Dave Barry's Blog, page 143

GUYS IN ACTION WHILE UNCONSCIOUS

Illinois man charged after shooting himself during dream about burglary

(Thanks to Not My Usual Alias)

THEY CANNOT BE STOPPED

Toyota may have lost at Le Mans because of a squirrel

(Thanks to Asher Scheiner)

AND IN SPORTS

Hunter shoots man in wetsuit looking for balls at Dublin golf club

(Thanks to Paul)

THAT WOULD SCARE IT OUT OF YOU

Australian man sitting on toilet spots big snake atop his shower

(Thanks to MOTW, Matt Filar, Asher Scheiner and Ralph)

YOU KNOW WHO HATCHED THIS PLAN

The Christmas tree in Beverley is still standing because a wood pigeon lives there. The town council was supposed to take the tree down in January, but due to the Wildlife and Countryside Act 1981 it���s illegal to take, damage or destroy the nest of any wild bird while it���s in use or being built.

(Thanks to Ralph)

AND IT'S THE ONLY PLANT IN CANADA THAT'S NOT ON FIRE

68-foot poison ivy plant in Ontario is officially the world's tallest

(Thanks to Ralph)

MEANWHILE ON THE GOBSMACKERY FRONT

Mum 'gobsmacked' at unusual sea creature daughter, 8, is hiding in her freezer

(Thanks to Suzie Q Wacvet)

WE'LL NEVER FORGET WHERE WE WERE WHEN WE HEARD THE AWFUL NEWS

Former Yankees Star Alex Rodriguez Diagnosed with Early-Stage Gum Disease

(Thanks to Maryann, who says "Go Fund Me coming soon")

ASTEROID-MEASUREMENT-UNIT UPDATE

Colossal asteroid the size of 99 narwhals to pass Earth Thursday

(Thanks to Ed. Floden)

Update: Asteroid the size of the Brooklyn Bridge to pass Earth Thursday

(Thanks to The Perts)

(We might have already posted this update. We cannot keep track of these damned asteroids.)

IN FLORIDA, SHE WOULD BE AWARDED TWO LICENSES

Driving test gone wrong: Video of woman crashing into lamp post goes viral

Skip to :40.

(Thanks to EricY)