Edward Lorn's Blog, page 54

Funniest Video I’ve Seen (NSFW)

 

Okay. We’re all adults here. At least I hope we are. But, before you click on this link, you should know a few things.

 

1) This is a video wherein seasoned porn stars tell stories about their grossest experiences. 

 

2) There are no foul or sexual images, but some of these actors and actresses can spin a tale so well that you will see (and possibly smell) everything. My favorite storyteller of the group is Rain DeGrey. I’ve never seen her in action, but I’d love to read a book by her if she ever wrote one. 

 

3) There is mention of blood and fecal matter and their presence during intercourse. 

 

4) There’s much talk about anal sex, but the most intriguing story (for me at least) was the aforementioned tale told by Rain DeGrey, which had nothing to do with ze butt secks. 

 

5) Knowing all these things, please do not blame me if you are disgusted/mortified/unclean after watching this. I cannot prepare you any further. 

 

So here you go. One of the funniest videos I’ve ever seen. Obvious NSFW is obvious:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XA5j6PBe2s

Original post:

edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1235288/funniest-video-i-ve-seen-nsfw

HANNIBAL S1:E8

 

While I’m not a huge fan yet (some of the leaps in logic the script takes pisses me off because the acting and the direction is amazing and I just wish the writing/plotting were equally great), this series does have its moments. For instance, the fight scene in the eighth episode of season one is one of the most well-shot fight scenes I’ve seen since Casino Royale. The sound effects were on point. I could feel every punch, every kick. I’m damned impressed with the direction of that sequence. 

Original post:

edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1235244/hannibal-s1-e8

Reading progress update: I’ve read 689 out of 1074 pages.

It makes me sad to think that this might be King’s last epic novel. I’m hoping for a hefty conclusion to the Jack Sawyer story, but we will have to wait and see. 

Original post:

edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1235208/reading-progress-update-i-ve-read-689-out-of-1074-pages

Randomized Randomocity #174

My wife put a sheet over the cushion of our big recliner because the dogs have made it their own by staining it with all kinds of mess. They go out and potty and play in the lake and come back in and drop down in the chair to sleep. Well, Coal doesn’t like the sheet. He scratches at it as if he’s digging. 

 

Tonight, a few minutes ago, Coal started his scratching. Chelle, my wife, hollers, “Stop tearing up my sheet!”

 

Coal proceeds to drag his ass across it.

 

My wife didn’t find it funny, but I can’t stop laughing. 

Original post:

edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1235048/randomized-randomocity-174

eRadio 8202015 “I am a satellite I’m out of control.” ~...

eRadio 8202015

 

“I am a satellite I’m out of control.” ~ Queen

 

 

Original post:

edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1231854/post

eRadio 8192015 “We get these pills to swallow.” ~ Queen...

eRadio 8192015

 

“We get these pills to swallow.” ~ Queens of the Stone Age

 

Fun fact: This is one of my favorite songs of all time.

Original post:

edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1231852/post

eRadio 8182015 “Happy birthday, you shithead.” ~ NOiZ...

eRadio 8182015

 

 

“Happy birthday, you shithead.” ~ NOiZEE

 

 

 

Original post:

edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1230948/post

Randomized Randomocity #173

Been feeling a bit down lately. Nothing really wrong. Just stuck in the blahs and I can’t seem to drag my ass out of it. Mid-life crisis maybe? Dad lived until he was 70. As of today, I’m half that. Seems possible. This is why you’ve only been seeing videos and reviews from me. No other posts. Don’t feel up to anything else. I even started back at the gym this morning to see if I could kick start some endorphins. That didn’t work either. Now I’m not only depressed, but depressed and sweaty. Nothing worse than a melancholy perspirer.

Usually when I get depressed I write and it helps knock back the demons for a while. Not so much this go around. I have fuckall to complain about. My family and home life is as terrific as ever and I’m making a living doing what I love. I know depression doesn’t have to have a cause, that I can feel down for no reason whatsoever, but normally there’s a trigger. I keep saying shit like that… usually… normally… as if there’s some kind of standard I can measure this by. Whatever’s hanging over me needs to fuck off. I got shit to do.

This post is pointless, really. Sometimes just writing my feelings out and posting them for everyone to see helps. At this point, I’ll try any damn thing. The doldrums suck, yo.

*hugs and high fives… even if I am a little less energetic than usual*

E.

Original post:

edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1231149/randomized-randomocity-173

Let the Right One In Review

Review:

The character writing is phenomenal. The story is brutal and unsettling and, at times, eerie. It is not only one of the best vampire novels I’ve read, but one of the best horror novels I’ve ever come across. Deserves to be shelved with the greats.

Håkan and Eli’s reunion is now one of my top five most disturbing scenes in literature. It will be a long time before I get that vile shit out of my head, if I ever do.

In summation: This review is short because I have nothing bad to say about Let the Right One In. It is a horror fan’s horror novel. All this coming from a guy who fucking hates vampires.

Final Judgment: Sucks blood not ass.

Original post:

edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1230508/let-the-right-one-in-review

eRadio 8172015 It’s Monday. Time for work. “The prese...

eRadio 8172015

 

It’s Monday. Time for work.

 

“The preservation of the martyr in me.” ~ Slipknot

Original post:

edwardlorn.booklikes.com/post/1228918/post