Tara Sivec's Blog, page 9

Lasagna in the Highest

So, the kids and I were at church this evening (stop laughing) when my daughter leans over during a singing part and says, "Are they saying 'lasagna in the highest'? Because that's what I'm saying. But that doesn't sound right." No, my dear. That would be HOSANNA in the highest. She obviously hasn't been paying attention during Sunday school. And now I want lasagna. Next weekend we'll be worshiping at St. Pasta of Sicily.

I have a Facebook page now. You should like it: https://www.facebook.com/TaraSivec.au...

Bad Monkey!

I'm busy writing tonight and I just said to my kids, "Mommy is having an un-funny day. This isn't working for me. Give me something that makes me laugh."

My daughter brought me this: http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c38...

This, ladies and gentlemen, is Dave. Davis is a wisecracking, farting, burping, giggling, swearing monkey my brother bought for the kids a few Christmases ago. Ok, he doesn't really swear. At least I don't think so. We lost the directions 17 minutes after he came out of the box. I'm pretty sure Hasbro didn't intend for him to fart and then say "Ah ha ha ha ha you assssshooooooole!" Or maybe they did. Hasbro is funny that way. They invented the freaky screaming monkey that claps cymbals.

Anyhoo, Dave is supposed to give me my funny bone back. But people, look at him.
http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c38...

He's staring at me like he wants to eat my face. I'm pretty sure if I do something to make him mad he's going to fart, call me an a**hole and then chew off my forehead.

So if there is a disturbing chapter in the sequel to Seduction and Snacks that includes flesh-eating monkeys, you can blame it on Dave.
Tara Sivec

Google is the Devil!

I am in the process of writing the sequel to Seduction and Snacks. I just wrote "Elephantitis of the balls" in a sentence. And then I decided to Google it just to see if it was a real thing. And then I clicked on "images". Folks, don't ever do this. EVER. These are things that can never be unseen.

I'm now going to Google puppies and kittens frolicking on rainbows while cuddling with unicorns in the hopes that my soul will be restored to its original, unblackened form.

Have a good day everyone! And may you never, ever fall victim to Elephantitis of the balls. Or be looking over the shoulder of someone Googling it.

Tara Seduction and Snacks

Paperback copy

Seduction and Snacks can now be ordered in paperback here: https://www.createspace.com/3908902

It's also available on the Nook as well as the Kindle.

Thanks everyone!

Nook, Google Play and Paperback

Thank you so much for all of the support for my first book! You guys are wonderful! I'm currently in the process of making the ebook available for Nook users and on Google Play. The paperback should be available for order starting tomorrow. I will keep everyone updated on these processes and let you know when the different formats are ready for purchase.

Thank you again!