Jason Brant's Blog, page 38

Favorite Christmas Movies

Yeah, I'm a little late with with this.  Blah blah, yeah, kiss my ass.  Every year around this time I have a handful of movies that I always try to watch.  Get ready for a whole lot of awesome.


Anything with Bill Fucking Murray (yes, that's his full name) is probably the funniest thing in the history of the universe. Scrooged is hilarious.  It's an old take on a classic tale, but with Bill Fucking Murray (I told you that's his real name) it takes on a new level of amazing.  If you haven't seen this movie, or like Bill Fucking Murray's work.... well, I hate you.


Damn I love It's a Wonderful Life.  It's such a great feel-good film.  I'm a big softie - don't tell anyone.  Jimmy Stewart's hometown is where I went to college - Indiana, PA.  What does that have to do with anything?  It doesn't, I just wanted to put it out there.  It actually blows my mind that this movie bombed upon release, and was shit on by critics, because I think it's one of the greatest films of all time.  That goes to show you that critics are retarded.

In fact, that's exactly what I say to myself when one of my works gets a one star review.


Who doesn't love watching Chevy Chase get the hell beat out of him on Christmas?  Christmas Vacation is a great send up of all the crap that goes wrong when you're setting up for the holidays, dealing with family, hanging lights, wrapping gifts, and trying not to drink yourself stupid.  This came out before Chevy started to make shitty movies, so you have my word that it isn't total garbage.


Bruce Willis shoots assholes in the face. On Christmas.  Die Hard.

The Gate Holiday Sale - $0.99

I wanted to give away a short story I wrote for Christmas, but that will end up being included in an anthology in February.  SOOO, I'm doing a two day discount on The Gate.  This book has never been free or on sale before, and I can't say if it ever will be again.

Get it for $0.99 at Amazon or Barnes and Noble.

Gehenna is FREE on Kobo

Just a quick update.  Gehenna: West of Hell #1 is now FREE on Kobo and can be grabbed here.

Gehenna: West of Hell #1 is FREE

Gehenna (West of Hell #1) is FREE right now on Amazon and iTunes.  Now that I've completed the West of Hell series (here is the complete set (West of Hell Omnibus Edition (West of Hell 1-3)), I'm giving away the first book FREE.  How can you beat a zombie western?  By giving it a biblical twist! Read through the series and let me know how you interpret the ending - I guarantee it's not what you expect.

Sheol (West of Hell #3)

Finally, it's released.  Sheol (West of Hell #3) is available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Smashwords, and with several more to come.  This was supposed to come out last month, but the damn thing kept getting longer and longer.  Now it's roughly the size of Gehenna and Tartarus combines.  I took some interesting chances with this book, particularly the ending, so I'll be curious to hear from all of you.  Here's the blurb:


Sheol is the third and final book in the West of Hell trilogy.

After escaping the decimated town of Gehenna and the mighty Tartarus river, Karen finds herself trapped in a prison in the city of Sheol. Knowing that an army of the dead is marching across the desert behind her, Karen must find a way to escape the sadistic Evans, and rally the citizens of Sheol for one last stand against an enemy of biblical proportions.

Holiday Wishes Anthology

Yeah, that's right, I have another story contribution in another anthology.  Awesomely awesome.

This one comes with a catch though - all of the proceeds from the book sales go to the Make-A-Wish foundation.  If you don't buy this book you hate kids.  I should be a politician.

Even the ULTIMATE DOUCHE OF ALL TIME, Smelle Casey, contributed a story to this collection.  Go buy it.  Now.

Holiday Wishes

Apocalypse Anthology

I am one of eleven authors who contributed a short story to the APOCALYPSE: An Anthology by Authors and Readers book.  All of the authors had to follow a theme and come up with a unique idea.  Here is the blurb on Amazon:

What began as an idea soon set into motion a chain of events which would lead to the next APOCALYPSE...

 I want you to imagine that the world as we know it has ended. Total Apocalypse. You only have yourself and one other person you can rely on. There is no power, no water, and you are armed with only a backpack of supplies. In your backpack there are matches, four bottles of water, enough food to make it three days, and one weapon. Spin a web of survival, danger, and conflict. Tell us why the world as you knew it ended, tell us your fears, make up a world in which nothing is the same and survival is hard, and the world is against you. Tell us what you would do, where you would go, how you would get food and water, how you would protect yourself, and how you would make your life over again. You could even throw in some romance and meet some new people to help you on your journey.

11 authors, 11 different stories, one main idea…welcome to the APOCALYPSE…

Phoenix Jones Whoops Some Ass

I'd heard of this guy before, but never paid it much attention.  Apparently he's a dude who wears a superhero costume and runs around stopping fights and changing people's tires and stuff.  I spent a little time looking him up today and found some interesting stuff.  He's been operating for quite awhile now, which is impressive enough, but he's not just some nerd that puts on a mask.  He's a legit bad ass.  Oh, and I guess other people are doing this same thing around the country, and a lot of them seem to have some kind of weird, uber geek jealousy about him.

Anyway, some drunk dudes are trying to fight him in the video below, and after several minutes of listening to their bullshit, he puts one of them down.  It's totally.fucking.awesome.  For realz.  When they finally square off, and Phoenix Jones starts using some pretty decent footwork and lands a leg kick, you can see the 'oh shit' body language on the guy right away.

Awesome.

By the way, the video looks like it was shot with an orange.

I Heart Beer and Football (but Roger Goodell is a douche)

Oh man, I love me some beer and some football.  I'm not sure what it is about dudes throwing around a weird shaped ball that gets me all amped up, but it does.  And when I'm throwing karate kicks at my TV in the living room, I like to have a good beer nearby (not in my hand though, lest I spill it (yes, I said 'lest')).  DuClaw, pictured above, is a KILLER microbrewery by my house that I frequent more than I should.  They've changed their menu lately, and it now blows, but their beer rocks.  I'm drinking an amazing IPA from them right now, so I apologize if my speeeling goes down heel for the rest of this blog poost.

Anyway, Roger Goodell can kiss my ass.  This guy is ruining football.  I always feel like one of those cantankerous old bastards sitting around a bar, bitching about the good old days, but I think this is legit.  For quite awhile I've been pissing and moaning about how he's destroying the sport, and then the class action lawsuit against them told me why.  They were about to get sued for concussions, so they decided to neuter the sport to try and save some money.  Like everyone else, I'm all for protecting these guys as much as we can within the game, but we can't stop injuries in a violent sport.  The players should be made aware of the dangers of football, and have to deal with any injuries or consequences that came from it.  Coal miners know that profession isn't good for their health, but they weigh the risks and do it anyway.

And here come the boo birds, blah blah, kiss my ass.  I'm not just shitting on the Rog for his pussification of the game, but also for the way he handles the league.  The Patriots get caught cheating and get a really weak slap on the wrist.  The Saints get in trouble for bounties and you'd think they were punching orphans in the face.  If you get fined for an illegal hit, this joker reviews his own ruling if you object.  What the hell sense does that make?  Why doesn't L.A. have a team yet?  The NFL network has football games on Thursday nights instead of Sunday or Monday night... damn it.  What a poopy face.

But my beer numbs some of my anger.  That and I have MMA to help bridge my sports aggression gap that football has stopped filling.  The Tall One and I had started getting into hockey because it's still manly, but they're striking, again, and I want to pull my hair out because of it.  The last strike put hockey back for years, so their solution is to do it again.  Morons.

Now I'm ranting incoherently about all kinds of shit, so I'm going to stop here.  Go Steelers, drink beer, and the Ravens can kiss my ass.

Suck it, Roger Goodell.

Halloween Rocks!

What does this picture have to do with Halloween?  Nothing, but I wanted everyone to see how smokin' The Tall One is.  Yup... I'm totally sucking up right now.



So, Halloween is the shit.  Horror movies, haunted houses, pumpkin beer, and much more awesomeness abounds during this time of year.  The Tall One and I watch a LOT of horror movies all year, but we really ramp it up during the fall.  This year we've been checking out a lot of indie horror films and have found a whole ton of stinkers, and quite a few surprises.  I might have to go through them at some point and make a list of the good ones for everyone.  We really enjoy checking out indie films (just like indie books.  Go me!) because they often takes risks that a studio would never do.

And here's to hoping the new Silent Hill movie doesn't suck....



Last weekend we went to a haunted house that included a crazy clown/circus/maze building that scared the piss out of my wife and our friend.  It also had a haunted hayride that was pretty bad ass and pseudo corn maze.  It wasn't really us being lost in the rows as much as The Tall One and our friend running away from a guy with a chainsaw.  Now that's just good ol' fashioned fun!  I've never seen two women scream so much.

And pumpkin beer.  Oh hell yeah.  How I've missed you.... Microbreweries are some of my favorite things.  If we're driving down the road and I spot a brewery, I'm like a dog sticking my head out the window and slobbering all over the place.

Does anyone have any good pumpkin beer suggestions?