Niall Doherty's Blog, page 206
July 21, 2016
Momentos: July 1st – July 15th, 2016
We’re standing around chatting under a tarp, alongside a truck that’s been around Africa, when Savannah’s voice asks if we’d like to hold the snake. Sure enough, when we turn, there she is wielding a copper-colored creature that must be five feet long. And the answer is yes.
2.
Keeping an eye on them across the bar. They’re probably exchanging numbers. I should have made it clear earlier that she’s here with me. Thinking of going over there now to make amends but she seems to be enjoying herself. I leave town in three days so no right to be possessive. She’ll come home with me tonight; whatever happens after I’m gone is none of my business.
3.
You learn something new in each relationship. What have I learned in this one? Perhaps the biggest thing is that I was always holding back before. But with this girl I’m more myself than ever. I’ve said things in past relationships that drew head shakes and eye rolls, but those same things crack her up or turn her on. Two peas.
4.
Sun going down, walking hand in hand around my neck of the hood – bridges, kisses, glows from windows – saying goodbye. I’ll be leaving this town and this girl tomorrow. I’ve left towns and girls before, but this feels different. Less goodbye, more see you later.
5.
We’ve spent the last four nights together, making the most of the time we have left. Deadlines’ll do that. Now she’s at the station seeing me off, like a sweetheart. On the bus and talking on the phone through the glass, like two people in love. I don’t know, maybe we are. But is that enough?
Hanging with the legendary Tom McCann in Berlin.
6.
Wandering around Berlin today, looking at bland buildings, trying to figure out the metro and a sim card and where to buy groceries and all that tedious stuff… I’m well aware that leaving Amsterdam may have been a bad move. I’m also well aware that it may have been a great move. You make choices, and then you make the most of them.
7.
One of the best things I do for productivity: stay away from email/Facebook/text until the evening. That’s how I got 50+ lessons for 3M1K written in January, and that’s how I stayed focused and got lots of important shit today. So why don’t I use this blackout strategy more often? Because important work is scary and difficult. Checking email/Facebook/text is easy and familiar.
8.
I’m at a dimly-lit cafe with mismatched furniture, drinking tea with an Australian dude I first and last met in Colombia two years back. I thought he already knew my biggest secret, but he doesn’t, so I tell the story. It was formative, that experience. For a very long time it felt like a curse. Now I’m grateful to have gone through it all.
9.
It’s warm and after midnight and I’m walking towards Hackescher Markt with my jacket in one hand and a double-chocolate donut in the other. She’s in my ears from 400 miles away, asking if I miss her. And I say not yet, because that’s the truth; it’s only been four days. We don’t talk for very long after that.
10.
After a year in Amsterdam I had lots of demands on my time and energy. Once you get to know people in a particular place, it’s hard to make time for them all, tough to say no to frequent requests to hang or help out. These first few days in Berlin seem very free by comparison. Another reason why I’ve been getting a shit-ton of work done.
Lunch in Berlin.
11.
Hanging with a legend of a lady in Neukölln. This is the third country we’ve met in. She’s been here for two years now, showing me around. Easily one of my favorite things about this town so far is the abundance of good, cheap restaurants. You can get a solid, healthy meal in a thousand different eateries for €5 or less.
12.
Writing this from the common area in my shared Airbnb. There’s an Israeli programmer working across the table from me and two Russians cooking up a storm in the kitchen. In an hour or so I’m heading out to meet an Australian friend. We’re going to grab Turkish food and then throw a frisbee in the park. Starting to feel like a real-deal digital nomad again.
13.
Got invited to an informal digital nomad meetup this eve. Fascinating hearing the different ways money gets made. One guy sells niche tees by the truckload. Another builds software for a company that finds rightful heirs to unclaimed fortunes. The more you hear these stories, the more you realize how much opportunity is floating around out there.
14.
We haven’t been in touch much this week. I definitely broke something with those words on Saturday. Called her today while walking home through the park, an uphill conversation. She’s wary of me now. I was careful not to make any promises, but only in words. It’s the unspoken that’s been broken.
15.
I’ve been learning a bit of German, spending a half hour doing flashcards and duolingo in the mornings. But the hardest thing with a foreign language is forcing yourself to speak it, not getting flustered and retreating to English or silence. Got some practice in at the little lunch place down the street today, ordering mostly in German. Sehr gut ja.
Morning workout in Park am Gleisdreieck.
In the comments below, let me know which of the above Momentos is your favorite. Which can you relate to?
July 7, 2016
How Much Does It Cost To Live In Amsterdam?
I’ve now lived in Amsterdam for a continuous 12-month stretch (June 2015 to May 2016). During that time I tracked all my expenses, which I’ll share with you below.
We’ll also look at the following:
How much you can expect to pay in taxes living in the NetherlandsHow to find an apartment in Amsterdam
(By the way, I’ve been tracking my income and expenses since 2011. If you want to check out all my monthly finance reports since then, click here.)
Autumn in Amsterdam.
Some notes and disclaimers before diving in:
In this report I'm only listing expenses related to living in Amsterdam, so I've removed all my online business expenses, e-book purchases, online donations, that kind of thing.
During those 12 months I did take a couple of trips back to Ireland to visit family. I was probably out of town for three weeks total. I didn't separate out my expenses for those three weeks because it would be a pain in the ass to do so, but I don't think it makes much difference to the numbers anyway.
My expenses might be HIGHER than yours because…
I rented my own place in a central location. You can save big on rent if you live less central and share accommodation. (See below for tips on how to find an apartment.)
You may qualify for the 30% tax ruling while I didn’t. (More on this in the tax section below.)
My expenses might be LOWER than yours because…
I don’t drink alcohol, smoke cigarettes or do drugs.
I don’t eat out a lot.
I didn’t start paying for health insurance until midway through the year.
I work from home so I don’t have any commuting expenses.
Alright, let’s get to it…
Monthly Avg.
12 Month Total
Housing & Utilities 1
€ 1,259
€ 15,110
Food & Drink 2
€ 379
€ 4,547
Clothing
€ 83
€ 998
Health & Fitness 3
€ 75
€ 901
Miscellaneous Out & About 4
€ 46
€ 546
Travel & Transportation 5
€ 45
€ 541
Taxes & Admin 6
€ 44
€ 526
Electronics 7
€ 25
€ 294
Phone 8
€ 17
€ 205
Miscellaneous Household 9
€ 17
€ 201
Toiletries
€ 13
€ 156
TV/Cinema/Theater 10
€ 9
€ 110
Laundry 11
€ 3
€ 39
Total
€ 2,015
€ 24,174
€
2015
monthly average
€
24174
12 month total
If you’re not used to thinking in Euros, use the widget below to make sense of those numbers.
Currency Converter
Winter in Amsterdam.
"What About Taxes?"
Not included in my expense report above are income taxes, because I haven’t paid them yet.
But to give you an idea of what to expect, use this handy Dutch Income Tax Calculator.
Via that calculator, I worked out the following for the 2016 tax year…
Without 30% Ruling
WITH 30% Ruling
If you want to spend…
You need to earn…
€1,500/month
€1,833/month … €22,000/year
€2,000/month
€2,750/month … €33,000/year
€2,500/month
€3,583/month … €43,000/year
€3,000/month
€4,500/month … €54,000/year
If you want to spend…
You need to earn…
€1,500/month
€1,500/month … €18,000/year
€2,000/month
€2,083/month … €25,000/year
€2,500/month
€2,917/month … €35,000/year
€3,000/month
€3,667/month … €44,000/year
“What is the 30% ruling?”
It’s a massive tax break for highly skilled expats in the Netherlands. You should definitely look into it and see if it applies to you before you move here.
More info here: An in-depth look at the Netherlands’ 30% ruling
Street performers in front of the famous I Amsterdam sign.
How To Find An
Apartment In Amsterdam
I’ve only been on the hunt for an apartment in Amsterdam two times, which is of course a tiny sample size, but here’s what I have concluded from my own experience and from conversations with many expat friends who have sought accommodation in this city:
Looking for an apartment through formal channels is usually a waste of time.
By “formal channels” I mean newspaper classifieds, rental agencies, etc.
I have never received one email response or telephone callback despite dozens of inquiries made through such channels.
What has worked much better for me (and friends) is the following approach:
Spend your first week or two in Amsterdam staying in a hostel, hotel or AirBnB.During that time, go out and be extremely social. Meet and connect with as many people as you can and let them know that you're looking for a place to live.12Join these Facebook groups, scour the listings, and perhaps even post your own request.
facebook.com/groups/expatrepublic/
facebook.com/groups/amsterdam.apartments/
facebook.com/groups/Amsterdamapartmentrentals/
facebook.com/groups/woneninamsterdam/
facebook.com/groups/73609693602/
facebook.com/groups/182547965445/
facebook.com/groups/484600675031215/
facebook.com/groups/437146056338664/
“How much can I expect to pay for accommodation in Amsterdam?”
The following numbers are from Numbeo.com. Note that these prices do not include utilities.
Apartment (1 bedroom) in city center: €1,300
Apartment (1 bedroom) outside city center: €950
Apartment (3 bedrooms) in city center: €2,350 13
Apartment (3 bedrooms) outside city center: €1,600 14
Also according to Numbeo.com and some of my own research, utilities (gas/electric/wifi) are going to set you back anywhere from €100-300 per month.
Some other things to note:
I paid €1,150 (later €1,160) per month for the one-bedroom apartment shown in the video at the top of this page. It was 45 square meters, located just inside the canal belt (near Weteringcircuit), and all utilities (gas/electric/wifi) were included. That's about as good a deal as you'll find as an expat in Amsterdam.I have several friends renting nice, spacious apartments within the canal belt for less than €600/month. But don't get too excited: the only way to rent that cheap is through social housing, for which you must qualify and then sit on a waiting list for ten years or so. More info on social housing in Amsterdam here.If you plan to stay in Amsterdam long-term, consider applying for a mortgage and buying your own place. Mortgage rates in the Netherlands are relatively easy to obtain and you'll often end up paying much less per month on the repayments than you would if you were renting. Here's a good place to start if you're interested in buying property in Amsterdam.One final option is anti-squat, as described here:
Anti-squat companies or, in Dutch, anti-kraak are those (some say evil) companies that look for people to move into an empty building (usually an office of old school) to prevent it from being squatted. Anti-squatters have no rights at all. The company will let you know only one month in advance that you have to move out. This is clearly stated in the contract you sign. But, it’s very cheap. You only pay electricity. There is no furniture and you’d better not invest too much in decoration any way, because it’s possible you’ll be out on the streets again in a short while. It’s popular though, especially among students, so there are waiting lists.
Some anti-kraak companies: Zwerfkei and Ad-Hoc (also for artists workplaces).
Dutching it up a bit.
Alright, that’s all I’ve got for how much it costs to live in Amsterdam.
As mentioned earlier, I started tracking all my income and expenses back in 2011. If you’d like to peruse all my monthly finance reports since then – and see how I’ve earned and spent my money while working from my laptop and traveling to more than 35 countries – click here.
July 1, 2016
Momentos: June 16th – June 30th, 2016
I love New Orleans, but having lived in Amsterdam for the past year, I can’t help but compare the two towns, and NOLA doesn’t come out of that match-up looking good. The public transport sucks, lots of people living on the streets, obesity is rampant, and it’s hard to forget that any passing fool might be packing heat.
17.
But you know what, fuck all that. No place is perfect. Hanging with old friends today, seeing these two about to be married, I’m reminded of what makes this city special. I feel a warmth and a welcome here like few other places. Me and this town, we broke up six years ago, knowing it could never work long-term, but we’re still very much in love.
18.
Today I rode a streetcar, a fire truck, and a riverboat. Now it’s after midnight in the French Quarter. Silly me left my money and keys in the bridal suite, and the only way to retrieve them is to be the worst cock block of all-time. So I’ve got no money and no place to stay. Exciting times. Let’s see what happens…
19.
Rolling down St. Charles one more time, past grand porches and sculpted gardens, beneath the limbs of old oaks and alongside joggers on the tracks. I see no trouble and I feel no pain. This evening I’ll be in the company of good people, eat my own body weight in jambalaya, and witness LeBron James do the impossible.
20.
Long layover at Newark so I jump online for a bit to clear my inbox and catch up on some client work. A couple hours later I’m all caught up and have earned in excess of $100 from clients in Ireland and NZ. I knock back a couple of sleeping pills and head to the gate to claim a seat in the sky.
Wedding celebration in New Orleans.
21.
I’m wearing boxer briefs, a sailor hat, and fluffy puppy slippers while doing a ridiculous dance around the bedroom, Rod Stewart blasting. She thinks this is hilarious. I did miss her while I was out of town. We were texting regularly and sending pics back and forth. Together now, but only two more weeks until I leave town again, this time for good.
22.
Recently, when I announced my plan to leave Amsterdam, someone commented that I’m unlikely to find a life partner if I keep moving around so much. That may be true, but who said I’m trying to find a life partner? I’d like to eventually, but I’m in no rush. Getting coupled up isn’t my priority right now. If anything, I’m trying to avoid it.
23.
Pulling the trigger on the new business setup. After much research, I’ve decided to register in Wyoming of all places. No corporate tax as a one-person LLC, I can set it up remotely, and I won’t have to worry about VAT. The bank account is a little tricky but methinks I can swing it. Hoping to have it all sorted next week.
24.
Eleven cards laid out, and apparently they say I’m worried about money, I’m too work focused, possess a scarcity mindset, and I don’t believe in love or marriage. Before we began she told me to have a question in mind. Now she asks what it is and I tell her: “Is this complete bullshit?” I was leaning towards yes before. Nothing’s changed.
25.
We’re not boyfriend/girlfriend yet – and we won’t ever be since I’m leaving town soon – but we’ve reached that phase where it would feel disrespectful to go out and hook up with someone else. So I’m at this illegal bonfire without her, and there are opportunities about, but none I’m going to pursue. I’ll try to be a good wingman instead.
Sneaky bonfire somewhere near Amsterdam.
26.
Hitting the road again, nine days from now, but my backpacking days are over. Unlike my younger self, I’d rather not be limited to two pairs of shoes and a single jacket. So I bought a suitcase and did a practice pack this afternoon. Most of my stuff fits in there, but I’ll have to leave a few things behind. Like my blender. Sad face.
27.
A message in my inbox this morning, waiting to make me smile: “I barely know you; however, I want you to know you motivate people like me to be more proactive at taking that initial step to get out of that comfort zone. And sometimes that is all we need to begin a new adventure. Life is too short.”
28.
Down at Waterlooplein flea market, trying to offload some clothes I can’t take with me next week. I do the rounds asking each vendor if they buy second-hand, but no takers. I was hoping to get a few bob for a couple of sweaters and a coat I barely wore. In the end I settle for a guy willing to accept donations.
29.
One sure-fire way to lose my respect: lie repeatedly. A roommate once asked me to lie to his girlfriend so she wouldn’t find out he was cheating. Shitty on multiple levels. We’ve remained friends, but I’ll never trust him. Not fully. If someone’s willing to lie repeatedly to the person closest to them, it’s hard to believe anything they say.
30.
Early morning, didn’t get much rest. “I can leave if you want me to, so you can sleep.” I say nothing, get up and go to the bathroom. I sit there for a minute or two, thinking. Then I go back to bed and say yeah, you should go now. She says a single word, gathers her things and lets herself out. And I lay there for a while, unable to fall back sleep.
Night falls on the Amstel.
In the comments below, let me know which of the above Momentos is your favorite. Which can you relate to?
June 30, 2016
Thatcher, LeBron, Taboo Topics & F-Bombs (Over Beyond: Episode 005)
Over Beyond is a long-form podcast where I have the occasional meandering chat with my cousin over Skype and record it.
In this latest episode, we talk about politics, mindfulness, elitism, democracy, basketball, monogamy, and a bunch more related and unrelated topics.
Have a listen, and let us know what you think.
MP3 download available here (182MB, 2:06:13)
(Check out the podcast archive for previous episodes.)
Books We Mentioned
Other Links
The Guardian: Why Bad Ideas Refuse To Die
Video: Christopher Hitchens And Tony Blair Debate: Is Religions A Force For Good?
Website: vulture.com
Video: LeBron James leads Cleveland to first championship in 52 years
Article: How Draymond Green and Kevin Love wage war — on their weight
Documentary:
June 24, 2016
Momentos: June 1st – June 15th, 2016
A year since I arrived in Amsterdam. Things haven’t worked out how I envisioned – haven’t reached my financial goals and I’ll be leaving soon – but I can’t be mad. It’s been a good year. Lived in a nice apartment in my favorite city, befriended some great people, and spent most of my days exactly how I wanted.
2.
At a lively little tapas place, sitting outside under a heater with some drizzle on my cheek. Probably ordered too much food. She hasn’t eaten much. But we’re getting along well, flowing easy between the playful banter and serious chat. I haven’t tried to kiss her yet, but I will. Doesn’t much matter how she responds, but how I respond to her response.
3.
Nearing midnight as I cycle home, around the back of Central and up through Nieuwmarkt. I see tough guys in short sleeves and busty chicks in high heels. There’s the smell of marijuana and the glow of neon lights. Ray Charles is in my ears singing an old sweet song, and it somehow fits perfectly, floating on through like a dream on wheels.
4.
On a quiet bridge in Amsterdam, coming up on two in the morning. I’m stepping along the railing, showing off. She wants to try, so I take her hands and help her balance, hoping to fuck she doesn’t slip. That would really ruin the evening. But she does fine, and soon we’re back on firm footing. And though I’ve asked a dozen times already, I’m going to ask again.
5.
Leaving Amsterdam one month from today, that old familiar sense of urgency upon me. People to meet, things to do, experiences to have. I might have missed that feeling. You get a little complacent staying put in one place all the time, figuring you’ll do this or that eventually, there’s always more time. Until there isn’t.
Accidental color coordination with the legendary Jessica Lipowski
6.
Okay so all that rushing around at the weekend caught up with me today. Sluggish at the laptop, took two naps and fell off the 24-hour fast wagon. Ah well. No point beating myself up about it. Last month was great business-wise, and this month is off to a solid start. I deserve a break, a reward for all the hard work.
7.
Email from a 3M1K member asking for a refund, says he can’t devote the time to it right now. Fair enough. A half hour later I’m having tea with a guy who joined the course a few months back. He was barely making any money online at the start of the year. Now he tells me that he cleared €2k last month with his writing biz. Fair enough.
8.
The dating scene has been a lot more fun of late. And I wonder how much of that is due to me leaving town soon. Now I have a deadline, an excuse not to get too deep. Does that let me off the hook, have me taking more chances? I’m-leaving-town is an easier goodbye than I-just-don’t-want-to-see-you-anymore. Boundary issues surfacing again.
9.
Got out this morning and shot some b-roll. I’d like to do more of that, step up my YouTube game. I don’t want to get all fancy and have a million cuts in there, but it’s nice to show more of my surroundings, provide some context for my talking head. The main thing holding me back is the time it takes to edit it all.
10.
The thing about working for yourself is that you can be more flexible, but you need to be more disciplined. Well, generally speaking. Occasionally I let myself have a day like today, where I slept in until all hours – late one last night wink wink – and then caught up on work in the evening. No boss to call, no explaining to do. Good times.
NOLA sunset
11.
Evening meetup, a few dozen of us at this bar. The hottest girl here arrived on my arm, and we’ll leave together later. I can relax and chat with the guys and not worry about chasing tail. Still that gnawing though, that grass-is-greener syndrome. I don’t think it ever goes away, doubt I’ll ever be 100% satisfied. But I know it doesn’t have to control me.
12.
Collapsed on a couch in a scented apartment off Wibautstraat, all warm and sluggish, feeling like a koala looks. I can see the silhouette of a fern through the curtain. There’s a glass etched with blue butterflies sitting on the coffee table. A fat pigeon cooing on the balcony. Sounds of someone beautiful cooking breakfast for a lucky man.
13.
I have this friend on Facebook. He might be you, reading this now. He posts lots of well-meaning things, and then gets into debates in the comments. Respectful debates, except nobody debating is trying to understand where the other side is coming from. Everyone is too concerned with being understood, with being right. And nobody changes their mind.
14.
Flying is a pain in the ass. They herd you through security like cattle and there’s barely any leg room and they make you take your shoes off because of one nutjob fifteen years ago. But flying is also amazing. Today I had breakfast in Amsterdam and dinner in New Orleans, crossing 5,000 miles of sky in between. No matter how you slice it, that’s fucking magic.
15.
Sitting sipping a cold coffee, waiting out a rainstorm, thinking it’s a shame more people don’t chase their dreams, that most don’t even try. I’m at a bicycle-centric cafe in the CBD, a beautiful space. My friend Wes opened this place a few weeks back, a passion project, a dream come true. He worked hard, accepted the sacrifices, made it happen.
In the comments below, let me know which of the above Momentos is your favorite. Which can you relate to?
June 9, 2016
Momentos: May 16th – May 31st, 2016
Reminder: don’t take your thoughts or emotions too seriously when you’re tired. Best not make big decisions when your energy’s low. I’ve been dragging ass today, moving in slow motion, but I’ve been here enough to know it’s just one of those days. I’ll knock a few easy items off the to-do list, get a good night’s sleep, and be back at it full speed tomorrow.
17.
Definitely can’t continue with the rental situation here in Amsterdam. It’s not so much the price that I mind, but not being able to sublet. Next month, for example, I’ll be out of town for a week. If I could sublet I’d pocket €500 or more while I’m away. As it stands, I’ll be paying for an empty apartment. Looking for other options.
18.
Went to bed last night thinking I’d try find a job for a few months so I could secure a mortgage here, would cost less per month and then I’d be able to sublet, too. Woke up this morning thinking no, fuck that, I’ll just leave town instead. Too many sacrifices and expenses required to stay. I’ve had a good year here. Time to move on.
19.
Gave notice to my landlord this morning, brain in overdrive now trying to figure out next moves. Estonia? Romania? Tenerife? I won’t go full nomadic again – too exhausting – but would like to find a couple of places I could spend ~5 months a year in. No tax obligation that way. In theory at least. Hard to get straight answers on this stuff.
20.
If you could know in advance the date of your death, would you want to know? I would. If I had one more year as opposed to fifty, that would change my priorities quite a bit. The same way my priorities have changed now that I know I’ll be leaving Amsterdam July 5th. Time to start doing and seeing all those things I’d been putting off.
Boat party! More pics here. Thanks to my buddy Jonathan and Party With A Local.
21.
Alright, pretty much settled on Berlin now. I’ll probably head to Estonia first to get the business set up there, then to the German capital. Bigger city, thriving digital nomad community, fairly inexpensive, and I already know a few people there so not starting from scratch again with the social circle.
22.
Sorry, Estonia. This morning’s research session has Hong Kong emerging as the front-runner for my business registration. 0% tax and I wouldn’t have to worry about VAT either. I’ve lost €1,100 to VAT already this year since I absorb that cost on sales to European customers. Gotta make some calls first, but could well be heading to HK in July to get everything set up.
23.
Yesterday I was at a talk by a guy who runs a Dutch health website and does pretty well for himself. One article alone generates €2-3k a month for him. He talked about producing in-depth, authoritative content and marketing the bejesus out of it. Good to hear, since I’ve been inching down that path myself lately. Published this monster this morning.
24.
Hired another VA today. Had to talk myself down off a ledge yesterday as I was caught up thinking I needed to do a ton of outreach myself. Now I’ve hired someone for $15/hour to do most of that and I can use the free time to do some client work at $80/hour. It’s a no-brainer really, but still a struggle for me to let go and trust others to help out.
25.
About twenty of us on a party boat cruising the canals this eve, with drinks and music and a loudspeaker and a gay unicorn mask. Stopped off for a bite at a cruise-through pizza place, didn’t even have to step ashore. Then a little rooftop shindig afterwards with bubbles and the good chat. Gonna miss living in this town.
Uh oh! Two Irish men in Amsterdam.
26.
At dinner with a friend and she’s sharing something she’s noticed about me, something not altogether pleasant. I can feel my shoulders tense. I have that urge to shut down, so the hurt can’t get me. But I try to stay with her, listen to what she’s saying, see where she’s coming from. And you know what, after a while, I realize she has a point.
27.
Out with the lads, really not in the mood to go chatting up women after a long work day. But J’s a good wingman and he nudges me towards bright eyes and a pretty face. And it goes fine. She’s friendly and likes travel and ultimate and we chat for a bit. Turns out she has a boyfriend so no-go there, but glad I gave it a shot. Makes the next one easier.
28.
Back in my Bangkok days I’d make myself go out alone to a nightclub, head straight to the dance floor and just let rip. I eventually grew comfortable in that environment, thought little of taking a lady by the hand and making moves. But I’ve grown stale over the years, and scared. Now I’m timid on the dance floor, and that’s getting me nowhere.
29.
Half nine on a Sunday. Sitting here with incense burning, reflecting on the weekend. Wrapped it up at a bar off Leidseplein, had some flirty times and scored two numbers. Felt natural, almost effortless. But only because of the two nights that came before.
30.
Having a mild panic attack as I look at my to-do list this morning. Three client projects on the go, inbox looking cluttered, and a $1k penalty if I don’t get 400+ emails sent out in the next 36 hours. Okay, first order of business then: go take a nap. I’ll get everything untangled and renegotiated this afternoon with a clear head.
31.
3:27 a.m. Been at the computer for most of the past fourteen hours, getting those emails sent out and avoiding the $1k penalty. Mission accomplished. But I’m not sure the goal was a good one in the first place. The whole point was to build back links and get more traffic flowing. Will have to wait and see if that’ll happen now, but I’m feeling skeptical.
Dutching it up a bit.
In the comments below, let me know which of the above Momentos is your favorite. Which can you relate to?
May 24, 2016
Momentos: May 1st – May 15th, 2016
Feeling a bit stuck with the apartment situation here in Amsterdam. Subletting is illegal, so I can’t do the AirBnB thing when I’m out of town and earn €80-100 a night. I could give up the apartment, hit the road for a month, then try rent anew when I return, but I doubt I’d find something as good as this again. Fuck it. I’ll just get rich and buy a place. Problem solved.
2.
Back to Sarphatipark in the mornings with the weather warming up. Jog over, bit of a stretch, some time on the bars. Then precision jumping and balance work, followed by a few sprints. Stroll back through De Pijp, seeing the shopkeepers opening up, the market coming to life. Pause for a bit on a canal bridge with the sun shining through. Feel grateful that I get to live here.
3.
Not relying on my ever-wavering willpower to get it done, I told my Mastermind buddy last night that I’d get the sales page for 3M1K fully rewritten and published by the end of the week… or pay a €1,000 fine. With that fire toasting my buns, today I finished the first draft and opened it up for feedback.
4.
Added a new task to my morning routine, inspired by these wise words from Zig Ziglar: “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.” Going forward, each morning I’ll seek out something positive, something inspiring, and post it on the DtR Facebook page. Fuel for the fire.
5.
A real hardcore head-down no-fucking-around work day today. Shut off all the distractions, let the messages pile up, and immersed myself in crafting that sales page. Still a good chunk left to do on it, but methinks I’m on track to avoid the big penalty. Will need to put in a few hours on Saturday and Sunday, but that’s okay.
At the Rollende Keukens (Rolling Kitchens) festival in Amsterdam.
6.
What a shit night. And it ends with me home alone, unable to sleep, having a porn relapse and eating junk I’m not hungry for. Punishing myself. Self-destruct mode. And why? Frustrated that I let several more opportunities slip by at that bar. Realizing I can’t rely on myself to push interactions automatically. Gotta put the training wheels back on.
7.
At a friend’s place for a dinner party. Beautiful apartment, much bigger than mine, decent location, his mortgage costs less than my rent each month, and he can sublet for a small fortune when he’s out of town. Never though I’d be checking out mortgage rates so soon here in the Netherlands, but it sounds like a smart move.
8.
Today was the deadline, and I got it done. New sales page up, €1,000 saved. Amazing how much a penalty like that gets me motivated, how many things fall by the wayside when you have a gun to your head. You stop procrastinating, stop making excuses, clock in and do the work.
9.
Reading back over that entry from the 6th, and it strikes me how fast I bounced back. I went to bed sad and lonely and frustrated but felt right as rain and nare a derail the next day and on into this week. Before I hit the hay that night I stood in front of the mirror, looked myself in the eye, and reminded the guy in the glass that I love him no matter what.
10.
Some fecker buckled the wheel of my bike overnight. Brought it down to the bike shop at Heinekenplein today. After the usual great service from them last time, I posted a recommendation on Facebook and they caught wind of it, had a bottle of rum there for me when I called in again. Today they refused payment for fixing the wheel, so I went and bought them a 12-pack.
Dinner party. Homemade lasagne. Nom nom nom.
11.
I still keep up with the NBA stuff. Steph Curry has been phenomenal this season, and was today named the first ever unanimous MVP. Reading comments on YouTube though, I’m reminded what drove me away from writing about basketball years ago. So many haters. What sad lives they must lead.
12.
Comment from a 3M1Ker: “You don’t start by having a good day and then get lots done. First, you do something well, and then you get the inspired, happy day.” How true that is, and the same theme can be found in many situations. Trying to remind myself of that in the social sphere. Gotta go talk to people even when I don’t feel like it.
13.
What frustrates me more than anything is repeating the same mistakes over and over. For example, I know what it takes to do well in the dating scene, but I’ll often let myself fall in a rut and avoid doing the things that will get me out of it. That kills me. That self-sabotage, feeling unworthy of happiness and success. Didn’t fall for it today though. Today I did myself proud.
14.
Three hours of sleep last night but didn’t feel it today. It will probably catch up with me tomorrow or next week, but right now I’ve got fizz in my veins. It’s the assertiveness methinks. Going after what you want, speaking your mind, being more authentic… you’d think it’d tire you out but more often it energizes you.
15.
Went and did the tourist thing at Keukenhof, which was beautiful, all kinds of flowers I’d never seen before. Though there was the usual insanity on full display at such a popular spot. Lots of people experiencing the whole thing through their screens, and willing to trample each other for the perfect selfie. Silly humans.
A surreal scene at Keukenhof.
In the comments below, let me know which of the above Momentos is your favorite. Which can you relate to?
May 23, 2016
Cargo Ship Travel: Everything You Need To Know
In this article I’m going to tell you all about my trip across my Pacific Ocean on a cargo ship, and tell you everything you need to know about booking your own cargo ship adventure.
Table of Contents
The Pros & Cons Of Cargo Ship TravelMy Experience Crossing The Pacific Ocean On A Cargo Ship How To Travel For Free On A Cargo ShipHow To Book Cargo Ship TravelFrequently Asked Questions
The Pros & Cons
Of Cargo Ship Travel
Off the beaten track
Explore routes and coastlines most travelers will never see.
Solitude
Lots of time alone and without distractions. Spend it reading, writing, thinking.Lax luggage policies
No need to pack light or measure your suitcase to make sure it fits in an overhead bin. You can usually bring two big suitcases aboard at no extra charge.Experience life at sea
You’ll often be allowed visit the engine room, the bridge, and other interesting parts of the ship. You may also be invited to dine with the captain and crew and hear tales of pirates and booty.
Slow
An hour on a plane will get you as far as 24 hours on a cargo ship.
Expensive
Cargo ship travel will cost you about $100-120 per day. (Though you might be able to swing a free trip; see below.)
Boring
You’ll have little entertainment or social interaction. Most ships are without internet, you might be the only passenger, and the crew will be busy at work most of the day.Rougher ride
You’re more likely to experience motion sickness on a cargo ship than a cruise ship since cargo ships don’t use stabilizers.
My Experience
Crossing The Pacific Ocean
On A Cargo Ship
In early 2014 I traveled by cargo ship from Japan to Peru, with stops in Mexico and Panama along the way.
My route across the Pacific on a cargo ship.
The entire trip took 26 days and cost me $4,526 (including all associated banking fees, travel insurance, medical check-up, etc.).
26
days from Japan to Peru
$
4526
total cost (USD)
Below is a video I made about the trip.
In it you will see:
The facilities aboard the ship (cabin, lounge, gym, swimming pool, etc.). The type of meals I ate. Some beautiful sunsets. Dolphins frolicking on the waves. Me dancing like an eejit ¯_(ツ)_/¯
How To Travel For Free
On A Cargo Ship
Catching a free ride aboard a cargo ship is difficult, but not impossible.
I personally have never managed to score a freebie, so I reached out to Thor Pedersen of Once Upon A Saga for advice here.
Four things you need to know about Thor:
He is on a mission to visit every country in the world without flying.As of this writing, he’s more than halfway there. You can follow his progress here.He has enjoyed several free trips aboard cargo ships on his travels.He’s also partial to the occasional dance on the high seas.
I asked Thor for his best tips for scoring free trips aboard freighters, and here’s what he advised:
1
Ask The Right PersonNever ask the captain unless he is also the owner!
I find that captains find it slightly or massively annoying when travelers want to hitch a ride. It’s their “office” and they are rarely concerned with where you want to go. They just want to get “out there” and follow their routine.
The captain is much more likely to okay it when the company is asking.
So I advise to work out who owns the boat/ship and connect with them. With container carriers there is often a fleet manager. If you can’t find him on their webpage then a PR manager is also ideal.
I work out which boats go where by googling it, by calling port authorities or by going to the port. A ship’s name is often enough to find the owners online. If I’m in a small place (eg Caribbean) then people are usually willing to help and everybody knows everybody anyway.
2
Give Them A Good ReasonYou need to sell it!
Why should they bring you onboard?
I have quite a solid story: every country in the world without flying, returning home or spending less than 24 hours. People respond to that.
In addition I’m trying hard to advocate for the “normal” people of whom there are most. I try to prove that the world is a better place that what most people think. I try to adjust people’s perception on reality.
A lot of companies respond positively to that. They want to help. They want to take part.
3
Keep Calm And Carry OnI try to stay friendly, kind, patient, polite, charming, humble and I tend to smile a lot. I’m sure that helps too.
Important note
You absolutely cannot work aboard a cargo ship in exchange for passage. This may have been possible decades ago, but not anymore. Becoming a crew member on a modern cargo ship requires years of study and training.
How To Book
Cargo Ship Travel
If you’re happy to pay for your trip aboard a cargo ship, follow these steps to make a booking.
First, a tip...
It’s best to book far in advance since passenger cabins are limited on cargo ships and the most popular routes sell out quickly. Plan six months ahead to have a good shot at securing the trip you want when you want it.
1
Think about the experience you’d like to have
You can go pretty much anywhere by cargo ship nowadays. To narrow down all the available options, first think about what’s most important to you.
For example:
Do you want to travel by cargo ship just for the hell of it and don’t really care where you go?Are you trying to get to/from a specific port?Do you want to travel a particular route?
2
Explore options on these agency websites
It’s best to book cargo ship travel through a specialist travel agency. There are quite a few out there, but I recommend these five:
Maris Freighter Cruise and Travel ClubFreighter ExpeditionsCargo Ship VoyagesThe Cruise PeopleSea Travel Ltd.
It’s also worth checking for additional agencies in your home country or in the country you want to travel to/from.
For example, googling “Freighter Travel New Zealand” turns up freightertravel.co.nz. They’re likely to have more options available in that part of the world.
Browse each website and you’ll find tons of options available for cargo ship travel. Make note of those you like best.
3
Call/email to receive specific dates and prices
By now you should have a good idea of where you want to go and when.
The fastest way to proceed is to call/email each of the aforementioned agencies, tell them your requirements, and see what dates and prices they come back with.
Here are the contact details for each:
Maris Freighter Cruise and Travel Club
1800-99-Maris (USA)
Online contact from
Freighter Expeditions
+61 2 8270 4899 (Australia) enquiries@freighterexpeditions.com.au
Cargo Ship Voyages
+44 (0) 1983 30 33 14 (UK)
info@cargoshipvoyages.com
The Cruise People
+44 (0)20-7723 2450 (UK)
PassageEnquiry@aol.com
Sea Travel Ltd.
+44 (0) 203 371 9484 (UK)
mail@seatravelltd.co.uk
For example, I emailed The Cruise People to ask if they could help me get from Hong Kong to Australia, and they replied back with the following:
You can download the PDF that was attached to that email here. But please note that the information in that PDF may be outdated by the time you read this. Best contact an agent yourself to make sure you’re getting the latest info.
4
4. Confirm the details and make the booking
Once you find a trip you like the sound of, check the following before sending the deposit and securing the booking:
You have a valid passport or can get one in time for the trip.
You can acquire all the necessary visas for the foreign countries you’ll be visiting on the trip.You have all the required immunizations and medical certificates, or can get them in time for the trip. (Ask your agent what's required here.)
You can acquire proof of onward travel if necessary for the country you’ll be disembarking to (assuming you’re not a citizen of that country).
Once you have all that checked and you’ve sent your deposit, you’ll need to...
5
Get all your documentation in order
The exact documentation you’ll be required to submit will depend on which travel agency you book through and which shipping company you’ll be hitching a ride with.
To give you an idea of what’s involved, here’s a list of all the documentation I had to submit for my trip across the Pacific with Sea Travel Ltd. (the travel agent) and CMA-CGM (the shipping company).
All of these documents were transferred via email. I often had to print, fill out, scan, and email back.
You’ll usually be required to submit all of this stuff at least three weeks before your trip.
General Sales Conditions / Passenger Declaration
This was a list of CMA-CGM’s terms and conditions that I had to sign and date.
Indemnity Agreement
This was a legal document to cover CMA-CGM’s ass in case something went wrong while at sea.
You know, like Life of Pi.
Signed and dated.
Insurance Declaration
I had to provide details of my international travel insurance. I was insured with World Nomads at the time and that worked fine.
You may also be required to provide your Certificate of Insurance from your insurance company.
Medical Certificate
Must be filled in by a doctor no more than 30 days before sailing date, to prove that you’re fit and able to travel.
I went to a health clinic in South Korea and it was fine, just a simple check-up. I also sent them my receipt from the hospital just to be safe.
Note that if you are over 70 years of age some freighters will refuse to take you no matter how good your health is.
An onward ticket from country of disembarkment
If you’ll be disembarking in a foreign country, you may be asked to provide proof of onward travel, just like at an airport. I was required to provide such proof for Peru, so I went online and bought a cheap bus ticket from Peru to Ecuador. The email receipt was my proof, though I never ended up taking that bus.
Proof of required vaccinations
Usually this will be a copy of your yellow book.
I had to show that I had the yellow fever vaccination. Many cargo ship voyages will require that you at least have that one and it can cost $150 or more to get it in the Western World so be sure to factor that into your costs.
Your actual cargo ship ticket
The agent sends this to you with some details you need to fill in.
A copy of your passport
Which must be valid at least six months beyond your anticipated return date.
Copies of any required visas
Use this handy widget to check what visas you might need:
Note: You may only require a visa for the country you embark from, and the country you disembark to. For any short stops in between, you may be allowed off the ship for a few hours to go explore, even without a visa, just like the crew are usually allowed do. It’s best to check with your agent though to see if this will be true for you.
Emergency contact information
Name, address and telephone number of a friend or family member who should be contacted in case you hit an iceberg or something.
Frequently Asked Questions
“Why is it so expensive to travel by cargo ship?”
Best I can figure, it’s because the freighter companies don’t care. They’re carrying multimillion dollar cargoes, and they only have room for a handful of passengers on each ship.
It’s not exactly big business for them, so they probably charge a high price to make it worth their while.
“Are there cheaper alternatives for traveling by sea?”
Yes.
Regular cargo ship travel will usually cost you $100/day.
Cheaper options:
You can try score a free ride using Thor’s tips above.
Check CruiseSheet.com for really great deals on cruise ships, some as low as $47 per day.
Here’s a nice repositioning cruise I found from Spain to Florida later this year…
Register on FindaCrew.net and try find yachts and sailboats on the routes you’re looking for.
Many boats will take on newbies as part of the crew, so you can scrub decks and peel potatoes in exchange for passage.
You can find paying positions on there, too – and thereby make a little money on the high seas – though you’ll usually need some solid experience to swing that.
Here’s a listing I found on Find a Crew just now for a sailboat heading from Panama to the Pacific Islands and looking for crew…
And here’s a little promo video for Find a Crew:
Two things to be aware of with sailboats:
Getting from A to B by sailboat will usually take a while. Panama to French Polynesia, for example, can take 54 days by sailboat (according to this report), whereas your average cargo ship would cover that distance in about two weeks.
Smaller boats tend to feel the motion of the ocean a lot more, so there’s a much higher chance of seasickness.
Bring along some Dramamine and avoid this fate!
“Can I work aboard a cargo ship in exchange for passage?”
No. Modern union rules don’t allow it. You need to be trained and qualified nowadays to work aboard a cargo ship.
“What is there to do aboard a cargo ship?”
Not a lot, to be honest.
I mostly kept busy with the following activities:
ReadingWriting (I wrote an entire book while crossing the Pacific)
Exercise
Studying Spanish
Exploring the ship and chatting with the crew
Watching the occasional movie
If the weather is good, you can also find yourself a nice spot out on deck and work on your tan.
“What are the meals like?”
I was on a French ship with a French chef, so the meals were quite good. Lunch and dinner were both three courses and served by the chief steward on a white table cloth.
Breakfast was a help-yourself affair with cereal, bread, eggs… that kind of thing.
That said, you should expect the quality of the cuisine to vary greatly from ship to ship.
Also, to be clear, you don’t pay anything extra to eat while aboard the ship. All your meals are included as part of the $120/day or whatever you pay up front.
Somewhere in the middle of the Pacific Ocean: a typical dinner aboard the CMA-CGM La Traviata.
“What is the accommodation like?”
Again, this will vary from ship to ship, but you can expect most passenger cabins to be quite nice, akin to a decent hotel room.
My cabin aboard the CMA-CGM ship was quite spacious, with a double bed, a sofa, a private bathroom, and a big desk.
Here’s a 30-second video tour of it:
“What other facilities and services can I expect?”
Don’t expect Internet access.
Most ships have satellite internet access nowadays but usage is heavily restricted. I could only send and receive email via a custom address CMA-CGM set up for me. The system would save all the emails and send/receive in batches twice a day.
Aside from that, it’ll depend on the ship you’re on.
My cabin was cleaned once per day and I had access to washer and dryer to do my own laundry.
There was also a little fitness room on board for exercise, a small swimming pool for splashing around in, and they had a big closet full of DVDs that I could watch in the private passenger lounge.
Many ships will have a “slop chest” where passengers and crew can buy cigarettes, beer, toiletries, etc. Payment is usually only accepted in cash USD.
The fitness room aboard the CMA-CGM La Traviata. Table tennis was tough when the waves got rough.
“Will I have much interaction with the crew and other passengers?”
You won’t have a ton of interaction with the crew as they are essentially working full-time jobs while aboard the ship. If there are other passengers, you can of course befriend them and wile away the hours together.
On my trip across the Pacific, I was the only passenger and so had several hours a day to myself.
Depending on the ship, you may get to dine with the crew and interact with them regularly that way. I was invited to dine at the captain’s table for dinner on Sundays, but other than that I was eating alone at my own table.
I was allowed to visit the bridge anytime I wanted – the captain gave me the code to the door – so I was able to wander up there and chat with whichever two guys were on duty. (Two people always had to be present on the bridge when the ship was in motion.)
The view from the bridge as we approached the Panama Canal.
“Is a cargo ship a good place to pick up chicks?”
Uh, no.
Female crew is a rarity.
All 33 crew on the ship that took me across the Pacific were male.
Twas just me and a boatload of seamen :-/
The lunch and dinner menus were presented like this every day aboard the ship, always with a saucy pic.
“Will I be allowed to explore the ship freely?”
Probably not.
I wasn’t allowed out on deck alone for the first few days at sea because conditions were a bit rough. Later I was allowed go out for a wander but had to notify the bridge before and after.
As mentioned, I was given the code for the door to the bridge so I was allowed go up there whenever I wanted and chat with whoever was on duty.
To see the engine room and other interesting parts of the ship I had to be accompanied by a crew member. Which was actually better, because they were able to show me some cool stuff and explain how it all worked.
All the engine power aboard the CMA-CGM La Traviata goes into turning this propeller shaft. The propeller weighs 98 tonnes and can move the vessel along at a top speed of 25 knots. Our average speed was about 19 knots though. We covered 800+ kilometers per day, approximately 10,000 kilometers overall from Japan to Peru.
“What should I bring with me aboard a cargo ship?”
Some suggestions:
Lots of reading material
A laptop with some movies and TV shows loaded up and ready to watch
Seasickness tablets
Toiletries
Sunscreen
A power converter 1
“What are some other things I should be aware of?”
Age
If you’re over 70 years old, some companies will refuse to take you as a passenger. Many companies will also refuse to take young children.
Luggage
Most companies will let you bring two big suitcases aboard per person at no extra charge, but nothing much beyond that. For example, if you wanted to bring your car or motorcycle along for the ride, that’s likely to cost you $500 and up, plus customs charges.
Pets
Sorry, no cargo ship company I know of will let you bring pets aboard. Try Pet Movers instead.
Americans
If you’re a US citizen you’re not allowed travel by cargo ship between one US port and another.
Proper Attire
This gentleman will see you right…
Getting Off The Ship
Often your ship will stop at many other ports along the way to your destination. You may not be allowed get off the ship at these ports. And even if you are allowed, you won’t have much time to go explore, usually a few hours at the most. Check in advance with your agent how much freedom you’ll have here.
No Fixed Schedule
Cargo ships can get held up in port by bad weather or other factors. In Japan I had to wait a couple of days longer than expected before embarking, and arrived in Peru later than expected.
Sunset crossing the equator, somewhere off the coast of Ecuador.
“Is it more environmentally friendly to travel by cargo ship?”
I’d have to say no.
It took me 26 days to get from Japan to Peru on a ship that burned about 6 tonnes of fuel per hour. That’s 3,744 tonnes of fuel total.
Alternatively, I could have spent 19 hours on a plane to move between the same locations. A 747 burns about 10 tonnes of fuel per hour, so that works out to only 190 tonnes of fuel total.
Of course, both the cargo ship and the plane are going to make those journeys whether you’re on them or not, so your choice doesn’t make much difference either way.
In general though, according to a Defra study noted in The Guardian, transporting goods by by sea is 44 times more efficient than transporting them by air.
Unloading La Traviata in Peru.
“Am I likely to encounter rough seas aboard a cargo ship?”
It depends on two things: the weather and the size of the ship.
The bigger the ship, the less you’ll feel the rolling. And you’re unlikely to encounter any bad storms since they see them coming and steer around them. (For example, we shifted course across the Pacific to avoid a storm near the Hawaiian islands.)
That said, there were nights where it was difficult to sleep because of the rolling.
I found that the “soldier’s crawl” position was the best to adopt to get some shut-eye.
Soldier’s crawl: the best sleeping position for rough seas.
What Else Would You Like To Know About Cargo Ship Travel?
Is there anything you want to know about cargo ship travel that I didn’t cover in this article?
Drop a comment below with any additional questions you have and I’ll reply ASAP.
You can also ask me a question privately via this page or check out my book to read lots more about my experience circumnavigating the globe without flying.
May 12, 2016
Push + Shove: A Highly Effective 2-Step Strategy For Becoming More Productive
Today I want to share with you the most effective strategy I’ve ever come across for getting things done.
It’s very simple, it takes less than five minutes a day, and you can start doing it yourself right away and see immediate results.
Use this strategy to:
Build an online businessExercise more oftenOvercome procrastination
Form good habitsKill bad habitsGet important things done
In short, this strategy will help you achieve whatever goal(s) you might have.
There are two parts to it:
1
THE PUSH
Find And Utilize An Accountability Partner (AP)
2
THE SHOVE
Set Painful
Penalties For Failure
Before we dive deeper, let me give you a couple of examples of how it works.
Example 1
Going To The Gym
Say your goal is to go to the gym 3 times per week but you struggle to get your ass down there.
To make it happen, you do these two things:
The Push: Tell your AP that you’re going to go the gym 3 times per week. You agree to message them at the end of every week and let them know how many times you actually went.
The Shove: Any time you miss going to the gym, you agree to pay a $500 penalty.
Example 2
Forming The Writing Habit
Say you want to develop your writing skills but you find it hard to sit down and write every day.
To make it happen, you do these two things:
The Push: Tell your AP that you’ll write for at least 30 minutes each morning and produce at least 500 words. You agree to email them a screenshot of your writing plus a word count before 9am each day.
The Shove: Every time you fall short of the 30-minute/500-word mark, or neglect to email your AP before 9am, you agree to pay a $500 penalty.
Example 3
Weaning Yourself Off Netflix
Say you’re very prone to frequent Netflix binges and you want to drastically reduce the time you spend on there.
To make it happen, you do these two things:
The Push: Tell your AP that you’ll watch no more than 1 hour of Netflix per day during the week. You agree to message them at the end of every day and tell them what show you watched and for how long.
The Shove: Each day you go over the 1 hour mark, you agree to pay a $500 penalty.
Now let’s dive into the nitty-gritty of all this.
First we’re going to talk about how to find and utilize an Accountability Partner, and then we’ll talk about how to use penalties effectively.
The Push
How To Find & Utilize An Accountability Partner
Note: this section is pulled from my course called 3M1K, which teaches you how to build your first online business.
I’m always coming up with ideas for great new projects I could work on.
It’s a gift and a curse, because if I’m not careful, I end up with too many chainsaws in the air and not enough hands to catch them.
And when that happens, inevitably, they all come crashing down.
I fell into this trap while building this very course.
For some reason I thought it would be perfectly fine to work on some client projects and try write a series of books at the same time.
Of course, this was a recipe for disaster.
But I couldn’t see it.
Or maybe I should say: I wouldn’t let myself see it.
Then I had a call with my friend Mark, a very savvy online entrepreneur. We jump on Skype once a month, talk about our wins and sticking points, try offer each other advice and hold each other accountable.
On this particular call I was describing all the projects I had going when Mark stopped me mid-sentence.
— Sorry to interrupt, he said, but is there any good reason why you’re doing all of these things at the same time?
There wasn’t.
There never had been.
But until Mark asked that question, I was unable to see my own madness and self-sabotage.
He shone a light on it and made it impossible to ignore.
On that very call I resolved to drop everything else I had going on and focus one hundred percent on building this course.
And that’s what I did.
The #1 Reason You Need An Accountability Partner
Richard Feynman tells us...
The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool.
That’s why you need an Accountability Partner.
It’s too easy to bullshit yourself and make excuses as to why you’re not doing what needs to be done. But a good AP won’t let you get away with that.
They’re going to ask you the tough questions that you’ve been afraid to ask yourself.
And you need that.
It sucks. But you need it.
How To Be A Great Accountability Partner
How does James Bond get all the hot chicks?
By being amazing himself.
Same goes for finding a great AP: you first need to become one yourself.
This requires you to develop and practice three primary habits.
1
Accountability
Duh.
But it’s important not to gloss over this.
Being a great AP means holding the other person accountable. You must ensure that they follow through on their commitments, that they do what they said they were going to do.
For example, a big part of your accountability system will be frequent check-ins with your partner. If she’s supposed to check in with you each morning before 9am but you haven’t heard from her by 9:30, you need to be shooting her a text/email/phone call to see what’s going on.
You NEVER want your AP to feel like they can get away with skipping a check-in, or failing to honor some other commitment they made.
2
Courage
Being a good AP means calling the other person on their bullshit.
If they’re frequently making excuses or shooting themselves in the foot, you need to speak up and deliver a little tough love.
It’s easier not to do this. It’s tempting to just pat them on the back and avoid rocking the boat. But if you want them to do it for you, you have to do it for them.
Whenever you have a question you’re afraid to ask, or an observation you’re afraid to make, that’s when you most need to speak up.
Keep this quote in mind:
Tim Ferriss
A person’s success in life can usually be measured by the number of uncomfortable conversations he or she is willing to have.
You also need to be courageous in owning up to your own failures and setbacks. Strive to be brutally honest about your progress or lack thereof. Your partner will help you figure out why you got stuck and how to move forward, but they can only do that if you’re straight with them.
3
Kindness
This is to balance out the courage.
Anyone can be courageous. But to be courageous and kind at the same time is rare and valuable.
In practice, this means recognizing what your partner needs most from you at a given moment. Sometimes they’ll need a push, and sometimes they’ll need a hug.
You should be ready and able to offer either.
How To Find A Great Accountability Partner
Maybe you already have someone in mind for this. But a word of warning from 3M1K member Hazel:
Find someone neutral to become your buddy, rather than an existing friend. You see, we care for our friends, so we don’t want to hurt them. There is a tendency that your friends will tell you it’s okay to miss a goal today because they don’t want to make you feel bad. That’s exactly what you don’t want!
Two places you can try find an AP:
1
Networking Events
Especially events related to personal development. You’ll find lots of growth-oriented people there.
Work the room, find someone who seems to have their shit together, and ask them if they’d be interested in becoming your accountabil-a-buddy.
2
Online Forums
Same as the previous but online. You can afford to go more niche here. For example, if business-building is your focus, then join one of the many free Facebook groups for entrepreneurs. Choose an active one and post in there that you’re looking for someone to be your AP. You can link to this article for context.
For #2, include the following details in your post:
Some quick info about you (age/sex/location/etc).
What you can offer as an AP. What you’d like an AP to help you with. Call to action.
Here's an example:
I’m a 34-year-old guy from Ireland, currently living in Amsterdam and I’m looking for an online Accountability Partner. If you don’t know what I mean by “Accountability Partner,” it’s basically someone who who helps ensure I follow through on my goals, and I help do the same for them.
(See here for a deeper explanation: http://www.ndoherty.com/ps/)
I can be a great accountability partner by helping you stick to a schedule, by holding you accountable to your goals, and by helping you brainstorm ideas and talk through sticking points.
If I see you slacking off I promise to crack the whip 
May 1, 2016
Momentos: April 16th – April 30th, 2016
Last Saturday I was out and about loving life as a bachelor. Today I feel a deep yearning for someone sweet and long-term to curl up on the couch with. I think of several amazing women who’ve offered me that kind of relationship over the years, and how I’ve turned them all down. Some days, like today, the loneliness hits hard. But not the regret. At least not yet.
17.
It is weird, this being human thing. There’s that urge to grow and progress and be better than before. Or maybe it’s not an urge. Maybe it’s just a paradigm we’ve all bought into. No other animal worries about maximizing its potential, about getting the most out of life. A cat can lie about all day and not feel like a loser.
18.
Coming up on a year since I moved to Amsterdam, gave up the vagabond lifestyle and settled in one place. I’ve enjoyed living here, but I thought I’d be further along business-wise by now. I figured the main thing holding me back was lack of routine, lack of focus, but perhaps there’s more to it than that.
19.
You know how we look back at our younger selves and roll eyes at things we did and things we wish we hadn’t done? I wonder what things I’m doing and not doing right now that will have my eyes a-rolling a decade down the line. I’ll probably be thinking a lot different about business and relationships by then. But different how?
20.
Squeezing in client work between Skype calls. I’m trying to do a minimum of two paid hours per day at my €75/hour rate. Manage that consistently and I’m cracking €3k per month just from freelancing, with plenty of time left over to focus on marketing 3M1K and building other products. Simple in theory, but it’s always a bit messy in reality.
Kayaks on a canal in Amsterdam.
21.
Almost three months since I launched 3M1K. Sales haven’t been as steady as I’d like, but the results and feedback from those who signed up have been encouraging. Next month I need to kick the marketing into high gear, do a big push for guest posts. I’ll try get quality articles published on popular sites, sending new leads my way.
22.
Maybe like me you often get caught up thinking you must do big things to make an impact, to move people. But nah, it’s more about doing the small things, consistently. Wrote a quick piece about sobriety for my mailing list today, nothing fancy, just raw and truthful. Sent it out and got some nice responses. Impact made, people moved. Good reminder for myself.
23.
Evening in Dam Square and I stand and watch and listen. Seeing things happening, thinking of things that happened. The birth of this town, a funfair across the way, Napoleon on a white horse, tulips swaying in the breeze, drunk Nazis shooting into a crowd, tourists walking where philosophers and kings and hippies walked before.
24.
I think happiness is overrated. We all have different happiness baselines, and a bit of sadness and grief is good for you every now and then. Today alone all day in my apartment I can’t say that I’m happy, but I am content. I’m healthy, warm, well-fed and rested, with meaningful work and time with friends ahead of me this week.
25.
Teddy Roosevelt once wrote, “I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well.” I like to remind myself of those words whenever I’m feeling stuck or frustrated, though of course I recognize the vanity in it; compared to most people on this rock, I’m living a charmed life.
The never-ending Winter :-(
26.
Bike’s got a flat. Seems some fecker stole the insert of my valve stem. I’m late to meet friends and no bike shops open at this hour. So I walk the block, find another fiets with a flat and pay forward the thievery, figuring that bike’s not going anywhere anyways. Mentioning it here so I’m more likely to make amends later.
27.
Don’t know, maybe I’m getting tired of the single life. Out and about for King’s Day and didn’t have the buzz to go chatting up chicks, would have preferred someone familiar by my side. Not sure I’ve felt it this strong since three years back in Bangkok, right as I was souring on the dating scene there, right before I fell in love.
28.
When I was an employee I loved a day off on a Wednesday. Now, being self-employed, it kinda sucks. Trying to get back into the work stuff today was a massive struggle. Farted around and didn’t get a whole lot done. Wondering if there’s something bigger wrong here. Such low energy. Diet maybe? Or just burnt out on the trying…
29.
Sometimes I think of running away from Amsterdam. It’s not the cheapest city, and summer is taking its sweet ass time arriving. I could pack everything and move to Thailand next week, save about €800/month on rent alone. But no, I need to stick it out. Had my fill of moving in recent years. No place is perfect. Neither am I. Gotta accept that.
30.
She’s telling me about a retreat she just got back from. They explored and embraced their sexuality, their wildness. One time she held space in front of the group, letting her body move. Several men tried to meet her there, to match that energy. None could… but one. Only he could claim her. I ask because I want to know: what did he have that the others didn’t?
Rollicking about on King’s Day.
In the comments below, let me know which of the above Momentos is your favorite. Which can you relate to?
