Garret Kramer's Blog, page 6

The Solution

The solution is simple. Yet, due to centuries of programming, it’s so far away.

The solution is effortless. Yet, because of trying so hard to find it, it’s so far away.

The solution is different; might seem strange, weird, or “out there.” Yet, since it takes courage to break away from the pack and go where intuition actually points, it’s so far away.

What, then, is the solution to acrimony, confusion, blame, abuse, discrimination, terror, war, and all the problems that seem to drive us apart? What’s the single solution that has a chance to save, not just the wholeness of your team, organization, family, community, or school, but the future of humanity as we know it?

No, it’s not a new motivational strategy, culture, guideline, technique, way of thinking, program, amendment, method, or practice. No, it’s not a personal opinion or belief. But rather:

The MATERIALISTIC paradigm (materialism) must die.

That’s the solution, the only solution. And here’s what I mean:

The time is now for us to start reverse engineering the misunderstanding that objects (things, environments, even people) are actual entities made of stuff called matter that can exist independent of experience, imagination, or the senses. Until we do, the false premise that objects can make us feel something will reign supreme. Right now, we’re at each other’s throats in a mad dash to acquire, build, or divest of objects in an impossible quest to feel secure.

Oh, I know. Many are speaking out and discouraging this type of wayward behavior. Some are trying to teach us to manage it. Others are suggesting that objects can’t cause feelings since our feelings are only linked to thought. But, as we’re living through right now, these approaches can’t work when human beings are consumed by the cultural misunderstanding that objects are valuable, meaningful, or real in the first place.

Consider this pertinent question: Has anyone in the history of human beings ever experienced an object outside of himself or herself? I promise, the answer is no. An object cannot exist without a subject. There is no separation. That’s why an object has no power. That’s also why we can’t hurt, defeat, or ignore the plight of others in order to fix our own feelings. We’re only hurting—and thus feeling more insecure, unloved, and enraged—ourselves.

It’s a universal law or principle. Humanity cannot, and will not, survive under the pretense of the materialistic or objective paradigm. And, as we continue to place our attention on the importance of objects that don’t exist in their own right, we’re getting closer and closer to that solemn outcome each day.

The solution? The realization that nothing or nobody is dual, separate, or independent, but actually ONE.

Thank you for reading,

Garret

Asking the Universe

Have you ever noticed that personal desires aren’t fulfilled?

Seriously. Have you ever asked the universe, or prayed, for something to occur for your own benefit? A personal goal to be reached, a personal want to be satisfied, a personal problem to be solved? Didn’t work out so well—I know.

Trouble is, we often take this lack of response as proof that prayers can’t be answered, or that universal consciousness or God doesn’t exist. But maybe, just maybe, there’s something else at work. Perhaps the universe is actually waiting on a different line of questioning from us. What if the reason that personal desires can’t be fulfilled is they can’t be recognized by the one we’re asking. After all, God is one being. God isn’t separate from us. God doesn’t see in the personal. This means that God cannot answer a personal request.

On the contrary, have you ever asked God to fulfill a completely impersonal desire? Now that’s a different ballgame altogether; the ONE who’s asking—the true Self—is identical to the ONE who’s asked. That’s why impersonal prayers, ultimately, will always be answered.

Need a friend, partner, or colleague with whom to spread peace, love, and understanding? Ask.

Need energy, funds, or resources to help feed hungry children? Ask.

Need direction on how you can share the source of insight and resilience and thus provide relief and hope to the world? Ask.

Want peace of mind so you can become successful, rich, or famous? No go. If your request has anything to do with the separate or personal self, better to save your breath.

Inward and up,

Garret

What the “Mental Game” Requires

Here’s what the mental game doesn’t require:

A.  Personal responsibility

B.  Effort

C.  Searching

D.  Memorize

E.  Practice

F.  Repetition

G.  Strategy

H.  Mindfulness

I.   Coping

Here’s what the mental game does require:

A.  Nothing

Fact is, the only way to reinforce the plethora of so-called psychological issues that give rise to the need for mental coaching or counseling in the first place is to foucus on A through I above.

In other words, doing anything for the purpose of finding peace of mind is the surest route to obstructing it. Why? Because the human experience is meant to flow from insecurity/unrest to confidence/tranquility and round again. Trying to fix what can’t be broken—one’s psychological functioning—is an impossible and debilitating quest.

This past weekend, for example, a player who had fallen under the spell of the above misunderstanding visited my New Jersey office. He’d employed several sports psychologists during his career and read scores of books on the subject. Thus, he was convinced that he needed to spend as much time on the mental side of the game as the physical side; he was sure that the more learned mental tools he had at his disposal, the better. Plus, even though he felt more and more insecure as he tried and tried to perfect his mental game, he was certain that this was just part of the resilience-building process, so he kept trying, to the point of exhaustion.

Goodness gracious.

My role, on the contrary, was simply to remind him that he was fighting, or working against, the normal flow of the human experience. And as a result, he was not only holding the feeling of insecurity in place, he was stonewalling insight and the inner wisdom (answers/growth) it naturally brings. I explained that all feelings are normal. That all experience is transient. That resilience is innate. Most important, I reminded him that his propensity to love, serve, care, excel, and remain utterly whole is unwavering.

Remember: Insecurity/unrest perpetuates itself by trying to get rid of itself. Insight, however, is effortless. That’s the reason the mental game requires nothing or no doing whatsoever. But you knew that already, I promise.

Inward and up,

Garret

Where Leaders Go Wrong

As everyone can relate, the human experience vacillates between looking inside and looking outside; between harmony and discord; between clarity and clutter; between positivity and judgment; between confidence and insecurity; between yin and yang. And, as we’ve discussed the last few weeks, this vacillation can also be described as moving from the true Self (the realization of ONE shared being) to the separate self (the transient experience of being a personal entity or ego), then back again and again.

This week, I’m going to stay on topic and appeal to coaches, teachers, counselors, psychologists, parents, employers, preachers, friends, and politicians—the charismatic leaders among you. For you leaders, I’m going to reveal just how essential it is to understand that this vacillation between true Self and separate self is both normal and can never be manually overridden.

Let’s start with the separate self or ego. By definition, it:

A. Feels separate or alone.

B. Feels the need to fix this sense of separation.

That is, the separate self constantly feels the need to ease its sense of separateness in a quest to feel secure. So, when it comes to leaders, the separate self wants to offer strategies, techniques, orders, rules, punishment, personal opinions, and even indoctrinate others as it tries to scratch and claw its way back to the wholeness of the true Self. But this cannot work, and only fortifies the separate self, since, again, the true Self cannot be found manually or on purpose.

And that is where leaders often go wrong.

Because they don’t understand that the vacillation described above is normal (don’t understand the human experience), they fall for the temptation to fix what’s not broken—to the extreme detriment of those under their purview or care. In fact, every dictator in the history of human beings has succumbed to the lure of the separate self or ego. They’ve desperately tried to fix others in order to fix, or feel secure, themselves.

On the other hand, here’s what happens when leaders understand the transient nature of the human experience and, thus, don’t succumb to the lure of the separate self or ego when it appears:

A. The true Self fluently takes its place.

B. From the perspective of the true Self (one being), no personal entities exist who could be offered strategies, techniques, orders, rules, punishment, or personal opinions; there’s no one TO indoctrinate.

And what remains? Simply LOVE. And love, without effort, knows exactly how to lead.

Thank you for reading,

Garret

An Upcoming Special Event

Friends,

Here’s a rare Friday post to ask a question: Would you like to pick the brains of three people who have a ton of experience teaching the inside-out understanding?

I’ve been working on something very special with my dear friends and colleagues, Michael Neill and Jamie Smart. Each of us is an author, international speaker, and performance coach. We’ve each managed to have a big impact sharing an understanding of the inside-out nature of life with others. Now we’re looking for a select group of people to join us as we take this understanding deeper.

Here’s how you’ll know if you’re a good fit for what we have in mind (and vice-versa):

– You want to perform at a high level

– You want to make a positive difference in the world

– You want to turn your dreams and inspirations into tangible, real-world results

– You know that if you had the right guidance, you could really make things happen

– You’re interested in the principles behind state of mind

– You want to do all of this authentically, in a way that fits with who you are

– You’re courageous and willing to take action if the direction looks right to you

If this describes you, click here: https://jamiesmartltd.isrefer.com/go/GIG/GK001/

We’ll be selecting the group for this rare opportunity in the next few weeks.

I’m truly looking forward,

Garret

P.S. When you get to the page, just hit the button that says “YES – I want the details” and we’ll get them over to you right away. G

The Separate Self, the True Self, and the Art of Concession

Here’s a question, for you, regarding my last few articles:

Why would I write about the nonexistence of personal control or choice and, at the same time, suggest that those who stop trying to control tend to make better life choices? As several of you have argued: “You’re contradicting yourself, Garret. You’re saying we don’t have control over our choices, and then you’re asking us to make the deliberate choice to stop trying to choose or control.”

Well, yes, I am. But totally on purpose. And here’s the reason:

To help move readers inward—to a change of heart, love, or the true Self—it seems logical to me to make a concession to the separate or personal self that most readers think themselves to be. That is, because the separate self thinks it possesses the power of choice, I’m asking the separate self to make the choice to turn its back on itself. This allows the mind to quiet and the feeling of personal responsibility to fade away. What then remains is the ONE being who is not separate.

Indeed, great teachers, from Jesus to Sydney Banks, understood and relied on this subtle art of concession. They spoke to “individuals” and their apparent free will, even though they knew that free will, or the power to choose, was merely a concept of the human mind. Again, from the perspective of one being or the true Self, no separate entity exists who can choose. But to get there, it’s necessary to appeal to the separate self and the conditioning that gives rise to it.

It’s also important to note that concessions are strictly made as stepping stones toward the easing of personal responsibility or burden. They never add it. For example, Jesus said, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” (a concession to the separate self) not to bolster the delusion of separateness or to apply personal pressure, but to ultimately reveal that there are no others. Today, the overwhelming majority of teachers and coaches are offering up strategies and mantras (e.g., “it’s on you, look in the mirror, find your personal why, believe in yourself, or compete with yourself”) which reinforce the separate self and the burden that, by definition, it wears around its neck.

Bottom line? Over the past few weeks, I’ve made a purposeful concession. I’ve treated readers as separate entities with the hope that they stop trying to control, make deliberate choices, or assume personal responsibility. Only then will the true Self, who will always act peacefully, productively, and in concert with the greater good or universe, effortlessly emerge.

Thank you for reading,

Garret

A Power You Don’t Possess

Here’s a super-quick post to help clear up some confusion.

It seems to me, at this stage of the game, that most of you who read my weekly articles understand that you don’t possess the power to control what thoughts pop into your head.

That’s wonderful.

However, many of you feel that you (or some controlling force inside of you) DO possess the power to act, or not act, on thoughts once they occur. As a reader told me last week, “I’m not responsible for my thoughts, but I am responsible for whether or not I follow my thoughts.”

Well, with all due respect, this common claim is questionable. Why? Because a thought occurs to you, out of your control, and then the choice of what to do with that thought—which is nothing more than another thought—also occurs to you, out of your control.

To illustrate:

“I want to tell that dude off” = a thought

“No, I’m not going to tell that dude off” = another thought

It’s simple. All choices present themselves in the form of a thought. It can’t work any other way. And, as we agreed above, you’re not personally responsible for, and don’t possess the power to control, any thought that occurs to you.

Such liberation.

Garret

Removing Burden

On the heels of last week’s article, http://garretkramer.com/why-the-theory-of-personal-responsibility-is-irresponsible/, and the multitude of questions that ensued, here’s more on why most of us habitually try to take on the burden of personal responsibility, and why it’s never, ever, in our best interest.

To me, it’s fascinating. From being written in scripture to being uttered by virtually every sage, spiritual teacher, or great coach throughout history, “Look within for the answers you seek” is wisdom that seems to have stood the test of time. But, in truth, this wisdom has only served those who’ve grasped its real meaning. And, regrettably, most of us have not.

In other words (throughout history), most of us have innocently assumed that the word “within” means that God, consciousness, inspiration, or salvation lies within us; within our bodies, or within the separate or personal self. But “within” actually means “entos,” which, translated from Greek, means “in the midst of.”

So, to be precise, the term “look within” means that:

A.  Your body lies within (in the midst of) God or consciousness.

B.  God or consciousness does not lie within you.

And this is not a semantic difference.

In my years of experience in the world of mental-performance coaching, I’ve never met a person who didn’t feel uneasy, and even squirm a bit, whenever a teacher, counselor, or coach pointed them within their physical bodies, or within themselves, for inspiration or salvation. Why did they squirm? Because, again, God/consciousness doesn’t lie within them; they lie within it. And intuitively, every human being knows this. They also know that it’s a waste of energy to dig and dig and dig in a personal quest to find something that’s just not there.

Keep in mind: Truth removes burden. Mistruth multiplies it. A helper helps remove burden not by pointing others to the made-up (and burden-enhancing) theory of personal responsibility or “it’s in you.” But by guiding others to the comfort of consciousness. By reminding them that they are not separate; that the universe has their back; that they rest within God’s arms—always.

Thank you for reading,

Garret

Why the Theory of Personal Responsibility Is Irresponsible

I’m about to make a claim that many of you will take umbrage with. How do I know? Because I’ve made this claim to every person, group, or audience I’ve ever stood before, and that’s precisely what’s happened (at first). In spite of that fact, here goes:

There’s no such thing as personal responsibility.

In other words, you don’t possess the personal power to control or coordinate your thoughts, choices, or behaviors. Taking umbrage? If yes, it’s cool, just consider these simple questions: Do you control the millions of processes that are taking place within your body right now? Do you control your mood? Do you control your reflexes? Do you control whether or not you cry at the movies?

If you’re honest, the answer to all of these questions is no.

So, then, why are you living under the false assumption that it’s you who’s personally responsible for your thoughts, choices, and behaviors? I mean, is it actually possible that you’re not responsible for or don’t control 99.99 percent of what takes place within you, yet you do control .01 percent? Seriously?

Actually, I don’t blame you at all. “Control what you can control” is a familiar mantra thrown around in virtually all coaching and self-help circles today—with attitude, effort, positivity, and body language being among the so-called “controllables.” Yet, the surprising truth is: Those who buy into the notion that they’re personally responsible for their comportment and actions are the ones most bound-up and sullen. They’re the ones whose behavior is most out of control.

And here’s the reason:

The human experience appears to flow between clarity and clutter; between wholeness and separateness; between humility and ego; between non-duality and duality; between the impersonal and personal (and it’s normal for it to appear this way). From the personal—or standpoint of the separate self—we feel insecure, alone, and distinct from the world. From the impersonal—or standpoint of the True Self (consciousness, God)—there are no distinctions between ourselves and the world. Now, when the separate self shows up, those who don’t know that it’s normal will attempt to manually find their way back to a safe feeling of wholeness and connection. But since human beings don’t possess the power to shortcut the human experience, in trying to do so they actually get in the way of what would have occurred intuitively (had they not manually intervened). That is, in trying to exert personal responsibility or control over something that can’t be controlled, they obstruct their intuitive ability to return to the impersonal standpoint of the True Self from which everyone, and I mean everyone, will behave in concert with the universe or greater good.

Remember: Sometimes you’ll feel separate (that’s normal) and sometimes you won’t (that’s normal, too). One feeling is not better than the other, so trying to choose between the two is never in your best interest. As the title of this article suggests: Adopting the false theory of personal responsibility or burden breathes life into the separate self—who will always behave irresponsibly.

Thank you for reading,

Garret

A New Year’s Message for Millennials

Two weeks ago, at the end of a presentation, I was asked this question: “What would your advice be for today’s younger generation?” Practically word for word, here was my answer. I hope you find it helpful.

“Be encouraged by those who implore you to speak up and take a resolute stand on injustice. The world today needs courageous young leaders in the mold of Martin Luther King Jr., Gloria Steinem, Jackie Robinson, and Harvey Milk. However, I cannot stress enough the significance of not falling for today’s way-too-common message that tries to try to teach you to be offended. This message is sweeping across college campuses and it’s a main theme on social media. To be clear, when it comes to my personal stance on most social issues, I lean to the left. But someone like Donald Trump cannot make me, or you, feel a certain way. And the more you take his or anyone’s actions personally, the less resourceful, insightful, and courageous you become. It’s simple, you cannot change the world for the better if you’re living under the misconception that what takes place in the world has the power to offend you. This misconception causes you—in a quest to feel better—to attack those who see things differently than you. And this holds mankind’s perpetual cycle of hate and prejudice in place.

In other words, avoid messages that suggest that someone or something can affect the way you feel; messages that indicate that your experience of life is contingent on circumstances or events going the way you or a specific ideology says they should; messages that infer that you’re better than others; messages that claim that human beings experience life from outside to in.

Rather, to change the world for the better, please understand that the world, and everything in it, does not exist separate from you—and you don’t exist separate from it. It’s this overwhelming sense of separation, and the pain that follows, that causes dysfunctional behavior. It causes people to cope, lash out, show aggression, and shun. No matter how you may feel, every sentiment, emotion, or state of mind—everything you experience—is sourced from within, from consciousness, from God. This means that what you experience can never be wrong, or bad, or damaging. You cannot mend what’s not broken—and you can never be. When you recognize this: that you are perpetually whole, capable, and connected; without trying, you’ll regulate back to resilience, determination, and compassion. Answers will rise up and changes of heart will occur. Universal wisdom will guide you, while it will no longer be about you. As distinctions fade, you’ll see yourself in everything and everyone. And, most important, you’ll find love everywhere you look.”

I suppose my message isn’t only for millennials, but for you and me, too. Happy New Year to all.

Love,

Garret