L.Z. Marie's Blog, page 20

The Archangels

We are familiar with the 2 most famous archangels, Michael and Gabriel, but according to liturgical sources, there are 8 Princes of the Archangel Order. Here are the first 4.

Metatron

This angel has several titles. Prince of Angels, Angel of the Covenant, Chancellor of Heaven. He’s the link between the Human and the Divine.

He wrestled with Jacob.

and is the Watchman of the Night.

According to Kabbalah, Metatron led the the People of Israel into the desert.

Reportedly (?) he is the tallest angel in Heaven (perhaps that’s a metaphor) and has been known to appear as a tower of fire.

Zoroastrians believe he is bigger than the world itself!

Many believe he is ranked higher than Michael or Gabriel.

Raphael

This angel is first mentioned in the Book of Tobit. ( a questionable text)

He is responsible for healing men’s wounds,

Thought to be one of the 3 angels who visited Abraham.

Healed Jacob after Metatron roughed him up.

Some believe he gave medical advice to Noah after the flood.

Liturgical texts say Raphael guards the Tree of Life ( don’t confuse with the Tree of Knowledge).

A few believe he is one of the 7 angels of the Apocalypse.

The SparkNotes version: Raphael is the angel of healing.

Michael

Translation: “who is as God.”

Islamic, Christian, and Jewish texts all agree that Michael is one of the greatest angels.

He is the angel of repentance and mercy.

Conqueror (sort of) of Satan
One of the angels who laid waste to the army at Sennacherib. ( Whole army–bam–just dead for no apparent reason–Jews win. )
Prevented Abraham, who was proving his obedience to God, from sacrificing his only son.
Appears as a burning bush.
Argued with Satan over the burial rites for Moses.
Holds the keys to the Kingdom of Heaven.
Destroyed Babylon
The above is just a small sampling of his deeds.

Gabriel

“God is my strength.”

Angel of mercy, resurrection, death, and vengence

Along with Michael, he is the only angel mentioned by name in the Old Testament.

Oversees paradise (nice gig)

Sits at the left hand of God

Attributed with having 140 pairs of wings

Destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah.

Rescued a few Holy men from incineration.

Was kicked out of Heaven for a bit because he did not do exactly as God ordered.

Gave Mary of Nazareth the good news.
Spoke to Joan of Arc

Tomorrow: 3 lesser known Princes and 1 ultimate Bad Boy.

The Archangels-2

Yesterday’s blog gave a brief overview of Metatron, Raphael, Michael, and Gabriel.

Angel fun fact: Most angel names end with the suffix “el,” which translates as “of God.”

The next 4 Princes of the celestial order are:

Barbiel:

The angel for the month of October and February

Has the distinction of being one of 7 Electors (in the Underworld) who is under the rule of Zaphiel ( aka, ruler of the Order of Cherubim)

Jehudiel:

Rules the movements of the celestial spheres

Not always included in the archangel list

Barachiel/ Barakile/Barkiel:

The lightening of God

Ruler of February

Prince of the Order of Confessors

One of 4 ruling seraphim

Ruler of the planet Saturn and zodiac signs Scorpio and Pisces

One of 3 angels you want to call upon in a game of chance (The Vegas angel?)

Ruler/Prince of the 2nd Heaven

Satan ( before the Fall):

Some scholars believe that Satan and Lucifer and not one in the same. Lucifer is thought to refer to Nebuchadnezzar, King of Babylon. Some believe that St. Jerome mixed up his reading of Isaiah 14:12. The mix-up is perpetrated by Milton in Paradise Lost.

The term is used to denote an office/position, not a specific angel

Hebrew name meaning “adversary”

Originally ha-satan: cheif of seraphim, head of the Order of Virtues

The Talmud says he was created on the 6th day of creation

Has 12 wings instead of the “normal” 6

Prince of the power of air

Either took the form of a serpent in the Garden of Eden or used the serpent to tempt Eve

Not referred to as enemy of God until New Testament

By the way, there is no mention of fallen angels in the Old Testament.

Related Posts: The Archangels; Angel Hierarchy

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Published on April 28, 2013 16:44

Feminine Forgery

Fab Female Friday!

A mom’s gotta do, what a mom’s gotta do! Even back in the mid 1600′s!

Mary Peck Butterworth had seven children and a hubby whose paycheck didn’t cover the bills. The cost of living was sky high–an economic hardship to which we can all relate.

This desperate mom hatched a brilliant plan to garner more cash. While the kiddos frolicked outside, Mary gathered her quills, ink, and some leftover fabric and got busy! Making money!

Seems Mary was quite the artist! And she used her skills to counterfeit. But creating individual bills was very time consuming. With hardly enough time for the cooking, washing, cleaning, and mending, Mary needed a brilliant idea for a more efficient method of making the dough. And she did!

Voila! The first disposable counterfeiting plate. Actually, it wasn’t a real plate but a piece of her petticoat. (We woman are so practical)

When Mary was done, she tossed the fabric into the fire–the evidence gone in a puff of smoke.

Pretty soon, Mary hired a few employees. Let’s see… there were a few family members who wanted in on the biz, some like-minded neighbors, a few god-fearing churchgoers, and the deputy sheriff.

Yup! Life was good! And Mary enjoyed about 7 years of blissful phony bill passing.

But her crimes caught up with her when an eagle-eyed shopkeeper noticed soemthing amiss and called the law.

Lucky for Mary, the police never found any evidence to convict her.

Mary must have learned her lesson because there’s no proof she ever took up paperhanging again.

Mary Butterworth: Mom. Wife. Artist. Entrepreneur. Small Business Owner. Funny money maker.

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Published on April 26, 2013 05:38

Snack-happy Son Goes to Costco

“I’m off to Costco! Any requests?” I shout from the family room.
Thump-thump-thump. Footsteps tread down the stairs.
“I’m goin’ with you, mom,” teen son informs me.
My eyes narrow, instantly suspicious. “Why?”
“I’m hungry. There’s no food in this house!”

Definition for no food: lack of munchies, microwaveable fast food, and/or cans of chili.
Note: Vegetables, fruit, pasta, rice, and frozen meat products are available in refrigerator/freezer.

I hand son the keys and tell him to drive. Mmmm…it will be nice for someone to push the 2-ton cart and load the heavy boxes into the car’s trunk.

Warning: Do not take a hungry teenager to Costco! Especially a ravenous son!

Our Costco conversation:

“We need another one,” he says, pointing to the 8-pack in my hand.
“I am not buying 20 dollars worth of canned chili!”
“It’s my daily snack!” he hoists three 8-packs into the cart. “How ’bout these?”

He pulls a 12-pack of over-priced vegetable & fruit individual serving-size smoothies from cold storage. “I take these to class! Sis drinks them too! We need 2 cases.” Into the cart they go. “I’m so glad I came. You never get the good stuff.”

Good stuff= over-priced processed food/drink.

The packages and multi-packs are stacked high in the cart. My inner calculator has long since crashed. (10…20…15…12…14…oh, forget it.)

At the register, he gleefully sets the grub on the conveyor belt. “I’m starving! Can I stop at the food court for lunch?”

As if spending a zillion dollars on food wasn’t enough, we wheel the cart to the snack bar outside where he orders a gigantic sandwich.

The Good: He loaded and unloaded our haul. And put the food in the cupboards.

The Bad: He bought a calorie-laden smoothie for me. I had to drink it.

The Ugly: My pantry is filled with cans of chili.

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Published on April 24, 2013 05:35

London Calling

While mom slogs away editing 2nd novel, writing 3rd, & teaching, most-fortunate 1st daughter is enjoying an all-expense paid trip to England and Paris! ( courtesy of beneficent grandma)
So direct from fabulous, oh-so-chic London, 1st daughter kidnapped my blog to provide some jet-setting insight!

OMG! Public transport! Amazing! It’s essential here and no matter your social class or neighborhood, everyone uses it. Hands down, the oyster card is the best way for getting around London. Buy it weekly (£35) – and you can use it on any subway or bus. Also, everything is super clean and well- managed. I definitely recommend the public transportation for seeing the city.

The Fashion! Londoners certainly like variety! It was 55 degrees and you will see shorts and flip flops or fur vests. And scarves. Lots of scarves. And flat shoes–hellloooo, US buyers! Bring in some fashion forward flats for us on-the-move girls.

While doing the tourist sightseeing thing, I also checked out the locals. The current looks:

blazer with boyfriend jeans, bright flats mixed with bright patterned scarf–notice mine in the photo?
jean shorts with tights and some wedge booties
almost anything goes.
The H& M in London is to die! (Mom, send more $$. LOL) Whatever they wear, the Brits rock their ensembles with confidence.

Everyone warned me how expensive Europe is–because of the exchange rate— but I find the prices are on par with those in the states. I don’t feel like I’m paying the astronomical fees that everyone was talking about.

Exchange rates: Do not go to your local bank before the trip. They over charge for the exchange. Local London banks compete with better exchange rates. You end up saving much more. I bought another glass of beer with my savings!

Thanks for letting me takeover your blog, mom. Can’t wait for Paris!

Related links: Sequestration at my house; First House, Prom poem; Teenagers are useful;

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Published on April 23, 2013 08:05

Multi-tasking Flunky

Life moves at warp speed–and like many of you– all my multi-tasking skills are required to keep up! As a Multi-Tasking Flunky, I tend to do dumb stuff…with amazing regularity. Frequent do-overs are necessary–sooo not efficient!

Applying hand lotion before walking out the door–oops! Can’t turn the doorknob!
Not checking to see if my reading glasses are in my purse before leaving the house–nah, I didn’t need to read anything today.
Not purchasing reading glasses for EVERY room of the house–because I can never find them anywhere!
Putting a meal in the oven only to forget about it while completing other tasks–What’s that burnt smell–aw, damn!
Never remembering if I closed the garage door.
Forgetting to include the email attachment.
Leaving the grocery list at home. (A photographic memory would come in handy.)
Neglecting to hit SEND on a text, then wondering why the recipient didn’t reply.
Forgetting to gas the car after work, which means filling it at 6 am.
Asking someone a question and then not listening to the answer.
Looking for reading glasses… that are on my head.
Taking leftovers home and never eating them.
Writing to-do lists and then promptly misplacing them.
Forgetting I put a load of clothes in the wash or dryer…for days.
Always misplacing my cell phone–Hey, somebody call me!
Neglecting to transfer the important items when changing my purse–Where are my house keys?
Never tightening the lid on the water bottle. The most expensive misstep of all because the technology goes for a refreshing dip and Apple gets more of my money.

Hubby and kiddos could probably add a few others–and they tried–but my snippy-sassy reply just sent them running!

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Published on April 22, 2013 05:43

Student Translations

We’ve all read the “She Says…She Means…” funnies that make their way around the email and Facebook circuit–and they’re always good for a laugh.

Here’s my teacher-student version.

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Published on April 19, 2013 05:34

Accessory Anxiety

Dressing for work in the wee hours of the morning might be easier if it were not for accessory anxiety.

One day it just happens! You realize you own more accessories than is manageable!

Accessories are defined as:

Belts: Styles range from wide, extra wide, skinny, hip, and waist. Sizes range from feelin’ skinny to feelin’ chubby.
Scarves: Wrinkled, eternity, fringed, silk, long, extra long, and winter,
Necklaces: Oddly enough—or perhaps predictably—the perfect ( goes with everything) length remains allusive. Necklace styles: Refined, gold, silver, chunky, ethnic, elegant, casual, and art-festival find.
Rings: Cheap, funky, semi-precious, and precious
Bracelets: see above.
Watches: Yeah! I wear the same one everyday.

All this variety leaves me scrambling in the morning. Or dithering before going out. Or making last minutes selections before an event.

“What are you doing?” Hubby asks from the living room while checking his watch.
“I can’t find the right necklace for this outfit.”
“Just put on anything!”

The Horror!

See, what men don’t understand is that women have clothing styles and different necklines with which to contend.

Hubby has 3 style options.
1. career
2. casual
3. work-out

Except for the work-out gear, his wardrobe is accessory-free! ( I’m fairly certain a water bottle and an energy chew are NOT accessories.)

I try to explain the problem but Hubby’s eyes just glaze over ( like mine when he talks sports).

Different tops require different “looks.” Jeans with a designer low-cut t-shirt require a different necklace than a peasant skirt and blouse.

A necklace hanging under my top looks dumb. If it’s too short, it leaves a big empty skin space between shirt and neck.

Accessories must coordinate. Must complement the outfit! Should add visual interest. (I think it’s on page 58 of the Vogue Bible)

“Just wear the necklace I bought you for your birthday,” Hubby says.
“That’s a modern piece, these pants have a funky vibe.” Duh!
“You make your life too complicated!” Hubby says as I hold different necklaces up to the outfit. “Just wear the same one all the time!”
“Excellent idea!” I respond. “I will cancel the 499 ESPN channels we pay extra for every month. One sports channel should be enough!”

One…two…three seconds pass.

“I think the real problem, honey, is that you don’t have enough accessories!”

Note: Photo is NOT representative of my accessory collection–I’m still looking for a suitable tiara.

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Published on April 18, 2013 05:44