Edward Lorn's Blog, page 76
May 4, 2015
���The first duty of the novelist is to entertain. It is ...
���The first duty of the novelist is to entertain. It is a moral duty. People who read your books are sick, sad, traveling, in the hospital waiting room while someone is dying. Books are written by the alone for the alone.���
��� Donna Tartt
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1158075/post
Randomized Randomocity #160
Taken from a cooking website:
“Beets will cook more slowly at lower temperature and more quickly at higher temperatures.”
Is there anything that cooks slower at higher temperatures and faster at lower temps?
Honest question.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1158071/randomized-randomocity-160
Confessions of a Hack #4
The only book about writing craft I’ve read is Stephen King’s On Writing. I plan to stop there.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1157873/confessions-of-a-hack-4
May 3, 2015
Less Than Zero Review
Review: 
Less Than Zero is an affecting ridealong in a car full of coke-addled rich kids. The ending is properly shocking. I was, as was intended, thoroughly disgusted, as I’m sure you will be too.
I didn’t like a single character. The book has all the appeal of a trainwreck that causes a chemical spill at your local kindergarten. You don’t read this book for fun. You read it to justify your hatred of humanity and all things wealthy.
Christian Rummel does a fantastic job with the audiobook.
In summation: The stars are for the writing and the fact that the book accomplishes what it sets out to do. It means to sicken, and it does. *slow clap*
Final Judgment: Kill ’em all and let Tom Cruise sort them out.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1157468/less-than-zero-review
FREE short fiction from the Bad Apples crew
Reblogged from: Gregor Xane
Short story month continues and I felt it was appropriate to let folks know about some FREE short fiction available from the semi-humans behind the anthologies Bad Apples: Five Slices of Halloween Horror and Dead Roses: Five Dark Tales of Twisted Love.
“Serving Spirits,” by Adam Light (Download FREE from Amazon)
“Crawlspace,” by Evans Light (Download FREE from Amazon)
“Easy Pickings,” by Jason Parent (Download FREE from Amazon)
“Got Your Goat,” by Edward Lorn (Read it FREE online)
“I Will Tell You About Knoist,” by Gregor Xane (Exclusive to New Release Mailing List Subscribers)
“It Came From Hell and Smashed the Angels,” by Gregor Xane (Download FREE from Amazon, B&N, Kobo, or iTunes)
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1157427/free-short-fiction-from-the-bad-apples-crew
May 2, 2015
Do Not Disturb Review
Review:
Before I get throng-fucked by fans, you should know that I thoroughly enjoyed the first book in the Deanna Madden series. I’m not a “hater”. I truly wanted to enjoy this book. I liked the idea of a cam-girl who has locked herself away from the world due to her homicidal tendencies. I didn’t see it going past one book (oddly enough, the author admits in the afterword that she didn’t either), but was still looking forward to the sequel. I knew this was a one-trick pony, but I ignored my gut instincts and plunged in anyway.
First and foremost, I must bitch about the cliched bad guy. Marcus is your average rich fuck who likes beating and raping women. He goes to prison for a while, and then is released and put on house arrest. The first half of the book is a literal countdown to the day when he can come and go as he pleases. I’ve seen this character in episodes of Dexter, CSI, Law and Order, and even an episode of Murder She Goddamn Wrote. I’m sure Sherlock Holmes once took on this archetype.
Secondly, Deanna is a true and utter bore this time around. The sexual content is tepid and, at times, completely laughable. I actually chuckled out loud during several of the supposedly “hot scenes”, scenes that seem to have been written by a thirteen-year-old boy who just found out what the word “cunt” means.
Thirdly, there’s this major build-up going on throughout the book only for the action to fizzle and die like a dud firework. The fuse is lit, and its burning away. It reaches the tube where the black powder is stored and then… PFFffftt. The end of this book is about as satisfying as farting and filling your pants with something akin to chocolate pudding. Such a let down, and embarrassing for everyone involved.
Last but not least, I’ll leave you with a quote from the book. I rarely ever quote, but this line was so laugh-worthy and awkward that I had to stop reading and post about it:
“This beautiful creature with the balls of a giant.”
Listen, I know what the author meant, but that line… that line is fucking hilarious. Yes, Deanna is gorgeous and brave, but all I could picture was a unicorn with a hefty sack a’swinging ‘tween its legs. To and fro… back and forth… SWANG DAT BASKET, HUMPTY!
In summation: This is well-written cliched garbage. Torre says in the afterword that she prefers this book to the first one. I guess it’s true what they say: Your own farts smell the best.
Final Judgment: Like reading Dexter with Cinemax After Dark playing in the background.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1157195/do-not-disturb-review
The End is Here
For those of you waiting for the final omnibus in Cruelty’s saga (Episodes Six – Ten), the time has come. Click on the cover for Amazon US. Links to international sites are below the image.
Feel free to share anywhere you wish.
Thank you for your continued support, and I hope you enjoy.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1157058/the-end-is-here
Randomized Randomocity #159
I woke up this morning with one urgent question on my mind.
Am I a bad bitch, or a basic bitch?
#lifesmysteries
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1156700/randomized-randomocity-159
May 1, 2015
Bittersweet Book Haul #bookporn
Bad news first. Some waste of space stole my son’s tablet out of our vehicle while we were out today. My daughter put it in the pocket behind the driver’s seat, and when we got home, we realized it wasn’t there. The screen’s cracked and the usb port barely works, but Chris loved it. Chris is handling it well, but Autumn (my daughter) is really torn up over it. She feels responsible. I understand that, but it’s just a thing. I’ve lost plenty of things. Things can be replaced. Speaking of things being replaced…
The positive side of today is, we had an amazing day out. Autumn snagged the second Percy Jackson book, Chris got a Paw Patrol board book, Chelle (my wife) got some new shirts (sexy stuff, I might add), and I scored a piece of history at a used book store that I later traded to an antique book dealer for this gem…
That, my friends, is a first edition ‘Salem’s Lot. This treasure is also the final piece of my collection. I now own a first edition of every one of King’s books. All 63 of them. Some are in better conditions than others, some are later printings, but they are all the same editions that once graced my mother’s shelves so many years ago. This makes me smile.
Finally, I grabbed a bunch of clearance-rack items at BAM. Here’s the entirety of today’s haul. From top to bottom:
Moby Dick – $3
Sea of Monsters (Percy Jackson #2) – $8
‘Salem’s Lot – I’d rather not say :)
Palisades Park – $5
The Interestings – $5
Now to get the boy child a new tablet…
Take care of yourselves.
E.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1156496/bittersweet-book-haul-bookporn
Edward Lorn's Blog
- Edward Lorn's profile
- 2926 followers
