Garret Kramer's Blog, page 9

Unanswered Questions

Here’s an interesting dialogue that reveals the power of universal wisdom, and the mind’s innate ability to clear and tap into it, versus the unhelpful nature of digging into what’s personal.

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Last week, my colleague, Grayson Hart, asked me the following question: “Why does one particular old conditioned thought (about so and so) often repeat itself inside my head?

I answered, “Well, bud, I could give you my personal opinion to your personal question, but since that would likely turn this conversation into a futile cognitive therapy session, I’d rather not.”

Grayson then laughed and said, “Perfect, G, suddenly I don’t need the answer anymore; I’m good.”

And there you have it. Since only what’s universally true has the power to help a fellow human being, if you’re a coach, parent, teacher, advisor, or friend, it’s never preferable to:

A.  Answer the most personal of questions.

B.  Offer your own personal opinions masked as truth.

Remember: Insight, realization, or love cannot spring from analysis or scrutiny. If you’re asked a personal question, you might be tempted to answer, but it’s not a requirement. In fact, when you don’t get personal, it’s a pretty sure bet that answers will effortlessly appear.

Thank you for reading,

Garret

Knowing Is Always Enough

This week, a brief reminder:

When, week after week, I suggest that experience is created from the inside-out, I’m not suggesting that you have the ability to deliberately create, change, or even embrace your experience. I’m also not suggesting that you’re in control of, or have the power to control, your experience or the thinking and state of mind that spawns it.

No.

Your power is never in trying to control, cope, let go, stay present, embrace, or in any action step or behavior. Your power rests solely in the KNOWING. Knowing that experience is created from within, and that nothing external can cause you to feel a certain way, is the one glimpse of truth that activates resilience. And excellence. And perseverance. And presence. And love.

Now, many so-called “high achievers,” or experts, will take this knowing and then strategize around it. They’ll offer their personal take on truth; their opinion of how it played out for them. They’ll propose how-to methods, theories, tools, and techniques. You’ll probably be tempted. You might say, “If these behaviors worked for him, I bet they’ll work for me.”

Not so fast. They won’t work for you, and the high achiever only thinks they worked for him. Behavior’s merely an effect of knowing; behavior’s never a cause.

It’s a fait accompli: At times, it will feel otherwise, but KNOWING is always enough. All productive actions effortlessly, and instinctively, flow from there.

Thank you for reading,

Garret

Retweets, Likes, Followers—and Sharing the Inside-Out Truth

If, like me, you’re committed to sharing the inside-out Truth with a doubting world, here’s a post that will hopefully spark some perspective—and maybe a bit of fortitude as well.

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Back when I wrote Stillpower, my second publisher (Simon and Schuster) hired a PR team responsible for my social media following. As a result, the retweets, likes, and number of followers skyrocketed. Over the years since, however, the opposite has occurred. But not to worry, I’ve come to realize that this is actually a very, very good sign.

You see, as my work deepens—becomes more aligned with the Truth that the world’s greatest teachers have pointed to forever, and less aligned with behavioral strategies, how-to coping techniques, motivational mantras, or my own opinions—those looking for circumstantial excuses for their moods, blueprints to success, or tips on finding well-being are abruptly tuning me out. Yet, on the other hand, my clients, students, and family are thriving like never before.

Plus, as the masses keep falling away, my work is now attracting the type of followers (people) who are not only capable of sharing the inside-out message themselves, but of helping me improve on the manner in which I share it. We’re talking about preachers, clerics, rabbis, believers, coaches, broadcasters, business leaders, athletes, and mental-health professionals. Including some who say, “At first, I wanted to strangle you, Garret, but I’m now beginning to see . . .” And the result? The dissemination of the inside-out paradigm continues to benefit dramatically.

The message here is simple: Even in today’s internet age, numbers tend to produce diminishing returns. It’s consciousness, not quantity, that holds the key to spreading Truth (or the indelible fact that one’s feeling state cannot be caused or cured by anything from the world of form). The most significant figure in the history of this teaching, for example, had only twelve followers (sort of); while the masses took his inside-out offerings and example personally, revolted, and you know the rest.

So, what about you? If in your shares, social media posts, books, or teachings you refuse to pander and truly rebuff the outside-in lie, the uninformed will attack. They’ll sarcastically ridicule and reject every word you say. They’ll malign you personally and come after your good name. Are you ready? Can you stand resolute and weather the storm?

If you know where your feelings are coming from, the answer is yes.

Thanks for reading,

Garret

The Confidence Trap

While watching Golf Channel’s coverage of the Scottish Open during my hour in the gym on Friday morning, I heard the word CONFIDENCE mentioned thirty-four times by commentators (that’s right, after hearing it repeatedly when I first tuned in, I actually decided to count). Over and over again, the importance of feeling confident was stressed:

“It’s amazing what holing a few putts will do for your confidence.”

“This kind of course ignites his confidence.”

“What does your recent string of good finishes do for your confidence?”

My goodness. Since, from where I sit, chasing confidence is the ultimate mind trap, let’s reverse course. Believe it or not, confidence has NOTHING to do with past performance, environment, or any external circumstance. Confidence, or a lack thereof, springs from the uncontrollable principle of thought. When thought freely flows through you, you’ll feel confident. When thought becomes jammed, you won’t. And, again, this cause-and-effect connection between thought and confidence cannot be influenced by holing putts, a particular kind of golf course, a string of good finishes, or anything external.

Now, I’m plenty aware that many readers will disagree with this inside-out take on confidence. So, if that includes you, here are two questions to ponder:

Why do the most accomplished people often feel insecure?
Why do young children often feel confident?

See what I mean? Confidence is strictly an inner phenomenon. And, like young children, the closer you get to the inner knowledge that confidence comes and goes as thought comes and goes, the less and less your level of confidence will even matter to you.

Last of all, as mentioned above, you don’t control your thinking or whether or not you feel confident in the moment. But that’s not bad news because: Confidence has NOTHING to do with your capacity to excel. In other words, all feelings are normal and no feeling is limiting. Therefore, don’t fall into the trap of chasing, or wasting energy trying to manage, something that’s essentially meaningless. Confident or not, you are strong, whole, resilient, and oh so capable—always.

Garret

One Size Fits All

Here’s a brief article to make an important distinction that will help you better understand, and serve, others: Although many will say the opposite, when it comes to the human mind and body—one size, in fact, does fit all.

Oh, I know it doesn’t look that way. It appears, for example, that no two golfers swing the club the same way, just like it appears that one person’s psychological issues are different from another’s. But what we’re actually seeing are effects, byproducts, or symptoms of the same inner phenomenon playing out differently for each of us. In other words, kinetically our bodies all work the same, and spiritually our minds all work the same. We just seem separate because, outwardly, no two people share the identical physical characteristics or life circumstances.

So why is this distinction important to consider? Well, if you’re a helper (and we all are) and you address personal symptoms—i.e., part of a golfer’s swing that seems out of whack, or a suffering person’s past that seems troubling—you’re not addressing the root. For golfers, the root is how, universally, the human body moves and generates power. When the swing goes astray, golfers simply lose touch with the fundamental principles of movement. For all of us when we suffer, the root is that we’re seeking answers (causes of and cures for our feelings) outside—such as in the past. A suffering person has simply lost touch with the fundamental principle that feelings can only be fashioned internally.

Yes, one size does fit all. The human body moves one way. The human mind works one way. Don’t be blinded by, or cater to, the physical facade of separateness and try to help others by digging into what’s personal. Rather, resolutely point inward to what’s true across the board for everyone—to “oneness.” Salvation is found there.

Twelve Inside-Out Myths for You to Consider

As you guys know, on this blog practically every week, I write about the Inside-Out understanding or paradigm. As a change of pace this week, let’s dispel a few common myths (as I see them) that hover around this understanding. Sound okay? Hold on to your hat—here goes:

Myth #1: You’re feelings aren’t caused by your circumstances; they’re caused by your thoughts about your circumstances.

Not so. Feelings are the residue or aftereffect of the universal principle of THOUGHT (divine energy). Not what you think about—that’s personal and occurs after you have a feeling. In other words, thought, then feeling occurs. The intellect then looks outside in a quest to decipher the feeling and makes it about something. Although it never really is.

Myth #2: Your thoughts can’t hurt you unless you give them power.

Not so. The thoughts that pop into your head (what you think or the content of your thinking) have no power. Plus, you don’t possess the ability give them power. Power? That’s found in the principle of thought.

Myth #3: You mustn’t make important decisions while in a low mood (aka, let your low moods pass).

Not so. All moods are normal and no mood controls you. Meaning, a mood can’t obstruct or enhance your ability to love, serve, care, excel, or make prudent decisions. This too shall pass? Nah, nothing needs to pass. You’re fine no matter what you are feeling.

Myth #4: It’s helpful to be aware of your state of mind.

Not so. Awareness is an effect, not a cause. Want awareness? Understand that even though it won’t often feel this way, both your circumstances and state of mind are neutral. Therefore, they don’t need to be worked on, stood on guard for, or deliberately adjusted.

Myth #5: Your mindset is a performance variable.

Not so. While it’s true that your mindset (mood, feeling state, state of mind) is innately variable, it is not a performance variable. Your capacity to perform is an unwavering constant.

Myth #6: You don’t control the thoughts that occur to you, but you do control which thoughts you follow.

Not so. You don’t control the thoughts that occur to you, spot on. Yet, you will follow, or not follow, your thoughts to the extent that you understand that they are meaningless or untrue. And, while we’re on the subject, this understanding is also something that’s not in your control.

Myth #7: Sharing personal stories about the life situations you overcame as a result of the IO paradigm is helpful to others.

Not so. Sharing your own story regarding how you stumbled into this work is often helpful to others because everyone stumbles into this work and is impacted by it. However, HOW you were impacted is personal and better left alone. As John Steinbeck once said: “A great and interesting story is about everyone, or it will not last.”

Myth #8: Your grounding is different than my grounding.

Not so. Every person alive is grounded in Truth, God, or Love. No one understands the IO paradigm better than anyone else. The fact that experience is created from inside to out rests in all of us equally.

Myth #9: Your feelings don’t come from other people or anything external; they come from you.

Not so. You (like other people, places, events, and things) are on the outside. The variable nature of your feelings comes from the divine principle of thought. Who or what controls this divine principle? You guessed it: the intelligence of the universe or God. That’s the inside.

Myth #10: Free will and God’s will are separate.

Not so. Free will means that your will is free from the contamination of others. It’s not about choice or a practice you apply. Know that God is running the show and your will is truly free.

Myth #11: The Inside-Out understanding represents a community.

Not so. The IO understanding is purely a MOVEMENT. Sure, communities are wonderful. They’re generally happy places where people gather for camaraderie and fun. But that’s not this. What we have here is a paradigm—a truth—that can, will, and has saved lives. Remember: Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., and Sydney Banks didn’t lead communities where folks came to socialize. They spearheaded movements. They kept the main thing (the purpose behind their movements) the main thing and hence changed the world.

Myth #12: Love is the answer.

This last myth, for me, is a tough one (that’s why I didn’t follow it with “not so”), and here’s what I mean: On a personal basis, it often looks to me that love is the cause of everything good in the world. However, when pointing others to the IO paradigm, it’s simply not helpful to focus too much on love and other “touchy-feely-type” sentiments (e.g., compassion, happiness, acceptance, gratitude, or forgiveness). These sentiments are delightful and important, but, in truth, they’re compounds or effects that shouldn’t be offered up as causes or places to get or feeling states to achieve. Rather, stick to this fundamental question: Do you know where your feelings are coming from? As you and others begin to see that feelings are generated internally, and happen independent of people, places, and things made of matter—you can rest assured that love will effortlessly emerge.

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There’s the list. I welcome any and all questions. In fact, I can’t wait to hear from you!

Love,

Garret

An Innocent Trick of the Mind

How often do you fall for this innocent trick of the mind: You attribute what you’re feeling on the inside to what just happened in your life on the outside?

We all do it. In fact, this process happens so fast that, almost always, we overlook that feelings actually come FIRST—and then we pin them on a particular life event, person, or circumstance.

Consider, for example, the gloom that tends to coexist with rainy days. Sure, it appears that rainy days cause gloomy feelings. But take a closer look. Do you always feel gloomy when it rains? Of course, you don’t. Meaning, the weather doesn’t cause gloomy feelings. Your feeling state (inside) precedes the world that you see (outside).

You might now be wondering: “Okay, that makes sense; but since the world outside doesn’t cause my feelings, what does? Feelings, like gloom, just don’t crop up on their own.”

Indeed, they don’t.

What causes feelings is THOUGHT (an ever-present divine energy). Thought is responsible for your feeling state, and from there—based on the form thought takes in the moment—the world looks gloomy or bright; negative or hopeful; intimidating or friendly.

Lastly, as the title of this article suggests, when it comes to your thinking, feelings, and perceptions, you are always completely innocent. No one controls this trick of the mind. Therefore, it’s not wrong for it to appear that what happens on the outside determines what you feel on the inside. It’s not even wrong to blame your feelings on life events, people, or circumstances. However, your ace in the hole, your salvation, is knowing that no matter how much it looks like you work from out to in—you never, ever, do.

Reality is strictly a one-way process. Thought generates feeling, causing your view on life. You’re innately resilient because a trick of the mind is only problematic if you accept it as real.

Garret

Winning the U.S. Open in the Battlefield of the Mind—How Far We’ve Come

On June 8, 1986, Bob Rotella, a pioneer in the field of sport psychology, wrote an insightful New York Times article titled: “Winning the U.S. Open in the Battlefield of the Mind.” Although I was quite young when I read it, the article captivated me (the original clipping still remains in a scrapbook that resides in my attic). In fact, looking back, this very piece of writing helped spark my life-long interest in the human mind and spirit, not to mention the great game of golf.

Last week, for some reason, I decided to reread the article after all these years. And what I discovered is how dramatically the field of mental performance has evolved since 1986. So, to illustrate this evolution, I’ve listed below nine takeaways from the article, and then discussed where the field, in my opinion, is at today. What you’ll find is that back in 1986, mental performance had yet to be introduced to the unwavering principle that golfers (and all human beings) work strictly from inside to out. Those in the field had yet to consider that states of mind are innately variable, have nothing to do with environment, and regardless of a player’s state of mind and how life looks to him at that moment in time, he is 100 percent whole and capable.

Here, then, are those nine takeaways, compared to how I see things currently. Hopefully, you’ll find my stance on the evolution of mental performance helpful. If you don’t quite grasp where I’m pointing, feel free to reach out. I’d be happy to bring you up to speed.

To win the U.S. Open, a player must confront and overcome psychological and emotional battles.

Now: To win the U.S. Open, a player must understand that psychological, or inner, battles need not turn into emotional, or outer, battles. Players who grasp that the variable nature (or ebb and flow) of feelings is normal don’t waste energy trying to confront or overcome something that isn’t broken and they don’t control.

To win the U.S. Open, a player must develop psychological skills.

Now: To win the U.S. Open, a player must understand that he is innately resilient. The more a player works on the mental game, or tries to perfect in-born skills that cannot be improved upon, the more he shrouds his innate ability to self-correct. Every player owns a psychological immune system. Because the psychological immune system doesn’t need help to function, it’s always best to stay out of its way.

To win the U.S. Open, a player must overpower his fears.

Now: To win the U.S. Open, a player must understand that fear and faith come and go within him. And that is and always will be the human experience. As alluded to earlier, whether he’s feeling fear or faith, a player’s ability to excel doesn’t waiver. In fact, the only way to obstruct the flow from fear to faith is to try to overpower fear. That holds fear in place.

To win the U.S Open, a player must control self-defeating emotions like anger.

Now: To win the U.S. Open a player must understand that a feeling, anger included, cannot be abnormal. Anger can only become self-defeating if a player looks outside for circumstantial causes and strategic cures in a quest to fix it.

To win the U.S. Open, a player must fight off the desire to complain and not allow the course conditions to get in his head.

Now: To win the U.S. Open, a player must understand that complaining is merely a coping strategy. And coping (managing one’s thinking or fighting one’s experience) is never in a player’s best interest. Besides, it’s not a matter of not allowing course conditions to get in a player’s head. It’s a matter of knowing that they can’t.

To win the U.S. Open, a player must think positively on every shot.

Now: To win the U.S. Open, a player must understand that the content of thought, positive or negative, has no bearing on his ability to hit a desired shot. Actually, trying to think positive requires a ton of personal thought and effort. This jams the ebb and flow of the mind—which clearly is not helpful.

To win the U.S. Open, a player must be unwilling to play a shot until the mind is where it must be.

Now: To win the U.S. Open, a player must understand that the mind doesn’t need to be anywhere. It will be where it will be, and, try as he might, a player cannot deliberately improve his mindset. Rather, he must hit shots regardless of mindset. If a player does not try to fix or cope, he is sure to bring out, and not shroud, his best.

To win the U.S. Open, a player must have confidence in himself and his game.

Now: To win the U.S. Open, a player must understand that while confidence, like all feelings, ebbs and flows, he’s good to go (fully capable) regardless. Chase confidence and a player’s sure to go on a mind-bending wild-goose chase with no end in sight.

To win the U.S. Open, a player (in contention) must not become scared by the possibility that it might get away

Now: To win the U.S. Open, a player must understand that win or lose he’ll be perfectly fine. In truth, there’s nothing in life that can get away. Thankfully, there’s a greater plan a work; a plan that human beings, even great golfers, simply don’t control.

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There’s the list. We’ve come a long way from a paradigm of doing, thinking, fixing, and controlling—to one of understanding what the human experience really is and that all feelings are normal.

In other words, to win the U.S. Open in the battlefield of the mind, what a player needs to know is that the inner battle need not be conquered at all.

Enjoy the tournament,

Garret

 

About Stress

In this short piece, let’s consider a few things that you may have overlooked regarding stress. Cool? Okay, here goes:

Do you ever feel stressed? Right. You do. I do. Everyone does. But how about these questions:

Do you know that stress has nothing to do with the circumstances of your life?
Do you know that stress can’t be strategically fixed?
Do you know that stress is a normal byproduct of innate resilience, a sign that your psychological immune system is working perfectly?

Take the label of posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The approach of most mental-health professionals is to actually take the suffering person back to the moment in time, the circumstance, which initially “caused” the stress. No wonder PTSD is running rampant. Yes, stress FEELS traumatic. But, again, feelings aren’t caused by circumstance (when faced with the same circumstance, some get stressed and some don’t), and feelings can’t be strategically fixed.

What, then, is the answer to stress—or prolonged periods of it?

Merely understand that stress is meant to come and go within you. And this coming and going happens independent of circumstance. In fact, all feelings have a profound or spiritual purpose. In the case of stress, it’s to remind you that you’re not seeing life clearly; to prevent you from behaving in an unproductive, disingenuous, or untruthful manner.

Keep in mind: The ONLY way to hold stress in place, or become debilitated by stress, is to search for circumstantial (or outer) causes and then strategic (or outer) cures. Rather, see stress as an inner thing, or the normal and beneficial feeling that it truly is, and, rest assured, getting stressed about stress becomes pretty much impossible.

Thanks for reading,

Garret

Prove It

At least once a day, a critic or skeptic will reach out to me and holler something along these lines:

“Prove it, Garret.”

“Where’s the data affirming that mental practices or coping strategies don’t cause feeling states to improve?” Do 100 percent of people who implement a mental practice or strategy feel better?
“Where’s the research backing your assertion that circumstances, like the past, don’t cause human beings to feel a certain way?” Do those with a troubled past always feel troubled?
“Where’s the evidence that the mind is built to self-correct?” Do small children tend to snap out of funks without effort?
“Where’s the proof that states of mind don’t matter when it comes to performance?” Do people ever perform well while in a bad mood?

And at least once a day, my reply will be: “The brief answers above are all I’ve got. I don’t have any hard-and-fast evidence or statistics. Nor will I sanction, take part in, or rely on any study that attempts to prove these questions.”

Why is this my standard reply?

The mind is formless; it can’t be measured. So, while I can resolutely point to the spiritual ebb and flow of the human experience—how, out of our control, energy comes and goes and that’s the only thing that we’re capable of feeling—I can’t prove it because no one can prove what’s spiritual, formless, or beyond the description of words.

Here’s what I do know, however: Since forever, human beings have sought data to prove or justify what they know, deep down, is untrue. As for what is true: You FEEL it; you don’t prove it (the fact that all human beings are created equal doesn’t need to be researched). When Truth hits you square between the eyes, you just know. Hopefully, that’s good enough for you. If not, that’s okay, too.

Garret