Clare De Graaf's Blog, page 23
September 26, 2016
Is a Single Family Church, Really a Church?
I had a friend of a friend ask this question of him recently. He said, “My wife and I grew up in the traditional church. But when we began having children, that just didn’t seem to work anymore. So my wife and I began our own family church, where we can teach our own children, worship together as a family and where we can grow together spiritually. It’s working for us.”
So, is a church made up of only one family, really a church?
I don’t believe it is. Here’s why:
So, is a church made up of only one family, really a church?
I don’t believe it is. Here’s why:
September 19, 2016
When Helping Hurts
Nearly all of us have been approached by a friend, family member or a member of our church for “a loan.” Sometimes their need is obvious, worthy and we are able to respond with real joy because generosity to the poor is so highly valued by God.
However, there are times when we are asked for help, almost immediately our guard is up. How do we know when it’s wise to help someone, or when helping actually hurts and enables the person we are being asked to assist?
Let’s start with Jesus’ words.
“Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Luke 6:30-38
Choosing how to help others is not always easy. The following are a number of great questions, edited from Ronald Blue and Company, for serious followers of Jesus to ask of themselves to make better decisions in regard to helping others:
However, there are times when we are asked for help, almost immediately our guard is up. How do we know when it’s wise to help someone, or when helping actually hurts and enables the person we are being asked to assist?
Let’s start with Jesus’ words.
“Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” Luke 6:30-38
Choosing how to help others is not always easy. The following are a number of great questions, edited from Ronald Blue and Company, for serious followers of Jesus to ask of themselves to make better decisions in regard to helping others:
September 12, 2016
Ant Language – Part II
Last week I introduced the term “ant language”. If you accept my premise and explanation it will allow you to identify and faithfully hold to the core beliefs of the Christian faith which we’ll get to in this blog and enable you to articulate them to your children. It also helps explain why serious Christians who love God and have a high view of scriptures can disagree on so many doctrinal and faith practice issues.
The vast majority of Christians have believed certain core doctrines for 2,000 years, like the deity, life, death, burial and resurrection of Jesus. Those beliefs must be held by every individual who claims to be a Christian. But who can honestly say that they truly understand the deeper mysteries of the doctrine of atonement, all the implications the resurrection for believers today, what goes on spiritually when a person is born again, baptized or when we’re taking communion?
Younger people see debates on these issues of theology where good Christians differ, not only as energy leaks, but the attitude and arrogance of the debaters themselves as sinful. It doesn’t shore up their faith. They want to run for the door. And they are. I think we can do something about that.
The vast majority of Christians have believed certain core doctrines for 2,000 years, like the deity, life, death, burial and resurrection of Jesus. Those beliefs must be held by every individual who claims to be a Christian. But who can honestly say that they truly understand the deeper mysteries of the doctrine of atonement, all the implications the resurrection for believers today, what goes on spiritually when a person is born again, baptized or when we’re taking communion?
Younger people see debates on these issues of theology where good Christians differ, not only as energy leaks, but the attitude and arrogance of the debaters themselves as sinful. It doesn’t shore up their faith. They want to run for the door. And they are. I think we can do something about that.
September 5, 2016
Could Many of Our Theological Differences Simply Be “Ant Language”
“When two denominations, or theologians who love God deeply and both have a high view of scripture, disagree on a doctrinal issue, the problem may be ant language.”
When I gave this answer, I was responding to a series of questions fired at me by a small group of college and post-college students I was leading through Europe, teaching the history of Christianity and biblical worldviews. We were sitting in a sidewalk café in Geneva, Switzerland, discussing Calvinism, in John Calvin’s town.
Here’s what they wanted to know; “Why is it that people who claim to love God and read the same Bible as the next person, can come to polar opposite conclusions on so many issues? That drives us younger Christians nuts. Why give your life and energy to fighting each other over theological issues instead of just loving people and introducing people to Jesus? That’s one reason kids our age are simply walking away from the church.”
If you’re interested in dialoguing with your children or grandchildren about these questions yourself, you might find the next few weeks’ blogs helpful.
When I gave this answer, I was responding to a series of questions fired at me by a small group of college and post-college students I was leading through Europe, teaching the history of Christianity and biblical worldviews. We were sitting in a sidewalk café in Geneva, Switzerland, discussing Calvinism, in John Calvin’s town.
Here’s what they wanted to know; “Why is it that people who claim to love God and read the same Bible as the next person, can come to polar opposite conclusions on so many issues? That drives us younger Christians nuts. Why give your life and energy to fighting each other over theological issues instead of just loving people and introducing people to Jesus? That’s one reason kids our age are simply walking away from the church.”
If you’re interested in dialoguing with your children or grandchildren about these questions yourself, you might find the next few weeks’ blogs helpful.
August 29, 2016
Marriage, Family and God’s Authority Structure
I am often approached by young men thinking of getting married, for counsel. One of the first things I want to find out is if they, and their fiancé, have a biblical view of marriage. The following is what I give them to review with their future spouse, to see if they are both on the same page. (And surprisingly, many are not!)
August 22, 2016
Eight Important Questions For Finding the Will of God For Your Life
“I’m thinking of doing something different vocationally. I’ve been in a job that’s been OK, but I’m bored and there’s not much room for advancement. But, I just don’t know what the will of God is for my next job. I just don’t want to make the wrong move.”
I’ll bet you, yourself have sought an answer from God for any number of issues, from what college to attend, who to marry, serving in ministry – the list is probably endless. Here’s what we really want to know: Is it possible to know the sovereign will of God for our specific lives, before we make a decision? Is it possible to get a “peek at the script” for our lives with enough certainty to act on it?
I’ll bet you, yourself have sought an answer from God for any number of issues, from what college to attend, who to marry, serving in ministry – the list is probably endless. Here’s what we really want to know: Is it possible to know the sovereign will of God for our specific lives, before we make a decision? Is it possible to get a “peek at the script” for our lives with enough certainty to act on it?
August 15, 2016
What’s God’s Will For My Life?
I was sitting at Starbucks a while back, on a fine fall day with a young man about to graduate from college in the spring. He and I had met a number of times before when he was going through a crisis’ of faith over the death of a friend, but today he had a completely different dilemma.
“I want to know what God’s will is for my life. Is there any way I can know that with certainty?”
“Yes, there is I said.” But, what I was about to tell him, wasn’t what he wanted to hear.
“I want to know what God’s will is for my life. Is there any way I can know that with certainty?”
“Yes, there is I said.” But, what I was about to tell him, wasn’t what he wanted to hear.
August 8, 2016
“Things” That Tempt Us
Recently, I met with a young husband who has had an affair. He’s confessed it to his wife, asked God’s forgiveness and cut off the relationship. But there was still a problem.
“I still think about the ‘other woman’ occasionally and I don’t know how to make that stop,” he observed.
Previously, I had suggested fasting and saying Jesus’ name anytime a thought about her entered his mind. But the emotional memory problem still existed.
But finally, the Holy Spirit prompted me to ask this question, which I’ve asked other men in the past, even with “only” affairs of the heart, “Is there anything in your home or office that she gave you, or that ties you to her or triggers a memory of her?” After a few seconds he admitted to having a shirt she gave him still hanging in their closet.
“Get rid of it immediately,” was my advice. “Things can tempt us,” I said.
“I still think about the ‘other woman’ occasionally and I don’t know how to make that stop,” he observed.
Previously, I had suggested fasting and saying Jesus’ name anytime a thought about her entered his mind. But the emotional memory problem still existed.
But finally, the Holy Spirit prompted me to ask this question, which I’ve asked other men in the past, even with “only” affairs of the heart, “Is there anything in your home or office that she gave you, or that ties you to her or triggers a memory of her?” After a few seconds he admitted to having a shirt she gave him still hanging in their closet.
“Get rid of it immediately,” was my advice. “Things can tempt us,” I said.
August 1, 2016
Your Children or Grandchildren, May Believe in a Different God Than You Do!
You may be turned off by the alarmist tone of my next sentence, but I mean every word of it. This blog is about a “Christian” worldview, which is one of the most ill-defined, fastest growing and potentially, most deadly theology of any I’ve encountered. And your children or grandchildren may actually believe it!
A few years ago, I served on Spiritual Formation Task Force for a local Christian high school and I was given a book by Christian Smith, entitled, Soul Searching. Under a major grant from the E.I. Lilly Foundation, Dr. Smith, a Christian sociologist, at the University of North Carolina and his team conducted hundreds of face-to-face and phone interviews to find out what American teens really believed about God.
His findings were startling to me. But the more time I spend with college students and 20 something “Christians,” even in conservative churches, the more I’m convinced his research is right on. And, his findings explain why the faith of our fathers is not the faith of our children. Here’s a summary of what he found and at the end of this blog are some questions to help you dialogue with them.
A few years ago, I served on Spiritual Formation Task Force for a local Christian high school and I was given a book by Christian Smith, entitled, Soul Searching. Under a major grant from the E.I. Lilly Foundation, Dr. Smith, a Christian sociologist, at the University of North Carolina and his team conducted hundreds of face-to-face and phone interviews to find out what American teens really believed about God.
His findings were startling to me. But the more time I spend with college students and 20 something “Christians,” even in conservative churches, the more I’m convinced his research is right on. And, his findings explain why the faith of our fathers is not the faith of our children. Here’s a summary of what he found and at the end of this blog are some questions to help you dialogue with them.
July 25, 2016
Guest Blog: An Interview with Eric Metaxes
Eric Metaxas, is the author of Bonhoeffer, and a columnist, speaker and Christian thinker I respect a lot. In this interview with John Zmirak, he discusses his surprising takes on moral foundations that are foundational for a functioning democracy, the premise of Eric’s latest book, If You Can Keep It. John: Please explain what you mean […]
