Chelle Ramsey's Blog, page 44

FINDING TRUE HAPPINESS_MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY MOMENT

Happiness resides not in possessions, and not in gold, happiness dwells in the soul. Democritus

This quote became a reality that my family has experienced over the last month. I've been a bit scarce on my blog and social media during that time. My home caught on fire at the end of September and it has brought with it so many challenges and tasks to deal with. It was the day after my youngest son's birthday.

Life hasn't been the same since, as we have been working to rebuild our lives to the new normal. Unfortunately for us, this new normal may last for approximately 3-4 months as the contractors work on our home. Fortunately for us, our home wasn't completely destroyed. Yet, we have not been able to live in our home because of the damages we did incur, as well as the smoke damage. For the last month we've been living in a hotel, which is quite a distance from our home.

While hotel living has been inconvenient, we are thankful to be together and in good health. My family has truly learned the lesson about making the best of what we have in in every circumstance. We were not able to take anything from our home except for the clothes we had on our back that day. Struggles and challenges abound, but God is faithful and He has truly been taking care of and providing for us.

My husband, daughter, two sons, and myself have both learned to be happy with what we have and in each and every moment we've been blessed with. But above all we're learning to be happy with and appreciative of one another. We are thankful in the small things and in various moments throughout the day. We're happy because we know that we create our own happiness, and it doesn't come with the items that were lost in the fire, or other unimportant things in life. We're happy because we have the greatest gift of all, our love for one another.

 If you enjoyed this post, I encourage you to share it by clicking the social media icons above. If you want to learn more about the woman behind the blog, or my books, visit me at www.cmichelleramsey.com. Until the next time I'm just... Writing My Dreams,By: Chelle Ramseywww.cmichelleramsey.com

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY MOMENT_LOVING YOU FOR YOU

"You must love yourself before you love another. By accepting yourself and fully being what you are, your simple presence can make others happy." Unknown


We are often our worst critics. Learning to know who you are deep within, why you behave the way that you do, and knowing what's most important to you is the greatest justice that you can do for yourself. None of us are perfect and we never will be. What we can do is learn to embrace ourselves, including our faults.

Shakespeare's quote from Hamlet, "To thine own self be true," is spot on. Because once you know yourself and can keep it real with you, then you can be real with others. It's impossible to be fake with those you come into contact with when you always keep it real within.

You can't help but be the best that you can be in almost every situation. Allowing yourself to open up and shine forth also frees others. When people see that you're always giving your best, accepting of yourself, and that you love yourself, they can't help but be inspired. Your presence makes a difference in their world.

Go forward in this week, embrace you, celebrate you, and love you.

Be blessed.

If you enjoyed this post, I encourage you to share it with others by clicking the social media icon below. Thanks for dropping in and as always please leave a comment, because I just love chatting with you. You can link up with me online using the icons above.

Come check out my books, and learn more about the woman behind the blog at my website www.cmichelleramsey.com . Until the next time I'm just...
Writing My Dreams by: Chelle Ramsey www.cmichelleramsey.com

WRITER WEDNESDAY_LOVING HER MAN

Welcome to #writerwednesday. Here on Writing My Dreams, you will have sneak peeks at upcoming projects that I am working on, or my published books available on Amazon. Today I'm sharing a snippet from the second book in The House of BeJeweled series, entitled BeJeweled: What A Tangled Web We Weave. This #wip has just been returned from the editor, I'm proud to say. I plan to begin the edits this weekend.

This excerpt comes from Chapter 7:
LOVING HER MAN

Nikki got off work a little earlier that evening and arrived home around seven. Carlos was sitting in the parking lot on the hood of a car with a few of his boys, when she walked up to their complex.
She smiled at him and said hello to his friends. Carlos turned up a bottle of Jameson, guzzling with one eye closed, and watching her with the other eye.
“Now that’s how I like my woman Carlos…big round brown, firm tight waist, and glorious thighs to take me to heaven!” his friend Jacob crowed.
Carlos pulled the bottle down from his lips and licked them, never taking his eyes off Nikki.
“Yeah man…that’s how my Tasha is,” another of Carlos’ cronies Bud teased. “Them thighs be good for gripping a man tight, and taking him for a nice warm ride on a cold winter’s night,” he cackled before puffing on his cigarette.
Nikki rolled her eyes at both of them. She couldn’t stand Carlos’ friends and he knew it.
“Alright y’all chill now. Hey Ms. Nikki, you have a good day at work?” Devon asked. He was the one person she could stand. But she wouldn’t consider him a friend of Carlos.’ Devon was a neighbor that sometimes stopped to talk with the other two dummies and her husband. He was married, but he was a real nice guy and Nikki often wished Carlos would hang around him more and the other two less. She had hopes that some of his good ways would rub off on Carlos.
“Yes, I did Devon. Thanks for asking. Honey, I’m going upstairs to cook dinner. I’ll see you in a while,” she said, turning to Carlos.
He still had not said two words to her, but he kissed her full on the lips, never breaking eye contact with her.
Nikki was fired up inside when she reached the apartment. Not only had her husband not asked about her day, but he had stood by allowing his ‘friends’ to disrespect him and her. She wasn’t some random common woman walking down the street they were commenting on, but his wife. What man would stand back and allow other men to make comments about their woman, in their face like that? Not to mention, another man had to step in, and curb their disrespect.
Am I really on display now? She thought. On days like this I wish…
“What Nikki…what do you wish darling?” she asked out loud. Shaking her head, she walked to the bedroom and undressed to prepare for a relaxing shower. But she needed some encouragement first. GET THE 1ST BOOK IN THE SERIES, BEJEWELED: THE FLIGHT OF AN ANGEL ON AMAZON.
If you enjoyed this post, I encourage you to share it with others by clicking the social media icon below. Thanks for dropping in and as always please leave a comment, because I just love chatting with you. You can link up with me online using the icons above.

Come check out my books, and learn more about the woman behind the blog at my website www.cmichelleramsey.com . Until the next time I'm just...
Writing My Dreams
by: Chelle Ramsey
www.cmichelleramsey.com

ACTIONS REALLY DO SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS_WOMAN UP THREE

http://stockshop.wordpress.com/page/5/Our "Woman Up" series is back! In our previous two series we discussed how important it is for women to own up to our responsibilities of how we're portrayed in society and the impact it has on our daughters and younger generations.

Today, let's take another glimpse at ways we can woman up. My husband has a saying that "we're role models, whether we like it or not." I've never seen this more true than as I watch my daughter. I grew up in a time where we were taught to do as I say, not as I do. Well we can preach that all day long, but the message doesn't quite hit home. In more ways than one through the years I have realized some of the things I've done and the things I said, sounded just like my mother. They weren't always pleasant or good. Yet, these attitudes that I picked up came directly from her and I struggle with dropping them off at the wayside, because it's an inherent part of who I've become. And she often told me that she was the mother, and I was the child. Hmmm, that message was heard, but not received.

It's the same way today with my own daughter. I sometimes I cringe as I witness her carry out some of my attitudes or actions. Then as I correct her, I have to recall that she's only emulating what she's been taught by yours truly. At that point I have to take on the responsibility for what I've created. How? I have to reverse everything by changing my attitudes and actions. I have to discuss with her why I did or said certain things and admit that I was wrong for handling things in a certain manner. I explain to her why we should uphold a different attitude and the results for not doing so vs. the outcomes of changing our attitudes.

It wasn't always easy to admit that I was wrong. As a matter-of-fact, I started with the same attitude my mother held, I'm the adult and you're the child. That was the worst approach that I could take and when my husband told me so...I disagreed. Unfortunately for me, it developed a series of bad habits that are so hard to break within my daughter. As my husband also said, we have to be careful because children watch their parents and take on their attitudes, but then they put their own little switch on it. And you can't account for their perspective or outcome of their little twist.

As a woman I have come to learn there is nothing wrong with admitting I'm wrong. There's nothing wrong with humbling myself and having open conversations about my faults with my children. Had I done so earlier, my children wouldn't be carrying the burden of my backwards perspective on child rearing, or being a woman.

Being a woman doesn't mean, do as I say and not as I do. Being a woman doesn't come with making a strong stance that I'm right and you're wrong. And it definitely doesn't mean that my way is the only way. No, being a woman means that I am not afraid to humble myself and admit when I'm wrong. Being a woman means that I can learn from my children as they learn from me. And being a woman, means that I trust my husband's words, respect them, and adhere to his advice when he gives me words of wisdom.


Missed the first two posts? The links are below...

http://www.writingmydreams.com/2014/09/its-time-to-woman-uptalk-about-it.html

http://www.writingmydreams.com/2014/09/woman-up-iitalk-about-it-tuesday.html

If you enjoyed this post, I encourage you to share it with others by clicking the social media icon below. Thanks for dropping in and as always please leave a comment, because I just love chatting with you. You can link up with me online using the icons above.

Come check out my books, and learn more about the woman behind the blog at my website www.cmichelleramsey.com . Until the next time I'm just... Writing My Dreamsby: Chelle Ramsey www.cmichelleramsey.com  

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY MOMENT_TURNING YOUR SORROWS INTO JOY

For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime! Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.  Psalm 30:5


When the trials of life come and ravage our spirits, we become depleted on all that's good. We continue to question why these things happen to us and want it to come to an end. It becomes easy to feel overwhelmed and fed up. Drained of spiritual strength, it's easy to become depressed and bitter. Sometimes we even begin to believe God has turned His back on us and no longer hears our prayers.

Looking back over the good times in life and all the mountain highs will bring encouragement. Recalling what the Lord has done in your life gives you hope for tomorrow. Sometimes we go through life challenges to strengthen our faith in Him and sometimes to have a testimony about how great our God is.

Whatever the reason for the trial, stand strong in faith, knowing that joy comes in the morning.

If you enjoyed this post, I encourage you to share it with others by clicking the social media icon below. Thanks for dropping in and as always please leave a comment, because I just love chatting with you. You can link up with me online using the icons above.

Come check out my books, and learn more about the woman behind the blog at my website www.cmichelleramsey.com . Until the next time I'm just... Writing My Dreamsby: Chelle Ramsey www.cmichelleramsey.com  

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY MOMENT_A FIERY EXPERIENCE

Deuteronomy 31:6 "Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you. He will not fail you or forsake you.”

Life brings tests and challenges that sometimes we believe that we just cannot bear. Those times test us and cause us to question our beliefs and our strength. It's easy to give up or give in during those times. I'm speaking from experience.

The last few months have been extremely challenging and the last two weeks have been ferocious. My mother had an accident that required me to be by her side more than ever before. I took a couple of days off work to focus on her and run back and forth with her to the hospital last week. I also had to field calls from other family members, keeping everyone updated on her condition. In the meantime, my family still needed me at the end of the day when I returned home. I was drained mentally and physically. Despite the hectic schedule I was maintaining during the last week, I had other pressures I had to deal with at home. My family was going through our own private challenge that no one was privy to. At times I was frustrated and wanted to scream. But in those times I had to recall that it wasn't for me to rely on my strength. I had to rely on His strength. And He carried me through that week and He's still carrying me now. Not only me, but definitely my husband as well.

In times of turmoil and pressure, take a moment to focus on the fiery experiences you have gone through in life. Reflect on some of the toughest points in your life and then fast forward to the outcomes. Realizing that He brought you through, and you survived (because you're still here), will give you strength to go through the present ordeal. And even greater than that, you'll have another gift that comes only from Him...peace.

If you enjoyed this post, I encourage you to share it with others by clicking the social media icon below. Thanks for dropping in and as always please leave a comment, because I just love chatting with you. You can link up with me online using the icons above.

Come check out my books, and learn more about the woman behind the blog at my website www.cmichelleramsey.com . Until the next time I'm just...
Writing My Dreams
by: Chelle Ramsey
www.cmichelleramsey.com

THANKFUL THURSDAY_BEYOND THE ORDINARY

It's been quite a while since I've done a thankful Thursday, so this week I'm doing away with #throwback and going back to being #thankful. There are so many things that we take for granted in this life, at least I know I do. So every now and then I have to stop and reflect on the things that I'm thankful for. Today I decided to focus on the non-traditional things to be thankful for. Of course I'm thankful for every day that He gives me, because it's a gift. I'm thankful for my life, family, vision and hearing, speech and touch, and so many other blessings.

But there are some simple, silly things that just make life fun and some not so silly things! Here's my list:

SIMS FREE PLAY - Oh how I love unwinding on my Sims game when I just want to tune the world out. And there's nothing like achieving new levels, building new houses, and styling those fashionable/or unfashionable Sims, depending on their personality types.




2.   PANDORA - This is my spot! I love to listen to a variety of music including the soft rock of the 80's and 90's, to my hip hop (Tupac). I have my country station, my pop station, my R&B, and of course my Contemporary Christian and Gospel. But my favorite stations are my: Kem, Chrisette Michele, Anthony Hamilton, and both of my Smooth Jazz stations. Pandora's my best bud when I'm writing, need to relax, working on the 9-5, cooking, cleaning, or...you know! If you haven't downloaded Pandora go check it out. PANDORA




3. HP ENVY dv7 NOTEBOOK PC - I love my baby! She allows me to generate so much creativity and pour passion into my works. Whether my works are my books, my blogs, plays, or business works my notebook is so essential to everything that I do. It's my home-away-from-home because I spend so much time on her. I enjoy my phone and my tablet as well and they go everywhere I go, but she's the real power behind everything that I do. I have my mother-in-law to thank for her.



4. BUTTER PECAN ICE CREAM - Blue Bell, Breyers, Edy's...I love my butter pecan ice cream. It's my favorite dessert and comfort food. I could eat it for breakfast, lunch, dinner and dessert. My body may not agree, but my heart does.
    5. MY HUSBAND'S F-150 - It has pulled us through so many situations. Even now as my SUV has broken down and it's completely done, he used his F150 a few weeks ago to tow it off the highway into a parking lot. It was the only vehicle we had for 1 1/2 years after my van broke down. And now once again it's the only vehicle our family has for a little while. We must learn to appreciate him a little more.       What are you thankful for this Thursday that's beyond the ordinary?   If you enjoyed this post, I encourage you to share it with others by clicking the social media icon below. Thanks for dropping in and as always please leave a comment, because I just love chatting with you. You can link up with me online using the icons above.

Come check out my books, and learn more about the woman behind the blog at my website www.cmichelleramsey.com . Until the next time I'm just...
Writing My Dreams
by: Chelle Ramsey www.cmichelleramsey.com

WRITER WEDNESDAY_PRAYERS UNHEARD

http://pixgood.com/woman-praying-hands.htmlWriter Wednesday's here! The fun part about #writerwednesday is that I get to share snippets of my published works, upcoming works, and any wips I'm working on. I am sharing an excerpt from BeJeweled: What A Tangled Web. It's the second book in The House of BeJeweled series, expected to be released this fall. I originally planned a release at the end of this month, giving you something to close the summer out on. But things happen and I have had to change my release date. So all I will say now is that it's coming soon. 

How many of you have felt at times that your prayers have gone unheard? Or maybe you felt as if you were just overlooked because you didn't deserve it. Sometimes when we've been waiting on a prayer to manifest especially after several years, it's easy to believe you've been forgotten and you simply want to give up, if you haven't already. That's exactly what happens when no one tells you what to do during the waiting. The waiting is where real faith steps in. But what happens when a woman has no faith anymore? Read on...



BEJEWELED: WHAT A TANGLED WEB_EXCERPT

CHAPTER NINE: PRAYERS UNHEARD

Wesley took Nikki to his car and settled her in after Olivia and Raymond had left the reception. Closely following Olivia’s orders, Wesley stopped Nikki by Walmart to equip her with everything that she would need: a nightgown, fresh underclothes, and a simple outfit for her to wear the next day, until she could return home.
Nikki was searching for a way to get back home to her husband. She knew that it was pointless to try and convince Wesley. He had shared with her on the drive to Olivia’s home that he wanted so desperately to get her out of the clutches of her alcoholic husband, until he could get the help that he needed.
“Alright, let me know if there’s anything else I can do for you. I’m heading home for the night, but you’ve got my cell phone number.” He had stayed at Olivia’s house with Nikki for about 45 minutes just listening to her talk, before deciding it was time to head home.
“Thanks, Wes. I really mean it, thanks for everything.”
Wesley’s eyes softened as he looked into Nikki’s. “Baby girl, I’m just doing what anyone would do. Friends are supposed to have each other’s back and that’s all I’m doing. I know you’d be there for me, if I needed it.”
Nikki smiled at Wesley. “I would do whatever I could. Thanks again.” She walked Wesley to the door of the townhome and gave him a hug.
“And Nikki…say a prayer, okay? He hears you.”
Nikki simply nodded, smiled at Wesley and closed the door behind him. She didn’t know about Him hearing her. If He heard her, He would change her husband. He wouldn’t let them keep failing to have kids year after year, and Carlos beating on her week after week. She shook her head and pushed those thoughts to the back of her head. All she wanted was to rest for the night and find a way to get back home.
I hope that you enjoyed this snippet. If you missed the first book in the series you can get it on AMAZON.

If you enjoyed this post, I encourage you to share it with others by clicking the social media icon below. Thanks for dropping in and as always please leave a comment, because I just love chatting with you. You can link up with me online using the icons above.

Come check out my books, and learn more about the woman behind the blog at my website www.cmichelleramsey.com . Until the next time I'm just...
Writing My Dreams
by: Chelle Ramsey www.cmichelleramsey.com

WOMAN UP II_TALK ABOUT IT TUESDAY

Leland Bobbe @www.gettyimages.com

 Last week I posted a blog topic focusing on a few self-created issues women encounter today, entitled "Woman Up." Well today's post is part 2 of that post.

There have been so many red flags that catch my attention when I look at females today, especially the young ladies. However, it was a particular discussion that I read about on FB that got me on this spiel. The discussion centered around a mother teaching her daughter how to perform oral sex. I was outdone to say the least. I am all for sex education in the schools and in the home. I truly believe we must equip our children with the accurate knowledge, rather than hide away and let them learn about it outside the home.

But at what point do we say enough is enough? At what point do you consider the lines are being crossed? My mother didn't have those conversations with me. She simply told me over and over again not to get pregnant, don't be hanging around with different boys it doesn't look lady-like, and so on. But we never had any depth or substance to the conversation, and I wish that we did. On the other hand I see some mothers go so far in depth as to teach their children about various sexual positions and so on.

So we've got two extremes on the spectrum. To discuss or not to discuss that is the question? I believe discussion enlightens our children in a positive way. There are numerous benefits from having open discussions with your daughter, but here are just a few:
Your daughter is informed, she has the proper knowledge, and in most cases she is then able to enjoy a comfortable relationship with you. A sense of comfort rests upon her, when your daughter feels comfortable coming to you with questions. If she hears certain topics discussed at school among her peers, she should be able to come home and get an accurate understanding from you, the parent. If not, she's liable to make up her own rules, which may include experimentation along the way. Knowing that she can confidently share with you, what's on her mind will allow her to mature in her knowledge and trust you more.Discussion also ensures you know what's going on in her world. I can think of no better way to get an understanding of your daughter's mindset than to listen to what she has to say about the conversations being held at school among her peers.It provides you with an opportunity to build a solid foundation of morals, values and respect of how your daughter views her body, intimate relationships, and what she has to offer in the world.With Storm, I have been able to gauge where she's at and what she's ready for by simple conversation. From the time we first began to discuss her changing body (before the changes occurred), to her being attracted to boys I prod along at her level of comfort. If she asks me a question, I don't turn red and run away. I stay and deal with the issue, find out why she's asking, and it opens up conversation from there. We have read books, watched shows, talked about decisions and mistakes that I have made in life on every possible subject. If the conversation progressed at a rate, she was uncomfortable with, I slowed down to her pace and gave her that respect. My level of discomfort was never an issue, because it was about me being there for her and ensuring she is equipped with everything that she needs.

One of the most important factors that I have found is it's important to our relationship that I respect her privacy. When I first began my menstrual cycle, my mother called her mother and sisters to inform them. That's so embarrassing! To me there was no need for anyone to know anything. And I keep that level open with my daughter. I discuss certain issues with my husband, because as a father, he needs to know what's going on with her. But I draw the line after him. Because of the respect that I have for her privacy, she is comfortable coming to me telling me simple things, like the fact that she's crushing on some little knuckleheaded boy. Or the fact that two of her friends are liking the same boy, and one of them even has a boyfriend.

I just believe that as women we sometimes make the mistake of going too far. Sometimes we don't want to leave our daughters in the dark like our mothers left us, but we have to maintain a level of respect. Without that respect how can we teach them to respect themselves? The discussions leave an opportunity to instill values and respect in your daughter. If the only thing that you're teaching them is how to have good sex, what's the best position to make him 'say your name, say your name,' and how to place lipstick rings on him, then you're doing her a disservice. She's being taught how to disrespect herself and her body and that she has nothing to offer the world.

Love, respect and honor yourselves women...and then you can teach your daughters, our futures to do the same. She won't go for anything, but she'll stand for the best thing...herself.

Join me as we continue the discussion on this "Woman Up" series. Because I know that we could discuss this controversial topic all day.

If you enjoyed this post, I encourage you to share it with others by clicking the social media icon below. Thanks for dropping in and as always please leave a comment, because I just love chatting with you. You can link up with me online using the icons above.

Come check out my books, and learn more about the woman behind the blog at my website www.cmichelleramsey.com . Until the next time I'm just... Writing My Dreamsby: Chelle Ramsey www.cmichelleramsey.com  

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY MOMENT_WAITING WITH PURPOSE

Romans 8:24-25 For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
It's hard waiting and expecting something and never seeing the manifestation of the thing you're hoping for. In the beginning you're like a little child waiting on Christmas. You know that it's coming because it's been promised, you only have to wait for that day to arrive to get your just reward. But in other ways it isn't anything like a child waiting for Christmas. That child can see the gifts under the tree, he sees all the decorations and hears the songs playing on the radio, and sees the movies on TV. So he knows that it's coming, because it always does at the same time every year. But with you, you have no idea of when it's coming and there aren't any signs to show the manifestation of the thing you're hoping for is on the way. But you stand by faith, believing that in time you shall receive.

But then the days and weeks turn into months and you continue to pray and wait, and pray, and wait some more. But what happens when those months turns into years? It's so easy to give up if you haven't begun to see the manifestation of a promise in your life. We begin to become confused thinking maybe that wasn't promised to me, or maybe I misunderstood. Sometimes you even question your clarity thinking maybe it was me speaking and not God. Some people get to a place of feeling they haven't received because they don't deserve. Well truthfully none of us deserves His goodness. But He blesses us anyway, not because we deserve it, but because He's just that good.

Have you ever considered that during the waiting there's something else you're supposed to be getting out of the wait? Have you ever thought the waiting was for a reason? Maybe you haven't received the thing you're hoping for yet, because you haven't gotten the lesson out of the wait. Sometimes we go through ordeals or wait times because He wants us to learn something during that time. Whether that lesson is strength, patience, humility, faith, compassion or something else it doesn't matter. If it's His plan for our lives it will be made manifest at His time, not ours. " For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11.

It may be a few years, a few months, or several years but don't give up on God. As the song says, "...because He won't give up on you." During the wait ask Him what is it that He wants you to learn, what does He want you to get out of the experience? And then sit quietly and listen. He'll tell you because He simply wants you to come to Him.

Be blessed my friend and continue to wait with love, expectancy, and faith. But during the wait, do the work and wait with a purpose. For when you know your purpose, you can fulfill your greatest potentials.

If you enjoyed this post, I encourage you to share it with others by clicking the social media icon below. Thanks for dropping in and as always please leave a comment, because I just love chatting with you. You can link up with me online using the icons above.

Come check out my books, and learn more about the woman behind the blog at my website www.cmichelleramsey.com . Until the next time I'm just...
Writing My Dreams
by: Chelle Ramsey
www.cmichelleramsey.com