K.D. Jones's Blog, page 14
May 8, 2013
Joke of the Day
Today's Joke of the Day blog has to do with sex. I love having it, love writing about it, and definitely love laughing about it. Here's the joke:
A drunk guy walks into a bar and walks up to a guy and says, “I just had sex with your mom!” The guy walks away angrily.
A few minutes later the drunk guy comes up to the guy again and says, “I just had great sex with your mom!” The guy walks away angrily.
A few minutes later the drunk guy comes up to him again and says, “I just had the best sex ever with your mom!” The guy now says, “Shut up dad! You’re drunk again!”
Happy Sex!
KD
http://academictips.org/funny-jokes/f...
A drunk guy walks into a bar and walks up to a guy and says, “I just had sex with your mom!” The guy walks away angrily.
A few minutes later the drunk guy comes up to the guy again and says, “I just had great sex with your mom!” The guy walks away angrily.
A few minutes later the drunk guy comes up to him again and says, “I just had the best sex ever with your mom!” The guy now says, “Shut up dad! You’re drunk again!”
Happy Sex!
KD
http://academictips.org/funny-jokes/f...
May 6, 2013
Confession Mondays!
Today is Confession Mondays but I don't really have anything to confess. My fall back plan for when I can't come up with something is to search the internet. Here is what I found.
Fifteen most common white lies and why they are told.
1) It wasn’t me! – Because some things just aren’t worth taking credit for.
2) The table will be ready in 5 minutes. – Because it sounds a lot better than 15 minutes.
3) Oh, yeah. That makes sense. – Because option B involves admitting that I am clueless.
4) Thank you so much! I just love it! – Because telling someone that their gift sucked would make me look like an insensitive jerk.
5) Yeah, you look great in that dress. – Because it’s better than being slapped.
6) Oh, things would have been different if I was there! – Because I’m Superman and I can always make a difference… or at least that’s how I want others to perceive of me.
7) No, officer… I have no idea how fast I was going. – Because claiming ignorance is sometimes better than admitting to insubordination.
8) I’m 29. – Because 29 is like 20 years younger than 30.
9) Yeah, I’ll start working on that ASAP! – Because telling you I have 10 things to do first would just irritate you.
10) Yes, John was with me last night. – Because that’s what friends do… we agree and ask questions later.
11) My resume is 5 pages long for a good reason. – Because I’m darn good at bullshittin’!
12) Man, that sucker was 10 feet long! – Because anything less would be boring.
13) Yeah, I was a badass on my high school football team! – Because I want to be seen by others in an even stronger light than I see myself.
14) I’m 21, 6’5, with a muscular build. – Because you can’t see me in this online chat room… ha ha!
15) I thought I already sent that email out. I’m sure I did. – Because telling you that it was a low priority and I forgot would probably hurt our relationship.
What little white lies have you told?
KD
http://www.marcandangel.com/2007/10/0...
Fifteen most common white lies and why they are told.
1) It wasn’t me! – Because some things just aren’t worth taking credit for.
2) The table will be ready in 5 minutes. – Because it sounds a lot better than 15 minutes.
3) Oh, yeah. That makes sense. – Because option B involves admitting that I am clueless.
4) Thank you so much! I just love it! – Because telling someone that their gift sucked would make me look like an insensitive jerk.
5) Yeah, you look great in that dress. – Because it’s better than being slapped.
6) Oh, things would have been different if I was there! – Because I’m Superman and I can always make a difference… or at least that’s how I want others to perceive of me.
7) No, officer… I have no idea how fast I was going. – Because claiming ignorance is sometimes better than admitting to insubordination.
8) I’m 29. – Because 29 is like 20 years younger than 30.
9) Yeah, I’ll start working on that ASAP! – Because telling you I have 10 things to do first would just irritate you.
10) Yes, John was with me last night. – Because that’s what friends do… we agree and ask questions later.
11) My resume is 5 pages long for a good reason. – Because I’m darn good at bullshittin’!
12) Man, that sucker was 10 feet long! – Because anything less would be boring.
13) Yeah, I was a badass on my high school football team! – Because I want to be seen by others in an even stronger light than I see myself.
14) I’m 21, 6’5, with a muscular build. – Because you can’t see me in this online chat room… ha ha!
15) I thought I already sent that email out. I’m sure I did. – Because telling you that it was a low priority and I forgot would probably hurt our relationship.
What little white lies have you told?
KD
http://www.marcandangel.com/2007/10/0...
May 4, 2013
What I Am Reading.
I am currently reading WOLFE'S SIGHT (Haven's Wolves) by Shelby Lynn. This is the fourth book in the Haven's Wolves series. I am so impressed. I love the special relationships and how they develop. I have not read this series before but now I plan to go back and start from the beginning. Great job Shelby Lynn!
Blurb: Wolfe has always been a Warrior within his
Pack. Until meeting Alpha Haven, he had to hide the fact that he was a
gay wolf within a very strict Pack. He had no doubts the “One” special person meant for him would be a man. Destiny didn’t put together mates who were wrong for each other.
He can’t believe the man before him. When he first finds out just who
Mandy’s friend is he is overjoyed to meet his favorite Author. Wolfe’s
first sight of the man brings about a very different reaction than
expected. For not only is he an amazingly handsome man, he is also
Wolfe’s mate.
Wolfe has already agreed to go out on the first
mission for the Dream Weaver Sanctuary the day he meets his mate. Teddy
decides to go along to get to know his mate better, and learn more
about the Sanctuary they are creating. He is amazed to learn about the
amazing men who have made this possible, and the gifts they possess are
more like characters from one of his books than reality.
The Dream
Weaver Sanctuary has indeed become a reality. Wolfe’s first rescue is
running from an insane Alpha who has kept him imprisoned because he was
"different". Wolfe will find more than he bargained for on this rescue.
The badly beaten man before him is more than a fellow wolf. He is
also their second mate.
Life is never easy for the Dream Weaver
Wolves as they fight their own personal demons. You don’t want to miss
the story of these three incredible men…
Happy Reading!
KD
Blurb: Wolfe has always been a Warrior within his
Pack. Until meeting Alpha Haven, he had to hide the fact that he was a
gay wolf within a very strict Pack. He had no doubts the “One” special person meant for him would be a man. Destiny didn’t put together mates who were wrong for each other.
He can’t believe the man before him. When he first finds out just who
Mandy’s friend is he is overjoyed to meet his favorite Author. Wolfe’s
first sight of the man brings about a very different reaction than
expected. For not only is he an amazingly handsome man, he is also
Wolfe’s mate.
Wolfe has already agreed to go out on the first
mission for the Dream Weaver Sanctuary the day he meets his mate. Teddy
decides to go along to get to know his mate better, and learn more
about the Sanctuary they are creating. He is amazed to learn about the
amazing men who have made this possible, and the gifts they possess are
more like characters from one of his books than reality.
The Dream
Weaver Sanctuary has indeed become a reality. Wolfe’s first rescue is
running from an insane Alpha who has kept him imprisoned because he was
"different". Wolfe will find more than he bargained for on this rescue.
The badly beaten man before him is more than a fellow wolf. He is
also their second mate.
Life is never easy for the Dream Weaver
Wolves as they fight their own personal demons. You don’t want to miss
the story of these three incredible men…
Happy Reading!
KD
May 1, 2013
Joke of the Day
Here's the joke of the day.
Things to do on an Elevator
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask “Got enough air in there?”
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you’re embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: “You’re one of THEM” - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY “I wonder what all these do?” And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: “I have new socks on.”
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: “Is that your beeper?”
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: “This is my personal space.”
14) WHEN there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn’t you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say “Hi Greg, How’s your day been?”
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: “That’s mine!”
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you’re a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don’t exist.
22) CALL out “Group hug” then enforce it.
My own additions:
Burp really loud then say, "Better in than out."Sniff your arm pit and cringe.Do the hokey poky and ask the other occupants to join in.
What's something funny you would suggestion doing in an elevator?
Have a laugh today!
KD
Thanks to: http://www.funny.com/cgi-bin/WebObjec...
Things to do on an Elevator
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask “Got enough air in there?”
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you’re embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: “You’re one of THEM” - and back away slowly
7) SAY -DING at each floor.
8) SAY “I wonder what all these do?” And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: “I have new socks on.”
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: “Is that your beeper?”
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: “This is my personal space.”
14) WHEN there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn’t you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say “Hi Greg, How’s your day been?”
18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: “That’s mine!”
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you’re a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don’t exist.
22) CALL out “Group hug” then enforce it.
My own additions:
Burp really loud then say, "Better in than out."Sniff your arm pit and cringe.Do the hokey poky and ask the other occupants to join in.
What's something funny you would suggestion doing in an elevator?
Have a laugh today!
KD
Thanks to: http://www.funny.com/cgi-bin/WebObjec...
April 29, 2013
Confession Mondays!
This week's Confession Monday is about faking it. Yes, you all know what I am talking about. Almost everyone at one point does it, but no one wants to admit to it. But I will be the first here to own up to it. I didn't reach ___ years of age, have more than one serious relationship, and start a family, without having done this at least once. Sometimes you just have too many things on your mind. Especially once you have children, your mind seems to drift off to what you need to do to get ready for tomorrow. Don't beat yourself up too much. You can always make up for it the next time. Just remember the saying, "Fake it till you make it."
Happy Faking,
KD
Happy Faking,
KD
April 26, 2013
What I am Reading.
Today I have started reading
Shadows of the Moon (Black Wolf Ageny series)
by Jessica Lupo. I am really enjoying it. It is very romantic and the suspense side is thrilling.
Blurb:
Charlie, the leader of Black Wolf Agency is planning to retire and leave his son, Marcus in charge. Marcus knows it will take a lot to fill his father's shoes and is worried he won't fit in with the well-established members of the agency. Where would be better place for Charlie's werewolf son to fit in?
When Marcus arrives for his first day of work at Black Wolf Agency, Yvonne and Lucius confront him with a serious problem. They had rescued a beautiful woman named Selene, who was lying in the street, unconscious. The problem is she was bitten by a werewolf.
Later, the agency is confronted with more problems as they discover that a killer werewolf is on the loose, who turns out to be the same one who bit Selene. Marcus devotes his time protecting Selene, and meanwhile, the couple discovers a unique emotional bond and they begin to fall in love.
Have a great weekend everyone and Happy Reading!
KD
Blurb:
Charlie, the leader of Black Wolf Agency is planning to retire and leave his son, Marcus in charge. Marcus knows it will take a lot to fill his father's shoes and is worried he won't fit in with the well-established members of the agency. Where would be better place for Charlie's werewolf son to fit in?
When Marcus arrives for his first day of work at Black Wolf Agency, Yvonne and Lucius confront him with a serious problem. They had rescued a beautiful woman named Selene, who was lying in the street, unconscious. The problem is she was bitten by a werewolf.
Later, the agency is confronted with more problems as they discover that a killer werewolf is on the loose, who turns out to be the same one who bit Selene. Marcus devotes his time protecting Selene, and meanwhile, the couple discovers a unique emotional bond and they begin to fall in love.
Have a great weekend everyone and Happy Reading!
KD
April 24, 2013
Joke of the Day!
Here is the Joke of the Day!
source: http://www.jokebuddha.com/Alien#ixzz2RQNQ36hB
Make sure you laugh today!
KD
An
alien walked into a shop and told the owner that he came from Mars and
wanted to buy a brain for research.
''How much is this one?'' he asked.
''Well that one is a monkey brain and it's $20,'' he explained.
''How
much is that one?'' he asked
''Well that one is a female brain and its
$100.'' he explained.
''And how much is that one?'' he asked.
''That one
is a male's brain and it is $500'' he explained.
''Why so expensive?''
the alien asked.
"Well it has hardly been used!''
source: http://www.jokebuddha.com/Alien#ixzz2RQNQ36hB
Make sure you laugh today!
KD
April 22, 2013
Confession Mondays!
Yes, I have changed my blog themes again. So here are the new themes. On Mondays I am going to do Confession Mondays, on Wednesdays will be the Joke of the Day (or a funny story), Fridays will be What I am Reading.
For today's Confession Mondays I must start with I missed Church. I wasn't sick and I didn't oversleep. I am sinfully guilty of just not going. Maybe not going to Church led me to my next confession. I stopped at a fast food place and was going to try to get my son to eat one of those cherry/cream cheese pies. So I got two. When he refused to eat his, I ate both of them. The confession here is that, I knew he was not going to eat his before I ordered it and still ordered two anyway. Bad bad bad.
What do you have to confess? (Nothing criminal please)
Sinfully Yours,
KD
For today's Confession Mondays I must start with I missed Church. I wasn't sick and I didn't oversleep. I am sinfully guilty of just not going. Maybe not going to Church led me to my next confession. I stopped at a fast food place and was going to try to get my son to eat one of those cherry/cream cheese pies. So I got two. When he refused to eat his, I ate both of them. The confession here is that, I knew he was not going to eat his before I ordered it and still ordered two anyway. Bad bad bad.
What do you have to confess? (Nothing criminal please)
Sinfully Yours,
KD
April 19, 2013
What I Am Reading.
So for today's post, the book I am currently reading is a New Release called
Perfect Reflection by Jana Leigh and Bryce Evans.
Blurb
When a killer is one the loose, murdering women in two separate cities, Jewel and her partner are forced to travel to New York City to find some answers, the sparks fly in more than one way.
Retten, the Alpha of the NYC Pack, and Lex, his Beta and Captain at the Police Dept, discover the hard-nosed cop who was coming to investigate the murders of young women is their mate—they are thrilled.
When the case becomes personal, the men fight to keep their mate out of the site of a madman who is determined to hurt them all. It is a race against time to discover who the murderer is and keep the women shifters safe from this madman.
I am enjoying it and look forward to reading more from Jana and Bryce.
Happy Reading!
KD
Perfect Reflection by Jana Leigh and Bryce Evans.
Blurb
When a killer is one the loose, murdering women in two separate cities, Jewel and her partner are forced to travel to New York City to find some answers, the sparks fly in more than one way.
Retten, the Alpha of the NYC Pack, and Lex, his Beta and Captain at the Police Dept, discover the hard-nosed cop who was coming to investigate the murders of young women is their mate—they are thrilled.
When the case becomes personal, the men fight to keep their mate out of the site of a madman who is determined to hurt them all. It is a race against time to discover who the murderer is and keep the women shifters safe from this madman.
I am enjoying it and look forward to reading more from Jana and Bryce.
Happy Reading!
KD
April 15, 2013
My Latest Read
I know I know.This is Monday, Joke of the Day. But I really wanted to tell you all about the most recent book I read. [image error]I could not put this book down until I read the whole thing. What drew me in were the relationships. I was absolutely enthralled and didn't want it to end. I can't wait until the next book.
Forever Levi by Shelby Lynn
In Book Two of Forever In Your Arms
Series: They were sworn enemies by their people’s beliefs. Although, Alpha
Prime Ramos and Levi were so much more than just enemies—they were fated mates.
This is their story.
Happy Reading!
KD
Forever Levi by Shelby Lynn
In Book Two of Forever In Your Arms
Series: They were sworn enemies by their people’s beliefs. Although, Alpha
Prime Ramos and Levi were so much more than just enemies—they were fated mates.
This is their story.
Happy Reading!
KD
