Melissa Snark's Blog: The Snarkology, page 115

Hunger Moon 50% Off on Smashwords

I'm offering a 50% coupon discount on Hunger Moon, my Norse Werewolves Urban Fantasy novel, through May 22nd. It's usually $4.99 but for the next couple weeks, you can obtain it for $2.50.

Url:  https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/309967
Coupon Code YV52HOffer expires: May 22, 2013.

If you purchase a copy, leave me a short review anywhere and I'll send you a free PDF copy of The Child Thief and a wolf themed bookmark. Just drop me an email at melissasnark @gmail dot com.

The Silent NOW

I'd like to talk about another perception related male disordered that afflicts Mr. Snark. 
This one doesn't have a name (yet) but I'm open to suggestions.

Mrs. Snark says, "I'd like you to build a planter in the back yard, Mr. Snark."

An immediate interrupt enters Mr. Snark's mind and he hears the word "NOW" embedded within the request. The man assumes he must respond immediately. I kid you not. 

If Mr. Snark had Miss Bear within his grasp, dangling over the Grand Canyon, Mr. Snark would think that he had to drop the tot, allowing her to plummet to her death, so that he could get right on that damn planter without delay.

The occurrences of "NOW" syndrome are numerous, and apparently, incurable. Mrs. Snark has attempted snark-chasm and pointing out the obvious to no avail.

Mrs. Snark calls her husband from Costco. "There's a cot here that might work for camping. I want you to look at it."

"I can't go to Costco right now," Mr. Snark snaps. "You have my Costco card."

Mrs. Snark sighs. Once again, her husband has inserted the silent NOW. She knows he's at work and actually doesn't expect him to immediately drop everything to go rushing down to look at camping cots.

NOW syndrome only happens in response to relatively unimportant requests to which Mrs. Snark attaches low priority. In the actual instances when Mrs. Snark means NOW, Mr. Snark thinks, Yawn. No rush.

"Mr. Snark, I want you to put your laundry basket away. It's been sitting there for three weeks and I'm going to strangle you if you don't get your butt into gear."  Do it NOW. GRRRRR...

"Yes, dear. I'll get right on that."

There's no assumption of urgency at all.  

Why? WHY????????

Because Mrs. Snark actually means NOW for real and not just in the man's vivid imagination.

Comedy of errors...

There are moments during the editing process when my hand flies toward my face...

With more than half his *BEEP* inside of her, she wanted to shout and quack, begging him to stop, pleading for more.

QUACK. My heroine is a duck. 

FACE PALM.

Author Spotlight: Vonnie Davis

Vonnie, please tell us about yourself and your writing.
I’m a retired technical writer who’s traded her tailored clothes for the feathered boa of a romance author. I’m a fairy-Godmother, of sorts, who creates happy endings for her characters.  My husband, who’s also a published author, and I live in southern Virginia with one spoiled tabby.
What does your writing space look like?
A burgundy leather recliner. My laptop sits on my lap while my cat snuggles against my legs, his one paw hooked over my calf as if he’s afraid he’ll topple off in his sleep. A coffee cup sits on the stand to my left and a basket of dictionaries, thesauruses and books on craft are on the floor to my right.
Do you have a process for coming up with character names and book titles?

For first names, I figure out the year of my character’s birth and search through the social security list of names given to babies that year. Usually the top 200 are given in order of most frequently used. If nothing fits my character, I go to baby naming sites. As for last names, I chose from the backs of football and basketball jerseys. In book titles, something usually pops out at me as I write.
Tell us about your current book. What is it about? What inspired it?
Rain is a Love Song is book two of my romantic suspense series. Each book has its own romantic couple, yet contains the same band of terrorists who wreak havoc in every story. The opening scene contains a man riding a Harley while wearing angel wings that fluttered down his back and dragged on the pavement. I saw that man in 2006 while Calvin and I sat at a sidewalk café across from the Pompedieu Museum. I was eating a French hamburger—a meat patty topped by a fried sunny-side-up egg (shudders)—when this guy slowly rode by. My sandwich stilled halfway to my mouth and my chin dropped. Not to accommodate the burger, but in shock. Yet none of the Parisians seemed to notice. To them, the avant-garde was the norm. I mentally filed that scene away to use some day.

BLURB:
What should be a wonderful trip to Paris turns menacing when Gwen Morningstar's daughter is kidnapped by The Red Hand terrorist group. Fortunately, Jean-Luc LeFevre of France's Counterterrorism Unit is there to rescue her little girl. Gwen is grateful, but her need to apprehend the abductors must override any desire she feels for the handsome agent with his own brand of justice...and danger.

Jean-Luc is not pleased when Gwen, a crime scene photographer with just enough training to get them killed, is assigned to work with him. Not only does she take too many risks, she drives him to distraction.

As Gwen and Jean-Luc track the terrorists, their feelings for each other grow as fast as the danger. Jean-Luc is determined to protect Gwen and her daughter, but the sinister grasp of The Red Hand is strong and far-reaching. It will take more than love to keep them all safe.
BUY LINK:Amazon Kindle
Quick quiz: Favorite food? Lasagna, lobster, French onion soupFavorite color? Any color, but tan or brownFavorite animal? Cat, giraffes and koala bearBiggest pet peeve? People who bully othersName one person, living or dead, you'd most like to meet. Shakespeare
Where can we find you on the web?   Email:  vonnie.davis@ymail.com   
Website  
Blog
Facebook  
Twitter

Cats Lawyer Up: Our Response

Indie Authors for Hurricane Sandy Library Recovery

[image error] Click image to learn moreINDIE AUTHORS FOR HURRICANE SANDY LIBRARIES   Indie Authors for Hurricane Sandy Library Recovery was formed in November 2012 to help damaged public and school libraries in New Jersey, New York, and Connecticut by providing them with new books at no charge to them.  Authors from all around the world have already responded to our call and are committed to providing fiction and non-fiction print books as well as digital books (eBooks) to libraries in need. To date more than 170 authors are on standby and already over 1200 print books have been shipped to libraries able to receive them. This effort will take some time as book storage is limited during their re-building process.  The project is spearheaded by author K. S. Brooks of Washington State, an East Coast native, who has coordinated the effort with numerous library destinations. Together with a team of volunteers, including authors, publishers, and other professionals, the project is expanding to reach more destinations in need, and interested authors.  If you are an author who'd like to provide books for schools and libraries, please join our Facebook Group and follow the instructions pinned to the top of the page.  If you are a school or library in need of print copy books, or if you're a member of the media, please feel free to contact us directly at authorsforlibraries@ksbrooks.com    Public Relations services courtesy of Karen Pierce Gonzalez Public Relations.
***
 Brought to you courtesy of Indies Unlimited and author K.S. Brooks.
***
[image error] Click image to learn more
 About IU


We are at the beginning of a technological revolution in how books are written, published, marketed, purchased, and read. This site is dedicated to the independent authors, publishers, reviewers and readers who are on the cutting edge of that technological revolution.

A major challenge for any indie author is the lack of established infrastructure in place to market indie books. It can be challenging and time-consuming to get the word out about your book, to find reviewers, and to drive traffic to your website or Facebook page. As a new author, I was delighted to discover a very high level of mutual support and camaraderie in the indie author community. This platform is born from that spirit of mutual aid and support.

Please make Indies Unlimited your home for engagement with others who are interested in the Indie Author Movement. Be sure to “play nice” with others. Write informative, educational, or opinion minded comments, guest posts and other contributions. You can promote your books or yourself by participating in discussions and providing valuable content. Please do not spam us or use this system to send unrequested self-promotion, marketing, or sales materials. Instead, please use this platform to engage, inform, discuss, and build quality relationships.

I hope you will find this site both entertaining and informative and you will make a visit to Indies Unlimited part of your daily routine. You can also find us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter. Be sure to check out our YouTube channel and scope us out on Pinterest.
Sincerely,
Stephen Hise
Founder
 ***  [image error] K.S. Brooks has been writing for over thirty years. She penned her first book, a swashbuckling action-adventure based in 17th century France, when she was fifteen years old. Since then, despite working for a living in the electronics industry, Ms. Brooks continued to write. In 2001, she left the high-tech arena in Boston for the Eastern Shore of Maryland to pursue her writing.

That same year, her first novel, Lust for Danger, was published. That action- adventure novel won Ms. Brooks Honorable Mention in the Jada Book of the Year Awards, and invitations to speak at the Maryland Writers' Association Writers' Conference, the Bay to Ocean Writers' Conference, and numerous other venues. She has been honored by the Maryland Writers' Association three times by participating as a judge in its annual novel contest.

As the business world and health issues took up more of her energy, Ms. Brooks set her sights on moving West to an environment more suitable and affordable to a writing career. Since her relocation to the wilderness of northeastern Washington State, late in 2008, Ms. Brooks has created and released fourteen titles, the majority through the small independent publisher Cambridge Books. Published genres include suspense, educational children's books, comedy, photography, non-fiction, and action-adventure. She has six more novels planned in the original Agent Night Adventure Series (action-adventure), two in the Agent Night 'Cover Me' series (suspense), a horror novel, and a number of Mr. Pish educational children's books in the works.

In addition to her writing, Ms. Brooks is an award-winning photographer and poet. Her articles, photographs, poetry, and blogs can be found in books, magazines, newspapers, galleries, and web sites worldwide. In December of 2011, Ms. Brooks was recruited to assist in the start-up of Indies Unlimited, a website dedicated to the independent publishing community. She now serves as co- administrator and blog partner to the multi-author, multi-national, and award-winning site.

More about K. S. Brooks at http://www.ksbrooks.com
More about Indies Unlimited at http://www.IndiesUnlimited.com

Pathetic Navel Gazing

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall. What is my book's current Amazon sales rank?"

There's an enormous sinkhole out there, a greater waste than Facebook, more insidious than Lolcats.  It is a black hole, sucking up valuable writing time, warping perceptions so unsuspecting writers do not even realize what is happening until huge chunks of their day simply vanish. It appeals to our vanity and caters to our worst anxiety. 
What is this awful THING, you ask?
Amazon's Author Central offers a single page under a tab--innocently enough called "Books"--that allows an author to keep an eye on all of their ebooks sales ranks throughout the day. It appears to update hourly. An increase means a sale has happened. A decrease...no sale.  An uptick in sales rank can elevate an author to the heights of ecstasy; a downswing plunges him back to the depths of despair. 
If there is a state of neutral buoyancy—a point where a novel neither rises nor falls—it is unknown to this mere mortal. The metrics that govern sales rank are cryptic and mysterious, known only to some inner circle of geeks who reside deep within the bowels of Amazon's Citadel of Darkness HQ, dining upon the still beating hearts of authors offered up in sacrifice.

Sales rank is only one of the lures used to draw credulous writers into this Venus Flytrap. There are several other equally sinister tabs, including "Sales Info" and "Rank" (Author Rank), providing even more ways for authors to indulge in maudlin navel gazing.
Here I shall illustrate my own foolish obsession with the Sales Rank feature. My paranormal novella became available for a free promo that will last through May 6th.  Since its release, The Child Thief has hovered within an approximate range, around 60,000 at the best and 200,000 at the worst.
Today I gave away about 130 copies. It shot up pretty fast at first.
[image error]
A few hours later the progression slowed and finally appeared to top out. Woo-Hoo! I'm in the top 2000! YEAH, BABY, YEAH! Of course, my entire day vanished into the Bermuda Triangle, but that's okay.
I'm gonna have a bragging rights banner made:  TOP 2,000 In Kindle Store!


***
Get your copy on Amazon.

"Help me! Please. The child thief has stolen my son."

Valkyrie Victoria Storm has werewolf hunters hell bent on revenge trying to kill her. She can barely keep her own downtrodden pack alive, let alone respond to the pleas of a murdered mother.

Can she set aside her differences and work with her sworn enemy to save a little boy from a Christmas nightmare?

Book Review: Wanted Vampire: Bad Blood by Lisa Ryans

Book 2 in the Wanted: Vampire Series

Joel’s back.

Determined to return her sexy ex to his former vampire self, Tara Callister does what she has to do: She exposes three evil witches in order to enlist her coven’s help. Unfortunately for her, things don’t always work out as planned.

Targeted by her enemies, betrayed by her coven, she must figure out how to save herself and those she loves from the evil entwining itself in her life.But when her journey of self discovery leads her down an even darker path, will she stand behind her white witch promise or become one of them? And more importantly, are Joel’s feelings for her strong enough to survive it all?
Review:
I had the pleasure of being Lisa's critique partner and beta reader throughout the creation of Wanted Vampire: Bad Blood . The story begins with the immediate introduction of the story's villains, three witches called (ironically enough) The Misters, who have it in for heroine Tara Callister. As it happens, Tara is also a witch, and while the immediate cause of conflict between the coven members is not immediately apparent, it leads into a suspenseful and gripping climax. 
Tara's story starts out a difficult twist. Her vampire boyfriend, Joel, has been shapechanged into a wolf, and it is up to our enterprising heroine to save him from a life of fleas and Milk Bones. As the story progresses, a series of calamities strike, resulting in often hilarious situations for poor Tara, until it eventually becomes clear that she has been cursed by her rival witches. Add in an unplanned pregnancy and a vampy witch-bitch hot to trot for dear Joel, and the plot quickly becomes complicated and engrossing.
Bad Blood is the sequel to Wanted Vampire: Free Blood , and features the return of familiar characters such as Tara's best friend, Alexis, Alexis' husband, Bradley, and vampire elder, Malik. Readers will enjoy being able to visit with old favorites while also exploring the romantic dynamic of Tara and her vampire boyfriend, Joel.

Tara is stubborn and independent, everything a heroine should be. She is also a powerful witch, capable of casting impressive spells and summoning frightening power. At times, she is headstrong and maybe too self-sufficient, but she learns from her mistakes as the story progresses. Joel is likeable and yummy, and it is hilarious how the author contrives to keep him shirtless for much of the story. He also has his flaws, including a moment of monumental male stupidity mid-story.
Tara and Joel are a great couple. Much of the emotional conflict between the hero and heroine arises from their failure to communicate, but it is a realistic failing true to real life. As they gradually overcome their differences and grow together, their love story is sigh-worthy and satisfying.
I'll confess to having a soft spot for secondary character, Malik. I love bad boys, and I enjoy his machinations a great deal. I happen to be privy to the knowledge that he's got his own story coming, and I'm very much looking forward to reading it. 
Bad Blood is well-written with fast pacing and entertaining dialogue. The author has excellent grammar and a keen eye for detail. Her second novel in the series is an Indie work, but every aspect of the book has a professional appearance—from the cover to the thorough editing. The sex scenes are steamy and emotionally griping. I recommend this story for any reader who enjoys witches and vampires—especially together!


Buy Links:Amazon paperback & Amazon Kindle ebookB&N Kindle ebook

Cats Lawyer Up: We've Been Served

Presented without comment (on advice of counsel).

Author Spotlight: Lisa Rayns

Lisa, please tell us about yourself and your writing.
Who am I? First of all, I’m a Dr. Pepper drinker (Some days, wine is substituted). After that, I’m a wife, a mother of four boys, and a Cancer. I fantasize about vampires and dream about zombies-ALL the time. I do. I love those dreams too. I always wake up in a great mood after. My husband thinks that’s strange. I’m not sure why. J What do I want? I want to travel. I’ve crisscrossed the U.S. but I’d like to go further and see more of the world one day.
I write paranormal romance and urban fantasy, and I’m thrilled to finally have works published. I started off the old fashioned way, submitting manuscripts to publishers, getting rejected, and trying again. I did that for two years until I finally got it right. When I got my first contract, I really felt like an author. Around that time, I also discovered critique partners, Indie authors, and a whole community of other writers who were willing to offer support. Then things got easier. Every day has been a learning process, but I truly enjoy the journey. Most days. On the other days, I enjoy the wine.  



What does your writing space look like?

My desk holds my laptop, printer, and a generous supply of “idea” notes. The room is bright pink because bright colors inspire me. The walls hold pictures that inspire me too. One is of a painter who always reminds me to Paint it Beautiful. The other major picture in the room is a large poster of the New York skyline at night. City lights at night have always captivated me and left me feeling mystified. And yes, inspired. J 


Do you have a process for coming up with character names and book titles?


I do. I normally have an idea of where I want to be with the name so I start a list and jot ideas down as I think of them. Within a week, it normally comes to me. 3 a.m. seems to be my lucky time of day for ideas to strike!
What inspired your current book?
Inspiration. That’s a beautiful word. Since I wrote most of this book six years ago, I’m having trouble remembering. *blush* I bet you’ve never gotten that answer before. Let’s skip that original inspiration and move on to my rewrite inspiration… “Fighter” by Christina Aguilera. Yep. That, and my love for Joel.


Blurb:
Joel’s back.
Determined to return her sexy ex to his former vampire self, Tara Callister does what she has to do: She exposes three evil witches in order to enlist her coven’s help. Unfortunately for her, things don’t always work out as planned.
Targeted by her enemies, betrayed by her coven, she must figure out how to save herself and those she loves from the evil entwining itself in her life. But when her journey of self discovery leads her down an even darker path, will she stand behind her white witch promise or become one of them? And more importantly, are Joel’s feelings for her strong enough to survive it all?

Buy Links:Amazon paperback & Amazon Kindle ebookB&N Kindle ebook

Where to find me:Website   Blog   Facebook   Twitter  


Quick quiz:
*  Favorite food? Lasagna
*  Favorite color? Royal blue
*  Favorite animal? Cats, the bigger the better
*  Biggest pet peeve? Waiting
*  Name one person, living or dead, you'd most like to meet. Cleopatra


Thanks so much for having me on your blog today, Melissa!

Lisa, thank you for being here! :)