Beth K. Vogt's Blog, page 10

Choosing to Face the Effects of Uncertainty

 

My youngest daughter, Christa, is home for spring break from college.

Only it’s not the spring break she planned on.

It’s not the spring break hundreds of thousands of college students planned on.

After I wrote that last sentence my husband, Rob, Christa, and I paused to do some quick mental math and decided the sentence should read “millions of college students.”

The Coronavirus (COVID-19) has demolished expectations around the world.

Christa arrived at Denver International Airport four days ago with two suitcases and two backpacks. One backpack was full of college textbooks and weighed so much I was scared to try and pick it up.

Christa’s happy to be home … and she misses her life back on campus. These ongoing circumstances are not what she ever imagined for her freshman year in college. She’s sleeping in her bedroom at home, with a lot of her belongings in her dorm room at Bethel University in Minnesota.

Classes? Canceled. Volleyball practice? Canceled. Time with friends? Canceled. Her two jobs? Canceled.

I like to say there’s no pause button on life. But the events of the last few weeks feel as if an unseen hand hit PAUSE on life, doesn’t it?

And we don’t know when the START button is going to be activated.

Uncertainty in the short-term is uncomfortable. If it continues to linger, uncertainty – doubt, insecurity – tends to invite fear.

I think we would all agree that times are uncertain right now. We’re all asking questions like “Will the store have what I’m looking for?” (It will if everyone will be reasonable) to “When can I go back to work?” to “Am I going to get sick?”

We just don’t know.

And we’re all scared. To some degree or another, we’re scared.

There. I said it out loud.

I don’t want to be scared. I don’t really believe in a giant unseen hand. I believe in God who has proven to be trustworthy again and again, but yeah, this whole COVID-19 thing? It has scared me.

When I get scared I take a deep breath, admit it, and choose to trust God, not my emotions.

Maybe I laugh at a funny meme or read an encouraging post or listen to a favorites praise and worship song. (Right now “His Banner Over Me is Love” is a favorite.)

And repeat, repeat, repeat.

You know what else I’ve decided during this time of uncertainty?

I’ve decided to listen.

 Everyone has their own story, their own feelings, about what’s going on. I know mine. I want to know others’ stories.

We are connected by our stories.

Yes, we’re spending time in our homes. A lot more time than we ever imagined. Our normal routines have been interrupted for who-knows-how-long. But we can still connect with each other and share our stories. Our fears. Our hopes. What’s working for us during this time of “social distancing.” What’s not working.

Tell me how you’re doing. I really want to know … I want to know you better.

Choosing to Face the Effects of Uncertainty http://bit.ly/2xHVK2E #coronavirus #hope
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'Uncertainty is the refuge of hope.' Quote by Henri Frederic Amiel http://bit.ly/2xHVK2E #uncertainty #coronavirus #hope
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JUST A QUICK FYI: Things I Never Told You, book 1 in my Thatcher Sisters Series, is on sale for only $1.99 — the e-version. The Best We’ve Been, the final book in series, releases this May, so this is a great time to start the series or re-read book 1. Just click here or on the image below to take advantage of the sale.

Christian Fiction Scavenger Hunt Stop #22

THIS HUNT IS NOT YET LIVE. WE’RE STILL WORKING OUT OUR LINKS. WE GO LIVE AT NOON (MST) on 3/12. PLEASE RETURN AFTER THAT.

 

 

Welcome to the Christian Fiction Scavenger Hunt! If you’ve just discovered the hunt, be sure to start at Stop #1, and collect the clues through all the stops, in

order, so you can enter to win one of our top 5 grand prizes!

The hunt BEGINS on 3/12 at noon MST with Stop #1 at LisaTawnBergren.com.
Hunt through our loop using Chrome or Firefox as your browser (not Explorer).
There is NO RUSH to complete the hunt—you have all weekend (until Sunday, 3/15 at midnight MST)! So take your time, reading the unique posts along the way; our hope is that you discover new authors/new books and learn new things about them.
Submit your entry for the grand prizes by collecting the CLUE on each author’s scavenger hunt post and submitting your answer in the Rafflecopter form at the final stop, back on Lisa’s site. Many authors are offering additional prizes along the way!

Hi, I’m Beth K. Vogt. On my way to writing women’s fiction, I’ve been a magazine editor for MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers International), written nonfiction, contemporary romance, and juggled life as a mom and military wife. You can learn more about me and my books on Instagram, Pinterest, BookBub, my Readers Group, and my Author Facebook page. My upcoming release is The Best We’ve Been, the final book in my Thatcher Sisters Series:

How can you choose what is right for you when your decision will break the heart of someone you love?

Despite years of distance and friction, Johanna and her sisters, Jillian and Payton, have moved from a truce toward a fragile friendship. But then Johanna reveals she has the one thing Jillian wants most and may never have—and Johanna doesn’t want it. As Johanna wrestles with a choice that will change her life and her relationships with her sisters forever, the cracks in Jillian’s marriage and faith deepen. Through it all, the Thatcher sisters must decide once and for all what it means to be family.

 I thought about writing Johanna’s story while I wrote books one and two, and she was the most challenging sister to write. I can’t wait to tell you more about the oldest Thatcher Sister.

Writing an Unlikeable Character … On Purpose

 

Have you ever met someone who rubs you the wrong way?

It isn’t one thing this person says or does – no, everything about her makes this woman completely unlikeable.

While I don’t like to admit it, there are probably people who have struggled to like me.

Ouch.

In my three-book Thatcher Sisters Series, I wrote an unlikeable character. On purpose.

Let me introduce you to Johanna Thatcher, older sister of Payton, Pepper, and Jillian.

Johanna is your worst nightmare when it comes to “I am the boss of you” older sisters. Yes, she’s smart. Beautiful. And she’s in control – of her life, and everyone else’s.

Think of Margaret Tate, Sandra Bullock’s ultra-thin, stiletto-wearing, micro-managing book editor in the movie “The Proposal.”

 Only Johanna is a thirtysomething pharmacist, with a long-term, long-distance romance and her eyes set on a coveted promotion.

Some of my readers did not like Johanna. At all.

I was okay with that. I knew more of Johanna’s story than my readers did. Yes, she was behaving badly, but I also knew why.

An author-friend of mine said this after she finished reading Things I Never Told You, book 1 in the series,“Johanna doesn’t bother me. There are reasons why she does the things she does – says the things she says.”

The same is true for those real-life unlikeable people we meet – and for you and me, too, when we’re being, um, disagreeable. There are reasons – often unknown ones – for why we act the way we do. Past hurts. Heart wounds.

When we read a book, we let the story unfold, the character arc develop. In the same way, we need to pause before we label someone “unlikeable.” Instead, we need to take time to discover more about them – and hope they might offer the same graciousness to us.

Curious about the Thatcher sisters? I invite you to meet them in Things I Never Told You (Payton’s story); Moment’s We Forget (Jillian’s story); and The Best We’ve Been (Johanna story), releasing this May.

 

Here’s Your Stop #22 Basics:

If you’re interested, you can pre-order The Best We’ve Been on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Christianbook.com, or at your local bookstore! And the e-book of Things I Never Told You, book 1 in the series, is on sale for only $1.99!

Your CLUE to write down: times…

Link to Stop #23, the next stop on the loop: Suzanne Woods Fisher

 

But wait!! Before you go! I’M OFFERING AN ADDITIONAL PRIZE: 3 books to 3 entrants – your choice of copy of one of my Thatcher Sisters Series books. (International winners will automatically receive e-copies.) Follow me on BookBub for a chance to win. Additional entries for following my blog or following me on Instagram. Use the Rafflecopter form below!

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Choosing not to be a Grumbler

I’ve been grumbling a lot this past week.

Out loud and often, about one particular thing I’m frustrated about.

It doesn’t matter what I was complaining about – although some of you are nodding your heads and thinking, “I’ve been listening to your grousing. Enough, already!”

It’s so easy to get upset about things, especially when we feel so right, so justified, about our complaints. And it’s also so easy to get vocal about our feelings – to talk, talk, talk about how we’ve been wronged. Inconvenienced. Put out. Mistreated.

We’re just venting, right? Getting it out so we feel better.

But then we have another opportunity with another family member or friend to circle back around and voice the same grievances. Replay the same injustices.

We stir up the negative emotions again. We get annoyed while we explain why we’re right and the other person is wrong. How we would have done it (more) right. How we should have said no instead of yes – which might be true, but really isn’t the point anymore.

Our grumbling exhausts us. Crankiness wears us out both emotionally and physically.

Even worse, we dump our negativity on other people.

Friends and family, I’m sorry for some of my words this past week. For being a grumbler.

I’m determined to do better.

When my attitude starts heading south, I need to anchor it to truths that help me stay positive.

Pastor John Piper says, “Do all things without grumbling. Why? You have a sovereign God who is on your side, who works everything together for your good.”

 Remembering that God is for me and that he is working all things out for my good? That anchors my emotions. (Psalm 56:9; Romans 8:28)

My author friend Tricia Goyer wrote The Grumble Free Year: Twelve Months, Eleven Family Members; One Impossible Goal. In her book, Tricia says, “Complaining is wanting our way without treating others—or God—with respect.”

  Whoa.

Just that one sentence changes my perspective about grumbling. I’d never thought about my complaining being disrespectful toward others … and toward God. But if I’m grumbling about someone, I’m certainly not lifting them up. And if I’m complaining about God, then I’m doubting him and his ability to come through for me.

Well, this is my “be honest” blog for the week. It feels good to admit I have had less than shining moments. But more importantly, I’m pushing reset today. Just for today. Attitude adjustments are best taken one day, one hour, at a time.

 

Choosing not to be a Grumbler http://bit.ly/39nFguu #attitude #choices
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'Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.' Quote by Winston Churchill http://bit.ly/39nFguu #nogrumbling #attitude
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How Grief Shapes Us

My son-in-love, David, lost his mom when he was 10 years old.

Losing your mom when you’re a young child? I see the faint flicker of his heartache in David’s eyes whenever he mentions his mom.

All of us are familiar with the companionship of grief.

Throughout our lives, we all must learn and relearn the halting steps of grief when varied circumstances, sometimes expected or tragic, ambush our hearts with sorrow.

We wrestle with questions like “why” and “how.” We try to manage our grief with stages and to piece our broken hearts back together with platitudes.

Sometimes nothing helps. Sometimes silence helps. And sometimes … sometimes something someone says helps.

David, a man well-acquainted with journeying with grief, shared a thought with me a few days ago that is helping him shoulder his loss more easily.

“Grief never gets smaller,” David said, recounting something he’d heard while watching a TV drama. “You have to end up growing bigger than your grief and you do that by letting other people in.”

We often try to downsize grief. We tell people that they should be over it, as if what they were grieving – the loss of a spouse or the loss of a relationship or the loss of a job – was no big deal. That it’s not worth the time or attention they’re giving to it. As if you can put a stopwatch on heartbreak.

But rather than minimizing grief, maybe we should give ourselves – and others – time to grow bigger than our grief so we can bear up under our pain.

What if we invited others in to our grief? Or what if we were willing to risk to step into someone else’s grief? Let’s be honest, sorrow is an uncomfortable emotion for those of us walking through it and for those of us offering someone else a shoulder to lean on.

One of the things my son-in-love did to help him face his grief? David imagined seeing his mom again in heaven one day. Sitting down and having a conversation with her, talking about all the things he’d done with his life. David wants their conversation to be good.

And it’s going to be … because my son-in-love, David? He’s chosen to grow bigger than his grief. He’s chosen to let other people into his life. I know his mom would be proud of the man he has become and will continue to become … and I’m overjoyed to call David my son.

Yes, grief can shape you … but can be a beautiful, beautiful thing.

 

How Grief Shapes Us http://bit.ly/39WDjFx #perspective #hope
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'Our grief is as individual as our lives.' Quote by Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross http://bit.ly/39WDjFx #grief #perspective
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Love is a Choice We Make Every Day

 

Today’s blog post is pretty straightforward. With Valentine’s Day on Friday, I thought it would be fun to share a few quotes about love.

 

“Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.”

Mother Teresa

Now before you move on from this post because you’re not into all the forced, commercialized romance of Valentine’s Day, let me just say that I selected a variety of quotes about love, not just romantic ones. I mean, yes, Valentine’s Day is all about romance, but love isn’t limited to the “I’m falling in love with you” experience.

There’s the love between friends. There’s the love between parents and children. There’s the love we have for people we admire – mentors and teachers. And yes, I’m going to say it, we love our pets, too.

“Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life.”

Leo Buscaglia

Sometimes we finding ourselves loving the most unexpected people … and we find ourselves struggling to love the people we’re supposed to love. Sometimes … sometimes it takes us the longest to love ourselves.

Loving others and being loved changes us. It’s risky … but choosing not to love others limits our ability to grow into our truest selves.

“I have found the one whom my soul loves.”

Song of Solomon 3:4

Love is a distinct form of bravery. It’s accepting someone else for who they are, with no assurance of receiving the same. Love is giving, without waiting to see if someone else is going to respond in kind.

So yes, today’s blog post was prompted because Valentine’s Day is on Friday. But really, when you think about it, love is a choice we make every day, isn’t it?

“The only thing we never get enough of is love; and the only thing we never give enough of is love.”

Henry Miller

Love is a Choice We Make Every Day http://bit.ly/31V8KgA #perspective #love
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'Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.' Quote by Martin Luther King Junior http://bit.ly/31V8KgA #choosinglove #encouragment
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Choosing to be Present Today

 

I tossed several topics around for this blog post. Things like the Super Bowl halftime show or the president’s State of the Union address or how about the craziness of the Iowa caucus?

Nah.

I’m not about wading into controversy and ruffling feathers today.

Instead, I came across these words by poet Maya Angelou:

“Every day I awaken grateful. My intent is to be totally present in that day. And laugh as much as possible.”

This world is full of division. Anger. Criticism.

Today I’m encouraged by Maya Angelou’s words to do three things.

I’m choosing gratitude. My husband and I try to start out each morning with the words, “This is the day the Lord has made, we will rejoice and be glad in it” from Psalm 18:24 (NKJ). We also try to end each day with the words, “This is the day the Lord made, we rejoiced and were glad in it.”

Sometimes we’re half asleep when we whisper the words to one another, but we’re determined to hem our hours in with gratitude.

It’s all too easy to get caught up in people’s negativity. But today I’m choosing to remember all the reasons I have to be thankful. I’m grateful for my husband and my kiddos and my GRANDkiddos. For the chance to have coffee with a friend later this morning. For the daily texts and silly SnapChats that help me stay connected with my youngest daughter while she’s away at college in Minnesota.

I’m choosing to be present. No looking back over my shoulder at what I didn’t get done yesterday. No worrying about tomorrow – tomorrow will bring its own worries. (Matthew 6:34) I’m going to remember that my One Word for 2020 is LISTEN and when someone else is talking I’m going to focus on what they’re saying, not start formulating my response. I’m going to put my phone aside and ignore it because the person in front of me is more important than Facebook or Instagram or Twitter.

I’m choosing to laugh. “If you’re too busy to laugh, you’re too busy.” ~Proverb Laughter is my favorite sound and today I’m going to look for opportunities to laugh out loud as often as possible. If I could, I’d bottle up the laughter of children because there’s nothing so refreshing, so joy-filled, as the irrepressible giggles of a child. And I’m not laughing at myself or at anyone else because that’s just mean.

I invite you to join me today. Be grateful. Be present. Laugh. If we choose to do even one of these things, it will be a good day. Do all three? I’m thinking today will exceed our expectations!

Choosing to be Present Today http://bit.ly/31yGss4 #perspective #encouragement
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'Every day I awaken I am grateful. My intent is to be totally present in that day. And laugh as much as possible.' Quote by Maya Angelou http://bit.ly/31yGss4 #gratitude #encouragment
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The Ongoing Battle with Beauty

 

We all grow up knowing our place in our families. And that “place” determines our identity.

Firstborn. Middle child. The baby. Sometimes we’re the only child.

Among my two brothers and two sisters, I was the ugly one.

Now before you say something like, “Surely you exaggerate,” let me assure you I’m not.

I knew my place in my family because it was clearly assigned, stated out loud, by both my siblings and my parents. To this day, I still hear their words in my head. I still see where I was when the words were spoken.

I grew up knowing I was ugly because what else was I to believe? Our family of origin is where we first learn truth. About life. About ourselves. Who was I to question what I was told? I was a child all those years ago, not one to question authority, or a sibling for that matter.

I believed what they said. Even worse, I agreed with what they said.

This post isn’t a “woe is me” monologue. Believe me when I say I’m fine – even more, I’m healed.

With this post, I challenged myself to take one large “Mother, may I?” step forward in honesty to write openly about a lie I believed for decades. Years and years and years of my life I accepted the label of ugly. I wrapped the word around myself like some sort of itchy wool blanket. I saw the brand every single time I looked in the mirror.

Most likely we’ve all heard the phrase “Beauty is only skin deep.” It comes from a poem written by Sir Thomas Overbury in 1613 that states: “All the carnall beauty of my wife, Is but skin deep.”

My question is this: If beauty is only skin deep, why do we have so many problems getting past it?

Too many females of all ages are bullied by beauty. We’re taunted with questions like, “Am I pretty enough?” Other times, girls are told they’re too pretty. It’s as if we’re forced to grow up in a not-so-fun-house with distorted mirrors, warping our sense of self.

Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, will I ever be pretty enough at all?

How can we be satisfied with who we see in the mirror when we wage the beauty battle every single day of our lives? When people – family, friends, enemies, the media – are all too-willing to judge our appearances? When beauty is defined by photoshopped graphic images presented as reality? When “skin deep” beauty rules the day and we’re found lacking – or ironically too much – again and again and again?

Today? I’ve thrown off the lie of ugliness, but I was 30 years old before I did so. That’s a lot of years of shouldering the weight of a falsehood.

When my three daughters were growing up, I chose my words oh so carefully about their looks. I talked to them over and over again about how they could talk about themselves. They know my story and they don’t allow me to talk negatively about myself, either. We’ve got each other’s back.

And yes, life is more than the pursuit of what I call the longing for a little bit of pretty. But, friends, we can’t deny the battle with beauty. We need to help each other confront our lies. Find healing. And recognize the truth that each of us possesses our own personal little bit of pretty.

 

The Ongoing Battle with Beauty http://bit.ly/3aSedIP #identity #encouragement
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'I've never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful.' Author Unknown http://bit.ly/3aSedIP #beauty #selfworth
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Must We Forget to Forgive?

I spent some time yesterday talking with a new friend about forgiveness – both what I’ve learned and what I’ve un-learned about forgiving someone who has hurt me.

As we talked, she mentioned the words, “Forgive and forget.”

I’m not a fan of those three words.

Please, don’t misunderstand me.

I value forgiveness. Reconciliation is my favorite word in the Bible – it’s the core truth in all of Scripture.

I’ve fought to understand true forgiveness, sifting through all the definitions and conditions presented to me by experts: authors and teachers and preachers and mentors and counselors.

It’s taken me years to understand forgiveness, to separate truth from personal opinion – my own, as well as others’ ideas about forgiveness.

Too often someone wise – wiser than you, supposedly – demands that you forget an offense.  They sum forgiveness up in two steps:

Forgive
Forget

It’s as if saying you’ve forgotten the offense proves you’ve truly forgiven the person who hurt you.

Forgiveness does not require forgetting.

Some offenses are so grievous they are impossible to forget. Abuse. Neglect. Divorce. Infidelity. Such wounds go soul-deep and can even cause someone to suffer Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

In no way am I suggesting that we wallow in our pain. But demanding an unrealistic expectation that someone forget a life-altering emotional injury hinders someone’s ability to forgive.

It’s vital to realize forgiveness is a process.

Consider this: Let’s say you and your brother were sitting in a tree in your backyard. For some reason, your brother and you got in a fight and your brother shoved you right out of the tree so that you fell to the ground, breaking your leg.

No one in their right mind would tell you, “Don’t worry about getting that leg fixed. Just forget that happened.”

You’re injured. You have a broken leg that requires both medical care and time to heal. Even then, you may always walk with a limp – a reminder of what happened.

But we so often ignore emotional injuries – the broken hearts, the wounded spirits – hidden inside of others and inside of us. We tell others to forgive and forget, instead of remembering that any kind of healing requires time. And even with the passage of time, with healing, our hearts may have an “emotional limp” because of what happened to us. I truly believe this is when we become more compassionate to others.

Forgiveness brings healing – to us, to our relationship with others. But let’s not fall prey to the lie that forgiveness demands some sort of emotional amnesia on our part. Over time the memory will fade, the pain will lessen – thank God.

Start the process of forgiveness where you are today … and be gentle with yourself. You’re healing.

Must We Forget to Forgive? http://bit.ly/30HUF5r #forgiveness #healing
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'Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.' Quote by Martin Luther King Jr. http://bit.ly/30HUF5r #forgiveness #encouragement #martinlutherkingjunior
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We are Made for Anticipation

I was chatting with my friend Gianna on the phone yesterday when she said, “I feel like it’s the day after Disneyland.” And then she laughed. “You know what I mean?”

Yes. Yes, I knew exactly what Gianna meant. You probably do too.

Disneyland. “The happiest place on earth” right? Most of us plan for weeks, if not months, to go on a Disney vacation. And then we experience all that happiness – the rides, the shows, the parades – and we come home e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d.

So why was yesterday a day-after-Disneyland kind of day for Gianna?

She was up at 4 a.m. to take one of her college-age daughters to the airport. Several hours later as we caught up with each other, she said, “I’m finally putting away the Christmas decorations.”

And that’s when she confessed her day-after-Disneyland fatigue.

Her words were such a perfect description of the after-the-holidaze slump. All the reasons to go, go, go are gone. So are the visiting family and friends. All the extras—the “lights, camera, and ACTION!” of the season have ended. All that’s left is, well, the cleanup.

(And to be honest, while working on this blog I finally reorganized my gift box and my wrapping paper that was cluttering my bedroom.)

Gianna’s next words had me tucking my phone against my ear and shoulder so I could grab a pen and scribble them down.

“We are built for anticipation.”

  Yes.

I fought to stay in the conversation even as I started delving into the significance of her words.

We are built for anticipation.

There’s something about waiting … waiting with hope because we know something good is going to happen. Our car ride ends at the happiest, most magical place on earth. Or we wake up and – at last! – it’s Christmas morning.

But today?

Today it’s after all the holiday fun and we’re just tired, cleaning up the mess. And really, what are we waiting for?

What are we anticipating?

Maybe we just need to remember that we are made for anticipation and we’re waiting for something so much bigger than seeing Mickey Mouse or finding out what’s hidden beneath all the wrapping paper and bows.

I agree with my friend that anticipation is woven into our DNA by our Creator. Ecclesiastes 3:11 (NLT) says “He has planted eternity in the human heart …”

We long for more than now. For more than this. Our hearts are looking forward to the “more” God has promised us. For what waits for us in eternity, when there’s no more disappointment, no more suffering, no more heartache.

During our lifetime we’ll experience all sorts of anticipations, little ones and Disney-size ones. But each one is a mere glimpse of one embedded in our soul. As motivational speaker Wayne Dyer said, “You are not a human being having a spiritual experience. You are a spiritual being having a human experience.”

We are Made for Anticipation http://bit.ly/2NrsDWh #perspective #expectations #faith
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'Looking forward to things is half the pleasure of them.' Quote by Lucy Maud Montgomery http://bit.ly/2NrsDWh #anticipation #waiting
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When It’s Not a Happy New Year

We’re eight days into the new year and may I just say I’d like a do-over?

Of course, I know that’s not how life works. There’s no rewind button in life. No pause button, either. We do life in forward motion – sometimes fast-forward.

Circumstances? Well, they are often beyond our control. The first week of this brand-new year has taught me that reality once again.

One of my adult daughters welcomed 2020 from a hospital room. There wasn’t a whole lot of celebration going on. Her husband sat in the room next to her bed and held her hand while she slept – and he was thankful they were together.

The first days of the new year overflowed with stress and concern and sleepless nights intertwined with lots and lots of prayers.

Our family banded together because it’s what we do. We traded off cars and taking care of the two young GRANDgirls and the two big dogs and going to the hospital and getting meals for my son-in-love and answering phone calls and updating Facebook posts so friends would know how to pray. Sometimes we slept. Sometimes we didn’t.

In between the unexpected crisis, we dealt with all the regular stuff of life as best we could because real life goes on even when everything has been upended by a medical emergency.

We all like to think of the new year as a fresh start … something better than what we had last year.

But to be honest, 2019 was a tough year for me. For my family.

And 2020 has started out much the same.

And I know I don’t get a do-over.

And I know I’m not promised easier days ahead.

Yes, it’s a new year, but it’s the same old lesson: I can’t control my circumstances no matter how much I want to. No matter how hard I try.

Life is full of both the hard and the good … and I don’t get to choose what each day holds.

I can only choose how I respond to the circumstances in each day.

And sometimes … sometimes I don’t want to make the right choices. I just want to react. Go with the “why me?” or the “is this ever going to get better?” responses.

It’s easier to act that way, but those kinds of questions just make a tough situation worse.

Instead, I need to:

Avoid jumping to conclusions. “Life has always been this tough” and “Life will never be any better than this” are not fair statements. Overreacting doesn’t help me or anyone else.
Be gentle with myself. In times of stress, I find ways to decrease pressure. Naps are good. Saying no to non-essentials is even better.
Look for the good. It’s easy to get tunnel vision during a crisis and see only the negative. I need to purposefully look for positive things, even if it’s as simple as a feel-good YouTube video or listening to my GRANDkiddos’ laughter or recalling a favorite Scripture passage.

What about you? Are you looking for a do-over in the new year? What do you do when circumstances are beyond your control?

 

When it's Not a Happy New Year http://bit.ly/2Qy8lMT #perspective #encouragement
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'Circumstances are beyond human control, but our conduct is in our own power.' Quote by Benjamin Disraeli http://bit.ly/2Qy8lMT #perspective #encouragement
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