Russell Atkinson's Blog, page 130

BitStrips

Bitstrips is all the rage right now, the latest fad for both iPhones and Android phones. I went to the website to check it out. I was not impressed. First of all, I don’t have a smart phone so I couldn’t use the mobile apps. The website said it could be used with facebook, too, so I clicked that button and that took me to a facebook page and that took me to another page and that took me to another page and finally there was a button that allowed me to actually get started. I began to make my avatar. Skin color? No problemo – I’m a white guy. Head shape? Oops – they only had one, which did not look like mine. Or at least they didn’t have mine on the page I was using. I saw a button for the “pro” version. So they’re trying to sell me something already. Fair enough, I suppose, but I don’t like buying things sight unseen. So that was the end of the experiment. I can upload whatever profile pic I want on facebook now, and more pictures with my posts, so I don’t really see the point. The main Bitstrips.com website is down anyway.

I’ll wait until one of my friends or maybe one of my kids starts using it. I haven’t actually seen any of the cartoons yet, but I doubt they’re going to persuade me to buy the app. I like words, not pictures. My blog is OnWords, not OnPix.

Wordplay

Here’s a nifty little word-by-word palindrome:

You can cage a swallow, can’t you, but you can’t swallow a cage, can you?

And here’s a riddle:

What does a dog do and a man steps in?

PANTS.

Baltimore Todolo

Yesterday I posted a video to YouTube with my guitar arrangement of Baltimore Todolo, a ragtime song by Eubie Blake. Stefan Grossman, one of the world’s best and most prolific ragtime guitarists, has asked me to send him my tablature. Maybe he’ll record it! That would be very satisfying. Here’s the link to the video:

Baltimore Todolo

Speaking

A great many people are afraid of public speaking. Others thrive on it. Being effective at public speaking requires several different skills and attributes. When I say “public speaking” I am referring to more that just standing in front of an audience to deliver a speech. I am also referring to any conversation or monologue that is intended or expected to be heard by strangers or acquaintances other than your close fiends and family. Job interviews or YouTube uploads, for example.

Obviously the content of what you say is important, but so is the way you say it. Use of proper grammar and pronunciation leaves a positive impression, and, more importantly, makes your message much easier to understand. Conversely for bad grammar and mispronunciation. It is also important to avoid that bugaboo of so many people who speak extemporaneously in public, such as TV reporters or courtroom lawyers: the superfluous filler. You know, like “you know” and “like.” (Yes, that’s intentional ). If you watch Washington Week in Review, for example, an unscripted news discussion show on PBS, you will hear print journalists who write beautifully, usually first-timers on the show, fill their speech with “You knows” and “I means,” sounding like illiterate teenagers on a first date. Teens and now even twenty- and thirty-somethings are the main offenders of putting “like” into every sentence. They might say, “She was like so mean and I was like shocked at, like, how no one said anything.” People do this without even being aware of it. Having spent many hours in legal proceedings, I often saw transcripts of my own speech. I was pleased to see that I used full, grammatical sentences free of these distracting mannerisms. Perhaps that’s why I was quite successful in litigation. If you’re not sure whether you do it, record one of your presentations and then play it back later. You may be surprised at how you sound; it could be the audio equivalent of your driver’s license photo.

Other factors that do not always get the attention of commentators in this area is the quality of the voice itself, such as the pitch and the accent. To some extent you are stuck with what voice genes you were born with and where you were born, but it is possible to improve the sound of your voice and lose a regional accent with practice. I’ve had many dear friends from the South over the years, but I confess that I find a southern accent very irritating to hear. Men have a natural advantage in the area of pitch, since lower voices are generally more pleasant to listen to. Women can often sound squeaky or nasal, with a bit of a “quack” sound to their voice. Speaking in an even, moderate pace and at an even volume also helps a great deal in making your speech more appealing. Someone who is excellent in these factors is NBC’s Ann Curry. I happen to think she is one of the worst interviewers on TV and not very bright, but she has a wonderful low-pitched, clear voice and even speaking pace. Another broadcaster I recently listened to impressed me in this regard, as well. Listen to Salini at this podcast: Healing the Soul and see if you don’t agree. Whether or not you find the content to your liking, she speaks in full grammatical sentences in an even, pleasant voice. If you’re a public speaker, you could do well emulating her style.

The Importance of Punctuation (Humor)

So you think punctuation is not important? Read these two messages.

Dear Tom:

I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we’re apart. I can be forever happy–will you let me be yours?

Susan

Dear Tom:

I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people who are not like you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn; for you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we’re apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?

Yours,

Susan

FBI careers

As a retired FBI agent, I am often asked about what it was like in the FBI or how to become an FBI agent. There is too much to say about those topics to answer those questions here, but one of the things I always say is to read up on it. Read books, not just websites or pop culture sources. I often recommend the book FBI by Sanford Ungar. It was published in 1976 and is not avbailable in electronic form, but you may be able to find it in your local library, since it is something of a well-recognized standard. If you have trouble finding it, the subtitle is An Uncensored Look Behind the Walls. Here is my Amazon review:

This book was ground-breaking in its time. While hardly current, it nevertheless provides a thorough and often-entertaining history of the finest law enforcement agency in the world. I bought a copy when it first came out in the 1970s and I still pull it off the shelf and refer to it from time to time, since I now write about the FBI myself. It makes excellent reference material, but it is also very readable. It’s written in a journalistic style, which is unsurprising, since Ungar was a print journalist when he wrote this book. I recommend it.

Political correctness

I mentioned in an earlier post that I dislike what politics does to language. A good example is how we refer to minorities of all types now. The acceptable terms keep changing and if you use the term you grew up using that was considered the polite or correct term at the time, you suddenly are pegged as a racist, homophobe, or something equally deplorable.

A good example is the word crippled. My grandmother, who didn’t have a mean bone in her body, often referred to children stricken with polio – a rather common phenomenon in her youth – as crippled. She didn’t mean it as a put-down. Kids in those days were crippled in every sense of the word. They were often encumbered by clunky wheelchairs or crutches and were unable to participate fully in athletics and most other mainstream activities. I used to attend a YMCA camp in the Santa Cruz Mountains every summer as a child. There was a camp right next to ours run by the Easter Seals organization and it was called the Crippled Children’s Camp. That was its official name. Fortunately, as time went by, afflicted individuals (see how cleverly I avoided using any of “those” words) became more fully integrated into society, and technology improved their ability to participate in a wider range of activities. Polio vaccines have also greatly reduced their numbers (except among the anti-science morons who find their children in iron lungs again these days, but natural selection will deal with them).

Over time the word crippled became politically incorrect and was replaced by disabled, then by handicapped. Then even that became politically incorrect, at least to many, and it has been replaced by “handicapable” or “differently abled.” Give me a break. These concocted monstrosities are inconvenient mouthfuls that convey nothing other than the speaker’s conformity to the political agenda of that interest group. People who can’t walk are crippled. Handicapped, too. There are things they can’t do, jobs they don’t qualify for. That doesn’t mean we should treat them badly or exclude them from full participation in society. Quite the opposite. Let’s just not point an accusatory finger at those who use plain honest words.

I could cite similar examples involving race, sexual orientation, etc., but someone would be bound to take offense. In fact, I have no doubt someone already has. Maybe I’m just a logophobe.

Fatal Dose

It’s here!

Available in Kindle format at Amazon.com here: FATAL DOSE – Kindle

Available in soft cover from CreateSpace here: FATAL DOSE – Soft cover

X-rays can kill cancer cells and save lives when administered properly. They can also kill people when things go wrong – a fact learned the hard way by retired FBI agent Cliff Knowles. Hired to unravel the cause of some mysterious overdoses, he gets too close to the truth and finds his own life on the line.

Inspired by actual cases he worked as an FBI agent in Silicon Valley, the author weaves an absorbing tale of greed, technology, and terrorism in this high-tech legal thriller. After reading Fatal Dose you’ll never look at an X-ray machine the same way.

Fatal Dose follows geocaching FBI agent Cliff Knowles in the third riveting installment of the popular Cliff Knowles Mysteries series.

Grammar Experts

If grammar experts had their way,

We'd have to cut out "leave it lay".

The same, I'm sure they'd all agree,

Would go for "hello, dear, it's me."

Imply, infer, connive, condone

We'd mostly have to leave alone

And only those deemed extra wise

Would be allowed to use comprise.

~Seymour Shlaes

The Next Cliff Knowles Mystery

The third installment in the Cliff Knowles Mysteries series is nearing completion. It’s not available for sale yet, but it’s coming soon. If you want to know the title, you will have to help Stickman:

Stickman reveals the next Cliff Knowles mystery