Edward Lorn's Blog, page 73
May 20, 2015
Reading progress update: I’ve read 39 out of 692 pages.
Crouch End, as read by Tim Curry, is one of the best audiobook performances I’ve heard, and the story deserves every single star I can give it because it’s creepy-good.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1170141/reading-progress-update-i-ve-read-39-out-of-692-pages
Reading progress update: I’ve read 12 out of 692 pages.
I’ve probably read the stories in this book more than any other collection King’s ever published. But I’ve never listened to the audiobook, which is split up into three books. This series of one-sentence reviews (like I did with Night Shift and Skeleton Crew) will include the narrator of each story, as I believe they’re all different. Also the stories are out of order due to length. I think they were going for a uniform length with the audiobooks, because the first one is nine hours and so is the second one. The third one is just over seven hours. Anyfloop! On with the one-sentence reviews.
Suffer the Little Children, as read by Whoopi Goldberg, gets three stars for rehashing that old Invasion of the Body Snatchers plot horror authors are so fond of.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1170093/reading-progress-update-i-ve-read-12-out-of-692-pages
May 19, 2015
I am an Author
Dear Authors, repeat after me:
I am an author.
If I have to explain my work, I have failed.
If I have to defend my work, I have failed.
If I have to harass people into sampling my work, I have failed.
I value a reader’s opinion but am not defined by it.
My work should speak for itself. If it cannot, I have failed.
My first duty is to entertain.
My second duty is to continue to hone my craft.
My final duty is to move on to the next project.
I am an author.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1169917/i-am-an-author
Library Sale Book Haul!
I love days like this. I have a smile plastered on my mug a mile wide and six-feet tall.
The Fam and I left the Lorn Complex and went out into the world today. Lucky, too, as the library was having a All You Can Stuff in a Sack Sale. $2 for as many books as you could pack into a plastic Walmart bag. Oh, son, we made out like bandits. Six bucks got us over thirty books, and most were in like new/new condition, without stickers or lamination.
If you want to see all of the pictures, my wife’s and kids’ hauls included, check out my Instagram HERE. Below you will find my haul.
I scored trade paperbacks of King’s The Waste Lands (like new condition, fifth printing) and 11/22/63. I have these in hardcover and the Dark Tower book in a Plume first edition, but I just couldn’t pass this up. Now I have a reader copy for my upcoming reread of 11/22/63 and I won’t have to resort to ebook or audio for fear of damaging my first edition hardcover. Yes, yes, I am OCD. When it comes to my collection, I’m very protective. I also grabbed a hardcover of Storm of the Century, which I didn’t have (thought I did, but I didn’t). I own the trade paperback version, but that’s not enough.
Also pictured are:
Paradise, by Toni Morrison (Hardcover)
Ape House, by Sara Gruen (Hardcover. I loved Water for Elephants, so this was a no-brainer)
We Were the Mulvaneys, by Joyce Carol Oates (Trade paperback. I’ve never read anything by Oates.)
Red Hill, by Jamie McGuire (Trade paperback)
The Lovely Bones, by Alice Sebold (Trade paperback. Seen the movie and enjoyed it, but never read the book.)
The Year of Magical Thinking, by Joan Didion (Trade paperback. New-to-me author. I liked the cover.)
The Giver, by Lois Lowry (Paperback. I think I’m the only person who didn’t read this in high school.)
The Red Pyramid, by Rick Riordan (That one is my daughter’s)
and…
If you’re still reading this, thanks. I’m nothing but a major book nerd, and I like sharing stuff with you guys. Thanks for being interested.
*hugs and high fives*
E.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1169891/library-sale-book-haul
May 18, 2015
FOG WARNING (Audible Edition) GIVEAWAY!
I’m giving away three copies of my novella Fog Warning, narrated by Kevin R. Tracy, the voice of Cruelty. The giveaway ends May 31, 2015. Good luck!
Click on the cover to be taken to the giveaway page.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1169470/fog-warning-audible-edition-giveaway
Swerve Review
Review: 
Vicki Pettersson is the love child of Dean Koontz and Gillian Flynn. Okay, she isn’t, but she writes like she is.
Swerve piqued my interest because I’m a sucker for scavenger-hunts-to-stay-alive books in the vain of Laymon’s In the Dark. I also love anything having to do with road trips and/or crazy stalkers. This seemed to have all three boxes checked, so I requested it from NetGalley. And guess what…
We have a winner, folks.
Swerve explodes out of the gate, leaving the reader breathless and confused, not unlike our main character. Kristine is a physician’s assistant, and she and her surgeon fiance, Daniel, have just stopped at a rest area so that Kristine can use the facilities. And then BAM! , we’re off to the races. I had big fun getting chased right alongside Kristine, and if the reveal in the middle of the book hadn’t been so obvious, this little pleasant surprise of a book would have gotten all the stars. Sadly, that reveal spoiled my fun for a hefty chunk of back nine. Luckily, the final stretch of the book is just as amazeballs as the beginning.
I did not expect such brutality from this novel, but that’s a plus in my eyes. Swerve is definitely not for the weak of stomach. There’s this scene in a hotel room involving a dog and… Well, you’ll just have to read it to find out. No worries, the dog lives. No animal cruelty trigger warnings needed.
If I have my research right, Pettersson is an urban fantasy author who is branching out into thriller-chiller territory. Kudos to her. Flexing your literary muscle is never a bad thing, and she has the chops for it. I almost want to pick up her UF books, but urban fantasy has never been my thing. I do, however, hope that she writes another thriller, because this one was aces.
Side note: Count how many times Pettersson uses the word “serve” in this book. It’s not annoyingly repetitive, but you can tell she intended the usage as a wink and a nod to the reader. I for one thought it was well done and her usage witty.
In summation: I’ll be bumping this review when the book comes out on July 17th because I want you to buy this and support Vicki Pettersson. I received a free ARC in return for my honest opinion, which you’ve just read, but I will be buying the hardcover when it comes out. I suggest you do the same.
Final Judgment: Swerves off course for a second, but finds its way home with ease.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1169151/swerve-review
Book Porn #8
I’ve heard mixed things about The Girl on the Train, but both me and the wife are interested AND the book was on sale for 40% off at BAM, so I grabbed it. And then I grabbed a book I’ve heard a lot positive buzz for, Jesse Andrews’s Me and Earl and the Dying Girl. I’ll probably read Dying Girl first.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1169082/book-porn-8
May 17, 2015
It Follows Movie Review
Review:
I watched this one while it was in theaters. I didn’t want to review it until I digested what I saw. Well, it’s fully digested and I don’t think I like it very much. Here’s why.
It Follows follows (see what I did there? *hint hint, wink wink, nudge nudge*) a young woman who’s literally been fucked into a horrible situation. And no, not pregnancy. She’s caught ghost herpes and must pass along the disease before it kills her.
Seriously, how could anyone miss the semi-truck-and-trailer-sized subtext going on in this movie. I get it. Those you fuck follow you around for the rest of your life, so be careful who you fuck. I think the realization concerning what message this movie was trying to convey, even more than the hype surrounding this film, killed it for me.
I’m sorry, but I’m not the guy who judges women based on who or what they previously had inside them. I know society does, but it’s none of my business. Bedroom shenanigans should be kept between those involved in said shenanigans. A vagina is not a conquest. Just because someone’s tread ground there doesn’t make the land any less valuable. Unless they poisoned the water supply, but there’s medication for that.
I kinda/sorta dig what the filmmakers did with the horror element. It Follows has some rather creepy scenes, but it also has a handful of laughable segments that, in places, spoiled the mood for me.
Dig it: You know that scene in that one Kevin James movie… you know what, nevermind, here’s the gif.
That scene is in It Follows. I howled with laughter because it was so terribly out of place. It’s not a horse that does the kicking, but that doesn’t make it any less funny.
In summation: It Follows is your average 70s or 80s stalker-killer horror film with a slightly original killer. Add to that a premise marred by the writers thunderfucking you with their morals, and you have a watchable car accident. Not pleasant, but it won’t make you look away either.
Final Judgment: A big-budget sex-ed film.
P.S. If you want a better version of this film that is essentially the same thing for free, follow this link. No worries. It’s legal and not porn. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9VDvgL58h_Y
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1168582/it-follows-movie-review
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