Rosalind Wiseman's Blog, page 7
November 23, 2020
Pandemic Holiday Survival: Principles for Setting Boundaries and Meaningful Connection
We rely on the holidays to reconnect with the people who are most important to us and now we can’t in ways that feel right. And that’s hard. Really hard.
As painful and often irritating as it is, life’s most challenging moments compel us to make decisions about how we want to show up in life. But often we can struggle to find our path. Principles show us the path clearly because they drive our decisions and actions.
Here are some principles we think are the most important to keep with us as we go through this challenging Holiday week.
Creating and maintaining meaningful connection is essential to our emotional wellness.
Throughout this year we have been separated from others we care about and simultaneously surrounded by a political election that drives us apart. Disconnection hurts our hearts and minds. Meaningful connection repairs them and gives us the strength and capacity to survive hard times.
Defining and communicating personal boundaries is essential to treating yourself and others with dignity.
Boundaries empower us to make brave choices that help us feel safe. They help our relationships feel supportive and steady. Even when we feel like communicating our boundaries make others upset, when people can see that you are treating them with dignity, the relationship can be transformed for the better.
Be easy on people, hard on ideas.
Everyone has a journey that got them to this moment and that journey informs how they see the world and how they interact with others. This principle doesn’t give people the freedom to take others’ dignity away. As James Baldwin said, “We can disagree and still love each other unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist.” However, using this principle does give you the ability to acknowledge the person in front of you; and that makes it easier for them to do the same.
This week, we ask you to use these principles to make decisions about how you share this holiday with your loved ones.
If you need to establish boundaries with a family member, do so with dignity so you feel safe.
If there is a person in your life that you have grown apart from because of something either of you have posted on social media, reach out to them by text or a call with this simple message: I know our relationship has suffered because of social media and politics. I just want you to know I care about you, I’m thinking about you, and I hope you are well.
Be well and take good care of yourself and your loved ones.
We know how challenging this can be, so we have pulled 6 essential Tiny Guides: Boundaries, Self-Compassion, Anxiety, Emotional Hijacking, Learned Helplessness, and Self-Regulation to create the Pandemic Holiday Survival Tiny Guides bundle.
Pandemic Holiday Survival Tiny Guides
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Pandemic Holiday Survival: Principles for Setting Boundaries and Meaningful Connection
ASCA WEBINAR: Facilitating Compassionate Conversations with Rosalind Wiseman, Shanterra McBride, and High School Editors
How to Make Civics Education Matter
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November 22, 2020
Creating Cultures of Dignity Webinar with Charlie Kuhn
This session is a call to action transforming the way we create communities where young people thrive. Using Donna Hick’s Ten Elements of Dignity as the foundation for our relationships with young people, we create a shared vocabulary that empowers their development, supports their emotional needs, and teaches prosocial critical thinking. We will use this approach to give common-sense suggestions to manage the frequent struggles between children and their parents – from video games and social media to communication breakdowns. Participants of Creating Cultures of Dignity Webinar will walk away with vocabulary, specific tools, and a new framework to guide your interaction with young people.
Resources mentioned
Presentation slides
Handout on the Elements of Dignity
Tiny Guides
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Creating Cultures of Dignity Webinar with Charlie Kuhn
ASCA WEBINAR: Facilitating Compassionate Conversations with Rosalind Wiseman, Shanterra McBride, and High School Editors
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November 13, 2020
ASCA WEBINAR: Facilitating Compassionate Conversations with Rosalind Wiseman, Shanterra McBride, and High School Editors
The American School Counselor Association’s Mindsets & Behaviors for Student Success emphasize the importance of skills such as gathering evidence and considering multiple perspectives to make informed decisions and creating positive and supportive relationships with other students. These skills are especially important In the wake of a contentious election where emotions are high and opinions strong. As school counselors, it’s important to teach students how to have compassionate, productive conversations with other students, peers and adults.
Hear from education leaders Rosalind Wiseman and Shanterra McBride as well as high school students on how to create a culture of dignity in your school and community.
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November 2, 2020
How to Make Civics Education Matter
On October 8th, National Public Radio’s senior correspondents, Anya Kamanentz and Cory Tucker interviewed four of Culture of Dignity’s teen editorial advisors for their LifeKit Podcast on civic education. Culture of Dignity’s co-directors of the Navigating Politics with Dignity in the New Decade initiative, Sara Davis, 18 from Longmont CO and Taylor Pittman, 18, from New Orleans, LA were joined by editorial advisors, Jake Chang, 16, from Cypress CA and Gus Kraft, 16, from Upper Saddle River NJ to discuss the upcoming election and civic education. To accompany the podcast, they wrote this article to share what they see is most important for adults to know about young people’s experience with civic education in the United States.
How to Make Civics Education Matter
By Taylor Pittman, Sara Davis, Jake Chang, and Gus Kraft
We deeply appreciate NPR giving us the opportunity to share our experiences and opinions on what young people need to be taught in civic education. Not only because we know how important civics education is but because it is essential for young people who receive civic education to be asked what they need. From when it is taught in middle and high school, to how it is taught and what content is covered, young people need to work with experts in civic education so they can bring their knowledge and apply it to the reality that is the political landscape today.
Civic education is all about learning how to be adults in the modern world. We want our civics education to reflect that. We don’t understand why something so important to learn in order to be a contributing citizen of the United States is not more of a priority in our education. We also want adults to be open to hard conversation and ready to communicate about the political process so we are more prepared for the world. Otherwise, and is often the case, civics education becomes another part of our education that disengages us from actually learning and being educated citizens.
Here’s what we recommend:
Civic Education that Relates to Our Lives Now
Even though many young people do not get good civics education, we still want to be active in the political process. If we don’t receive it in school, we will most likely turn to social media to get our information. Taylor had no idea who Donald Trump was until he started trending on Twitter in 2016. Nothing at school teaches her to be engaged in voting, to learn about the candidates, or the political process. Until this year, we were frustrated with the media because it didn’t want us to participate. But during this election cycle, we see more on social media about why we should vote and more encouragement to do early voting on social platforms. Some of Taylor’s friends who are never interested in voting saw constant posts on their Instagram feed of voting resources and got more interested in voting. As a way to encourage them to vote, Taylor said to them that it takes about the same amount of time to create an Instagram account as it does to register to vote. We use this example to demonstrate why it’s important to make civics education relatable and how important it is to have young people involved in the content of civics education. Think about it: Does any civic education in the country compare the time it takes to register to vote to creating an Instagram account?
Ask for Feedback from a Range of Students
We have rarely, if ever, been asked to participate in recognizing what we need in our education. Even when schools do ask young people their opinions, they typically reach out to students who excel in school, participate in school clubs and other extracurriculars; as in the kids adults like. Schools don’t typically reach out to the students that school isn’t working for and aren’t perfect on paper. Excluding these students reinforces the belief that they don’t have a place in school, aren’t recognized as being able to contribute, or are just invisible. “School” is an institution and a community and it’s where most young people have experiences, for better or worse, with both. They take the lessons they learn from interacting with school as an institution and apply it to their overall beliefs in our political process. That’s why civics education is a direct link to civic engagement; it has to work for everyone to encourage political participation.
Acknowledge That You May Be Asking the Wrong Questions:
Now that we have said ask us, it probably seems reasonable to ask us “What do you need from your education?” But that’s like asking “What do you need from Walmart?” For many young people, we don’t even know where to start because we haven’t had the opportunity to to understand what we don’t know. Asking students general questions doesn’t work. We need to be asked about our experiences to gauge what history we have with civic issues and then help us understand how these issues impact us, our communities and our country. We need to get a full understanding of the impact of different political problems, because then we can see how they affect the people around us.
Adults say they want young people to be educated citizens. We want to be educated citizens as well; with the skills and knowledge to rebuild our democracy and meet the substantial challenges our country faces. Bring us into the process by recognizing that our voices and experiences matter.
Make Civics Education Equitable
Our education of civics is influenced by the funding and resources that our schools receive which means it can be difficult to get kids from historically impoverished areas involved in a system that doesn’t care about them. It’s like expecting someone to speak up after being ignored; they expect to be ignored. So what can we do about it?
We need to show every student that civics is essential to them. Their lack of political interest is not a mystery; their education refuses to take accountability for its own failings. We can change this by representing minority communities in America, updating our history textbooks to reflect modern movements, train and allow our teachers to facilitate rigorous discussions about our rights and responsibilities as citizens, and show how every student can make a meaningful contribution in our society. It’s not enough to just have civics classes without changing the curriculum itself. We need to show that all students are represented and take inspiration as a model for being active citizens. We need to see that we have a voice and are recognized by adults as people who can contribute to our communities.
Thank you Anya and Cory for giving us that opportunity.
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The post How to Make Civics Education Matter appeared first on Cultures of Dignity.
October 28, 2020
WEBINAR: Developing Students’ Social and Emotional Skills through the Owning Up Curriculum
In this webinar, internationally recognized author and educator Rosalind Wiseman and Cultures of Dignity’s Carey Goldstein give concrete strategies to prepare students to be engaged learners. This webinar introduces how to use the new Owning Up Curriculum for elementary school and middle school children to develop core social and emotional skills.
During this webinar we will…
Offer realistic definitions of bullying, by-standing, teasing, and social conflict
Define how to help students establish friendship boundaries and have hard conversations
Help students identify adults allies
Demonstrate how to use an Owning Up activity online
This webinar is for educators and those who work with young people.
Slide Deck
Resources mentioned
Best Practices for Remote Learning
How to Adapt Core Owning Up Strategies for Virtual Learning
Interview an Adult Activity from Owning Up Curriculum
Tiny Guides: tools to help quickly comprehend core social and emotional concepts, understand their impact on you and your relationships, and equip you with tools to put them into action
Lesson: How to Talk About The Content of Tiny Guides with Young People
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October 20, 2020
Getting Beyond Tantrums and Tirades to Real Conversations
As always we asked our teen editorial advisors to review this Communiquette. This time we included some of their direct quotes.
Getting Beyond Tantrums and Tirades to Real Conversations
Who didn’t cringe watching our recent political debates? Can you imagine if students running for student council behaved that way? The hypocrisy would be laughable if it weren’t so profoundly damaging to our democracy. The young people we work with are genuinely baffled and disgusted. Madelyn Wallace, 16, shared, “This is what we are growing up watching. It gives us a “what has the world come to” mindset.” Taylor Pittman, 17, said, “I was in the debate club, and I know the difference between debate and fussing like children.”
It’s not just our political leaders. Our social media feeds are filled with people who are similarly incapable of disagreeing without their interaction disintegrating into screaming matches or physical altercations. In our own lives, we dodge hard conversations because we fear each other’s reaction or think it’s useless to even try.
How are we supposed to solve the big problems we face if we run away or can’t disagree without resorting to tantrums and tirades?
Conflict is inevitable; we have to get better skilled at handling it.
When you are faced with the hard conversations to come, here are some suggestions:
Prepare and organize your thoughts
Even if you only have a few moments, taking two breaths and focusing on your environment will help you manage your emotions. As Gus Kraft, 16, says, “Preparing for a hard conversation is like preparing for a presentation at school. It’s important to keep it organized because the last thing you want is to get off topic, messy, or forget what you want to say.”
Choose one or two ideas to communicate.
You don’t need 20 ideas, facts or reasons to prove your point.
Ask curious questions.
Curious questions show in their tone and content that the person wants further understanding. Non-curious questions want to put the other person down. Here’s a prompt to keep you on track, Help me understand….(and then repeat back what the person said that you think is wrong, confusing, makes no sense…) Remember, listening is being prepared to be changed by what you hear.
Everyone’s dignity is not negotiable: that goes for you and the other person.
While you are not responsible for other peoples’ reactions, the more you show the other person dignity the less likely they will get defensive and angry.
How do you know when the discussion is running off the rails?
No matter how well you follow the above suggestions, things can still go sideways. Let’s break down what that specifically looks like:
The conversation is going in circles
People are repeating themselves
Either one of you feels judged or mocked
People are only listening to catch “mistakes”
You feel you have “won” the argument
That’s right. Feeling like you have “won” the argument means all you have accomplished is tearing the other person down. And they probably still disagree with you. You actually haven’t won anything except a momentary boost to your ego.
How do you know when a hard conversation is on the right track?
Both sides feel like they’re getting to know each other
Both sides share their feelings and beliefs
Both sides ask curious questions and listen to each other’s answers
Both sides feel as though they have learned something
Both people can disagree, even intensely, but still feel that the other person acknowledges their dignity
We know things are looking pretty bleak right now. We are on the eve of an election; packed with political leaders who are truly terrible role models. But that doesn’t mean we can’t change things for the better. It starts when we lean into the hard conversations that are all around us. We have to do this; our families, neighborhoods, communities and our country’s foundation of civility are depending on us.
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October 16, 2020
How Recognition and Understanding Can Reframe Our Disagreements
About the Author: I’m Sara Davis, a senior in high school from Colorado. I’m an Editorial Advisor with Cultures of Dignity. In this blog series, I am using the tools I learned, along with my own experiences to show how dignity creates a healthy classroom culture.
How Recognition and Understanding Can Reframe Our Disagreements
By Sara Davis
We don’t always realize it, but when we start a discussion, we are making an agreement to the possibility that the conversation will lead to disagreement and conflict. When we find ourselves in challenging circumstances, like a pandemic or an election, this possibility becomes practically a guarantee. But the moment we do realize we are in conflict with someone else, our discomfort propels us to react in ways that either silence ourselves or silence others. We can shut down, blow up, freeze, or break down. And this is the moment to see the conflict for what it is; an opportunity to practice productive discomfort; which means you understand that part of growth and change is being uncomfortable.
Productive discomfort is necessary in order to learn and grow because change is impossible if you don’t allow yourself to be in unfamiliar or uncomfortable situations. But when people feel that their dignity is violated in a discussion it’s a surefire way to end up in a conflict with no resolution because the person shuts down, turns away, or goes on the attack. So what can you do to make sure disagreement is productive, instead of spiraling towards a never ending tug-of-war?
Recognition and understanding are two Elements of Dignity that helps us recognize where conflict comes from and get us back to really listening to each other. People feel extremely vulnerable when they perceive that they aren’t being treated as if they matter. Using recognition and understanding to frame where others are coming from allows us to take a step back from the intensity of our own experiences, and allows us to appreciate the experiences of others.
Element of Dignity: Recognition
Validate others for their talents, hard work, thoughtfulness, and help. Be generous with praise. Give credit to others for their contributions, ideas and experience.
Element of Dignity: Understanding
Believe that what others think matters. Give them the chance to explain their perspective. Listening so we’re prepared to be changed by what we hear.
Conflict rarely follows a script. When you are having a hard conversation and find yourself becoming angry and frustrated, these Elements of Dignity can ground us. Recognition and understanding are used best in combination with SEAL. SEAL is the Cultures of Dignity strategy for communicating emotions like anger, frustration, and anxiety, while staying calm. It allows everyone to participate in difficult conversations, and make sure that if you feel your dignity has been violated, you can solve the problem without violating the dignity of someone else.
Here’s what SEAL stands for:
StopTake a deep breath. Observe where you are. Decide what you need to do now to make the problem smaller. Later, if you need to, you can think of how to follow up.ExplainTake your bad feelings and put them into words—be specific about what you don’t like and what you need instead. Even if it feels small and insignificant.Affirm & AcknowledgeAffirm means you and the person you are angry with both have the right to be treated with dignity. Acknowledge asks you if there is anything you
did that contributed to the problem and needs to be included.LockLock: You want to talk about the problem and keep the friendship or relationship. Lock is about healthy boundaries and self-care, not denying others dignity.
Take a pause: You want to pause the friendship.
Lock out the relationship: You feel that you aren’t being treated with dignity, your personal boundaries are not being respected, and/or your emotional or physical health or your future plans for yourself are in danger so you need to end the friendship.
Lock is the hardest part of SEAL. Understanding when we need to lock in our own boundaries is a tough skill that takes time to develop, but it’s necessary to preserve everyone’s dignity. Ask yourself “When is it okay to decide not to be friends?”. This is where being okay with being uncomfortable is really helpful. Part of productive discomfort is realizing that in order to grow, you have to be honest with yourself, which lets you treat yourself with dignity. Recognizing unhealthy relationships sets us up to better identify healthy ones in the future; being able to understand and set your boundaries is an act of self-care, not a denial of others’ dignity. Sometimes there are times when you can’t lock out in the way you want to. We all have to tolerate relationships with people at work, school or in our families where we really may want to lock out but we can’t completely shut down the relationship. When you can’t completely lock out, it is at least important to establish healthy boundaries between you and the other person so your dignity remains intact.
Note to educators/parents: If you are teaching SEAL to others, the acronym is more helpful once an overview of the basics has been taught. When students are learning, it is better if it doesn’t feel quite so scripted which makes everyone feel more comfortable. In this case, starting with the Understanding SEAL Activity or Applying SEAL Activity from the Owning Up Curriculum gives students some context for why remembering the acronym can help them in a conflict. While everyone has strategies they use to deal with conflict (even if you aren’t aware of them), making conflict seem like a series of steps often feels awkward and disingenuous. The point of SEAL is to allow us to communicate our genuine emotions, not to be a set of instructions for how conflicts should go, or how people should feel.
After using SEAL for the first time, you also might want to ask yourself these questions to help you evaluate how effective your use of the strategy was this time, and how you can improve.
When were the moments the problem got more difficult? Was that because of the content of the words we said, the tone, or a combination of both
How did I respond to the pushback? Was the response realistic? How can I improve?
Which step was the most difficult to follow? Why?
How could I be more effective?
Asking yourself these questions reinforces the idea that solving conflict as a skill you can improve on. Having that mindset means instead of saying to yourself “I’m a bad person” when you are in a conflict, instead you’ll think “That SEAL step is harder for me, I have to remember to focus on it next time.” This frame of mind reaffirms your own dignity in a conflict, because the first step to treating others with dignity is to start with yourself.
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The post How Recognition and Understanding Can Reframe Our Disagreements appeared first on Cultures of Dignity.
October 8, 2020
Webinar: Helping Parents Support Their Children’s Wellbeing During Distance Learning with Rosalind Wiseman
Parenting has always had its challenges but now it can feel overwhelming. How do you support your child during this time when nothing is certain? How do you support your child when you are struggling as well?
Cultures of Dignity co-founder and best-selling author, Rosalind Wiseman discusses strengthening family well-being and supporting children’s education while distance learning. Rosalind will use her brand new publication The Distance Learning Playbook for Parents to give them concrete skills to support the social, emotional, and educational needs of our children while giving parents much-needed guidance for their own well-being as well.
In this webinar, Rosalind covers…
Tools for self-compassion
How to guide children as they navigate their friendships online
The importance of social media in your child’s life while putting healthy boundaries around screen time
Concrete skills to increase family communication; especially in times of conflict or anxiety
Slide Deck
Resources mentioned
Tiny Guides: tools to help quickly comprehend core social and emotional concepts, understand their impact on you and your relationships, and equip you with tools to put them into action
The Social Dilemma Documentary on Netflix
Owning Up Curriculum: Empowering young people to create cultures of dignity, understand emotions, and build essential social skills.
The Information Diet by Clay A. Johnson
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The post Webinar: Helping Parents Support Their Children’s Wellbeing During Distance Learning with Rosalind Wiseman appeared first on Cultures of Dignity.
September 24, 2020
The Relationship Between Respect and Bias
The Relationship Between Respect and Bias
by Megan Saxelby
As someone who spends the majority of my time researching and training individuals and communities on the idea of Dignity, we need a collective pause, a collective reflection, and a collective reckoning on the idea of respect.
I have spent the last seven years studying dignity and encouraging prosocial critical thinking in classrooms, organizations, and individuals. My work is grounded in the work of Harvard researcher Donna Hicks Ph.D, a pioneer in operationalizing the idea of dignity; specifically as an international conflict resolution expert. In her own words, the dignity model “is an approach I developed to help people understand the role that dignity plays in their lives and relationships. It is my response to what I have observed to be a missing link in our understanding of conflict: our failure to recognize how vulnerable humans are to being treated as if they didn’t matter.”
A core facet of understanding dignity is making a distinction between dignity and respect, two concepts that are frequently conflated. Dignity is non-negotiable—it is the inherent worth and value of every human. Respect, on the other hand, is negotiable. It is earned or lost through an individual’s or organization’s choices, actions, and behaviors.
I realize this is not how society teaches us to think about respect, and there-in lies a problem. We have been taught that there is a universal definition of respect, which is just not true. If you look at the dictionary definition of respect you will find many terms like, “a feeling of deep admiration for,” or “ to consider worthy.” The commonality between the definitions is that they imply personal opinion and context. You were not born with an ingrained idea of respect, you were taught a definition based on your context, your culture, and how you have been socialized. We are all coming to every interaction in our lives with a socialized idea of respect, and this largely unacknowledged fact has major repercussions.
Our perceptions of respect impact our choices, actions, and behaviors, as well as the experiences of others.
Respect cannot be guaranteed and it cannot be demanded. We each have individual definitions of what respect means. An example to clarify this point is holding a door for someone. Do you hold doors for others? Do you hold the door for everyone? Elderly people? Women? Men? Young people? Someone of a different race? Is holding of a door an act of respect, or is that simply an acknowledgement of our common humanity? Dr. Hicks argues that individuals, “earn respect through their behavior and actions. Earning respect means doing something that goes above and beyond the baseline right to be treated well.” Does holding a door for someone go above and beyond their baseline right to be treated well, or is simply acknowledging humanity a basic part of the social contract? If I am that person rushing to catch that door, what conclusions might I jump to if you, accidentally or not, let it slam in my face. Our perceptions of respect impact our choices, actions, and behaviors, as well as the experiences of others.
Our individual perceptions of respect translate to workplaces, to schools, and to our communities. Ask yourself, whose behavior is disproportionately policed by the intersection of respect and power? For example, if you are a leader in a school or organization who thinks eye contact and active participation are essential signs of respect, how does that ripple out and impact others? Are you overlooking the value of introverts in your organization? Will your unconscious bias stop you from connecting with or valuing those who find direct eye contact intimidating? Will someone with a stutter not make it past an initial interview process or be able to succeed in your organization or classroom?
Organizing relationships and communities around respect creates a system that is inherently biased because it uses an individual, socialized definition to police the perceived value and participation of others. Demanding respect is never going to create the relationships you want because they will never be based in admiration and mutual respect; relationships will be based in fear, humiliation, and mutual insecurity. Socialized ideas of respect deny the myriad of factors that impact who is able to access spaces, who is seen as valuable, whose voices carry weight, who gets to succeed, and whose humanity gets to matter.
Photo by Edward Howell via Unsplash
Recognition that our concept of respect is socialized and therefore not universal, has the potential to transform our organizations and relationships. Denial of this reality will continue to perpetuate systemic bias and oppression. Too many individuals and organizations support oppression, either consciously or unconsciously, because they rely on their concept of respect as a way to measure an individual or group’s perceived value and contribution to relationships, organizations, and society at large. Respect based social contracts are dangerous because they support unconscious dehumanization. Recognizing how you came to your individual definition of respect, and how it impacts those around you, is an essential first step towards being a more aware and equitable human.
We are not born knowing how to honor individual and collective dignity, we have to choose to learn how.
Using dignity in place of respect is disruptive because it replaces biased concepts of respect with a universal recognition of worth and value as the foundation for culture and relationships. Coming to every interaction, conflict, project, relationship with the mindset, We all matter the same amount no matter what, is a radical shift in the way we have been taught to view human behavior.
We are not born knowing how to honor individual and collective dignity, we have to choose to learn how. Learning about dignity and basing schools, organizations and relationships in it is transformative. It prioritizes emotional safety and depersonalizes conflict because it doesn’t weaponize shame or hierarchy. Creating cultures of dignity takes work, but it is work you are capable of. Take a breath, think about your thinking, and remind yourself that we all matter the same amount, no matter what.
Get curious about your understanding of respect. Ask yourself:
How do I define respect? How did I come to understand my definition of respect?
How did the experiences of my life influence who I respect, who I do not respect, and what actions earn respect?
How am I imposing my definition of respect onto others? How do I use my perception of respect to police the behaviors of others?
Does my socialized perception of respect limit how I see others’ value?
Why do I feel my perception of respect gets to be the “right” one? How does that limit my ability to acknowledge the dignity of others?
Why are other perceptions of respect, especially if they challenge mine, dismissed or denied? How might my definition of respect impact someone else’s ability to succeed, especially if I hold a position of power in my community or organization?
How can I train myself to get curious about other people’s definitions of respect?
How can reflecting on my definition of respect transform my relationships?
Recent Posts
The Relationship Between Respect and Bias
Back-to-School During a Global Pandemic: How am I supposed to build a birdhouse from my bedroom?
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This is part of the Navigating Politics with Dignity in the New Decade series.
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The post The Relationship Between Respect and Bias appeared first on Cultures of Dignity.
September 21, 2020
Back-to-School During a Global Pandemic: How am I supposed to build a birdhouse from my bedroom?
Back-to-School During a Global Pandemic: How am I supposed to build a birdhouse from my bedroom?
Students Share Their Experiences
From getting up later because you don’t have to get to school, to trying to figure out how to do chemistry class online, young people are adjusting to a school experience that they never could have imagined before COVID-19.
At Cultures of Dignity we always seek to let young people share their experiences with adults so we can understand each other better. So we asked high school and college students we work with around the world about their experiences navigating school and the impact of COVID-19. From fully remote to hybrid models, these young people share with us what they miss most, what they are enjoying, the challenges they face, and the adjustments they’ve had to make to this new world.
Here are their words.
‘I miss all the little things that made school enjoyable.’
Online school has been quite a unique experience. I don’t think I’m alone when I say that I never really thought something like this would happen and so to be honest everything has been disorientating. My school is currently working on a four class a day schedule— each for one with a lunch break in the middle and advisor after. And while I like the fact that classes are shorter as much as any other person, sometimes it’s also overwhelming because it feels as though I’m having to go through material so much faster during virtual classes.
I definitely miss a lot of pre-COVID-19 things like the casual human interaction we took for granted. While phones and video calls are good enough of a replacement, I still miss chatting with my friends in the middle of the hallway, getting a tardy because we stopped for food for too long during breaks and just all the little things that made school enjoyable.
– Radhika, 15 (Mumbai)
‘I don’t understand how I am supposed to build a birdhouse from my bedroom.’
Going back to school was really weird to me for a few reasons. One was I never really felt like last school year ended because we had no finals and it was all online. Usually you get the thrill of the final bell ringing on the last day but all I did was shut my computer. Now being back with new classes and new teachers is just strange to me. Another reason was the way my school’s restart plan was set up. They split us up into 3 groups that rotate in and out of school, the kids that aren’t in school watch their classes on Zoom.
I got to go back for the first time yesterday and it was odd seeing everyone wearing masks, one way hallways, and the building so empty. Most of my classes have less than 6 kids in school. There are some classes that are really hard to do from home. For example, I’m taking woodworking and I don’t understand how I am supposed to build a birdhouse from my bedroom. Also it’s really hard to pay attention to boring classes like chemistry from home. I do like that our day finishes at 12:30 which is two hours earlier than normal. One thing I do know is that it is definitely going to take time to get used to this new schedule for both teachers and students.
-Gus, 16 (New Jersey)
‘I can tell my teachers have put in so much effort.’
Having school 100% online isn’t that bad. I can tell my teachers have put in so much effort to make it go smoothly and for the most part, everything has gone well because of their care and attention. So, my classes have run and while it’s probable that we’re losing out on valuable in-person learning, it doesn’t feel like it. That being said, I would do anything to have the classic senior year experience: football games, parties, my soccer season, senioritis, college application stress. I would take all the negatives, but we do what we can and stay positive.
-Micah, 18 (Colorado)
‘Online school just doesn’t quite foster the same sense of community that drew me to my school in the first place.’
I appreciate that my school is prioritizing community health by going completely online, but I miss being physically surrounded by people who have similar academic goals and experiences as me. I miss being motivated and inspired by my peers. Online school just doesn’t quite foster the same sense of community that drew me to my school in the first place.
– Nikki, 20 (Iowa)
‘I can’t just raise my hand to ask for help privately because I’m too embarrassed to ask a question, because now the entire class has to pay attention to my question.’
This year has definitely been different in many ways for me academically, socially and emotionally which all have been affected by quarantine and COVID. The ending of school last year was definitely messy, and disappointing. Our school had all these end of the year fun activities which I didn’t get to experience. This year, it’s more formal, and though many might say it’s much easier, it isn’t for me.
Yes, we don’t even have to get out of bed. Cool. Except for the fact that it’s ten times harder not to fall asleep now. Even if it’s things like not being able to get onto Zoom, they affect my learning. I can’t just raise my hand to ask for help privately because I’m too embarrassed to ask a question, because now the entire class has to pay attention to my question.
Of course, another thing is friends. School was much easier when we went to school physically because I had more fun in class talking to my friends. Yeah, texting is cool, but it isn’t as fun. I’m hoping to get through my classes easier this year, and to go back to school soon (sagely of course). But hey, if none of that happens, at least I get to say “I survived a pandemic.”
– Nadia, 14 (California)
Jeff Pachoud/Agence France-Presse — Getty Images Image
‘I’m thankful but also disappointed at the same time.’
I haven’t really gotten used to having a mix of online and in-person classes this semester at college, but it’s probably a good thing it hasn’t become a norm quite yet. I miss getting to know the people in my classes – there just isn’t really a place for that with COVID restrictions and anxieties. Being at a university where cases are not really reported on much, but knowing that the number is probably rising limits my ability to feel safe about visiting family or friends. I’m thankful but also disappointed at the same time that this is my last year at CSU. When I’m overwhelmed with school and stressors of the pandemic, my outlets are hanging out with roommates, running outside, or playing music!
– Taylor, 20 (Fort Collins)
‘I’m concerned that once we are allowed on campus, I’ll struggle to get involved and make friends…’
I keep telling people that I’m “supposed to be attending George Washington University.” We were one of the first universities to go completely remote, calling off in early August. I felt as if we were blindsided, as we had been receiving emails about changing building names and move-in dates until a few days before. In retrospect, I understand and appreciate how proactive GW was, and the early decision allowed me time to figure out how to adjust to staying at home.
It was definitely difficult sending my friends off to their respective schools, knowing that they wouldn’t be allowed visitors, and fishing out Target receipts to return bedding, picture frames, and string lights. GW is being very persistent about hosting virtual activities, most notably, a virtual rush done on Minecraft, called “Blocky Bottom” (a play on the city campus, Foggy Bottom); however, I keep finding myself shrugging off these virtual extracurriculars. When I am not staring at my computer screen, I have been working at a small coffee shop and taking Muay Thai classes. Most of the new friends I make are twice my age, but I don’t mind!
I’m concerned that once we are allowed on campus, I’ll struggle to get involved and make friends, as I haven’t been making an effort to do so now. Most people tell me that they feel bad for me, while including an anecdote from their senior year of high school or freshman year of college. While it is obviously not ideal, I am confident that these accommodations are keeping people safe, and that is all I can ask for.
– Gabriella, 18 (Pennsylvania)
‘I have to say, I’m not really looking forward to/wanting to go back at all.’
Having Virtual school definitely presents its set of difficulty and easy changes. For starters I can wake up, head downstairs, and make breakfast at a reasonable time. Instead of being confused about what class I need to be in the building, and how I’m going to get there, I have gotten into the habit of remembering what time my zoom call is, carrying my coffee up to my desk, shutting off my camera, and writing down my notes for the day.
Something that surprised me is how flexible my schedule is. Personally I have around 3 hours off in the middle of my day. I really enjoy having this time off and have gotten into a healthy ( ish ) routine for myself. My neighbor and I have eaten lunch together every day of school for the past two weeks. I love spending time with other people rather than my family. We also usually go on walks and catch up on the latest of our very exciting zoom meetings ( sarcastic ).
We may be going back to school for two days a week meetings soon. I have to say, I’m not really looking forward to/wanting to go back at all. I hope I can get used to new challenges that may be coming my way in the future! I’m trying to have a positive attitude but also fear the possible changes.
– Alyssa, 14 (Denver)
‘I’m glad that my safety is guaranteed by staying at home but I’m missing all the social, active, and fun parts of being able to go to school everyday.’
Online school definitely has its benefits and disadvantages. I’m able to get my work done quicker and more efficiently at home without the distraction of friends which makes school a little less stressful when I’m not procrastinating. But, I also don’t get to interact with the people I normally would when at school, like the acquaintances that I don’t see regularly outside of school, which makes it a lot more lonely. Staying in one place for my work helps me stay focused. I’m also able to personalize and make my area cozy.
Although, having to stay in one space for most of the day gets boring quickly and makes me feel super inactive. I’m glad that my safety is guaranteed by staying at home but I’m missing all the social, active, and fun parts of being able to go to school everyday. I also don’t get to show off my awesome outfits!
– Jacey, 16 (Colorado)
‘It is still very difficult adjusting to life while being stuck in my house.’
Even after half a year, it is still very difficult adjusting to life while being stuck in my house. Many of my friends have grown tired of being stuck indoors and start to hang out together. Every time I go to join them, I am constantly reminded of the COVID-19 poses. My family have even had a few close calls with close friends and family. With schools reopening and COVID cases around the country growing exponentially, my family is deciding it best to become more protective and remain in quarantine for the safety of ourselves and others.
– Rocco, 17 (Boulder)
Recent Posts
Back-to-School During a Global Pandemic: How am I supposed to build a birdhouse from my bedroom?
Best Practices for Remote Learning
How to Help Your Child Maintain Friendships in COVID-19
If you have any questions for these young people, feel free to email curious@culturesofdignity.com
The post Back-to-School During a Global Pandemic: How am I supposed to build a birdhouse from my bedroom? appeared first on Cultures of Dignity.
