Lysa TerKeurst's Blog, page 28

The Song My Soul Needs

Sometimes my soul needs a song. And recently, “Last Word” is on my list of favorites. Its message is one that lifts me above what I’m facing and recalibrates me to the reality that Jesus always has the last word.

Today you may be facing a hard circumstance… a diagnosis, a break-up, a financial hardship, a rejection, a loss, or a loved one making choices that seem devastating.

I pray this song and the story behind it blesses you deeply. (For those of you reading this through e-mail, click here to watch the video.)

“Last Word” is from Elevation Church’s new worship CD, “Only King Forever.” Today, I’m giving away copies to 10 commenters who let me know what their favorite worship song is. (To download the album on iTunes, click here.)

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3 Questions You Must Ask Before Reacting

My heart raced as I saw the number pop up on my phone. Nothing in me wanted to have this conversation. I was beyond aggravated. Hurt. Angry. And tired of being misunderstood.

I answered the call with two goals in mind – to prove how right I was and how wrong they were.

How do you think that conversation went?

Not well.

This conflict happened over 5 years ago so the rush of emotion has dissipated and I can see more clearly how wrong my approach was.

I learned from that conflict. Hopefully, I learn something from every conflict – especially how to have better reactions. I’m so far from being in a place where I can shine my halo.

But I’m getting better.

While my initial thoughts when a conflict arises are usually those same old “I’ll show you” thoughts, I’ve progressed by not letting those leak into my reactions.

How?

By asking myself three questions:

1. What part of this issue can I own and apologize for?

There are always two sides to every issue. And no side is perfectly right or all the way wrong.

If I make peace with the part I need to own and apologize for ‘before’ the conversation, there’s a greater chance I’ll stay calm ‘in’ the conversation. Proverbs 15:1 is a verse I’ve memorized and recalled often, “A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

2. How can I soften my heart toward this person so I honor them despite how they react?

Gosh, this one is hard. Really hard. But I know hurt people hurt people.

Usually the person with whom I’m having a conflict has some kind of past or current hurt in their life feeding this issue. Chances are that hurt doesn’t have anything to do with me but is adding to their emotional response in this conflict.

It’s easier to soften my heart if I can sympathize with their hurt I can’t see. If I can duck below my pride, honor will be my reward. Proverbs 29:23 reminds us, “Pride brings a person low, but the lowly in spirit gain honor.”

3. If I knew this conversation was being video taped and then shown to people I greatly respect, how would this change my reaction?

What if I showed up to church this week and my pastor directed everyone to watch the screen for an example of a bad reaction? And then my face appeared. Have. Mercy. I. Would. Surely. Faint. #Call911.

While it is highly unlikely that our conversation would be recorded and viewed, it is very likely others are watching our reaction. Our kids. Our co-workers. Our friends. But here’s the one that really grabs my heart – my Jesus is very much present. Philippians 4:5 reminds us, “Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.”

I know every conflict has variables that must be considered. Some conflicts have escalated to the point where professionals must be called in to help. Be mindful and prayerful about this.

But for the everyday conflicts we all have, these questions are good to consider. If we control our reactions in the short-term, we don’t have to live with ‘reaction regret’ in the long-term.

If you found these 3 questions helpful, my book Unglued digs deeper into managing conflict in a godly way. Leave a comment telling me which question resonated with you the most and you’ll be entered to win 1 of 5 Unglued books I’m giving away today.

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10 Prayers For Your Daughter

There is something I’ve come to realize I need to guard against as a mom. I sometimes want to be God in my kids’ lives.

I want to write their stories.

I want to set the courses of their futures.

I want to determine what’s best for them.

I want to prevent them from ever being hurt.

I want to be their provider and protector.

And I want to be the one to set anyone straight who messes with my kids.

Can you relate on any level? I think most moms can. We love these people entrusted to us more than we ever knew possible. And despite all the infant sleepless nights, toddler tantrums, tween eye rolling, and the teen decisions that break our heart slap in two… they are ours. To love. To lead. To launch.

And we want to make it all good.

But then things happen so beyond our control we eventually have to face the reality that we aren’t God. And we can’t operate like we are.

So what do we do with that gap where our mommy capabilities end and trusting God begins? I want to trust God with everything beyond my control with my kids but it’s so scary. It feels so risky.

And scary and risky are two words us moms don’t want as part of our kids’ lives.

So, how do we deepen our trust in God? How do we make peace with the limits of what we can and cannot protect them from? What do we do with the risky and scary feelings that can make a mom lose sleep at best and feel crazed with fear at worst?

We must fill that gap with the only thing that bridges the space between our limitations and our trust in God… prayer.

I know, I know – that can sound like such a cliché Christian answer. Typical. Too hyper-spiritual. Not the answer we want sometimes.

But prayer is the only possibility with real possibility.

Earlier this week my friend, Brooke McGlothlin, wrote an article I posted on Scriptural prayers for boys. Today, I want to post some specific Scriptural prayers for our girls.

I’ve prayed these and I’ve seen amazingly powerful things happen in the lives of my daughters.

I can still fret and worry and want to mess with anyone who messes with my girls.

My girls still make mistakes, and cross lines, and give the principal reasons to call me.

But where would we all be if the power of prayer wasn’t in the mix of our lives?

And what might these prayers be working out for their futures that I won’t see for years to come?

Yes, prayer is the only possibility with real possibility. And that brings me to the place where I can finally say… “Hello, my name is Mom. Not God.”

10 Powerful Prayers to Help You Fight for the Heart of Your Daughter:

1. Give my daughter a deep desire to listen to You, Lord, and pray often, “What message does my Lord have for his servant?” (Joshua 5:14b).

2. Let her learn early in life that to obey You, God, is the best way to the life her heart truly desires, (1 Samuel 15:22).

3. May she find comfort in Your ability, God, to reach her, hold her, and rescue her, (2 Samuel 22:17-18).

4. May she please You, Lord, by desiring, asking for, and utilizing a discerning heart full of wisdom, (1 Kings 3:9-12).

5. Let her find confidence in You, God, even when hard times come and she doesn’t know what to do, by keeping her eyes fixed on You, (2 Chronicles 20:12).

6. Give her a great desire to accept Your word, God, and store up Your commands within her so her ears will turn to Your wisdom, (Proverbs 2:1-2).

7. May she keep herself under control and not give full vent to people and situations that anger her, (Proverbs 29:11).

8. Give her the ability to rise above the traps of people pleasing so she can be kept safe by trusting You, Lord, (Proverbs 29:25).

9. Let her walk in the security of Your assigned worth to her. Give her a strong work ethic and health to accomplish all her tasks. Give her a heart that desires to extend her hand to those in need. Protect her for the right husband, a man of respect and godly honor. And let her be a woman of joy and laughter whose Christ-centered character is what makes her most beautiful, (Proverbs chapter 31).

10. And every time you, Jesus, whisper, “Follow me” she does so with great grace, (Matthew 4:19).

Today, I’m giving five commenting blog friends a copy of the book I wrote with my daughter, What Happens When Young Women Say Yes to God. To enter, leave a comment below.

(For “10 Powerful Prayers to Help You Fight for the Heart of Your Son” click here.)

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10 Prayers For Your Son

Last week I wrote about prayers for your marriage. There was such a response, I decided this week to have my friend Brooke McGlothlin write a guest post on 10 prayers for your son. (On Friday I’ll be posting 10 prayers for your daughter.)

Here’s my friend, Brooke…

He looks at me with a “heels dug in” kind of glare. I know if I said, “the sky is blue on a sunny day” he would try to prove me wrong.

Sometimes, I don’t feel like we’re on the same team anymore, my son and I, and it breaks my heart.

On days like today, when he’s arguing with everything I say and trying his eight-year-old best to do things his way, it seems I’m fighting against him—like there’s a war going on in my house between me and my son, and a distance between us I want to bridge no matter the cost.

I know from my education that this process of differentiation is pretty normal. Boys ache for independence from mama, and feel ready to “boldly go where no man has gone before.” They want to be strong, assert their opinions, and explore their own ideas. Unfortunately, at the McGlothlin Home for Boys, we’re living in the in-between season— where ideas abound before they are mature enough to handle the responsibilities that go along with those ideas.

And so we butt heads.

Sometimes, I’m tempted to let our circumstances tell me my son is the enemy—he’s the one I’m fighting. But then I remember…

“For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” Ephesians 6:12 ESV

When the days of mothering grow long, and make a girl weary, and when what you really want to do is lock your son up in his room and throw away the key, it’s good to remember this:

He’s not your enemy. But there is an enemy.

That’s right, our sons have a real enemy—one that wants to kill, steal and destroy them (John 10:10)—but that enemy, according to the Word of God, has an opponent himself that’s a force to be reckoned with.

You.

Me. Any mother who’s willing to get on her knees and cry out for the heart of her son.

James 5:16 says, “the prayer of a person living right with God is something powerful to be reckoned with” (The Message).

The best way a mom can enter the battle for the heart of her son is on her knees, so let’s start fighting for him right now.

10 Powerful Prayers to Help You Fight for the Heart of Your Son

1. Create in my son a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within him (Psalm 51:10).

2. May my son walk after You, God, and fear You and keep Your commandments and obey Your voice. May he serve You and hold fast to You (Deuteronomy 13:4).

3. May my son be strong and courageous and not fear or be in dread, for it is You, Lord, our God, who goes with him. You will never leave him or forsake him (Deuteronomy 31:6).

4. May my son walk before You, God, as King David walked, with integrity of heart and uprightness, doing according to all that You have commanded him and keeping Your statutes and rules (1 Kings 9:4).

5. Like Timothy, may my son be an example to believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity (1 Timothy 4:12).

6. May my son listen to the way of wisdom and be led in the paths of uprightness (Proverbs 
4:11).

7. Lord, be with my son in trouble; rescue him and honor him (Psalm 91:5).

8. May my son honor his father and mother… (Ephesians 6:2).

9. May my son have love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith (1 Timothy 1:5).

10. May my son think on whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is commendable; if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, may he think about these things (Philippians 4:8).

———————-

Thank you, Brooke, for this beautiful list of Scriptural prayers!

Brooke McGlothlin has a new book called Praying for Boys: Asking God for the Things They Need Most. It’s an insightful and much needed book for all moms of boys. Click here for more details.

And today, Brooke is giving away 5 copies of Praying for Boys! To win, leave a comment below telling us what prayer you are praying for your son(s).

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6 Healthy Eating Go-To Scripts

It’s mid-January and if you’re anything like me those changes we decided to make that seemed so exciting January 1, don’t feel so thrilling today.

Have you been having any of these thoughts…

Why is this healthy eating thing such a challenge?

Why does this have to be my issue?

Why does the scale insist on revealing my secrets?

Should a Christian woman even worry about getting healthy?

I’ve already blown my healthy eating commitments this month, so I’ll just start next month. Or next year. Or never.

If any of these resonate with you, I can totally relate. I was stuck in such a cycle of defeat over this issue for years. And honestly, if I’m not careful, I can slip right back into a cycle of defeat so easily.

I’ve never craved a carrot stick in my whole life and don’t think I ever will.

That’s why I have to have Biblically-based healthy eating go-to scripts to help me. Maybe you’ll find these helpful as well. They are from my book, Made to Crave – satisfying life’s deepest desires with God not food.

It’s my gut honest look at the reality that God loves me just as I am no matter what the scale says. But He loves me too much to leave me in a state of defeat.

God made me to consume food, but food was never supposed to consume me.

I pray these scripts are as encouraging and helpful to you as they have been for me.

Today we are celebrating a milestone at Proverbs 31 Ministries. Over 30,000 have signed up to participate in our Made to Crave online Bible study. If you are looking for a group of women with whom to journey through the ups and downs of making healthy changes in your life, this is a great one to consider. All you need to do to join is:

* Buy your copy of the Made to Crave book here (or wherever the book is sold.) Or you can borrow it from a friend or check it out from your library.

* Sign up for the online Bible study here. There is no cost to join!

For more information on the book, Made to Crave, visit www.MadetoCrave.org by clicking here.

And if you leave a comment below telling me of a friend you’ll share this post with, I will pick five commenters to send a free copy of Made to Crave to!

If you’re reading this post through your email, click here to leave a comment.

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5 Scriptures to Pray Over Your Marriage

I sat down to write some thoughts for a young friend getting married. I wanted these words to be encouraging but also realistic. I didn’t want to pen the typical “best wishes on your wedding day.” Wishes might be sweet for a church day full of flowers and white tulle but it takes a whole lot more for a marriage to go the distance.

So I wrote honest thoughts as they came to me:

Being married is incredibly difficult. Being married is amazing. Being married can seem impossibly hard. Being married can seem incredibly beautiful. There is no other person that can make me feel as frustrated as my husband can. There is no other person that can make me feel as loved as my husband can.

As these words tumbled out I wondered if my friend would think I was a bit crazy. One minute I painted marriage as blissful as a kite catching wind and rising to the sky. And the next minute as if the string had gotten caught in a thorny bush and sent the kite crashing to the ground with thuds of disappointment.

So which is it? Bliss or disappointment?

It’s a fragile blend of both.

In the end I crumpled up my original note and simply wrote this, “Determine to pray more words over your marriage than you speak about your marriage.” I tucked the note into the white envelope as I tucked that statement into my own heart.

I wrote that note not because it had been true for my relationship but because I suddenly realized I wanted it to be true.

The teacher being taught by her own written out lesson.

And you know what I’ve discovered in the weeks since? I haven’t been praying nearly enough for my marriage.

I think about things. I discuss things. I complain about things. I attempt to fix things. I work on things. I apologize for things. I want to change things. And then I discuss things some more.

But talking about things and thinking about things and working on things… these are not at all the same as praying for them.

In Luke 6:39 Jesus asks a very important but simple question, “Can a blind man lead a blind man? Will they not both fall into a pit?” My husband and I need Jesus leading us, guiding us, teaching us, redirecting us, and showing us how to have a marriage that honors Him and each other.

I want my husband and I to spend a lot less time in the pit this year.

And I think praying more words over my marriage will certainly be key to this. What about you? Below are some lovely Scriptures I’m weaving into my prayers right now.

But, before we end this post, will you commit to doing something with me? Let’s assign ourselves the next step we want to take with getting more intentional in praying for our marriages. If I were you right now, I’d be so tempted to think this would be a good idea but then not take the next step. But thinking about doing this won’t change a thing.

Actually getting intentional about praying for something in my marriage today is the first step toward that marriage I’ve been dreaming of – the one that seemed so possible for Art and me twenty years ago in that church full of flowers and tulle.

Making sure I’m headed in that direction as a wife is only a few intentional prayers away.

Scriptures:

“He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters… You are my lamp, O Lord; the Lord turns my darkness into light,” 2 Samuel 22:17 and 29.

“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone,” Colossians 4:6.

“What shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31.

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms,” Ephesians 6:12.

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful,” Hebrews 10:23.

If you’re seeking more encouragement for your marriage, my book Capture His Heart can help. Dr. Gary Chapman (author of The Five Love Languages) said Capture His Heart is “enjoyable, encouraging, and effective – a book women will read with eagerness.”

Today, I’m giving away 5 copies of Capture His Heart. Leave a comment below telling me what Scripture you’re praying over your marriage.

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But Victory Seems So Far Away

I started out this year with great determination to be victorious in my healthy eating resolutions. But then life happened.

Like when the upstairs toilet clogged and flooded my kitchen ceiling. Or when I got stuck in traffic, yelled at my kids, and missed an important meeting.

Those are the moments when my long-term goals to get healthy don’t feel as important as my need for immediate comfort.

I just want to blow my healthy eating plan out of frustration with something gooey, sweet, and cream laden.

I bet you’ve had something occur this week that doesn’t make you feel very victorious either. A sick child, a missed deadline, tension in a friendship, or a number on the scale that almost made you cry. I understand. But may I encourage you? Even in the midst of trying circumstances and bad days, you can be victorious.

You can be victorious even when the distance between your present reality and your desired goal seems so far apart.

How?

Set mini-goals.

Losing twenty, fifty, one hundred pounds, or more can seem so far away. And faraway goals are hard to hang onto when life drains us and it feels like those French fries sure could fill us.

Set mini-goals physically by getting a strategy for making healthy choices. How can you prepare now to drink eight glasses of water today? What is a healthy snack option you’ll turn to when those afternoon salty and sugary cravings start calling? Are you going out to eat at a restaurant? Use the Internet to look up the nutritional information for their menu so you can make informed healthy choices. If hit with an unexpected temptation today, what healthy go-to script or Bible verse can you arm yourself with in advance to combat justifications and compromises?

Each mini-goal you accomplish today is a moment of victory.

We can also set mini-goals spiritually. We will always be most victorious when we are in the center of God’s will. When we are in God’s will, we are able to see our trials from God’s perspective — through the lens of His grace and truth.

But what is God’s will? The apostle Paul wrote, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks . . . for this is God’s will” (1 Thessalonians 5:16 – 18). This is an explicit description of what God’s will is. To be in the center of God’s will is to be a woman who is joyful, prayerful, and thankful.

Be joyful: Intentionally look around for measures of joy each day. There is joy in simply being alive and in being redeemed by God. Remember, joy is a choice we make, not a feeling we hope to get from our circumstances. It’s good to look for the good, to celebrate it even in small ways. Doing so is a moment of victory.

Be prayerful: Focus your thoughts on God through prayer. When I was tempted with unhealthy choices, it used to trigger a pity party. Now, I turn my temptations into triggers to pray. Turning to God rather than turning to food is a moment of victory.

Be thankful: When I focus on how much weight I still need to lose, it brings me down and I start entertaining thoughts of defeat. However, when I focus on all that I’m gaining with God through this process of losing the weight, it makes me all the more determined to keep going. What is something positive you’ve gained during your weight loss journey so far? God’s activity can be seen much more readily when we focus on what we do have rather than what we don’t have.

We can’t control our circumstances, but we can control our choices. Setting mini-goals physically and spiritually positions us for victory today. Indeed, you can be victorious even when the distance between your present reality and your desired goal seems so far apart.

Today, you can join 15,000+ women who are also claiming victory over their struggles in Proverbs 31 Ministries’ online Bible study of my book, Made to Crave. The study begins January 19th! Click here for more information or to sign up.

Leave a comment below sharing one mini-goal you’re setting in 2014. I’ll pick 5 winners to each receive a signed copy of Made to Crave.

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His Grace Dared To Touch Us

Two thousand years ago, God heard the cries of those who were and those who were to be. At the intersection of our sin and hopelessness God split the heavens open to send our King in the form of a newborn babe.

His divine reached right into the dirt of a stable and proclaimed, “I am.”

His grace dared to touch us. His holiness dared to reach us. His son dared to be with us. And on that one glorious night the cries of this Christ-child awakened HOPE again.

We have hope because we have a Savior. A Savior for our every hurt. Our every flaw. Our every need. Those hard places of life that don’t get captured in the smiling photographs. The times we lose it. The fights still unresolved. The rejection that still stings. And the prayer still unanswered.

In between where we are and where we hope to be, our Savior steps right in and declares, I AM the way, the truth and the life.

May His way, truth and life be illuminated to you and yours like never before this Christmas.

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What Satan Doesn’t Want You To Know Today

I’ve been a little quiet on the blog this fall. Life can sometimes strip the words right out of you. You know what I mean?

When I turned my book in this summer, I had plans to return to the blog with great enthusiasm. But that didn’t happen.

There hasn’t been some big event that prevented me. It’s been more little daily dings that make me want to pull away and get a little quiet. Some days I’d feel a wave of inspiration and rush over to my writing desk. But then a ding would come out of nowhere. So, I stopped the tapping of the keys and closed my computer.

What’s kind of ironic about this whole quiet struggle is that it seems to be the opposite of what I thought this year would be about.

At the end of last year I prayed over a word I would pursue in 2013. My prayer? Growth.

Growth to move forward.

Growth to develop more.

Growth to accomplish new and exciting things.

But here’s what I’ve discovered about growth… it requires dings. It requires a cracking and breaking and a breaking away from what was to form new.

As we move forward, growth may require us to experience a few setbacks.

As we develop more, growth may require us to experience some messy situations.

As we reach for new, growth may require us to address old, unhealthy patterns or attitudes.

Just like a seed has to experience the dings of cracking and breaking so new growth can come forth, I guess my growth requires the same.

Growth comes as a package deal with dings.

I suspect I’m not telling you something you don’t already know. Something you don’t already live.

But I’ve discovered something that maybe you haven’t thought through. Yes, growth may require dings and cracks and breaks. But growth doesn’t require accusation.

That voice that tries to assign debilitating labels to you sees your potential for growth as a threat. The voice of the accuser belongs to Satan. Your growth is part of your testimony. And you know what Satan doesn’t want you to know today?

This verse:

“For the accuser of our brethren has been thrown down, he who accuses them before our God day and night. And they overcame him because of the blood of the Lamb and because of the word of their testimony.” – Revelation 12:10b-11a

Satan doesn’t want you to know how powerful your testimony is. He doesn’t want you to know that your expressions of God-honoring, Jesus-empowering truths subdue and overcome him and his accusations.

Through Proverbs 31 Ministries, I intentionally help people more effectively share their stories, their life lessons, their testimonies. And I’ve made the accuser mad.

Really mad.

Because testimonies are powerful tools against him.

I want to tuck these insights into your heart to encourage you today. But I also want to ask if you might want to help us equip more women to use the power of their testimonies to defeat the accuser.

We want to defeat his strongholds on marriages and kids and churches and every other sphere of influence where a woman lives.

As we approach this year’s end, my husband and I want to once again match the gifts you, my blog friends, give to Proverbs 31 Ministries up to a designated amount that he and I determined through prayer.

That means between now and December 31st, the donations you make will have double the impact in furthering the ministry work of Proverbs 31.

Thank you in advance for any investment you make.

I promise you we will stretch every dollar to have maximum impact in the lives of women and families all around the world.

You can give by clicking here.

So, my year started with a prayer for growth. And it ends with the realization that growth is never easy. It might be full of questions and tears and a quiet pulling back to gather yourself. But from growth powerful testimonies come.

Onward and upward my dear sisters. Onward and upward indeed.

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No More Perfect Moms

My sweet friend, Jill Savage, is rounding out the 4-week series I’m doing to answer a question so many moms are asking…am I messing up my kids? (If you missed any previous posts, simply click the link: week 1, week 2, week 3.) I’m excited to share with you all that God has placed on her heart about the pressure of perfection we sometimes feel as moms. Here’s Jill…

The phone rang in the chaos of the “after school…almost dinner-time” hour. I was making a dinner salad (translated: I poured a bag of lettuce into a pretty glass bowl and threw some cherry tomatoes on for color!), helping two kids with their homework, and trying to keep my 4-year-old busy enough to not whine for dinner.

I grabbed the phone and shoved it between my ear and my shoulder answering with a quick, “Hello, this is Jill!” The voice on the other end of the line was obviously emotional. “Moooooom, this is Erica. Did you forget me?”

I quickly did a head count…one, two, three…four…oh my. Erica’s not here…I thought all my chicks were in the nest, but there was one at basketball practice and it completely slipped my mind that she wasn’t home and I needed to pick her up!

I couldn’t lie. “Erica, I am so sorry!” I apologized. “I completely forgot to pick you up. I will be right there!”

The sniffling on the other end of the phone made my guilt run deeper. How could I forget my own child? What kind of mom does something like that? How will she ever forgive me?

If we’re honest with one another, we all have stories like that to share. There are no perfect moms.

Like most moms, I entered the motherhood scene wanting to be the perfect mom. I read. I prepared. I planned. I dreamed. I determined to be intentional about everything I did from choosing the right kind of laundry detergent that would be best for their skin to choosing the right school that would be best for their education. I was going to be supermom. I would do it all and do it all well. Then life happened.

Someone once said, “Hindsight is 20/20.” Looking back on that scene now, 11 years later, I have a valuable perspective that I didn’t have then. My now 22-year-old daughter isn’t emotionally scarred because I forgot her at basketball practice. She’s a well-adjusted young adult—a mom herself, who has a great story to tell especially when she wants to get a little sympathy or a good laugh at family gatherings.

You know what? My pursuit of being the “perfect mom” set me up for failure from day one. There are no perfect moms; just imperfect women who will fall off the pedestal of their own expectations more often than they care to admit. We’re all subject to what I’ve dubbed the “Perfection Infection.”

A good friend once told me, “Jill, never compare your insides to someone else’s outsides.” She shared that wisdom when she heard me unconsciously compare myself to another mom after one of my many failures. That powerful statement still sticks with me. I now realize that most moms play the comparison game dozens of times every day.

We constantly look to see how we measure up to those around us. For most of us…we don’t measure up. But how can we? We compare ourselves to something that doesn’t exist. We compare our messy insides—our struggles, our failures, our less-than-perfect lives– to other women’s carefully cleaned up, perfect-looking outsides at church, on Facebook, at the library, at work, and just about anywhere we run into another mom. It’s a game we play that we’ll never ever win.

I believe it’s time to stop. Stop the mommy wars. Stop comparing our insides to other moms’ outsides. Stop trying to be perfect. Stop thinking that others are better or better off than we are. We tell our kids to knock it off when their behavior has crossed a line and I believe it’s time that we moms knock it off, too!

God’s Truth confirms this in Galatians 5:26. I personally love how it reads in The Message,

“That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.”

I’m driving a stake in the ground and saying “No more!” Want to join me? You can take a first step by signing the Knock It Off Commitment.

I’m also offering some fun giveaways today! Five commenters will be chosen to win a copy of my book, No More Perfect Moms, and one commenter will be chosen to win two registrations for the Hearts at Home Conference – one for you and one for a friend. (If you don’t happen to live in the conference area, you’ll still receive a Conference-To-Go which includes all aspects of the conference in a CD or MP3 format!)

Together, we can tackle the Perfection Infection and stop making unfair judgments and comparisons that don’t do any of us any good. Think about it: you and I can begin to change the world for our sons and daughters starting today. I’m ready. Are you?

Related posts:

Why Do I Feel That It’s My Fault When My Child Messes Up?
Could I Be The Worst Mom Ever?
Moms: Let’s Make This Pledge