Rosalind Wiseman's Blog, page 22
November 29, 2017
Do Kids Have To Hug? Response To Girl Scouts Blog
We support the Girls Scouts blog post on children being that forced to hug and kiss adults. We also understand that there were many people who were upset at the article and disagreed with the Girl Scouts position. Here are our thoughts:
We advise our children to “use your words” when you are upset. For the same reason, we can say, “use your words” when you express gratitude. Words are meaningful.
We want girls and boys to be able to show affection to others. But not at the expense of feeling forced to show physical affection to people they are uncomfortable with. We are all about parents who have emotionally and physically healthy relationships with their children, kissing and hugging their children goodnight and saying hello and goodbye. But forcing children to show physical affection to people that they don’t feel comfortable with is teaching them to ignore their personal boundaries to please someone with more power and authority. To “teach” children this at early ages makes it that much more difficult for them to communicate and maintain their personal boundaries when they get older.
Some people defended the forced physical affection because it’s the custom in their cultures. There is a big difference between quick kisses that everyone does in greeting and a forced awkward hug between a child and an adult who has more power.
We don’t want children to think that everyone wants to harm them. We don’t. When kids don’t want to hug someone, trust it. For whatever reason, they don’t feel comfortable and that feeling needs to be respected.
As the adult, why do you need to get a hug and a kiss from a child who doesn’t want to give that to you? So if you are on the receiving end, meaning the adult who is standing there awkwardly as the parent forces the child to hug you, here’s what you can do:
Step back, smile at the child and say, “Hi, you don’t need to do that if you don’t want to. But I am so glad to see you!” If you want, ask them for a high five. That way you are role modeling for the parent and the child.
So as the parent, we suggest letting kids use their words to show gratitude and if they want to they can show physical affection.
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Five Ways to Get Young People to Take Us Seriously About Bullying Prevention
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November 28, 2017
Five Ways to Get Young People to Take Us Seriously About Bullying Prevention
1. Teach children that it’s not always possible to avoid conflict. Instead, sometimes conflict happens, and the goal is to communicate to the best of your ability and manage yourself competently, while still treating the other person with dignity.
2. Redefine how we advise “Talk to an adult” when a child has a problem, and use it as a way to build social competency. When children identify that they are facing a problem too big for them to solve on their own, part of their self-care and strategy for solving the problem should be critically assessing which adult in their life will be the best advocate for them.
3. Closely tied to #2 is explicitly communicating to young people that asking for help is not a sign of weakness but a skill that people use when they want more control over their lives and the problems they face.
4. Apologize when we make a mistake. Even the best teachers can tease a student the wrong way or discipline the wrong child only to realize later that they made a mistake. It is profoundly meaningful for an adult to apologize to a young person by saying, “I’m sorry. I was wrong.” Yes, the child may respond with, “That’s ok, don’t worry about it.” Don’t be fooled. It can mean the difference between a disengaged student who would never ask a teacher for help again to an engaged learner who believes that there’s at least one adult in the school community that truly has his or her back.
5. Admit that any strategy, from “I messages” and “feedback sandwiches” or anything like it, comes across as probably weird and cheesy. From about 4th grade on, young people need ways to communicate what they think are realistic and reflect the complexity of the problem.
This post appeared on CrisisGo– who provides tools for schools to increase safety awareness, improve rapid response, connect parents and school staff, and improve procedures with comprehensive data.
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October 31, 2017
Respecting the Dignity of Words
Dignity. Respect. Courage. They’re all words with profound meaning and they’re also regularly not really understood or internalized by young people when we teach anti-bias work.
We have to get clear about the words we use.
Dignity:
From the Latin word dignitas, meaning “to be worthy.”
As in: All people have the right to be recognized for their inherent humanity and treated ethically. Dignity is a given. You just have it and no one can take it away.
Respect:
From the Latin word respectus, meaning “to look back at.”
As in: showing admiration for someone because of their abilities, qualities or achievements. Respect is earned. You are respected by others for what you have achieved, experienced and how you have handled yourself.
But respect is often understood in two ways: Recognizing a power/status difference between people and recognizing the value of a person (as in dignity). Things get really confusing when we combine the two meanings. In schools, we commonly frame respect/being respectful as being polite, obedient and following the rules. In this context, questioning the rules or challenging the person enforcing the rules is often perceived as defiant, rude, disrespectful and subject to punishment.
But the questions are: Should you respect someone who abuses power? Should you respect someone who doesn’t treat others with dignity?
Even if they’re older than you…
Even if they have more seniority than you…
Even if they have more experience than you…
Even if they have a public position we respect…?
And finally, if dignity is a given that can’t be taken away, what does it look like to treat someone you don’t respect with dignity?
That’s the contradiction that’s so hard to put into words. We all struggle with it and it’s one of the reasons why young people are so often skeptical about what we teach and model about respect. In their minds, they may question why should they respect someone who treats others badly and then demands respect themselves? Why should that person receive the deference they believe they deserve if they refuse to acknowledge how their actions are perceived by and impact others? Why should this person merit respect and loyalty?
Let’s admit, these are very good questions.
But there’s a way out. If we use dignity as our anchor and ground our work in the belief that every person has value, then we can separate people’s abusive actions from their essential humanity. For example, there may be a teacher at your school who belittles students or embarrasses them in front of others. Your students shouldn’t respect the teacher’s behavior but they should absolutely treat that teacher with dignity. It may look like the same thing–treating the person with respect versus treating that person with dignity but in young people’s minds, it is an important distinction. Respect acknowledges the behavior while dignity still teaches the importance of civility and humanity.
The same concept can be applied to a peer situation. In my classes, students get “rightfully” frustrated when other kids are mean. They want revenge. They want the right to hate this other kid. So if we say,“Yes, you have the right to be incredibly angry. Yes, you have the right to hate them and I am not taking those feelings away from you. But here’s how I want you to think about it: You don’t have to be friends. You don’t have to respect them. You don’t have to like them or what they’re doing. But you do have to treat them with dignity.”
But it’s not enough to talk about it. What we have found at Cultures of Dignity is that doing the following drawing exercise with the students creates collective ownership of and meaning for these words. We give the students 10-15 minutes to draw and then 10-15 minutes for discussion.
Here’s how it goes:
Ask the students:
What’s your personal definition of dignity? Write or draw the images, colors, and symbols that come to mind when you think of the word dignity?
What’s your personal definition of respect? Write or draw the images, colors, symbols come to mind when you think of the word respect.
As the students draw, so should you. I encourage you to share your drawing first–especially if you’re not great at it. Why? Because you are modeling vulnerability; you are willing to contribute even when you don’t look like the expert and you have important thoughts worth sharing.
Then ask your students to share their drawings and engage them in a discussion about their reflections and also highlight the differences between dignity and respect (defining them, if necessary), and how that plays out in the classroom. You can even use their work to frame the group’s behavior guidelines for the rest of the sessions you have with them.
Remember, as educators we must have the courage to admit when our students aren’t internalizing the words and concepts we care so deeply about. But if we create the environment where they can admit it and then make the words their own, we will make our teaching and classroom come to life.
This article originally appeared on Rosalind’s Classroom Conversations on ADL here
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Parents are exhausting their children. An eighth-grade boy explains how.
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October 25, 2017
Drama vs Bullying
Despite our best intentions, it’s a fact that most students around the country don’t want to talk about bullying. They’re tuned out; believing that they got the “bullying” lecture in elementary school and they don’t need to hear it again.
Talking about bullying is important for the safety of every young person but we have to clear with our words and approach.
Bullying is when one person or a group of people repeatedly abuses or threatens to abuse their power against another person. We see it as stripping someone of their dignity by attacking, demeaning and/or humiliating someone based on a perceived inherent trait like their sexual orientation, their conformance to gender appearance, their religion, their socio-economic level, their race, ethnicity or a disability.
But young people don’t usually define the conflicts they get into as bullying. They usually define it as drama: a conflict that’s serious to the people involved but not taken seriously by other people gossiping about it. Drama is where peers are in conflict with each other or the “target” is believed to have done something wrong or antagonized the “bully.” In both situations, the aggressor and their peers often don’t think they’re bullying the target. Instead, they believe they’re righting a wrong or defending themselves or someone else by using the power and resources available to them.
The consequences for both bullying and drama can still be serious—a young person can be really upset, isolated and distracted in school but we have to talk about these dynamics in a way young people can relate to it you want young people self-reflect and shift their behavior.
This post appeared on CrisisGo– who provides tools for schools to increase safety awareness, improve rapid response, connect parents and school staff, and improve procedures with comprehensive data.
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Parents are exhausting their children. An eighth-grade boy explains how.
So, What Is Mindfulness, Anyway?
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October 20, 2017
Parents are exhausting their children. An eighth-grade boy explains how.
An eighth-grade boy explains how.
By Rosalind Wiseman
Adults often believe that kids have it relatively easy. No bills to pay. No job to go. No horrible boss or complicated relationships to tolerate. All a child has to do is do well in school and not get into trouble. But things aren’t that simple. They never have been and never will be.
A few days ago an eighth-grade boy wrote me the following:
I had my SSAT coming up, actually today, on the 14th, and [my parents] are constantly telling me what to do but they have no idea of what I’m actually doing. When you want to just relax for an hour after seven straight hours of strenuous cognitive exercises, and your parent tells you to get off your ass and start doing something productive, you want to throw something at them, to yell at them to simply leave you alone for one straight hour. But you can’t, so you say: “Okay, sorry.” Then walk past them in the most respectful way possible, to your room, and start homework, or studying. Waiting, just hoping to whoever can help and will listen that you will be able to leave this place as soon as possible. Finally, though, you finish. So you start to go and do whatever you want to do at the time.
When you walk past your parent, they say: “Where do you think you’re going? You still have chores.” Then they will hold up a long, long list of things that you have to do. You move toward cover, so your parents won’t be able to see your hands curl into fists. But nothing is shown on your face, simply a benevolent smile that you hope seems genuine. After an hour, you finish everything, and again you walk past your parents. They greet you, and say: “You know what would be awesome? If you could do this, or that.” You die. Point blank, you’re excitement to relax just withers, and gasps its final breath. Because at this point by the time you finish this, dinner will arrive, then bed, and you have now spent an entire day wound up like a taut string. The only thing to make you snap is a breath of air. You haven’t even made it to dinner. Quietly, you think that all you have to do is get done with the next hour, and you are finished with this day. Dinner comes and goes, and the next morning the light greets you, telling you that you have to repeat the process five times a week. You then collapse onto your bed with happiness that manifests in a pitiful groan, served extra loud on Mondays. This is typically me at home.
Of course our kids need to do their chores and homework. But is it any wonder, when most of our interactions with our children are transactions, that some of our children don’t feel comfortable telling us what they really feel? Or, that they sometimes explode about something seemingly small, and we dismiss their behavior as hormones, moodiness, and immaturity?
I’m just asking that we take a step back and ask ourselves:
Do I ever take the time to just look at my child?
When I begin conversations with my child are they usually about something they haven’t done?
Do I know what makes my child want to get up in the morning and start the day?
Is there anything that I say that kills his/her spirit?
What do I do to make my child feel seen and heard?
So take a pause. Take out a piece of paper and a pen. Take 10 minutes to answer the questions above. And then the next time you see your child, especially at the end of the day, don’t greet them with a thousand even well-intentioned questions. Just say you love them, and you’re grateful they’re in your life.
The list of chores and things they haven’t done can wait. Creating space for peace and warmth in our most important relationships can’t.
This originally appeared in the Washington Post here.
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October 17, 2017
So, What Is Mindfulness, Anyway?
The first wellbeing magazine for teenagers just launched! Teen Breathe promotes mindfulness for a happier, healthier, more fulfilled life. From social media to sports and making friends to making flowers, Teen Breathe offers tips, exercises, and ideas to help young people explore how paying attention to everything you do, being curious and staying positive can help us be comfortable and proud in our own skin.
Below is an article from Issue 1. Enjoy!
So, what is mindfulness, anyway?
Mindfulness is paying attention. Think that’s really easy?
Read on…
Who needs to practise paying attention – after all, it’s a breeze, isn’t it? For some, maybe. But for most it’s harder than you might think. You might not realise it, but a lot of time is spent on auto pilot, carrying out tasks and activities and even conversations without a lot of awareness of what you’re doing.
For example, have you ever got to the bottom of a page in a book and realised you haven’t actually read anything you were ‘reading’? Or have you ever said something to someone that you immediately wished you hadn’t?
Everyone experiences those things – it’s part of being human. But mindfulness can help us be better at paying attention, so we don’t make careless mistakes or miss out on important information. When you think about it, the ability to pay attention is probably one of the most important skills we need as human beings.
This is why many of the features and activities in Teen Breathe will involve bringing your awareness to your breath, your feelings, your thoughts or perhaps the sensations in your body. It might seem silly at first to focus so carefully on your breath, but what you are doing is really important – you are practising the crucial skill of paying attention. And the more you do this, the easier it will become.
Be Curious
Mindfulness is also about paying attention in a particular way. When we are mindful, we are curious. Instead of thinking we know exactly what is going to happen, we leave open the possibility that things could be entirely different from our expectations.
Can you think of a time when you were talking to a friend and you had the thought, ‘Oh, I know exactly what she’s going to say right now…’? Maybe then you didn’t listen as carefully, because you were certain you knew where the conversation was going.
And maybe you were right – maybe she said exactly what you predicted. But maybe you were wrong… and then you missed out on something important.
There are many amazing things to be experienced when you pay attention with curiosity – gorgeous sunsets, meaningful conversations, yummy desserts, and beautiful music, to name a few. And here’s something special: researchers have found that we are happiest when we are paying attention to what we are doing, regardless of how ‘pleasant’ the thing we are doing is.
So mindfulness doesn’t just help us pay attention, it can also help us enjoy our lives more.
Be curious, be patient, be open
When you pay attention without judgement, you simply notice what is happening. If you find that you do start judging things, that’s okay. It’s what minds do. What is important is that you notice it. Mindfulness helps you understand how your mind works – and you’re starting to notice just how much judging you do. When you notice those judgements and commentary, see if you can shift your attention back to the camera view of what is actually happening. And then see if it feels different when you pay attention that way.
It might seem strange that a simple thing – paying attention – has suddenly become quite complicated, but it can be summarised easily by saying:
Mindfulness is paying attention with curiosity and without judgement… and it’s something you can practise at any time.
Words: Sarah Rudell Beach
Illustrations: Shutterstock
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October 11, 2017
Breaking Stereotypes of Autism & Learning Life Through Theater
Enjoy her powerful story of overcoming the challenges of being diagnosed with Autism and how she found her place in the world.
Breaking Stereotypes of Autism & Learning Life Through Theater
By Ava Rigelhaupt
For eighteen years I thought something was wrong with me. Try as I might, I couldn’t understand people. It seemed as if everyone read a life rule book, or spoke a language I never learned. Now at age 21, I know nothing is “wrong” with me. I also know why I felt that way. There are unspoken social rules you’re expected you to “just know.” My senior year of high school I learned I was on the Autism Spectrum/diagnosed with Asperger’s (1). My diagnosis clarified some reasons why social situations and nonverbal communication were inherently challenging. Still, a diagnosis is not a cure. Learning that I have a mental disability brought new challenges to wrestle with on top of my already complex identity: Chinese adoptee with a white single Jewish mother.
I first noticed I was “different” in fifth grade. Social rules became more abstract, and kids began forming tight groups. A major change in fifth grade was that we were allowed to sit anywhere during lunch. Before, students sat with their homerooms. While my peers were ecstatic to have this new freedom, I was petrified. The structure that I loved was gone. From a simple place of eating, the school cafeteria turned into anything but simple. I quickly learned that people didn’t necessarily want to sit with me. I didn’t know who to sit with, and it was so hard to know who to ask. I wondered how all the other kids just seemed to know who to sit with, and who were their friends. It was as if people could read each other’s minds. I naively hoped things would change in “grown-up” middle school. I quickly learned nobody is “grown-up” in middle school.
Middle school is its own special circle of Hell. I was perpetually an outcast. It was in these grades where I began thinking that something was truly “wrong” with me. Throughout both middle and high school, I was bullied. Now, if you’re thinking of the bully on the playground or even Mean Girls-esque bullying, you would be wrong. In fact, at times I didn’t know my classmates’ behavior was a subtle form of bullying. For example, I would say things not related to the conversation. Then, my peers would look at each other as if to say, “why did she say that?” Or, I wouldn’t understand jokes or innuendos, and the people around me would snicker quietly. Like a strange alien no one knew how to handle, my classmates gradually stopped socializing with me. I felt frustrated and hopeless. I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t understand what I thought I should understand!
Eventually, I found a temporary safe haven through high school theatre. In theatre you could make a choice onstage with someone and then just be like, “let’s do that reaction over, that was awkward!” Theatre is where I practice the important nonverbal aspects of conversation that nobody explicitly teaches, such as reading body language, and taking another’s point of view. This is often challenging to people on the spectrum. I believe theatre taught me how to interact with people.
Theatre is where I practice the important nonverbal aspects of conversation that nobody explicitly teaches, such as reading body language, and taking another’s point of view.
This year, I took a big leap of faith and broke tradition – as an aspie this scared me to death! Instead of returning for my junior year, I decided to take a gap year. Trinity Repertory Company in Rhode Island offered me a year long internship to consult with them for their sensory friendly season (2), and continue working with Spectrum Theatre Ensemble of Providence (STE). STE was created by Trinity’s Diversity and Inclusion Fellow, Clay B. Martin. It is one of the first theatre companies comprised of neurotypical and neurodiverse actors. During the summer, I worked with Clay on STE’s first theatre production. Being part of STE was the first time I felt comfortable showing all sides of my personality. I met people who really understood how hard it can be having autism. Instead of seeing members for what they cannot do, the company focuses on what someone can do. In fact, our first production combated stereotypes related to autism, and openly discussed the hardships of being on the spectrum in a world not so kind to neurodiverse citizens.
I want to change the image that comes to people’s minds when I say, “I have autism.” There isn’t one gender, race, social class – you name it – to people on the spectrum, just like there’s no specific “look” to a human being. Through theatre, I am working towards this. I’m so glad I found Clay and Spectrum Theatre Ensemble. I feel like I have found a new family and a place where my strengths are celebrated. If I could go back and show middle school Ava what she’ll accomplish in the future, I would. She’d see that she will be able to make friends, have mentors, and have a supportive atmosphere to collaborate and create art.
If I could go back and show middle school Ava what she’ll accomplish in the future, I would. She’d see that she will be able to make friends, have mentors, and have a supportive atmosphere to collaborate and create art.
Autism doesn’t have to be a speed bump in life. I’m slowly learning how to turn autism – which I at first perceived as a negative and a weakness – into something positive. Who knows, maybe autism, theatre, and sensory friendly initiatives will turn into a career.
(1) Asperger’s Syndrome is the antiquated term for high-functioning individuals on the spectrum. There used to be two categories. Now, it is one spectrum; individuals with autism fall anywhere from less severe to more severe.
(2) Sensory friendly shows are productions made accessible to neurodiverse theater patrons, including those on the autism spectrum. Before the production, patrons are sent a brief plot synopsis and a list of possible sensory triggers. This year, Trinity is using a warning lantern during the production to let audience members prepare themselves for any sudden sound cues, lighting cues, or intense action onstage.
If you have questions for Ava, feel free to email curious@culturesofdignity.com
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October 6, 2017
I’ve Got Your Back: Help Children Say Hello to Friends & Goodbye to Bullies
I’ve Got Your Back: Help Children Say Hello to Friends & Goodbye to Bullies, co-authored by Staci Schwartz and Lorna Blumen, is designed for parents, caregivers and/or teachers and children (aged 5–10) to read together. With engaging original stories, and practical activities, this book will help children develop self-esteem, empathy, and respect for themselves and others. Young children will learn strategies to protect themselves from social cruelty and to deal with bullying when it occurs.
Below is a wonderful activity from I’ve Got Your Back: Help Children Say Hello to Friends & Goodbye to Bullies.
Activity: Recognizing & Choosing Positive Friendships
Read children’s books with themes about friendship, empathy, respect, and bullying prevention. Don’t be afraid to pick short books with simple stories, even for older children. Choose from this list of our favorite children’s books, or find your own books about these important topics:
The Best Friends Book by Todd Parr (Little Brown Books for Young Readers, 2000).
Billy the Baaadly Behaving Bully Goat by Staci Schwartz (ComteQ Publishing, 2012).
Chester’s Way by Kevin Henkes (Greenwillow Books, 1988).
Feelings by Aliki (Greenwillow Books, 1986).
Frog and Toad Are Friends by Arnold Lobel (Harper Collins, 2003).
How to Be a Friend: A Guide to Making Friends and Keeping Them by Laurie Krasny Brown and Marc Brown (Little Brown Books for Young Readers, 2001).
The Hundred Dresses by Eleanor Estes (HMH Books for Young Readers, 2004).
The Invisible Boy by Trudy Ludwig (Knopf Books for Young Readers, 2013).
The New Bear on the Block by Staci Schwartz (ComteQ Publishing, 2006).
The Sneetches by Dr. Seuss (Random House, 1961).
Stand in My Shoes: Kids Learning About Empathy by Bob Sornson (Love and Logic Press, 2013).
Toot & Puddle: You Are My Sunshine by Holly Hobbie (Little Brown Books for Young Readers, 2010).
Yo! Yes? by Chris Raschka (Scholastic, 2007).
Parents: Read any of these books with your child.
Teachers & Classes: Create groups of 3–4 students and assign one book to each group. Make sure there’s at least one capable reader in the group. This activity provides a perfect opportunity to bring older children to your classroom as “book buddies,” to read to the younger students.
Parents & Teachers: Discuss and evaluate the story’s friendships and relationships. Here are some ideas:
Discuss each character in the story. Which characters are good friends? Why? Are any of the characters not acting like good friends? Why?
Ask your child or students to make a list of five things that make someone a good friend. How do good friends make you feel? What would you do if a friend hurt your feelings? What do the faces of friends look like when they are playing or talking? How do they talk to one another? Do good friends have to like all the same things? Do they ever fight? If they do, how do they solve the problem?
If one of the books has a character who acts like a bully, ask your child or students to identify the bad or mean behavior. How do the other characters handle the situation? Do they stick up for the target and act like upstanders, or do they say nothing or encourage the bully by being bystanders?
Discuss the bullying behavior of the characters. Take turns guessing why that character might be behaving that way. Remind your child or students not to be mean to, or exclude, bullies. Everyone deserves to be treated with kindness and respect, even while they are working to change their behavior. Don’t bully the bully—it’s easier for someone to change when they feel accepted. Ask your child or students what they would do if someone acting like a bully picked on them. What would they do if they saw one of their friends being picked on?
Ask your child or students what they would do if someone acting like a bully picked on them. What would they do if they saw one of their friends being picked on?
In the future, as you read other books with your child or class, take some time to focus on the feelings of the characters. How does the action of the story make the characters feel? How does it make the reader feel? Learn to identify the characters’ facial expressions and emotions from illustrations to enhance emotional knowledge and empathy.
About Staci Schwartz:
Staci Schwartz, MD is a physician, children’s book author, and bullying prevention education consultant. For the past 15 years, she has performed interactive readings of her books and bullying prevention workshops in public, private, and parochial elementary schools, religious institutions, libraries, and after-school programs in Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and Delaware. She has also worked with educators and has co-facilitated workshops such as “Teaching Tolerance in The Classroom” and “Using Children’s Literature to Prevent Bullying and Promote Empathy.”
Learn more at stacischwartz.com
About Lorna Blumen
Lorna Blumen MS, MBA is a children’s and adult workplace bullying prevention specialist. She is the author of five books, including Bullying Epidemic: Not Just Child’s Play and Girls’ Respect Groups: No More Mean Girls! She has appeared on Canadian and US television and radio and spoken at numerous international conferences.
Check out their website I’ve Got Your Back: IGYBbook.com
August 24, 2017
Upcoming Owning Up Professional Development Trainings
A child’s ability to learn depends on educators managing a task that has nothing to do with what they may teach: guiding young people as they navigate social dynamics.
Social media, social dynamics, and bullying influences every child’s ability to learn.
But the reality is educators rarely get training to develop this expertise. Even if they do, the training and resources can be unrealistic and don’t integrate and appreciate the educator’s expertise of their students, schools, or communities.
Rosalind Wiseman and the Cultures of Dignity team have designed a dynamic new approach to teaching these topics. Based on the second edition of the Owning Up Curriculum, it is also so much more. Whether you work in a school, a team, or a youth-serving organization, the Owning Up Training brings concrete strategies to prepare youth to be engaged learners and socially responsible citizens.
Taking the newest approaches and the latest feedback from educators and young people, we have redeveloped professional development to provide the skills and expertise that any educator needs to create a culture of dignity.
So join us! We will be hosting 3 full-day accredited trainings over the next two months:
OWNING UP PD TRAINING HOSTED BY LOUISVILLE COLLEGIATE SCHOOL
When? September 23rd, 2017 // 9:00am-4:30pm
Where? Louisville Collegiate School – Louisville, KY
Cost? $175*
OWNING UP PD TRAINING HOSTED BY REGION 13
When? October 3rd, 2017 // 9:00am – 4:00 pm
Where? Educational Service Center of Region 13 – Austin, TX
Cost? $175 or $150* early bird pricing before Sept. 20th
OWNING UP PD TRAINING HOSTED BY EVERGREEN COUNTRY DAY SCHOOL
When? October 13th, 2017 // 9:00am – 4:30pm
Where? Evergreen Country Day School – Evergreen CO
Cost? $175 or $150* early bird price before September 15th
REGISTER HERE
*All tickets include the brand new edition of the curriculum, breakfast & refreshments, and all handouts.
Graduate level credit from Adams State University is offered for an additional $27.50.
Certificates of completion for the 8 hours will be emailed to participants after the training.
The training is about….
Defining realistic definitions of bullying, by-standing, teasing, drama and social conflict.
Empowering educators to effectively guide young people in their social conflicts; including their conflicts in social media.
Building educator’s skills in social and emotional learning for themselves as well as the young people with whom they work.
Understanding the connections between adolescent development and group dynamics among teens.
Foster a culture of dignity for young people no matter where or how you teach.
Topics Covered
Group dynamics
Social media
Adolescent identity development
Managing social conflicts in classroom effectively
Teasing, Drama, Bullying
Questions? Email katie@culturesofdignity.com
August 21, 2017
Where Do We Get Our Courage?
Where Do We Get Our Courage?
You don’t start a fight but if someone starts one with you, you finish it.
My grandfather was the youngest of nine and the only child in his family that was born in the United States. And while he never said those exact words to me, the stories he shared about growing up in Pittsburgh were clear. You never back down. You keep fighting no matter how tough the circumstances, no matter how small you are, or how large your opponent.
A few days ago I was preparing for a teacher training in Iowa when I saw the devastating events in Charlottesville. I watched as the 45th President betrayed all of us and what this country stands for. As I have found myself repeatedly in the last year, I was frozen. Waves of doubt washed over me and I wondered “Does my work make any difference?” Then, like the times before, I sighed and something in me, shook me out of my stupor and got me on my feet again.
I have often wondered why I get up and keep going. Is it because I am a mother, daughter, wife, sister, and neighbor? Is it because I work in education so I have the opportunity to contribute to the world in a meaningful way?
I keep going because to my core I believe the following:
I believe our communities are based on a common belief that everyone’s dignity is an inalienable right.
I believe we must be united to protect and treasure that inalienable right.
I believe our purpose is to help our children critically and thoughtfully respond to the ideas and people around them.
I believe in creating, valuing, and ensuring intellectually diverse environments so we can all learn new ways of looking at the world.
I believe we must recognize the threat that stands before us and meet that threat with strength, purpose and courage.
But the fear, sadness and anxiety can feel so overwhelming. So what are the actions we can take? From my work around the country, here’s what I think is most important.
We will not accept mockery. It doesn’t matter that the President uses mockery as a default response. Just because someone in a position of power abuses that power or is a poor role model, doesn’t give anyone else an excuse to do the same thing.
We will reach towards each other and listen when we are angry and we will confront people who refuse to do the same.
We will encourage dialogue where people can articulate and voice different opinions.
We will assume people’s good intentions.
We will not gloat over other people’s mistakes.
We will hold other adults accountable when they demean another.
When people gossip and trash another person, we will respond with, “That sounds really hard for that person. What can we do to help them?”
We will admit when we make a mistake.
We will apologize meaningfully–knowing that an apology is a gift that not everyone can unwrap right away.
We will embrace the opportunity to have conversations and experiences that make us uncomfortable.
We will commit an act of courage every day, no matter how small, to uphold the dignity of each and every one of us.
As a parent, what strikes me is the incredible balance so many of us have to find, squaring the seemingly trivial and mundane with the profound. Trivial: how to teach my 14 year-old son to be civil when I ask him to take in the groceries and not yell at him while I am trying to achieve this goal. Profound: talking to him about living in a world where people are driven by fear and hate.
As an educator, if you work with children, no matter what you teach, consider beginning your school year with the following:
I am your Math/ELA/History teacher but more important than any subject we cover is that every person here is treated with dignity and feels welcome in my class. That is my most important responsibility to each of you. And if you come to me with a problem, I will do everything I can to make it better. I may not know exactly how to fix it but I can be the bridge who gets you to the right person and I will be there with you every step of the way. But this class will be a place where people know that they belong.
We have to remember we are united in common purpose. We are building a defense against the hatred, anxiety, fear, self-righteousness and moral cowardice.
You don’t start a fight but if someone starts one with you, you finish it.
I didn’t start this fight but I will do everything I can to end it. My ancestors were Jewish immigrants from Poland and Germany. They did what so many of families did and continue to do. They made better lives for their children. They were tough and stubborn. They faced evil with courage and determination and survived. My grandparents gave me the same qualities.
I just needed to remember where and who I came from. I am reminded and I will not stop. None of us can because what we are fighting for is too important.
This article originally appeared on Rosalind’s Classroom Conversations on Anti-Defamation League here.
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