Niall Doherty's Blog, page 202
May 2, 2017
Momentos: April 16th – April 30th, 2017
MOMENTOS
April 16th – April 30th, 2017
16
Today was cheat day, so I ate ten slices of toast, five chocolate bars, one big easter egg, a bunch of small chocolates, a slice of apple tart, a slice of banoffee pie, a ham and cheese sandwich with mayonnaise, a handful of crisps, all washed down with several cups of tea. Feels good to indulge with no limits every so often. And now, I don’t want to see any crappy food for at least a week.
17
Reunion with some folks I used to work with in a department store fifteen years ago. That was a different track I was on back then, before I took life by the horns. I remember being in that job and envisioning myself at sixty if I didn’t make some changes, take some chances. Many people would have been content with that vision, they wouldn’t have changed a thing. Not me. I knew it wouldn’t be enough. Sitting here today, I’m very glad I made those changes, took those chances.
18
Driving back from Cork, about midnight now and barely a car on the road, singing aloud to Muse and Frank Sinatra to stay awake. Almost forty people showed up for my talk this eve, had to change venue last minute to accommodate them all. They seemed engaged, interested, stayed for the duration. More of this is in order.
19
That image of her as I closed the door to her room this evening, sitting on the bed, her back to us. “Thanks for coming. Bye bye.” She’s happy and comfortable there, knows she can’t live at home anymore. But it’s still sad, seeing her mental and physical health deteriorate. Her husband, my grandfather, died thirty years ago, but at least he went suddenly in his sleep. Let’s hope we get the best of both, that we live long and die fast.
20
Here’s something I like to believe, even though it’s (probably) not true: that reincarnation is real and each time around you get to choose your experience. So everything that happens to me in this life, my wiser, timeless self asked for exactly that, knew it would be worthwhile for me somehow. The highs and the lows, the ebbs and the flows. I wanted it all.
Country jumper
21
Out wandering the fields for a few hours this afternoon, across clay and crop and grass, over ditches and through woodland, seeing cows and horses, bees and bluebells, roaming the ruins of houses and barns where once there was life and love and big wheels carved by hand from the hillside. But now it’s all gone and long forgotten.
22
“I was in Vietnam once,” he says. Oh cool, me too. When were you there? “Nineteen sixty-seven.” During the war? “Yeah, I was there for two weeks, got shipped out because they put a bullet in me, went in this side” – he points to his waist – “and out the other. Lucky to be alive.” Wow. That’s incredible. My experience there was a bit different.
23
Missing that girl. Maybe too much. Don’t want to get all hyped up to see her, as if Wednesday will come and we’ll meet in Moscow and all will be right with the world. Because she’s human and I am too and relationships are never perfect. But still, I miss her, and Wednesday can’t come fast enough. Been four weeks since we kissed goodbye in Girona.
24
Another talk, Waterford this time, and again almost forty people turned up. But I was sluggish for this one, felt tense, didn’t bring the same playfulness and enthusiasm to it, and the audience responded in kind. Or at least that was my impression. They still seemed interested and stuck around for the duration, but not the same positive vibes. Totally my fault that. I can do better.
25
I did better. Gave a talk in Dublin tonight, was a lot more revved up for it, felt much more confident. I think part of it last night was using a microphone. Not used to that, and it threw me off a bit. Something I’ll have to get comfortable with. Tonight though it was a smaller space, no mic needed. Felt that good kind of tired walking through the city after, lights shining on the Liffey.
Giving a talk at Boxworks coworking in Waterford
26
Off the train from the airport, en route to meet that girl with the green eyes and golden smile. It’s a dark and wet evening in Moscow, muted colors, rugged streets. My luggage is still in Helsinki and my phone’s not working. I approach a security guard at the station. “Costa Coffee,” I say, with a question mark at the end. He shrugs and looks away. And I just stand there, waiting for something to happen.
27
I knew Moscow was expensive, but was surprised to learn that it’s the ninth most expensive city in the world. Makes sense then that I’m paying €55 per night for a shared apartment with a creaky sofa bed and an uncurtained window above a train track. I’ll be eating lots of noodles these next four weeks.
28
Moved to a better apartment today, a 45 minute walk through the grey and drizzle with everything I own. At one point I passed a big office building and saw all the 9-to-5ers huddled outside, on coffee and cigarette breaks, their day dictated by someone else’s clock. I checked in to my new place around the corner, got groceries nearby in a quiet supermarket, then went and had a nice nap for myself.
29
Approaching Red Square with the sun already down. There’s a fire burning outside the Kremlin that’s never put out. A little to the left and we see through an arch the candy-land domes of a five-hundred-year-old cathedral, behind which public executions were once held. Across from the tower there’s a stone platform known as the place of skulls. And myself and a thousand other tourists stop and smile for selfies.
30
Got asked in the comments if me and my girl are exclusive. I didn’t reply, because it annoyed me and I considered it disrespectful, like walking up to someone on the street and saying, “Hey, you don’t know me, but do you and your partner fuck other people?” But then I got to thinking that there must be something to the question if it bothered me so much.
Exclusive
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April 20, 2017
Momentos: April 1st – April 15th, 2017
MOMENTOS
April 1st – April 15th, 2017
1
Usually I avoid reading and watching political stuff, because it can make you crazy and hostile, but today I let myself get immersed in goings on in the US, read up on everything Trump has been doing and saying the past few months. And I must say, he’s doing much better than expected. He still has plenty of haters and detractors, but objectively speaking, he’s been a capable and reasonable president thus far. I stand corrected.
2
A big, unshaven Spanish man is asking me to show him the other thing I mentioned. I hesitate for a second, then drop my shorts and underwear, turn around and bend over. “I don’t see it,” he says. I make an adjustment and hear him say, “Ah, okay. I see it. You can dress now.” We return to his desk and sit at opposite sides. For a minute the only sound is him tapping on his keyboard.
3
Recorded an interview last night with Conor from the Everyday People podcast. Good dude. Got me thinking about moments that have shaped who I am. A big one was that time I picked up a basketball at my cousin’s house when I was 13 or 14 years old. That changed everything, greatly influenced my career choice and led me to New Orleans, where I started to become a man.
4
Two weeks ago I wrote how sales were slow for 3M1K. Now five have come through in an eight-day span. Not sure if I’ve turned the corner or just a fluke. My goal is to have at least ten per month consistently by the end of 2017. That would make it a viable business, which it hasn’t been so far this year.
5
Haven’t been taking care of myself enough lately so set a new goal with my Mastermind buddy: every day, between now and May, I must do five minutes of breath work (basic Wim Hof routine), ten minutes of exercise and/or stretching, and finish every shower with at least thirty seconds of maximum cold. Any day I slip up will cost me $200.
Time lapse of a little 20-minute beach workout I did yesterday in Las Palmas as the sun was going down.
Posted by Disrupting the Rabblement on Friday, 7 April 2017
6
On a big-time upswing. Was Netflix bingeing last week, zoned out, dragging. Now I’m in full-on build-create-connect mode, oozing energy and interest, no time for Dexter, checking boxes and shaking hands and planning world domination. Two more sales of 3M1K came through today, afternoon coworking, sunset beach workout, dinner with a friend, chat with my girl, emails til midnight. Go go go.
7
This morning at a crosswalk I saw a woman run over to a friend stopped at the light to give her a hug and a kiss through the car window, smiles galore. I’ll miss that about Spain. The physical warmth and affection. That little touch on the arm that men give each other here, every hello or goodbye incomplete without it. Then again, I’m writing this on the plane back to Ireland, wishing the fat dude in the next seat would give me a little more space.
8
Chatting with an old friend about my new lady. “What age is she?” I tell him. “She’s too young,” he says, with the insinuation that it’ll never work. And I just smile and let him keep talking. No urge to explain or justify or change his mind. What he thinks of my relationship is none of my business.
9
I started shaving approximately 20 years ago. At two times per week, that’s 2,000 shaves to date, give or take. I’ve done it a lot. I’m very experienced. Yet I, like pretty much every other man, still cut myself sometimes. Simple things that should be automatic, we somehow manage to fuck them up occasionally. Probably best then that we don’t trust ourselves too much, even with simple things.
10
Decided to do a few talks while I’m home in Ireland for the next two weeks, see if I can help and inspire a few people and spread the word about 3M1K. Going to try hit up Waterford, Cork and Dublin. And so I don’t spend forever planning and organizing these things, asking myself the question, “What would it look like if it were easy?”
Reliving teenage years with the Cuz. Pizza and old-school NBA and staying up late.
11
Idea to execution, fast as possible. Have the Dublin and Cork events lined up, venues secured, dates set, invites sent. Waterford is looking good, too, just need to confirm the details. My answer to that question yesterday? Inquire at established venues and reach out to connected people. They’ve already done the hard work of creating spaces and building communities.
12
Someone asked about my 8-minute workout routine, with no equipment. It’s pretty simple. First stretch for 5-10 minutes. Next, pick 5 different body-weight exercises (examples below). Use an app like Interval Timer and set it to 20 seconds on, 10 seconds off. Then proceed like this:
20 seconds push ups
10 seconds rest
20 seconds plank
10 seconds rest
20 seconds lunges
10 seconds rest
20 seconds burpees
10 seconds rest
20 seconds dips
40 seconds rest
Repeat 2 more times
Go as hard as you can and you’ll be wrecked by the end of it.
13
Ten sales for 3M1K now in 2.5 weeks. That’s the goal reached. Just need to keep it going consistently. With these talks lined up and the content work I’m doing, finally starting to feel like everything is coming together and all the hard work is paying off.
14
Too many people hate their jobs, like this girl serving me in the cafe, obviously tired and pissed off and wanting to be somewhere else, anywhere else. It’s a chronic problem the world over: people doing work they dislike just to make a bit of money. Often not even good money. You’d think we’d have figured this out by now. Instead the majority are still slaving away.
15
Five us at the table, just like it used to be. This is rare nowadays. I’m reminded of that Wait But Why article. We used to do this almost every day of my childhood. Maybe 300 times a year for fifteen years. How many times will we experience it again? Once a year for another twenty? If we’re lucky. We’re at the tail end. Put away your phone, pause and appreciate.
Morning workout featuring cows, a watering can and diddly-idle music. It's what that montage in Rocky would have been like if Rocky was from the Irish countryside.
Posted by Disrupting the Rabblement on Friday, 14 April 2017
In the comments below, let me know which of the above Momentos is your favorite. Which can you relate to?
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April 6, 2017
Amazon Best Seller – How I Made It Happen For $26 (And How You Can Too)
Amazon Best Seller
How I Made It Happen For $26
(And How You Can Too)
Yesterday, my book, The Cargo Ship Diaries, became an Amazon best seller.
How the hell did that happen?
Well, I’m doing a free giveaway of the book this week. And I paid a total of $26 to get it listed on some big websites and newsletters (links and details below).
As a result of those efforts, plus some postings on Reddit and Facebook, the book has been downloaded 1000+ times since Monday, which is evidently enough to make it a best seller.
Well, sort of.
See, it’s only a best seller in a sub-sub-sub-sub-sub category of Amazon, and even then only among other free books in that sub-sub-sub-sub-sub category.
What that means is that I’d be a bit of a gobshite to seriously consider myself a best selling author.
That’d be kinda like Donald Trump claiming to be the best basketball player in the world.
You know, among US presidents.
Who are still alive.
And white.
And married to a Slovenian.
(Although that does sound like the kind of thing Trump would say, even without the qualifiers.)
Anyways… that’s how you make your book a best seller on Amazon.
If you ever want to try it yourself, follow the steps below, and then you may proceed to introduce yourself at parties as a best selling author, and I may proceed to call you a gobshite.
Just kidding.
I’d never call you that.
You have a fine gob on you, don’t let anyone tell you different 
April 3, 2017
Momentos: March 16th – March 31st, 2017
MOMENTOS
March 16th – March 31st, 2017
16
A question I like to ask: who is your best friend, and why. The answer usually reveals a lot about a person. Asked my lady that question today, and she told me her ex-boyfriend is her best friend. I find this comforting. It’s strange to me how a couple can be so close, then break up and never speak again. Assuming there was no betrayal and you still like the person, why wouldn’t you want to keep them in your life?
17
Nazare, Portugal. Look it up. Home to the biggest waves in the world. Five years ago some dude broke a record surfing an eight story screamer off these shores. And now here we are, on the beach in the dark, and I’m watching her at the edge, playing her game with the waves, half-terrified that the ocean will rise up and swallow that beautiful life and I’ll never find another like it.
18
Near the westernmost point of continental Europe, there’s a beach named Ursa, barely signposted and only accessible via steep hike. Some say it’s among the most beautiful beaches in the world. Maybe so, but we’re here after dark, picnicking high on the hillside, and can see only what the starlight wants to show us.
19
Caution to the wind, change of plan, went back there today with the big star in the sky. Several hours late dropping off the rental car and checking into our place in Lisbon but totally worth it. There’s something inside me that resists changing course, deviating from a plan, even when it makes sense… that stubborn streak that’s often a gift, but sometimes a curse. This girl helps me hone it.
20
She’s giddy tonight, wanting to do and have everything at once. Sunset, wine, cheese, all of it ahorita, never mind that it’s impossible. I’m cold and sluggish, would rather head home than dance in the park or go frolic in the playground. But I keep placating. And once we’re high atop the climbing frame she turns and she says, “You shouldn’t have let me come up here.”
Overlooking Praia Grande in Portugal
21
Launched a new funnel for 3M1K last week. Haven’t pushed any fresh traffic through but still expected to see a few sales by now. Instead… none. Frustrating, gotta admit. The course content is solid and the reviews and testimonials are overwhelmingly positive, yet people still seem hesitant to give it a shot. My marketing is falling short somehow.
22
Leaving Lisbon, in traffic on a bus to the airport, and a little girl in the backseat of a car next to us turns and smiles and waves. And we smile and wave back. And then she’s gone. And that’s most likely the only time our paths will ever cross, the only moment we’ll ever share in our long lives on this small rock in a vast universe. It was nice.
23
Breakfast on the beach in Barcelona, with a supermarket creation we decide to call “homeless porridge.” Then it’s off around town on a rented scooter to visit a few of Gaudí’s creations. A dance at the fountain, a couple of casas, the Pedrera and the park. We’ll get to la Sagrada mañana.
24
When we first met, I wasn’t sure how the money issue would play out, if she’d expect me to pay for everything, which I simply can’t afford to do. But it’s been fine. I earn more than her, so I’m happy to pay more and treat her regularly, but she also offers to pay occasionally and sometimes I even ask her to treat me. We communicate well, and that makes everything easier.
25
Girona. Floating up and down medieval streets and steps and steeples, stopping for jamón and queso, later coffee with a buttered croissant and a caramel slice. It’s the twelfth and final day of this jaunt, a dozen consecutive days together. Remarkable really that we’re still crazy about each other. Even more so now, because we’ve both seen the moods and experienced the annoyances and still the warm fuzzy feels.
Messing around at the castelo in Lisbon
26
Like a zombie at the airport, running on less than four hours of sleep, one of those on a bus. Straight to the nap room at the lounge and all laid out for a much-needed 90-minute siesta, then a feast of sandwiches and tomato juice. Rolling towards B51 a little later with Bruce in my ears and a spring in my step, smiling at myself and all the other beautiful people.
27
Gran Canaria again, at the coworking wading through feedback and ideas for 3M1K, trying to figure out next steps. One thing is clear: I need to get back to writing articles and making videos regularly. That was mainly how I built a following my first few years, and growth has stagnated since I quit the twice-weekly schedule.
28
Bit of a weird living situation at the moment. Sharing a small apartment with a lady and two boys with severe cerebral palsy. At least I think that’s what they have. And part of me is curious and wants to sit down and talk to the lady in my unfluent Spanish and learn more about their condition, but a bigger part of me isn’t willing to put forth the effort. So I keep to myself, pleasant and polite but only speaking when spoken to.
29
Ninety-minute yoga class on the beach this eve, making the most of the perfect weather and extended tardes. I love an active city, and Las Palmas is definitely that. From my side crane I see people swimming, boating and kayaking in the water, others running and playing volleyball in the sand.
30
Two days ago I went to an Authentic Relating Games thingy, and one of the games they had us play was to stand up in front of everybody and say something you were a little uncomfortable admitting, following it with the question, “Anyone else?” So… today I felt very sluggish and introverted and spent all afternoon and evening in bed, avoiding human interaction and binge-watching Netflix. Anyone else?
31
Chatting with my lady. She’s back in Moscow. I’ve been figuring out the visa stuff, should be headed her way at the end of April for a 30-day visit, and we’ll likely take a quick trip to Crimea while I’m there. After that, thinking maybe Japan, Amsterdam, London. We’ll see. The visa stuff makes it complicated, but we’ll figure it out.
Cascada Monumental in Barcelona
In the comments below, let me know which of the above Momentos is your favorite. Which can you relate to?
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March 21, 2017
Momentos: March 1st – March 15th, 2017
MOMENTOS
March 1st – March 15th, 2017
1.
In a bar with some friends, glance towards the door and see a beautiful woman standing there, just my type. Such a sight would have tormented me two months ago. Will I go talk to her? Is she here alone? What will I say? But now I have a girlfriend, I’m off the hook. That first glance her way is also my last. I turn attention back to my friends, at peace.
2.
I’ve heard said that the opposite of a truth is a lie, but the opposite of a great truth is another great truth. Here are what I believe to be two great truths: you must always keep working to improve yourself, to become better, wiser, stronger. And at the same time, you must believe that you, in this very moment, are enough.
3.
Set another $1k penalty with my mastermind buddy. If I don’t get the new 3M1K marketing funnel finished and launched before I leave for Portugal on the 14th, I gotta pay. So putting in long days and trying to cut the fluff to get this done. Doesn’t help that I’ll be homeless this day next week. Neglected to extend my reservation at the coliving and they’re all booked up now.
4.
Floating through the streets of Las Palmas, dressed ridiculous in floral shirt, floral pants, big curly wig. The music is pumping, the scene never-ending, 160,000 people dancing costumed in the calles. Angels, mermaids, bananas, queens, cartoons and superheroes. I knew Carnaval was going to be crazy, but this is a whole other level.
5.
Carnaval has been going on for a couple of weeks but yesterday was my only taste of it, focused as I am on work stuff. Got to bed before midnight and working all day today on a webinar for 3M1K. Liking how it’s coming together, packed with helpful info for people who want to work online. And I managed to squeeze in cameos from Vincent Van Gogh, Homer Simpson, and a hedgehog.
Long days at the office
6.
Lay awake for three hours last night, stressed, trying to figure out how I’m going to fulfill every commitment I’ve made for the next couple of months. In the end I decided to bail on a $6k client project. Should never have signed up for it in the first place. It’s a cool project, but it would require at least 150 hours of my time and effort before the end of April. That’s time and effort I should be investing in 3M1K.
7.
It really is one long game of adjustments, isn’t it, this life thing. You try something, it doesn’t work, you change course, try something else, that works a bit better, you stick with it, try push it further, hit a wall, pick yourself up and try again… and on and on and on. You never get to a point where you have it all figured out. Nobody does.
8.
Email from a 3M1Ker: “All in all, Niall, your course allowed me to change my life and start an entirely new career. A year ago I didn’t even know what copywriting was or that people did such incredible professions from anywhere in the world. And now, I’m doing it myself and earning decent money. It’s so empowering, I can’t even express. I know it’s only the beginning, but thanks for this!”
9.
Insomnia, my old friend. Been lying restless late and often waking before my alarm the past couple of weeks. Tends to happen when I’m working a lot, especially on my own stuff. I’ve found it is best to make friends with it though. Just accept when sleepy time ain’t happening. Read a book or go do something. Helps of course that I have a flexible schedule and can have a catch-up nap during the day.
10.
Spectacular weather lately, and we’re always five from the shore in Las Palmas so down there this afternoon making the most of it. Some women go topless on the beach here. I like that. Not just the sight of boobies, but also the fact that it’s no big deal. I’m all for clothing optional on beaches. Not enough of our naughty bits see sunshine.
From Gran Canaria with
Posted by Niall Doherty on Saturday, 11 March 2017
11.
In the office before seven on a Saturday for a hardcore recording sesh. Pumped out a webinar and seven videos. Also squeezed in some buddy burger time and a little solo sunset appreciation. Only have about two weeks total left in this town. Well, this time around. Aiming to be back here next winter. Lots to like.
12.
Recorded a four-minute video this morning and hired a freelancer on Fiverr to create Russian subtitles. Several hours later, a worried mom somewhere in Moscow was reassured that I will always respect her daughter, that I will always treat her well, and that I will always do my best to keep her safe. She has my word.
13.
Epic work day, trying to finish up a bunch of stuff and avoid that $1k penalty before heading off to Portugal tomorrow. Been fasting since breakfast and skipped my usual midday nap as well. Pretty exhausted now, but it feels good at the same time, proud of the work I’m doing and excited to push it out into the world.
14.
At a lounge, Terminal 2, Madrid–Barajas, between bites of lasagna writing two thousand people five hundred words about freedom. I’ll be meeting my girl in a couple of hours. Would never have met her in the first place if not for this, can pack a bag and move halfway across the world on a whim, knowing I can earn from anywhere. It never gets old.
15.
Found a nice little place by a rocky beach with white umbrellas and a comfy love seat. We cuddle up there and watch the waves meet the shore and the sun meet the sea and stay until her glass is empty and my heart is full and Venus and Orion have come shining in the sky.
Wicked romantic, aren’t we?
In the comments below, let me know which of the above Momentos is your favorite. Which can you relate to?
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March 7, 2017
Momentos: February 16th – February 28th, 2017
MOMENTOS
February 16th – February 28th, 2017
16.
17.
Tenerife otra vez. In the shadow of Los Gigantes as the sun goes down, cliffs once thought to be the walls of hell. We’ve got cheese and wine on a black sand beach. Actually the beach ain’t great, but the company is. We were supposed to sleep atop a mountain tonight, but plans changed and we’ll be at the Wolfhouse instead.
18.
My girl, she’s a photographer, good at what she does. Through her photos, you get a sense of how she sees the world. And I like how she sees the world. At Masca today, crazy winding roads and spectacular views, and I’m thinking how it would look through her eyes. Or at least her lens. What would she see that most would miss…
19.
Today was made of the same stuff those fun YouTube videos are made of. Road trip with good people to the number one water park in the world, sliding and screaming down vertical drops and zipping through a shark tank. Dinner at a steakhouse and sunset on the beach, then the rush to the airport. Exhausted now, and it’s almost midnight, but I still gotta squeeze in an hour of Español to save myself $300.
20.
It’s times like this that remind me I’m more on the introvert side of the spectrum. Extroverts are energized when interacting with other people, whereas I need quiet time and solitude to recharge. Spending the afternoon with an extrovert drains me, trying to constantly be present, listen to and process their incessant expression. Methinks I picked the wrong month to quit caffeine.
Debut album coming soon 
February 16, 2017
Momentos: February 1st – February 15th, 2017
MOMENTOS
February 1st – February 15th, 2017
1.
On a call with my mastermind buddy, and he’s telling me how he’s been off caffeine for a month and feels great. Hmm. Worth a try methinks. I tell him I’ll go without for the rest of February, no coffee, tea or anything else containing caffeine until then. If I crack, it’s a $1k penalty. Which essentially guarantees I won’t crack.
2.
When I was home in Ireland for Christmas my teenage cousin asked me what it is I actually do for a living. Well, today I spent 90 minutes writing an email about olives to promote a guide about finding cheap flights online. And I used the word “sensical” in that email. Which isn’t actually a word. So yeah. I do that kind of thing for a living.
3.
Finally a solid night’s sleep. The two previous were awful. And I know why. I’d been checking my phone too much, effectively training my brain to seek distraction and never stop spinning. Then, when I lay in bed at night, I couldn’t switch off. Yesterday I didn’t check it so much, and my key habit for today is to not check Facebook at all. Taking back control.
4.
Ten years ago I had a crush on a girl in my hometown. And I learned she kinda liked me too. Nothing much ever happened between us. Looking back, that short space of time when we were a possibility, when my head was full of daydreams of me and her and the fun we might have together… that was the best of it, those moments we shared in my mind, memories of what could have been.
5.
– Oh my god, and who were these fucking friends of yours, they let you get away with that?
– Oh they had to.
– What do you mean they had to? What did you say to them?
– I just slid my ticket across the table and I said sorry guys, I gotta go see about a girl.
Early morning above the clouds
6.
Alright, flights booked. On Thursday I’ll fly two thousand miles to meet a girl I’ve never met before, a girl I never knew existed two weeks ago. I’ve done some crazy things in the past, but this might take the cake. Yet somehow it doesn’t feel crazy at all. Let’s just hope she doesn’t turn out to be some 50-year-old Russian dude with a big beard and a split personality. That would be unfortunate.
7.
No tocar con las manos mojadas. I see this on the box of laundry detergent and get the meaning without having to translate in my head. I guess that’s progress. As is telling my teacher a story, all in Spanish, about a friend who once paid to watch two ladyboys have sex, then went and threw up in the bathroom. (And somehow, twenty minutes later, that same teacher was telling me his favorite story from the Bible.)
8.
It’s 5am. Couldn’t sleep, so I’m taking a walk. Through quiet streets. Four taxis waiting at the rank, first driver asleep. A little cafe on the corner, half-shuttered, starting to stir. Along by the beach, past palm trees and playgrounds, sands like the cosmos. I hear Satchmo thinking to himself and feel tears in my eyes. Dark sacred night, bright blessed day.
9.
Prague. I know nothing about this city. Usually I’d read up on a place before arriving, learn something of its significance in history, names of immortal men who called it home, at least the general lay of the land. But no, not this time. I’m not here for the city. I’m here for her. She’s all I want to know.
10.
It’s different with this girl. Everything feels easy. Even the difficult conversations… they aren’t that difficult. Like last night, after dinner, together on the couch, and I asked if she had any concerns, about this, about us. She shared hers, I shared mine. There will be challenges for us, sure, but they seem insignificant. The scariest thing about being with her is that it doesn’t feel scary at all.
Prague
11.
If you ever catch me bitching or complaining, or otherwise behaving like I’m not the luckiest guy in the world, please, slap me. Seriously, I’m living a charmed life. Pretty much every dream I’ve had has come true. I’m in good health. I’m my own boss. I haven’t lost a loved one for two decades. I live wherever I please. I earn more money and experience more luxury than 90% of the planet. And I can travel across a continent whenever a romantic whim takes hold.
12.
She never felt she could express herself freely. Not completely. Worried she’d be considered too silly, too crazy. I’ve experienced the same, that reluctance to let go. But today we stomped the wrong way down an escalator, laughed our way around a museum mimicking the poses of a dozen statues, and danced ridiculous in front of a big old church and whomever happened by. Maybe when you find the right person, you’re more free together than alone.
13.
Heading back to Las Palmas, had to connect via Stockholm. She’s on a flight to Paris. Not sure when we’ll see each other again, but I’m not sad. This is only the beginning, not adiós but hasta luego, the start of something special. Row to myself and I’m looking out the window with sleepy eyes. Floating into a sunset at twenty thousand feet, above a thousand frozen lakes.
14.
Back to the grind after five days of almost no work at all. Lots to catch up on. I’m actually procrastinating by writing this. Got some things organized and checked off earlier today but still at the office, gonna stay til seven. Sometimes productivity is laying siege to yourself, waiting for your lazy side to crack and say, “Okay, fine. Since we’re here we might as well get some shit done.”
15.
Memento mori. I just used an online calculator thingy to figure out that I have 49.1 years left to live, meaning forty percent of my life has already passed me by. I have approximately 17,907 days remaining. Tick-tock, tick-tock. What about you? How many days do you have left? More importantly, will you spend them doing things that matter?
Not adiós, but hasta luego.
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February 5, 2017
Momentos: January 16th – January 31st, 2017
MOMENTOS
January 16th – January 31st, 2017
16.
Perhaps a good measure of a society, or a group, or an individual: how do they treat those with a different point of view? Someone called me a pussy today because I don’t share his beliefs. I’m not sure what that accomplishes. Maybe it makes him feel good or superior, and maybe that’s all he needs. But it doesn’t help me see the world the way he sees it. Shouldn’t that be his aim?
17.
Was supposed to have a chat with my Spanish teacher yesterday about him using his phone during our Skype calls. It was bugging me, and I needed to say something. Told some people I would. But then I didn’t. And now they’re asking me how it went. Damn accountability. Painted myself into a corner. Which is exactly what I needed.
18.
One of the downsides of working for yourself: you have to make all the decisions. Okay, so that can be a positive too, but on days like this, when I’m feeling sick and burnt out, I just want to crawl into bed and shut out the world and not have to decide everything myself.
19.
Read a quote from Tony Robbins recently: “‘Stressed’ is the achiever word for ‘fear.’” That hits home. Whenever I’m stressed, I need to ask myself, “What am I afraid of?” Often I’m afraid of having a difficult conversation, setting/enforcing boundaries, or missing out on an opportunity. Tackling that fear relieves the stress.
20.
I get in a zone when I’m working and hate to be interrupted. Pretty sure I often come across rude at coworking. Sometimes I won’t even notice people walking by, saying hello. Other times I’ll notice but won’t acknowledge them in case they take it as an invite to come chat. When they come chat anyway, I’m not very engaging. I don’t know how people can be social all the time and actually get shit done.
On the dunes in Maspalomas
21.
We’re at Roque Nublo, the rock in the clouds, at the center of the island. Apparently it was a sacred site for the indigenous people here long ago, and they may or may not have performed human sacrifices to appease their sun god. Which is all very interesting, but I have a sudden urge to dance with a bunch of people, so we round up some strangers and let loose.
22.
A coach used to say to us all the time, “Basketball is a simple game. Players just complicate it.” Standing looking at El Teide on a fading horizon this eve, sea water lapping at my sandy feet, music from a half century ago in my ears, I was thinking how the same is true of this life lark. Often we know what to do, solutions rarely complicated. Except in our heads.
23.
On a call with these two gents, one in Chicago, one in Bali, me in the middle. It’s late but they have me pumped about this project we’ll be collaborating on. It will be a lot of work for me the next few months, mostly video stuff. But through the guise of helping people start a blog we’re going to open doors, expand minds and change lives.
24.
Waves are rough and the tide is low. After twenty minutes fighting to catch one, one catches me, hard. I face plant on a sandbar, my head staying put while the rest of me keeps going. I hear and feel my neck crack and a previously unimagined future flashes through my brain. A minute later I’m sitting on the beach, body intact but mind a bit shook. That’ll do for today.
25.
How well can you direct your attention? That really is the essence of happiness right there. Not what happens to you, but what you think about what happens to you. You have limited control over the former, complete control over the latter. Well, in theory anyway. Easier said than done, I know.
Roomies at the beach
26.
I used to like having my own place, but man, if you’ve got cool flatmates, sharing is way better. I would sometimes go three days or more in Amsterdam and Berlin without any significant social interaction, and it was tough after that to go out and meet people, to flip back to social mode. With this setup in Las Palmas, being social is just a natural part of every day.
27.
This time is just practice for the next time. No big deal. Do the scary thing now and it will be less scary in future. You’ll have the experience, know that it doesn’t kill you, that it really does make you stronger. For example, I spoke in front of 100+ people last month. Tonight I spoke in front of ~20 and it felt like a breeze.
28.
She tells me some guy approached her on the street a half hour ago, broad daylight. He was funny, charming, direct, told her she was gorgeous, that he’d love to know her better. She was impressed. And I’m kicking myself because I’ve been that guy before but haven’t been lately. Especially with her.
29.
Facebook is my main source of news these days, but even that’s becoming too much. Hearing what crazy new shit Trump’s saying or doing isn’t even the worst part. It’s the comments. Everybody out to prove themselves right and everyone else an idiot. And nobody listens. Nobody changes their mind. None of it makes a positive difference in the world.
30.
“When the right girl does eventually come along, there’s no doubting it. You just know. And your life will never be the same again.” You ever hear people say that kind of thing? It’s a romantic notion, but I’ve never quite believed it. Or maybe I choose not to believe it. Maybe some part of me would rather believe that I’m in control of my life, that my future is not at the mercy of green eyes and a golden smile.
31.
Launched the Cheap Flight Checklist yesterday. Sales haven’t been fantastic, but they’ve been decent, and the feedback has been great so far, better than expected. People are saving big money with this thing. It could really blow up if I get the marketing right. Which is doable, so long as I can find the time. That’s always the hardest part.
Gran Canaria road trip
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January 16, 2017
Momentos: January 1st – January 15, 2017
MOMENTOS
January 1st – January 15th, 2017
1.
“Some people, were born to sit by a river. Some get struck by lightning. Some have an ear for music. Some are artists. Some swim. Some know buttons. Some know Shakespeare. Some are mothers. And some people, dance.”
2.
Evening, after dark, running on the beach. There’s a slice of moon up ahead, sandwiched by Mars and Venus, coming closer with every stride. It’s hard not to smile when I step on to this sand and take off running, like I know something no one else knows.
3.
Went surfing a few days ago and got my ass kicked. Today was better. Stood up on the board more times than not, rode several waves all the way to the shore. I know I’ll have more of those rough surfing days though. It’s like that with lots of things. Just when you think you’re getting the hang of it, you find yourself humbled again.
4.
I’ve pretty much given up setting deadlines for my own projects. I rarely seem to meet them anyway — freelance work usually gets in the way — and it’s stressful trying. As long as I’m making steady progress, that’s good enough. I’ll get there eventually, and I can relax a little more along the way.
5.
Back out surfing this eve. Waves not as good today, but that’s perfect in its own way. When one comes along, you try catch it. When one doesn’t, you float in the ocean, resting on your board, taking in the spectacle of a setting sun behind the auditorio, the sky all aglow and the silhouette of a steel fish somehow spectacular.
6.
Turned down an offer to collaborate on a big freelance project yesterday, could have been worth up to €18k, a decent chunk of that going to me. But the client sounded like a bit of a nightmare, and I could see it all devolving into a frustrating slog. As per Derek Sivers, if you don’t find yourself saying “Hell Yeah!” to an opportunity, it should be an automatic no.
7.
One key indicator of happiness for me is how I eat. Not what I eat, but how I eat. When I’m more relaxed and content, I eat slow, swallowing and appreciating each bite before loading up again. After basketball today we went to a burger house for an epic meal. And I enjoyed it all the more because I ate it slow, savored it completely.
8.
Tired now, but it’s the good kind of tired, tired because I did a lot of worthwhile stuff this week, the kind of tired Hunter Thompson had in mind when he wrote, Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming “Wow! What a Ride!”
9.
We’ve got a great crew in the apartment, three of us on the same wavelength, bouncing and learning from each other. I was showing them my productivity systems the other day and realized that yeah, I do have a lot of routines and I do track a ton of shit. The trick is to know when to stick to it all, and when to say fuck it, I need a break. Strive to be the master of your systems, never their slave.
10.
Fourth day in a row with at least an hour of Spanish speaking practice, via teachers on Skype. Used to be that even thirty minutes of speaking Spanish left me exhausted, my brain fried. So this is definitely progress. I’m not actually speaking it much out and about here in Las Palmas though. Must work on that.
Big fat Saturday lunch with unos amigos
11.
A simple prompt this morning: as you go about your day, silently wish happiness for whomever you encounter. Friends, strangers, doesn’t matter. Young guy walking past the front door of my building. Truck driver on the road. Security guard outside a store. Old lady at a crosswalk. A whole bunch of people at coworking. Turns out wishing happiness for others makes you pretty happy yourself.
12.
Been under the weather the past few days and have had trouble sleeping. Had to skip surfing a couple of times, no early mornings. But this evening I made myself get out and go for a walk on the beach. Just five minutes out of the apartment and you’re stepping on sand. It was glorious down there, the sky all aflame and a beautiful woman saluting a sunken sun.
13.
Quoted five figures for another project that came my way recently. Had a call with the guy about it today, felt very relaxed chatting with him. Maybe I’m getting used to these kinds of calls. Or maybe it’s that I don’t really need this project, given how much freelance work I currently have on. But most of all it’s probably Jacob’s coaching that’s affected me. Feeling more centered, at peace.
14.
At the edge again. No board this time, just me and the waves. I try stand strong against some, keep my footing while they crash through me. Dive beneath others, feel them tugging at my heels. Float atop still more before the break. I’m a tiny speck of consciousness on a wet rock lost in a vast universe. Then again: “You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop.”
15.
Had a call with a tax professional today, to see what I’m on the hook for now that my business is registered in the USA. As a one-person LLC, the tax burden is passed along to the individual, but then I’m not a US citizen or resident. So does that mean I’m not obligated to pay any taxes in the US? Looks that way, yeah. Nor anywhere else, so long as I keep moving.
Evening stroll in Las Palmas
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January 4, 2017
Momentos: December 16th – December 31st, 2016
MOMENTOS
December 16th – December 31st, 2016
16.
It’s obvious to me which people have issues with alcohol by the way they respond to my non-drinking ways. If they’re at peace with their alcohol consumption, they’re usually cool with me not getting drunk alongside them. But if they have some demons there, shoulders tense and eyes narrow. This holds true for many things. We hate what we fear.
17.
Speaking of sobriety, few things beat the feeling of letting loose on a dance floor with nare a drop of liquid courage. Hung back for the first few songs this eve then ventured out. A jazz band in the square, ripping out classics from all decades. Local tunes too, that we didn’t recognize but it didn’t matter. Strangers beaming and dancing, everyone belonging.
18.
Shopping for clothes, checking a big table of v-neck tees when along comes a teenager – maybe 16 years old – with his parents. “How about these?” asks his mom. “Nah, v-necks look kinda gay,” the kid responds. Poor chap. Like me at that age, way too worried what other people think of him. I pick up three v-necks and head for the checkout.
19.
Six straight hours today lost in flow, finishing off a little guide called the Cheap Flight Checklist. There’s something beautiful about those long, uninterrupted stretches of work, especially when you’re focused on something challenging, pushing up against your edge. That’s the deep work Cal Newport talks about, the stuff fewer and fewer people make time for, and which is thus more valuable than ever.
20.
Thinking back on 2016. I launched 3M1K, spent time in seven countries (and two of my favorite cities), jumped out of an airplane, spoke in front of 100+ people, completed a 19km obstacle course, started surfing, improved my Spanish, dated some beautiful women, met and befriended some great people, upped my video game, read 30+ books, stayed healthy. Yeah. It’s been a good year.
At the VIP lounge at LPA.
21.
Up at 3:45. Leave at 4:30. 45-minute walk to the bus station. 25-minute bus to the airport. Five minutes through security. An hour in the VIP lounge. 30 minutes to the gate, boarding. 4 hours in the sky. 20 minutes off the plane, through customs, bite to eat. 25-minute bus to the city center. 10 minutes to spare. 2.5-hour bus east. Picked up at the station. 15-minute drive. Home.
22.
A weird thing happens when I’m home for a while. I tend to fall back into old habits, like I’m once again a shy, lazy, perverted teenager. So I’ve set a few goals this time around, have my Mastermind buddy holding me accountable. Nothing crazy, just enough to keep me on the rails. 50 push-ups, 50 crunches, and 5 minutes of stretching every day. And no fap.
23.
Had $1,500 worth of free flights to play with via a credit card bonus so was online looking for an adventure this morning. Had in mind Bali at first, but somehow ended up booking flights to Taiwan, will be there April and May. $638 the cost of the tickets so I still have more than $850 to play with. Travel hacking for the win!
24.
Catching myself checking my phone more often than usual, hoping for a message, or some other distraction. Why so? It’s loneliness, missing intimacy. This time of year you feel it more. But when I stop and accept and breathe, I’m at peace with it, soltero by choice after all. You can have anything you want, but you can’t have it all at the same time.
25.
Walking back from old pillars with missing gates, having a chat, asking a question I’d been putting off. The answer is long but the essence is easy to get. Add that to my list of motivations, the reasons I’ll keep working and striving and building what I’m building. I have opportunities most don’t. And I plan to make the best of them.
Christmas Day with la familia.
26.
The range of our conversations. We’d be talking about mindfulness one minute, basketball the next, then sharing perverted thoughts and cracking each other up with teenage trigger words, still hilarious half our lives later. Laughed so hard the other night on the phone to him I had tears in my eyes. Ah, the people I have in my life. I hope you’re as lucky as me.
27.
To compliment a woman, to tell her she looks beautiful, or her hair looks nice, or you love the very presence of her, without hoping she’ll like you or fuck you or make you a sandwich in return. A simple, stringless celebration. Because the women in your life are beautiful, and you want them to know this. Because the more beautiful they feel, the more beautiful they become.
28.
I’ve barely lived in Ireland the past ten years. Every time I come back, I appreciate it more. A simple rolling hill. Sheep in a field. Bird on a branch. Thatch on a roof. A crisp morning sky. The red edge of a cloud. An old castle crumbling and overgrown by the roadside, yet still tall and proud and apologizing for nothing. And those green fields, disappearing now beneath the clouds.
29.
Started reading A Walk In The Woods last night back in Las Palmas. Three chapters deep already. It’s my kind of book: author takes on a big, interesting challenge and writes well and humorously about it. Entertaining and informative. Moonwalking With Einstein and The Year Of Living Biblically fit this mold, too. These are the kinds of books I aspire to write.
30.
Found it difficult getting out of bed this morning. Almost talked myself out of it, but got up and did a bit of work, had breakfast, and by the time I arrived at coworking, two hours after I awoke, I was practically buzzing. What does that tell me? That I can’t take my moods too seriously. You never know how or when you’ll get a flash of inspiration, a buzz of excitement, renewed confidence. Every minute has the potential.
31.
That’s it for another year. Finish it off with the usual 5:30am start, a few solid hours of work, a nap, surfing, basketball, and then a wander around town with my Slovenian flatmate, a 24-year-old with his shit together. We catch fireworks, dance badly and try chat up a few chicas. We’re mighty mighty men, young and in our prime. Let’s go round again.
Back in Las Palmas for a Christmas celebration at CoworkingC
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