Melissa Snark's Blog: The Snarkology, page 113

A Bouquet and a Mop

Do you know that moment when you finish washing the kitchen floor and you turn back to survey the pristine shininess? You know the one. A chorus of angels sing. A light shines down from heaven. You heave a sigh, thinking Thank God it's over because there's nothing else I hate more than washing the kitchen floor.

Every now and then, I hear about a new type of garment fabric that's allegedly impervious to dirt and sweat, which only requires washing after every 100th wear. Instead of welcoming the thought of this miracle shirt, I always think: I'd get sick to death of wearing the same shirt ten days in a row, never mind a hundred. This product was totally invented by a man.

Then I think: Why can't they make a kitchen floor that only needs to be washed every 100th day?

Suffice it to say, the washing of the kitchen floor is an event in the Snark household. Mrs. Snark actually owns an expensive floor washing machine but the apparatus does not fit in the three-inch gap the cabinets and the tile, so it is an absolute waste of time.

Mrs. Snark builds drama in the days before the great event. She makes announcements. "I have to wash the floor on my hands and knees. I'm going to wind up with sore knees and a bad back. Then, I shall die before my time. Cremate me and spread my ashes on the beach where we married."

In an attempt to avoid raising Miss Bear as a single father, Mr. Snark arrived home clutching a bouquet of wild flowers in one hand (because he's a smart man) and an old fashioned mop with a floppy head and a stick handle in the other.

Miss Bear promptly turned the mop into a weapon.

The mop proved to be serviceable, although unwieldy.

When Mrs. Snark washed the tile and then gathered the Snark men together into one place. "I have just finished washing the kitchen floor with this old-fashioned mop! The first man or boy to mess up the kitchen floor is moving into the backyard to live in the dog house!"

The Middle Son likes to live life on the edge: "What's gonna happen if I get a crumb on the floor? Huh? Huh? Huh?"
Mr. Snark walks past, shaking his head. "Boy, you're ten types of stupid. Don't taunt your mother."
Yet, despite the most dire warnings, dinner arrives and all caution is tossed to the wind. The Snark men eat as if they were a coalition of Cookie Monsters. "NOM NOM NOM!" Crumbs fly like sparks off a grinding wheel. Volcanic eruptions of sauce splatter the ceiling.
Worse is the deliberate sabotage against Mrs. Snark's tireless labor. In the dead of night, children gather for ritualized celebrations, tossing cereal and peanuts about as if they were confetti. Cats spread kibble far and wide. Mr. Snark gleefully dribbles red wine on the tile.

By the next day, the kitchen looks like the center of a food disaster zone. Defeated and in heavy spirits, Mrs. Snark heaves a heavy sigh and sloughs back to her keyboard. 

Someday perhaps, the trauma will fade. Armed with the mop her husband has provided, she will once again marshal her forces, going forth to battle stickiness and crumbs. 

Book Review: Backlash by Karyn Good

Blurb:
What he’s sworn to protect, she’s willing to sacrifice to save those she loves...
When dedicated teacher Lily Wheeler interrupts a vicious gang attack on one of her students, she vows it won’t happen again. But her rash interference puts her in the path of a cold-blooded killer and the constable tracking him—a man she has little reason to trust, but can never forget.
Constable Chase Porter returned to Aspen Lake to see justice done, not renew old acquaintances. But when he rescues the woman he once loved from a volatile situation, he realizes his feelings for Lily haven’t lessened over the years.
Now, the dangerous killer Chase has sworn to capture has Lily in his sights. Can Chase and Lilly learn to trust each other again before it’s too late—or will old insecurities jeopardize their future?

Review:



Backlash is a contemporary suspense novel set is a small town. The story is a fresh take on "good girl falls for bad boy and gets her heart broken". Karyn Good does an excellent job of creating realistic characters and crafting a compelling plot. She manages to keep the story interesting, which is essential when handling a romantic trope such as "All Girls Want Bad Boys".
The heroine, Lily Wheeler, is a determined school teacher who comes across one of her students being threatened in the parking lot by gang members. She makes a courageous attempt to protect the boy, but it is the timely arrival of police officer Chase Porter that really saves the day. The mystery behind why a dangerous gang is interested in a small town thirteen-year-old boy serves an intriguing element. The gang threat helps drive the entire plot and serves as the central source of external conflict within the story.
Lily loved Chase when they were teenagers, but he broke her heart. Following a single night of passion, he walked out on her without a word of explanation. Ten years later, it is clear that Lily has never truly recovered from the heartbreak and her reunion with Chase vaults her right back into an intense physical and emotional attraction.  
Lily is a great character. She is compassionate and brave. Although there are times when she behaves with a remarkable lack of common sense for a grown, college educated woman. Her repeated determined efforts to protect her student are laudable, but it frustrated me when she argued endlessly with Chase for attempting to do his job.
Chase is a hunky, emotionally unavailable cop who grew up in an abusive household, the son of an alcoholic father. As the story begins, he is abrupt, almost callous, and Lily's initial attempts to connect with him are painful. However, Chase feels more than he shows and eventually his attraction to and concern for Lily overpower his fear of attachment.
Amidst the high-stakes danger of the gang case, Lily and Chase fall in love again. Love scenes are sensual without being explicit and the hero and heroine share a sizzling chemistry. Fans of the romantic suspense genre will find Backlash to be a Can't-Put-Down read.
I received a complimentary copy of the book in exchange for an honest review.


Backlash can be bought at:The Wild Rose Press  Amazon Paperback      Amazon Kindle  Barnes and NobleKobo 
Where to find Karyn Good on the web:WebsiteBlogFacebook Twitter Email: karyngoodauthor@gmail.com

Author Spotlight: Karyn Good

Hi Karyn, please tell us a little about yourself.I grew up on a farm in the middle of Canada's breadbasket. Under the canopy of crisp blue prairie skies I read books. Lots and lots of books. Occasionally, I picked up a pen and paper or tapped out a few meager pages of a story on a keyboard and dreamed of becoming a writer when I grew up. One day the inevitable happened and I knew without question the time was right. What to write was never the issue - romance and the gut wrenching journey towards forever.

What inspired your current book? 
The manuscript I have out on submission was inspired by a book we read in my book club, The Sanity Seekers. Missing Sarah, A Vancouver Woman Remembers Her Vanished Sister is written by a woman whose sister was the presumed victim of one of Canada’s most notorious serial killers, Robert Pickton. It was the first time this prairie gal had ever heard much about the area known as Canada’s poorest postal code, Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside. Maggie de Vries’ compassionate but realistic storytelling had a huge effect on me and I knew I wanted to tell a story set in Vancouver’s infamous Downtown Eastside and explore the widening gap between the rich and the poor. 
How do you come up with your book titles? 
I let them come to me probably because I suck at naming things. Out of necessity, I’m not one of those writers who need to have the name of the book nailed down before they can write it. Although it can happen that way. I find it’s easier to come up with a title if it presents the theme of the book. Also, I’m a member of a writing group and they’re always willing to help me if I’m stuck. Likewise, critique partners and beta readers. 
Do you write with music going in the background?  What are some of your favorite types/bands?
Yes. The more stuck I am the louder the music gets. Writing in silence does not work for me. Country is my first choice, but I also listen to alternative and soundtracks. I usually come up with a playlist for each book. Some of the songs from my Backlash playlist are Trail in Life by Dean Brody and Hood of My Car by Chad Brownless. Mud On The Tires by Brad Paisley and The House That Built Me by Miranda Lambert. These are the ones I’ve played over and over again to get me in the right mood or to tap into a particular emotion.
What is your favorite book genre? Who are your favorite authors? 
While I’m a fairly eclectic reader my favorite go-to type of book on a rainy day or when I need a book friend is romance. Any sub-genre will do, although I favor romantic suspense or contemporary. Tara Janzen, Suzanne Brockmann, Nora Roberts are three of my favorites. 
Who is the sexiest man/woman alive and why? 
I actually don’t believe any such person exists. Beauty is subjective. As is sexiness. But there are certain qualities I find very sexy. Those are the qualities I look for in my favorite heroes or heroines and hopefully I weave them into my own stories. 
Quick quiz: ·         Favorite food? Pizza·         Favorite color? Blue? No. Pink. Purple! Or maybe it depends on the day I’m having… ·         Favorite animal? Wolves…or owls. Weird choices, I know.  ·        Biggest pet peeve? Um…good question. Drivers who don’t signal.·         Dream car? Easy! Banana Yellow BMW Z4  Vroom Vroom!


Blurb:
What he’s sworn to protect, she’s willing to sacrifice to save those she loves...
When dedicated teacher Lily Wheeler interrupts a vicious gang attack on one of her students, she vows it won’t happen again. But her rash interference puts her in the path of a cold-blooded killer and the constable tracking him—a man she has little reason to trust, but can never forget.
Constable Chase Porter returned to Aspen Lake to see justice done, not renew old acquaintances. But when he rescues the woman he once loved from a volatile situation, he realizes his feelings for Lily haven’t lessened over the years.
Now, the dangerous killer Chase has sworn to capture has Lily in his sights. Can Chase and Lilly learn to trust each other again before it’s too late—or will old insecurities jeopardize their future?
Excerpt:
“I remember you.” His arms tightened.Her heart sighed, and the scent of him cast a spell. A trace of soap, a whiff of man, and a fragrance so familiar it made her think of bush parties, bonfires, cheap wine, and the back seat of an ’86 Firebird.She remembered every little detail.“What’s this about, Lilypad?”That he remembered that awful nickname he’d labeled her with when they were kids was a visceral punch to the gut. She wrinkled her nose. “I hated that name.”“I know. I’d have been disappointed if you hadn’t.”“Why ‘Lilypad?’”“I don’t know. I thought of it one day when a bunch of us were catching frogs.”“You’re such a sweet talker.”He hadn’t moved an inch, yet he seemed closer. “You don’t want a sweet talker. Remember?” He ran a finger down the side of her cheek. “You want someone who’s going to let you know exactly what he plans to do to you. And believe me, there won’t be anything sweet about it.”
Backlash can be bought at:The Wild Rose Press  Amazon Paperback      Amazon Kindle  Barnes and NobleKobo 
Where to find Karyn Good on the web:WebsiteBlogFacebook Twitter Email: karyngoodauthor@gmail.com

Guest Blogger: Crow for Breakfast by Lori Ryan

Ugh. This morning I ate crow for breakfast. My husband and I were walking our daughter to school with our eight month old son and three dogs in tow. Although I’m now a stay-at-home mom and an indie romance writer, my most recent past career (I’ve had a lot of them) was as a professional dog trainer. My husband is the anti-dog trainer. He lets the dogs get away with all kinds of things and specializes in letting bad habits build and spiral out of control. 
I, on the other hand, see potential problems before they get out of control and take the time to train the dogs when I’m out walking with them. It’s no secret that the dogs respond a little better to me than they do to him. And, of course, at times, I lord this fact over him. 
Like this morning. As we got to the corner where he would turn home with our older dog, who can’t make the walk all the way to my daughter’s school, my husband looked down skeptically at our youngest dog. Four year old, Rev, is exuberant, energetic, and at times, a royal pain in the…well, you know what. We always walk him on a harness for added control and because he’s been known to slip out of his collar. In fact, I’m the one who instituted this harness walking rule. About a year ago, I told my husband that Rev is never, ever, ever to be walked without his harness after he had slipped out of the collar a few times. 
So, there we are on the corner. I’m ready to take our daughter and Rev and out other young dog, Zeke, to the school a block down the road. My husband is ready to take the older dog, Buddy, home. Hubby looks at Rev and looks at the busy road I have to walk down and tells me it probably isn’t a good idea to walk Rev on that busy road, especially since he didn’t have his harness on. Being the brat that I can sometimes be, I proceed to tell that it’s no problem for me to walk Rev on the busy road without his harness. After all, I argue, I’m a professional dog trainer and Rev listens to me. I also go on to blab to my husband that even though I always make him walk Rev on a harness, I’ve secretly walked Rev on a regular collar for months, because I have more control over Rev than he does.
My husband is a saint. Have I mentioned that? A real life, genuine saint, who puts up with my crap with a holy amount of patience. He said nothing and walked home with Buddy. Two minutes later, I’m out on the busy road where I proceed to drop Rev’s leash. Yes, I dropped the damn leash! He starts whipping around in circles, ecstatic to be off leash and free. My daughter is screaming because she’s terrified of the dogs being off leash, running wild. 
Don’t worry, he came right back to me when I called him, but it was a scary few seconds with him loose so close to such a busy road. And, I did have to go home and eat crow. It’s a good thing I married a Saint.
*****
Lori Ryan is an indie author who lives with her husband, two children, three dogs, and a cat in Austin, TX. She is the author of the Sutton Capital Romance Series and is an avid reader of contemporary romance novels. To find Lori’s books, visit her author page on Amazon.

Goddess Fish Presents: Legal Ease by Lori Ryan

Legal Ease: Sutton Capital Series, Book Oneby Lori Ryan
Legal Ease is available from Amazon.
BLURB:
Jack Sutton needs a wife and he needs one now. Jack loved his mother, but she really screwed him over when she set up her will. If Jack doesn’t have a wife by the end of the week, he’ll lose control of the largest chunk of voting stock in his company and will most likely lose his position as CEO as a result.
And Jack’s Aunt Mabry is waiting in the wings to make sure that the terms of the will are enforced. If he doesn’t find a wife, she’ll seize control of the stock so she can install her own son at the helm and she couldn’t care less that her son doesn’t want the job or that he probably won’t be any good at it.
Enter Kelly Bradley, a twenty eight year old college graduate with a spot at Yale Law School but no way to pay for it. Kelly and Jack’s eavesdropping secretary have discovered Jack’s secret need for a wife and Kelly comes up with a plan to fix both of their problems.
Just when Jack needs her, Kelly breezes into his office, introduces herself to his Aunt and cousin, and hands Jack an offer. She will marry him for a year so that he can retain the stock that will keep him in control of Sutton Development if he’ll pay for her to go to law school. Jack has no idea where his beautiful savior came from or who she is but he’s willing to take a chance to save it all.                 The deal may have kept Jack in control at Sutton Development but his private life quickly spirals out of control. Just when Jack realizes that he wants more than a year with Kelly, his wealth puts her in great danger and he is left scrambling to save her life and their future together.           

EXCERPT:
Kelly whipped through the house and up the stairs, calling out for Mrs. Poole as she ran. “Mrs. Poole, come quickly! We have to move. We have to move.” Kelly continued yelling as she ran into her room and grabbed drawers full of clothes and piled hangers with slacks and dresses on them.
Mrs. Poole came up the stairs with a puzzled look on her face. “What on earth are you hollering about, Kelly?” she said as she tried to enter the room. She had to jump out of the way as Kelly made a mad dash to Jack’s room.
“We have to move all of my stuff into Jack’s room,” Kelly said, out of breath from her packing and running. “Jack’s Aunt Mabry is on her way here and she’s staying with us for a couple of weeks,” Kelly blurted out as she ran back down the hall to gather more of her belongings.
“Oh Lord,” Mrs. Poole rolled her eyes and followed after Kelly. She quickly grabbed clothes and toiletries and rushed down the hall to Jack’s room. She and Kelly repeated the trip half a dozen more times as they transferred everything and set it into place. Mrs. Poole cleared out half of Jack’s dresser and closet and made room for Kelly’s things while Kelly folded and put her clothing away to make it appear as though the two had been living in holy matrimony since day one.
Kelly put away the last of her things and took a deep breath. She turned to survey the masculine-looking room. There was a dark mahogany dresser and matching armoire against the deep green walls. Large windows looked out on the same beautiful waterfront view that her guest room windows had shared. She stopped suddenly and held her breath when her eyes landed on the king-sized bed in the center. Until that moment, it hadn’t occurred to her that she and Jack would now have to share a bed. Kelly’s smile fell away as she realized that keeping her attraction hidden from Jack just became a lot more difficult.
Legal Ease is available from Amazon.
AUTHOR BIO:

Lori has had a number of careers before embarking on her newest adventure of writing novels. After graduating from the University of Connecticut School of Law, she practiced law for three years, working primarily in the areas of utilities law and intellectual property litigation.
More recently, Lori owned and operated a dog training business in Austin, Texas, where she specialized in aggression and became an expert in the field of dog bite analysis. Lori sold her dog training business in 2013 and is now a full time writer and mother of two.
Lori still lives in Austin with her husband -- who is endlessly supportive of her changing career paths -- and her two children, one cat, and three dogs.
How can your readers follow you?
To follow me on Facebook, visit: http://www.facebook.com/loriryanromance
To visit my website, visit: http://www.loriryanromance.com/
Want to be a part of my online street team? Email me at Loriryanauthor@gmail.com and put the words ‘street team’ in the subject line. I’ll email you back with directions for joining my team.
To join my email list to receive updates and news, including sneak peeks and free giveaways or contest news, visit http://www.loriryanromance.com/#!join-my-mailing-list/cdpp. 

Lori will be awarding a $25 Amazon Gift Card to a randomly drawn commenter during the tour, so please leave a comment to better your chances of winning. The tour dates can be found here: http://goddessfishpromotions.blogspot.com/2013/04/virtual-super-book-blast-legal-ease.html

Book Review: Legal Ease by Lori Ryan

Legal Ease: Sutton Capital Series, Book Oneby Lori Ryan
Legal Ease is available from Amazon.
BLURB:

Jack Sutton needs a wife and he needs one now. Jack loved his mother, but she really screwed him over when she set up her will. If Jack doesn’t have a wife by the end of the week, he’ll lose control of the largest chunk of voting stock in his company and will most likely lose his position as CEO as a result.
And Jack’s Aunt Mabry is waiting in the wings to make sure that the terms of the will are enforced. If he doesn’t find a wife, she’ll seize control of the stock so she can install her own son at the helm and she couldn’t care less that her son doesn’t want the job or that he probably won’t be any good at it.
Enter Kelly Bradley, a twenty eight year old college graduate with a spot at Yale Law School but no way to pay for it. Kelly and Jack’s eavesdropping secretary have discovered Jack’s secret need for a wife and Kelly comes up with a plan to fix both of their problems.
Just when Jack needs her, Kelly breezes into his office, introduces herself to his Aunt and cousin, and hands Jack an offer. She will marry him for a year so that he can retain the stock that will keep him in control of Sutton Development if he’ll pay for her to go to law school. Jack has no idea where his beautiful savior came from or who she is but he’s willing to take a chance to save it all.                 The deal may have kept Jack in control at Sutton Development but his private life quickly spirals out of control. Just when Jack realizes that he wants more than a year with Kelly, his wealth puts her in great danger and he is left scrambling to save her life and their future together.         

Review:


Legal Ease by Lori Ryan is the first book in the Capital Sutton series. Surprisingly, it is a "marriage of convenience story", which is uncommon in this day and age. Even more surprising, it is a contemporary (rather than a historical) novel about two people who marry for practical reasons but fall in love despite themselves. It is an easy, engrossing story to follow.


Kelly Bradley is a smart, competent woman who has been admitted to law school. She wants to acquire a legal degree in order to help people...the only trouble is finding a way to pay for her education.  Enter Jack Sutton, a hard-driving corporate executive bound by the terms of his mother's will--to marry by his thirty-fifth birthday--or lose control of the company his father built. 
Through the clever machinations of Jennie--Kelly's friend and Jack's secretary--Kelly and Jack meet and realize a means of solving their respective problems. They agree to marry for the period of one year. Jack keeps his company. In exchange, he pays for Kelly's law school. They move into Jack's mansion together, and discover an intense mutual attraction to one another. Once their attraction to one another becomes clear, their relationship develops with relatively little difficulty.
Both Kelly and Jack are such honest, decent people. Both are good-looking, intelligent, and likeable. Even though Jack is allegedly a disreputable womanizer, he fails to act like one. For this reader, it was a stretch to believe that Kelly and Jack both remained single and solidly unattached. In real life, both hero and heroine would have been snatched up long ago.
As a whole, the narrative relies heavily on external conflict to drive the plot.  Throughout the story, Jack's detestable elderly aunt is gunning for him, determined to oust him from his position and expose his marriage as a sham. He treats her with a remarkable amount of patience and tolerance, once again proving he is a truly sweet person.
Near the end of the story, the plot diverges from the obvious path, taking a rather strange turn into kidnapping and human trafficking. Without giving away spoilers, I must state that it caught me entirely by surprise and wasn't at all what I expected. Love scenes are spicy, lacking specific details, largely focused on the emotional interaction between the hero and heroine.  Legal Ease is definitely a quick, pleasurable read and I'd recommend it to anyone looking for a contemporary romance with an old-fashioned twist.
Legal Ease is available from Amazon.   

Goddess Fish Presents: The Perfect Duke by Dawn Ireland

THE PERFECT DUKE
By
Dawn Ireland
ASIN: B00BT0NGOC
BUY LINK:Amazon 

BLURB:   Known as The Marble Duke amongst the Ton, Garret Weston, the Duke of Kendal sets himself apart from his peers. Nothing will hinder his guilt-driven attempt to become a perfect duke.  Nothing that is, save the alluring and imaginative betrothed he’d thought dead. His intended believes-of all things-that she is a Vicar’s daughter. The “perfect” duke needs a “perfect” duchess, but how was he to discern her suitability? Employing her as a governess to his niece seemed like an ideal solution. But whose “suitability” is being tested? His betrothed refuses to see he is beyond redemption. And most grievous of all, she stirs his blood, making him forget what’s important.
Cara believes fairy tales really can come true, until she meets the unrelenting and arrogant Duke of Kendal. He looks like a Prince, but acts like a Beast. Why must he challenge her at every turn? Her greatest peril is her attraction to the vulnerable, seductive man behind the title. A match between them would be impossible. But can she show him, without losing her heart, that “perfect” is in the eye of the beholder?  
EXCERPT:  
Garret’s voice stopped Cara before she reached the door. “What of the cut on my chest?”
She turned back, fighting to sound normal. “It didn’t look that bad.”
He picked up the cloth, soaped it, then stalked toward her. Everything about him belied fluid grace as he handed her the fabric, a challenge in his gaze.
With as much indifference as she could muster, she dabbed at the cut on his chest.
“Harder,” he breathed, his dark velvet voice sending shivers down her spine. “You’ll not hurt me.”
She cleansed the cut, admiring the feel of the hard muscle beneath the cloth. Her fingertips extended beyond the material to caress his moisture-slicked skin. She stepped closer, until his chest was the only thing in her vision.
The rag dropped between them. Of their own volition her fingers spread, pressing her hands flat against the hard contours of his body. She began an exploration, noting the fine dusting of curling golden hair that tickled her palms as she moved them upward.
The smell of the ointment clung to him, but it couldn’t block his alluring scent, a mixture of brandy, wood, and spiciness. She inhaled deeply, savoring the heady combination as she ran one fingertip around his nipple, marveling at the pebbling on the outside edge.
Part of her brain acknowledged she shouldn’t be doing this, but she couldn’t seem to stop.

BUY LINK:Amazon

AUTHOR BIO:
“Once Upon a Time” are four of Dawn’s favorite words. Her love of story became a love of romance when she read Georgette Heyer’s, Devil’s Cub. It inspired her to write stories with strong characters that discover love is never easy, but always worthwhile. Dawn’s written several award-winning novels set in Georgian England – an era filled with rules and intrigue. Her characters often defy “Society” as they pursue love, run away, pursue, run away – well, you get the idea.  
Then again, she might write romance in order to do the research. What other profession encourages you to sit in the audience at Harlequin’s Male Model search, and take notes, or just sigh?
Dawn lives in a Victorian home in Upstate New York with her husband and very independent cats. When she’s not writing, she’s singing, gardening, learning to play the harp or wood carving. If you’d like to learn more about Dawn and her novels, go to her website at www.dawn-ireland.com    LINKS:WebsiteBlogFacebook
One randomly chosen commenter will receive a $20 Amazon gift card. Please follow the tour and comment in order to better your chance of winning.  The tour dates can be found here:  http://goddessfishpromotions.blogspot.com/2013/04/super-book-blast-perfect-duke-by-dawn.html

Goddess Fish Presents: Beauty Touched the Beast / Beneath the Beauty by Skye Warren

THE BEAUTY SERIES
Beauty Touched the Beast / Beneath the Beauty
by Skye Warren


BLURB:

Erin cleans Mr. Morris’s house twice a week, soaking up every moment with the reclusive ex-soldier she secretly loves. Blake Morris knows he’s scarred both inside and out and is no good for the beautiful young woman who cleans his house to pay for college. But when Erin walks in on Blake touching himself and moaning her name, all bets are off.
Beauty Touched the Beast is a short erotic story of lovers finding refuge with each other. Not for those under 18 years of age or those uncomfortable with the subject matter.
BUY LINKS:  (FREE READ)
Amazon     Barnes and Noble

Beneath the Beauty
In the long anticipated sequel to Amazon Erotica Bestseller Beauty Touched the Beast, Erin and Blake explore their new intimacy and encounter old enemies.

When Blake receives an offer to return to his alma mater as associate professor, he knows this is his chance to reenter the world—and to be worthy of the woman he loves. Erin wants this chance for him to heal… even if it means leaving her behind.

Beneath the Beauty is an erotic story told in serial format. Don’t miss the sexy initial installment, Beauty Touched the Beast, available now.

BUY LINKS:  
Amazon   
EXCERPT:
He flashed her what was she supposed was a conciliatory smile but looked more like a grimace. And that made her think of what he looked like when he climaxed. Dammit.
She really should shut up now, but she couldn’t seem to stop. “I was wondering if you, that is, if you werethinking of me…weren’t you?” she asked.
His eyes widened even as his lips tightened.
“Well, it’s only that, I wondered if… if it was just a passing thought or if it was more ... ” She trailed off.
He looked alarmed now and she cursed herself silently. “Erin,” he said, his voice strangled. “You don’t feel that I was asking you to do anything…inappropriate, do you? That I would try to make you do something—something you didn’t want?”
“No!” she exclaimed in dismay. “Of course not. I just meant that, well, if you were interested in me that way, well, I—” She took a deep breath and rushed out, “I wouldn’t necessarily be opposed to it.”
“You—” He broke off. She noticed detachedly that his hand was gripping the counter so tight his knuckles were white. He swayed forward as if to approach her but then leaned back. “Are you sure? Are you sure you don’t feel pressured? I would never ever want you to feel that you had to—”
“No, no. It’s not that, I swear. And the same goes for you, too. If you don’t want to, please don’t feel that you must—”
“If I don’t want to,” he repeated, sounding dazed. His eyes unfocused for a minute, and then pinned her. He stepped forward and then circled around, standing behind her. Her hair rustled and scalp tingled where his face leaned into her hair, as if he were scenting her.
He trailed a finger lightly from the crown of her head, down her hair, along her shoulder and her arm. It wasn’t an overtly sexual touch, but she found it highly erotic. The past two days of heightened arousal boiled over in her until she felt strung out with need.
“Please,” she whimpered, shocked at herself even as she said it. She considered herself a proud woman, probably to her detriment. Her circumstances, cleaning houses while her classmates drove their Mercedes to class, ought to bring her down, but she would not be cowed. She was like him—she never begged, not for anything, money, favor and certainly not sex. Yet here she was wanting—no, needing him, a feeling foreign but very real.

AUTHOR BIO:
Skye Warren writes unapologetic erotica, where pain and sex and love collide. Her books have and has reached the bestseller lists at Amazon and been a Night Owl Reviews Top Pick.
Website: http://www.skyewarren.com/Twitter: http://twitter.com/skye_warrenFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/skyewarren



Skye will be awarding a $25 Amazon Gift Certificate to one randomly drawn commenter during the tour. Please leave a comment for your chance to win. The tour dates can be found here:  http://goddessfishpromotions.blogspot.com/2013/04/super-book-blast-beauty-touched-beast.html

Bewitching Book Tours Presents: In Flames by Jessica Jayne

 
Be sure to enter the World Tour Giveaway!
In Flames Jessica JayneGenre:  Contemporary Erotic RomancePublisher:  Evernight PublishingISBN:  978-1-77130-387-3ASIN:  B00CIOFYVGNumber of pages:  110Word Count: 42,780Cover Artist:  Sour Cherry Design
Buy links: Evernight     Amazon
ARe      Bookstrand
Book Description: 
Gracelyn Riley married a firefighter.  She knew that came with risks.  But she never imagined herself widowed in her early thirties with two children to care for on her own. 
As a fireman, Matt Riley was at the scene when his brother, Chad, was killed.  He suffered greatly from survivor’s guilt and depression after the accident.
The last year has been difficult for both Gracelyn and Matt.  They’ve relied on each other to get through the tough times.  With the anniversary of Chad’s death upon them, Gracelyn and Matt once again turn to each other for comfort and support.  They find it in each other’s arms (and bed).  Will their desire for each other consume them?  Can they overcome the guilt and scrutiny to find love again…together?
Excerpt:
     “He wasn’t the perfect husband,” Gracelyn said.  “I learned about the women.  I was so angry with him.  So angry.  He risked our marriage and our family for a few hot fucks.  One of the hardest things I ever did was tell him to leave our home… that I needed to separate from him so I could sort it out on my own.  And then, a week later he is gone… for good.  I felt so guilty. I loved him.  I really did.  And he was a great father.  I miss him.”  Tears started to flow down her face.
     “I miss him too,” Matt said.  He gave her hand a squeeze.  “Gracey, I know you loved him.  He knew you loved him.  I know he made mistakes in your relationship, but he did love you… a lot… even if he didn’t always show it properly.  And he was going to work his ass off to save your marriage.”  Matt wiped her tears away with the back of his hand.

     “This is just so hard, Matty.  Raising Jenna and Josh on my own.  It’s a big responsibility when both parents are around, but on my own… I feel like I am screwing everything up,” she cried.  “Shit around the house that he would normally take care of sometimes falls by the way side because I forget about it… like the trash.  And then I see it sitting there and get mad that he isn’t here to take the trash out or mow the lawn or help the kids with their math homework.  He was always better with math than I was.  Not to mention, I feel so damn alone.”  She looked up at him.  Her blue eyes sparkled through her tears. 

     “You know you can always count on me,” Matt said.  He put his arms around her and cradled her.  “I’ll help with Jenna and Josh as much as I can.  And you know Mom and Pop will always be here to help too.  And when I don’t have Brian on the weekend, I can be here to do whatever you need…like I have been.”

     “I can’t ask you to do more than you already do,” she said.  “You already do so much… too much.  You attend the kids’ events and games.  You help take care of the yard… fix the little things around the house… make sure my car is always up and running.  You need to have a life.  You can’t spend your free time taking care of your brother’s widow all the time.”

     “Gracey, you are more than just Chad’s widow.  You’re family.  And you have always been a friend.  You’ve been a tremendous support for me.  I wouldn’t have made it through this last year without you.  I will do whatever I can to help you.  You know that.  We’ve helped each other through this last year and I’m not abandoning you now.  I’ll always be here for you.” 

     “I just don’t want to be alone anymore,” she cried into his shoulder.  Her hands gripped his t-shirt desperately.  Matt held her tight.  Tears welled in his own eyes.  The past year had been difficult for everyone, especially Gracelyn.  But she’d always stayed strong…whether for the kids, for everyone else or for herself.

      They had shared tears together over the last year, but he had only witnessed her completely break down twice.  First, when she found out about the accident.  Matt wouldn’t let anyone else break the news to her.  He had been at the scene when the accident happened.  Several firefighters had to restrain him to keep him from rushing back into the collapsing building to get to his brother.  The fire chief wanted to tell Gracelyn about Chad’s death, but Matt refused that as an option.  He and Gracelyn were close and he did not want her to find out from anyone other than him, so he rode with the chief to her house.  She knew the minute she opened the front door and saw him standing in his turnout pants, t-shirt and suspenders with his face all smudged black from the smoke and his own tears.  She collapsed in his arms when he confirmed it.  And then when they buried Chad, Gracelyn broke down for the last time… at least in front of anyone else.  Maybe she sobbed every night in the shower or lying in bed by herself.  But he had not seen it.  The sight of her in his arms now… it just broke his heart.

     Gracelyn lifted her head and looked at him through her tears.  Matt gently touched her face with the back of his hand, in an attempt to wipe away her tears and soothe her.  Leaning into him, she pressed her lips to his.  At first, Matt didn’t comprehend what was happening.  Her lips were soft against his, yet she kissed him so confidently.  Her fresh strawberry scent enveloped him… so sweet… so intoxicating.  She smelled like summer despite it being the end of September.
     Matt’s mind told him to stop the kiss.  Stop it before it went any farther.  But her tongue slid against the seam of his lips and his head jumbled with a mix of thoughts—none of which were coherent.   
About the Author:  I am a born and raised small town Ohio girl, who moved to the Sunshine State after graduating from college. I graduated with a bachelor's degree in English because I could not imagine doing anything else but reading and writing. It is such a pleasure to be able to share all the stories in my head! In the journey of life, I also became a wife and a mother of three children. So, life is always an adventure. But the love of writing has never died. 
My favorites:  I love to read and write... obviously! But I also enjoy all sports, especially college football and the Ohio State Buckeyes!  Go Steelers!  Go Rays! I LOVE to travel... LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to travel. And I love sharing my love to travel with my children. I love to drink Teavana teas! I love a good glass of wine, especially if it comes from a bottle made by the FOOLS wine club… yep, I’m a member of that!    I love hanging out with my family and my friends!  Big fan of music, but love nothing better than putting on my jean shorts, tank top, cowboy boots and hat and watching Tim McGraw belt it out!  I’m a sucker for a cowboy hat!  
Favorite quote:  “If nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies.”


Jessica, please tell us about yourself and your writing. 
Hmmm… let’s see!  I was born and raised in a small town in northeast Ohio.  Went to the same high school (and scarily had some of the same teachers) as my parents.  Grew up loving football, playing cops and robbers outside with my friends and dodging broken hearts while I dealt out a few of my own.  ;)  After I graduated from college, I moved down to the Sunshine State.  Yep, there’s a lot of sun here and a lot of humidity, but if you have all day to spend at the beach, life is easy breezy!  In between some travel adventures, I met a wonderful man that I married and we now have three amazing children.  My days at the beach are not as frequent or as long, but I will admit nothing quite calms my soul like a beautiful sunset and the sound of the ocean.  
And through all this time of growing up and maturing, I have been writing.  Since I was able to spell words and could form coherent sentences, I’ve been writing.  For the most part, I’ve always written something that had an element of romance.  I’m a romantic at heart and nothing ever really compares to that feeling of being in love or lust (hehe).  When I initially started taking my writing more seriously, I noticed that I had a hard time keeping the sex out of the stories.  I had people tell me it was better to keep the sex to the reader’s imagination.  Really?  So, I tried to carve out the intense build ups to sex because those would only lead to intense sex and well, that is better left to the reader’s imagination, right?  I struggled for a few years because I thought I’d never get anything published.  My writing was too sexy for mainstream, so I didn’t submit it. Then I found the erotic romance genre and I found a home.  J  I found that some people do actually enjoy the erotic element of the stories.  The readers still want the romance, but they want to hear about how things unfold in the bedroom or on the kitchen counter or in the backseat of the car or on top of the desk or in the elevator… if you know what I mean.  ;)
How long have you been writing?
I kind of answered this one above.  (Looks sheepish)
Do you have a process for coming up with character names and book titles?
I don’t really have a process.  I keep a running list of names that I like.  When a character comes into my head, sometimes he or she already comes with a name and my job is easy.  Sometimes not.  Then I consult my list of names to see if there is anything that strikes me as fitting for the character running rampant in my head.  I have had stories where the character’s name changed midway through the book because the name just wasn’t working for me.  It doesn’t happen often, but it has happened.
The more interesting question is how does one come up with the title of a book.  And I will admit, I have no flipping idea.  I have zero process for this.  For me, this is the hardest part of getting my stories ready for submission.  On a few occasions, the title was there.  But most of the time, I find myself brainstorming with friends (some authors… some not) trying to pull together some words or phrases to start jarring a title together.  It needs to be catchy.  It needs to stand out.  By the time I’m ready to submit the piece, I’ve come up with something that I feel best describes my thoughts on the book as a whole.  
What inspired your current book? 
This book was inspired by a scene.  And that scene was inspired by a friend’s experience.  I had a male friend that was involved with a married woman.  (I know… I know… but reality is that affairs do happen.)  And he confided in me about a situation wherein he and the woman met for dinner.  They decided to stop seeing each other and agreed to go their separate ways, except once he walked her to her car and she kissed him goodbye on the lips, he couldn’t stop what happened next.  I thought… hmmmm… there’s a story in there somewhere!
I’ve been told that my writing style is a bit odd.  Whether that’s true or not, I have no idea.  But I get a scene and characters in my head.  It just sort of takes over my brain and I have to get it out.  Everything is in pretty basic form and gets more developed as the story, itself, develops.  
For In Flames, the scene when Matt and Gracelyn leave the restaurant and one thing leads to another in the backseat of Gracelyn’s car is what started this story.  I had two characters that couldn’t be together for some reason, but yet couldn’t keep their hands off each other.  Affairs are frowned upon in the romance genre… well, because a lot of people read them to find the happily ever after.  I drafted the bare bones scene and let the characters live in my head for a while.  I played around with a few different scenarios.  But what got me emotional was the idea that Gracelyn had been married to Matt’s brother, Chad, who passed away while fighting a fire.  Bam!  There it was.  I built the story around that! 
Thank you so much for the great interview questions.  And thank you for hosting me and my latest release, In Flames, on your Snarkology blog!  I appreciate it! 
Where to find Jessica Jayne on the web: Blog Goodreads Facebook Twitter:  @JessicaJayne13
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A Bed of Roses

According to Wikipedia, a bed of roses is defined as: an English expression, which means an easy and peaceful life.

Let me tell you: it ain't so.

Finally having overcome her trauma associated with the events of May 10th, Mrs. Snark took Miss Bear out for another bike ride. 

Destination: grocery store.
Weather: not a cloud in the sky.

It seemed simple enough: ride to and from the grocery store with Miss Bear in tow in order to buy corn on the cob for dinner. Easy, right?

Alas, fate had other plans. Mrs. Snark performed a sharp right turn in a median and Miss Bear's trailer got caught on the raised concrete sides. The bike tipped over and Mrs. Snark landed amid a bunch of rose bushes.

Mrs. Snark's hand and leg were scraped up, and a fingertip punctured. Miss Bear was traumatized by the sudden stop but otherwise unharmed.

Mrs. Snark: 0
Rose Bushes: Won

Blood poured from several points on Mrs. Snark, which set Miss Bear to sobbing. "Ow! Owie!"

The Middle Son pulled the bike off of his mother and otherwise performed triage. Mrs. Snark limped into Safeway, still bleeding, and a nice employee provided her with a bandage to stop the bleeding finger.  Miss Bear said "Boo-Hoo-Hoo!" because she really wanted that Band Aid for herself. 

You haven't experienced guilt until you've denied a toddler a Band Aid.

Once home, Mrs. Snark declared: "My hand hurts so I don't want to submerge it in water. All men report to the kitchen to assist with dinner prep!"

Man, you've never heard so much complaining.

Snark boys were shocked to discover that corn comes packaged in husks, which must be removed before it becomes edible! GASP.

Envision Mr. Snark holding a raw chicken breast in one hand and pair of meat scissors in the other, face contorted in an expression of disgust. You've never heard a man whine so much. 

"This is disgusting!"
"Just cut away the parts that you wouldn't want to eat--tendons and veins."
"I don't want to eat anything that looks like this!"
"Stop being such a baby. This isn't rocket science."
"I don't know what I'm doing!"
"You have three degrees and you're telling me you can't clean raw meat?"
"I may never eat chicken again!"
"Yeah yeah. That was only the first breast; you've got four more to go."

I'm thinking of buying a Michelin Man suit before I go biking again...