Melissa Snark's Blog: The Snarkology, page 114

Book Review: Silver Blade by Charlotte Cooper

Blurb:
Oscar McAvoy hunts demons. Chosen to rid the world of evil, he nevertheless condemns himself as a murderer. When saved by the beautiful Angela Knight, he judges himself undeserving of love.

Angela Knight is on the way back from her brother’s funeral when she stops to help a fallen motorcycle rider. Her body responds to the handsome stranger, a man whose scars and tough exterior suggest a rough and dangerous life. When she can’t stop thinking about him, Angela must decide if she is willing to give the sexy, mysterious stranger a chance. 
Love chooses us; we do not choose who we will love or who will love us. 

!!!!!!!!!!
 
Disclaimer: I got up at 4 a.m. and drank a pot of coffee by myself before writing this review, so it contains exclamation points! (Lots!)

!!!!!!!!!!
Silver Blade by Charlotte Cooper is a paranormal romance novella set in a world where demons and the hunters who stalk them are real. The story starts off fast and furious with  a heart-stopping car chase and motorcycle accident. The pacing continues at a good clip with exciting action sequences and sizzling sex scenes.
Angela Knight works in a Las Vegas casino by day and rescues injured demon hunters by night. She is smart, feisty and courageous, and also very much rooted in reality. Angela is highly likeable and easy for the reader to identify with, although there was a slight disconnect when she discovers that the things that go bump in the night are real. The heroine handles the paradigm shift with a remarkable aplomb.
She's like: So, wow. Those bodies just vanished into thin air and monsters are real? Cool!The hero is like: Yeah, totally. Want to have more amazing sex? See me, I'm smoldering!Everyone else would've been like: WTF! Bring me Valium and a therapist! NOW!
Oscar "Oz" McAvoy really had me at "Fug." Admittedly, I've harbored a not-so-secret adoration for all men named Oz since Seth Green first smirked his way onto the second season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But there's plenty to love about the hero of Silver Blade. In his own right, he'd big, bold and brash. And he's got swords! (Aside from the one in his pants.)
Angela and Oz share great chemistry and it's a good thing too because they get busy faster than two bunnies at a rabbit orgy. As lovers, they set fires. The sex scenes are almost but not quite explicit enough to be considered erotica. The emotional components for a gripping romance are also present. Their compatibility is immediately obvious.
The author really does a great job with dialogue, plot, pacing and characterization. My only stylistic complaint was a tendency for the POV to switch within scenes without any spacing or other formatting to warn the reader. I realize some editors encourage this now but as a reader, I beg writers to "just say no". Or at the very least, insist upon a line break.
Of course, Silver Blade is a novella so everything happens quickly, but I really wanted to keep reading. When I reached the end, I blinked and performed a thorough search, hoping to find another twenty chapters of adventure. I wanted more! Damn it. Hopefully, Charlotte will write another paranormal romance in the near future.

Buy Link:
Amazon Kindle

Where can you find Charlotte Cooper on the web?   Email: charlottecopper.author@gmail.com  
Website/Blog   
Facebook

Pulp Fiction

Everyone knows Tarantino's neo-noir classic, Pulp Fiction, which was a tribute to trade paperbacks dating back as far as the 1930s when Dashiell Hammett wrote "The Maltese Falcon". The genre enjoyed its heyday in the 50s and 60s when millions of inexpensive paperback novels sold for as little as a dime.

Pulp covers are often sexist, intended to shock and thrill, titillate by flirting with cultural taboos. They certaintly represent the most sexist assumptions of the era. In many cases, the results are amusing, even downright hysterical. I've recently been browsing over on www.pulpcovers.com and I came across a few gems just screaming to be shared.


Because lesbians are scary. Oh my!


And feminists are even scarier!

And a dominatrix too!



Oh wait, Satan is confused...transgendered?


Wait! What exactly are 'sucklings' anyway?
Are those nipple plates or pasties?

Vonnie's next Red Hand cover?
From the Scarlet Rose line...
Run! You poor man! Run!

Author Spotlight: Charlotte Cooper

Charlotte, please tell us about yourself and your writing.
I live in Stouffville, Ontario which is just north-east of Toronto. (Yes, that is in Canada.)  I’m a wife, mother & step-mother…three lovely daughters in total. I’ve worked full time at the same computer services company for 25 years, and I spend numerous hours each week taking my daughter to volleyball practices and tournaments, so unfortunately I just squeeze writing in whenever I can.
I remember starting to write in high school – a story based on myself and three of my friends, and where I thought our lives would go - but that was back before computers, and I gave up because re-writes were a lot of work…and a lot of paper.  I started writing again several years ago when I found I was day dreaming stories as I drove to work, and so I decided to start writing them down…with a computer this time!
What does your writing space look like?
I carry a note book with me wherever I go so that I can write ideas/names/stories as they come to me (restaurants, volleyball practices, etc).  When I know I’ve got some real time to write, I like to sit on my bed and work on my laptop. It is quiet in there and I can close the door to family and cats.
Do you have a process for coming up with character names and book titles?
I usually have the names of my characters and title picked as soon I start a story. My daughter hates it because she’ll start talking about her friends and I’ll say “Teegan? Oooohhh, I love that name” and out comes the little notebook.  For titles, I have a little theme going that I hope my publishers let me keep. I like to have color + word..Silver Blade, Gold Star…by Charlotte Copper, get it?
Tell us about your current book. What is it about? What inspired it?
Silver Blade is about Angela Knight, a black-jack dealer from Vegas who just buried her brother. On her way back from his funeral she witnesses a motorcycle accident, and she takes the injured rider to the hospital. She is instantly attracted to the rugged bounty hunter, Oz McAvoy. What she doesn’t know is that Oz’s bounty hunter job is just a cover story for the fact that he is actually a blade-wielding demon hunter. 
As I said, I daydream a lot in the car – keeping my eyes closed makes it easier to remain calm when my husband is driving. Anyway, I remember this guy passing us on a motorcycle; huge guy in a tight leather jacket, with an odd looking bag strapped to the back of his bike. What was in the bag, I wondered…
Blurb:
Oscar McAvoy hunts demons. Chosen to rid the world of evil, he nevertheless condemns himself as a murderer. When saved by the beautiful Angela Knight, he judges himself undeserving of love. Angela Knight is on the way back from her brother’s funeral when she stops to help a fallen motorcycle rider. Her body responds to the handsome stranger, a man whose scars and tough exterior suggest a rough and dangerous life. When she can’t stop thinking about him, Angela must decide if she is willing to give the sexy, mysterious stranger a chance. 
Love chooses us; we do not choose who we will love or who will love us. 
Buy Link:Amazon Kindle
Quick quiz: Favorite food? Tie: Coke and chocolateFavorite color? RedFavorite animal? Cats – calicos!Biggest pet peeve? Mothers with strollers at craft shows, especially the side-by-side double strollers that fill the narrow aisles. Name one person, living or dead, you'd most like to meet.  Sandra Bullock – I’m a big fan and I’d love to find out if she is as nice and down-to-earth as she appears
Where can we find you on the web?   Email: charlottecopper.author@gmail.com   Website/Blog   Facebook

Damned if you do...n't

Mr. Snark is a pack rat, a fact that annoys Mrs. Snark to no end.


Mrs. Snark likes to purge junk.

A few years ago, Mr. Snark got into trouble for hoarding out-of-date electronics. The man had a stack of ancient relics gathering dust in the garage, keeping company with his teenage porn collection (hidden in a decaying Sierra Nevada 12-pack box) and a CRT monitor weighing in at two hundred pounds. 

"Why? Why are we keeping all of this junk?" Mrs. Snark demanded, waving a 1970s Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition (featuring the first bikinis ever worn outside of France).

"This isn't junk! Everything here is a precious treasure. It all could be useful someday!" Mr. Snark snatched his magazine back. The box of porn then went onto the highest shelf in the garage where Mrs. Snark could not reach.

That was the man's solution to everything. When Mr. Snark's horrid toaster stopped working, Mrs. Snark threatened to toss it, so he stashed it in the cabinets above the refrigerator in an attempt to delay the inevitable.

The toaster got thrown away when we moved in together.

To the best of my knowledge, the porn is still out there somewhere.

Anyway, back to our story...

"Get rid of every old electronic box we're not currently using!" Mrs. Snark said, handing down the ultimatum. 

Strangely enough, Mr. Snark cooperated THAT ONE TIME.

Fast forward a few years...

Recently, Miss Bear located Grandma Snark's collection of original Disney movies on VHS. There are prizes such as The Little Mermaid and many others currently unavailable on DVD.

Miss Bear followed her mother around clutching that damn Little Mermaid tape for two solid days, unable to understand why she couldn't watch it.

"Watch!" Miss Bear sobbed, waving the VHS box about.

"Do we have a VHS player anymore?" Mrs. Snark asked.

"You made me get rid of all of them!" Mr. Snark said. "I TOLD YOU THEY WEREN'T JUNK!"

Zing .  

After six years together, the man FINALLY got the last word.

Cats Lawyer Up: List of Grievances continued...

Cats Lawyer Up: We've Been Served Cats Lawyer Up: Our ResponseCats Lawyer Up: List of Grievances Page 1 Page 2...

Book Review: Loveland by Andrea Downing

Blurb:

When Lady Alexandra Calthorpe returns to the Loveland, Colorado, ranch owned by her father, the Duke, she has little idea of how the experience will alter her future. Headstrong and willful, Alex tries to overcome a disastrous marriage in England and be free of the strictures of Victorian society --and become independent of men. That is, until Jesse Makepeace saunters back into her life...
Hot-tempered and hot-blooded cowpuncher Jesse Makepeace can’t seem to accept that the child he once knew is now the ravishing yet determined woman before him. Fighting rustlers proves a whole lot easier than fighting Alex when he’s got to keep more than his temper under control.
Arguments abound as Alex pursues her career as an artist and Jesse faces the prejudice of the English social order. The question is, will Loveland live up to its name?
Buy Links:The Wild Rose PressAmazon Kindle                Amazon PrintBarnes & Noble Nook

Review:


Andrea Downing's Loveland is a historical western romance set in 1880's Colorado during the heyday of the Wild West. The author pays meticulous attention to detail and historical accuracy and manages to recreate the ethos and atmosphere of the era without burdening the story with excessive information.  Loveland has a mood rather like "Little House on the Prairie" or maybe "Bonanza", immersing the reader entirely in a time and a place. Additionally, the story moves back and forth between the culture of the old west and Victorian England, creating startling contrasts between the two societies, which serves to reinforce the distinctness of each.  My hat is off to the author for her mastery of world building and historical recreation.
The story begins with the return of seventeen-year-old Lady Alex, daughter of an English Duke, to a ranch located in Colorado, managed by her uncle. Headstrong Alex has a complicated and rather tragic back story. Her mother died when she was young, her father has sent her into exile because of a scandal, and no one had ever really loved or wanted her as a child. Gradually, the facts associated with the scandal become clear, and Alex must endure censor from members of the Colorado community who disapprove of her.
Lady Alex spent four years on the ranch in her youth, and grew up as something of a wild child. She loves horses and nature, craves freedom and independence. She has strong bonds with many of the ranch hands, including the hero, Jesse Makepeace, whom she knew between the ages of eight and twelve. The pair start out sharing a strong affection rooted in this bond, which is initially familial, rather like an older brother and younger sister.
Jesse is ten years older than Alex, but he has never married.  He begins the story working on the ranch as a hired hand and eventually becomes the manager. As a hero, he embodies every ideal that women love about cowboys. He is strong, courageous, patient, loyal and gentle. He isn't perfect. He has a bit of a temper and suffers from a sweet vulnerability that only increases his appeal, making him seem more accessible. If he were real, he would be an easy man to love.
Downing deftly handles the evolution of the hero and heroine's feelings for one another.  Initially, I feared the transition would be rushed, but there was no cause for concern. Loveland's plot spans a period from 1881 to 1889, patiently progressing through rough economic times for the ranch and even tougher emotional trials for the characters.
My only criticism would be that Lady Alex often comes across as emotionally immature and selfish. Of course, her age and circumstances should be taken into consideration. As a seventeen year old, she lacks Jesse's maturity and empathy. She is a girl and not a woman who desperately needs a mother willing to say no. Because she is pretty and precocious, the men in her life indulge her. They are bewildered and befuddled and do not know now to deal with her tantrums. She shouts (paraphrasing here): "Or what? What will you do?" Her uncle is clueless. The mother in me longs to hear: "You're grounded until you behave, child. No more horseback riding and wiling away your life doing whatever you please. You'll do chores. You'll learn there are other people in this world besides you." 
Unfortunately, no one ever gives the girl and love and structure that she craves, and so her emotional immaturity serves as the primary source of internal conflict throughout the story. Fortunately, Alex does grow up by the conclusion in time for true love's happy ending.I do wish to note here that the reader should not interpret my words to mean that the novel is boring. Never. Downing keeps the action moving right along with gunfights, cattle stampedes and even an old west carnival. Loveland is always entertaining. Secondary characters are especially well developed and distinct. Love scenes are sensual. Loveland appears to be Downing's first published novel, which makes it an even more remarkable achievement.  This is one of those rare occasions when I'd go higher than five stars and the author truly deserves it.

Author Spotlight: Andrea Downing

Andrea, please tell us about yourself and your writing.
I've been writing for as long as I can remember—it's being published that is recent.  I started writing stories when I was a child, moved into longer works of fiction, poetry, and then travel articles before coming back to fiction.  I never had the guts to send my work off to a publisher until I got to an age where I felt I had nothing to lose.  I'm still rather shy about people reading my work.  Crazy, isn't it?  Though I did have some poems published…
What does your writing space look like?
Depends where I am.  I move around a lot, but at home in NYC I have a study which doubles as the guestroom and that has the most wonderful, ginormous desk and a view out onto Columbus Ave. and Central Park beyond. But most other places I am relegated to a dining table or whatever I can get.
Do you have a process for coming up with character names and book titles?
I'm reasonably good about finding titles—they just sort of come to me on the basis of something in the book.  I do have to occasionally change my first title, however.  I'm shopping a contemporary romance at the moment and my first title was Texas Twostep, which I thought was so very clever.  Then I discovered there are like a dozen books with that title so it went bye-byes…  Character names just usually come to me.  I get very strong feelings as to the names of the characters and can't change them because they're real people to me.
Tell us about your current book. What is it about? What inspired it?
Loveland was inspired by my return to live in the USA after spending most of my life in Britain.  But I'd always loved the west, spent most of our family vacations on ranches out west.  Then, when I returned to live here, I discovered that many of the great ranches were owned by British cattle companies run by remittance men—younger sons of the aristocracy.  Well, the story just evolved from that and here I am.  Blurb:
When Lady Alexandra Calthorpe returns to the Loveland, Colorado, ranch owned by her father, the Duke, she has little idea of how the experience will alter her future. Headstrong and willful, Alex tries to overcome a disastrous marriage in England and be free of the strictures of Victorian society --and become independent of men. That is, until Jesse Makepeace saunters back into her life...
Hot-tempered and hot-blooded cowpuncher Jesse Makepeace can’t seem to accept that the child he once knew is now the ravishing yet determined woman before him. Fighting rustlers proves a whole lot easier than fighting Alex when he’s got to keep more than his temper under control.
Arguments abound as Alex pursues her career as an artist and Jesse faces the prejudice of the English social order. The question is, will Loveland live up to its name?
Buy Links:The Wild Rose PressAmazon Kindle                Amazon PrintBarnes & Noble Nook
Quick quiz: Favorite food?I've said this before and I'll say it again:  CHOCOLATEFavorite color?Haven't really got one but I'm drawn to bright colors, especially reds and royal blue, despite the fact I almost exclusively wear black…Favorite animal?  Horse of course!Biggest pet peeve? Well, at the moment it's not having people in business phone me back.  I have an insurance claim with a company which has the worst customer relations I've ever encountered—they NEVER phone back despite all their friendly voicemail messages saying they'll reply in one business day.  Oh, dear; it's so draining chasing people!Name one person, living or dead, you'd most like to meet.  I was thinking just the other day how I would have enjoyed meeting Samuel Clemens/Mark Twain.  I think he would really be a most delightful man with whom to spend some time.
Where can we find you on the web?Website and blogEmail: andidowning@gmail.com Facebook  Twitter

Cats Lawyer Up: List of Grievances

Cats Lawyer Up: We've Been Served Cats Lawyer Up: Our Response
List of grievances...Page 1...

When Monday has Teeth

Mr. Jim Davis owns GarfieldI'm going to sound like a Garfield cartoon, but Monday bit me hard and hasn't let go yet. 

Yes, yes, I do realize it's Friday.

Monday started out with a sleepless night due to a nasty scrape on my knee and various aches 'n pains thanks to weekend yard work.

In the kitchen, I headed for the coffee pot with the singlemindedness of a zombie going for brains. Water, filter, pot... How hard can it be?

A couple minutes I had a pot full of hot water. Coffee? Oh yeah! Beans!

Okay, take two: water, filter, beans...  Check, check, check. So I threw the switch and water went EVERYWHERE.  

Shit! Shit! Shit! 

POT!

As I sopped up hot water off the counter, Mr. Snark sailed into the kitchen. "Making coffee is a complicated task," he said. "Move aside and allow a MAN to handle it."

Humiliated, I stomped off, grumbling beneath my breath.

Time passed. I recovered from the coffee fiasco and took Miss Bear to the gym. The May day was nice. Warm but not hot. A little cloudy. Miss Bear and I decided to go for a long bike ride.  Miss Bear has one of those trailers that hooks on behind my bicycle, so she rides in comfort while I do all the work.

We had a nice lunch and then headed to the library where we browsed books for about an hour. On the way out, the weather took a turn for the worse and it started to sprinkle. Looking up, I decided to take my chances and try to make it home. Miss Bear had an hour left before her naptime and she'd started to get grumpy.

Within a couple minutes of setting out, I knew I'd made a dreadful mistake. The clouds opened and a downpour hit. I got drenched. Fortunately, Miss Bear's trailer has a plastic cover that mostly keeps her dry. Some water seeps in but not a lot.

The bike ride home took a lot longer than it should have. Visibility sucked. I had to watch for oblivious drivers and puddles that might be too deep for the trailer to pass through. It was tense. At one point, I turned off the main road onto a side street because there was no sloped area, no proper crosswalk and no light. 

I reached an appropriate area for crossing and naturally some dude in a big white pickup truck drove up and wanted to make a left hand turn in front of me. I waved him to go because I had no intention of entering a roadway with any sort of traffic on it in the pouring rain.

Lucky me, the jackass proved to be a gentleman. No, you go. He waved and waited. I indicated no and he pointed, waved, waited some more in the bone dry cab of his freakin' truck with no regard at all for the fact that I was cold, miserable and getting unhappier with each passing second. I swear, if he'd climbed out of the pickup right then, I'd have throttled him. 

Eventually, he went and we were finally able to cross. With about a mile left, Miss Bear started to whine. I trudged along for the final stretch, put the bike away and the second I entered the house, my eyes started to sting from sweat washing into them from my forehead. Not just stinging but burning and itching like crazy.

Blinded by watering eyes and a running nose, I put Miss Bear down for her nap and groped through the medicine cabinet. I dumped a half bottle of Visine into each eyeball. Then I staggered to a chair and collapsed into a lifeless heap, feeling like Monday had dropped a piano on top of me.

It was a bad Monday. I suppose things could have been worse. Someone could have died...

I'm recovering. Tuesday, I approached the coffee pot and successfully brewed a batch.  I'm finally able to write about it.

I'm thinking that I'll be able to approach my bike again by tomorrow without shuddering. 

Maybe.  
 

Book Review: Rain Is A Love Song by Vonnie Davis

BLURB:
What should be a wonderful trip to Paris turns menacing when Gwen Morningstar's daughter is kidnapped by The Red Hand terrorist group. Fortunately, Jean-Luc LeFevre of France's Counterterrorism Unit is there to rescue her little girl. Gwen is grateful, but her need to apprehend the abductors must override any desire she feels for the handsome agent with his own brand of justice...and danger.

Jean-Luc is not pleased when Gwen, a crime scene photographer with just enough training to get them killed, is assigned to work with him. Not only does she take too many risks, she drives him to distraction.

As Gwen and Jean-Luc track the terrorists, their feelings for each other grow as fast as the danger. Jean-Luc is determined to protect Gwen and her daughter, but the sinister grasp of The Red Hand is strong and far-reaching. It will take more than love to keep them all safe.
BUY LINK:Amazon Kindle

REVIEW:

When their eyes made contact, he could have sworn a current of lightning crackled in the tiny bathroom, landing straight in his groin. Along the way, the current zapped every pore of his tired body, obliterating the fatigue. The hairs on his arms and legs stood on end. Air whooshed from his lungs. A squeak of surprise escaped Gwen’s lips. She had a towel wrapped around her hair and held another to her bosom; her very ample bosom, from what he could see. Hell, his hands itched to snatch that towel from her white-knuckled grasp. The scent of her get-your-sex-here lotion filled the room. Thoughts of lifting her unto his marble vanity and taking her caused his erection to swell even more, which surprised him since he was already as hard as one of the marble columns at the Pantheon—and just as straight.Her surprised blue eyes traveled down his body, and she gasped. His erection nodded in greeting. She dropped to her knees in front of him. He rolled his eyes heavenward. Thank you, God.Soft warm fingers trailed a path down his thigh, and his muscles quivered in response. “You’ve got a scar here. On your beautiful thigh.”Are you freakin’ kidding me? I’ve got the mother of all hard-ons and all she can see is my scar?Granted, it was one helluva scar. Long, thick and rugged, but so was his hard-on. This wasn’t doing his ego any good. Plus, that damn tick was back in his eye. She was the cause of it. Her and her continual efforts to keep him off balance.“It’s so long.”Yeah, well check out my pecker if you want to see long.“It runs from your groin the whole length of your fabulous thigh to your knobby knee.”Knobby knee? What the hell?



Vonnie Davis made me inhale Diet Coke.
I'm tempted to say Vonnie Davis tried to kill me--attempted manslaughter by soda drowning, but it's a bit o' melodrama, so I'll refrain. Instead, I'll simply tell you that this one scene had me in tears. (Fluids in your sinus cavity are quite painful.)
"Love is a Rain Song" (RisLS) is the sequel to "Mona Lisa's Room" and part of The Red Hand Conspiracy series. The story is fast-paced and exciting and sucks the reader in and takes her on a wild ride. The adventure spans continents and nations as it follows the hero and heroine through not only space—Paris to Budapest—but also time as it tracks a traumatic childhood event that had formative influence over the hero.
While Gwen Morningstar is vacationing in Paris, the Red Hand terrorist organization attempts to kidnap her six-year-old daughter, Rhiannon. Fortunately, French government agent Jean-Luc LeFevre is there to save the day and foil the abduction. The swift escalation of events ratchets up not only the danger element but also the sexual tension as Gwen is drawn into Jean-Luc's world. First, she lends her professional assistance and later acts as his undercover partner as they attempt to bring down the bad guys.
Gwen is a ton of fun. She's a whole lot of S-words. Smart. Sexy. Sassy. Snarky. All wrapped up in a highly competent professional crime scene photographer. She has her flaws. Gwen is impulsive, improper and rather contrary, but her shortcomings all add to the entertainment. As the widow of a serviceman killed in action and mother to her only child, she also demonstrates the admirable qualities of protectiveness, loyalty and compassion.
I loved the fact that Gwen's first impulse upon seeing the hero naked for the first time was—ahem—to give him a hard time.
Or should that be, harder time? ;-)
Jean-Luc plays the role of straight man, becoming the target of her wicked sense of humor. For the most part, he handles the ribbing graciously, although, he does engage in a fair amount of good-natured complaining. Fear not, for this man is armed and knows how to get even.
Jean-Luc is a solidly sexy hero. He is cocky and confident. He demonstrates touching vulnerability due to his sister having been kidnapped as a child, and is also a confirmed bachelor. His experiences with personal loss and misplaced feelings of responsibility have left him commitment phobic.
As the story progressed, Jean-Luc comes to realize that he needs both Gwen and her daughter in his life. For a man so committed to being alone, it is a startling revelation and yet he achieves it almost too easily. My only critical observation on characterization is that the hero should have struggled more to achieve the transition from French playboy to a one-woman-man.
Gwen and Jean-Luc share great chemistry and their courtship makes for an engrossing read. Both characters must overcome fears of loss and insecurity in order to open up enough to love one another. Their mutual struggle to reach out to each other makes RisLS a wonderful tale about the redemptive powers of love.
Vonnie Davis writes a griping story of romance and intrigue. The action sequences are riveting, interspersed by absolutely hysterical comedic moments. The sex scenes sizzle on the page. The author builds the sexual tension so high that it startled me to realize that descriptive imagery refrains from going into the realm of explicitness.
Definitely a 5 star read.