Niall Doherty's Blog, page 206
February 19, 2016
Momentos: February 1st – February 15th, 2016
Monday, fast day, no grub, plenty of work. Kinda scattered at the mo. It’s a weird week with the course launched and waiting to see how many sign up. Had to get out and walk for a while this eve to clear the head, down old streets past uncurtained living rooms underneath a Rembrandt alongside a big patch of melting ice.
2.
Hadn’t seen this girl for a couple of months, ever since she turned down an invitation back to my place. Now she says she’s here for me, acting all flirtatious, fishing for another invite. Which is kinda inconvenient because I’m on a date with someone else, and that someone else is sitting well within earshot of this whole conversation.
3.
Starting to feel the stress of it. Haven’t been sleeping great, mind racing late into the night. Tried to take two naps today and barely drifted off despite the tiredness. Salsa this eve was good to get me out of the house and focused on something else. It’s all kind of thrilling at the same time. A regular job would bore me to tears.
4.
Hitting the gym on 4.5 hours of sleep. I’ve been consistent with the workouts the past several months, and my body has never looked better. Words from Charlie Munger come to mind as I bust a hundred crunches: “Slug it out one inch at a time, day by day. At the end of the day – if you live long enough – most people get what they deserve.”
5.
Writing this in the morning before checking the inbox. I’ve been warming people up all week with a series of emails about how to get started working online, and today comes the sales pitch for my course. 30 sales this weekend would be nice, but I think I’ll be at peace no matter what. I’ve given it my all and created something I’m proud of. It’s a beautiful morning.
Lunch
6.
Hmm. Sales are slow. Very slow. The gods of marketing say you need the right product, offered at the right price, sent to the right people, at the right time. I’m thinking the weakest link in my chain is the pricing. Will run a survey next week and get feedback from people who don’t buy, see if that’s it. In the meantime, I gots me a hot date.
7.
Sales have picked up. Was aiming for 30 before tomorrow and currently at 19, might get a few more overnight. Also got 75 new people into the funnel today, mostly thanks to the legendary Ms. Leon posting about the course in a popular digital nomad group on Facebook. We’ll see how they convert two weeks down the line. Wheels keep on turning.
8.
So many ideas, so many opportunities. They key thing now is focus. Prioritizing. What actions will have the biggest impact? There’s no way I can do it all, so I have to be selective. After that call though it feels like I’m on the verge of something big. He was gushing about the course, absolutely loves it, sees the potential.
9.
Sent out a blast this morning asking everyone who didn’t buy the course why so because, got a flood of responses. Great stuff in there. Looks like the pricing was the major issue, which is good news, can fix that easy. Spent several hours replying to those messages, even the ones from people who’ll never buy. Grateful for them all.
10.
Less than five hours kip last night, work all day, no afternoon nap, two hours salsa this eve… should be wrecked but I feel great. Could be setting myself up for a crash, but right now, with how the course is going — more so as regards feedback than sales — I feel like I’m providing more value to the world than ever. That has me buzzing.
Early morning walk in De Pijp.
11.
Skype today with my copywriter, who’s great at what he does and business savvy and just turned 21. Then drinks this eve with two guys new in town, both 22 and hustling to make their entrepreneurial dreams come true. They’ll all do well, ahead of the pack already just by thinking along these lines. My mind wasn’t on such matters until I was 27 or so.
12.
Almost 2am. She’s asleep in my bed. I’m out here on the couch, checked a few emails before typing this. I haven’t talked to her yet about where we’re headed, expectations. Need to do that. From her messages this week I get the impression she wants to be my girlfriend, which means she’ll soon be disappointed.
13.
Had the talk in bed this morning, went fine. Or so I thought until an hour later when we were mid-tryst and she asked me to promise, between moans, that I won’t date anyone else while I’m dating her. Let’s talk about it later, I said. No, she said, promise me now. And I knew right then what needed to be done, but I wasn’t sure if I had strength enough to do it.
14.
Way behind on posting Momentos and finance reports. I’ve let a lot of things slide the past several weeks in favor of 3M1K. And I’m okay with that, reminding myself of a key lesson from Essentialism: it’s not possible to solve every problem that comes your way; you have to choose which problems to tackle, and which to live with.
15.
Business lunch at StartDock. A dozen or so entrepreneurs in the room and we all got a couple of minutes to talk about what we’re doing and what we need help with. I may have been over-prepared, rehearsed my little pitch at least twenty times since yesterday, twice while juggling. But it was worth it. Met cool people and received good feedback.
Trust Cafe in Amsterdam – Pay what you want.
In the comments below, let me know which of the above Momentos is your favorite. Which can you relate to?
February 17, 2016
Momentos: January 16th – January 31st, 2016
I try think no thoughts in an old church before collecting my bike where it slept and heading towards the first dam ever built in this town. They celebrate the national flower today, covering the square with two-hundred-thousand of them, free for anyone to pluck. I’ll get five for myself and make some new friends and go eat waffle fries.
17.
The urge to self-sabotage grows stronger as I get closer to launch. Aimed to have an early night last night but sat on the couch until 3am watching shitty YouTube clips and eating crap I wasn’t hungry for. Why is it so hard to do the things we know are good for us? At the bottom of it all, I wonder if I really feel deserving of the success I seek.
18.
Chatting with a friend about online business. He’s been pulling in $7k/month from his content biz, and tells me about a travel blogger making $3k/month minimum from affiliate programs. So much money out there to be claimed. Really, the hardest thing is staying focused long enough to break through and reap the rewards.
19.
Decided to push the launch date back a week. I could probably get enough done by the 29th to launch as planned, but it would be too rushed. Finances will be tight, but I’d rather take my time and get everything dialed in good and proper. Started on styling work today. It’s all coming together nicely.
20.
Changing up the pricing now too after feedback from my copywriter. I was planning to charge €297 up front for three months, and then €30/month thereafter. But that’s confusing, gives people pause. Either do a one-time upfront fee or simple monthly pricing. So we’re rolling with the latter. €97/month (including VAT, so everyone pays the same).
Tulip festival in Amsterdam.
21.
Started hardcore into recording the course videos today. Was going to head out to a Bollywood dance meetup this eve but it’s crunch time right now so sacrifices have to be made. Recorded and edited 15 videos in total — more than two hours’ worth of content — but I still have about 50 more to do before launch.
22.
On a date talking about gay assholes. She tells me the Egyptian army has recruits drop trou so they can inspect the rect and ensure they’re not gay. Because apparently you can tell just by looking and homosexuals make ineffective soldiers. She also tells me about Egypt’s first gay wedding two years back, the arrests made and the outrage caused.
23.
Worst cheat day ever. As in, I didn’t go nuts and throw a ridiculous amount of unhealthy fare at my face. Last week’s binge left me feeling low, so trying to do things a little differently now, pausing to acknowledge the desire for distraction and destruction, allowing myself to feel and process whatever pain is there. Tara Brach has been helpful.
24.
I weave around Vondelpark in the drizzle for a bit, looking for a spot to record a video, end up propping against a gate leading to a bandstand in a lake. Two women nearby are teaching a third how to ride a bicycle, and there’s birdsong in the air. I slept log-like last night and felt no hunger this morning. All is patient, all is kind.
25.
Someone asked if I script or rehearse my videos. I always try do them in one take and roll with any fumbled words or lost trains of thought. Many people post heavily-edited vlogs online and they look slick and everything, but a) all that editing seems like a lot of work, and b) you don’t get a sense of what that person is really like, seeing only their highlights.
Salsa party.
26.
Sucked it up and got 17 videos finished yesterday. That’s the bulk of them done for the course now, more than eleven hours’ worth. Feeling good about the content overall. The course is solid. It has the potential to help a lot of people. Now to focus on the marketing side of things. I know I can create value, but communicating it is a whole other challenge.
27.
On the way to salsa class, telling her I’ve been sleeping well of late. Surprisingly. Usually when it’s crunch time with the work stuff my mind won’t stop racing and I toss and turn for hours. But not so much this time around. I feel there’s more at stake with this launch than the last, yet I’m more at ease now than I was then.
28.
Henry Rollins puts on a good show. Not sure which is more impressive, his head or his heart. One thing that sticks with me is his age, mentions he’ll be turning 55 this year. That’s 21 ahead of me. Two decades and change, and he’s still got plenty in the tank. We’ve got so much living left to do, so much more to experience. Lucky us.
29.
Got up this morning, went to my magic notebook, and within sixty seconds was listening to a random song that had come to mind. Then I retrieved some food items from my refrigeration machine, cooked them in my electromagnetic radiation box, and ate while watching the world’s most famous astrophysicist unravel the mysteries of space and time.
30.
I usually spend about €400/month on food. This month I’ve spent less than €300. Cutting way back on meat has probably helped, but also I’m getting better at listening to my body and only eating when truly hungry. Tonight, for example, I came home late with snacking in mind, but stopped and listened and went to bed content without eating.
31.
Alright, there it is: the course is launched. I’m guiding everyone through a free email series first to give them a good taste of what’s on offer, rather than beating them over the head with a sales pitch. But anyone eager to get started can buy into the course as of now. Should be an interesting week seeing how the sales go.
View leaving the gym at 7:35am
In the comments below, let me know which of the above Momentos is your favorite. Which can you relate to?
January 24, 2016
Momentos: January 1st – January 15th, 2016
Speaks to me a little different every year. This line stood out watching it tonight: “Plenty of time you’ll be alone. When you’re different like us, it’s gonna be that way.” No tears this time around, maybe because I wasn’t actually watching alone. But after everyone left, I sat myself down and had a good cry.
2.
Someone sent me an article today about how successful people spend their weekends. One key is to get up at the same time you do during the week, so as not to disrupt your sleep schedule and throw you out of whack. I need to abide by this. Problem though isn’t so much the time I wake up on weekends, but the time I go to bed.
3.
Typing this on a Sunday evening. Tomorrow I start into a hectic work schedule, aiming to write 34 lessons for my course in 12 days. Pull that off and I should be on track to launch the thing by the end of January, as promised. And these lessons need to be solid, quality in quantity. Deep breath, here we go…
4.
A girl I’m dating says she’s a bit intimidated by how organized I am. She asked if I’d tidied up the apartment before she came over and I told her no, it’s always like this. Now I’m all self-conscious about being too OCD. I have a bunch of things arranged neatly on the bathroom shelf but have taken to messing them up a little before anyone drops by.
5.
Feeling the truth of these lines from Mastery this morning: “You must always try to work with deadlines, whether real or manufactured. Faced with the slenderest amount of time to reach the end, the mind rises to the level you require. Ideas crowd upon one another. You don’t have the luxury of feeling frustrated.”
Ice skating behind the Rijks.
6.
In the library discussing the many things we learned in school that proved useless, and the opportunity cost of all that. I could have done without Religion and Irish, and remember little of what I was taught in French, History, Maths, Physics. Would have served me better to learn about first aid, mental health, how to cook, basic finance.
7.
Focused as I am on getting this course ready for launch, I notice that I pay less attention to trivial shit. Someone writes a bitchy comment on Facebook? Shrug it off. That girl hasn’t responded to my texts? Ah fuck it. Shopkeeper acting rude to me? Barely registers. Coming to better understand the people who do get worked up over these kinds of things.
8.
Bit of a sausage-fest at the meetup, which is fine for a while. I need more good men in my life, that brotherhood. But I know it’ll eat away at me if I don’t at least approach an attractive lady or two in this place before calling it a night. After a couple of hours of man-talk, I try a few and flame out fast, then cycle home at peace with myself.
9.
Reminded this eve of that familiar paradox: playing it safe is often the most dangerous thing you can do. Because our best chance of success is to fully commit to something, to go all out. But that’s scary, right? So instead we take half measures, don’t put ourselves out there, stick to the safe and familiar… and go to the grave with our song unsung.
10.
Sunday is my day to sharpen the saw. Take my time, cook up some healthy food, get organized for the week. Also a good day for topping up on motivation and inspiration. Spent a couple of hours this afternoon reading about Elon Musk and Tesla, and now I’m eager to get back to work. The world needs us to make the best of ourselves.
Meeting point for a lights festival tour.
11.
Shit. Feel like I hit a wall today. Let myself skip the gym I was so tired this morning, then struggled to get another three lessons written for the course. Hiring a copywriter now to help get this thing finished, which is great but not exactly cheap, and realized on a call with him how much work I still have to do before launching on the 29th.
12.
Lay awake in bed last night for two-and-a-half hours, couldn’t switch off. Today was better. Back at the gym, back in the flow, less freaking out. All part of the roller coaster, I guess. Talking about it at dinner with friends this eve, two good dudes six clicks across town, moving forward while understanding that it’s incomprehensible.
13.
Sinking feeling when I see that another online entrepreneur pulled in five figures last month. That guy? I met him years ago, didn’t exactly hit it off. How the fuck can he be thriving and me not there yet? But I think a little more and reframe. Bodes well for me that he can do that. Because he’s got nothing I don’t have or can’t learn. Only a matter of time.
14.
All lessons for the course complete, a day ahead of schedule. On track to launch by the end of the month but still lots to do. Payment processing, sales funnel, styling work… many bits and pieces to slot into place. And launch day is really only the halfway point. Then it’s helping students prosper and promoting the bejesus out of this thing.
15.
At least ten at this table. Among us French, Turkish, American, Serbian, Indian… and an Egyptian girl casting flirty looks from wisened eyes. We’re in a jazz bar with no jazz, surrounded by cigarette smoke and little wooden heads carved into the walls and I’m the only one sober. I’ll dance tonight, and laugh and shine, and invite those eyes back to mine.
First attempt making blueberry pancakes.
In the comments below, let me know which of the above Momentos is your favorite. Which can you relate to?
January 3, 2016
Momentos: December 16th – December 31st, 2015
How can anyone ever be bored? There’s so much fascinating shit to know about the world and much of it you can learn for free online. Today I found a documentary on YouTube about how plants communicate and think. There’s a tree in Africa that senses when it’s being overgrazed and releases toxins that kill large mammals. Wow.
17.
Coming to better accept the ebbs and flows of it all. Like today on the way to the airport, plenty of opportunities to be social, talk to strangers. But I wasn’t in the mood for it, just wanted to zone out and rest my brain. So that’s what I did, without feeling bad on account. Opportunities were missed, but not every opportunity has to be seized.
18.
We used to look at month-old boxscores in the back of FIBA magazine. Then we upgraded to refreshing the play-by-play every twenty seconds online. Then came live audio feeds and grainy video clips. Now we can sit and watch every game live in high-def from his living room, talking about death and sex and karma all the while.
19.
Back home in Slieverue, the house I grew up in, climbed every tree and crossed every field in a three mile radius. Five years since I was here for Christmas. Who was that man, back then all vegan and newly self-employed and thirty-seven countries still to step in. Wish I could thank him for that journey he had in mind. It’s led me here.
20.
A farm was handed down from father to son for generations. At the latest handover, the father told the son what had once been told to him. You do not own this land, he said. You are simply a custodian. You take good care of it and pass the land along better than received. I hear this story as we walk along a country road, past a broken old farm.
Irish breakfast.
21.
Jane Austen used to write in the family sitting room, often in the company of others and subject to frequent interruptions. I imagine she became adept at staying focused despite distractions, trained herself to dive deep in a blink. I think of this as I open a book in front of the television, rather than sit alone in the other room.
22.
My earliest memory is visiting my great-grandmother in hospital. Now I’m visiting my grandmother in the same spot. And she looks much the same. Some day I’ll be there, too. Feeling strong in body and mind right now, a man in the prime of his life. But everything comes and everything goes.
23.
Recently been thinking about how lucky I am to have lived this long. How many illnesses and injuries have I endured that would have killed a man a hundred years ago? Appendix as a kid, that severe bout of diarrhea in Kathmandu, maybe even that cut above my right eye.
24.
Reading back over those last few, and they sound darker than intended. I’m very content these days. Earlier out for lunch with the fam there was sunlight coming in through a window and you could see all the particles floating in the air. It was as if everything was moving in slow motion, as if we had all the time in the world. Maybe we do.
25.
I’m part of the lucky generation, old enough to remember the pre-internet days and appreciate how amazing everything has become, yet young enough not to feel bewildered by it all. As a kid, I remember getting a yellow dump truck for Christmas, about the size of a shoe box. That was all I got, and I loved it.
My grandmother’s house.
26.
It’s been a week now of doing nothing. In thirty-six hours I’ll be back in Amsterdam, ready to get stuck into the work stuff. I’m hoping this downtime will be like the pull-back on a slingshot, helping propel me through the weeks ahead. And I’m looking forward to the challenge. I can’t do nothing for long before that itch returns strong.
27.
There’s definitely some uneasiness with being home, like part of me reverts back to the nineteen-year-old I wasn’t all that happy being. All in my head of course, but goes to show how getting away from what you’re used to can aid growth and change. That said, you can’t run from those old demons forever. You have to tackle them eventually.
28.
Back at the sanctuary. Long nap to shake off the early flight and then I clock in. I pulled a few mega workweeks last June/July and methinks I’ll need to do the same in January to get these two products launched, the updated travel guide and the work online course. Sacrifices will have to be made.
29.
One of Michael Pollan’s food rules: “Be the kind of person who takes supplements—then skip the supplements.” Because people who are health-conscious enough to take supplements generally don’t need them. I think there’s an analogy there for preserving wealth: Be the kind of person who can afford a big house—then skip the big house.
30.
Realizing now that I could have staved off much of that uneasiness back home just by doing a few of the things I usually do, like exercise, meditation, and a bit of writing. Today was blissful because I did all those things. A little evening cycle through the park helped too, listening to Coltrane’s magic notes on solitude.
31.
Not feeling all that reflective. 2015 felt like a stepping stone more than anything else, a year of transition. I’m more focused on what lies ahead, on the relationships I’ll build and the work I’ll do in the coming year. Watching endless fireworks from Museumplein at midnight, I feel a sense of peace and acceptance, like this is exactly where I should be.
Home is where the hearth is.
In the comments below, let me know which of the above Momentos is your favorite. Which can you relate to?
December 17, 2015
Momentos: December 1st – December 15th, 2015
The best thing about spending the winter is in Amsterdam is being in Amsterdam. The city remains magical, just a bit colder and less leaves on the trees. Cycling around this evening the sky was all lit up pink and orange and reflected in old canal-side windows. I passed a girl walking and smiling to herself and I was grateful for whatever inspired that smile.
2.
There’s a little park along a canal by my place with a zip line and a couple of statues, one for the war, one for a dead writer. Rambled through there this eve on the way back from the ice rink and the tunnel through the Rijks. I volunteered to go first but the line hung low and I ended up with my ass in a black puddle. It was the best of times.
3.
I thought people at the gym were just anti-social but then there was this Colombian dude who said hello to everyone and they all said hello back. Took me a while to realize what he was doing different: he wasn’t waiting for permission to say hello, he just did it, no strings, no fear of getting blanked. I’ve taken his approach. Things are better now.
4.
€4k/year for my accountant has raised some eyebrows, but I don’t think it’s a significant expense at all. He’s handling everything you’d expect and acting as secretary for my company besides. More to the point, if I can’t afford to pay an accountant €4k/year at this stage, working full-time at my business, I seriously need to rethink being self-employed.
5.
Boundary issues become more pronounced around kids. Adults will often hold themselves back from taking advantage, but kids don’t know any better. They’ll trample all over you if you don’t stand firm. Hanging with my friend’s kids today at the beach, methinks I’ve improved in that area. Hard balance though, being fun and firm at the same time.
Winter in Amsterdam.
6.
Existential crisis averted today by taking a nap. It’s amazing how often a wrecked head or a dose of the sads comes down to something basic, like low blood sugar or lack of sleep or being surrounded by assholes. Hit the ground running when I awoke from the winks and all organized now for the week ahead.
7.
Cycling home through quiet streets, third time in four nights I’ve been for dinner with friends. Starting to feel a real sense of community here. It’s a little before midnight now, and warm for December. A hedgehog wobbles across my path outside Vondelpark. Two young men jam The Pink Panther theme in the tunnel through the Rijks.
8.
Was hoping I could focus exclusively on course-building for the next couple of months and get the thing launched, but looks like I’ll need to get back to freelancing in the new year and pad the savings a bit. Bills are mounting up and I haven’t earned much the past few weeks. Thinking this hiccup might turn out to be a very good thing.
9.
Tiredness happens on two levels: macro and micro. Micro is the day-to-day. You feel tired because you only got five hours sleep last night, but a solid sleep the next night and you’re back firing on all cylinders. Macro tired can’t be fixed so easily. What you need is a week or two away from everything, full decompression. Looking forward to that over Christmas.
10.
Rainy night under the widest bridge in town, writing letters to Iran, Uzbekistan, Saudi Arabia. It’s a charity thing, but I really just came to get out of the house and be social. Not sure what impact these letters have. One is to the king of Saudi. What are the chances he’ll actually read it, or that enough will be received to raise powerful eyebrows?
Not exactly beach weather.
11.
A brave young man gets on stage at the Mezrab and talks about his brother’s tragic death just three weeks prior. And I reflect on how lucky I’ve been, more than half my life now since I’ve lost anyone close to me. My grandmother will be gone soon though, can’t hold on much longer. Didn’t think I’d see her again, but she may make it to Christmas.
12.
That point in a relationship where you reveal the first impressions you had of each other. She knew I was going to come talk to her that night, then puzzled as to why I didn’t ask for her number after we hit it off. Yeah, I messed that up, waited too long and then it was too late. But we’re here now in front of the fire. So it all worked out okay.
13.
On second thought, I’ll push through with the product-building in January. Gonna be cutting it tight with the finances but I’ll make it work somehow. Otherwise I won’t get this course launched until March at the earliest, and that’s just taking the piss. People are asking for it, willing to pay. I just need to knuckle down and do the work.
14.
Signed up for AFF a few months back, had two dates from it, nothing more. Forgot to cancel and accidentally renewed but called them up last week, closed the account and got a refund. Think I’ll stick to offline going forward. I attend a few events each week and push myself to go talk to whoever I find attractive. That’s been going well.
15.
I was eating 1.4 kilograms of peanut butter a week, had developed an insatiable craving for the stuff. A friend pointed out that it added up to almost 9,000 calories per week. Way too much. So I stopped buying peanuts, haven’t had any for ten days now. I want to be in control of my cravings, not be a slave to them.
Parkour! Part of the Amsterdam Light Festival.
In the comments below, let me know which of the above Momentos is your favorite. Which can you relate to?
December 11, 2015
5 Gift Ideas For Minimalists
There’s a room upstairs in my grandmother’s house.
I’d never seen it until a few years back. It’s where she keeps all the useless and unwanted gifts people have given to her over the years.
There are plastic-wrapped baskets of soaps and candles. Dinnerware and fancy glasses still in their boxes. All sorts of little electronic gizmos that have never been used. Humorous books that have never been opened. Countless ornaments and trinkets.
She once showed me a nice vase on a shelf in that room. It was still in the box. Right next to it was another exactly the same.
All those gifts were from family and friends. All were given with good intentions. Many were actually very thoughtful.
And yet the vast majority ended up gathering dust in an unused bedroom.
Upstairs at Grandma’s.
I consider myself a minimalist
I sold or gave away almost everything I owned five years ago and have lived out of a backpack for most of the time since.
Six months ago I moved to Amsterdam and have started to accumulate a few more possessions. I have four pairs of pants now. And a blender. But still no toaster. I could probably pack everything I own in forty-five minutes.
I rarely like free shit.
Just because something’s free doesn’t mean it’s worth having. Just like not every gift is worth giving (or receiving).
“A hairdryer? How thoughtful.”
This attitude can be an issue at Christmas time
A few years back I asked friends and family if they could recall what I’d gotten them for Christmas the year before.
None of them could.
Some of those gifts I’d put a lot of thought into. Some I’d spent a pretty penny on.
A year later nobody remembered.
Can you remember what gifts you received last Christmas?
Surely you remember what George gave you.
Unless it was something you really wanted in the first place, probably not.
When I came to this realization, I decided to rethink the whole gift giving thing and came up with the following gift ideas.
5 Gift Ideas For Minimalists
1. Time and attention
No question that my grandmother prefers someone calling over and spending an hour chatting with her rather than popping in for two minutes to drop off a gift.
Time and attention really is the greatest gift you can give.
Some ways you can wrap that:
Take someone out for coffee, lunch or dinner.
Invite someone for a walk or drive someplace interesting.
Take them out ice skating.
Offer to help them with a project they’re working on.
Just take the time to sit around and chat with them.
Dinner tonight, he said. Just the two of us, he said.
2. Make a donation on their behalf
Instead of buying someone a DVD they’d probably never watch, make a charitable donation in their name.
The money goes to a worthy cause, and one less item ends up gathering dust on a shelf.
This year I’ve made a large donation to The Human, Earth Project and will present that as a Christmas gift to my family.
These kids benefit when you donate to The Human, Earth Project.
3. Buy them an experience
Experiences > stuff.
A good experience lives long in memory and there’s no physical clutter to worry about.
Some experiences you can gift to people:
Concert, opera or theater tickets
Voucher for a spa or sauna
Amazon or iTunes voucher (for books, movies, music)
Paid lessons in some skill they want to learn (music, sports, etc.)
Travel voucher (e.g. two nights paid vacation somewhere nice)
“Saw you practicing, figured you could use professional help.”
4. Give them something consumable
If you like giving something chunky and gift-wrapped, consider something consumable.
Such as:
Food items
Beverages
Smelly stuff (perfume, aftershave, etc.)
5. Something physical they really want or need
Sometimes the best gift really is something physical. If it’s something you know the receiver desperately wants or needs and will put to good use, then go for it.
A bigger boat you say. Hmm…
Do you have any minimalist gift ideas to add?
December 4, 2015
Momentos: November 16th – November 30th, 2015
You know when you’re in the gym or at the supermarket and you’re all happy with the world and smiling at strangers and saying hello and they just blank you and you wonder what the fuck is wrong with people, why are they so cold, so heartless, where is the human connection? I was one of those strangers today. Tired was all.
17.
I’m not going to make a lot of money this month, surely less than $1k. Which is to be expected, since I’ve cut back on almost all my freelance work to focus on building the course. I know this is necessary, and my savings will tide me over, but psychologically it’s tough to deal with. Spending more than I earn always feels uncomfortable.
18.
There’s a bike shop down off Heinekenplein run by a couple of Serbian dudes. They do good work, offer fair prices, don’t screw anyone over. I like popping into them every now and then, having the chat. This is the kind of neighborhood feel I missed on the road, seeing familiar faces and places on the regular, a sense of home.
19.
I get there early, a bar off the Nes. Was going to bring a book to pass the wait, but it’s better I warm up and get the social juices flowing. I take a stool at the end of the bar and strike up with two ladies alongside. They’re nice, receptive, laughing easy. Then my date calls, stuck across town. “You’ll have to choose me or the light show,” she says. Easy choice.
20.
Texting back and forth, different girl. She wants me to meet her in Utrecht tonight. I could go, but it would be for the wrong reasons. Not because I really want to, but to be a nice guy and not have her pissed at me. So I say no and watch the texts turn upset. I don’t like being the asshole, but sometimes it’s the right thing to be.
7am at the gym
21.
At the supermarket a fellow shopper comes over to recommend I buy the organic bananas because the others are genetically modified and they pay the farmers pittance and it’s a government conspiracy and big corporations and yadda yadda yadda. I put a hand on his shoulder and say, “Yeah, thanks. I’m still going to buy these bananas.”
22.
Been in Amsterdam almost six months now, and just signed a year-long extension on my apartment. The rent ain’t cheap but people tell me it’s as good as it gets for this part of town. And I am very happy living here. I like not having to pack all my shit and move every few weeks/months. That was fun for a while, but not forever.
23.
In Parkour, your best chance of making a jump is to commit to it fully. You have to fling your two feet forward. Half-assing it means you fall short and may hurt yourself. In other words, taking the scariest action — jumping with two feet — is how you’re most likely to succeed. Knowing this doesn’t make it any easier.
24.
Dutch kids have a favorite game in the school gymnasium. They call it “apenkooi,” which literally translates to “monkeycaging.” This evening I played it with a bunch of grown-ups over in the Jordaan. The floor is lava so you can only step on mats and benches and gymnastic equipment and avoid being tagged. Great fun.
25.
She’s not supposed to be here right now. I have to keep it a secret. There’s me and her and a man with a beard. She talks about ditching her friend in Vietnam, feels guilty about it but shouldn’t. Dawns on me that it’s easier to end a relationship than a friendship. Few people expect a friend to break up with them.
Date night
26.
I walk into a bright room and see clothes strewn about the floor. Black boots, black pants, black shirt, a tie. In the corner there’s a woman moving like a breeze. She’s blonde and she’s beautiful. She looks at me as she removes her bra, an intense look, and I try to stand strong and return it but we both know she has all the power.
27.
“The only time a man should even contemplate monogamy is after experiencing abundance.” So says Rollo Tomassi. I don’t agree with him completely — it’s in some men’s nature to be monogamous — but abundance is something I’m seeking. Not so much lots of women at the same time, but lots of options.
28.
It’s after midnight on a Saturday and I wade through the merry and loud coming out of Central Station, trying not to begrudge them their silly dances and bad jokes. I’m two hours delayed for having to double back but she was sweet and came to meet me on her bike, what I’d forgotten in hand and a little gift to go with it.
29.
Ran out of patience today with a reader who took issue with what I wrote back on November 14th. He found it offensive “from an Asian stand point and scholarly sociological view for women’s global equality.” I asked that he explain more because I wasn’t seeing it. Then he brought up the Nazis. Wow. He’s going to have a tough time in this world.
30.
Realized cycling home this morning that I’m starting to experience exactly what I wanted in my dating life. And looking back I remind myself that I’m pretty good at making my dreams come true. It never happens as fast as I want, but so long as I persist it always seems to happen. This bodes well for my business goals.
Apenkooi warm-up
In the comments below, let me know which of the above Momentos is your favorite. Which can you relate to?
November 22, 2015
Down, Hardcore, And Lonely (Over Beyond: Episode 003)
Over Beyond is a long-form podcast where I have the occasional meandering chat with my cousin over Skype and record it.
In this episode we talk about cats, intellectual snobbery, the terrorist attacks in Paris, McCarthyism, online piracy, integrity, books (as always), and a bunch of other seemingly unrelated topics.
Have a listen, and let us know what you think.
MP3 download available here (135MB, 1:38:39)
(Check out the podcast archive for previous episodes.)
Links
Video: Cats scared by cucumbers
Documentary: The Overnighters
Book: Man’s Search For Meaning
Author: Jonathan Franzen
Book: The Intellectuals And The Masses: Pride and Prejudice Among the Literary Intelligensia
Wikipedia: Howard Fast (writer of Spartacus), McCarthyism
Book: Gilead
Article: The Taliban vs. Andre the Giant
Article: The Disconnect: Piracy and Lifestyle Design
Article: Dog Meat, Piracy, and Something About Business
Podcast: This American Life
Podcast: Serial
Television show: Boardwalk Empire
Book: The Autobiography of Malcolm X
Book: All Involved
November 18, 2015
Momentos: November 1st – November 15th, 2015
Reading words from Malcolm X. He writes about that deep-rooted racism he grew up with, whites looking at him like he was a pet rather than a human being. They weren’t bad people necessarily; they just didn’t realize how fucked up their beliefs were. Makes me wonder: what fucked up beliefs of my own am I oblivious to? And what about you?
2.
The honeymoon might be coming to an end here in Amsterdam. Still love the city, but reality is starting to hit now that I’m registered as a resident, suddenly on the hook for €60 municipal tax and a €15 water charge. Paid rent yesterday too so I feel like I’m bleeding money all of a sudden. Life on the road was exhausting, but it was also a lot cheaper.
3.
My mastermind buddy gave me a much-needed kick up the ass last night on our monthly call. One simple question: “Is there any reason you need to be doing all this stuff at the same time?” Shit, how fast I forgot the lessons of Essentialism, somehow ended up juggling multiple projects and making solid progress in none. Time to refocus.
4.
Nervous for tonight. Too nervous, really. I sit and write some sense into myself. All I have to do is be present. The question isn’t whether she’s going to like me, it’s whether I’m going to like her. What interesting things will I learn about this girl? Is she just a pretty face or more than that? I finish writing, meditate for fifteen, then head out.
5.
Buzzing after a chat with Sam in a coffee and coconut shop that was built as a cinema ninety-five years ago. We talk about stories and storytelling and bicycles and Serbians and dating and meditation and curiosity and travel and dreams and how to memorize a deck of cards and that thing I’ll probably go do in 2017.
The last leaves of Autumn in Amsterdam.
6.
Almost nine and I’ve got that limitless vibe going. I’m late but in no hurry, grab a coffee across the street and banter with an Indian dude there, then head towards the bike, striking conversations and evoking smiles en route. My tongue is loose, eyes nice and easy, self-doubt cast out. It’s a Friday night in Amsterdam, and I’m in the prime of my life.
7.
What sound does a rooster make? Ask an American and they’ll tell you cock-a-doodle-doo. Ask an Italian and they’ll tell you key-kiri-key. Ask a Dutchman and he’ll tell you coo-curu-coo. Ask a Korean and they’ll tell you jack-jack. Dogs and cows also make different noises depending on the language. I’m not making this shit up.
8.
Malcolm almost lost me in the middle, ranting on and on about the devilish white man. He turned a corner near the end though, seeing that it’s not the color of a man’s skin that makes him “devilish,” but the quality of his character. It’s fifty years now since his assassination. I wonder if he’d think we’d made much progress in race relations.
9.
Starting to devote bigger chunks of time to my most important work. As an experiment, I’ve pushed my first email check of the day until 5pm, and blocking Facebook from nine to six, will give it two weeks and see if anything falls apart. Feels good already, starting the day off proactive rather than reactive.
10.
A date of sorts at this bar atop the W, her suggestion. The lights are dim, the tea ain’t cheap, and I’m early. When she finally appears she looks like Cate Blanchett as the female lead in some classy Russian spy movie. She offers a handshake. We chat for a bit. I feel relaxed. She seems nervous. I pay and we leave together.
Dual monitor setup at the home office. But does it make me more productive?
11.
Webinar this eve, had been prepping for it for weeks, ended up being a lot more work than expected (mostly due to my pesky perfectionism). Time finally came and we ran into a tech issue, couldn’t resolve, had to abandon and apologize to the attendees. I think we handled it well though, didn’t get flustered, came up with a solid Plan B.
12.
I had a moment today. By myself, in my apartment, taking a break from the work stuff. I was in my fluffy puppy slippers, mug of green smoothie in hand, dancing to the sounds of Nancy Sinatra. And it struck me harder than usual, how lucky I am to be living this life, how much I enjoy it, and how I’ll look back on these days as some of my best.
13.
“Did you hear what’s happening in Paris?” This comes as I’m leaving Mezrab. I head home and look up the latest, lie awake for hours trying to forget about it. It’s not fear, but disappointment and frustration. How can we keep doing this to ourselves? How sick and miseducated do you have to be to consider this a righteous act? Fucking humans.
14.
There are only six of us in this little dance studio, five watching. The elderly Asian lady introduces herself and then commences the performance low on all fours growling like a dog. She moves very slowly like this for two minutes. I look over at J and he points a thumb towards the door. Not quietly enough, we stand and make our exit.
15.
A friend put me in touch with a literary agent in Ireland, and the agent asked me to send along a synopsis and chapter breakdown of The Cargo Ship Diaries. A long shot, but could end up getting the book printed and in book stores. Which is great, and yet I had a voice in my head today telling me to forget it, doesn’t matter that much, book’s not that good anyway.
Cheat day toastfest.
In the comments below, let me know which of the above Momentos is your favorite. Which can you relate to?
November 6, 2015
Momentos: October 16th – October 31st, 2015
There’s a drizzle in the evening air, acting like a filter, more shimmer in our eyes. The walk was a good idea. I’m taking her now to see a grand bookcase behind spiral stairs. People tend to leave lights on and curtains open in this town, as if their front rooms are exhibits in some city-wide museum. There’s extra warmth in those rooms tonight.
17.
Woke up together and lazed the afternoon away, then apple pie in a cafe where Malcolm Gladwell happened to be. We spent hours roaming the straats and grachts, capturing memories, and now find ourselves in a vintage fashion store after closing, trying on everything and being treated to free food and drink by the quirky proprietor.
18.
Sent out for shampoo, but the marathon is happening and they’ve got the street between here and the supermarket blocked off. I ask a lady with a bike if they’re letting people through. I have to ask three times because she doesn’t understand me. They eventually herd us through in big batches, stopping in the middle and directing the runners around.
19.
Doing my usual 24-hour fast on a Monday. I’m so used to it by now that it’s usually not a big deal, but today was tough for a stretch. I’ve learned from fasting how often I turn to eating as a form of procrastination, or as a stress release. When you take away that coping mechanism, there’s nothing left to do but lean into the discomfort.
20.
Out my back window I can look into an office building. It’s an open workspace, several people sharing a big desk. I don’t rail against 9-to-5 the way I used to — I acknowledge and appreciate the advantages of regular employment a lot more nowadays — but it’s not something I’d like to go back to. Self-employment has been a rough road, but worthwhile.
Autumn in Amsterdam.
21.
Working inside alone all day, I try get out and do something social most evenings. Just back from a meetup at a bar nearby, met some good people there, including a couple of guys I’ll try stay in touch with. I’d like to have a core group of guy friends here that I see regularly, brothers on the path. Need more of that positive masculine energy in my life.
22.
I joined a gym on September 16. The fee was €110 for twelve months. I’ve been there 26 times already, yet to miss a weekday session. That works out to €4.23 per visit (so far). I asked the guy at the front desk how they stay in business at those rates. Apparently they have thirty-thousand members. Ninety-five percent of them never show up.
23.
I’ve got many things on automatic here now, freeing up time for work and social. I eat the same few meals over and over, have my grocery shopping down to two trips each week, can do my workout routine with eyes closed, have reminders set to take out the trash and water the plants, checklists to rip through every morning and evening.
24.
At a plein in Utrecht there are a dozen pairs of people sat on the ground, facing each other. I find a loner and plop down opposite. He’s about my age, with long hair and a welcoming vibe. We pass the next two minutes looking deep into each other’s eyes, no words, just a shared gaze and the occasional smile.
25.
Yesterday I was sold on a coat but walked out of the store without buying. I like to see how the shopkeeper treats me after he thinks he’s lost a sale. If he remains warm and pleasant, I’ll go back later and become his customer. But if he turns cold and shitty, we’re done. This morning it occurs to me that women might be doing the same thing when they withhold sex.
#workday
26.
I wish people knew how to better handle disagreements. In recent days I’ve had my character called into question and someone else told me to fuck off. What did they achieve with those words? The goal of communication should be to understand and be understood, but too often we settle for making ourselves feel big and the other person feel small.
27.
Took a class on Buddhism last night. I like a lot of the concepts, but the karma/reincarnation bit is hard for me to accept, comes across somewhat heartless (“Tough shit, you had it coming!”) and self-centered (“Check me out, bitches, all eternal and whatnot.”). Still, I did some digging online today and came away intrigued. That Ian Stevenson dude…
28.
Can you disagree with someone and still like/respect them? For most of us I think the answer is no. We take disagreements very personally. Saw it tonight at a meetup, one guy getting frustrated with another because they couldn’t see eye to eye. At a certain point you have to let go and move on. Persistence is futile.
29.
They don’t do the cash thing much here in the Netherlands. Last weekend I self-serviced a coffee at Central Station only to find I couldn’t pay with metal nor paper. Yesterday I went to a new mini-market around the corner and was told they only accept cards. Guess I should embrace it. I track my spending tight, needn’t worry I’ll get carried away.
30.
Gym streak over. Hadn’t missed a weekday since I joined but started coming down with a dose yesterday and poor sleep last night. Better to skip it and rest up. Passing on a night out with friends, too. Still got a good chunk of work done today, kept things ticking over. Productivity habits serving me well even on down days.
31.
Storytelling festival across the Ij. The two speakers tonight are great technically, but they’re telling us fables, featuring witches and banquets and talking skulls. Which is fine, but these tall tales anyone can tell. I’d much rather hear stories from people who lived through them, seeing with their own eyes and feeling with their own heart.
Autumn in Amsterdam.
In the comments below, let me know which of the above Momentos is your favorite. Which can you relate to?
