Jason Brant's Blog, page 40

Gehenna on Barnes and Noble!

Just a quick update to let everyone know that Gehenna is now available for the Nook on Barnes & Noble!  It will be up for sale on Kobo by the end of the day, and iTunes sometime this decade.

Screw You Elle Casey.

Last week I blogged about my upcoming schedule, stating that I planned on releasing four novels by the end of the year.  I'm not sure I'll be able to actually write that much without my head exploding, but I'm going to give the ol' college try.  Now, Elle Casey, being the douchey one-upper that she is, has decided to release her writing schedule for the next year and a half.

Here it is.

Apocalypsis: Book 2, Warpaint (July 2012)Apocalypsis: Book 3, yet-to-be-named (August 2012)Clash of the Otherworlds: Book 1 (September 2012)Clash of the Otherworlds: Book 2 (October 2012)Clash of the Otherworlds: Book 3 (November 2012)My Vampire Fall (November 2012)Reckless (sequel to Wrecked) (December 2012)Desperate Measures Trilogy: Book 2 (December 2012)Desperate Measures Trilogy: Book 3 (January 2013)Unnamed joint project with Jason Brant (February 2013)My Vampire Winter (Feb/March 2013)Melancholia: Book 1 (March 2013)Melancholia: Book 2 (April 2013)Melancholia: Book 3 (May 2013)My Vampire Spring (June 2013)Sea Wenches: Book 1 (June 2013)Sea Wenches: Book 2 (July 2013)Sea Wenches: Book 3 (August 2013)Big Fat Epic Fantasy yet-to-be-named: Vol 1 (October 2013)Big Fat Epic Fantasy yet-to-be-named: Vol 2 (December 2013)Big Fat Epic Fantasy yet-to-be-named: Vols 2-? (2014 sometime)Isn't that some bullshit?  I announce 5 books and a short story, total, and she throws 21 novels in my face.
Damn it.

Brant Rant Time.

This picture has nothing to do with the topic at hand - I just wanted a jheri curl at the top of the post.  You're welcome.  Also, I'm stealing the term "Brant Rant" from author Jack Sheppard, who coined the phrase a month or so ago.  Go buy his book.

If you've talked to me on facebook, through this blog, twitter, whathaveyou, then you'll know that I find most authors, like other artists, to be annoying turds.  Pretension, status, and unfounded arrogance really drive me nuts.  That kind of attitude runs rampant throughout the "arts" and I guess my lowly working class upbringing hasn't allowed me to acclimate to it yet.  Now, I know that there are several other authors who follow this blog, and they don't apply to this post, obviously.  If you read this blog then you are awesome.  Or crazy.  Either way works in my book.

There are a few things that have been irking me that I've seen some fellow authors posting lately, with the first being some of their reluctance to sell off film rights to their work.  The reasoning I've seen is that Hollywood often shits the bed with book adaptations and the authors don't want their work diminished because of it.  The problem with this kind of thinking is that no one is touching the book.  It will still stand on its own merits, and I've never actually known anyone that judged a book by the movie.  Selling the rights is easy money for something that you will put almost zero work into.  The sales of your book will explode if a deal is announced as well.  Now, some authors have said they would only do it if they had creative control over the movie, which is asinine.  You're an author, not a filmmaker, and you know jack shit about the process, audience, and money involved.  You can write a book by yourself and do what you want with it, but making movies requires thousands of people.  Don't delude yourself.

I've seen a couple of authors state that they don't want their books in paperback because used book sellers will harm the perception of their work.  That is beyond moronic.  Seriously, youz a dumb ass.  These same people have probably rented a movie from Netflix, borrowed a book from a library, or purchased something from Craigslist.  That's the same principal and no one thinks less about the book they borrowed because the pages were wrinkled.  This literally makes no sense to me.

You've probably also noticed that I use the word awesome a ridiculous amount around here.  I do that because I've seen several authors spewing venom at people saying it.  Granted, I say awesome in person all of the time, but I've taken its use on the blog to a new level.  I've already gone on record many times about the use of language in the arts, so I won't repeat myself here.

I've actually had the chance to interact with several other authors over the past few months and like quite a few of them very much.  People like Elle Casey (shh, don't tell her), Jack Sheppard, and Amber Sweetapple all write great stuff and don't look down their noses at readers and fans.

That was a pretty meandering post.  In summation, I generally don't like "artists", status is bullshit, and authors need to RELAX.  I wonder if this is why Hemingway stayed drunk 24/7.

In the words of Bill & Ted - be excellent to each other.

Everyone Loves Batman

Like everyone else in America, I've been trying not to poop myself in anticipation for this movie. The Dark Knight is obviously one of the greatest movies of the last decade, if not ever, and the wait for the conclusion of the trilogy has been killing me.  Batman is one of my favorite comic book characters, and I've been reading and following him since I was a wee little douche bag.

Christopher Nolan, the director of this epic trilogy, is one of the greatest working directors in Hollywood.  He's been the genius behind a few fantastic movies you may have seen, including: Inception, The Prestige, Memento, and Insomnia.  If you haven't seen any of these others, then you owe it to yourself to check them out.

The guy has some serious talent.  When I say one of the best working directors, I'm including him in the list with Spielberg, Cameron, and Aronofski.  He's really that good.

Unfortunately, I won't be able to see this movie until Sunday, which means I'm going to be pissy for the next two days as everyone else gets to view this before me.  I will give fair warning though - if this movie doesn't live up to my expectations, I can't be held accountable for my own actions.  The only thing I've looked forward to more than The Dark Knight Rises, was the Avengers.  Fortunately, that kicked all kinds of ass so I didn't have to break any of my possessions.

Anyone have any special plans for seeing it?  Have any weird ass friends that are going to dress up to go to the theater?

Gehenna is FREE For Three Days!

My exclusive period with Amazon is almost up so I'm using my last three promotional days all at once!  This is your chance to grab the first book in West of Hell trilogy for free!  Enjoy.


Grab it at Amazon now!

Upcoming Books

Just a quick update on my release schedule for the rest of the year.  And that's a screenshot from Night of the Living dead, in case you're curious.

I'll be releasing my current work in progress, which is still untitled, in August.  It's a horror novel based around a haunted church in Appalachia being investigated by a paranormal television show.Next I'll be writing two sequels to Gehenna back-to-back.  The trilogy will hopefully be completed by Halloween, which is an insane pace for me, but that's the goal.  I've got a few killer ideas for some zombie madness that I think everyone will enjoy.  The trilogy will be called West of Hell .At some point while I'm working on the Gehenna sequels, I'll also be writing a short story to be included in collection featuring several authors.  The proceeds from that collection will all go to charity.  The story I'm contributing will most likely be a short story based around Ash, and will be a prequel to Echoes.  That could change, but that's the direction I'm heading right now.After completing West of Hell , I'm going to write the much awaited sequel to Echoes titled Reverb .  If Echoes was The Terminator, then Reverb will be T2.With a lot of work and a little luck, I'll finish the Echoes sequel by Christmas.  At the start of the new year, I'll be co-authoring a book with Smelle Casey.  There is no title yet, but we hope to release that in March.So that will be 5 novels and a short story by next March.  That's a lot of writing, and I'm not entirely convinced that I'll hit all of my target dates, but we'll see what happens.

Friday the 13th. Bring on the Horror!

Yeah, today is Friday the 13th, and dumb asses everywhere are hiding under their beds, hoping to survive the day.  But  not you, oh no, you read my blog, therefore you have an IQ of at least 70.  No sir, you are going to watch some horror movies today, right?  No?  Do what I say and go watch a horror movie.

Here's a list of some of my favorites:

The ThingThe ExorcistBlack Christmas - the 1974 versionPsychoDawn of the Dead - both versions are excellent.The ShiningThe Evil DeadJawsParanormal ActivityA Tale of Two Sisters - Korean film.An American Werewolf In London - best werewolf transformation EVER.The Fly - 1986They LiveRosemary's Baby - so much atmosphereRingu - Japanese film.  It was redone in the U.S. as The Ring.ScreamThe Blair Witch ProjectLet the Right One In - Swedish film - totally bad ass.The Changeling - 1980 movie, not the Angelina Jolie one.The Sixth SenseIn The Mouth of MadnessHalloween - 1978HellraiserA Nightmare on Elm Street - 1984The MistInvasion of the Body Snatchers - 1978Silence of the LambsAlien and Aliens - Aliens is more action/horror, but it's the shit.Night of the Living Dead - 1968Ju-On - 2002 Japanese film - scary as hell.The Texas Chainsaw Massacre - 1974PoltergeistThat's a long ass list, but I know I've left out a whole ton of great stuff.  Some of these aren't just my favorite horror films, but in my all time top movies ever.  Hopefully this gives you some ideas of what you should watch tonight.

What am I missing?  I need some new scary movies to watch.
Don't agree with this list?  You suck.

New Author Interview

I was recently interviewed by BellaOnline.com and I added my usual douchery into it.  Below is an excerpt, follow the link to read the rest.

http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art176891.asp

What made you decide to write about zombies in the old west?
I’m a geek. Zombies? Awesome. Cowboys? Awesome. Zombies eating cowboys? Yes, please! The story actually started as a full blown comedy, and it was to be called Zomboys. When I started writing it, the story changed dramatically, and it became a lot darker than I had originally intended. Of course, the humor is still prevalent as I’m not sure I could even write a book without putting some jokes in it, but the zombie action became a lot more sinister and, of course, gross.


How long have you associated the scriptures you quoted in Gehenna with zombies?
My knowledge of the Bible begins and ends with… OK, so it never actually begins. Beyond the obvious Jesus/zombie jokes that have been bouncing around the internet for years, I’d been told that there were other references to the dead rising in the Bible. When I looked them up, I couldn’t believe it. These scriptures are part of what directed the book to take on a more serious tone. I felt that using the Bible as a possible explanation for what was happening in the story brought a bit of weight to it that I hadn’t initially intended. So how long had I associated the scripture with zombies? A few weeks.


What were your thoughts when you first heard about the 'zombie attack' that took place in Miami, Florida?
Finally! My years of preparation would pay off! I really am one of those guys that has a plan for the zombie apocalypse. After hearing that news I told my wife it was time to start oiling up the ol’ shotgun. As crazy as the situation in Florida was, the one that happened in Maryland really caught our attention. The guy that ate his roommate’s heart lived about ten miles from our house. I should probably start stocking canned goods.


Read the rest at:  http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art176891.asp

It's two parts so make sure you go onto the second page.

Even Amazon Loves Hulk Hogan

Amazon just sent me an email with movie recommendations, and boy are they a couple of whoppers.

Suburban Commando. If you haven't seen this movie, then you are really missing out. It's one of those movies that's so bad it makes you want to close your head in a door. Unless you're drinking, then it's just hilarious. I might have to buy this....

Mr. Nanny. If you aren't unconscious from closing your head in the door, this movie will make you jump out the window. Hulk somehow managed to make a movie worse than Suburban Commando, and that movie is Mr. Nanny.

Secret Agent Club. I've never seen this one, but IMDB has it rated worse than the other two, with only a 2.9 out of 10. Ouch.  Just look at the cover of this bad boy:


Holy shit!  Hulk Hogan playing two characters!  An Asian looking building with fucking lasers coming out of it for no apparent reason!  Hulk Hogan is holding a nerf gun!  A bunch of ethnically diverse kids standing between a forest and a cornfield!  I'm buying this right now!

Thanks for having my back Amazon!

Teenagers Are Angels.

I read a review for another author the other day that bitched about the foul language in the book, again.  I've already made my thoughts on this subject very clear, but the reviewer did mention something else that made me laugh out loud.  Literally.

The gist of what she said was that her kids never use the kind of language in that book, and that the author was basically immoral for portraying teenagers as foul mouthed sex addicts.  This person is so far beyond naive that I'm having trouble imagining the kind of bubble that she lives in.  I'm not even going to go into the fact that the sex in this book is so minimal that it almost doesn't exist.
Teenagers don't swear?  What the hell is she talking about?  Kids make up new words to be used in vulgar ways all the time.  I'm willing to bet that this turd is one of those people that says darn, gosh, golly, heck, and any other stupid word substitute that she can think of.  I hate to break it to you, but it's the MEANING of the word that matters, not the actual word itself.  Dumb ass.
Teens don't have sex?  Uh....  I don't even know if this is worth going into.  Seriously.  If you actually believe this, then please proceed to beat yourself in the head because you are a moron.  If you look out your window right now you'll probably see a ninth grade girl dressed like a hooker from an '80's movie.  Put a few teenagers on an island, without any kind of parental supervision, and see what happens.  They won't be playing pat-a-cake, I promise you that.
Is an author immoral for writing about teenagers acting like teenagers?  Only if you live in some kind of warped fantasy world.  Go back to watching TV land and leave the rest of us alone.
I could rant on this gosh darn topic for a long, long time.