Lysa TerKeurst's Blog, page 5

Stop Dancing With Dysfunction: 3 Days to Setting Better Boundaries

Do you ever feel like relationships are amazing … until they’re not? I understand this frustration. 

Because the more deeply we are invested in someone, the more their choices affect us — emotionally, physically, mentally and financially. So how do we navigate relationships with those who have hurt us, continue to pull us into dysfunction or who choose destructive behaviors over and over again? 

I created a free 3-day devotional called  “Stop Dancing With Dysfunction: 3 Days to Setting Better Boundaries” to help us figure this out on a practical level. With this resource, you’ll be equipped to:

Overcome your hesitations that boundaries are cruel or impossible by resetting your perspective with three days of Truth-focused devotions.Get honest about the relational hardships holding you back with 12 questions to help you move toward emotional healing now.Begin to see boundaries as a place to find safe freedom in the chaos by embracing what I’ve learned in my own process. 

Sign up to get this devotional delivered to your email for the next 3 days here.

Is it even possible to forgive someone who has never apologized for the pain they’ve caused you? Learn how to move on when the other person refuses to change and never says they’re sorry, with the help of my newest book, Forgiving What You Can’t Forget. Preorder your copy here today and get the first 3 chapters immediately!

The 5 Healing Perspectives You Need For Your Hurt or Heartbreak

Do you ever find yourself replaying and reliving the details of the deep hurt in your life?

I understand. I’ve been there. 

And whether you’ve experienced pain through an event or a collection of hurt that built over time because someone wasn’t who they were supposed to be, didn’t do what they were supposed to do, or didn’t protect you like they should have protected you, your heartbreak deserves a safe place to be processed.

That’s exactly why I created this free resource, The 5 Healing Perspectives You Need For Your Hurt or Heartbreak, just for you. This resource will equip you to:

Unpack five crucial perspective shifts that will empower you to start changing the way you see the most painful parts of your situation.Stop feeling held captive by the hurt by using specific scriptures and reflective questions to help you begin to move forward today.Make progress with relational tensions by understanding how to take the first few steps toward healing your heart.

Click here to download your copy today. 

The Book I Didn’t Want to Write, But Desperately Needed

A million tears.

One thousand hours of study.

Countless days writing.

One heart that didn’t think I could live this message.

And a God that didn’t let me drown in my sorrow or give up.

I’m grateful to finally get to show you the book that wouldn’t let me go and quite honestly helped shift my soul toward healing — Forgiving What You Can’t Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again — releasing on November 17th. 

If you’ve ever struggled to understand why God would ask you to be the one who forgives when you’re the one who has already suffered the most, I understand. And I wrote this message just for you. 

In these pages, I’ll help you:

Learn how to move on when the other person refuses to change and never says they’re sorry.Walk through a step-by-step process to free yourself from the hurt of your past and feel less offended today.Discover what the Bible really says about forgiveness and the peace that comes from living it out right now.Identify what’s stealing trust and vulnerability from your relationships so you can believe there is still good ahead.Disempower the triggers hijacking your emotions by embracing the two necessary parts of forgiveness.

And although it won’t be available for a few more months, you can preorder Forgiving What You Can’t Forget today and start reading the first 3 chapters immediately. You’ll also receive helpful resources you can work through right now and access to a private Facebook group I’m hosting where we can process the hard and holy parts of forgiveness together. 

Preorder your copy here, then click here to redeem your free gifts.

Please know that I wrote this message because I desperately needed this message in my own life. And now that the book is almost here, there’s a part of me that wants to throw a party and invite you all over to my place.

Then there’s another part that wants to go sit somewhere by myself and cry… from relief. From joy. From absolute amazement with our God who knows us and loves us best of all.

I can’t wait to take this journey with you. 

Does Prayer Change God’s Mind?

Have you ever come across an idea or teaching you needed to sit with and process before you could move forward? Yes, me too. Today I’d like to tell you about a recent episode of the Proverbs 31 Ministries Podcast that delivers ideas and a teaching that will do just that. It’s based on a question I’ve had in my own life. 

Recently, I sat down with Joel Muddamalle, my dear friend and Proverbs 31 Ministries Director of Theology, and we recorded this podcast as part of our Consider This series: Does prayer change God’s mind?

In this episode, we talk about how we often think if God answers our prayers in the way we want Him to, it validates He heard us, values and loves us. 

We can easily become attached to preferred outcomes of our own making. But what if prayer is supposed to release us from carrying the weight of the outcomes of our prayers? I hope you’ll listen in as we unpack three truths to bring into our prayer lives and tackle the question: Does prayer change God’s mind? You might be surprised by the answer.

You can access that episode here or in the player above. 

I’d also love to give you a FREE resource we created to help you take what you’re learning from a podcast, devotion, sermon, or book to the next level. Click here to download your copy of “Now What?” A Guide to Process & Apply Biblical Messages — you might want to print off a few copies to have handy, so you can access them easily!

I love that we can go to God’s Word with our deepest questions, and know that His answers are always on-time, trustworthy and good. This conversation helped me so much and I’m praying it speaks to your heart as well! 

This is the relationship help you’ve been looking for

I know what it feels like to stare into the mirror and think to myself, “How did I get here? I thought right now would be different. I thought my relationships would be less complicated. I thought I’d feel more certain and secure. What do I do?”

I vowed to myself, if I ever found my way out of the tunnel of relationship chaos and dysfunction, I would help others.

I so wish we could get together so I could share some things with you… maybe one day. But for now, I recorded some videos with my counselor called: You, Me, & We — stop dancing with dysfunction in your relationships.

When you purchase access to the videos, you’ll receive these four teachings that can be watched on demand until September 30, 2020:

How to Have Better Conversations Signs of Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships Healing from Betrayals Big and Small Learning to Speak Life into Relationships

I’m praying that having access to great counseling wisdom from Jim and honest thoughts from me about my journey, will be an answer to some of your prayers.

Click below for more information. 

LEARN MORE

You aren’t alone. And you will make it through this.

Join Me for She Speaks Online!

That God-given message that’s been stirring in your soul? The one you know you’re supposed to share but haven’t known where to start or how to make progress?

It’s time to take the next step forward, friend. The world needs your voice sharing God’s truth, compassion and love.

That’s why I’m so excited to announce that She Speaks 2020 is now She Speaks Online: A Communicator’s Conference. And it’s happening July 31-August 1!

For over 20 years, along with my team at Proverbs 31 Ministries, I’ve had the opportunity to train thousands of writers, speakers and ministry leaders in North Carolina at She Speaks. And this year, you can access everything you love about She Speaks from right where you are!

We’ve included all the same things you know and love about She Speaks, plus new and exciting elements, like:

Dynamic keynote speakers to give you biblical encouragement to walk out your calling.Opportunities to connect with other women who share your same calling and interests.Exclusive workshops from industry professionals to equip you with the very best insider information for speaking and writing.Behind-the-scenes conversations with our speakers and leaders to help you successfully take your next steps.Plus so much more!

I would love to help you communicate what God has placed on your heart. Will you join me at She Speaks Online? Learn more and reserve your spot here before registration ends on Monday, July 27th at 12:00pm EST.

I Love Doing Life and Studying God’s Word With You

I’ve been dreaming of a new and inviting space for us to gather together online. So… today I get to announce that my dream has become a reality! My team and I have been working to update my website with a beautiful new look, improved functionality and to make it a one-stop shop for the things I’m writing and doing!



You’ll be able to view the new website at www.lysaterkeurst.com when it launches soon!



The new website will give you access to:



* my most recent First 5 teachings, Proverbs 31 Ministries devotions and Proverbs 31 Ministries podcast episodes all in one spot!

* a brand-new shop curated with my books and resources.

* ways you can gather with me at speaking events and in smaller groups at Haven Place, a new center for ministry near my home outside Charlotte, North Carolina.

* announcements about my current projects, opportunities for you to be involved as we learn together and teachings that will help you navigate your relationships with the people around you and your relationship with God.

* parts of my story that will help you work through your own story. Plus, it will give you an inside look at life with my family and ministry.



I can’t wait to see you there!



If you’re subscribed to my current blog posts, your email subscription will automatically transfer over to the new website and you’ll receive updates from the brand-new Lysa’s Latest feature on the site. It will give us a chance to connect on an even deeper level… which I’m really thankful for.



Thank you for your continued friendship, and I look forward to seeing you on the new site soon!

Related posts:

4 Keys to Having Healthier Relationships
Therapy & Theology on the Proverbs 31 Ministries Podcast
10 Things to Help You Emotionally & Spiritually When You’ve Been Diagnosed with Breast Cancer

The Importance of Having Honest Conversations

We all need friends we can trust. Those we can have honest conversations with in the midst of our pain and confusion. People who don’t pull away when things get messy.

If you’ve felt stuck in past hurts, I would love to be that friend for you today.

I understand, deeply and personally, how hard it is when someone does something unchangeable that also feels unforgivable. I’ve cried countless tears and wrestled through so many questions.

That’s why I want to tell you about The Word Alive event. It happened a few days ago, but you can still access it TODAY. It’s a time of worshiping together. Opening up God’s Word together. And I share “5 biggest misconceptions about forgiveness” while telling more of my own story of heartbreak and healing.

You’ll also hear a conversation I had with one of my own dear and trusted friends, Dr. Derwin L. Gray. He let me ask him questions about how we have healthy, biblical conversations about racism right and other positive steps to take. And he did such an amazing job of taking us back to Scripture and offering us much needed wisdom. Honestly, I think it’s a conversation every family needs to listen to.

And because my friends at LifeWay have graciously extended the availability of this event, you can still register for The Word Alive and view the replay at any time until July 13th.

Get your access to watch here.

The Importance of Having Honest Conversations

We all need friends we can trust. Those we can have honest conversations with in the midst of our pain and confusion. People who don’t pull away when things get messy.



If you’ve felt stuck in past hurts, I would love to be that friend for you today.



I understand, deeply and personally, how hard it is when someone does something unchangeable that also feels unforgivable. I’ve cried countless tears and wrestled through so many questions.



That’s why I want to tell you about The Word Alive event. It happened a few days ago, but you can still access it TODAY. It’s a time of worshiping together. Opening up God’s Word together. And I share “5 biggest misconceptions about forgiveness” while telling more of my own story of heartbreak and healing.



You’ll also hear a conversation I had with one of my own dear and trusted friends, Dr. Derwin L. Gray. He let me ask him questions about how we have healthy, biblical conversations about racism right and other positive steps to take. And he did such an amazing job of taking us back to Scripture and offering us much needed wisdom. Honestly, I think it’s a conversation every family needs to listen to.



And because my friends at LifeWay have graciously extended the availability of this event, you can still register for The Word Alive and view the replay at any time until July 13th.



Get your access to watch here.

Related posts:

4 Keys to Having Healthier Relationships
10 Things to Help You Emotionally & Spiritually When You’ve Been Diagnosed with Breast Cancer
If God Really Loved Me …

Finding Peace When We’re Tempted to Panic

“When Daniel knew that the document had been signed, he went to his house where he had windows in his upper chamber open toward Jerusalem. He got down on his knees three times a day and prayed and gave thanks before his God, as he had done previously.” Daniel 6:10 (ESV)



Nothing can throw me into a pit quite like circumstances I can’t control. It’s that place where anxiety threatens to swallow me whole as my mind races through all of the fear-inducing what-ifs and unknowns.



That’s why I’m so thankful for the example set by Daniel in Scripture. Daniel 6:1-15 gives us such a clear picture of what we can do when all that feels safe and secure in our lives begins to come under attack.



In Daniel 6:10, Daniel has just learned that anyone caught praying to someone besides King Darius will be thrown into the lions’ den. Can you imagine the level of fear this edict could have stirred up in Daniel? He easily could have found himself in a pit of despair before he ever came close to that pit full of lions. But Daniel’s reaction is amazing.



Daniel goes home, throws his windows open and prays anyway. I wonder if I could have been so brave?



And do you know what he chose to pray?



“God, save me!”



“God, it’s not fair!”



“God, this is too much!”



“God, smite my enemies and wipe them out!”



No. None of the above.



Daniel 6:10b tells us Daniel spoke prayers of gratitude. “He got down on his knees three times a day and prayed and gave thanks before his God, as he had done previously.”



Since Daniel’s response is so opposite of the way most of us would react, it makes me stop and ponder. And what I discover are three powerful truths I want to both remember and live out.



1) Thankfulness must become a habit.



Our initial responses are usually a by-product of the rituals we’ve established in our life. Since gratitude-filled prayers were Daniel’s reaction, that tells me gratitude and trust in God were front and center in Daniel’s heart. Daniel was able to give thanks, even in the midst of uncontrollable circumstances, because it was a habit he’d already formed in his life.



2) Fighting fear begins the moment we start giving thanks.



Being a thankful person seemed to help Daniel combat fear. Never once does the story mention Daniel trying to hide. He didn’t set about trying to control or manipulate his situation. He simply threw his windows open and prayed where anyone and everyone could see.



This wasn’t Daniel living in denial of his circumstances. This was Daniel turning to God in the midst of his circumstances.



3) We can’t always fix our circumstances, but we can fix our eyes on God.



Daniel’s posture during prayer is revealing. First, we see Daniel was praying toward Jerusalem — a posture based on King Solomon’s words in 1 Kings 8:35-51 during the temple dedication. Daniel knew where his help and his hope came from — it came from God, and God alone.



Daniel’s deep level of trust is also revealed in that he was kneeling as he prayed. Prostration is a sign of both self-awareness and God-awareness. (1 Kings 8:54, Ezra 9:5, Luke 22:41, Acts 7:60) It’s an act of deep humility. We may not always be kneeling when we pray, but we can always choose the posture of Daniel’s heart.



Let’s ask the Lord to help us humbly and gratefully fix our eyes on Him instead of fixating on our problems today. And let’s allow Daniel’s life to be proof to our hearts that the words of Isaiah 26:3 are indeed true: God is able to keep in perfect peace those whose minds are fixed on Him, because they trust in Him.



Father God, I know it is normal for us to sometimes find ourselves in a pit of fear and discouragement. But we don’t have to stay there. Today, we’re choosing to fix our eyes on You. And we’re remembering that each and every thing we verbalize our thankfulness for is like a steppingstone out of the pit we’ve been in. Thank You for providing Your timeless truths that prove to us over and over again how powerfully capable You always are. With You by our side, we have no need to fear. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related posts:

3 Perspectives to Process What We’re Facing Right Now
Alarmed and Resolved at the Very Same Time
Finding Purpose in the Darkness