L.Z. Marie's Blog, page 22
April 3, 2013
Spring Cleaning
What a mess–I vow to be brutal!
Spring Cleaning! Some tackle the garage. Some vacuum behind every cushion on the couch, or wipe the blinds, or clean the drapes. Seems like an awful lot of work.
My idea of spring cleaning? My closet! Discarding the frayed, the old, the too tight, and the what-was-I-thinking? Oh, and sorting shoes!
I don’t know–maybe it’s me--but if my clothes are in order perhaps I will:
leave the house faster in the morning
feel perfectly put together with minimal effort
find the outfit I’m looking for in 1/2 the time
throw less tantrums in the closet
Estimated closet spring cleaning time: 2 days
Here’s the supplies I need:
Plastic bin for the ”one day I’ll fit back into these expensive clothes”
Large plastic bag for give-away items
Large plastic bin for thrift store
coffee
courage
resolve
one honest daughter to say, “That’s soooo old lady, mom. Toss it!”
Day #1: Shoes: They’re easy to sort.
Shoes tossed:
have nicked heels
are worn at the toe
have heels so poorly designed I look drunk when walking
give me blisters ( too tight)
are so loose I walk out of them
are no longer my style
might be cute but are not comfortable for any length of time
squeak
jingle loudly from the poorly-placed decorative hardware
While staring at the pile and reviewing the shoes that survived the purge, I have a minor epiphany. The course of one’s life is revealed in shoe purchases.
I tossed:
Uber-pointy, wobbly stilettos: Why? I’m not dating.
Flat ballerinas with no arch support. Why? My day is long and involves walking and standing
Any footwear that is remotely uncomfortable. Why? See above
Any shoe with a square toe. Why? Stacy & Clinton (of What Not to Wear fame) would be horrifed
Any shoe with a chunky heel. Why? See above
What’s left of my fabulous shoes collection? Too many black shoes! And no where near enough expensive fashion-forward shoes! ACK!
Time to go shoe-shopping. Maybe spring cleaning isn’t so bad after all.
Tomorrow: Purging the clothes!
Related links: Closet Craziness; Surviving My Purse; Ode to Stilettos; Denim Distress; Perfect School Bag; Drawer of Misfit Cosmetics; Wardrobe Malfunctions
April 2, 2013
Drawer of Misfit Cosmetics
of the least-used drawer in the spare bathroom.
The make-up I purchased but never wore
and never returned to the beauty store.
Lipsticks so garishly pink
when I bought it, did I pause to think?
Lipsticks a ghastly shade of red
had me resembling the walking dead.
A few dozen shades of foundation
like I’m hosting the United Nations.
Eyeliner too crumbly, too stiff, or too thick
for eyes that say Cleopatra or hot biker chick.
Blush that’s too pink, too orange, or brown
these must have been really marked way down.
Gaudy give-away eye shadows that sparkle and gleam
now only useful for a party at Halloween.
Turquoise mascara and sparkle lotion
garish hues for some drag queen’s potion.
It should all just get thrown into the trash,
don’t know why I keep this ugly make-up stash.
So I say goodbye and close the drawer
vowing to never, never buy any more.
Earth tones, neutrals, and subtle stains
A look that stays between the insane and mundane!
Related Posts: Closet Craziness; Surviving My Purse; Ode to Stilettos; Girlie to-do list #1; Girlie to-do list #2
April 1, 2013
Famous Failures
Failure! If you’re human you have experienced it. Hopefully, even learned from the experience.
We are all familiar with the more famous success-after-multiple-failures stories like that of:
Babe Ruth, who struck out 1,330 times but also hit 714 home runs. “Every strike brings me closer to the next home run.”
Thomas Edison, who tried 6,000 materials before finding the one that worked. “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
Michael Jordan, who did not make the cut for his high school basketball team.
Here’s a few of the lesser known success stories.
In 1920, Professor Robert Goddard was lambasted by the press, including the New York Times for his scientific paper which suggested that space travel was possible. Flash forward 40 years to July 1969 when the Times printed an apology (better late than never) on the advent of the first Apollo moon mission. Goddard is deemed the father of Modern Rocketry.
The memo from Fred Astaire‘s first screen test indicated he had no acting ability, could not sing, was a bit bald, but could dance a little. “The higher up you go, the more mistakes you are allowed. Right at the top, if you make enough of them, it’s considered your style.”
Besides failing 6th grade, Winston Churchill lost every office he ran for until he was elected Prime Minister at age 62. “Never, never, never, never give up.”
Vincent van Gogh created more than 800 paintings. Sales? ONE.
Author of over 562 book in 28 languages, John Creasey received 743 rejections before he was published.
Charles Goodyear experimented with rubber while in a debtor’s prison. His many unsuccessful attempts to find a formula, whereby the rubber could withstand heat, lead his family to poverty. Good thing he kept at it.
History buffs know this one: It took Abe Lincoln three tries to get elected to Congress. He was not reelected. He failed to be elected to the Senate and failed at being elected vice-president. Four years later he became the 16th president of the United States.
Farm worker J.W. Woolworth found a job at the local feed store but was told he didn’t have enough sense to help the customers.1,000 successful stores later his methods proved to be spot on.
Cultural proverbs about failure:
1. Failure is not falling down, but refusing to get up ~Chinese
2. The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows ~Buddha
3. Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors ~African Proverb
4. It would not be better if things happened to men just as they wish ~Heraclitus
5. As a rule, adversity reveals genius and prosperity hides it ~Horace
6. Not everything which is bad comes to hurt us ~Italian Proverb
7. Our greatest glory is not in never falling but rising every time we fall~Confucius
8. Defeat isn’t bitter if you don’t swallow it ~Unknown
9. Fall seven times, stand up eight ~Japanese Proverb
10. God helps those who persevere ~ The Koran
Think uplifting thoughts!
Related Posts: Ponder Worthy advice: If money were no object; Rules for a Good Life; More Rules for a good life;
March 30, 2013
Spa-ing
The verdant foliage at the spa.
Some things never change! 2000 years ago, the ancient Romans cast off their tunics to luxuriate at the spa (aka, the Baths) to gossip, drink wine, shop, and partake in an array of beauty rituals.
2013: We’re still doing the same thing. Oh sure, the products and services may have changed a wee bit, but the experience remains the same.
Ancient Romans bathed in 3 different pools–cold, warm, hot–covered their bodies in olive oil and had a slave scrape the skin clean. They used local clay as a sort of soap and were massaged by slaves.
OK, maybe a few things have changed, BUT the various pools, clay, and massage are identical.
Humans are predictable. Our luxuries and desires unchanged for thousands of years. On a recent trip to the spa I reflected on just this belief. ( I know, nerdy)
The following is a list of what to bring to maximize your spa experience (no toga or chariot required):
1. Friends and/or family: Better than social media, it’s social mudia! Nothing bonds quicker than a layer of mud between people. My advice: Leave the cell phone in the locker.
2. A sense of humor: Ego stays at home: A makeup-less face, mud-flecked hair, green goo-covered body, and matted hair strips you of all dignity.
3. Money: For indulging in all those extra beauty treatments and spa boutique purchases.
4. Trashy magazines: Excellent for poking fun at antics and fashion don’ts of the latest media darlings. Also acts as excellent 500 SPF sun block for face.
5. Gossip: What better way to wile away the time in the mineral baths, mud pond, moisture grotto, or lounge pool than a steady stream of trash talk about family and frenemies. ( It’s a word for a girl who is both friend + enemy= frenemy). It’s a girl thing!
Note: Romans got their juiciest gossip at the Baths! It was THE place for conspiracy and intrigue.
6. Sun screen: To block those warm Southern California rays.
7. Appetite: All that pampering produces a ravenous hunger.
8. Comb: Honestly, I forget one every single time. I drive home looking like a wild woman.
Did I leave anything out? Let me know!
Related Posts: Girlie to do list 1; Girlie to-do list 2; Gadget Girl;
March 29, 2013
Chocolate Birds Nests
Guest blogger and chocolate lover Lauren Shafer hijacked my blog today to share her favorite Easter treat!Lauren says:
Chocolate bird nests are super easy to make, not a lot of ingredients, and they taste amazing. I can’t take all credit for this recipe though. Technically, it’s my moms recipe, but I think mine are just as yummy!
My mom made these every Easter when I was a kid. She made several batches–one for each side of the family.
.
The big problem: Mom had a tough time saving them until AFTER the meal, because I would sneak in the kitchen and eat them. I had to! Once mom served them- they were gone in five minutes!
Making these always brings back memories of me and sis licking the bowl afterward. Good times!
After a few failed attempts and melt downs (I became upset because they didn’t look exactly like mom’s) I finally mastered the recipe. I’ve been making them ever since.
These are perfect for Easter or whenever you have a chocolate craving. Mom adds
peanuts, but in my opinion it’s a waste of space! The more chocolate the better!
Chocolate bird nests PDF
Click Recipes on the navigation bar for more recipes!
March 28, 2013
Arroz Con Pollo
Spring Break this weak! Great, except mia familia expects mom to make dinner.
Fast! No fuss! A crowd pleaser. Add guacamole and tortilla chips and the gang is happy!
I usually double this recipe!
Arroz con pollo PDF
Click Recipes on the navigation bar for more easy dishes.
March 27, 2013
Pantry Pandemonium
This bad-silly poem is in response to a friend’s request. Not the “badness” mind you, but the topic. It’s a fearful subject for lots of moms. The dreaded…the terrible…the pantry.
Open up the door and beware!
Look for ingredients if you dare!
These shelves are high and over full
always disorganized, it’s a house rule!
Cereal to the left, cans to the right
I swear ghosts visit in the middle of the night
to move the bags of pasta and the Tupperware
behind a box of Bisquick and cans of pears.
I try, I do, to organize the space
everything in it’s own neat and tidy place.
with Martha Stewart’s baskets of wicker
and Target plastic with ugly stickers
and mini racks from Bed, Bath & Beyond
and –Forget it! I need Harry Potter’s wand.
“Put it back where you found it!” I beg and I plead.
“You promised, remember? We all agreed.”
Mom is tired, so tired of organizing these shelves
really wish I could just hire those cute Keebler elves.
Maybe if I label the shelves or color code
it would all stay neat, no need for mom to explode.
Then I could find the jam, the mustard, and the spices
Mom would be sooo happy, perhaps even nicer!
And if the honey dribbles down the side of the jar
wipe it off before it sticks like tar.
Tighten the lids, seal the bags Then mom won’t have to nag, nag, nag.
Note to readers: These beautifully arranged cupboards are courtesy of a friend who obviously has too much time on her hands. Hugs, Diana!
Related Posts: Mom’s smoke signals; Sequestration at my house; Queen of T.P.; Wanted: Food Fairy; Impatient me: Life in the fast lane:
March 26, 2013
Email etiquette
You know who I’m writing about. Those co-workers/friends/relatives/bosses who don’t know how to write an effective–repeat–effective email.
The problem: Folks blast off emails before: 1) checking for typos; 2) assessing tone; 3) making the communique easily understandable.
Many of us on-the-go multi-taskers read the glut of emails on our phones. That means:
Small font (unless you changed the font display size)
Blocks of text which are downright daunting to read–you scroll down f-o-r-e-v-e-r.
A few solutions:
1. Use the subject line. Be specific.”Urgent” doesn’t work, because everything is urgent these days.
2. A salutation is required. Note to my students: No how matter how informal we are in class, “Yo” is not the proper way to address your teacher in an email.
3. Get to the point. Immediately. Use active verbs and simple statements. No one wants to read through an overly wordy, convoluted, obtuse, verbose, bombastic, redundant, rambling paragraph to figure out the purpose of the email!!!
4. No ambiguity, please. Use the KISS method. Keep it simple stupid.
5. Be wary of the tone of your email. Does it sound too informal, demanding, pathetic, or arrogant? First drafts of anything tend to be shit need require revision.
6. Use color, bullets, bold, and font size to draw attention to pertinent information but only if appropriate. Don’t bury information about the time and place of a meeting somewhere in the middle of a lengthy unigraph. ( One v-e-r-y long paragraph.) ( Like a uni-brow, only uglier.)
7. Lots of little paragraphs are better and easier on the eye than the dreaded unigraph!
8. Reply to all is not the only option. I’m amazed how many folks think others are interested in their 2 or 3-way conversations.
9. Not everyone knows the hip new acronyms. LOL. Don’t use them. LMAO ( laughing my ass off)
10. One word: Punctuation. Use it! ( OK, that’s 3 words)
11. USING CAPS IS THE SAME AS SHOUTING. That tends to piss off people. The worst offender: My ex-husband. In addition, as any graphic designer will attest, reading all caps is difficult.
12. Irony doesn’t play well in emails. Leave it to poetry, literature, or other witty rhetoric.
13. If your signature line has an uplifting verse or religious quote, any vitriolic censure you write is sure to be read as ironic. (see #12)
Related Posts: Job Skills vs Personality Traits; On-line Job Applications
March 25, 2013
Coconut Cream Eggs
Coconut Cream doesn’t get any better than this. Far better than ANY you’ll find in the store. This recipe is my grandmother’s–she’s 97 years old! She made them every year for Easter. When I first asked her for the recipe she wrote “no calories” at the bottom! My grandmother would never lie!
The most challenging part of this recipe is hiding the eggs in the fridge from the kiddos or spouse until Easter!
March 22, 2013
Grandy Nanny
It’s Fab Female Friday! And this Friday’s feisty woman is Grandy Nanny of Jamaica.
Run-away slave. Guerrilla leader. Politician. Priestess of obeah–an African religion of mysticism, magic, and mayhem.
Sold into slavery by a rival tribe as a child, Nanny was brought to Jamaica to work the sugar plantations. Word of her love potions and spiritual arts eventually garnered her the respect of white and black alike.
Not content with the slave life, Nanny hightailed it into the dense Blue Mountain jungles where many run-aways lived with the natives. A natural leader, Nanny soon became the leader of the Windward Maroons–a large group of ex-slaves determined not to submit to English rule. A powerful organizer, Nanny eventually commanded several Maroon groups in the Caribbean.
The English, underestimating the determination, smarts, and cunning of a slave sorceress, endured heavy casualties caused by the guerrilla warfare tactics of the Windward Maroons Eventually, a peace treaty was signed and the Maroons were able to live free–for a while anyway.
Grandy Nanny is a national folk hero, has two towns named after her, and has many folk claiming to be one of her descendants.
Don’t mess with a woman on a mission!
Related Posts: Marie Laveau ; Boudicca ; Cheng I Sao ; Nicole-Barbe Clicquot; JuliaDomne; Locusta; Goddess of Beer
