Nenia Campbell's Blog - Posts Tagged "rants"
Why I Am Appalled By High School English
Seeing as how I love both reading and writing, you'd think that English would have been my favorite subject back in high school. Nope! In fact, in many cases, it was my least favorite class. Why? Because of the choices of books my school implemented in the curriculum.
I feel like in order for something to be classified as worthy of our time, it has to be either (a) depressing as eff (case in point: Sophocles, R+J, John Steinbeck, Brave New World, etc.), (b) disturbing as eff (case in point: American Psycho, Clockwork Orange, 1984, Titus Andronicus, etc.), or boring as eff (case in point: all the other books).
And what is the result? A whole lotta high school kids who, under the books section of their Facebooks and Myspaces (assuming they are even literate enough to get to this point), have written things like:
"i dont read."
"books r gay."
"twilite and fiftey shades of grey i gess. i dont rlly red much, tho."
"whats a book? oh u meen movies."
Every time you say these things, a hoverball kitty deflates. :(
Kids learn to associate books (which they hate) with school (which they hate even more), and exams (which they hate most of all). The result is a knee-jerk Pavlovian reaction that induces cold sweats, test-taking anxiety, and the disturbing feeling that somehow, somewhere, your junior English teacher is lurking behind you like a vulture, waiting for your head to turn even slightly so she can bust you for cheating.
1. Antigone.
Why on earth would you choose this play? What kind of a message is this to send to young women? If you stand up for your beliefs, you'll die- so you better get your ass back to the kitchen? Also, it's depressing as hell (all the Sophocles plays are, and really, it's a play: it should be seen on stage, and not read in some stuffy English classroom.
Suggested replacement: Lysistrata.
Which brings us to:
2. Pretty much anything by William Shakespeare.
He is a playwright. Plays are meant to be seen and not read. I hate Romeo and Juliet; I get why they teach it, since it's one of the few classic works teens actually feel simpatico with, it really sends a bad message. I am appalled by how many people consider Romeo and Juliet the "ultimate" love story. Then again, I'm appalled by how many people are saying the same thing about The Book that Shall Not Be Named.
Suggested replacement(s): The Taming of the Shrew (paired with 10 Things I Hate About you, ofc) and Twelfth Night. Also, poetry by John Dunne. He's my favorite.
Or, conversely, teach Romeo and Juliet, and then juxtapose it against Jane Eyre or Pride and Prejudice. ("This is how it's done, ladies. Don't marry the first guy who tells you that you're hot- especially if his wedding vows could also be read as a suicide pact.")
3. Candide.
I had to read this book twice- once in college, once in high school. I disliked it equally both times. It's not fun. In fact, it's pretty much the ANTITHESIS of fun. The book basically makes fun of poor Leibniz's philosophies of optimism. Maybe it's just me, but Voltaire kind of sounds like an @$$h*le. And a bitter one, at that. I certainly wouldn't invite him to my parties. Maybe that's why the French tossed him in jail. Maybe he was going around telling people that this wasn't the best of all possible words, and would find themselves afflicted with syphilis, multiple gang-rapes, and having to settle for less. Hooray?
Suggested replacement: Don Quixote. It's just as satirical, and provides just as much of a running commentary, but it's fun! Adventures, swashbuckling, loose women, a fat guy on a donkey- this book has everything. And the best part is, the first book is light-hearted and funny, and the second book is bitter and jaded. There's something for everyone!
4. Pretty much anything by John Steinbeck, but especially Of Mice and Men and The Grapes of Wrath.
Don't get me wrong. I think it's fantastic that Steinbeck manages to capture the voices of the disenfranchised folk of the dustbowl times, but a lot of high school students aren't going to want to read about a bunch of old fogeys whining about how their crops won't grow. Lord knows, I was bored stiff, and kept sneaking Stephen King under the table until it eventually got me in trouble. Teach Steinbeck in college- especially graduate school; there, at least, the students will have some idea of what it means to be dirt poor and exploited.
Suggested replacement: Pretty much anything by Willa Cather. She also writes about the American frontier, but her characters are far more likable and younger, too. Her writing is absolutely gorgeous, and she could write anything from a poignant love story to an epic slice-of-life. Start the kiddies with My Antonia (especially after R+J), and then when you've got 'em hooked, spring Death Comes for the Archbishop.
5. Brave New World.
I really don't like this book. It's one of my least favorite dystopian novels. In fact, for the longest time, I thought I hated science-fiction because I couldn't stand the crap they were force-feeding me in my Satire and Humanities courses in high school. What the hell. Brave New World, 1984, Cat's Cradle- I don't want to read that sh*z! I'm in high school for god's sake; don't you think I'm depressed enough already?
Suggested replacement(s): Blindness (it's foreign and it's dystopian- two birds with one stone! Give them culture while scaring the poo out of them!), Anthem (it precedes both BNW and 1984, and it's super short), The Road, and Oryx and Crake. If you haven't read Oryx and Crake, check that sucker out right now, as well as it's sequel, Year of the Flood. I can't wait for the third book. I CAN'T-
6. The Miracle Worker.
Now hold on a second, you're thinking. The Miracle Worker is about Helen Keller; surely you're not about to discriminate against a deaf person! A deaf AND blind person who taught herself to speak!
Of course not! But instead of reading a shitty, hackneyed play about Helen Keller, why not actually read about Helen Keller? She wrote her own book about her own life- and a whole lot of it appears to have gotten lost in translation (which doesn't really say much for the hearing/seeing world, if you ask me).
Suggested recommendation: The Story of My Life. I always thought she was interesting, but I fell in love with her a little more when I found out via Lies My History Teacher Told Me that Helen Keller was also a feminist AND an activist, who fought for the rights of other minorities caught on the fringe! What a bad-ass!
7. The Crucible, Inherit the wind.
[Comment has been deleted for violating the English language and pretty much all sense of common decency- rather like these books]
Suggested replacement:
I feel like in order for something to be classified as worthy of our time, it has to be either (a) depressing as eff (case in point: Sophocles, R+J, John Steinbeck, Brave New World, etc.), (b) disturbing as eff (case in point: American Psycho, Clockwork Orange, 1984, Titus Andronicus, etc.), or boring as eff (case in point: all the other books).
And what is the result? A whole lotta high school kids who, under the books section of their Facebooks and Myspaces (assuming they are even literate enough to get to this point), have written things like:
"i dont read."
"books r gay."
"twilite and fiftey shades of grey i gess. i dont rlly red much, tho."
"whats a book? oh u meen movies."
Every time you say these things, a hoverball kitty deflates. :(
Kids learn to associate books (which they hate) with school (which they hate even more), and exams (which they hate most of all). The result is a knee-jerk Pavlovian reaction that induces cold sweats, test-taking anxiety, and the disturbing feeling that somehow, somewhere, your junior English teacher is lurking behind you like a vulture, waiting for your head to turn even slightly so she can bust you for cheating.
1. Antigone.
Why on earth would you choose this play? What kind of a message is this to send to young women? If you stand up for your beliefs, you'll die- so you better get your ass back to the kitchen? Also, it's depressing as hell (all the Sophocles plays are, and really, it's a play: it should be seen on stage, and not read in some stuffy English classroom.
Suggested replacement: Lysistrata.
Which brings us to:
2. Pretty much anything by William Shakespeare.
He is a playwright. Plays are meant to be seen and not read. I hate Romeo and Juliet; I get why they teach it, since it's one of the few classic works teens actually feel simpatico with, it really sends a bad message. I am appalled by how many people consider Romeo and Juliet the "ultimate" love story. Then again, I'm appalled by how many people are saying the same thing about The Book that Shall Not Be Named.
Suggested replacement(s): The Taming of the Shrew (paired with 10 Things I Hate About you, ofc) and Twelfth Night. Also, poetry by John Dunne. He's my favorite.
Or, conversely, teach Romeo and Juliet, and then juxtapose it against Jane Eyre or Pride and Prejudice. ("This is how it's done, ladies. Don't marry the first guy who tells you that you're hot- especially if his wedding vows could also be read as a suicide pact.")
3. Candide.
I had to read this book twice- once in college, once in high school. I disliked it equally both times. It's not fun. In fact, it's pretty much the ANTITHESIS of fun. The book basically makes fun of poor Leibniz's philosophies of optimism. Maybe it's just me, but Voltaire kind of sounds like an @$$h*le. And a bitter one, at that. I certainly wouldn't invite him to my parties. Maybe that's why the French tossed him in jail. Maybe he was going around telling people that this wasn't the best of all possible words, and would find themselves afflicted with syphilis, multiple gang-rapes, and having to settle for less. Hooray?
Suggested replacement: Don Quixote. It's just as satirical, and provides just as much of a running commentary, but it's fun! Adventures, swashbuckling, loose women, a fat guy on a donkey- this book has everything. And the best part is, the first book is light-hearted and funny, and the second book is bitter and jaded. There's something for everyone!
4. Pretty much anything by John Steinbeck, but especially Of Mice and Men and The Grapes of Wrath.
Don't get me wrong. I think it's fantastic that Steinbeck manages to capture the voices of the disenfranchised folk of the dustbowl times, but a lot of high school students aren't going to want to read about a bunch of old fogeys whining about how their crops won't grow. Lord knows, I was bored stiff, and kept sneaking Stephen King under the table until it eventually got me in trouble. Teach Steinbeck in college- especially graduate school; there, at least, the students will have some idea of what it means to be dirt poor and exploited.
Suggested replacement: Pretty much anything by Willa Cather. She also writes about the American frontier, but her characters are far more likable and younger, too. Her writing is absolutely gorgeous, and she could write anything from a poignant love story to an epic slice-of-life. Start the kiddies with My Antonia (especially after R+J), and then when you've got 'em hooked, spring Death Comes for the Archbishop.
5. Brave New World.
I really don't like this book. It's one of my least favorite dystopian novels. In fact, for the longest time, I thought I hated science-fiction because I couldn't stand the crap they were force-feeding me in my Satire and Humanities courses in high school. What the hell. Brave New World, 1984, Cat's Cradle- I don't want to read that sh*z! I'm in high school for god's sake; don't you think I'm depressed enough already?
Suggested replacement(s): Blindness (it's foreign and it's dystopian- two birds with one stone! Give them culture while scaring the poo out of them!), Anthem (it precedes both BNW and 1984, and it's super short), The Road, and Oryx and Crake. If you haven't read Oryx and Crake, check that sucker out right now, as well as it's sequel, Year of the Flood. I can't wait for the third book. I CAN'T-
6. The Miracle Worker.
Now hold on a second, you're thinking. The Miracle Worker is about Helen Keller; surely you're not about to discriminate against a deaf person! A deaf AND blind person who taught herself to speak!
Of course not! But instead of reading a shitty, hackneyed play about Helen Keller, why not actually read about Helen Keller? She wrote her own book about her own life- and a whole lot of it appears to have gotten lost in translation (which doesn't really say much for the hearing/seeing world, if you ask me).
Suggested recommendation: The Story of My Life. I always thought she was interesting, but I fell in love with her a little more when I found out via Lies My History Teacher Told Me that Helen Keller was also a feminist AND an activist, who fought for the rights of other minorities caught on the fringe! What a bad-ass!
7. The Crucible, Inherit the wind.
[Comment has been deleted for violating the English language and pretty much all sense of common decency- rather like these books]
Suggested replacement:
The Rape Fantasy Epidemic
I have noticed a disturbing trend in fiction these days: a glorified and romanticized portrayal of abusive men as some kind of romantic ideal. It's becoming inescapable and, frankly, it makes me sick. Physically sick.
Now I'm not saying that these issues should be swept under the table. I know people who have experienced these types of things, and talking- telling your story- can be one of the best means of catharsis. I would honestly be glad to see more books about rape and abuse, if only to shed light on just how these sorts of vicious cycles come to fruition. Because knowing is half the battle. But portraying Joe Rapist as being sexy because he's pretty and rolling in money is not okay. Rape is still rape, whether you're rich or poor, beautiful or ugly.
But no always means no.
I'll be honest. Byronic heroes are fun to write. It's boring writing about nice people because nice people generally don't eff up their lives or the lives of the people around them. Mostly they just do stuff like chilling with their friends and family, going to work and/or school, and getting on with their own lives. This is not quite so interesting to read about in fiction. I like writing about disturbed characters because they have so much depth, and it's fun to explore their personalities, and find out what makes them tick.
But I also know the difference between fantasy and reality, and 99% of the men I read about in romance novels, I would never, ever date (Mr. Tilney and Mr. Darcy being exceptions, ofc). What worries me is that a lot of young women- and even not-so-young women- don't seem to be able to tell the difference. They get a false set of expectations propagating outmoded patriarchal chauvinism not much different than what we see happening in some third world countries right now. I see otherwise intelligent and savvy women date men who make them miserable, and they think it's true love because they've got physical chemistry and nothing else. Really?
I sometimes get asked if I would ever date any of the characters in my own stories. The answer is, of course, a flat-out no. In fact, if I ever (god forbid) encountered anyone like them, I'd most likely run the other way. I make a point of condemning the male characters in my books for their bad actions and insensitive choices. A point that some seem determined to ignore. One of the critical plotpoints in my book Cloak and Dagger actually revolves around the female main character being unable to forgive an irreparable act of cruelty.
Rape is not romantic. Abuse is not romantic. Stalking is not romantic. Fear is not romantic. Control is not romantic. Subjugation is not romantic. Rather than using these attributes to portray a man as "broken" "damaged" and "tormented", romance novels should focus on the tragic consequences that arise from these sorts of relationships, and just how difficult forgiveness and redemption really are to achieve.
The fact that these stories walk hand-in-hand with purity myths and slut-shaming just makes me ill.
Now I'm not saying that these issues should be swept under the table. I know people who have experienced these types of things, and talking- telling your story- can be one of the best means of catharsis. I would honestly be glad to see more books about rape and abuse, if only to shed light on just how these sorts of vicious cycles come to fruition. Because knowing is half the battle. But portraying Joe Rapist as being sexy because he's pretty and rolling in money is not okay. Rape is still rape, whether you're rich or poor, beautiful or ugly.
But no always means no.
I'll be honest. Byronic heroes are fun to write. It's boring writing about nice people because nice people generally don't eff up their lives or the lives of the people around them. Mostly they just do stuff like chilling with their friends and family, going to work and/or school, and getting on with their own lives. This is not quite so interesting to read about in fiction. I like writing about disturbed characters because they have so much depth, and it's fun to explore their personalities, and find out what makes them tick.
But I also know the difference between fantasy and reality, and 99% of the men I read about in romance novels, I would never, ever date (Mr. Tilney and Mr. Darcy being exceptions, ofc). What worries me is that a lot of young women- and even not-so-young women- don't seem to be able to tell the difference. They get a false set of expectations propagating outmoded patriarchal chauvinism not much different than what we see happening in some third world countries right now. I see otherwise intelligent and savvy women date men who make them miserable, and they think it's true love because they've got physical chemistry and nothing else. Really?
I sometimes get asked if I would ever date any of the characters in my own stories. The answer is, of course, a flat-out no. In fact, if I ever (god forbid) encountered anyone like them, I'd most likely run the other way. I make a point of condemning the male characters in my books for their bad actions and insensitive choices. A point that some seem determined to ignore. One of the critical plotpoints in my book Cloak and Dagger actually revolves around the female main character being unable to forgive an irreparable act of cruelty.
Rape is not romantic. Abuse is not romantic. Stalking is not romantic. Fear is not romantic. Control is not romantic. Subjugation is not romantic. Rather than using these attributes to portray a man as "broken" "damaged" and "tormented", romance novels should focus on the tragic consequences that arise from these sorts of relationships, and just how difficult forgiveness and redemption really are to achieve.
The fact that these stories walk hand-in-hand with purity myths and slut-shaming just makes me ill.
The Fanfiction Alphabet Book
By Me, Nenia Campbell
A is for... Alternate Universe
For when you're too lazy to do your research.
B is for... Beta
A mythological creature. Good luck finding one.
C is for... Cannon
This is what die-hard fans will shoot you out of if you violate their OTP.
D is for... Darkfic
Proof that depressed teenagers should not be allowed on the computer.
E is for... Editing
Another mythological creature.
F is for... Fluff
What would happen if Nicholas Sparks rewrote your favorite fandom.
G is for... Gender-Bender
Please turn your textbooks to page 63.
H is for... Hiatus
When even the author can no longer stand to read their own crap.
I is for... In-Character
Don't worry about this one; you'll never come across it.
J is for... Jokefic
See entry for "Kid."
K is for... Kid
Most likely a crackfic in disguise wearing a false mustache and talking to his good friend, Mr. Inanimate Object, about the importance of wearing a condom when you're out weeding the garden.
L is for... Lemon
An acidic fruit full of vitamin C.
M is for... Mpreg
Because anatomy is just another word for 'boring.'
N is for... Non-Con
Putting the 'sensual' into non-consensual.
O is for... OOC
The characters you are about to read resemble their bookverse counterparts in name only.
P is for... Plotbunny
Nefarious, invisible creatures that devour the answers to questions like "what the hell is going on?" "why is the character doing that?" and "what is the plot of this fic again?"
Q is for... Queer
What happens when your favorite characters are dragged, kicking and screaming, into the GBLT community.
R is for... Rule 34
If it exists, it has been violated- literally- in some shape or form. Nothing is sacred.
S is for... Smut
Even the author admits that their fic is nothing more than a pretext for gratuitous sex.
T is for... Teen
Something to screen for when you're looking for smut.
U is for... Unresolved Sexual Tension
Akin to holding a carrot over a horse's head to make it run faster.
V is for... Vore
Taking the phrase 'playing with your food' to a literal, and extremely disturbing, level.
W is for... WIP
Author has no intention of completing the fic, but is too sadistic to admit it.
X is for... XXX
Please refer to "smut."
Y is for... Yaoi/Yuri
Slash with anime eyes drawn on.
Z is for... 'Zine
What happens in fanfiction does not necessarily stay on fanfiction websites.
A is for... Alternate Universe
For when you're too lazy to do your research.
B is for... Beta
A mythological creature. Good luck finding one.
C is for... Cannon
This is what die-hard fans will shoot you out of if you violate their OTP.
D is for... Darkfic
Proof that depressed teenagers should not be allowed on the computer.
E is for... Editing
Another mythological creature.
F is for... Fluff
What would happen if Nicholas Sparks rewrote your favorite fandom.
G is for... Gender-Bender
Please turn your textbooks to page 63.
H is for... Hiatus
When even the author can no longer stand to read their own crap.
I is for... In-Character
Don't worry about this one; you'll never come across it.
J is for... Jokefic
See entry for "Kid."
K is for... Kid
Most likely a crackfic in disguise wearing a false mustache and talking to his good friend, Mr. Inanimate Object, about the importance of wearing a condom when you're out weeding the garden.
L is for... Lemon
An acidic fruit full of vitamin C.
M is for... Mpreg
Because anatomy is just another word for 'boring.'
N is for... Non-Con
Putting the 'sensual' into non-consensual.
O is for... OOC
The characters you are about to read resemble their bookverse counterparts in name only.
P is for... Plotbunny
Nefarious, invisible creatures that devour the answers to questions like "what the hell is going on?" "why is the character doing that?" and "what is the plot of this fic again?"
Q is for... Queer
What happens when your favorite characters are dragged, kicking and screaming, into the GBLT community.
R is for... Rule 34
If it exists, it has been violated- literally- in some shape or form. Nothing is sacred.
S is for... Smut
Even the author admits that their fic is nothing more than a pretext for gratuitous sex.
T is for... Teen
Something to screen for when you're looking for smut.
U is for... Unresolved Sexual Tension
Akin to holding a carrot over a horse's head to make it run faster.
V is for... Vore
Taking the phrase 'playing with your food' to a literal, and extremely disturbing, level.
W is for... WIP
Author has no intention of completing the fic, but is too sadistic to admit it.
X is for... XXX
Please refer to "smut."
Y is for... Yaoi/Yuri
Slash with anime eyes drawn on.
Z is for... 'Zine
What happens in fanfiction does not necessarily stay on fanfiction websites.
I Wanna Be a Billionaire So Freakin' Bad?
It's been a while since I've posted an essay/rant, and this is something that's been on my mind for a long time. I just watched the Southpark episode making fun of EA games, and it made me wonder.
Why do people need so much money?
We're seeing the so-called Rags-to-Riches fairytale more than ever with people who started in 'obscurity' and then rose to fame.
And yet... when these people are interviewed, they don't seem humbled or even particularly grateful to their fanbase. Yes, talent is important, but talent would be nothing if you didn't have people willing to support you--either fiscally, socially, or even by word of mouth.
You can't take all that money with you, and I am not cool with the idea of heirs and heiresses--I feel like that only exacerbates the effect of entitlement, knowing that you have a nest egg. Money should be contingent on effort.
Shouldn't these people give something back? Look at what Bill Gates and Paul Newman did--they gave so much.
I won't lie--I wouldn't mind the idea of spending the rest of my life being fiscally secure. But there's secure, and there's hedonistic. And it definitely shouldn't be about a race to the Fortune 500.
I'm going to make a resolution, right here and now, that if I ever find myself with more money I could possibly spend in one lifetime, I'll carve out a chunk for my younger siblings' higher education, make sure my parents live out their twilight years as comfortably as my dawning ones, and set up a scholarship fund at my three alma maters.
Why do people need so much money?
We're seeing the so-called Rags-to-Riches fairytale more than ever with people who started in 'obscurity' and then rose to fame.
And yet... when these people are interviewed, they don't seem humbled or even particularly grateful to their fanbase. Yes, talent is important, but talent would be nothing if you didn't have people willing to support you--either fiscally, socially, or even by word of mouth.
You can't take all that money with you, and I am not cool with the idea of heirs and heiresses--I feel like that only exacerbates the effect of entitlement, knowing that you have a nest egg. Money should be contingent on effort.
Shouldn't these people give something back? Look at what Bill Gates and Paul Newman did--they gave so much.
I won't lie--I wouldn't mind the idea of spending the rest of my life being fiscally secure. But there's secure, and there's hedonistic. And it definitely shouldn't be about a race to the Fortune 500.
I'm going to make a resolution, right here and now, that if I ever find myself with more money I could possibly spend in one lifetime, I'll carve out a chunk for my younger siblings' higher education, make sure my parents live out their twilight years as comfortably as my dawning ones, and set up a scholarship fund at my three alma maters.
Reader, Reviewer...Author: Not Mutually Exclusive
There is a controversy on Goodreads about an issue that I find very interesting (and not just because it happens to be personally relevant). Should authors be permitted to read and review the works of other authors on public platforms like Goodreads, or Amazon, where everyone else can see them? Should they interact with their own reviewers?
From what I've read, both sides of this argument have good points.
Some believe that openly reading and reviewing others' works opens the door to "revenge-rating" and other schoolyard-esque intimidation tactics that wouldn't occur if the author had decided to lie low, or give everyone four or five star ratings.
On the other hand, authors tend to do just as much reading as anyone else--if not more--and shouldn't they be entitled to the same rights as other individuals as long as they are respectful and adhere to the golden rule?
The problem, I think, is that you can't really generalize a situation like this because people are so diverse and unpredictable. We all put our feet in our mouths sometimes, but authors as public figures are doubly culpable because their opinions reflect badly not only on themselves as people, but also on their books and their standing as an author/figure in the publishing industry.
The "just be nice" rule doesn't work, either, because rating everything positively only causes readers to be that much more disappointed and angry when they spend their money on a book on the basis of a favorite author's endorsement, only to find that it is (for them, in any case) crap. Their respect for the writer diminishes as a result. Of course, you could just NOT rate anything, but what's the point in that? That's no fun at all.
My policy when it comes to reviewing is pretty straightforward, and can be summed up in five points. It's probably not the best strategy, but that's why I'm posting this in a blog. Because it will be interesting to see if this generates a debate on the topic. I know for many of you, active GoodReads authors are a hot button.
1. Don't write things that you wouldn't be comfortable having said about your own work. This doesn't mean that you have to coat everything in sugar, but if you tear people's books to shreds you shouldn't be surprised or angered or personally offended if someone one day decides to do the same thing to you.
I am a harsh critic--but I don't hold people to standards any different from the ones that I use for myself. If my characterization falls flat, or if I have a typo on page 345, I'd like to know about it. And if someone gives your book a 1-star rating, well. It's not the end of the world. Oh well. Move on.
2. Be honest, but polite. Don't feed the trolls, but give people the benefit of the doubt. Some people on this site seem determined to provoke others into flames and rants. Others may seem provocative at a glance, but if you talk to them you may realize that their wording was a casualty to the nuance-less black hole that is internet communication. If the person does turn out to be a troll, thank them for their opinion and end it at that. This isn't LOSING. It's being a mature adult.
3. Don't be pretentious. Being an author does not make you a better person, nor does it give your opinions more weight. Going after people for not "getting" your book is not a very nice thing to do. Books are subjective. People may read different things out of them than you intended. Lord knows my books have garnered some pretty interesting interpretations.
But beyond that, it's important that you not attempt to define yourself by the books you read. Filling your bookshelves with nothing but classics does not mean you're Shakespeare. People KNOW that you read other things besides The Great Gatsby. You aren't fooling anyone except yourself.
One of the best things about being a writer is that you get to share all the books that inspired YOU with other people. I always love it when people tell me that they stalk my shelves for good reads (ha!), because I want to support the authors I love. That's why I make my shelves so silly. I want curious individuals to peruse them. I've made so many connections on this site through a mutual love for a book/series. It's wonderful. I hope one day people will bond like that over my books. ♥
4. Accept the fact that you are a biased individual. You, as the author, probably think your books are the cat's meow. Other people might not agree. And since they are paying for your book and you aren't, you might want to pay them some mind. Feedback will never be 100% positive. Just as there will always be someone who hates you for being you, there will always be someone who hates what you write just because of the genre, the topic, or even the fact that you, as a person, wrote it. Sometimes they will have something of value to say. Sometimes they might just say "this book sucks donkey." If you can't think of anything constructive to say in response, don't respond. I, personally, think it's ok for authors to (politely) ask for elaboration in a critical review, but if the person reacts to you hostilely you should probably just leave them alone, lest you be branded as a bully. (And if the person makes it clear that they don't WANT you commenting on their reviews, then you are being a bully, even if you are being polite.)
5. Be your own worst critic. I am! And it works. If you are hard on yourself, then nothing that anyone says will come as a surprise to you. It will also make you better at picking out your own errors. Don't be afraid to cut out unnecessary descriptions, adverbs, adjectives, punctuation, and italics. If you are constantly chanting "I am not perfect I am not perfect," then when someone tells you "You are not perfect," you will just be like, 'Yeah, so? :D' Plus, it will make your own reviews that much better when you provide concrete examples for why YOU didn't like a book.
And that's a wrap! What do you think?
From what I've read, both sides of this argument have good points.
Some believe that openly reading and reviewing others' works opens the door to "revenge-rating" and other schoolyard-esque intimidation tactics that wouldn't occur if the author had decided to lie low, or give everyone four or five star ratings.
On the other hand, authors tend to do just as much reading as anyone else--if not more--and shouldn't they be entitled to the same rights as other individuals as long as they are respectful and adhere to the golden rule?
The problem, I think, is that you can't really generalize a situation like this because people are so diverse and unpredictable. We all put our feet in our mouths sometimes, but authors as public figures are doubly culpable because their opinions reflect badly not only on themselves as people, but also on their books and their standing as an author/figure in the publishing industry.
The "just be nice" rule doesn't work, either, because rating everything positively only causes readers to be that much more disappointed and angry when they spend their money on a book on the basis of a favorite author's endorsement, only to find that it is (for them, in any case) crap. Their respect for the writer diminishes as a result. Of course, you could just NOT rate anything, but what's the point in that? That's no fun at all.
My policy when it comes to reviewing is pretty straightforward, and can be summed up in five points. It's probably not the best strategy, but that's why I'm posting this in a blog. Because it will be interesting to see if this generates a debate on the topic. I know for many of you, active GoodReads authors are a hot button.
1. Don't write things that you wouldn't be comfortable having said about your own work. This doesn't mean that you have to coat everything in sugar, but if you tear people's books to shreds you shouldn't be surprised or angered or personally offended if someone one day decides to do the same thing to you.
I am a harsh critic--but I don't hold people to standards any different from the ones that I use for myself. If my characterization falls flat, or if I have a typo on page 345, I'd like to know about it. And if someone gives your book a 1-star rating, well. It's not the end of the world. Oh well. Move on.
2. Be honest, but polite. Don't feed the trolls, but give people the benefit of the doubt. Some people on this site seem determined to provoke others into flames and rants. Others may seem provocative at a glance, but if you talk to them you may realize that their wording was a casualty to the nuance-less black hole that is internet communication. If the person does turn out to be a troll, thank them for their opinion and end it at that. This isn't LOSING. It's being a mature adult.
3. Don't be pretentious. Being an author does not make you a better person, nor does it give your opinions more weight. Going after people for not "getting" your book is not a very nice thing to do. Books are subjective. People may read different things out of them than you intended. Lord knows my books have garnered some pretty interesting interpretations.
But beyond that, it's important that you not attempt to define yourself by the books you read. Filling your bookshelves with nothing but classics does not mean you're Shakespeare. People KNOW that you read other things besides The Great Gatsby. You aren't fooling anyone except yourself.
One of the best things about being a writer is that you get to share all the books that inspired YOU with other people. I always love it when people tell me that they stalk my shelves for good reads (ha!), because I want to support the authors I love. That's why I make my shelves so silly. I want curious individuals to peruse them. I've made so many connections on this site through a mutual love for a book/series. It's wonderful. I hope one day people will bond like that over my books. ♥
4. Accept the fact that you are a biased individual. You, as the author, probably think your books are the cat's meow. Other people might not agree. And since they are paying for your book and you aren't, you might want to pay them some mind. Feedback will never be 100% positive. Just as there will always be someone who hates you for being you, there will always be someone who hates what you write just because of the genre, the topic, or even the fact that you, as a person, wrote it. Sometimes they will have something of value to say. Sometimes they might just say "this book sucks donkey." If you can't think of anything constructive to say in response, don't respond. I, personally, think it's ok for authors to (politely) ask for elaboration in a critical review, but if the person reacts to you hostilely you should probably just leave them alone, lest you be branded as a bully. (And if the person makes it clear that they don't WANT you commenting on their reviews, then you are being a bully, even if you are being polite.)
5. Be your own worst critic. I am! And it works. If you are hard on yourself, then nothing that anyone says will come as a surprise to you. It will also make you better at picking out your own errors. Don't be afraid to cut out unnecessary descriptions, adverbs, adjectives, punctuation, and italics. If you are constantly chanting "I am not perfect I am not perfect," then when someone tells you "You are not perfect," you will just be like, 'Yeah, so? :D' Plus, it will make your own reviews that much better when you provide concrete examples for why YOU didn't like a book.
And that's a wrap! What do you think?
Nenia Campbell and the Case of the Special Snowflake
SS: Hello! My name is Special! Special Snowflake!
Me: Oh God. Not you again.
SS: I'm not like other girls.
Me: Yes. You are. You're EXACTLY like other girls.
SS: Nuh-uh!
Me: You. Are not. Special.
SS: Oh yeah? Then why don't people understand me? Huh? Why not?
Me: They do. They just don't like you.
SS: Because they're jealous whores who want to steal away my one true soulmate?
Me: No. Because you're a slut-shaming insecurity complex wrapped up in wishful thinking and tied with a bow that doesn't know it's pretty.
SS: But I'm not pretty! My Aryian good looks make me a freak of nature! Who could ever love a girl with white skin, blue eyes, and blonde hair? I'm hideous!
Me: ...also, you have the emotional depth of a mirror.
SS: That's not true! Bitch! *cries* I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. You're right. I don't know anything. I AM A WORM! *glare* But still you're only saying that because you're a slut who's jealous.
Me: Of what?
SS: My super powers!
Me: *not impressed*
SS: My good looks!
Me: You just said you weren't pretty!
SS: My sex god boyfriend thinks I am, and everything he says is gospel truth. *gasp* Oh my god! That's it! You want to steal my boyfriend!
Me: You mean the one who tried to KILL you? I don't think so.
SS: Then... OH GOD. YOU'RE A LESBIAN. YOU WANT ME. NOOOOO. HETEROSEXUAL MONORACIAL MARRIAGE IS THE ONLY REAL FORM OF LOOOOOOOVEEEE.
Me: Okay, that's it. No person could possibly be this obnoxious and fake and idiotic. Let's see who you really are.
SS: What are you doing? Stay away from me! Help! Rape! I'll blast you with sparkle magic!
Me: *pulls off mask* Holy shit. It's the author!
Author: And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling reviewers.
/every bad YA book ever
Me: Oh God. Not you again.
SS: I'm not like other girls.
Me: Yes. You are. You're EXACTLY like other girls.
SS: Nuh-uh!
Me: You. Are not. Special.
SS: Oh yeah? Then why don't people understand me? Huh? Why not?
Me: They do. They just don't like you.
SS: Because they're jealous whores who want to steal away my one true soulmate?
Me: No. Because you're a slut-shaming insecurity complex wrapped up in wishful thinking and tied with a bow that doesn't know it's pretty.
SS: But I'm not pretty! My Aryian good looks make me a freak of nature! Who could ever love a girl with white skin, blue eyes, and blonde hair? I'm hideous!
Me: ...also, you have the emotional depth of a mirror.
SS: That's not true! Bitch! *cries* I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. You're right. I don't know anything. I AM A WORM! *glare* But still you're only saying that because you're a slut who's jealous.
Me: Of what?
SS: My super powers!
Me: *not impressed*
SS: My good looks!
Me: You just said you weren't pretty!
SS: My sex god boyfriend thinks I am, and everything he says is gospel truth. *gasp* Oh my god! That's it! You want to steal my boyfriend!
Me: You mean the one who tried to KILL you? I don't think so.
SS: Then... OH GOD. YOU'RE A LESBIAN. YOU WANT ME. NOOOOO. HETEROSEXUAL MONORACIAL MARRIAGE IS THE ONLY REAL FORM OF LOOOOOOOVEEEE.
Me: Okay, that's it. No person could possibly be this obnoxious and fake and idiotic. Let's see who you really are.
SS: What are you doing? Stay away from me! Help! Rape! I'll blast you with sparkle magic!
Me: *pulls off mask* Holy shit. It's the author!
Author: And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for you meddling reviewers.
/every bad YA book ever
Notes on the Genre by a Female Sci-Fi Fan
I used to hate science-fiction because the only examples I'd ever read were the horrible dystopian novels that I'd been assigned as required reading in school (1984, Cat's Cradle, Brave New World, etc.). I thought the entire genre consisted of those, and of the horrendously bad space-opera that people portray nerds reading--the kind like the Barsoom series, except with skimpier outfits and trashier writing.
It wasn't until my freshman year of college that I really got into the science-fiction and fantasy genres. I made a point to read pretty much everything I could get my hands on, and because of this, I was soon able to tell the "good" from the "bad" (at least where my own opinion is concerned).
A lot of people are confused by the distinction between science-fiction and fantasy, and tend to lump them together in one solid group (i.e. scifi-fantasy). Even though Robert Heinlein's writing unfailingly ends up pissing me off with its hackneyed prose and sexist themes, he summed up the difference between these two genres the best with his quote: One man's "magic" is another man's engineering. Basically, if the technology in question could be designed by an advanced race with the necessary skills, even if said race lives on another dimension/planet, the genre is probably science-fiction, which is why my own shelf for this genre, which mockingly thumbs its nose at Field of Dreams, is called "if-we-build-it-they-will-come."
SPACE OPERA
Space Opera is pretty much my favorite subgenre of science-fiction. The bad ones are laughably bad, but the good ones are completely amazeballs and can lead to better world-building than even the best fantasy. I grew up with the Animorphs series, which is a kid-friendly sci-fi about evil aliens that take over the brains of their hosts, and the teens who try to stop them. Sound familiar? I'm pretty sure Stephenie Meyer was an Animorphs fan, because her Souls are a lot like K.A. Applegate's Yeerks.
Space Opera takes place in space. Duh. There are space-ships, aliens, interstellar traveling, and it's basically a laser-light show x 10000000. Sometimes these various races are at war with one another, and sometimes the writers take a more anthropological approach, where visiting races learn compelling facts about the native inhabitants of the planet(s) in question.
Nenia's Favorite Space-Opera:
(o) Grass by Sheri S. Tepper
(o) The Snow Queen by Joan D. Vinge
(o) Stardoc by S.L. Viehl
(o) Grimspace by Ann Aguirre
(o) Ilium by Dan Simmons
(o) Gabriel's Ghost by Linnea Sinclair
DYSTOPIAN
I call this shelf 'help-help-i'm-being-repressed.' A dystopian society is the opposite of a utopia. Sometimes, it is even a utopia gone wrong (most famously, The Hunger Games, where the Games are meant to deter violence and revolution, and end up causing it in spades). Sometimes the dystopia is a society run by a tyrannical and oppressive government. Sometimes it is an anarchic free-for-all, frequently in the wake of an apocalypse, with nut-jobs running around and killing whomever they please. And sometimes, there is a single oppressed group, such as clones, or robots, or altered races. And sometimes, most terrifyingly, we become our own prisoners through excessive fucking around with science, or too heavy a reliance on technology.
However, a dystopian society does not even necessitate the presence of advanced science. Sometimes just putting a bunch of dysfunctional people together and then doing the literary equivalent of shaking up a bunch of beetles in a bottle to see if they'll fight is enough. Lord of the Flies, High Rise, and Battle Royale all fall into this category of dystopian novels, which I call "survivalist" fiction.
Nenia's Favorite Dystopians:
(o) Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
(o) The Road by Cormac McCarthy
(o) Under the Dome by Stephen King
(o) The Silver Metal Lover by Tanith Lee
(o) Wither by Lauren DeStefano
(o) Scored by Lauren McLaughlin
POST-APOCALYPTIC
Alternatively known as, "Ahhhhh, we're all going to die!" This genre can also be tagged as pre-apocalytpic and apocalyptic, but no matter what you call it, all books in this subgenre pretty much boil down to the same thing, which is ultimately the end of the world as we know it.
You might think that there are only so many ways that one could destroy the world, but you would be wrong. The possibilities are endless! Plagues, robots, aliens, zombies, technology, genetic-manipulation, dinosaurs--these are just some of the tools writers have used in this genre in the past.*
*It's important to note that while dystopians and post-apocalytpics are often used in tandem, they are not the same thing at all, and caution should be exercised when classifying science-fiction novels with these terms if you are not personally familiar with them.
Nenia's Favorite Post-Apocalyptic:
(o) Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood
(o) The Stand by Stephen King
(o) Cell by Stephen King
(o) Blindness by Jose Saramago
(o) The Dawning by Hugh B. Cave
CYBERPUNK
Cyberpunk novels frequently take place in the distant future and virtual-reality and/or video-games and/or the internet are all frequent and heavily used motifs in this subgenre.
After space-opera, this subgenre of science-fiction is probably my favorite. What can I say? I'm a recovering video-game addict living out my fantasies vicariously through the mode of reading.
Nenia's Favorite Cyberpunk:
(o) Ready Player One by Ernest Cline
(o) Heroes Die by Matthew Stover
(o) Omnitopia Dawn by Diane Duane
STEAMPUNK
Steampunk is the opposite of cyberpunk: it features comparatively primitive technology powered by steam or gears or ether, generally featuring nineteenth-century/early twentieth-century-era technology and terminology. This typically features a fun fusion of historical-fiction and science, though it can also take a more fantastical approach, like Soulless by Gail Carriger.
Nenia's Favorite Steampunk:
(o) The Windup Girl by Paolo Bacigalupi
(o) His Dark Materials by Phillip Pullman
(o) A Matter of Circumstances and Celludrones by Claire Robyns
(o) anything by Ekaterina Sedia
NEAR FUTURE
Near future is exactly what it sounds like. It is a science-fiction novel that takes place in a foreseeable future, and builds off of the technology that we already have available. This makes it all the more realistic and frightening, IMHO.
Nenia's Favorite Near Future:
(o) Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
(o) Contact by Carl Sagan
(o) Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton
(o) Andromeda Strain by Michael Crichton
TIME-TRAVEL
This is basically a pretext for a modern-day character to go back in the past (or into the future) and still have a narrative that is accessible to us humble twentieth and twenty-first centurions. I'm going to assume that you all know what time-travel is (trust me, I'm the Doctor), and it's such a fusion of other genres (fantasy, science-fiction, cyberpunk, dystopian, historical-fiction) that I'm not going to bother to go into it in much detail.
However, one of the best time-traveling novels I have ever read is by my favorite author, Sheri S. Tepper, and is called Beauty. It literally contains elements of everything I just described, and is such an aching portrayal of the trade-off between magic and mystery, and science and knowledge.
PRECURSORS AND EARLY SCIENCE-FICTION
Before science-fiction was really established as a genre, there were still some books that fell under this umbrella and are now considered the pioneers to shaping the genre. They tend to be more speculative than scientific, and harbor many elements of fantasy, as well.
Nenia's Favorite Precursors:
Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
The Island of Dr. Moreau by H.G. Wells
The Time Machine by H.G. Wells
The Lost World by Arthur Conan Doyle
And while I'm not personally a fan, Flatland and anything by Jules Verne also fall under this category.
Hope you enjoyed! Live long, and prosper! ♥
It wasn't until my freshman year of college that I really got into the science-fiction and fantasy genres. I made a point to read pretty much everything I could get my hands on, and because of this, I was soon able to tell the "good" from the "bad" (at least where my own opinion is concerned).
A lot of people are confused by the distinction between science-fiction and fantasy, and tend to lump them together in one solid group (i.e. scifi-fantasy). Even though Robert Heinlein's writing unfailingly ends up pissing me off with its hackneyed prose and sexist themes, he summed up the difference between these two genres the best with his quote: One man's "magic" is another man's engineering. Basically, if the technology in question could be designed by an advanced race with the necessary skills, even if said race lives on another dimension/planet, the genre is probably science-fiction, which is why my own shelf for this genre, which mockingly thumbs its nose at Field of Dreams, is called "if-we-build-it-they-will-come."
SPACE OPERA
Space Opera is pretty much my favorite subgenre of science-fiction. The bad ones are laughably bad, but the good ones are completely amazeballs and can lead to better world-building than even the best fantasy. I grew up with the Animorphs series, which is a kid-friendly sci-fi about evil aliens that take over the brains of their hosts, and the teens who try to stop them. Sound familiar? I'm pretty sure Stephenie Meyer was an Animorphs fan, because her Souls are a lot like K.A. Applegate's Yeerks.
Space Opera takes place in space. Duh. There are space-ships, aliens, interstellar traveling, and it's basically a laser-light show x 10000000. Sometimes these various races are at war with one another, and sometimes the writers take a more anthropological approach, where visiting races learn compelling facts about the native inhabitants of the planet(s) in question.
Nenia's Favorite Space-Opera:
(o) Grass by Sheri S. Tepper
(o) The Snow Queen by Joan D. Vinge
(o) Stardoc by S.L. Viehl
(o) Grimspace by Ann Aguirre
(o) Ilium by Dan Simmons
(o) Gabriel's Ghost by Linnea Sinclair
DYSTOPIAN
I call this shelf 'help-help-i'm-being-repressed.' A dystopian society is the opposite of a utopia. Sometimes, it is even a utopia gone wrong (most famously, The Hunger Games, where the Games are meant to deter violence and revolution, and end up causing it in spades). Sometimes the dystopia is a society run by a tyrannical and oppressive government. Sometimes it is an anarchic free-for-all, frequently in the wake of an apocalypse, with nut-jobs running around and killing whomever they please. And sometimes, there is a single oppressed group, such as clones, or robots, or altered races. And sometimes, most terrifyingly, we become our own prisoners through excessive fucking around with science, or too heavy a reliance on technology.
However, a dystopian society does not even necessitate the presence of advanced science. Sometimes just putting a bunch of dysfunctional people together and then doing the literary equivalent of shaking up a bunch of beetles in a bottle to see if they'll fight is enough. Lord of the Flies, High Rise, and Battle Royale all fall into this category of dystopian novels, which I call "survivalist" fiction.
Nenia's Favorite Dystopians:
(o) Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro
(o) The Road by Cormac McCarthy
(o) Under the Dome by Stephen King
(o) The Silver Metal Lover by Tanith Lee
(o) Wither by Lauren DeStefano
(o) Scored by Lauren McLaughlin
POST-APOCALYPTIC
Alternatively known as, "Ahhhhh, we're all going to die!" This genre can also be tagged as pre-apocalytpic and apocalyptic, but no matter what you call it, all books in this subgenre pretty much boil down to the same thing, which is ultimately the end of the world as we know it.
You might think that there are only so many ways that one could destroy the world, but you would be wrong. The possibilities are endless! Plagues, robots, aliens, zombies, technology, genetic-manipulation, dinosaurs--these are just some of the tools writers have used in this genre in the past.*
*It's important to note that while dystopians and post-apocalytpics are often used in tandem, they are not the same thing at all, and caution should be exercised when classifying science-fiction novels with these terms if you are not personally familiar with them.
Nenia's Favorite Post-Apocalyptic:
(o) Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood
(o) The Stand by Stephen King
(o) Cell by Stephen King
(o) Blindness by Jose Saramago
(o) The Dawning by Hugh B. Cave
CYBERPUNK
Cyberpunk novels frequently take place in the distant future and virtual-reality and/or video-games and/or the internet are all frequent and heavily used motifs in this subgenre.
After space-opera, this subgenre of science-fiction is probably my favorite. What can I say? I'm a recovering video-game addict living out my fantasies vicariously through the mode of reading.
Nenia's Favorite Cyberpunk:
(o) Ready Player One by Ernest Cline
(o) Heroes Die by Matthew Stover
(o) Omnitopia Dawn by Diane Duane
STEAMPUNK
Steampunk is the opposite of cyberpunk: it features comparatively primitive technology powered by steam or gears or ether, generally featuring nineteenth-century/early twentieth-century-era technology and terminology. This typically features a fun fusion of historical-fiction and science, though it can also take a more fantastical approach, like Soulless by Gail Carriger.
Nenia's Favorite Steampunk:
(o) The Windup Girl by Paolo Bacigalupi
(o) His Dark Materials by Phillip Pullman
(o) A Matter of Circumstances and Celludrones by Claire Robyns
(o) anything by Ekaterina Sedia
NEAR FUTURE
Near future is exactly what it sounds like. It is a science-fiction novel that takes place in a foreseeable future, and builds off of the technology that we already have available. This makes it all the more realistic and frightening, IMHO.
Nenia's Favorite Near Future:
(o) Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
(o) Contact by Carl Sagan
(o) Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton
(o) Andromeda Strain by Michael Crichton
TIME-TRAVEL
This is basically a pretext for a modern-day character to go back in the past (or into the future) and still have a narrative that is accessible to us humble twentieth and twenty-first centurions. I'm going to assume that you all know what time-travel is (trust me, I'm the Doctor), and it's such a fusion of other genres (fantasy, science-fiction, cyberpunk, dystopian, historical-fiction) that I'm not going to bother to go into it in much detail.
However, one of the best time-traveling novels I have ever read is by my favorite author, Sheri S. Tepper, and is called Beauty. It literally contains elements of everything I just described, and is such an aching portrayal of the trade-off between magic and mystery, and science and knowledge.
PRECURSORS AND EARLY SCIENCE-FICTION
Before science-fiction was really established as a genre, there were still some books that fell under this umbrella and are now considered the pioneers to shaping the genre. They tend to be more speculative than scientific, and harbor many elements of fantasy, as well.
Nenia's Favorite Precursors:
Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
The Island of Dr. Moreau by H.G. Wells
The Time Machine by H.G. Wells
The Lost World by Arthur Conan Doyle
And while I'm not personally a fan, Flatland and anything by Jules Verne also fall under this category.
Hope you enjoyed! Live long, and prosper! ♥
25 Things Every Indie Author Should Know
1. If you are vending inferior goods, don't be surprised if you don't have any takers. You wouldn't buy moldy food or a shirt that's falling apart, right?
2. Do set your book at a reasonable price. Cheaper is probably better. People are more willing to branch out and experiment if the cost to them is low.
3. Your readers are not walking bags of money. Don't treat them as if they are. They are people with thoughts, feelings, and opinions, and their respect and interest must be won, not wrested.
4. Big egos are lethal. If you are your own worst critic, nothing anyone says will bother you and advice will be easier to stomach if you admit to yourself that you are not perfect.
5. What happens on the internet does not stay on the internet. Anything you say can and will be held against you. Don't be a jerk. Not just because you'll inevitably get caught, but also because it's just not professional.
6. Don't take your readers for granted. Having a steady following doesn't mean people won't notice when you let your writing go.
7. Don't write things you're not comfortable with, even if it's a popular trend. Nothing is more painful to read than an awkwardly written sex scene.
8. Do read over your stories. Spell-check doesn't catch all typos--in fact, sometimes it causes them--and it doesn't do anything for grammar.
9. Do feel free to engage with your readers. If you're enthusiastic and positive, other people will be, too. Readers don't have to stay readers--they can also be friends!
10. Don't attack people for negative reviews. If they were unhappy, it was probably for a reason. Pay attention to their criticism and be honest with yourself: is it warranted? If yes, read over your draft again and see if anything needs fixing. Feel free to ask for elaboration (politely), but don't be pushy. If no, ignore them. Seriously. Some books just aren't for some people.
11. Don't be derivative. No matter how clever you are, people will know when you are copying other works and writers. Dare to be different!
12. Do write flawed and realistic characters. There is a Mary Sue Litmus Test that can tell you how cliche your character is. Take advantage of it.
13. Do be an active user. Presence is great publicity. It lets people get to know you and, subsequently, your books. Plus, you'll meet a lot of interesting people, and it'll make your readers feel like their opinions are actually heard.
14. Don't get involved in internet drama. It's like trying to rollerblade on a mountain of gravel. Not just a bad idea and potentially dangerous, but also a total downhill slope.
15. Do be passionate about your writing.
16. Do participate in ARC giveaways, sales, special events, interviews, conventions, tours, and other promos. It's a great way to build hype around a book and meet new people.
17. Do trim your books. If you find yourself repeating words or overusing adverbs, remove them. Unnecessary passages and excessive descriptions can also go. Remember: if a passage is boring to you, your reader will find it doubly so.
18. Write what you love. Your work will be so much better because of it.
19. Don't preach at your readers. Unless you're writing to a very specific audience, excessive religious, political, ethnic, and/or gender-based undertones should be treated with caution. Be expecting more negative reviews just because of that.
20. Don't rely on tropes, cliches, and stereotypes, unless there's a point (i.e. hipster irony). If you find yourself resorting to stereotypes try to think about the situation in a new way.
21. Do think of your characters as actual people. Understand that their motives and thoughts might differ from yours, and that sometimes they will frustrate you, creep you out, and/or piss you off.
22. Do have a plot. Few people can do a successful character-driven story. Plus, your plot is a handy guideline to keep you and your story on track.
23. Preview your formatting, especially when converting files to different formats. Sometimes automatic settings don't transfer, and everything gets screwed up.
24. Make reading as easy and effortless as possible. Don't use tiny, hard-to-read font. Do be concise. Don't use words just because they look fancy, especially if you're not 100% sure what they mean. Don't rely on thesauruses; sometimes the words they supply are only related to, or approximations of, the words listed. Do use spacing correctly. Do vary the length of your sentences to keep the flow of the narrative. Don't have large, blocky paragraphs of text.
25. Don't be afraid to research! With the internet, fact-checking is easier than ever before. You might be surprised by what you learn.
And most importantly--be professional. If you want to write for a career, think of your readers as your bosses. Even if you don't agree with your boss, you wouldn't insult him or stalk him and his friends, right? Nope! Not if you want him to keep giving you your paycheck.
Happy writing!
xNenia
2. Do set your book at a reasonable price. Cheaper is probably better. People are more willing to branch out and experiment if the cost to them is low.
3. Your readers are not walking bags of money. Don't treat them as if they are. They are people with thoughts, feelings, and opinions, and their respect and interest must be won, not wrested.
4. Big egos are lethal. If you are your own worst critic, nothing anyone says will bother you and advice will be easier to stomach if you admit to yourself that you are not perfect.
5. What happens on the internet does not stay on the internet. Anything you say can and will be held against you. Don't be a jerk. Not just because you'll inevitably get caught, but also because it's just not professional.
6. Don't take your readers for granted. Having a steady following doesn't mean people won't notice when you let your writing go.
7. Don't write things you're not comfortable with, even if it's a popular trend. Nothing is more painful to read than an awkwardly written sex scene.
8. Do read over your stories. Spell-check doesn't catch all typos--in fact, sometimes it causes them--and it doesn't do anything for grammar.
9. Do feel free to engage with your readers. If you're enthusiastic and positive, other people will be, too. Readers don't have to stay readers--they can also be friends!
10. Don't attack people for negative reviews. If they were unhappy, it was probably for a reason. Pay attention to their criticism and be honest with yourself: is it warranted? If yes, read over your draft again and see if anything needs fixing. Feel free to ask for elaboration (politely), but don't be pushy. If no, ignore them. Seriously. Some books just aren't for some people.
11. Don't be derivative. No matter how clever you are, people will know when you are copying other works and writers. Dare to be different!
12. Do write flawed and realistic characters. There is a Mary Sue Litmus Test that can tell you how cliche your character is. Take advantage of it.
13. Do be an active user. Presence is great publicity. It lets people get to know you and, subsequently, your books. Plus, you'll meet a lot of interesting people, and it'll make your readers feel like their opinions are actually heard.
14. Don't get involved in internet drama. It's like trying to rollerblade on a mountain of gravel. Not just a bad idea and potentially dangerous, but also a total downhill slope.
15. Do be passionate about your writing.
16. Do participate in ARC giveaways, sales, special events, interviews, conventions, tours, and other promos. It's a great way to build hype around a book and meet new people.
17. Do trim your books. If you find yourself repeating words or overusing adverbs, remove them. Unnecessary passages and excessive descriptions can also go. Remember: if a passage is boring to you, your reader will find it doubly so.
18. Write what you love. Your work will be so much better because of it.
19. Don't preach at your readers. Unless you're writing to a very specific audience, excessive religious, political, ethnic, and/or gender-based undertones should be treated with caution. Be expecting more negative reviews just because of that.
20. Don't rely on tropes, cliches, and stereotypes, unless there's a point (i.e. hipster irony). If you find yourself resorting to stereotypes try to think about the situation in a new way.
21. Do think of your characters as actual people. Understand that their motives and thoughts might differ from yours, and that sometimes they will frustrate you, creep you out, and/or piss you off.
22. Do have a plot. Few people can do a successful character-driven story. Plus, your plot is a handy guideline to keep you and your story on track.
23. Preview your formatting, especially when converting files to different formats. Sometimes automatic settings don't transfer, and everything gets screwed up.
24. Make reading as easy and effortless as possible. Don't use tiny, hard-to-read font. Do be concise. Don't use words just because they look fancy, especially if you're not 100% sure what they mean. Don't rely on thesauruses; sometimes the words they supply are only related to, or approximations of, the words listed. Do use spacing correctly. Do vary the length of your sentences to keep the flow of the narrative. Don't have large, blocky paragraphs of text.
25. Don't be afraid to research! With the internet, fact-checking is easier than ever before. You might be surprised by what you learn.
And most importantly--be professional. If you want to write for a career, think of your readers as your bosses. Even if you don't agree with your boss, you wouldn't insult him or stalk him and his friends, right? Nope! Not if you want him to keep giving you your paycheck.
Happy writing!
xNenia
The Cost of Free: A Few Notes on Cheap/Free Online Publications
One of my friends recently directed me to an author rant bemoaning the devastating effect free books had on her own profit margins and claiming that they were hurting her business. Really? I'm not going to name names because gossip is not very polite. (Google is more into that sort of thing than I am.) Chronic foot-in-mouth-disease is not the topic of the day, however. No. Today, I'm going to talk about why cheap and free is actually a very good thing--particularly in the here and now, in the age of social networking.
I feel quite strongly about this because I started out on fictionpress.com, where I posted for several years. I wrote for free, because it was a free site, and really, it's a good thing I did because looking back on what I wrote as a teenager I think I would feel really guilty if people actually paid money for what I wrote. It wasn't bad, mind, but it was clearly written by a teenager.
And you know what? I didn't care I wasn't making money. Granted, I was in high school at the time so making my own livelihood wasn't an issue. But the thrill of knowing that people were actually reading my--yes, MY--books was infinitely more valuable. Even better was the fact that, because my stuff was free, people were more willing to branch out and try my atypical plots. And some of them liked it! And became fans! And gave me really good writing advice!
For free!
I ended up leaving the site because of the massive plagiarism attacks. People seem to be under the impression that if you post your work for free you must not care about it, and that it's fair game. I blame this attitude on people who tote the idea that the only good books you can find out there are the ones that cost money. I can think of about ten books offhand written by indie authors that are currently available for $3 or less (some are even free) on kindle that are 10x better than that erotica novel that shall not be named, but rhymes with thrifty even though the price of it now is anything but. And that book initially started off free, too.
Free books are good because they make more people read your books. Yes, it's nice to get money for your writing, but I think what a lot of people fail to take into account is the fact that retail-priced books are expensive, and with the economy being as crap as it is, a lot of people don't have the money to spend on them. But cheap books, and free books? You're making your stuff accessible to more people, and therefore opening the gates to more reviews and publicity. I think people underestimate the power of word-of-mouth. That's how Twilight and certain other over-hyped books became so famous. And that's also how so many writers ended up on thousands of blacklists within the last two years. Word spreads fast.
Now that I do hope to make a career out of writing, my books are no longer free (although I am more than willing to post the odd teaser for occasional promotions--wink wink). But that doesn't mean that I'm against the idea of free books, or that I'm going to charge $7.99 for an ebook that hasn't had any professional editing (seriously, who does that?), or that I'm going to be screaming mad if a group of friends pools their money to buy ONE copy of my book so they can all take turns reading it. In fact, I'm down with that idea. Yay for people reading my books! The more the merrier--especially if they all write reviews, or come find me on GR, or tell their friends about my books.
People love free stuff. That's not going to change. Ever. It makes us super happy, and that means people are going to be in a better frame of mind to read your book. I'm certainly more judgmental about books I've paid good money for than books I've gotten for a buck, or for free. That's why I enabled lending for the kindle editions of my books, and signed up for the package where plus users can check out my book for free as part of their one-free-book/month perk. No, you can't get rich off free, but you can get famous off free.
Plus, starting out free really makes you take into consideration what makes a writer worthy of spent money. A lot of my old fans purchased my books, and in anticipation of this I spent a lot of time revising and making my books new, because I didn't want readers to feel like they were paying money to read the exact same story they already read for free. I added new scenes, tweaked character development, made back stories more complicated, and really upped the amp in terms of quality. My books are still a long ways from perfect, but I think they are worth the $2-3 dollars I've set them as. More importantly, my readers seem to think so, too.
I finally feel like I'm on my way to fulfilling my dream of being a published writer--and it's all thanks to free.
I feel quite strongly about this because I started out on fictionpress.com, where I posted for several years. I wrote for free, because it was a free site, and really, it's a good thing I did because looking back on what I wrote as a teenager I think I would feel really guilty if people actually paid money for what I wrote. It wasn't bad, mind, but it was clearly written by a teenager.
And you know what? I didn't care I wasn't making money. Granted, I was in high school at the time so making my own livelihood wasn't an issue. But the thrill of knowing that people were actually reading my--yes, MY--books was infinitely more valuable. Even better was the fact that, because my stuff was free, people were more willing to branch out and try my atypical plots. And some of them liked it! And became fans! And gave me really good writing advice!
For free!
I ended up leaving the site because of the massive plagiarism attacks. People seem to be under the impression that if you post your work for free you must not care about it, and that it's fair game. I blame this attitude on people who tote the idea that the only good books you can find out there are the ones that cost money. I can think of about ten books offhand written by indie authors that are currently available for $3 or less (some are even free) on kindle that are 10x better than that erotica novel that shall not be named, but rhymes with thrifty even though the price of it now is anything but. And that book initially started off free, too.
Free books are good because they make more people read your books. Yes, it's nice to get money for your writing, but I think what a lot of people fail to take into account is the fact that retail-priced books are expensive, and with the economy being as crap as it is, a lot of people don't have the money to spend on them. But cheap books, and free books? You're making your stuff accessible to more people, and therefore opening the gates to more reviews and publicity. I think people underestimate the power of word-of-mouth. That's how Twilight and certain other over-hyped books became so famous. And that's also how so many writers ended up on thousands of blacklists within the last two years. Word spreads fast.
Now that I do hope to make a career out of writing, my books are no longer free (although I am more than willing to post the odd teaser for occasional promotions--wink wink). But that doesn't mean that I'm against the idea of free books, or that I'm going to charge $7.99 for an ebook that hasn't had any professional editing (seriously, who does that?), or that I'm going to be screaming mad if a group of friends pools their money to buy ONE copy of my book so they can all take turns reading it. In fact, I'm down with that idea. Yay for people reading my books! The more the merrier--especially if they all write reviews, or come find me on GR, or tell their friends about my books.
People love free stuff. That's not going to change. Ever. It makes us super happy, and that means people are going to be in a better frame of mind to read your book. I'm certainly more judgmental about books I've paid good money for than books I've gotten for a buck, or for free. That's why I enabled lending for the kindle editions of my books, and signed up for the package where plus users can check out my book for free as part of their one-free-book/month perk. No, you can't get rich off free, but you can get famous off free.
Plus, starting out free really makes you take into consideration what makes a writer worthy of spent money. A lot of my old fans purchased my books, and in anticipation of this I spent a lot of time revising and making my books new, because I didn't want readers to feel like they were paying money to read the exact same story they already read for free. I added new scenes, tweaked character development, made back stories more complicated, and really upped the amp in terms of quality. My books are still a long ways from perfect, but I think they are worth the $2-3 dollars I've set them as. More importantly, my readers seem to think so, too.
I finally feel like I'm on my way to fulfilling my dream of being a published writer--and it's all thanks to free.
Nenia Campbell and the Spooky Snowflake Smackdown
SS: Hi! I'm Spooky! Spooky Snowflake! I'm not like other supernatural girls.
NC: OH GOD NO.
SS: Hi there! Have we met?
NC: Only in every. Single. Young. Adult. Paranormal. Romance. EVER.
SS: Ha ha, you're funny. I'm very unique, you know.
NC: That's redundant. You shouldn't have to clarify something that's already a superlative, you know.
SS: Now, Nenia. I know you want to be super anorexically skinny just like me, but you really shouldn't take superlatives to make that happen.
NC: Laxatives?
SS: No thank you. I already ate. I didn't ask to be born this way, Nenia. You don't have to be so mean to me! It's not easy being perfect! Do you know how HARD it is to be this awesome all the time? Sometimes, I just want to let loose, you know? Put on my size two fat-pants and eat a WHOLE stick of gum. You know. Just pig out.
NC: High school girls everywhere weep for you.
SS: God, I know right! My life totally sucks. I'm going to live forever, my boyfriend's a total hottie immortal who buys me whatever I want when he's not threatening to kill me or stringing me along, and I'm not flirting with the safety love-interest, and I fit into pretty much any main designer brand out there, but I still don't know what I'm going to wear to prom. Ugh.
NC: Wow.
SS: Yeah. Bee-tee-dubs, I sure wish people would stop telling me I should model. It gets sooooo annoying.
NC: I'm sure. You really are a well-rounded character.
SS: *nodding* Yes, I sure am!
NC: Do you have any flaws?
SS: Hmmm. For starters, I'm super ditzy! And I'm, like, totally prepz when everyone knows vampires/witches/angels are supposed to be gothic.
NC: *frantically pulling at door knob*
SS: Also, I fall down a lot! LOL. Yeah! That's my character flaw. Falling down.
NC: That is not a character flaw. *tug tug* It is a result *tug* of too many *tug* childhood inner-ear infections--WHY WON'T THIS DOOR OPEN?
SS: No, silly! It's a character flaw.
NC: It is no such thing.
SS: Um, yeah, it totally is. You know. Because supernatural beings are supposed to be graceful. I'm defying the stereotype, while simultaneously making it easier for you to relate to me even though I'm obviously so much better than you.
NC: For an immortal being, you're kind of a moron.
SS: I'm sorry but I got an A in high school English. That means I'm a genius.
NC: You're the reincarnation of a goddess. You should be finding out the secret of life, not letching on high school tail in fifth-period.
SS: Oh, thanks! That reminds me. I have a date tonight.
NC: Holy shit! A sexy man who looks super sketchy and abusive is standing right over there glowering ominously at you.
SS: What?! He is? *drops phone* Where? Oh my God. Is my hair okay? Do these 00 jeans make my butt look fat? I could really use some superlatives right now!
NC: *attacks*
SS: Nooooooo! Oh well. At least I'll die prettyyyy.
*turns into a pile of pink glittery ashes*
NC: I just vacuumed that rug...
/Every bad PNR YA novel ever
NC: OH GOD NO.
SS: Hi there! Have we met?
NC: Only in every. Single. Young. Adult. Paranormal. Romance. EVER.
SS: Ha ha, you're funny. I'm very unique, you know.
NC: That's redundant. You shouldn't have to clarify something that's already a superlative, you know.
SS: Now, Nenia. I know you want to be super anorexically skinny just like me, but you really shouldn't take superlatives to make that happen.
NC: Laxatives?
SS: No thank you. I already ate. I didn't ask to be born this way, Nenia. You don't have to be so mean to me! It's not easy being perfect! Do you know how HARD it is to be this awesome all the time? Sometimes, I just want to let loose, you know? Put on my size two fat-pants and eat a WHOLE stick of gum. You know. Just pig out.
NC: High school girls everywhere weep for you.
SS: God, I know right! My life totally sucks. I'm going to live forever, my boyfriend's a total hottie immortal who buys me whatever I want when he's not threatening to kill me or stringing me along, and I'm not flirting with the safety love-interest, and I fit into pretty much any main designer brand out there, but I still don't know what I'm going to wear to prom. Ugh.
NC: Wow.
SS: Yeah. Bee-tee-dubs, I sure wish people would stop telling me I should model. It gets sooooo annoying.
NC: I'm sure. You really are a well-rounded character.
SS: *nodding* Yes, I sure am!
NC: Do you have any flaws?
SS: Hmmm. For starters, I'm super ditzy! And I'm, like, totally prepz when everyone knows vampires/witches/angels are supposed to be gothic.
NC: *frantically pulling at door knob*
SS: Also, I fall down a lot! LOL. Yeah! That's my character flaw. Falling down.
NC: That is not a character flaw. *tug tug* It is a result *tug* of too many *tug* childhood inner-ear infections--WHY WON'T THIS DOOR OPEN?
SS: No, silly! It's a character flaw.
NC: It is no such thing.
SS: Um, yeah, it totally is. You know. Because supernatural beings are supposed to be graceful. I'm defying the stereotype, while simultaneously making it easier for you to relate to me even though I'm obviously so much better than you.
NC: For an immortal being, you're kind of a moron.
SS: I'm sorry but I got an A in high school English. That means I'm a genius.
NC: You're the reincarnation of a goddess. You should be finding out the secret of life, not letching on high school tail in fifth-period.
SS: Oh, thanks! That reminds me. I have a date tonight.
NC: Holy shit! A sexy man who looks super sketchy and abusive is standing right over there glowering ominously at you.
SS: What?! He is? *drops phone* Where? Oh my God. Is my hair okay? Do these 00 jeans make my butt look fat? I could really use some superlatives right now!
NC: *attacks*
SS: Nooooooo! Oh well. At least I'll die prettyyyy.
*turns into a pile of pink glittery ashes*
NC: I just vacuumed that rug...
/Every bad PNR YA novel ever
