Chelle Ramsey's Blog, page 46

CAN YOU STAND THE RAIN? MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY MOMENT

http://www.themagazineclubng.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/happy-black-couple-Fotolia_38376118_S.jpg "Good relationships are not just about the good times you share; they’re also about the obstacles you go through together, and the fact that you still say “I love you” in the end." - Unknown

All relationships go through their "honeymoon" period and all relationships sink down to the valley. We all love those mountain highs in the relationships, where we can enjoy the beauty of everything. But what happens when we slip down into our valley lows?
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GIRL TALK_SEX: REAL TALK OR TABOO?

http://www.4lah.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/group-of-african-american-women.jpgThe years come and go and with them so do the girlfriends. The girlfriends that were in my clique in my teens were not the same ones I hung out with in my twenties. Those that I ran around with in my twenties were not in my social circle in my thirties. Now in my forties a couple of them have crossed over into this new area of life with me, and I'm satisfied with that. I was never the female that hung around many females, one to two were the norm, but definitely no more than three.

Through the years the topics of discussion have changed only slightly. One thing has not changed though...the hot topics that we discussed through the years. From boyfriends, to relationships, to marriage, the dominant topic was, is and will be...MEN! Of course they keep our blood pumping, get us heated, angry, passionate, loving, and confused. And they make us oh so hot and bothered! But at the end of the day, we still want, desire, and love them.

One of those topics that some call taboo is the sex life.

http://ioneelev8.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/shhh24.jpg TABOO OR NOT:

P.E.P. (personal equipment plan) - Mama always said be careful about what you share, because sometimes they might get jealous and want what you have. My thoughts on that? As a young lady for some reason it was important to discuss size, frequency, and stamina. As a married woman my girls and me still discuss sex and what gets us going. I especially love book club meetings where the book content gets us heated up. But truthfully...I don't discuss the size of my husband's penis the way that I would have done a boyfriend when I was in my early 20's. Not because I'm a prude or anything, trust me with the stuff that I talk about that would be the last thing anyone would call me. I just don't have a purpose for it anymore. But there are other topics that go on the board between me and my girls. Shhh...he just might be reading this.Income- I don't mind discussing issues surrounding money...but the exact amount of my salary or my husband's is not open for discussion. What can it possibly add to our friendship or discussion?Arguments - I am more likely to talk about the subject of an argument between me and my spouse with my girlfriends than I will with my family members. I want to seek their opinion and the beautiful thing is they know they can tell me the truth even if it doesn't agree with my view. Family members just sit back and judge and add nothing for growth or substance. My girls are usually pointing out where I am wrong, or how I could look at it from a different perspective. Some of the arguments are commonplace among relationships, whereas others are unique to your experience and history.Family Dirty Laundry - I have no problem talking with my closest, long time girlfriends about the issues that my family goes through. Sometimes it helps them to realize their families aren't the only insane ones that need to have their own reality show. While it can be embarrassing to think about the things that goes on in our families, it can make for great laughs...especially when you've had a drink or two in you.
I did a little survey among some of the ladies in my online and offline circles regarding what they would or wouldn't discuss with their girlfriends. In a nutshell here's what they said on the topic of sex...

WHAT LADIES SAID ABOUT SEX BEING A TABOO SUBJECT WITH THEIR GIRLS:

"It depends on the friend. Some of them you can tell anything and others you must exercise caution to avoid offending them."

"Nothing is off limits with my girls."

"No topics are taboo...they are off the chain."

"Nothing is restricted!"

"Some topics are okay, but I don't discuss too much of my intimate life with my girls because that's personal."

"I think topics such as motherhood, fashion, career are open with your girlfriends but topics dealing with your boyfriend/ husband/significant other may be off limits due to the sneaky ho...you know the rest & the judgments."

"I think I share about everything with my closest friends!"

"They might know more than my husband!"

"There are certain things I tell different friends. I myself don't have any taboos but everyone is not comfortable with every topic."

"I am open. If you are a trusted friend, nothing is TMI including, welllll u know."


What are your views on whether or not sex is a taboo subject with your girlfriends? How far in will you go with them?   If you enjoyed this post, I encourage you to share it with others by clicking the social media icon below. Thanks for dropping in and as always please leave a comment, because I just love chatting with you. You can link up with me online using the icons above.

Come check out my books, and learn more about the woman behind the blog at my website www.cmichelleramsey.com . Until the next time I'm just...
Writing My Dreamsby: Chelle Ramsey www.cmichelleramsey.com

THROWBACK THURSDAY_1963

My Mother Frieda in 1963. First Grade.
Today's #throwbackthursday is a year way before my time, because I love history. I oftentimes wonder what life was like for my parents, grandparents and other family members in the 60's.

A time when life seemed to move slower, family was closer, and integrity meant something. But they had their own share of burdens that we have not had to go through. They endured more heartache, suffered more trials, and made more sacrifices than I could ever begin to understand. In the year of 1963 my mom was a little girl and although times were difficult for people of my race then, in some ways life was also simpler: family meant everything and people stood for their beliefs and values.







http://abahouston.org/newsletters/july2012/family2a.jpg

  TOP 10 SONGS:

https://c1.staticflickr.com/5/4094/4738843773_00a6a78727.jpg
1. Sugar Shack, Jimmy Gilmer and The Fireballs
1. Surfin' U.S.A., The Beach Boys3. The End of the World, Skeeter Davis4. Rhythm of the Rain, The Cascades5. He's So Fine, The Chiffons6. Blue Velvet, Bobby Vinton7. Hey Paula, Paul and Paula8. Fingertips, Pt. 2, Little Stevie Wonder9. Washington Square, Village Stompers10. It's All Right, The Impressions



HISTORY YEAR IN REVIEW:


France and West Germany sign treaty of cooperation ending four centuries of conflict on Jan. 22nd.Beatles release their 1st single in US "Please Please Me" on February 25.Soap operas "General Hospital" & "Doctors" premier on TV on April 1.US President JFK signs law for equal pay for equal work for men & women on June 10.Gov Wallace tries to prevent blacks registering at University of Alabama on June 11.Supreme Court rules against Bible reading/prayer in public schools on June 17.3,000 blacks boycott Boston public school on June 18. On June 22nd "Little" Stevie Wonder (13) releases "Fingertips". James Meredith becomes 1st black graduate from U of Mississippi on August 18th.W.E.B. Dubois dies on August 27, 1963.Martin Luther King Jr. delivers his "I have a dream speech" addressing civil rights march at Lincoln Memorial, Washington DC on August 28th. September 10th 20 black students entered public schools in Alabama.Church bombed in Birmingham AL, kills 4 African-American girls on September 15th. 225,000 students boycot Chicago schools in Freedom Day protest on October 22nd.November 16th Touch-tone telephone introduced.President Kennedy shot and killed in Dallas, Tex. Lyndon B. Johnson becomes President same day (Nov. 22). Lee Harvey Oswald, accused Kennedy assassin, is shot and killed by Jack Ruby (Nov. 24).   SPORTS:

World Series Champs: LA Dodgers

NBA Champs: Boston Celtics

NFL Champions: Chicago Bears
http://www.the60sofficialsite.com/images/The%20Chiffons.jpg

If you enjoyed this post, I encourage you to share it with others by clicking the social media icon below. Thanks for dropping in and as always please leave a comment, because I just love chatting with you. You can link up with me online using the icons above.

Come check out my books, and learn more about the woman behind the blog at my website www.cmichelleramsey.com . Until the next time I'm just... Writing My Dreamsby: Chelle Ramsey www.cmichelleramsey.com

SPARKS BEGINS TO FLY WHEN THE DRAMA HEATS UP_WRITER WEDNESDAY

It only takes one word to spark the flames when situations are already intense. And this is no more true than in a beauty salon full of women. On today's Writer Wednesday we're taking the drama to the beauty salon. There are more things heating up than just the dryers, curling irons, and flat irons. When the conversation heats up, so does the drama. Here's an excerpt from BeJeweled: The Flight of an Angel.
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EMBRACING YOUR DESTINY_MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY MOMENT

“A year from now you will wish you had started today.” -Karen Lamb

I love, love, love, this quote! Because it is the epitome of how I have felt on several occasions. I often reflect on this feeling when I think about my writing; all the years I spent scared of rejection, hiding my stories away in the closet, and refusing to try to become published. So often I tell myself I could have been much further along if I had just started "when." "When" is defined as some time over a decade ago.

I cannot turn back the hands of time and do things differently. The only thing that I can do is start from today. The most important thing that I can do is encourage you to start on your dreams today, and not give in to the spirit of fear. It only serves to paralyze and hinder you from pursuing your goals and dreams.

Regardless of whether you believe you have the resources, or the time, don't put off for tomorrow what can be done today. Tomorrow isn't promised to anyone and all you have is today to give the best that you can. Whether it's writing the first word of the story, painting the first stroke of a brush, strumming the first string of the guitar, or enrolling in that first college course, whatever your dream is, just do it.

Those steps may seem small and insignificant right now; however, when you reflect on it a year from now you'll be proud of the progress you have made. You will realize that you have learned more, grown more, and done more in the last year than you initially thought. Why? Because once you get the ball rolling, you won't want to stop. The road to pursuing your goals or dreams is a very fulfilling and rewarding one.

Start now. Best wishes!

If you enjoyed this post, I encourage you to share it with others by clicking the social media icon below. Thanks for dropping in and as always please leave a comment, because I just love chatting with you. You can link up with me online using the icons above.

Come check out my books, and learn more about the woman behind the blog at my website www.cmichelleramsey.com . Until the next time I'm just... Writing My Dreamsby: Chelle Ramsey www.cmichelleramsey.com

JUST ANOTHER #WRITERWEDNESDAY_AN INTERVIEW WITH A SALON OWNER

Today's #writerwednesday brings a character interview with Olivia the owner of The House of BeJeweled. There have been quite a few things that have happened since book one and with the impending release of book two she's here to address some questions.

ME: Olivia welcome to my blog, Writing My Dreams. I'm so glad you had a moment to drop by today. So I'm going to dive right into the heart of the matter. Your story is touching and inspiring in the sense of how you overcome challenges tossed your way. According to the reviews, readers admired how you made a strong stand for your vow to God, even at the risk of losing the man you had loved for 20 years. What was that all about? And girlfriend were you really ready to give the man up if necessary?

OLIVIA: (she laughs out loud). Well first thanks for having me, and wow, you really did dive right into the thick of things. Okay, where to start...well, the stand that I was making was because God is my first and my everything. He is more faithful than man can ever be, and He never changes. So how can I not honor my commitment to Him when He's already honored it to me, by keeping me. Even when things got heated, He kept me. And while I have dated during the last 20 years of knowing Raymond, yes I was ready to continue in my life without him if he didn't honor my vow as well. I mean the way that I see it, at my age it's no longer time to play games. I am a grown woman who knows what I want in this life. And any man that wants to share this life with me will understand and respect every facet of my life. If he doesn't ladies...keep it moving to the next one. God will surely send your Boaz along.

ME: (I laugh at her comment) Is he your Boaz, Olivia?

OLIVIA: He surely is. He's a real good man, but I'm a good woman, too. So we have the best of both worlds.

ME: Well I'm glad that you are both blessed with each other. But you seemed to have your hands full for a while there. With your work you were doing on the business expansion, trying to build a relationship with Raymond, and the drama in the shop escalating to the point of a volcanic eruption, how did you manage to keep your head?

OLIVIA: Whew!!! That was faith in God, and my mama watching over me from Heaven above. I also learned that Raymond and his Aunt Bea was praying me through that time as well. Prayers truly wok.

ME: Do you regret the choices you had to make concerning Angel and Kianna?

OLIVIA: At first I did because I was emotionally caught up in their personal lives and I didn't want to make a decision that would have a negative impact on them. But they both chose to make a decision that would have a negative impact on my shop without a second thought about how I would feel about it, and if me and the other staff could recover from their choices. With the changes that I implemented it has definitely created a new environment for us to work in. I had to work through how I felt abut my decision because I carried a lot of guilt around for some time.

ME: Yes you did, and as readers will see in book two that guilt touched you and Raymond's relationship deeply. Why was that?

OLIVIA: Because it tested what is at the heart of every relationship...trust. And at the end of the day I had to really consider whether or not I trusted him. I had to re-evaluate my choices. And that's a difficult thing for a strong, independent woman.

ME: I hear you. Some people had difficulty reading the content in the book based on Black's language. How did you feel about that?

OLIVIA: Everyone is entitled to their opinions. I personally don't care for his language either, or the way some of my staff carry on with their antics, such as Tyrone. But I understand everyone is an individual at the end of the day and they have to make their choices. I live in a realistic world where people are not perfect. Everyone does not have a relationship with Jesus. But it's our role as Christians to take our light into their darkened world. After all Jesus went to Zacchaeus, Mary Magdalene, and the woman in John 8 caught in adultery who was about to be stoned. Not to mention His disciples and a host of others He ministered to. He didn't look down on them but rather forgave and enlightened them. In this world we are surrounded with and come into contact daily with people like Black. We don't live in a perfect world filled with humans. We live in a world that are full of flawed people like you and me. Black's just confused and needs that guidance.

ME: I like that. You know...how you refrain from judging anyone.

OLIVIA: Well it's not my place. We all sin and fall short of His glory and I'm sure there are things people could point to about me if they chose to.

ME: By the end of book one Angel seems to have grown through her ordeals and by book two we see hints of that growth as well, but there's another staff member who is going through issues of her own.

OLIVIA: Ah yes, Nikki. She like many women today, was never taught how to love herself. And as a result she makes choices that are not in her best interest. You could even say she punishes herself. But I felt quite bad because I was so involved with opening the second shop and getting that staff up and going that I missed many warning signs with Nikki. I wasn't able to be there for her like I would have liked to.

ME: Well there does come a pivotal point in the story where you are there for her. But she chooses to go back into the flames. How could you have helped her there?

OLIVIA: Chelle, I'm not so sure that I could have to be honest with you. Although her situation was very dangerous, I believe she had to go through her journey to become the woman she was designed to be. Truth be told, her story does not end in book two. Her true growth will not be seen until the third book. Her story is a delicate one, but it's necessary to be told. There are so many victims out there of domestic violence who are hiding it, or are in denial. And if Nikki's story can change one life, touch one soul, or save one woman or man who is a victim of it, then it's worth telling. The unfortunate part is that one of my staff members becomes intertwined with her saga. But sometimes you cannot tell people anything. They have to go to hell and come back before they believe that it's hot there.

ME: Wow! I like that, Ms. Olivia! And now you and Raymond have a bit of drama of your own in the second book.

OLIVIA: Yes we do. If you recall from book one he's recently divorced and has two children by his ex-wife. Their marriage ended in a scandal and he's still carrying some of that baggage and his children have been affected by the drama. There's no way for me to completely escape some of the mud being tossed around.

ME: It sounds like book two will be just as hot and drama filled as book one. Tell me this...will we see more of Tyrone and the B.A.D duo of Belinda and Darla?

OLIVIA: Of course they will be there, but not as much as they were in book one. I have a feeling they will be back in full affect in book three.

ME: Well that's great to hear! Thank you so much for stopping by today to catch us up with what's been going on since book one and getting us prepared for book two. Make sure you stop by again before the release.

OLIVIA: I will Chelle, I definitely will. And thank you so much for having me.

ME: It's been my pleasure Ms. Olivia. Readers you heard it right here book two is coming soon. If you haven't had a chance to read the first book in the series you can check it out here. And you just might want to stop by for a visit and get your hair cut or colored at BeJeweled, where the scissors are sharp, but the tongues are sharper.

AVAILABLE IN PAPERBACK AND eBOOK


If you enjoyed this post, I encourage you to share it with others by clicking the social media icon below. Thanks for dropping in and as always please leave a comment, because I just love chatting with you. You can link up with me online using the icons above.

Come check out my books, and learn more about the woman behind the blog at my website www.cmichelleramsey.com . Until the next time I'm just... Writing My Dreamsby: Chelle Ramsey www.cmichelleramsey.com

A RASH OF CHILDREN BEING ABANDONED IN HOT CARS_THE EXCEPTION OR THE NORM?

The news has been flooded with reports recently of children being left in cars. In two instances, the children involved were an infant and toddler who died.

The first report was here in Atlanta, Georgia and the father, Justin Ross Harris was arrested and charged with murder and child cruelty charges. The news has been rampant with reports of how the father researched a child being left in a hot car and what it would take for a child to die in a hot car, and so forth.

The second report was in Wichita, KS where a 10-month old little girl was left in a hot car by her foster father and died after two hours. In that case the father had returned home after picking the little girl up, gotten another child out of the car, and left the infant inside the car while they went into the house. Apparently he and his partner saw something on TV two hours later that triggered his memory of the baby still in the car. He was arrested as well.

Last night there was another arrest here in Atlanta, where a mother left her four children, ages 6, 4, 2, & 1 in a hot car while she went into the store. The doors were locked and the windows rolled up. The mother was arrested on four counts of child cruelty and given an $8,000 bond, which she has not been able to post at this time.

It saddens my heart to hear of such incidents happening to our babies all across the nation. I cannot begin to imagine, or even want to imagine the suffering they go through in those hours of being locked up in that heat. I think about how miserable I become when I simply get overheated at times because of not being in the air conditioner.

After seeing the report this led my husband to pose the question to me, how old would kids have to be for me to be comfortable leaving them in the car to run in a store. Then he brought back to my attention how as children we were quite often left in cars during the 70's and 80's, while our parents went into the stores. During those times it was the norm rather than the exception. Car manufacturers even made safety precautions (e.g., child safety locks, steering wheel locks, prevention from knocking the car out of gear, etc.) because of instances such as these. However, now it is the exception rather than the norm. The world has changed so much since then.

I have never left them in the car for any extended period of time. I have only left my children in the car if I was going into the gas station to pay for gas and that  has been seldom. But even that hasn't been until these later years now that they are teenagers.

I never felt comfortable leaving them alone, and even now as teenagers they still go into the store with me.

My discomfort does not stem simply from the heat, but also from the times that we live in. Born and raised here in Atlanta, I recall the Atlanta child murders, carjackings, kidnappings and so much more. Because of the fear that I have about such incidents, I keep my children with me at all times when we're out and about. Call me an overprotective mother, or just scary, but that's just me. I don't judge others for having a varied opinion about this, I just have to go with what is most comfortable to me.

How old do you believe is old enough to leave the children in the car alone?

If you enjoyed this post, I encourage you to share it with others by clicking the social media icon below. Thanks for dropping in and as always please leave a comment, because I just love chatting with you. You can link up with me online using the icons above.

Come check out my books, and learn more about the woman behind the blog at my website www.cmichelleramsey.com . Until the next time I'm just... Writing My Dreamsby: Chelle Ramsey www.cmichelleramsey.com

STEPPING BEYOND THE MUNDANE_MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY MOMENT

To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong. ~Anonymous


This quote really resonates with me because I am often steeped in fear when I have an idea that I want to try out. Whether it's an idea for this blog, or a storyline for one of my books I become hesitant. I worry that I may offend someone, or that the multitude won't agree with my perspective. Hey, that's happened before and one of my followers actually stopped following me because we had a difference of opinion.
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#TBT_2004

It's another #throwbackthursday and today our short journey takes us just around the corner to 2004. It was the year that I would return back home to Atlanta, GA. I had been living in Cincinnati for the last 6 years.


SPORTS & NEWS:

World Series Champs: Boston Red Sox
Super Bowl XXXVIII Champs: New England Patriots
NBA Champions: Detroit Pistons


SCANDALS:
A portion of Janet Jackson's right breast was exposed during the halftime show by Justin Timberlake while they performed his song, Rock Your Body. Old Dirty Bastard, ODB overdosed on painkillers and cocaine. Britney Spears married old high school friend Jason Alexander for almost an entire week."I am a gay American" - James McGreevey, Democrat Governor of New Jersey, proclaimed that he was gay during a confession about an extramarital affair with aide Golan Cipel. The criminal aspect of hiring a non-qualified lover to be in charge of the NJ's homeland security was overshadowed by the sex scandal. TOP 10 BOOKS:

1. My Life - Bill Clinton
2. The 9/11 Commission Report
3. The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands - Dr. Laura Schlessinger
4. The Rule Of Four - Ian Caldwell and Dustin Thomason
5. The Last Juror - John Grisham
6. Eats, Shoots, Leaves - Lynne Truss
7. The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Presents America (The Book) - Daily Show Writers & Jon Stewart
8. The Automatic Millionaire - David Bach
9. He's Just Not That Into You - Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo
10. The South Beach Diet Cookbook - Dr. Arthur Agatston


TOP 10 MOVIES:

1. Shrek 2
2. Spider-Man 2
3. Passion of the Christ
4. Meet the Fockers
5. The Incredibles
6. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
7. The Day After Tomorrow
8. The Bourne Supremacy
9. National Treasure
10. Polar Express

TOP BILLBOARD SONGS OF 2004:

December 13, 2003 - February 13, 2004: Hey Ya! - OutKast
February 14 - February 20: The Way You Move - OutKast featuring Sleepy Brown
February 21 - February 27: Slow Jamz - Twista featuring Kanye West and Jamie Foxx
February 28 - May 21: Yeah! - Usher featuring Lil' Jon and Ludacris
May 22 - July 16:
Burn - Usher
July 17 July 23:
I Believe - Fantasia Barrino
July 24 - August 6:
Confessions Part II - Usher
August 7 - August 20:
Slow Motion - Juvenile featuring Soulja Slim
August 21 - September 10:
Lean Back - The Terror Squad featuring Fat Joe and Remy Martin
September 11 - October 29:
Goodies - Ciara featuring Petey Pablo
October 30 - December 11:
My Boo - Usher and Alicia Keys
December 11 - December 31:
Drop It Like It's Hot - Snoop Dogg featuring Pharrell


If you enjoyed this post, I encourage you to share it with others by clicking the social media icon below. Thanks for dropping in and as always please leave a comment, because I just love chatting with you. You can link up with me online using the icons above.

Come check out my books, and learn more about the woman behind the blog at my website www.cmichelleramsey.com . Until the next time I'm just... Writing My Dreamsby: Chelle Ramsey www.cmichelleramsey.com

WRITER WEDNESDAY_DESIRE MAY LEAD YOU STRAIGHT TO TROUBLE

Today's #writerwednesday brings a sample from one of my earlier books, Is The Grass Really Greener? I have found that in life we often lose a sense of appreciation for what we have been blessed with. We find ourselves comparing our lives to others and wanting to sample a different portion of life.

We question what if my funds looked like this? Or what if my body was shaped like that? Or what if I had done this instead of that? And worse yet, when a woman is in a lonely marriage she may even begin to seek attention elsewhere. Well that's exactly where Davina finds herself as she begins to experience a significant weight loss. And it can only lead to one place...trouble!

Is The Grass Really Greener is a women's fiction story focused on the tale of five best friends struggling with their current life situation. They each are looking for something better in life and as they envy one another, they began to take steps that they may soon regret. Their choices brings their morals into question, they step beyond the boundaries of sanity, and steeped in drama they even create scandals.
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