Nenia Campbell's Blog, page 42
March 12, 2014
Fun Facts & Trivia: Or, Reasons You Should Become My Facebook Fan
I've started posting random "fun facts" on my Facebook page about my books.
For example:
Did you know that...
One of the poems in Wishing Stars was originally written for Terrorscape?
The first draft of Cloak and Dagger was written when I was 15, under the title "Psychotic Love"?
Tantalized was written in a week-long stretch during a period of depression?
The original draft of Endgame took under a week to write, and a year to edit?
Some are funny, some are weird, some are embarrassing.
If you become an 'aficionenia' by 'liking' my page, you'll be privy to them all! ^_^
For example:
Did you know that...
One of the poems in Wishing Stars was originally written for Terrorscape?
The first draft of Cloak and Dagger was written when I was 15, under the title "Psychotic Love"?
Tantalized was written in a week-long stretch during a period of depression?
The original draft of Endgame took under a week to write, and a year to edit?
Some are funny, some are weird, some are embarrassing.
If you become an 'aficionenia' by 'liking' my page, you'll be privy to them all! ^_^
March 11, 2014
Why I Will Never Finish the Books I Own: A Play Told in the Form of Freud's Structural Theory of the Subconscious
Starring (in order of appearance):
Superego
Ego
Id
--------------------------------
Superego: Nenia, stop downloading all those books. You already have more than you could conceivably read in a lifetime.
Ego: At least read some of what you have before downloading more. Just make sure you read twice of what you plan to download.
Id: But what if you're suddenly gifted with the superpower of reading at faster than light? You'll want to stock up, be prepared!
Nenia: I seeeeee.
*downloads, hoards, downloads, hoards*
Superego & ego:
Superego
Ego
Id
--------------------------------
Superego: Nenia, stop downloading all those books. You already have more than you could conceivably read in a lifetime.
Ego: At least read some of what you have before downloading more. Just make sure you read twice of what you plan to download.
Id: But what if you're suddenly gifted with the superpower of reading at faster than light? You'll want to stock up, be prepared!
Nenia: I seeeeee.
*downloads, hoards, downloads, hoards*
Superego & ego:
March 7, 2014
Bullying: A Personal Anecdote **trigger warnings**
Sometimes I get people who wonder why I side with the so-called bully reviewers as an author. Am I trying to damage other authors' careers? Please. Do I enjoy the mob mentality? No. Am I a mean person? I don't think so, but at the end of the day that's really up to you.
This is a personal blog entry, and for some of you it might hit a little too close to home. There are anxiety and bullying triggers in this post, so please, consider yourself warned.
When I was in high school I had really bad social anxiety. Giving oral reports would cause me to have nightmares and stomachaches in the days before. I would shake so badly my knees would tremble and you could hear my notes rattling in my hand. Making friends was really difficult for me. I felt like everything I did was being noticed and criticized. I really, really, REALLY hated being forced into social interactions. Even buying something at a register made me feel faint.
During my freshman year, I had some people who were my friends betray me in the worst way possible. They decided that they had had enough of my weirdness and were going to teach me a lesson. They shoved me around and threatened to beat me up. They made fun of the way I looked, the way I dressed, the music I listened to, and even what I wore. They called me things like "dyke" and "tranny", just because I was a tomboy, and defaced all of my blogs with insults under various sockpuppet accounts. They would invade my personal space. They took my stories and shared them with other people without my permission, talking about how I had no talent and was a pathetic hack, and speculated about what these stories said about my mental state. They then turned all of my other friends against me - because my other friends were afraid of getting bullied too, and were too cowardly to stand up for me when I couldn't do so myself. It got so bad that my mom had the school put me on "watch" because she was terrified that something bad would happen to me. The school talked to the bullies, who then mocked me for being so pathetic that I had to get my parents to fight my battles for me. I was 14.
This went on for three. Fucking. Years.
I would come home, and I wanted to die. I felt so frustrated, so powerless, so angry. For the first time in my life, I understood what would drive someone to show up to school with a gun: it felt like I didn't own my own mind. It felt like I was being dissembled piece by piece, until I wasn't even a real person anymore. I felt so depersonalized. I felt like a monster.
My teachers looked the other way. Some of them even victimized me, also, as a way of establishing rapport with the other students. The principal didn't do anything, claimed that there wasn't anything the school COULD do, because this was mostly happening online. (This all happened when the internet was fairly new, and before all those Myspace-related incidents of bullying resulted in those highly publicized suicides.) I spent lunches in the library, because I felt too sick to eat. Sometimes I'd fake sick so I wouldn't have to go to school. I really, truly hated myself.
And I hated them for making me feel like I might even remotely deserve this. I hated them for making me hate myself.
It took me five years before I was able to really trust people again.
It took me five years to realize that overtures of friendships aren't traps being set by people who want to exploit and terrorize you.
It took me five years to be able to confide in other people without fear of rejection or retaliation.
Five years of my life.
When I see these authors throwing around the word “bullying,” just because of ONE NEGATIVE REVIEW (warranted or not), I get infuriated. Because that's not bullying. That's not even close. If you think that's bullying, you're damned lucky, because if a negative review is the worst case of social rejection you've ever gotten, you've probably lived a pretty good life.
When you throw the word "bully" around, you reduce its effect. Bullying is a serious problem. It ruins lives. Authors who make sock puppet accounts, or launch attacks against reviewers in some misguided attempts at justice aren't crusading against bullies—they ARE bullies. And some of those people you're victimizing? They might just be fourteen, too. They might be younger.
Five years of what should have been the best years of my life were ruined because of bullies.
Because of real, actual bullies.
How dare you do that to someone. How COULD you do that to someone? How could you stalk and harass someone over something as stupid as a book? How could you tell them they're worthless and that their words aren't worth hearing? How could you want to force them to real their true identities so you can stalk and harass them further? How could you say the things you said, knowing you have to look yourself in the mirror the next morning? How could you do that? How could you?
How could you?
WHY would you?
You're authors. You, more than anyone, should know the power of the words you use.
Stop bullying.
Please.
This is a personal blog entry, and for some of you it might hit a little too close to home. There are anxiety and bullying triggers in this post, so please, consider yourself warned.
When I was in high school I had really bad social anxiety. Giving oral reports would cause me to have nightmares and stomachaches in the days before. I would shake so badly my knees would tremble and you could hear my notes rattling in my hand. Making friends was really difficult for me. I felt like everything I did was being noticed and criticized. I really, really, REALLY hated being forced into social interactions. Even buying something at a register made me feel faint.
During my freshman year, I had some people who were my friends betray me in the worst way possible. They decided that they had had enough of my weirdness and were going to teach me a lesson. They shoved me around and threatened to beat me up. They made fun of the way I looked, the way I dressed, the music I listened to, and even what I wore. They called me things like "dyke" and "tranny", just because I was a tomboy, and defaced all of my blogs with insults under various sockpuppet accounts. They would invade my personal space. They took my stories and shared them with other people without my permission, talking about how I had no talent and was a pathetic hack, and speculated about what these stories said about my mental state. They then turned all of my other friends against me - because my other friends were afraid of getting bullied too, and were too cowardly to stand up for me when I couldn't do so myself. It got so bad that my mom had the school put me on "watch" because she was terrified that something bad would happen to me. The school talked to the bullies, who then mocked me for being so pathetic that I had to get my parents to fight my battles for me. I was 14.
This went on for three. Fucking. Years.
I would come home, and I wanted to die. I felt so frustrated, so powerless, so angry. For the first time in my life, I understood what would drive someone to show up to school with a gun: it felt like I didn't own my own mind. It felt like I was being dissembled piece by piece, until I wasn't even a real person anymore. I felt so depersonalized. I felt like a monster.
My teachers looked the other way. Some of them even victimized me, also, as a way of establishing rapport with the other students. The principal didn't do anything, claimed that there wasn't anything the school COULD do, because this was mostly happening online. (This all happened when the internet was fairly new, and before all those Myspace-related incidents of bullying resulted in those highly publicized suicides.) I spent lunches in the library, because I felt too sick to eat. Sometimes I'd fake sick so I wouldn't have to go to school. I really, truly hated myself.
And I hated them for making me feel like I might even remotely deserve this. I hated them for making me hate myself.
It took me five years before I was able to really trust people again.
It took me five years to realize that overtures of friendships aren't traps being set by people who want to exploit and terrorize you.
It took me five years to be able to confide in other people without fear of rejection or retaliation.
Five years of my life.
When I see these authors throwing around the word “bullying,” just because of ONE NEGATIVE REVIEW (warranted or not), I get infuriated. Because that's not bullying. That's not even close. If you think that's bullying, you're damned lucky, because if a negative review is the worst case of social rejection you've ever gotten, you've probably lived a pretty good life.
When you throw the word "bully" around, you reduce its effect. Bullying is a serious problem. It ruins lives. Authors who make sock puppet accounts, or launch attacks against reviewers in some misguided attempts at justice aren't crusading against bullies—they ARE bullies. And some of those people you're victimizing? They might just be fourteen, too. They might be younger.
Five years of what should have been the best years of my life were ruined because of bullies.
Because of real, actual bullies.
How dare you do that to someone. How COULD you do that to someone? How could you stalk and harass someone over something as stupid as a book? How could you tell them they're worthless and that their words aren't worth hearing? How could you want to force them to real their true identities so you can stalk and harass them further? How could you say the things you said, knowing you have to look yourself in the mirror the next morning? How could you do that? How could you?
How could you?
WHY would you?
You're authors. You, more than anyone, should know the power of the words you use.
Stop bullying.
Please.
March 5, 2014
Good News Everyone!
I now have a beta-reader! The oh-so-awesome Wart! :D
I'm so excited to work with him. :)
Everyone give a huge round of applause to Waaaaaaaart. <33333
I'm so excited to work with him. :)
Everyone give a huge round of applause to Waaaaaaaart. <33333
3 New Books Added to My Queue!
March 3, 2014
Q&A with You, My Readers <3
How do you balance between reviewing and writing? Do you not sleep... ever?
Reading and writing go hand in hand. I love reading and each book is like a mini learning experience- whether it's an exercise in "do this" or "don't do this." Reviewing is kind of a nice break from writing, too. So no, I haven't really felt the rub. It doesn't exist for me I guess! :)
Did you always know you would go indie, or did you consider the traditional publishing process first?
For a while I wasn't thinking about publishing at all. I just didn't think I was good enough. My readers from Fictionpress were very supportive, though, and my writer friends from this group I was in all but forced me to pursue indie publishing. One of them- you might know her as Em Wolf (she's published now, too)- sent me the link and was like, "IT'S FREE. IT'S EASY. BE MY GUINEA PIG. DO ITTTT."
What aspect of being an indie writer do you enjoy most, and what's the hardest part for you?
I like the freedom of being able to write what I want without having to worry about tailoring my writing to what's popular or family-friendly. I think if you work with a traditional publisher you have the additional burden of fitting in with their "image." Also, if I finish a book early, I can publish it early and there's no red tape to cut through.
At the same time, I feel a lot of people probably don't take me- or my writing- seriously because I'm not traditionally published. Producing hard copies of my books is also very expensive and non-lucrative. I'm often asked for hard copy ARCs and I have to tell people that even I don't own any. I really wish I had some pretty copies to hand out. I also wish I could go out and do book signings and stuff. I'd love to be backed by a publisher. It's my dream to own some of my books in paperback and be able to meet my loyal and lovely fans in person. <3
How do ideas for a book come to you? In dreams, in the news, etc?
Reading, dreams, just random brain farts, people I meet in person, on the internet...etc. Anything is fair game for a writer. Anyyyyyything. *evil laughter*
Do you only work on the story you're writing at any one time, or do you
also write ficlets/small pieces of nonsense that function to you as kind
of a refreshing sorbet?
I try to work on one story at a time but that never really pans out. Forcing things in writing is usually a bad idea, so if I feel inspired, I'll gladly swap projects.
Do you keep a physical notebook for ideas, or do you have a word doc/evernote file etc?
I have an "ideas" folder on my computer where I write down interesting snippets or ideas or even cool titles that I don't feel like working on immediately. If I'm stumped, it's always fun to open up the ideas folder and take a look.
Best place for random ideas: the shower/driving/at the movies/where else?
If I'm having trouble resolving a conflict in the story, a shower usually helps. :) If I'm lacking inspiration entirely, I'll take a nap. I always have vivid dreams and sometimes they provide me with the solution I'm looking for in a story.
How many hours a day do you write for? In one block, or split up? Is
there a maximum time you can write, and after which you find you are not
productive? Morning, evening, other?
Sometimes I'll write for, like, 18 hours. Straight- with breaks for eating and bathroom. I write best in the middle of the night because that's when everyone else is asleep and my productivity is at an all-time high. I don't know why, but things just seem more magical in the wee hours of the morning.
Do you make yourself write every day? What do you do when you just don't feel like it?
I write almost every day. If not my books, then reviews for other people's books. Any kind of writing is good writing, and potentially useful.
What is the longest time it took you to publish a book? And the shortest time? And on average?
Some of my books took me years to write. Others, I finished in a few months. As I get older, I find it easier to write books more quickly. Endgame was written in like three days, but the revisions took me months. I finished and published Wishing Stars within two months. Bleeds My Desire took about three months to put together, but I had scraps of it pre-written in one of my "ideas" folder, so that might be cheating. :)
Are you open with your friends and family about writing?
My family knows I write and have read some of my books. My friends know I write, but they've never seen my books. I'm very secretive like that.
Best place to write?
In bed. :3
Do you write on holiday too, or do you take a break if you go away?
I take a notebook with me when I go out just in case inspiration strikes. I've also been known to pull out my phone and write long memos to myself about potential book ideas.
Have you done any writing courses? Or did you already do creative writing at college?
I haven't taken any creative writing courses. I was always afraid that if I did, it would make writing seem more like work and less fun. I did take Advanced Composition in college, which was a very difficult course. I had to work for my A. But it opened me up to a new style of writing.
When you write do you like silence/TV/DVD/music (playlists??)
I like silence. I'll wear headphones when I write sometimes but mostly to blot out sound. I only listen to music while revising. :)
Do you drink alcohol when you write?
I don't really drink alcohol in general due to health reasons.
How did you do your research for the BDSM elements in Tantalized and was professor Delacroix based on one or more real persons?
I read several of the classics about kinky sex, like Venus in Furs and some stuff from sex blogs. I also read the CliffNotes for Marquis de Sade and The Story of O, and various other stories, and read what professors and students had to say about the books. I also Wikipedia, and then followed the references to the original sites to learn more. Google images also helped give me perspective although some of the images were a little too much for me.
Professor Delacroix is kind of based on Humbert Humbert from Lolita, and the creepy guy in Story of O. He's not a love interest and I didn't want to treat him like one. I also wanted to underscore the fact that the sex that he and Jessica engage in in the story is NOT representative of typical BDSM. This is not safe, sane, and consensual sex. BDSM is about trust and feeling safe with your partner. Tantalized is, well, not.
When/how did you come to the conclusion that you liked to write dark stuff?
I noticed at a fairly young age that the antiheroes/gamma heroes in romance novels didn't stay bad. It drove me crazy. I wanted to read about dark heroes with dark storylines that didn't turn into fluff by Act II. It turned out to be something I was pretty good at. Maybe it's because I've had a lot of angst in my life. Nothing propels a darkfic like angst. ;)
Also, do you have an overall plan, a list of goals for the year? Do you think, "In 2014 I shall write 3 x books 50,000 words+" or do you wing it and see what you produce?
Right now, I'm pretty close to being able to do this full-time. At the moment, I'm in limbo. I explained my predicament to my family, and they were sympathetic because they know how important writing is to me (it's what I've wanted to do since I was thirteen-years-old). I'll be writing and publishing as many books as I can until my birthday, because after I turn twenty-five my insurance won't be able to cover me anymore. If I can't support myself on what I make by then, I'll get another job...but I won't be able to write as much. So basically, I'm trying to do the best I can with what I have right now. :)
Reading and writing go hand in hand. I love reading and each book is like a mini learning experience- whether it's an exercise in "do this" or "don't do this." Reviewing is kind of a nice break from writing, too. So no, I haven't really felt the rub. It doesn't exist for me I guess! :)
Did you always know you would go indie, or did you consider the traditional publishing process first?
For a while I wasn't thinking about publishing at all. I just didn't think I was good enough. My readers from Fictionpress were very supportive, though, and my writer friends from this group I was in all but forced me to pursue indie publishing. One of them- you might know her as Em Wolf (she's published now, too)- sent me the link and was like, "IT'S FREE. IT'S EASY. BE MY GUINEA PIG. DO ITTTT."
What aspect of being an indie writer do you enjoy most, and what's the hardest part for you?
I like the freedom of being able to write what I want without having to worry about tailoring my writing to what's popular or family-friendly. I think if you work with a traditional publisher you have the additional burden of fitting in with their "image." Also, if I finish a book early, I can publish it early and there's no red tape to cut through.
At the same time, I feel a lot of people probably don't take me- or my writing- seriously because I'm not traditionally published. Producing hard copies of my books is also very expensive and non-lucrative. I'm often asked for hard copy ARCs and I have to tell people that even I don't own any. I really wish I had some pretty copies to hand out. I also wish I could go out and do book signings and stuff. I'd love to be backed by a publisher. It's my dream to own some of my books in paperback and be able to meet my loyal and lovely fans in person. <3
How do ideas for a book come to you? In dreams, in the news, etc?
Reading, dreams, just random brain farts, people I meet in person, on the internet...etc. Anything is fair game for a writer. Anyyyyyything. *evil laughter*
Do you only work on the story you're writing at any one time, or do you
also write ficlets/small pieces of nonsense that function to you as kind
of a refreshing sorbet?
I try to work on one story at a time but that never really pans out. Forcing things in writing is usually a bad idea, so if I feel inspired, I'll gladly swap projects.
Do you keep a physical notebook for ideas, or do you have a word doc/evernote file etc?
I have an "ideas" folder on my computer where I write down interesting snippets or ideas or even cool titles that I don't feel like working on immediately. If I'm stumped, it's always fun to open up the ideas folder and take a look.
Best place for random ideas: the shower/driving/at the movies/where else?
If I'm having trouble resolving a conflict in the story, a shower usually helps. :) If I'm lacking inspiration entirely, I'll take a nap. I always have vivid dreams and sometimes they provide me with the solution I'm looking for in a story.
How many hours a day do you write for? In one block, or split up? Is
there a maximum time you can write, and after which you find you are not
productive? Morning, evening, other?
Sometimes I'll write for, like, 18 hours. Straight- with breaks for eating and bathroom. I write best in the middle of the night because that's when everyone else is asleep and my productivity is at an all-time high. I don't know why, but things just seem more magical in the wee hours of the morning.
Do you make yourself write every day? What do you do when you just don't feel like it?
I write almost every day. If not my books, then reviews for other people's books. Any kind of writing is good writing, and potentially useful.
What is the longest time it took you to publish a book? And the shortest time? And on average?
Some of my books took me years to write. Others, I finished in a few months. As I get older, I find it easier to write books more quickly. Endgame was written in like three days, but the revisions took me months. I finished and published Wishing Stars within two months. Bleeds My Desire took about three months to put together, but I had scraps of it pre-written in one of my "ideas" folder, so that might be cheating. :)
Are you open with your friends and family about writing?
My family knows I write and have read some of my books. My friends know I write, but they've never seen my books. I'm very secretive like that.
Best place to write?
In bed. :3
Do you write on holiday too, or do you take a break if you go away?
I take a notebook with me when I go out just in case inspiration strikes. I've also been known to pull out my phone and write long memos to myself about potential book ideas.
Have you done any writing courses? Or did you already do creative writing at college?
I haven't taken any creative writing courses. I was always afraid that if I did, it would make writing seem more like work and less fun. I did take Advanced Composition in college, which was a very difficult course. I had to work for my A. But it opened me up to a new style of writing.
When you write do you like silence/TV/DVD/music (playlists??)
I like silence. I'll wear headphones when I write sometimes but mostly to blot out sound. I only listen to music while revising. :)
Do you drink alcohol when you write?
I don't really drink alcohol in general due to health reasons.
How did you do your research for the BDSM elements in Tantalized and was professor Delacroix based on one or more real persons?
I read several of the classics about kinky sex, like Venus in Furs and some stuff from sex blogs. I also read the CliffNotes for Marquis de Sade and The Story of O, and various other stories, and read what professors and students had to say about the books. I also Wikipedia, and then followed the references to the original sites to learn more. Google images also helped give me perspective although some of the images were a little too much for me.
Professor Delacroix is kind of based on Humbert Humbert from Lolita, and the creepy guy in Story of O. He's not a love interest and I didn't want to treat him like one. I also wanted to underscore the fact that the sex that he and Jessica engage in in the story is NOT representative of typical BDSM. This is not safe, sane, and consensual sex. BDSM is about trust and feeling safe with your partner. Tantalized is, well, not.
When/how did you come to the conclusion that you liked to write dark stuff?
I noticed at a fairly young age that the antiheroes/gamma heroes in romance novels didn't stay bad. It drove me crazy. I wanted to read about dark heroes with dark storylines that didn't turn into fluff by Act II. It turned out to be something I was pretty good at. Maybe it's because I've had a lot of angst in my life. Nothing propels a darkfic like angst. ;)
Also, do you have an overall plan, a list of goals for the year? Do you think, "In 2014 I shall write 3 x books 50,000 words+" or do you wing it and see what you produce?
Right now, I'm pretty close to being able to do this full-time. At the moment, I'm in limbo. I explained my predicament to my family, and they were sympathetic because they know how important writing is to me (it's what I've wanted to do since I was thirteen-years-old). I'll be writing and publishing as many books as I can until my birthday, because after I turn twenty-five my insurance won't be able to cover me anymore. If I can't support myself on what I make by then, I'll get another job...but I won't be able to write as much. So basically, I'm trying to do the best I can with what I have right now. :)
March 2, 2014
My Reviewing Blog Just Got Its 50,000th Page View!
Even though I aspire to be a full-time writer, I still try to make as much time for reading and reviewing books as possible. It's a lifelong passion.
Anyway, my reviewing blog, The Armchair Librarian, got its 50,000th page view this week.
I also got my 750th follower on Goodreads, too. ^_^
Thanks for liking my reviews!
xNenia
Anyway, my reviewing blog, The Armchair Librarian, got its 50,000th page view this week.
I also got my 750th follower on Goodreads, too. ^_^
Thanks for liking my reviews!
xNenia
Bleeds My Desire Now Published!
My eleventh book is now available for purchase for only $1.99!
Get it on SMASHWORDS or from AMAZON (links take you to the book's page).
I'm also doing a FAQ, so if you have any questions you'd like to ask me - either about me, personally, a specific book I've written or plan to write, or my writing process in general, put in your questions HERE. I'll put the questions AND my answers into a finished post in a week or so. :)
As always, I thank you for your support and friendship!
xNenia
Get it on SMASHWORDS or from AMAZON (links take you to the book's page).
I'm also doing a FAQ, so if you have any questions you'd like to ask me - either about me, personally, a specific book I've written or plan to write, or my writing process in general, put in your questions HERE. I'll put the questions AND my answers into a finished post in a week or so. :)
As always, I thank you for your support and friendship!
xNenia
March 1, 2014
Ask Me Anything
I thought it would be fun to do a FAQ/getting to know you blogpost.
So in the preliminary stages, I thought I'd solicit questions from you guys- stuff about my books, about me, about being an indie author...anything!
What would you like to know?
Ask now! And ye shall receive! :D
So in the preliminary stages, I thought I'd solicit questions from you guys- stuff about my books, about me, about being an indie author...anything!
What would you like to know?
Ask now! And ye shall receive! :D
BLEEDS MY DESIRE Now Available for Purchase in Smashwords!!!
I just uploaded my newest book, Bleeds My Desire, to Smashwords and Kindle.
You can get it in a variety of formats from Smashwords here: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...
The Kindle version is under review and should be available for purchase in twelve hours.
I look forward to seeing what you guys think!!!
You can get it in a variety of formats from Smashwords here: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view...
The Kindle version is under review and should be available for purchase in twelve hours.
I look forward to seeing what you guys think!!!
