Beth K. Vogt's Blog, page 18

In Others’ Words: Mellow Time

A lot of people seem to like autumn.

I’m basing my statement on a casual, highly non-scientific observation of social media comments. Most of them fall in the category of “I love fall” and “October is my favorite month of the year.”

Maybe you’re familiar with this quote from Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery: “I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.”

Perhaps people like autumn because, as the poet William Allingham suggests, it’s a mellow season. A time of reaping … and then resting. Relishing change, in all it’s vibrancy … instead of resisting it. Transition happens right before our eyes … and we record the moments by taking photographs and sharing them on Instagram. By taking long walks in the woods. By holding a single leaf in our hand, marveling at how we’re touching — embracing — such a tangible, beautiful reminder of change.

Autumn, and the month of October, truly is a most mellow time. We’ve let go of all the fun, fun, fun of summer. And the holidaze isn’t close enough to cause us any angst. Let’s not rush past it.

In Your Words: What’s your favorite season? Why? Would you happen to be like “Anne with an ‘e'” and be glad that there are Octobers? 

In Others' Words: Mellow Time http://bit.ly/2OM4snz #quotes #autumn
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'Autumn's the mellow time.' Quote by William Allingham http://bit.ly/2OM4snz #seasons #perspective
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In Others’ Words: An Adventure in Forgiveness

Sometimes the most profound truths require the least amount of words.

“Life is an adventure in forgiveness.”

Six words. Life-changing truth, wouldn’t you agree?

Forgiveness is an adventure that leads us into the wide open spaces of freedom. Unforgiveness leads us to a dark dead end of anger and resentment and bitterness. 

We have a choice: to forgive or not to forgive. And our decision affects how we live for weeks, months, years to come.

We face the choice between forgiveness and unforgiveness over and over again in our lives. 

I’ve had people tell me so many different things about forgiveness:

that I had to do this
that I had to say these specific words
that forgiveness wasn’t genuine unless [fill in the blank with some stipulation]
that I hadn’t truly forgiven someone because [again, fill in the blank because I didn’t do it their way]

 

Here’s what I’ve learned about forgiveness:

Forgiving someone else can be hard.
Forgiveness can sometimes be a process, not always an overnight success.
When you can’t, God can.

A little explanation on that last point of “When you can’t, God can.”

There was a time when I struggled with forgiving someone in my life. This person hurt me again and again and again. I read books on forgiveness. Read Scriptures on forgiveness. Prayed about forgiveness. One morning, I dropped to my knees beside my bed and said out loud, “I can’t forgive this person, God.”

And God replied, “I know you can’t. But I can. Let me help you.”

And that’s when I realized where my forgiveness ran out, God’s forgiveness met mine and continued on and on and on …

When my ability to forgive wasn’t enough, God stepped in and supplied what I lacked.

 

In Your Words: What’s one thing you’ve learned about forgiveness that’s helped you choose forgiveness over unforgiveness?

In Others' Words: And Adventure in Forgiveness http://bit.ly/2yfSCrE #quote #forgiveness
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'Life is an adventure in forgiveness.' Quote by Norman Cousins #choices #relationships
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In Others’ Words: Listen and Learn

We all have certain morning routines — habits we’ve fallen into. 

Things like:

waking up at a certain time 
eating the same breakfast
drinking coffee or tea
exercising or maybe taking our dogs for a walk
getting out the door and on the road at the same time

What if we started off each day determining to talk less and listen more? How would our lives change? Do you even think, “Hey, I want to learn something new?” at the start of each new day?

I have to confess, I don’t.

But I agree with Larry King: I’m not going to learn anything new if I do all the talking.

So, here’s a challenge for all of us today: How about we talk less and listen more — and see what interesting, fun, unexpected things we learn today. 

In Your Words: What’s something interesting you learned when you let someone else do the talking?

In Others' Words: Listen and Learn http://bit.ly/2y6r1ZD #quotes #perspective
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'I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I'm going to learn, I must do it by listening.' Quote by Larry King http://bit.ly/2y6r1ZD #listen #learn
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In Others’ Words: Choose Your Weapon

Our thoughts are powerful forces for good or evil.

And no, I’m not overstating this truth.

Think about a time when you were juggling some important tasks or facing a major deadline, but still having a good day. And then, for some unknown reason, you found yourself discouraged. Frustrated. Overwhelmed by all you had to do.

You’re not sure how you went from happy to stressed out — you just know it happened.

If you took a moment to step away from the maddening crowd of your emotions and tuned into your thinking — what you’re mentally saying to yourself at that moment … how you’ve been talking to yourself for the past few hours — you’d realize why you were so stressed.

I’d wager the thoughts running rampant in your head were something like:

I’ll never get all of this done.
I’m so stupid for letting all of this work pile up.
People will be so disappointed in me if I don’t come through.
I’m going to blow this just like [insert a time you failed at something].
Everyone’s going to find out I’m a fraud.

 

When the going gets tough, we need to exercise our ability to choose one thought over the other, going on the defensive mentally.  Negative thinking tears us down, undermining our ability to focus on the challenge at hand. Sometimes I take the time to trace my way back to the first thought that tripped me up. Identifying it allows me recognize the trigger and mentally switch it to off. Then I “change the station” and only allow positive thoughts in.

In Your Words: How do you choose which thoughts you’re going to think?

In Others' Words: Choose Your Weapon http://bit.ly/2xFhMA7 #perspective #thoughts
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'The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.' Quote by William James http://bit.ly/2xFhMA7 #stress #choices
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In Others’ Words: Playing as a Team

 

I spend a lot of hours watching volleyball players on the court — most often through my camera lens. It’s a long, heavy lens that I invested in just for shooting indoor sports.

But I digress.

Funny thing about photographing a volleyball team: I focus on the individual players more than I do the team. Where is the setter setting the ball? Who is going to hit it? The right side? The outside? Who on the back row is going to receive the serve and pass it up to the front row?

Want to know something I’ve learned while watching (and photographing) my daughter play volleyball for the past 8 years? Every girl on the team can be great athletes. Strong. Talented. But if they don’t come together emotionally and mentally as a team, they are going nowhere when it comes to competition. Why? Because they are playing like individuals, not as a unit. They may all be on the court together, but there’s no real connection beyond wearing the same style jerseys.

One sign of a strong team? A group that celebrates each other. Yes, a team hangs together when it’s battling an opponent, fighting to win. But playing as a team also means supporting each other and cheering on a teammate’s success, as well as celebrating the team’s victories — out loud and proud.

Here’s a tip: If you’re watching volleyball — or any other sport for that matter — don’t stop watching when a team scores. Focus in and wait for the celebrating. Then you know you’re watching more than good players — you’re watching a team.

In Your Words: What’s your experience with teams? Did a coach influence you in anyway — helping you see the difference between good players and a team?

In Others' Words: Playing as a Team http://bit.ly/2xQS6QG #quotes #sports
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'Finding good players is easy. Getting them to play as a team is another story.' Quote by Casey Stengel. http://bit.ly/2xQS6QG #team #athletes
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In Others’ Words: Words of Regret

A few weeks ago, I blew it with a family member.

I got upset about something and then I let my anger fuel my words.

And yes, I regret what I said to that person. But even more, I regret how I spoke to that person.

All this year, I’ve said over and over again that I don’t want to be an angry person. And, in those few moments, I ignored that determination and went with my emotion. Even more, I ignored how much I value my relationship with that person — how much I value that person — and just acted and spoke out of anger.

I’m thankful to say our relationship survived. We talked things out. I asked forgiveness and it was granted. The only way get past a verbal misstep is to own up to it, apologize, and then allow time to smooth out any rough edges that remain.

In Your Words: How do you avoid speaking words you’ll regret?

In Others' Words: Words of Regret http://bit.ly/2PSqTo0 #quotes #relationships
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'Speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret.' Quote by Laurence J. Peter http://bit.ly/2PSqTo0 #anger #regret
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In Others’ Words: Fail Forward

I like it when successful people talk about their failures.

Take, for example, when another writer shares how many times their manuscript was rejected before they landed a contract. (The Help by Kathryn Stockett was rejected 60 times.)
Or when a pro athlete shares his struggles. (6’7″ NBA pro Paul Pierce was cut from the varsity team in high school because he was a pudgy 5’8″.)
What about director Steven Spielberg of Star Wars fame? He was rejected twice by the University of Southern California’s School of Cinematic Arts.
Walt Disney, the founder of “the happiest place on earth,” was once told he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.”
And Albert Einstein struggled in university and almost dropped out. Imagine that — Einstein, who developed the theory of relativity, almost dropped out of school. 

Sometimes we look at someone else and all we see is their success. But behind every successful person is failure.

We like to forget that, but the truth is, we fail forward to success — if we choose to keep learning from our missteps, our mistakes, or missed opportunities.

I’ll  close today with another quote, courtesy of Thomas Edison when he was talking about inventing the light bulb:

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

In Your Words: How have you “failed forward”? 

In Others' Words: Fail Forward http://bit.ly/2xmwjkd #quotes #success
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'One fails forward toward success.' http://bit.ly/2xmwjkd Quote by Charles Kettering #failure #success
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In Others’ Words: Life Happens

There are certain things I wish I’d learned sooner in life. 

This is one of them: “What happens is not as important as how you react to what happens.” 

Circumstances, both bad and good, come and go.

But how I respond in a given situation? That can have a lasting effect on me and on others that lingers for years to come. 

My friend and trusted counsellor Wise Guy  taught me to evaluate the hard times in my life with this question: Is this a defining moment in my life or just a moment in my life? I’ve learned to be careful, very careful, about what moments in my life I allow to define me.

If I overreact to something someone says or does — or even to something I said or did — I’m giving that moment in my life too much power. That time, those circumstances, begin to control my thoughts and my emotions.

What happens in my life is important, yes. But how I respond to the events in my life, both the good times and the disappointments, the frustrations, and the times when I am satisfied, are the more important concern. My reactions reveal my heart. It’s not about perfection. It’s about choosing to be true to myself in my words and my actions.

In Your Words: Which is more important — what happens to you or how your react to what happens to you? Why or why not? How do you ensure that your words and actions reflect your true self? 

In Others' Words: Life Happens http://bit.ly/2x5naMC #quotes #perspective
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'What happens is not as important as how you react to what happens.' Quote by Ellen Glasgow http://bit.ly/2x5naMC #circumstances #react
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In Others’ Words: Focusing on Your Goal

When you look ahead, what do you see?

Do you see your goal? Where you’re headed, what you want to accomplish, the finish line … You may not be able to say, “The end is near” but can you close your eyes and see whatever it is you’re working for in your mind?

Or, when you look ahead, do you see nothing but trouble? Have all the things that could go wrong, all the naysayers’ negativity and doubts, become obstacles that have slowed your step or, even worse, caused you to stop moving forward?

Sometimes we can lose sight of our goal — whatever it is we want, wherever it is we’re going — because the obstacles loom larger. Closer. We stop believing in who we are and in what we can accomplish. All we see are the can’ts and the don’ts and the shouldn’ts. Our lack of expertise. Our lack of time.

By keeping our eye on the goal, we remember why we started. All the reasons we should stop fade away when our focus is on why we’re headed toward our goal.

In Your Words: How do you focus on your goals and not the obstacles that always appear in front of you when you’re trying to accomplish something?

In Others' Words: Focusing on Your Goal http://bit.ly/2x39Atv #quotes #goals
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'Obstacles are things a person sees when he takes his eyes off his goal.' Quote by E. Joseph Cossman #obstacles #goals
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In Others’ Words: Cheap Medicine

In 2007, I was hit with a serious illness that took me down for four months. To be frank, it was a year before I looked in the mirror and recognized myself again. And I still live with the repercussions of that life-threatening illness.

During my recovery time, friends loaned my husband a DVD and said, “We thought Beth might enjoy watching this.” It was a DVD by comedian Brian Regan titled “I Walked on the Moon.” 

As we watched video, I laughed for the first time in months. Laughed out loud. And it was a wonderful, life-giving moment. 

Some would say that laugh was cheap medicine. I would say that moment of laughter was priceless. Realizing that I could laugh while still needing to recover gave me much-needed hope.

I’m now a huge Brian Regan fan, so much so that my husband and youngest daughter went to see him perform in Denver last summer. Yes, we laughed. But I was also taken back to that first moment Brian Regan’s comedy gave me hope with his humorous form of medicine.

And we don’t have to wait until we’re sick to take a dose of laughter. No, it’s a great preventative, too. An apple a day keeps the doctor away? What about laughter helping us stay healthy mentally, physically, and emotionally?

I say yes.

In Your Words: When has laughter been good medicine for you? 

In Others' Words: Cheap Medicinehttp://bit.ly/2MToI6m #quotes #health
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'Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.' Quote by Lord Byron http://bit.ly/2MToI6m #laughter #perspective
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