Emerald's Blog, page 8

Recommended Reading #206: Humanity and Inspiration, Pt. XII

      “Wil Wheatons response to a little girl on how to deal with being called a nerd” by CGPhotogcom (Non-Sex-Related, Sociology, Psychology, Consciousness/Spirituality) 6/7/13

Though I would use a different word from “pity,” I profoundly appreciate this offering from Wil Wheaton, especially in the context of its being offered to an adolescent in response to a direct question expressing pain.

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      “The Human Walking Program” by Jake Barrow (Non-Sex-Related, Animals, Psychology) 5/2014

What a beautiful, astute, brilliant idea.

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      “What a Shaman Sees in A Mental Hospital” by Stephanie Marohn (Non-Sex-Related, Psychology, Sociology, Consciousness/Spirituality) 6/12/14

I suspect/imagine that a lot of Western culture readers could feel lost by this piece within a few paragraphs. I still recommend it due to the chance it may resonate and/or expand the perspectives of some. Reading it took my breath away, and I felt deep resonance throughout reading it. I so appreciate its being shared and Dr Somé’s work.

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Recommended Reading posted every Wednesday

Recommended Reading #205: Digging Deeper, Pt. X

      “Why It’s So Hard for Men to See Misogyny” by Amanda Hess (Gender Socialization, Sociology, Psychology) 5/27/14

I didn’t find this fun to read, but it does express information it seems to me relevant for people to be aware of.

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      “What’s Desperately Needed in Sex Education Today” by Jaclyn Friedman (Sexuality Education, Youth, Sex and Culture, Gender Socialization, Sociology) 5/28/14

I appreciate this piece very much, both in its calm and aware tone and also in its recognition of the significance of the underlying and pernicious messages our culture perpetuates about sex and gender.

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      “Media Fear Tactics” at Gavin de Becker & Associates (Non-Sex-Related, Sociology, (U.S.-centric) News Reporting, Humor) Undated

I simply love this. While I have tended to avoid mainstream news coverage for several years, I have observed some headlines and/or coverage in passing or in an environment when I’m not controlling its broadcasting (e.g., at the airport when CNN is blaring), and I have found what I perceive as both the alarmist nature of it and the content that this culture considers “news” potentially toxic energetically and psychologically. This piece highlights a number of reasons why and does so in a way I actually found humorous at times!

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Recommended Reading posted every Wednesday

Recommended Reading #204: Gender Socialization, Pt. V

      “Desegregating Our Bookshelves Is A Good Start. Now What?” by Soraya Chemaly (Youth, Gender Socialization, Art, Sociology) 3/18/14

I find this piece excellent. It expresses a number of things I have frequently and historically perceived, and as has often seemed the case, I am delighted to see them expressed to such a wide audience. :)

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      “Husbands shouldn’t need an excuse – or science – to do the damn dishes” by Jessica Valenti (Relationship, Sociology, Parenting) 5/29/14

Jessica makes (what I see as) such obvious points here, and yet the very fact that they don’t always culturally seem so truly makes me sigh.

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      “Yes, All Men” by Charles M. Blow (Sociology, Psychology, Sex and Culture) 6/1/14

Beautiful.

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Recommended Reading posted every Wednesday

Recommended Reading #203: Listening to Sex Workers, Pt. III

      “Antiporn Land” by Rachel Hills (Pornography, Sex Work, Sex and Culture, Gender Socialization) 5/27/14

I found this a thoughtful, considered, and indeed interesting piece. In what I interpret in the author’s discussions with Ms. Dines, I feel disturbed by lack of mention of men, which is one of the things I’ve consistently found sexist and disturbing in anti-pornography arguments. As though men, of course, can take care of themselves, and sex, after all, is the realm of men. Women, on the other hand, must be protected, and if they are having sex, it must automatically be in reaction or relation to men, since they wouldn’t have sex on their own or possess the autonomy to discern how, when, and with whom they want to. Thus, I have still found myself almost grating my teeth when I see arguments about “what the women feel/think/do” or “what choices the women have” in porn. To me, it reflects the aforementioned bias and attitude, which I find without merit and indeed rather infurating. That, of course, is a reflection on my interpretation of Ms. Dines’s expression of her perspective more than on this article itself. I did perceive other parts of Ms. Dines’s perspective in a more expanded way after reading this, and I appreciate that. I also appreciate the author’s contention that there is room to evaluate the porn industry in a more nuanced way, as we often have other forms of media. I myself do not find porn inherently degrading as a medium by a long shot—quite the contrary, really, and I have detailed on this blog why I find that postulation problematic. I had not, however, considered examining the current porn industry as a business, much like, for example, Hollywood, and its cultural effects. Or perhaps a more accurate way of putting that is that it had not occurred to me to separate the discussion of pornography as a medium in and of itself from a discussion of the pornography industry and how it operates in a capitalistic environment (again, much like, to use another example, the news industry, which I’ve felt no discord about pretty harshly condemning, even as I don’t necessarily find a system of reporting news [though, to digress for moment, I sure wish we’d reevaluate what we consider "news"] inherently problematic). I very much appreciate having read this piece.

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      “The Price of a Sex-Slave Rescue Fantasy” by Melissa Gira Grant (Sex Work, Human Trafficking, Journalism) 5/29/14

This strikes me as a tragic situation, and I find this piece informative and disturbing. It seems important to me that well-intentioned individuals recognize the implications some may not recognize or be aware of in certain ways of combating human trafficking in the sex trade. (I also appreciate the mention of the considerable numbers around human trafficking in other labor areas, which sometimes seems forgotten in a strident focus on sexual labor. Though this goes without saying, I find all human trafficking and even the idea that it exists horrific beyond articulation.) As long as trafficking in the sex trade is tied up with cultural assumptions and prejudices around sex work, the risk of such motivations getting in the way of the true focus of horrendous exploitation and disregard of human rights, regardless of the area of labor, seems a risk to me.

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      “What does a ‘representative’ sex worker look like?” by Celine Bisette (Sex Work, Sex and Culture, Sociology) 5/13/14

Certainly I agree with the author’s point that it should not surprise anyone when a sex worker seems articulate—there is no irony intended when I say that I did find this piece exceptionally articulate (regardless of the profession of the author).

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Recommended Reading posted every Wednesday

Recommended Reading #202: Politics, Pt. VI

      “Male politicians and their paternalistic abortion laws deserve a fight like this” by Jessica Valenti (Reproductive Freedom, Health and Body, Politics, U.S. Public Policy) 5/14/14

Beautifully written, and of course I’m appreciative to learn of and support the endeavor of the activists participating in the “women’s filibuster.”

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      “Why the European Parliament Shouldn’t Criminalize Buying Sex” by Maddy French (Sex Work, European Public Policy) 2/25/14

While this is technically outdated, substantively, I found it an informative overview of the European Union’s debate earlier this year regarding a report recommending the criminalization of sex work clients. (Update: The vote did not go the way that would have supported sex workers, and a subsequent statement from the ICRSE is here.)

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      “Poverty Is Not a State of Mind” by Charles Blow (U.S. Public Policy, Sociology, Economics) 5/18/14

This is the kind of piece I found so awesome I felt my adrenaline increasing as I read it. Yes, yes, and YES…and thank you, Mr. Blow, far articulating it.

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Recommended Reading posted every Wednesday

Recommended Reading #201: Shifting Perspectives, Pt. IV

      “The Myth of Happiness—and How to Be Truly Happy” by Jennifer Kass (Non-Sex-Related, Consciousness, Psychology) 3/20/14

From some perspectives, this may sound far-fetched or unrealistic. It has been, however, my experience…though I haven’t mastered the steps this article offers, I have seen glimpses of what the author is referencing, and what she offers resonates with me profoundly.

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      “Ten Responses to the Phrase ‘Man Up’” by Guante (Recommended Watch, Gender, Gender Socialization, Sociology) 11/21/13

What can I say? Gorgeous and brilliant.

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      “I can’t get there tomorrow, but I can come on Thursday” by Senator Elizabeth Warren (U.S. Public Policy, Politics, Reproductive Rights, Sociology, Gender) 5/11/14

I found this deeply moving and beautiful. While I used to be rather active in United States politics, I don’t see it the same way now as I did then (the “positions,” so to speak, haven’t changed; it’s more of a shift in the way I view the efficacy of current political processes) and have largely felt that the foundation of our current political system almost certainly will not manifest the kind of shifts we need to thrive. However, I appreciate the perspectives and the expression of their shaping I perceive in this comment and also appreciate Ms. Warren’s endeavors and presence thus far in the Senate. And I find this, politics aside, a beautiful read.

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Recommended Reading posted every Wednesday

Recommended Reading #200: Pioneering, Past and Present, Pt. II

      “Teen to government: Change your typeface, save millions” by Madeleine Stix (Non-Sex-Related, Youth, Economics) 3/29/14

This struck me as quite fascinating. I love that a young teenager realized it and devised and executed a method to test it. I also love that he has received recognition for it (not least of which is having it reported on CNN.com!). I was also struck by his mention that changing behavior is difficult, which seems to me notably astute for a 14-year-old.

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      “A Diversity Welcome” by Justyn Hintze (Sex Education, Sociology, Sexual Identity/Orientation) 4/23/14

What a great idea. I appreciate what an inspiring example Justyn sets, as well as how generously she shares the step-by-step process of how she went about offering her Diversity Welcome.

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      “Children read stories to cats and dogs” by Becky Barnes (Non-Sex-Related, Animals, Humanity and Inspiration) 3/6/14

I’m totally delighted by this, and it makes so much sense to me! Iowa is my home state, which I also appreciate. :)

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Recommended Reading posted every Wednesday

Recommended Reading #199: Self-Awareness, Pt. IV

      “Arianna Huffington’s Guide to ‘Sleeping Your Way to the Top’” by Victoria Dawson Hoff (Health and Body, Consciousness, Sociology) 3/25/14

I know relatively little about Arianna Huffington, save that I was working for someone she invited to be one of the original contributors to the Huffington Post when she first started it (he declined, for reasons that made sense to me and had nothing to do with Huffington herself), so this is simply an endorsement of what I experience the author of this and Ms. Huffington’s saying in this piece. I do feel the emphasis on internal awareness is not only of vast importance but also profoundly influences our outer perception and experience.

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      “How To: Processing Painful Emotions and Making Peace With The Past” by Dr. Gayle Friend (Non-Sex-Related, Consciousness/Spirituality, Psychology) 4/7/14

Lovely practical suggestions that resonate with some of my personal experience in this area.

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      “‘We Have Always Fought’: Challenging the ‘Women, Cattle and Slaves’ Narrative” by Kameron Hurley (Military History, Gender Socialization, Writing) 5/20/13

Well, this was one of the most awesome things I’d read in a while. (The tiniest caveat for me is in mentioning that calling women “bitches and cunts and whores” makes it easier to not see them as people—it’s not that I don’t see that strategy as having existed but rather that, since I don’t consider “whore” an insult, I looked warily upon the word in context and hoped the author and any readers would realize that if a woman does work as a whore, she is still a person too.) I truly find it brilliant and appeal to you to read it.

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Recommended Reading posted every Wednesday

MFRW Facebook Party May 1!

And yes, it is only coincidence that it happens to be on my birthday. :)

I’m excited to be participating in the first Marketing for Romance Writers (MFRW) Facebook party on my birthday, May 1! All the details have been provided below by the party’s brainchild and host (and MFRW’s blog director), Paloma Beck, who also supplied us with the beautiful graphic you see in my sidebar and enlarged just below. I myself will be playing party host quite early in the day—from 1:00 to 2:00 in the morning, to be exact—and the party will be going on throughout the day, with appearances and contributions from a multitude of (mostly romance, some erotic romance) authors. Hope to see you there!!

It’s Time to Party!

hosted by Marketing for Romance Writers (#MFRWorg)



Join over a dozen other authors as we share excerpts from our contemporary romances. Get ideas for some new books to enjoy this spring. With all heat levels represented, there’s something for everyone. Join in on the hourly contests and win prizes. This is a party you do not want to miss, and it’s going on all day on May 1st.

Confirmed Participating Authors INCLUDE:

Victoria Barbour – Vicki Batman – Paloma Beck – Gemma Brocato – Candy Caine – Lisa Carlisle – Carly Carson – Margie Church – Karen Cino – Wendy Lynn Clark – Margo Bond Collins – Kandie Delley – Emerald – Candace Gold – Lily Harlem – Susan Jaymes – Mona Karel – Patricia Kiyono – Adriana Kraft – Jan Meredith – Siobhan Muir – Martha O’Sullivan – Skylin O’Thomas - Victoria Pinder – Irene Preston – Jana Richards – Christi Williams – Sabrina York

CLICK HERE to Attend!

Recommended Reading #198: Responding to Discord, Pt. IV

      “This Is Not A Pity Party” by Dr. Eric Anthony Grollman (Non-Sex-Related, Sociology, Academia, Gender and Racial Disparities) 10/25/13

Though I possess both an undergraduate and a graduate degree, I don’t feel I know a lot about the overall environment of professional academia. I perceive this as a straightforward elucidation of things in a field I’ve tended to rarely consider, and I find it interesting and can appreciate the presentation of a viewpoint one experiences as marginalized in one’s professional field, especially one with as much public exposure as academia.

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      “The Spectrum: On being Palestinian in a pro-Israel institution” by Serene Darwish (Non-Sex-Related, Politics, International Policy, Academia, Sociology) 4/18/14

I want to acknowledge up front that context, history, and circumstances in Israeli/Palestinian interactions are not something about which I feel particularly informed. I appreciated reading this piece because it offers insight into an individual’s experience in a way I found interesting, cogent, and articulate. Recommending this is not meant to indicate a position on an issue about which, again, I don’t feel informed enough to strongly hold a position currently. It is, rather, a read I recommend simply for the reasons I just listed for appreciating it.

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      “The Minimum Wage Worker Strikes Back” by Sarah Kendzior (Non-Sex-Related, Economics, Sociology, U.S. Public Policy) 4/14/14

This is a fairly long read. But I see it as an important one and recommend it for those who feel they have the time. To me, as a policy and a paradigm under which we operate, not having a living wage as a simple fundamental baseline if we are going to support a capitalistic societal structure is inexcusable. Far beyond discussions about economic implications and strategies under the current mode operandi, the perspective in me is that we need a paradigm shift. Almost by definition, that is not the kind of thing we can foresee or form in the same state of consciousness with which we formed the current paradigm, so I continue to wish us all the best in awakening so more life-affirming systems organically emerge and thrive.

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Recommended Reading posted every Wednesday