Emerald's Blog, page 11
January 22, 2014
Recommended Reading #185: Memoir, Pt. VI
“I’m Fat, Forty And Single And I’m Having No Problems Getting Laid All The Time” by Christine Whelan (Sex and Culture, Body Image, Relationship) 1/9/14
I find this simply delightful and love almost about everything about it: That she is able to discern and own what she wants. That she gives negligible energy (about how much is deserved) to cultural beauty/body-shape standards. That she does not begrudge others for having personal tastes, just as she has hers. That she is attentive to and consistently practices safe sex. That she demonstrates no shame, embarrassment, or concern about the sexual double standards, judgements, or oppressive and repressive overtones that permeate our culture. And that she wrote it down to share with the online reading public. Love, love, love.
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“Save your Relationships: Ask the Right Questions” by Glennon Melton (Relationship, Communication, Self-Awareness) 1/16/14
This, I will admit, had not seemed to really occur to me—at least not consciously. I’m glad to read it, as it resonates with me and makes much sense.
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“Dear Mollena…” by Mollena (Self-Awareness, BDSM, Relationship) 12/12/13
I not only find this beautiful but feel struck by what a beautiful exercise it seems to write oneself a letter like this.
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Recommended Reading posted every Wednesday
January 21, 2014
MFRW Newsletter Wins in the P&E Poll!
There’s a new graphic in the left sidebar (under “Memberships & Recognition”). It looks like this:
I’m so pleased that the Marketing for Romance Writers (MFRW) monthly newsletter was voted “Best Writers’ Resource/Information/News Source” in the 2013 Preditors & Editors Poll! As an assistant newsletter editor, I help proofread the newsletter each month before it’s put out. Rochelle Weber is the editor and does most of the work, of course, but I’m delighted to be part of the team that was recognized in such a fabulous way. :) Congratulations to Rochelle and MFRW overall!
Love,
Emerald
“‘Cause everybody wants some love, shooting from the stars above…I could never get enough…”
-Weezer “Photograph”
January 18, 2014
Inaugural Monthly Quote at the MFRW Marketing Blog!
I love quotes. There are so many I’ve found striking or by which I’ve felt nearly overwhelmed, and I’ve long kept a list of them. When the new MFRW Blog Director, Paloma Beck, asked the Marketing for Romance Writers staff if anyone wanted to be in charge of posting a monthly quote to the revamped marketing blog, I jumped at the chance. So, in addition to my monthly posts about moderating a Facebook group there on the 5th of each month, I’ll be posting a quote on the 18th.
Which, of course, is today—the first one may be found here. :) Don’t forget to check the marketing blog regularly for loads of helpful guidance on all manner of marketing subjects!
Love,
Emerald
“In the end it’s better to say too much than to never to say what you need to say…do it with a heart wide open, say what you need to say…”
-John Mayer “Say”
January 15, 2014
Recommended Reading #184: Perspective and Judgement, Pt. III
“Explaining White Privilege to a Broke White Person” by Gina Crosley-Corcoran (Non-Sex-Related, Sociology, Race, Class, Gender) 11/20/13
I really appreciate the measured, nuanced, thorough way I interpret the author as presenting this perspective on a topic I find important.
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“Monosexism: Battling the Biases of Biphobia” by Erin Tatum (Sexual Orientation, Gender, Relationship) 11/27/13
It simultaneously amazes me and doesn’t surprise me (yes, that’s possible ;)) that we collectively seem to feel so strongly about labeling our and others’ sexual predilections or identities. I suppose to some degree mostly unconscious pulls of definitions of monogamy and gender identity influence this, but the importance of such is truly lost on me. I seem to be in a minority there. I appreciate that this piece counters some seemingly common stereotypes that seem to me rooted in astonishing ignorance; I feel sadness that they exist and that such a piece would seem relevant, but as long as they seem to and it does, I’m glad to see it being expressed.
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“5 Countries That Do It Better: How Sexual Prudery Makes America a Less Healthy and Happy Place” by Alex Henderson (Sex and Culture, Politics, Public Policy) 4/12/12
While I find most of what is contained here rather obvious, it seems some people don’t. To me, the connections between sexual repression (personal and collective) and unconscious and distorted perspectives and behaviors (particularly around sexuality) could not seem clearer, but I appreciate pieces like this for those who do not share that perspective with me.
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Recommended Reading posted every Wednesday
January 8, 2014
Recommended Reading #183: Humanity and Inspiration, Pt. XI
“Farewell, Madiba. The giant is sleeping.” by Janet Sked ( Non-Sex-Related, History, Memoir, Politics ) 12/7/13
This struck me as a poignant, gripping account, part personal and part historic. The sense I get of the observation of one who is wise and aligned enough to eschew revenge or aggression feels deeply moving and grounding to me.
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“10 Life Lessons You Should Unlearn ” by Martha Beck (Non-Sex-Related, Self-Awarness, Psychology, Consciousness/Spirituality) 10/14/13
There’s a lot I find of deep value here. To me, number eight seems to deviate a bit from the depth and alignment I perceive in the rest of it, but I like the remaining numbers enough to still recommend it.
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“2012: End of the World or Consciousness Revolution?” by Stanislav Grof (Non-Sex-Related, Consciousness/Spirituality, Philosophy, Society) 5/7/12
All I feel I know to say about this is that it speaks to me. I have seen perspectives aligned with this presented before and have sensed one in myself as well. This is very resonant with me, and while it may not seem to make sense to some, I like the idea of its being spread to wide human audiences.
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Recommended Reading posted every Wednesday
January 6, 2014
MFRW Staff Posts Have Begun
Under the helm of its new Blog Director, Paloma Beck (formerly the Pinterest Coordinator), Marketing for Romance Writers is starting a new series of staff-authored posts on its marketing blog. (Also check out the newly-redesigned MFRW Author Blog!) Yesterday my first contribution on moderating the Facebook group went live.
On the 5th of each month, I’ll be posting about the process of Facebook group moderation and/or stats for the MFRW Facebook group. While right now I’m speaking specifically about MFRW’s process, most of what I’m detailing may be extrapolated for anyone wishing to learn more about what’s involved in moderating a Facebook group. I will also be posting on the 18th of each month with an inspirational quote. Since I have historically felt affected by multitudes of quotes, both writing-related and not, I feel rather excited to have this outlet for sharing them. ;)
Meanwhile, my fellow MFRW staff members are also composing monthly posts on different aspects of marketing. The wealth of experience and information these colleagues have to offer is considerable, so if this is an area that interests you, I recommend you visit the MFRW marketing blog regularly! :)
Love,
Emerald
“Tell me baby, what’s your story…the thing we need is never all that hard to find…”
-Red Hot Chili Peppers “Tell Me Baby”
January 1, 2014
Recommended Reading #182: Gender Socialization, Pt. IV
“The Emergence & Danger of the ‘Acceptable Trans* Narrative’” by Drew Cordes (Gender, Self-Identity, Sex and Culture, Politics, Sociology) 3/31/13
I love and appreciate what I interpret this as saying with one notable exception. I do want to acknowledge this exception, which is the mention of Gandhi and interpretation of his quote, because I feel strongly about it. I interpret his quote quite differently. For one thing, “being” does not mean simply sitting around doing nothing else (and I certainly perceive Gandhi as having exemplified the change he desired in the world), and for another, I truly do see what I interpret Gandhi as saying there as absolutely not only the most valuable but really the essential way shift occurs. It only happens when each of us experiences internal shift. This is a far deeper conversation and/or explanation (about what I interpret “be” to actually mean and its implications, for one thing), but it did/does not feel okay to me to recommend this piece without including that qualification. Other than that small paragraph with which I feel significant dissonance, I love this piece and appreciate deeply what it says about gender and perception and trans* experience. It strikes me as something it would be very helpful for us all to comprehend.
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“Male Sexuality is Threatening Because We Don’t Understand It” by Andrew Smiler (Sex and Culture, Sociology) 7/3/13
For the most part, I appreciate this piece quite a bit. My one caveat pertains to number two—I am all for dismantling stereotypes (especially when I see them as a direct result of an arbitrary socialization process), but I don’t quite see the purpose of or evidence for saying that the “vast majority” of men are “not particularly interested in one-night stands” and “have one partner at a time.” Again, unpacking and eschewing a stereotype seems to me an awesome idea, but it’s actually for that reason that assuming almost anything about the “vast majority” of men’s preferences seems dubious and not actually helpful to me. I see the point as being that each man (and indeed each person regardless of gender) is an individual and is thus appropriately regarded and interacted with as such.
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“Women on front lines? Of course” by Vernice Armour (Non-Sex-Related, Military, Politics) 1/30/13
Nicely said. I’m both amazed and disgusted that this is even still (or ever was, to be technical) an issue.
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December 24, 2013
Recommended Reading #181: Youth, Pt. VI
“Lion staffer attends Barnard sex talk, feels awkward about it” by Stephen Snowder (Sex Education, Sex and Culture, Psychology, Self-Awareness) Undated
I just adore this. I found it delightfully amusing in parts (literally laughed out loud) and so appreciate what I perceive as the maturity of the author in being able to be with his discomfort and see beyond it as well to a more expansive truth about the use and purpose of Megan’s talk. Beautiful.
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“No, It’s Not OK to ‘Steal Kisses’ — Here’s Why” by Soraya Chemaly (Sex and Culture, Parenting, Consent) 12/16/13
Indeed.
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“The Bully Too Close to Home” by Rachel Macy Stafford (Non-Sex-Related, Parenting, Self-Awareness, Relationship) 12/10/13
This made me cry a lot, and I feel it holds an extremely powerful message, certainly for parents, but also for anyone/everyone.
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December 17, 2013
Recommended Reading #180: Writing, Pt. VI
“Confessions of Lana Fox, Part 1″ by Angela at Go Deeper Press (Sex and Culture, Self-Awareness, Erotica) 3/19/13
This struck me as a lovely interview on writing, sex, activism and publishing with my much-loved colleague Lana Fox.
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“Eight Ways to Love Your Work” by Sue Williams (Non-Sex-Related, Inspiration) 11/15/13
I found this a charming, simple list of things I’d like to remember and/or enact more often.
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“Slaves of the Internet, Unite!” by Tim Kreider (Non-Sex-Related, Labor, Economics) 10/26/13
So nicely put.
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Wishing and Acknowledgement
Today is the International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers. I acknowledge I have not yet planned or composed a blog post for the day—but I don’t feel I ever want the day (or International Sex Worker Rights Day on March 3) to go by unacknowledged on my blog, even if it is just a placeholder post to announce that that is indeed what day it is.
At the least, I traditionally light my red candle today. I just searched for it and don’t seem to know where I put it after last year’s lighting. So I just called Rick Write to ask him to pick me up a new one on his way home, and I will light it as soon as he gets here. Though it won’t be lit very long today, as we have plans away from home for most of the evening, it is done with full reverence for all sex workers who have experienced violence in the context of their work. The flame itself may be relatively brief, but the ongoing fire of love and support for my fellow former and current sex workers is always in me.
And, of course, I hold in love all who have ever experienced or perpetrated violence and hold a deepest wish for our awakening out of the unconscious constraints and limitations that drive it.
Love to all, everywhere, always,
Emerald
P.S. As I finish and post this, my red candle has arrived and is now lit.
“What will I tell my daughter, what will you tell your son…that we were nothing but a shadow, a faceless generation void of love?…”
-LIVE “What Are We Fighting For?”
