Beth K. Vogt's Blog, page 14

When You Meet a Family Crisis on a Street Corner

Learning to Listen with Our Hearts

@bethvogt

 

I went for a walk with my friend Mary yesterday morning. We’re long-time walking buddies, but this was our first opportunity in months to go walking together. You know how life gets busy and days go by and you keep thinking, “Maybe tomorrow there’ll be time to do (fill in the blank.)”

And then it doesn’t happen because life just gets busier and busier.

Mary and I were both looking forward to the chance to catch up on life.

We were about ten minutes into the walking and talking – just warming up – when Mary stopped. Turned around. And asked the teen girl behind us – the one I hadn’t noticed – “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” The girl’s words were barely audible, muffled behind her hands that covered her face.

“No, you’re not.” Mary’s words were gentle. “Can we help you?”

“My parents kicked me out of the house.” And with those words, the girl broke down.

It was 7:30 on a Tuesday morning. I hadn’t even had breakfast yet. And this girl, who is a junior in high school, had been kicked out of her house.

Mary put her arms around Chelsea* and asked if we could pray for her. And then the three of us walked to her friend’s house, only to find out that no one was home. Long story short, we drove Chelsea to school. She didn’t have her phone or her books – her parents kicked her out with nothing but the clothes she was wearing.

“It’s okay. My friend has a duffle bag with my stuff in it. This has happened before,” Chelsea told us.

I know there are two sides to every story – and yes, I only know Chelsea’s explanation of why she was kicked out of her home. I’ve reminded myself of that several times since we dropped Chelsea off at school. As I’ve wondered where she slept Tuesday night. I hope, if she’s not back at home, she’s safe at her friend’s house.

And I’m not judging Chelsea’s parents. Really, I’m not.

But I am asking myself why would parents throw  their child out of their house? Why would it be so common that their child would learn to keep a duffel bag at a friend’s house?

Chelsea pointed out her house as we drove past while taking her to school. It looks like a nice house. A quiet house. You would never know just by looking at it that there’d been that kind of drama, that kind of turmoil, hours earlier.

Which proves that we never know what’s going on behind those closed doors with the decorative wreaths or the welcome signs or the pretty potted plants.

And those quiet teenagers we pass on the street sometimes? We never know about them, either. They may just be out for a walk. Or they may be walking with no place to go … but you have to be like my friend Mary to notice them. She’s the kind of person who listens with her heart.

 

*not her real name

 

When You Meet a Family Crisis on a Street Corner http://bit.ly/2JkI963 #teens #parents
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'Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.' Quote by Wendy Mass http://bit.ly/2JkI963 #bekind #perspective
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Moments We Forget released just over a week ago and I’m still celebrating. One Amazon reviewer said, “Beth Vogt has created a rich, poignant story about messy, authentic characters who are wrestling with challenging issues.” Don’t miss the opportunity to get the e-book for only $4.99.

 

Get Moments We Forget by @bethvogt for only $4.99! One Amazon reviewer said, 'Beth Vogt has created a rich, poignant story about messy, authentic characters who are wrestling with challenging issues.' https://buff.ly/2Vn7Bt3 #ebook #womensfiction
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Choosing Not to Brood About Turning 60

Let’s Choose to Live Well

@bethvogt

 

I turned 60 a few days ago.

After blogging about this birthday back in January, I haven’t been brooding about it since then. It turns out being on deadline doesn’t leave you much time to brood. And then my youngest daughter had prom the day before my birthday – she’s a senior in high school – and so we were caught up in celebrating that milestone.

I wasn’t ignoring my birthday. No. I was busy doing life.

And I’m thankful for my life, especially when I consider the how-did-this-happen loss of author and speaker Rachel Held Evans. I’m grieving for all of those whose hearts are broken by this unexpected tragedy. If we do nothing else today, let’s say a prayer for Rachel’s family and friends.

Her recent death puts age in perspective. It’s not about getting older. It’s about life. It’s about being thankful for the time we have … realizing we do not number our days.

Some of you may recall my January post “Coming to Grips with Age: Jamie Lee Curtis, Barbie, and Me” – and how I wondered if I could stare down turning 60 with as much confidence as actress Jamie Lee Curtis. I’m certainly not opting for plastic, like Barbie.

My blog post was prompted by Jamie Lee Curtis’s article in a Good Housekeeping Magazine, where she presented different life principles that helped her handle life with confidence. Today, I thought I’d share four things I’ve learned on my way to this milestone birthday.

Failure happens. It is always found along the path to success. Don’t panic. Don’t hide the times when you stumble. Talk out what happened – what you did, what you should have done – with trusted friends and mentors. Learn from things that didn’t go right and move on.
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. If you want to imitate someone, find someone who is kind, and imitate them.
A girl needs her girlfriends. And yes, a guy needs his guy friends, too. (And let’s not get into the age-old debate about whether a guy and girl can really be friends, okay?) My girlfriends have been one of my most trusted safety nets during tough times. Conversation and laughter with a good friend are healing.
Smile – really, really big. Okay, one riff off Jamie Lee Curtis. She handles aging by not looking in the mirror, stating, “I’m a 60-year-old woman. I am not going to look the same way as I used to, and I don’t want to be confronted by that every single day!” She turns her back on the mirror when she gets out of the shower. Me? When I look in the mirror and don’t like what I see, I smile. Really, really big. And what I don’t like disappears.

There you have it, wisdom learned along the way to turning 60. I’d love to hear any wise words from you today. Come on, I know you’ve learned a few things in life, no matter what your age.

 

Choosing Not to Brood About Turning 60 by @bethvogt http://bit.ly/2JpXEci #livewell #perspective
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'God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.' Quote by Voltaire http://bit.ly/2JpXEci #livewell #choices
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Moments We Forget, the second book in my Thatcher Sisters Series, released May 7! Enter for the Celebrate Lit Tour giveaway for Moments We Forget, for a chance to win a $25 Amazon gift card and a copy of my “Little Women gone wrong” novel. The contest is from May 7-20.

Don’t miss the Celebration Tour for Moments We Forget by award-winning author @bethvogt from May 7 - 20 with 39 blog stops! Enter for a chance to win a $25 Amazon gift card and copy of Beth’s novel. https://buff.ly/2ZVuuY6 #womensfiction…
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What Do We Do When Our Stories Collide?

Choosing to be Kind and Gracious

by @bethvogt

Two stories collided the other day – and erupted in kindness and grace.

The collision played out on national TV during a morning news show, and so I wonder if most people viewed it as merely news, overlooking the exchange of kindheartedness and graciousness.

Allow me to recount the story for you:

On Monday, April 22, two disparate stories played out on the Today Show:

Meteorologist Dylan Dreyer shared her struggle with miscarriage and secondary infertility.
News anchor Jenna Bush Hager announced she was 5 ½ months pregnant with her third child.

It was revealed later that neither woman knew what the other one was going to say that morning. Hager’s announcement was a surprise – the timing was based on the fact she and her husband had told their two daughters she was pregnant the day before. Dreyer’s news segment coincided with National Infertility Awareness Week. And so, their stories collided in a very public way: One woman discussing her sorrow and loss and longing for another child. Another woman celebrating an unexpected pregnancy.

Of course, social media – Twitter and Instagram – lit up with people responding to both women’s stories. But one of the first comments I read was shockingly negative, shaming Hager for sharing her pregnancy news on the same day Dreyer talked about her infertility.

What? 

Yes, at first, the timing for the two stories could seem awkward at best, even insensitive. But it was also an honest view of real life. How we can be dealing with one thing – a joy-filled occasion – and be unaware that the person next to us can be grieving. And the other person can be our close friend.

The truth is, Hager understands Dreyer’s heartache because she’s experienced the pain of infertility, too.

Here’s the beautiful part of this story … the part I keep thinking about. How Dreyer and Hager responded to one another as friends who know and love one another. As friends who respect each other’s story. As they discussed how the pregnancy and infertility intertwined on Monday morning in front of thousands of TV viewers, Dreyer said, “Your joy doesn’t add to my sadness.”

How kind. How gracious. How understanding.

So often our story collides with someone else’s story and we may never realize it. But when the intertwining happens in such a way that we know … that we see the reaction or we have a chance to respond … may we choose kindness. May we choose grace.

We can decide to think the worst of someone else, or we can choose to think better of them. We can pause and realize that, in the midst of someone’s joy, they can also recognize and have room to embrace our pain. We can understand that a time of celebration does not mean someone will overlook our heartache. The one does not preclude the other – not in the presence of a true friend.

What Do We Do When Our Stories Collide? Choosing to Be Kind and Gracious http://bit.ly/2PsO4Ge #friendship #bekind
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'Your joy doesn't add to my sadness' quote by @DylanDreyerNBC @JennaBushHager http://bit.ly/2PsO4Ge #NationalInfertilityAwarenessWeek #friendship
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'What wisdom can you find that is greater than kindness?' quote by Jean-Jacques Rousseau http://bit.ly/2PsO4Ge #bekind #relationships
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Do We Prefer Perfection Over Grace?

Choosing to See Grace More Every Day

by @bethvogt

 

I haven’t had a perfect day in a long time.

To be honest: I haven’t had a perfect day ever.

Every day I get up with my plans for how the day is going to go.

My plans? They’re not all that fantastic. It’s not like I’m shooting for the moon, literally or figuratively – but I am aiming for personal and professional goals and pursuing my writing dream.

And every day, I wake up … and then every single day  interruptions mar my plans for a perfect day.

Yesterday started off with me dragging out of bed after staying up later than I planned the night before – for good reason. I can’t remember what the reason was, but I am almost certain it was a good one.

But hey, even with getting up a bit later than planned, there was still time to win the day and make the plan work.

Except my dog Jo got sick and there was this panic-stricken visit to the vet that totally threw my day off. Jo is fine. And my vet knows how to take care of sick dogs and crying females. He’s the best.

Yesterday most definitely was not the perfect day I’d planned.

Which brings me to a sign I have on my mantle: LIVE BY GRACE, NOT PERFECTION.

I was the one who bought the sign and placed it on the mantle so that I would see it every single day. And I walk past it as if I’m blind.

I operate as if I prefer perfection over grace.

Why do I so easily forget that perfection is not attainable? That those perfect days I’m aiming for are few and far between – if they even exist at all?

And why am I so miserly with grace?

God says he lavishes his grace on us (Ephesians 1:7-8). And yet when it comes to grace, I tend to dispense it as if there’s not enough to last the day. As if there won’t be enough to cover my less than perfect days . . . or my less than perfect life.

Maybe you’re like me . . . pursuing perfect days and overlooking grace.

We need to stop and breathe for a moment. To realize the pursuit of perfection is like running on a treadmill with no off switch. We’re in constant motion, but we’re not making any real progress.

But grace … grace is freely offered. God offers grace to us in a miraculous, life-changing way.

And we can offer grace to ourselves and to one another, bringing a bit of peace and hope to our days.

We need to look more carefully for those grace moments in our imperfect days. Like when your vet offers you compassion when you’re crying on the phone because you think your dog is having a seizure. Or when you’re stuck in a long line at Starbucks and then the person ahead of you pays for your order. Or when that coworker who irritates you so badly you can’t think straight suddenly says something nice.

It’s all grace.

Perfection – I’ve found very little of that.

Grace – I need to look for it more … and I need to offer it more to myself and others.

What about you?

Do We Prefer Perfection Over Grace? http://bit.ly/2PexIkE #perfectionism #choices
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'Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor.' quote by @ANNELAMOTT http://bit.ly/2PexIkE #perfectionism #faith
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PREORDER SALE: Moments We Forget, my upcoming May release, is available for pre-order for only $4.99. Order your e-book copy of book 2 in my Thatcher Sisters Series now. Publishers Weekly said readers will “… will enjoy this realistic story of overcoming adversity and tending to long-ignored familial wounds.” 

LIMITED TIME SALE: Pre-order Moments We Forget by award-winning author @bethvogt for only $4.99. https://buff.ly/2I6nIJE #ebook #womensfiction
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Success is not Who We Are

Know Your Values to Succeed

by @bethvogt

 

Success is serious business to a lot of people – to just about everyone.

People spend a lot of time defining success. Redefining it. Pursuing it. Achieving it.

Set your sights on any sort of goal – academic, athletic, creative – and the question pops up in some form or another: Are you successful? How have you succeeded?

You’re either evaluating your success … or other people are asking you about it.

Here’s the thing: Defining success is like shooting at a moving target. (And yes, some of us are better at that than others.)

Google “define success” and 880 million results show up in less than one second. Impressive, Google. Impressive.

There’s a nice dictionary definition of success: the accomplishment of an aim or purpose. Short and sweet. Can’t argue with that.

And then come the blog posts and articles providing other perspectives on defining success. Consider these titles:

How 9 Incredibly Successful People Define Success (Maya Angelou, Winston Churchill, John Wooden – they carry any weight with you?)
3 Better Ways to Define Success in Your Career (Better than what?)
20 Definitions of Success You Should Never Ignore (Uh-oh! Have I ignored them?)
The only Definition of Success that Matters (Confident writer, yes?)

I’ll admit I’ve read articles like these in the past. Listened to others talk about their definition of success. I’ve even blogged about success – and failure – in the past. You can’t have success without failure – that’s for sure.

Here’s what I’ve discovered along the way:

Success is not who we are. Failure is not who we are, either.

I’ve set my sights on certain goals in my life. I’ve achieved some of them. Failed at others. Here’s the truth: I’m not a success … and I’m not a failure. I’ve celebrated winning awards and grieved over closed doors and unexpected no’s – but where I live and breathe and have my being – is outside of all those events. (Acts 17:28 NIV)

Do I always remember this? No. Sometimes I hang my self-worth on the number of stars attached to my book reviews or whether I final (or win) a writing contest. I have to remember again and again and again who I am is not defined by my wins or losses.

If we remember our values, we can define success for ourselves.

 Writers are told to determine our characters’ values because this determines the kind of choices our characters make, and how they interact with other (imaginary) people. It’s important for each one of us to know what we value too. Only then will we be satisfied when we succeed.

Did you know that you can Google also provides lists of values? I research them when I’m creating heroes and heroines for my novels. Personal values can include:

Compassion
Teamwork
Resilience
Wealth
Peace
Making a difference
Adventure
Loyalty
Family
Diversity

It’s fun to peruse someone’s 20 definitions of success or what someone else has decided is the only definition of success that matters. I mean, why not? But ultimately, we have to define success for ourselves – all the while remembering that neither success or failure defines our self-worth.

Success is not Who We Are http://bit.ly/2uWIgeM #success #perspective
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''Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.' Quote by Maya Angelou http://bit.ly/2uWIgeM #selfworth #success
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PREORDER SALE: Moments We Forget, my upcoming May release, is available for pre-order for only $4.99. Order your e-book copy of book 2 in my Thatcher Sisters Series now. Publishers Weekly said readers will “… will enjoy this realistic story of overcoming adversity and tending to long-ignored familial wounds.” 

LIMITED TIME SALE: Pre-order Moments We Forget by award-winning author @bethvogt for only $4.99. https://buff.ly/2I6nIJE #ebook #womensfiction
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Uprooting Racism from Our Family Tree

Choosing to Love Someone for Who They Are

by @bethvogt

Last October, my son Josh remarried. His wife is a beautiful young woman named Meagan.

I remember months earlier when my husband and I talked with Josh about his relationship with Meagan – about how we knew he was falling in love with her and yes, her three children. We could see they were transitioning from “we’re just friends” to something more serious. Something that, given time, would involve his words, “Will you marry me?” and, most likely, her yes that would change both their futures.

Rob and I sat in my office in our home in Colorado Springs. Josh’s face filled the screen of my computer as we Skyped. We’d talked back and forth about different things, but at last I said,“You know you’ll deal with people’s negative reactions.”

“We already have, Mom.” Josh’s tone was earnest as he sat in his apartment in Seattle. “We were walking together around the city and had someone drive by and yell ugly things at us.”

No specifics needed to be mentioned. We could imagine the things they’d heard.

Hard to believe … but it’s true. And all because Josh is white and Meagan is black.

I’d experienced racism years ago – not directed at me, of course. But I’d had several black friends in high school. When I’d invited one of them to my house, I’d been unsure how my parents, particularly my father, would react. All went well, but the anxiety was there.

Truthfully, back then, I’d been concerned about how my friend would be treated that night – but I hadn’t thought about what he faced day to day.

And now, months later, with two joyous “I do’s,” Meagan’s history is woven into our family tree.

Of course, there is no way I can say I understand all she has experienced in her life. I’ve only caught glimpses, as she’s shared parts of her story with me.

Being given a “white” name by her parents, so she would be accepted more quickly on job applications.
Being told by a high school teacher that she was better off as a slave. Excuse me? And then being told by her parents that she shouldn’t have stood up for herself by challenging the teacher about what was said, as well as going to the principal about it and being removed from the teacher’s class.
Being called a derogatory name that starts with “n” by her abusive first husband, who is white.

And now . . . now I wonder what my three new GRANDkiddos – her children, the trio I welcome with wide open arms – will face as they grow up. What they’ve already faced. I’ve seen my son and daughter-in-love deal with one daughter being bullied in school because of the color of her skin.

This young girl’s story? Most definitely woven into my story now.

I want to understand … because if I can understand Meagan’s story, some of the discrimination she’s dealt with … then I can love her better.

If I can understand what my three new grandchildren have experienced, what they face each day when they walk out their front door … and if I can understand what my unborn granddaughter will have to deal with … then I can love them better.

And I can understand others’ stories better, too. And yes, respond to them with love.

Uprooting Racism from Our Family Tree http://bit.ly/2FPOH9Q #relationships #racism
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'I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.' Quote by Martin Luther King Jr http://bit.ly/2FPOH9Q #racism #hope
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Who Do You Think You Are?

Learning to Value Ourselves More

by @bethvogt

 

I didn’t participate in school sports.

Oh, sure, I played the required PE activities where you wait to get picked for a team, hoping you’re not last. And I remember the games of kickball and dodgeball during recess in elementary school – back when schools allowed kids to play dodgeball. Kicking a “creeker” – a ball that sailed across the ravine that bordered the parking lot – was the sign of a premier kickball player.

Never kicked a “creeker.”

Never played a team sport – unless you consider being a “pom-pom” in high school a team sport. I was on a team, and I learned a routine – sometimes two – each week that involved marching and moving my arms to music during halftime at football and basketball games.

Yeah, not a sport. But I had fun.

Here’s why I didn’t participate in a team sport: I was always afraid I’d let my team down.

Now, I never told anyone that – I never even verbalized that out loud until I had a child who was all about being part of a team.

My daughter, Christa, has played volleyball since fifth grade. She loves playing volleyball — as in she “finds herself” on a volleyball court — and she finds God there, too. Since she was 13, she’s played volleyball year-round: school ball starting in the summer, and then club ball starting when school ball ends and going until early practices started for school volleyball started up. Throw in some summer clinics and workshops . . . you get the idea.

One day a few years ago we were talking and I mentioned how I never played sports in school. Christa was the first one I told, “I was always afraid I’d let my team down.”

Christa, my born to compete daughter, looked at me and said, “I play sports because I always want to help my team.”

That thought had never occurred to me. Not once.

I love it when my kiddos rock my world. When they make me think – and Christa definitely made me think that day.

Here’s the thing about Christa, when she was first selected to play competitive club ball, she was young. Inexperienced. The coach looked at her that day and said, “You have some things to learn, but we like your attitude.”

I can’t help but believe he glimpsed Christa’s heart . . . the heart that wanted to help her team. His choice influenced her life in so many positive ways, not just by helping her become a better volleyball player.

Of course, I can’t go back and redo the past. Can’t earn an athletic letter for a high school jacket. None of us can go back and do the things we wish we’d done know that we’re older and wiser because we’ve learned a few things from our friends – or our kids.

But for me, I can value myself more. I can believe my abilities are an asset to others, not a disadvantage. I can worry less about myself and look for ways to help others.

What about you? Has someone said something to you that helped you see yourself differently? Helped you see one of your life choices differently? What are you doing about it? Maybe start with a thank you … and then make a change.

Who Do You Think You Are? Learning to Value Ourselves More http://bit.ly/2TX3Ajk #perspective #confidence
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'Jump high and hard with intention and heart.' Quote by author Cheryl Strayed http://bit.ly/2TX3Ajk #perspective #sports
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Who’s to Blame for Bullying?

Reality, Forgiveness, and an Apology

by @bethvogt

Bullying is a hot topic these days. It gets talked about in schools and covered in the media. Experts discuss both cause and prevention – admitting that solutions to bullying are not simple.  About 1 in 3 U.S. students experience bullying.

Yeah, that statistic bothers me … but I grieved when my daughter Christa was bullied.

From eighth grade through her sophomore year in high school, Christa dealt with a girl in her school who directly and indirectly harassed her. Rumors were spread. Lies were spoken. Friendships were damaged. My daughter developed anxiety and struggled with her faith because, as she said one night, “How do you trust God when you’re asking Him for help and nothing’s changing?”

Here’s the happy ending first: Christa graduates from high school in ten weeks. Ten weeks. And she is good. The bullying is behind her. During their senior retreat, she sought out the opportunity to pray with the girl who harassed her because she didn’t want the situation hanging over her once she left school. Now they’re friendly with one another.

But achieving this happy ending wasn’t easy – for Christa or for me and my husband.

As parents, we want to protect our children.

And I look back on those three years – three years! – and I think, “How did that situation go on for so long?”

To be honest, I blame the high school administrators for mishandling the situation. But this blog post is not about listing their failures.

Because I also blame myself.

For too long we worked the system, expecting the system to work. We sent emails. Requested meetings. And repeat … repeat … repeat. All the while, we expected the principal and the high school counselor to step up and somehow protect our daughter. To understand what Christa was experiencing.

We expected them to do our job.

We are Christa’s parents. They aren’t.

We finally had enough of red tape and runarounds and said, “This is how we’re going to handle this situation – not according to how you want us to do so that it keeps happening, but how it needs to be handled.” And that’s when the girl stopped harassing Christa.

I’m only sorry – so, so, sorry that I can still cry when I think about it – that we didn’t do it sooner.

Did we stand by Christa every day she dealt with the bullying? Yes. Were we her advocates? Yes. Did we comfort her when she cried and listen to her when she needed to talk it out when her friends chose the other girl over her? Yes. Were there days and weeks and months of prayer by us and our closest friends? Yes

But we could have shaken off the “right way” of doing things and done the right thing by our daughter sooner. Sometimes it’s not about working the system. It’s about fighting for your daughter and telling her to stand up and fight for herself – and telling her that you’ll defend her right to do so.

And just like my daughter, I don’t want this situation hanging over me when she graduates.

I’m sorry, Christa, that we didn’t do more sooner.

I forgive the girl who bullied her.

I forgive the people who didn’t do more to protect her.

It’s time to move on to what’s waiting ahead for Christa … and not be held back by anything in the past.

Only by forgiving both the others involved and myself can we move forward.

Who's to Blame for Bullying? Reality, Forgiveness, and an Apology http://bit.ly/2TPyPg4 #bullying #forgiveness
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'Forgiving does not erase the bitter past .... We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.' Quote by Lewis B. Smedes http://bit.ly/2TPyPg4 #forgiveness #hope
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Christian Fiction Scavenger Hunt Stop #6

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With apologies for this post being delivered to your inboxes twice in one day. There was a glitch in posting. And yes, we are posting a day early to ensure that when the scavenger hunt goes live, all the links on all the posts work smoothly for you!

Welcome to the Christian Fiction Scavenger Hunt! If you’ve just discovered the hunt, be sure to start at Stop #1, and collect the clues through all 27 stops, in order, so you can enter to win one of our top 5 grand prizes!

The hunt BEGINS on 3/14 at noon MST with Stop #1 at LisaTawnBergren.com. (Earlybirds: The hunt begins at noon on Thursday, March 14!)
Hunt through our loop using Chrome or Firefox as your browser (not Explorer).
There is NO RUSH to complete the hunt—you have all weekend (until Sunday, 3/17 at midnight MST)! So take your time, reading the unique posts along the way; our hope is that you discover new authors/new books and learn new things about them.
Submit your entry for the grand prizes by collecting the CLUE on each author’s scavenger hunt post and submitting your answer in the Rafflecopter form at Stop #27. Many authors are offering additional prizes along the way!

 

Author Carla Laureano and I have a fun virtual friendship — despite living only an hour apart — where we talk all-things writing via Instant Message and text. One day we’ll meet up for our postponed-for-years coffee date. Carla writes such true-to-life characters, she’s convinced me that she’s been a professional photographer and a chef. Here’s a summary of her newly published book, Brunch at Bittersweet Cafe:

 

When Denver pastry chef Melody Johansson is given the chance to open a bakery with her best friend, it’s a lifelong dream come true. But that’s before her real-life Prince Charming lands on her doorstep in the form of handsome private pilot Justin Keller. Only problem? He’s committed to a business venture in Florida. Now, achieving one dream means giving up another … proving that in life, as in pastry, the choices can be bittersweet.

 

 

 

 

 

The Only Cookie Recipe You Will Ever Need by Carla Laureano

I’ve loved writing the culinary professionals in my Supper Club series, but I have to admit that so far, the character of Melody Johansson is my favorite. As a pastry chef, she has a touch with all sorts of tricky, elegant desserts, but she loves the recipes of her past that keep her connected with memories of her grandmother.

And what recipe holds more memories than the traditional chocolate chip cookie? I have a number of different personal recipes for different types of chocolate chip cookies—cakelike and fluffy or thin and crispy—but the bakery-style cookie remains my favorite.

Below is my version of a very common recipe that most pastry chefs learn in culinary school. It’s incredibly versatile, so don’t be afraid to play around with different mix-ins and flavorings. It makes a huge batch, so I take advantage of the fact the dough freezes very well and only bake one dozen at a time, saving the rest for a later date.

 

Makes 3 dozen

¼ cup unsalted grass-fed, high-fat butter, such as Kerrygold or Alfresco

¼ cup palm shortening, such as Spectrum

1 cup packed dark brown sugar

½ cup granulated sugar

1 large egg

1 large egg yolk

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

2 ½ cups all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

½ teaspoon fine sea salt

6 ounces semi-sweet chocolate, roughly chopped, or 1 cup chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Allow the butter to sit until slightly warmed from the refrigerator, until it’s about 65 degrees and still firm and cool. Whisk together flour, baking soda, and salt in a small bowl and set aside.

Beat the butter and shortening together in the bowl of a stand mixer until smooth. Add the sugars and beat together until light and fluffy. Add egg, egg yolk, and vanilla extract and beat until thoroughly combined.

Turn off the mixer and add flour mixture. Beat on low speed (2 on a KitchenAid mixer) until the dough just comes together and only a few streaks of flour are visible.  Add the chocolate pieces and stir in on lowest speed, or mix in by hand with a wooden spoon.

Use a #32 cookie scoop (2 tablespoon/1-oz capacity), drop scoops of dough about 2 inches apart on a parchment-lined sheet pan. Bake for 12 to 14 minutes, or until the edges are golden brown and the centers are puffy and nearly set. Cool cookies on the pan for 3-5 minutes before transferring them to a wire rack to cool completely.

Cookies are best eaten within one day, which is fine, because they won’t last that long anyway!

Make-Ahead Tip: Scoop cookie dough onto a small sheet pan, placed close together, and place flat in the freezer until frozen. Then transfer dough to a zip-top freezer bag and freeze at 0 degrees up to 6 months. When you’re ready to bake, place cookie dough spaced two inches apart on a parchment-lined sheet pan and allow to come completely to room temperature. Bake as directed.

Variations

Chocolate-Nut: Add ½ cup chopped toasted walnuts or pecans when you add the chocolate chips.

White Chocolate-Macadamia: Substitute 1 cup white chocolate chips or chopped white chocolate baking bar for the chocolate chunks and add ½ cup macadamia nut halves/pieces.

Almond-Coconut: Add 1 cup chopped flaked coconut, ½ cup chopped toasted almonds, and ½ teaspoon almond extract.

High Altitude (over 5000 ft): Make as directed but reduce baking time to 10 to 12 minutes.

 

Carla Laureano is the RITA Award-winning author of contemporary inspirational romance and Celtic fantasy (as C.E. Laureano). A graduate of Pepperdine University, she worked as a sales and marketing executive for nearly a decade before leaving corporate life behind to write fiction full-time. She currently lives in Denver with her husband and two sons, where she writes during the day and cooks things at night.

 

Here’s the Stop #6 Skinny:

You can order Carla’s book on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, CBD or at your local bookstore! 

My clue for Stop #6 is: hunts 

Link to Stop #7, the Next Stop on the Loop: Carla Laureano’s own site!

 

But wait, before you go! I’m offering a signed copy of Things I Never Told You, book one in the Thacher Sisters Series, to another entrant.  All you have to do is follow me on BookBub. Additional entries if you follow me on Instagram or sign up for my newsletter.

 

 

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The Fallacy of Doing Our Best

Lowering the Bar to Achieve More

by @bethvogt

Success, my friends, isn’t always about giving our best effort.

Sometimes success is doing a little bit less.

Can I get an “amen!”?

Over the years, my family has learned to ask, “What’s the wise choice?” And sometimes the best, wisest choice is to stop trying so hard.

There are times when we stare down the week ahead and think, “I can’t do it all.”

Maybe that’s exactly right: we can’t do it all. We shouldn’t try to do it all. We were never supposed to try to accomplish all that stuff we crammed into every single second of those upcoming days.

Saying yes, yes, yes, to everything doesn’t set us up for success.

No.

We’re setting ourselves up for one spectacular seven-day failure.

After trying yet again to slog through all my myriad of To Do’s and thinking, “I can’t even …” that’s when I stop. Regroup. And remind myself: When at first you don’t succeed, lower the bar.

Didn’t see that coming, did you?

Forget the “try, try, again” mantra we’re all so familiar with. Trying again and again may achieve success.

Maybe.

But trying again and again when we set the bar too high to begin with is a guaranteed formula for exhaustion and frustration.

Am I advocating we become a bunch of quitters? That we walk away from our dreams and our passions? That we ignore our families and our jobs? That we bail on our commitments?

Of course not.

But I am daring to suggest that we put ourselves back into the success equation. That we admit we were never supposed to do it all. That we realize “self-care” is not a buzz word or a bad word. That lowering the bar might allow us to become the person we’ve always wanted to be.

Success can be found by saying both yes and no. Success can happen by both pushing for a goal and choosing to rest.

Too often we make success all about “have to’s” and “more” and “must” and “better” and “best.” Our output today may not be as much as yesterday, but it can still be measured as good because we showed up. We finished . . . and then we took care of ourselves and said, “That is enough for today because there needs to be something of me leftover for tomorrow.”

We are made for both work and rest. To achieve our goals, we need to allow time for both. Today, the bar may need to be set at “rest” for you – and that is a good thing. Victory. Tomorrow may be more about work.

Be successful. Be balanced. Be willing to move the bar higher or lower.

The Fallacy of Doing Our Best: Lowering the Bar to Achieve More http://bit.ly/2HtQ3Zc #success #balance
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'Focus on being balanced. Success is balance.' Quote by @TheRealLailaAli http://bit.ly/2HtQ3Zc #focus #sucess
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