Azra Tabassum's Blog, page 207

Azra I love your work but I was so disappointed when I found you haven't experienced anything you write about. Please say you have. I want to believe this kind of love exists. I want SOMEONE to know that kind of love because I never will.

Hi! Okay I’m going to say this one last time in the gentlest way that I can. (I am not irritated at you, promise) I’ve received a few messages like this and it’s beginning to grate. Good writing is good writing regardless of who writes it. It doesn’t matter if I’ve experienced nothing or everything. If you enjoy my writing less because you don’t think it’s authentic then you can’t have liked it very much in the first place. The other thing is that I don’t and won’t mention anything that happens in my love life on tumblr. This blog has grown over the past few months and it no longer entirely feels like mine. It’s become a public place somewhat. Even if I was in a relationship, even if I’d fallen in love, I wouldn’t explicitly mention it ever.

Azra, Have you ever kissed a boy/girl before?

I can testify that I have kissed nothing except the back of my hand. Not even Caitlyn. Just don’t ask her about it and you’ll be fine.

justlyrics:"Get Hurt" by The Gaslight Anthem

justlyrics:

"Get Hurt" by The Gaslight Anthem

"When it is but it aintSome of us love badly. Sometimes the love is the type of love that..."

“

When it is but it aint

Some of us love badly. Sometimes the love is the type of love that implodes. Folds in on itself. Eats its insides. Turns wine to poison. Behaves poorly in restaurants. Drinks. Kisses other people. Comes back to your bed at 4am smelling like everything outside. Asks about your ex. Is jealous of your ex. Thinks everyone a rival. Some of us love others badly, love ourselves worse. Some of us love horrid, love beastly. Love sick love anti light. Sometimes the love can’t go home at night, can’t sleep with itself cannot contain itself, catches fire, destroys the belly, strips buildings, goes missing. Punches. Smashes heirlooms. Tells lies. The best lies. Fucks around. Writes poems, impresses people. Chases lovers into corners. Leaves them longing. Sea sick. Says yes. Means anything but. Tricks the body. Kills the body. Dances wild and walks away, smiling.

”

- Yrsa Daley-Ward 

"I knew when I saidI love youthat I was inventing a new alphabetfor a city where no one could..."

“I knew when I said
I love you
that I was inventing a new alphabet
for a city where no one could read
that I was saying my poems
in an empty theater
and pouring my wine
for those who could not
taste it.”

- Nizar Qabbani (1957)

I AM AT THE BUS STOP. A LADY WALKED PAST AND SAID “I like your hat.” AND THEN SHE...

I AM AT THE BUS STOP. A LADY WALKED PAST AND SAID “I like your hat.” AND THEN SHE TOUCHED MY HIJAB. I AM CLOSE TO CRY LAUGHING

Gonna write a book called “How To Stop Caring And Other Things That I Will Absolutely Never...

Gonna write a book called “How To Stop Caring And Other Things That I Will Absolutely Never Learn To Do”

"You went out in search of storm and came back with more than you’d bargained for. And suddenly..."

“

You went out in search of storm and came back with more than you’d bargained for. And suddenly your hands are full of too much rain and you don’t know where to put it all down and you’re not even sure that you want to. Maybe you were bored, or maybe you wanted to be thrown around a little. Maybe there’s something about dangerous things that remind you of the times you were young and you touched burning flames even though you knew it would hurt. Or the first woman you loved who broke your heart and it felt good at the same time. You know pain now, you know how to survive it. Maybe that’s what it was. You just wanted to survive again.

The thing is, before you left, everything was gentle and safe and never overwhelming. You had time to think and uncoil yourself. You were lazy Sundays and sun filled afternoons that felt so good against your skin you thought you’d never want to leave that place again. And why would you? For a tempest? For a fist clutching a spark of lightning? For the burn? And now you’re confused because you’re torn between the safe thing and the thing that will probably ruin you and it’s funny because it hurts and it’s funny because you did it to yourself and it’s not funny because it fucking hurts.

You just know that you can’t have both. You can either stand in the middle of all that brutal and let it wash you up or you can find that safe place and let it be soft for you. But when you’re standing halfway through that storm, and you’re drenched through and your skin is turning itself inside out, and you’re shivering and it’s terrifying and you’ve never felt more fucking alive. That’s it, that’s what you came looking for. You found it. Congratulations. Are you going to hold onto it?

”

- Azra.T “Lighthouse” 

"If you were to press your heart close up against somebody else’s heart eventually your hearts will..."

“If you were to press your heart close up against somebody else’s heart eventually your hearts will start beating at the same time. And two little babies in an incubator, their hearts will beat at the same time. Love that. So if you have somebody in your life that is prone to anxiety, like myself, and if you happen to be a calm person, you could come up and hug me heart to heart and my heart hopefully would slow to yours. And I just love that idea. Or maybe yours would speed up to mine. But either way, we’ll be there together.”

- Andrea Gibson 

I don’t do this very often but I just need everyone to...

I don’t do this very often but I just need everyone to bear with me whilst I SHRIEK OVER THIS