Edward Lorn's Blog, page 51
September 14, 2015
Hannibal: Season Two Review
Review: 
Unfortunately, I found Season Two only slightly better than season one, and only because they strayed from the CSI: Virginia series arc. Gone are the near-constant crime scenes. They are replaced with character arcs. This is a good thing, but the plot is still terribly predictable. And that’s all because of an early episode where Will and Jack are ice fishing. If you pay attention to that scene, the end of the season is spoiled. I suppose this tactic would work if we had to wait a week between episodes, but marathoning them, watching one episode every night, my wife and I were able to accurately predict all of the major plot twists. That was disappointing. With that being said, we did enjoy ourselves.
Some of my enjoyment came from the tie-ins with the books. This television series is a perfect example of how to successfully adapt a book into another medium while being unfaithful. Your adaptation doesn’t have to follow the source material word for word, scene by scene, to be good. But it must hit the same notes. I really dug how Mason Verger was added in, and how Will ends up receiving the same wound he speaks about in Red Dragon. I’m not thrilled that it seems Hannibal Lecter will never see his time behind bars, but I dig that Will took on that role for a while. The Chilton subplot was cool, too.
The biggest compliment I can give this series is the fantastic production quality of every episode. The series is gorgeous and visceral. The makeup effects are some of the best in the business, and nowhere is that more obvious than Season Two’s finale.
And the fight scenes… Wow. They are, without a doubt, my favorite part of the show. Bravo.
My biggest problem with the show, once again, is the writing. All the twists and turns of the season finale are phoned in at the beginning of the season. Why this choice was made is beyond me. I was happy to see that there were fewer filler episodes, and that the filler episodes we did have served the plot to a point, but I felt the overall story arc could have been hidden a little better. I know people love the writing, but I don’t think it’s actually the writing they love. I think most people are confusing the fantastic direction and cinematography for writing. When you strip away the amazing production value and the incomparable acting, you have a skeletal tree with terribly thin branches. Any plot that banks on its viewership’s bad memory isn’t a very good plot. This show actually hopes you’ll forget what happened earlier in the season so it can trick you with the finale. Sleight of hand is fun and whatnot, but not when I can see the magician stuffing cards up his sleeve.
I will say this: This show knows its strengths and uses them to its advantage. Whether or not they are using them as a crutch is for you to decide.
In summation: Hannibal is an addictive experience beautifully rendered. The acting, direction, and special FX are mind blowing, the plot is not. Unless of course you suffer from short-term memory loss.
Final Judgment: Easter-eggy goodness.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1254019/hannibal-season-two-review
September 13, 2015
Stand-Off Review
Review:
Andrew Smith is one of my new favorite authors, and Ryan Dean West is one of my favorite fictional characters because he doesn’t feel like a fictional character. He deals with real problems and usually fucks up because he’s human. There’s a big difference between Winger and Stand-Off, but that’s not a bad thing.
Stand-Off reminded me a lot of the video game Bully, whereas Winger reminded me of that eighties flick Lucas. Who out there remembers Lucas? Corey Haim and Kerri Green, and Charlie Sheen before he started banging coke and hookers in equal amounts? #tigerblood #duhwinning
Winger was a wonderful novel that had an unforeseen outcome. In Stand-Off, I expected the same thing. I will not spoil the novel for you by telling you the ending, but I was taken aback by how poignant and hopeful it is in comparison to how soul-crushing the first book was. What I can say is that Stand-Off is the complete opposite of Winger, yet it retains everything I loved about the first book. I don’t see how Smith could do a third book, seeing as how this was Ryan Dean’s last year at Pine Mountain, and that breaks my heart. I would love more from these characters.
I was glad to see Annie and Seanie return. Spotted John was a trip, and in my opinion, wins the book. He reminded me quite a bit of Red in The Shawshank Redemption with how he could get his hands on anything. I even liked the Abernathy. The character development between Sam and Ryan Dean was handled very well. Their interactions were highlights for me. The dialogue assignment they do had me busting a gut… Do yourself a favor, just read it.
If someone were to ask me if they could read one book without the other, I’d have to say no. To receive the full effect of Stand-Off, you most definitely need to read Winger first. You won’t necessarily be lost if you skip the first book, but the second book will certainly not have the same emotional impact if you decide to skip Winger. Likewise, if you’ve read Winger, you really should read Stand-off. Yes, they compliment each other that well.
In summation: I can’t find a single negative thing to say about this book or any of its characters. It isn’t as tear-inducing as its predecessor, but I think that helped in making Stand-Off its own thing. For what it lacks in sad happenings it makes up for in good times. Highly recommended.
Final Judgment: Sometimes, you just need a little comedy in your life.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1253642/stand-off-review
September 12, 2015
Dastardly Bastard (Signed Limited Edition) ships Monday!
Those of you who were offered a chance to purchase Dastardly Bastard, your book goes out on Monday. Here are some pics of what you’ll be receiving. Each book part has its own artwork, along with a signature page in the front. Examples of those are below.
Thank you to everyone who bought a copy. Life After Dane and Others & Oddities are coming in the next few months.
*hugs and high fives*
E.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1252237/dastardly-bastard-signed-limited-edition-ships-monday
September 11, 2015
Book Haul (9/11/2015)
Library had a Giving-Stuff-Away day. I got all this for free. Tiny Vader obviously wants to read Snowbrother. I don’t blame him. That cover is awesome.
You can find pictures of individual covers HERE
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1251547/book-haul-9-11-2015
September 9, 2015
One of the most basic assumptions that an audience makes ...
One of the most basic assumptions that an audience makes is that the person who created the entertainment they’re about to enjoy is going to treat them fairly. They assume that everything they witness has a point, and is necessary to the story. Audiences are prepared to accept small exceptions to this rule – writers are allowed a few red herrings and MacGuffins – but break it in a major way and they’re going to feel cheated…
The secret storytelling truth we must mainline:
Be aware of the contract between you and your audience. Everything that happens must happen for a reason, and the more of a big deal you make of an event, the bigger the pay off must be.
Source: LitReactor (Spoiler Alert for True Detective: Season Two)
I suggest every author who sees this read the entire article.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1250348/post
September 8, 2015
September 7, 2015
A Game of Thrones Review
Review:
If you ever want to see grown women defend the sexualization of preteen girls, all you must do is bring up how Mr. Martin handles the relationship between Daenerys and Drogo. All walks of life will come to Martin’s defense with the utterly asinine argument that “Back in the day, little girls were sold into marriage all the time!” Ah, but this isn’t back in the day, is it? This is Westoros, a mythical land. It’s not Earth circa Black Plague. It’s not medieval England. It’s not Persia or Egypt or Jared Fogle’s basement computer. It’s all fiction. But I guess that’s what makes it okay, right? I mean, if I chose to paint pictures of naked children involved in sexual congress with adults, it would be cool so long as I didn’t use child models, right? My point is this: Martin choseto write descriptive sex scenes involving a thirteen-year-old girl, and these scenes are written in such a way as to be tantalizing. He uses the same verbiage as erotica. If you’re cool with that, that’s on you. That, above all else, is why I gave this otherwise terrific book two stars.
Some of you (you know who you are), gave this book five stars while writing one-star reviews of Lolita that read something to the tune of “This is disgusting. What kind of person would write something like this?” My, my, aren’t we wishy-washy on the subject of fictional child sex.
In summation: Book One in the Icy Hot series is pretty all right if you can get past the simulated kiddie porn. I enjoyed the HBO series enough to purchase all of the audiobooks all at once. This is me working my way through them. I do hate that, by the time Martin writes the rest of these books, the narrator Roy Dotrice will likely be in an advanced state of decay. That’s gonna suck, because I enjoy the way he reads these books. But he’s even older than Martin, and Martin is two Snickers bars short of a diabetic coma and a Red Bull away from heart failure.
Final Judgment: Acceptable child pornography.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1248957/a-game-of-thrones-review
Reflections of a Fat Kid #7
I peel and pull and rip and yank until I finally extract my neon-green sour-apple flavored piece of Laffy Taffy from its wrapping and never once concern myself with what that same piece of candy will do to my insides.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1248577/reflections-of-a-fat-kid-7
September 6, 2015
The Last Temptation of Christ Review (Kinda)
Review:
WARNING: If you do not like your faith being questioned or dissected, I suggest you stop reading now. There is a high probability you will be offended. I do not have pleasant views regarding religion and I’d hate to hurt your feelings without warning you first. If you choose to discuss Christianity in the comment section, by all means, go ahead. Know that I am an atheist and that I will respect you as long as you’re respectful. However, I do not respect religion in any form and do not wish to be converted. I’ve had more than enough religion thrust upon me. My view is that religion is like herpes; it’s easy to catch but everyone is better off without it.
The Last Temptation of Christ reads like any good fan fiction. It’s faithful to the original characters while adding enough twists and turns to piss off any avid fan of the source material. This book has been upsetting Christians since it was published because it supposes that Christ had a choice. So much of a choice that when the time came for him to be tempted one last time, he jumped off the cross to answer Mary and Martha’s booty call. (Not his mother Mary… at least I hope not. If it was… just… yuck.) But that’s only the last four chapters. Suffice it to say, I was disappointed. I was hoping for more Naughty Christ shenanigans.
Example: “Jesus jerked himself erect.” Love that quote, even if it is taken out of context.
I approached this read differently, deciding to take on a chapter a day until the book was finished, which came out to be thirty-three days. I looked at it as an assignment. While the concept of this book has always interested me, I’ve never actually wanted to read it. I suppose I could have watched the film adaptation, but I prefer the original over someone else’s interpretation whenever possible. And since I do not know Greek, I had to resort to the English translation. What interested me was the promise of a Christ that was not perfect. If Jesus Christ was real, I suspect this is what actually happened: He was a magician (an illusionist, if you prefer) who was deified because the era and area in which he was born was waiting on a messiah. After his tricks were outed as illusions (more than likely by his homedude Judas), he was crucified for lying about being the son of God. His crew wrote down their version of events, and that became the Bible. I would much rather hear something like the Santa Claus Speech from believers: “Kids, Christ is more of a feeling than he is a real person. People use him to make children (and some adults) behave properly in the hopes that he will bring them gifts ranging from their favorite sports team winning the super-series-pennant-cup-race playoffs all the way up to eternal life, if you can dig it.”
But I digress. Of course your religion is the right one. All these other fools are just barking up the wrong invisible man.
Religion is a reward system that dictates behavior. This author understood that. There are several quotes I highlighted, but my favorite is: “True or false – what do I care! It’s enough if the world is saved.” I won’t tell you what to believe because I don’t want you telling me what to believe. If you want to believe in God so that he keeps bringing you gifts year after year, that’s fine by me. If it helps you be a better person, awesomesauce. If religion makes you want to do good deeds, by all means, do ’em up! What I have a problem with is the vilification of nonbelievers. What also annoys me is the idea that nonbelievers are somehow in danger. Point in fact: I saw someone on Facebook reply to an atheist’s post with: “I know you won’t take me seriously, but if I don’t say something it would be like me watching a good friend stuck in a burning building and not trying to save them. Who wants to burn alive? Not me!” Odd, because, the way I look at it, it’s more like someone standing on the sidewalk screaming up to me that the building is on fire when it’s obviously not. Religion is the only acceptable form of insanity and mob mentality. If you hear voices, you’re mad. If you hear God, you’re a prophet. Dig it: Hearing from God is so acceptable by the religious right that politicians use “God told me to run” in their campaigns, as if that isn’t the wackiest shit. Imagine the results of a politician saying “The Easter Bunny told me to ask for your vote!” or “Martians want me to be president!”
Then you have the people who believe “just in case religion got it right”. My question to them is: How do you know you picked the right religion? Wouldn’t it suck to pop into the afterlife only to find Cthulhu instead of Saint Peter?
In summation: Yes, I have used this review as a soapbox. Not pleasant, is it? Now, if you would like to proclaim how you’ll be praying for me in the comment section, pray on, Christian soldier. I’ve been ostracized by half of my family for not believing, because that’s what Christians are good at. Making everyone else feel wrong by being passive-aggressively right. “You haven’t met the right Christians.” Oh honey… trust me, I’ve met more than enough. As far as the book is concerned, read it or don’t. It won’t make a difference in your life.
Final Judgment: Made me jerk myself erect.
Original post:
edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1248141/the-last-temptation-of-christ-review-kinda
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