Emerald's Blog, page 7
September 3, 2014
Recommended Reading #213: Sex as Labor, Pt. V
“Let’s Hear from the Clients on the Rights of Sex Workers” by sxcline (Sex Work, Sex and Culture, Sociology) 8/10/14
Well put.
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“Labor Intensive: In Defense of Sex Work” by A Dozen Pissed Off Sex Workers (Sex Work, Sex and Culture, Sociology) 8/23/14
I appreciate the pragmatic tone of this (even as I feel ideologically strongly in favor of an appreciation of sex work and of sex worker rights), and it seems to me its straightforward approach as such could reach readers who haven’t particularly considered the issue(s) in question.
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“Still Harmful to Minors” by Dr. Elizabeth Wood (Youth, Public Policy, Sex and Culture) 7/25/14
Not only do I find this brilliant, but it also articulates a specific and powerful point I had not ever consciously articulated myself. As the author puts it, “If we tell that 15-year-old that we can only help her by housing her against her will in a locked and guarded detention facility, or if we tell her that we can only offer her shelter if she will promise never to have sex or use drugs or skip school, or if we tell her that we are going to send her back to the parents who kicked her out in the first place, or the foster parents she ran away from, or the country that she fled, then we are telling her we care more about her behavior than her safety” (emphasis mine). What an important and, again, powerful, recognition.
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Recommended Reading posted every Wednesday
August 17, 2014
For the Love of Sommer/Summer
This post is part of Alison’s Summer Loving blog tour. For links to the other posts and to follow along, please visit her blog here!
I’ve been a reader of Alison Tyler’s blog for—jeez, about nine years now. I actually started following it about the time she started writing it (specifically, I came along right around the time she was starting to document the memoir stories that developed into her Dark Secret Love/The Delicious Torment/Wrapped Around Your Finger trilogy).
At that time, in addition to generously sharing much of her compelling writing on her blog, Alison frequently interacted with her readers, composing posts that asked for photos, answers to questions, or even flash stories for contests—or, for a while, her specially-devoted blog she called H is for Harlot. (She still does all of this.) On one such occasion, she invited readers to write a 500-1,000-word story that included the word or theme of “violet.” (Coincidence?) More on that in a bit.
I virtually “met” Sommer Marsden a couple years later via the extensive online erotica community to which Alison’s blog introduced me. In 2009, Sommer spontaneously organized and hosted the Blow Hard Tour, in which I was honored to take part, and during those halcyon days of frequent blogging and correlative commenting and interaction, I visited her blog regularly as well. I also found myself alongside her in several tables of contents and read a number of her stories.
I soon discerned that Sommer referred to her family members on her blog as “the man,” “girl child,” and “boy child,” which I found charming. During those blogging days, many of us tended to share fairly personal/autobiographical goings-on in our lives, both writing- and non-writing-related. With Sommer’s, in particular, references to her family often seemed prominent.
That made it all the more poignant when I heard last year that “the man” had been diagnosed with cancer.
From the impression I’d received reading Sommer’s blog posts, there was never any question that she and the man were a very close couple. In addition to feeling stunned by the news of the diagnosis, I felt a sharp tug on my heart at the vaguest of ideas of how painful and frightening such news must have been for Sommer—as well as, of course, for the man himself and the rest of their family.
Alison herself had had unwelcome experience in this area, and anyone who has read either Alison’s or Sommer’s blogs in the last few years must know the two are very close (virtual) friends. Last summer, Alison announced on her blog that she would be compiling a summer-themed charity anthology in support of Sommer and asked for flash fiction pieces from authors/readers.
I immediately thought of that piece I had written for Alison years before. At the time, she posted my violet-themed story on her H is for Harlot blog. Since the time that blog was discontinued, I had held onto it, not quite finding the right place or feeling quite moved to submit it for publication anywhere. The story is titled “Fireworks Display,” and it takes place on the Fourth of July during a local fireworks show. That meant, of course, that it had a summer theme. I had written it for Alison, and the long and short of it is, when she announced plans for Summer Loving, I could think of no better use for “Fireworks Display” than for it to be potentially published in Sommer’s anthology. I submitted it, Alison accepted it, and I am both honored to be included in and grateful to contribute in a small way to Summer Loving and to Sommer herself.
Here is a bit of “Fireworks Display”:
The dull orange glow of the parking lot lights made all six of the young men just visible as I glanced over my shoulder and saw them all looking at me. I smiled casually and turned back to the pyrotechnic display in front of us. Knowing I was under the watchful eye of six boys likely 10 years my junior made my breath shudder slightly as I drew it. I reached back to tighten the tie on my halter top, desperately tempted to pull the strings and let it fall, let the six behind me see the tie slip from my neck and know I was topless in front of them, my tits exposed to the night even though all they could see was my naked back.
But I tightened the strings as planned and lowered my hands. They shook a bit.
I shifted to stand on the center console and hoisted myself onto the roof of my car. My legs dangled through the sunroof as I leaned back on my elbows, the tops of my breasts possibly visible now to the audience behind me. A cluster of about half a dozen fireworks went up simultaneously, the distant crowd oohing and aahing at the influx of echoing cracks. The largest was an eye-catching violet, its disc of sparks hovering in front of the others as the pyrotechnic perimeter spread.
I glanced over my shoulder again. Six pairs of eyes immediately found mine. Even if we had wanted to talk to each other, the noise of the fireworks display would have smothered any opportunity. They were relegated by necessity to pure voyeurs, with me—the exhibitionist—a lone figure competing against a backdrop of spectacular light and fire.
The story is quite—though not completely—autobiographical. I wrote it about a week after July 4 of that year, and I had indeed gone to see the fireworks by myself and watched them from my car in a local parking lot. I still remember that truck’s pulling up and parking near me, as well as watching the six occupants get out and arrange themselves on the truck’s bed cover…I do love the Fourth of July. :)
Summer Loving is available at All Romance, Amazon US, Amazon UK, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, and Smashwords. (For those who wish to know, Alison has indicated [check the post comments] that the print version from Amazon yields the highest financial benefit for Sommer.) Alison has graciously provided table of contents and a bit about how the anthology came about on her blog here.
All best wishes to Sommer and her family, and thank you to Alison for editing this anthology and to Tamsin Flowers for conceiving of it. Namaste, and thank you so much for visiting.
Love,
Emerald
I had decided to forego the usual Fourth of July parties and gatherings and watch the fireworks by myself this year. About a half hour before dark, I drove to the nearby college where the municipal fireworks were to be launched from the football field, found a parking spot, and sat back to wait, planning to watch the show from my car.
-the opening of “Fireworks Display”
August 4, 2014
Quite Simply an Awesome Time
Because I started traveling the day after it (and am still out of town), I’ve taken quite a while to write about the fabulous reading I attended on July 24 at Lotus Blooms—a magnificent store, incidentally, that I highly recommend patronizing if you ever find yourself in Alexandria, Virginia!

On that note, I think this was the first reading I’d ever done that was local to me. That was a treat and meant that Rick Write was easily able to come along. In fact, it was he who was gracious enough to capture the videographic evidence of my reading below. :) (Big thanks, Rick!)
Despite the store’s being local to me, I had for some odd reason never visited it—a circumstance I’m glad to have remedied! Literally the first thing I noticed upon entering was how beautiful it is. The second thing I experienced was the unambiguous graciousness and friendliness of the staff. I’m so glad editor and author Rachel Kramer Bussel organized and convened this reading at such a lovely location—and that it’s somewhere I’ll have the chance to visit often!

From left to right: Rachel Kramer Bussel, me, Tess Danesi, Kristina Wright, Michelle Augello-Page
As far as the reading goes, it was purely a delight to get to see fellow authors and readers Rachel, Kristina Wright, Tess Danesi, and Michelle Augello-Page. In addition, I was delighted to see to see a few members of the audience I already know and love. You know who you are—thanks so much for coming out to see us. :)
The reading was devoted to Rachel’s anthologies The Big Book of Submission (in which I don’t have a story) and The Big Book of Orgasms (in which I do). I read my story “Payback” from the latter. Once again thanks to Rick Write, here is the video of it:
Big thanks to everyone who came out to see us, and especially to Rachel for organizing, Kris, Tess, and Michelle for coming to read, and Lotus Blooms for hosting us and for simply being awesome!
Love,
Emerald
“This town, this night, this crowd, come on put them up, let me hear it loud, this town, this city, this crowd, stand up on your feet, put your worry down…”
July 30, 2014
Recommended Reading #212: Sexual Hysteria, Pt. II
“IT HAPPENED TO ME: I Waited Until My Wedding Night to Lose My Virginity and I Wish I Hadn’t” by Samantha Pugsley (Religion, Gender Socialization, Memoir, Sex and Culture) 8/1/14
Partly, I’m sure, because this hits a little close to home for me, I truly found this difficult to read, as well as terribly disheartening and sympathy- and empathy-evoking. I so wish this author all the best and appreciate her sharing her story with the aim of supporting others.
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“Porn Stars Want to Know: Why Did Facebook Delete Me?” by Aurora Snow (Pornography, Sex Work, Social Media, Sex and Culture) 8/2/14
Beyond the practical ramifications, of course, I feel this speaks (as so many things seem to) to a larger way collective culture treats sexuality and sex work. I share this and other posts like it because I want us to continue to be reminded and aware of that. Perhaps, then, we will successfully support a shift in it.
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“This Is What Sex-Positive Parenting Really Looks Like” by Lea Grover (Parenting, Youth, Sex and Culture) 7/29/14
Beautifully put. This of course isn’t an example of sexual hysteria itself, of course—I include it under this heading because I feel it offers an example of a helpful counter-approach to the sexual hysteria that seems to pervade our culture, particularly around kids and young people.
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Recommended Reading posted every Wednesday
July 29, 2014
Sommer of Love
In “I Am Behind on Blogging” news, I have a reading to report on that took place last Thursday, and I also have had a busy enough week (most particularly due to traveling over the weekend) that I missed the release of Summer Loving, which came out last week.
Summer Loving, if you haven’t heard about it, is a special anthology. The entire project was conceived by Tamsin Flowers and organized and edited by Alison Tyler. It is a summer-themed anthology from which all the proceeds will go to author Sommer Marsden, whose husband received a cancer diagnosis last year.
I met Sommer online and have known her (virtually) for several years. It’s possible Alison will organize a bit of a blog tour for the book next month, so I’ll wait until then to go into more detail about my story’s back story and how I feel about the project and getting to take part in it. For now, I just want to get the word out that this book is available—and that, again, all the sales proceeds it generates will go to support Sommer and her family. And to say that I am truly honored that my story “Fireworks Display” is included in this anthology.
All buy links can be found in Alison’s post here. As one of her comments on the post mentions, the highest financial amount Sommer would receive per sale would come from Amazon sales of the print edition.
Thank you and love to all,
Emerald
“Knowing I was under the watchful eye of six boys likely 10 years my junior made my breath shudder slightly as I drew it. I reached back to tighten the tie on my halter top, desperately tempted to pull the strings and let it fall, let the six behind me see the tie slip from my neck, know I was topless in front of them, my tits exposed to the night even though all they could see was my naked back.”
-from “Fireworks Display”
July 22, 2014
Recommended Reading #211: (United States) Public Policy, Pt. VI
“Supreme Court Breakfast Table” by Dahlia Lithwick (Reproductive Rights, Law, Sex and Culture) 6/26/14
I appreciate deeply the constitutional right to free speech and generally don’t condone censorship. I also appreciate the difficulty this case did present, and I don’t pretend to be a first amendment scholar. I do, however, feel resonance with what I read in this piece.
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“Sex work is work: exploding the ‘sex trafficking’ myth” by Margaret Corvid (Sex Work, Sex and Culture, Sociology, Law) 7/7/14
When I first read the line about sex trafficking’s being a myth, it gave me pause, and I went back and read the first part of this piece again after I finished it the first time. As I interpret it, the author is not disregarding that force and horrendous violations of human rights occur in sex work; she is asserting that this is not unique to the sex industry and that separating it out as such as though it is a separate phenomenon does not necessarily help any aspiration to eradicate human trafficking and increase safety for workers. That resonates with me. I would maybe have devoted a few more sentences to clarifying a reverence for the profound tragedy that is human trafficking (not just sex trafficking), but I found the thrust of the piece about the nuances of sex work and the problematic nature of seeing it as inherently degrading, harmful, or nonconsensual, as society (or at least certain factions of it) still seems to, potent and relevant.
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“Who gets shot in America: What I learned compiling records of carnage for the New York Times” by Jennifer Mascia (Non-Sex-Related, Memoir, Sociology, Violence, Public Policy) 7/15/14
For an online read, this may seem a fairly long piece. If you have the time to read it, though, I found it unusually interesting and consideration-provoking.
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Recommended Reading posted every Wednesday
July 16, 2014
Recommended Reading #210: Digging Deeper, Pt. XI
“91 Bad Words About Young People and Prostitution: The New York Times Edition” by Elizabeth Wood (Sex Work, Youth, Sex and Culture, Media) 6/25/14
http://www.woodhullalliance.org/2014/...
As I see it, Elizabeth just nails it in this analysis with incisive, articulate, relevant commentary. (I’ve come to not feel surprised by such with anything with the name “Elizabeth Wood” on it, but I appreciate it nonetheless.)
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“I Think My Son Is Into BDSM, What Do I Do?” by Cory Silverberg (BDSM, Parenting, Youth) 8/5/11
While I don’t have (human!) kids and thus do not find myself in this situation, I really like what Cory had to say about it.
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“Life-Long Sexual Monogamy Just Isn’t Natural — Here Are Some Other Options” by Mark A. Michaels and Patricia Johnson (Relationship, Non-Monogamy, Sex and Culture) 6/12/14
I love this (not surprisingly—if you missed it, please see my post on the authors’ latest co-authored book, Partners in Passion). I love what they say, how they say it, and that they say it. I so appreciate seeing this piece—and indeed, a piece like this—receiving a platform and exposure as wide as Alternet’s. (Note that the authors have stated that they did not choose the headline/title. I can appreciate their pointing that out, as it’s not a title I would have chosen or that I feel does justice to the piece’s content. Rather, it does what headlines seem at this point designed to do—incite reaction and, thus, a “click.”)
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Recommended Reading posted every Wednesday
July 9, 2014
Recommended Reading #209: Advocating Progress, Pt. II
“18 Empowering Illustrations to Remind Everyone Who’s Really in Charge of Women’s Bodies” by Julianne Ross (Gender Socialization, Health and Body, Gender Identity, Sexual Identity) 7/2/14
Huge fan of these!
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“Let’s Talk About The Sex-Positive Movement” by Kitten Karlyle (Sex and Culture, Feminism, Memoir, Sociology) 5/14/14
I experienced this as a thoughtful, articulate, important examination of relevant issues around feminism, sexuality, and society.
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“Ultra-rich man’s letter: ‘To My Fellow Filthy Rich Americans: The Pitchforks Are Coming’” by DNA (Non-Sex-Related, Economics, Sociology, Politics, Humanity) 6/30/14
I am so in love with this I don’t even feel I know how to break down into articulation why right now.
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Recommended Reading posted every Wednesday
July 2, 2014
Recommended Reading #208: Sex(uality) as Labor, Pt. IV
“Cutting Off Sex Work Advertising Sites Disrupts Communities, Not Trafficking” by Alana Massey (Sex Work, Law, Sex and Culture) 7/1/14
I don’t feel there’s a lot for me to say about this piece or this subject that isn’t already said here. I feel deeply concerned about this (as well as, not surprisingly, disgusted by it).
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“How the Financial Sector Is Making Life Miserable for Sex Workers” by Tina Horn (Sex Work, Economics, Sociology) 7/14/14
I find this infuriating and appreciate seeing awareness being raised about it. Even if we don’t know the banks’ motivations, reminders of discrimination against sex workers—even those who work in legal areas of sex work—seem important to me.
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“Red Alert: The Feds Shut Down an Escort Site” by Siouxsie Q (Sex Work, Memoir, Economics, Public Policy) 7/9/14
While this deals, of course, with the same direct subject as the first piece for this week, it touches on slightly different things and strikes me, as the Massey piece, as well worth reading.
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Recommended Reading posted every Wednesday
June 25, 2014
Recommended Reading #207: Questions and Examination, Pt. VI
“Are men’s naked bodies the stuff of nightmares? I think not” by Zoe Margolis (Gender Socialization, Health and Body, Sex and Culture) 6/22/14
I agree with the assertions I interpret here about gender equality and gender socialization, and I too have lamented for years the seeming lack of expressions of appreciation for the beauty and sexiness of the male body. I appreciate seeing this said.
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This timeline photo caption on UniteWomen.org’s Facebook page (Gender Socialization, Sex and Culture, Violence) 6/25/14
This, indeed, speaks for itself (be sure to click the “See More” link in the photo caption).
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“Slut-Shaming Hurts Every Woman—Including Mean Girls” by Shira Tarrant (Sociology, Research, Gender Socialization) 6/23/14
I liked and appreciated this because it struck me as a substantive assessment of both the general cultural phenomenon referred to as slut-shaming as well as the study on the subject to which this piece refers. In a relative few words, this piece brings to light a number of issues, and rather than postulate answers, it raises questions. I appreciate that and recommend it due to its potential instigation of awareness and consideration as such.
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Recommended Reading posted every Wednesday