you to get it right. If you can’t repeat the name because you didn’t quite catch it initially, that’s your cue to ask them to repeat it.

Let’s say you meet a girl here in Amsterdam and she tells you her name. You’re not sure you heard her correctly so you might say something like this:

— Sorry, what was your name again?

— Mijsje [pronounced ME-sha]

— Ah ok, Mijsje. Nice to meet you.

The bottom line here is to always make an effort to repeat the name of the person you just met. If you didn’t hear them correctly, ask them to repeat it. If you say it wrong, they have the opportunity to correct you.

2. Make It Sticky

“The general idea with most memory techniques is to change whatever boring thing is being inputted into your memory into something that is so colorful, so exciting, and so different from anything you’ve seen before that you can’t possibly forget it.” – Ed Cooke, Grand Master of Memory

Repeating the name once is a good first step, but it doesn’t mean you’ll remember it. The next step is to make it memorable, or “sticky.”

How do you do that?

In a word: mnemonics. You want to create a strong visual association of the name in your brain.

Our brains are hardwired to remember strong visual images. The more strange and exaggerated the image, the better. For example, if you live in a city, you probably see lots of cars every day and don’t remember much about any single one of them. But if you see one on fire, that’s very unusual and so you’ll remember the image of that car for a long time. You’re even more likely to remember it if it’s bright yellow and expensive-looking.

“Oh my, how unremarkable.”

Especially when you’re just getting started with the practice, it can take some time to come up with a good mnemonic for a person’s name, and it’s often not something you can stop to think about in the middle of an introduction.

Given that, whenever I meet someone with an unusual name, I recruit them to help me come up with a mnemonic and make it part of the conversation. For example, last year I met an Indian girl named Amardeep. I knew I’d have trouble remembering such a name so right away I asked her:

— How do you usually tell people to remember your name?

— Just remember “deep love.”

That stuck.

I met a guy here in Amsterdam a couple of weeks ago at a comedy event. We chatted briefly at the start of the night and he told me his name was Bijon. I asked how I could remember that and he replied:

— Don’t worry about it. Nobody ever remembers my name.

— It’s like the mustard, right? Like dijon with a B?

— Yeah, that’s it.

A couple of hours later we ran into each other again and I addressed him by name. He was pleasantly surprised that I remembered. (And I still remember, two weeks later.)

The more vivid and crazy you can make the association, the better.

I once met a white, clean-cut French guy named Yamin and associated his name with Bob Marley singing “Jammin.” The image I visualized was this French dude with dread locks dancing to that song but singing it as, “I’m Yamin, I’m Yamin, I’m Yamin, I’m Yamin, and I hope you like Yamin, too!”

That image is so bizarre that it’s easy to recall whenever I think of that guy, and so his name has become unforgettable.

Mnemonics are useful for remembering common names, too. Sometimes a common name is the hardest to remember due to the fact it is so common. For example, the name Brian can easily slip your mind because there’s nothing very remarkable about it, and so you might have to work a bit harder to make a memorable association.

Here are some ideas:

If the guy is smart, you can associate Brian with brain and imagine him with a massive, bulging cranium.
If the guy is funny, you can associate him with Brian from Family Guy and imagine them hanging out together.
If the guy seems like a bit of a meth head, you can associate him with Bryan Cranston

Everything Happens For A Reason? Uh, No, It Doesn’t.

If there’s one phrase that bugs the shit out of me, it’s this one: “Everything happens for a reason.”

You often hear this from well-intentioned people in an attempt to comfort others.

Oh, you failed your exams? Well, everything happens for a reason!
Girlfriend dumped you? Everything happens for a reason!
Doctor said you’ll never walk again? Cheer up, everything happens for a reason!
Your baby died of leukemia and your house burned down? Hey, not to worry: everything happens for a reason!

No, it doesn’t.

Saying everything happens for a reason is a form of denial. Bad shit happens sometimes, and there’s just no sugarcoating it. But some people would rather believe that the bad shit is all part of some grand cosmic plan that culminates with everyone sitting around a campfire singing kumbaya.

Sorry, it doesn’t, because there is no grand cosmic plan.

Or, if there is, it’s got to be the worst plan ever conceived. Whose idea was it to make rape and genocide and suicide bombings all part of the plan? Who penciled in the holocaust as step seventeen of this brilliant fucking scheme? Did a committee get together and vote to stop off at Chernobyl and Hiroshima and Palestine on the way to Nirvana?

“Cheer up, kid. It’s all part of the plan.”

When someone says, “everything happens for a reason,” what they’re really saying is this:

I’m very reluctant to feel sad or uncomfortable even for a minute, so I like to delude myself into believing that every apparent misfortune is actually a good thing in disguise. Come, won’t you be delusional, too?

This attitude is driven by a deeper belief that feelings such as sadness, anger, depression, loneliness or discomfort are somehow “wrong” and that immediate action must be taken to escape them.

Listen, no feeling is “wrong.” Every feeling is legitimate and should be processed, not suppressed or side-stepped.

That’s not to say that sitting around feeling sorry for yourself for months on end is perfectly fine. Neither is roaring obscenities at the little old lady who gave you the wrong change at the grocery store.

There’s a balance to be struck. Neither extreme is ideal. In the words of Yvon Chouinard:

There’s no difference between a pessimist who says, “Oh it’s hopeless, so don’t bother doing anything.” and an optimist who says, “Don’t bother doing anything, it’s going to turn out fine anyways.” Either way, nothing happens.

Credit: Jim Benton

Let’s look at a better way of handling suffering.

Handling Your Own

“You desire to know the art of living, my friend? It is contained in one phrase: make use of suffering.” – Henri Frederic Amiel

Let’s take the example of losing your job. And let’s say you liked that job and really needed it because you have mouths to feed and bills to pay and the odds of finding alternative employment any time soon aren’t looking too hot.

That situation sucks. Let’s not pretend it doesn’t.

You might feel angry, sad and/or depressed, and you have every right to those feelings. You don’t want them to become overwhelming and lead you to do something regrettable, but it’s fine to let yourself sit with them for a while.

Let yourself cry. Let yourself smash a plate or two. Let yourself feel resentful and useless and unworthy.

This is fine. (Just try not to be photographed doing it.)

But while you’re doing all that, two things to keep in mind:

Those feelings and emotions are only temporary.
There’s always some benefit to be found in your suffering.

I’ll elaborate on that second point, because at first glance it can look a lot like, “everything happens for a reason.”

The idea here is that no matter what happens in your life, no matter what misfortune comes your way, you always have an opportunity to practice some virtue. That practice is rarely easy, but it’s always there for the taking in one form or another.

Some examples:

Failed your exams? Now you can practice persistence.
Girlfriend dumped you? Now you can practice independence.
Doctor said you’ll never walk again? Now you can practice patience.
Your baby died of leukemia and your house burned down? Now you can practice acceptance.

There’s also humility, grace, courage, temperance, accountability, discipline, understanding, creativity… the list of virtues runs long.

“Except a creature be part coward, it is not a compliment to say it is brave.” – Mark Twain

Like I said, practicing virtues is rarely easy, especially when times are tough. But the opportunity is always there. That’s not to deny the brutal reality of whatever difficult situation you find yourself in. None of that when-life-gives-you-lemons shit.

The message here is more like, “Yeah, this sucks. And it’s probably going to hurt for a while. There’s no easy fix. But hey, whatever small benefit you can find in this situation, you might as well take it.”

Going back to the lost job example, what virtues would you get to practice in that situation? How about acceptance, creativity, fortitude, humility, frugality and industry, just to name a few.

The Suffering Of Others

What about when someone else is going through a tough time? How can you help ease their suffering?

Hint: not like this.

Well, the first thing is to give up the idea that you’re responsible for easing their suffering.

Because you’re not.

And that’s true even if you had some hand in causing their suffering in the first place. Sure, you can and should apologize and take reasonable action to make amends, but ultimately it’s up to the other person to let go of that suffering. You can’t force them to do it.

The second thing is to listen and acknowledge, without judgement. You don’t need to offer any platitudes or solutions. Just try your best to understand and empathize.

Things you should absolutely not say include:

Everything happens for a reason…
Look on the bright side…
God works in mysterious ways…
It’s not that big a deal…

Basically, don’t say anything that belittles the other person’s experience. If a little girl drops her ice cream on the beach and starts balling her eyes out, understand that that ice cream was the most important thing in her world at that moment. You telling her that “it’s only an ice cream” doesn’t make the situation any better; it just makes you an insensitive asshole.

What phrases trigger you?

Are there any words or phrases that you hate hearing when you’re going through a tough time? What are they? Share in the comments below.

How To Speed Up Vimeo Videos

(See above for a how-to screencast.)

You can watch many audio-heavy videos online at 2x speed and not lose any comprehension. For a two hour video, that saves you an hour of listening time.

You can speed up YouTube videos easily using the speed controls built into the player. Vimeo videos have no such built-in controls so we have to get creative. The trick is to create a bookmarklet in your Chrome or Safari browsers (this doesn’t work in Firefox, sorry).

Give the bookmarklet whatever name you like, and paste in the following code as the address/URL:

javascript: var v = document.querySelector(‘video’); var t = prompt(‘Set the playback rate’); v.playbackRate = parseFloat(t)

Then go load up a Vimeo video page, click the bookmarklet, enter the playback speed (e.g. 2 or 1.5), and click okay. Now when you play the video, it will run at the speed you specified.

Test it out here:

JRE #641 – Sam Harris

Credit for this hack goes to Pete Gordon (he posted the JavaScript code above in the comments of the original video).

…

UPDATE: Check out Scott’s comment below for even better ways to manipulate Vimeo playback.

Momentos: September 1st – September 15th, 2015

1.

You know what’s scary for me now? What’s scary is that I’m all out of excuses. The past few years I could blame all that overland travel for getting in the way of big business success. Now I look ahead at a long and empty stretch of work days and weeks and months, time like bricks there for me to build.

2.

Cycling south over the Halvemaansbrug, sky dark and air crisp, eyes dazzled by the Munt, beyond where Rembrandt once lived. But it’s not just the view that has me delighted in the moment. There’s also everything that came before. Having battled and defeated Resistance several times since sunrise, I feel courageous, alive.

3.

So I’m caving in tonight. Tomorrow’s a workday but I’ve invited her to sleep over. I felt lonely and frustrated last weekend, lacking intimacy, while at the same time resisting this wonderful woman. I thought maybe I could neglect that side of my life for several months and focus entirely on work, but that just makes me miserable. Time for a change.

4.

Now. After just four hours of sleep last night, would I still get up and clock in and do what needed to be done? Well, I wasn’t at my absolute best, but I got out of bed at 6:30 as usual and stuck to my schedule pretty good all through the day. I did my exercise, meditation, writing, client work. It was a good day, the kind dreams are made of.

5.

My friend is late and I opt to enjoy the wait, first bantering with a few strangers then riding my bike like a whisper down along the Brouwersgracht. There’s a drawbridge over my shoulder and a little Asian girl cycling past all cute with streamers and pink shoes. In my head Buddy Holly sings about true love and rollercoasters.

Friday night story time at Mezrab.

6.

I like to think that I’ll be selfish for just a few years more, then I’ll get serious about finding a partner. But maybe this selfishness never goes away. Maybe I’m not cut out for long-term monogamy. Maybe I’m not hard-wired that way. Though part of me certainly wishes I was. Sometimes I envy the guy who commits in his twenties and never wavers.

7.

Battling the dragon four times a day. First there’s exercise, twenty minutes first thing. Easier not to do it. Then there’s writing. At least an hour after breakfast. Easier not to do it. Then there’s client work after lunch. Easier not to do it. Then in the evening there’s approaching at least one attractive woman and giving her a genuine compliment. Easier not to do it.

8.

There are less people in the park these mornings. The leaves have begun to turn and the sky is that bit darker at 7am. I wonder if I’ll keep coming when it gets really cold. We only have so much willpower. It’s not an infinite resource. But I like these early mornings, alone on the grass, doing my stretches, watching the birds.

9.

On the way to the park this morning, had to stop and admire the sky for a minute as I crossed the Singelgracht. It was a bruised horizon, reflected on the canal, with a slice of moonlight crowning it all. I stood and watched my breath disappear into the scene, until some dude on rollerblades zipped past me, wearing a bright green thong, a tight vest, and a very serious look upon his face.

10.

I’ve written nine blog posts in the past two days. Done and dusted, just need videos for them now. By the end of the month I should be finished all my big freelance projects, can then focus on my own stuff full-time, writing articles and creating products that will help a lot of people. Trusting that the money will take care of itself. This path feels right.

#workday

11.

I sit down with five women at the Waterkant and chat for a few minutes, get them all laughing, come away with the cute Bulgarian as a new friend on Facebook. Turning back to the guys, they’re somewhat in awe, but they didn’t see me flame out twenty minutes prior with a hot Brazilian. Plus, Facebook friends doesn’t mean shit.

12.

First trip to Amsterdam-Noord, stepping off the free ferry alongside an ancient submarine and newlyweds posing beneath a bungee crane. It’s an old warehouse district, now home to quirky cafes and Europe’s biggest flea market.  We opt not to use our tech and head in a direction we assume to be north, looking for a sunflower maze.

13.

Caught in two minds today. I didn’t venture outside, didn’t have any human interaction. Part of me wants to share these down days with someone, so I’m not alone on the couch watching TV shows everyone else saw years ago. But at the same time I enjoy the solitude, feel like I need the occasional day like this.

14.

On the call with Caroline, and she tells me how to hold a butterfly. Close your fist too tight and you crush it. Leave your palm open and it flies away. The trick is to cup it in two hands, not too tight, not too loose. For the most part, I’ve gotten where I am by crushing butterflies. But what got me this far won’t take me further.

15.

On a call with Andrew, helping me get more clarity on this limiting belief. I pride myself on the ability to make a plan and see it through. But that very tendency can often hold me back. I’ll have a fixed idea in my mind about how something should unfold, and that causes me to resist surprises, even pleasant ones. How to overcome this? Make a plan and see it through? Ah, fuck.

Exploring Amsterdam-Noord.

In the comments below, let me know which of the above Momentos is your favorite. Which can you relate to?

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“Why Amsterdam?”

I spent most of the past five years traveling all around the world, visiting dozens of different countries and living in several for months at a time. That was fun for a while but eventually I began to crave a more settled existence.

Given that I work online, I had the option to settle pretty much anywhere, immigration laws permitting. But it wasn’t a difficult decision for me to choose Amsterdam above all, and in this article I’ll explain why.

Before I get stuck in, please note that, as of this writing, I’ve only been living in Amsterdam for 3.5 months, so methinks I’m still very much in the honeymoon period. I’ve yet to encounter a Dutch winter, and I’m also a white dude who can afford to live in a nice apartment in a fancy part of town. Those facts undoubtedly color my perception and experience of the city.

Arriving in Amsterdam back in June.

With all that said, here are fourteen reasons why I love living in Amsterdam:

1. Good memories

My first visit to Amsterdam was back in 2011, right at the start of my trip around the world without flying. I spent three weeks here and had a blast. Never before had I fell for a city so hard and so fast. And you never forget your first love.

2. It’s so purdy

The city is beautiful. Not all of it, of course — hey, even the Mona Lisa’s falling apart — but enough to leave you feeling like you’re living in a magical wonderland of canals and bridges and gables. It’s impossible to point to one specific thing that makes Amsterdam beautiful. It’s the combination of a thousand little streets and buildings and parks and cafes that give it such a unique charm.

3. Bicycles rule

I love the bicycle culture. Apparently there are more bicycles in this city than people, and cycling is easily the most popular means of transport. The city is flat so it’s easy to get around; you can get almost anywhere within fifteen minutes. Bike lanes are ubiquitous and cyclists often have right-of-way. There’s little I like better than riding my bike in this town. Every time I cross a bridge or glide alongside a canal is a moment of bliss.

Bicycles everywhere!

4. Healthy lifestyle

Related to the bicycle culture, most people here seem to be in good health. You rarely see anyone obese or even overweight. The city seems to encourage a healthy lifestyle, with regards to both diet and exercise.

5. Tis like a big village

There’s a real neighborhood feel to the place. You have your McDonalds and Starbucks and H&M and all the big chain stores, but you also have an abundance of small, independent stores and cafes and restaurants. Walk into a bar on the corner and there’s a good chance it’ll be the owner serving you. I always like that in a city because it makes it feel more personable. There are more stories, more character.

(Speaking of all the stories and restaurants to be found in this city, my friend Jess is writing an epic book about that very topic.)

6. Never a dull moment

Amsterdam is a hive of activity. There are always tons of people passing through, and lots of things to see and do. I can jump on meetup.com any day of the week and find a bunch of things happening. (I just looked on there now to see there are 23 different meetups happening today!)

Cruising the canals.

7. Diverse population

There’s a good mix of people here. There’s a big expat community (180 different nationalities represented), but you also meet plenty of locals. And for the most part I find the majority of people here easy to befriend and get along with.

8. Everyone speaks English!

Having spent the last few years of my life living predominantly in non-English speaking countries, this was a big plus for Amsterdam in my book. I’ve been here 3.5 months now and only twice have I met people who didn’t speak fluent English. I do plan to learn Dutch eventually — they say you never really understand a people until you learn their native language, right? — but I like that I don’t have to and can communicate with most people on a deep level without it.

9. It’s close to home

Another big one for me. Having seen very little of my family and friends back in Ireland the past few years, I wanted to settle somewhere close by so I could easily pop back for a visit. Living in Amsterdam, I can hop on a plane in the morning and be hugging family by lunch time. A direct flight from Amsterdam to Cork is pretty cheap (about €130 return), and Ryanair have just started a route between Amsterdam and Dublin, which means I can now catch a flight home for the price of a half-eaten sandwich.

10. “The world’s most liberal city”

So claims Russell Shorto, and it’s hard to argue with him. I don’t pay for sex or smoke marijuana, but I like that those things are legal here (well, not strictly legal in the case of marijuana, but you can do it no trouble). Same with euthanasia and same-sex marriage. There’s a real sense of live and let live. You can be whoever you want to be, even that dude in his sixties who races around town on a bicycle wearing nothing but a thong.

Be whoever you want to be.

11. Stories everywhere

Back in the 17th century, with the Dutch having become the dominant player in international trade, Amsterdam became the city at the center of the world. The golden age came and went, but this low-lying metropolis has persisted through the centuries as a refuge for all kinds of philosophers, artists and rabble-rousers. Walk down a random red-bricked street here and you may well be following in the footsteps of a Spinoza, Van Gogh or Anne Frank. If street corners could talk, you get the sense that every intersection in Amsterdam would quite have a few fascinating tales to tell.

12. Nobody seems to hate the government

Granted, I don’t keep up with or know much about politics, so this may just be my ignorance showing, but I don’t notice as many complaints about the government here as I do in other places. Taxes are quite high but it seems public money is put to good use for the most part and the people are well looked after. Look up pretty much any list of the world’s happiest countries or those with the best quality of life, and more often than not you’ll find the Netherlands sitting pretty in the top ten.

7am along Reguliersgracht, the famous canal of seven bridges.

13. Dutch people

The vast majority of Dutch people I meet seem to be well-educated and open-minded. They also seem to have their shit together, even at a young age. I’m constantly impressed by how mature your typical 19-year-old Dutch person is compared to their counterparts in the US, UK and Ireland. In general, the Dutch seem to have a better sense of who they are and what they want out of life.

14. Beautiful women

As a red-blooded male, I’d be remiss not to mention this. If I were to stick my head out my front window right now and take a look around, there’s an extremely good chance that a stunningly beautiful woman would enter my field of vision before I could count to ten. It’s altogether ridiculous, and somewhat distracting