Amber L. Carter's Blog, page 45

Perhaps you even found this blog by Googling the key search words "cool wolves" or "wolf pics" or even "cool wolf pics."

Here at An Amber-Colored Life, we have a long and storied history with wolves.

Cool wolf pics.


Wolf warriors.

Wolves bred with unicorns, called Magistical Wolficorns (which are also now featured on assorted fine products):

Art Work Courtesy of TonyMotivational Wolves.

 More particularly, with mystical wolf shirts.


 Sometimes, our journey with the mystical wolf hasn't always been harmonious. In fact...there was a period there where...god, it just feels so crazy now, to think about it...where we almost broke up.  We even went on a break for a little while, to get right without ourselves first before we could come together again. And it hurt...for a really long time. 

But we got over the hurt, the pain, and the separation, and I'm happy to say that we're in a much better place now. And our love for each other grows every day. And it's a different, more mature kind of love... the kind that isn't possessive. Isn't selfish. The kind that is secure and wants to share this love with others.

And thanks to David Wratchford, I realized yesterday that this isn't just my journey with the mystical wolf...it is the world's.

Need proof? Just check out these reviews on this Amazon page for The Mountain Three Wolf Moon Short Sleeve Tee (tip: it also glows in the dark. And yes, I can get you one at a store in Hayward).





I will ignore the references to hipsters, and simply enjoy the fact that the power of mystical wolves seem to now be taking over the world.

You're welcome, world. 



For more on world-wide trends that happily I take full credit for, hit me up on Twitter, Facebook, and Pinterest.

Which do you guys like better...

Fake Surprised Face #1?

Or Fake Surprised Face #2?

Either way, I was pretty non-fake excited to get my copy of May Cause Miracles in the mail today.

After Spirit Junkie pretty much changed my life, I started listening to Gabby's lectures like they were Top 40 hits...and her Spirit Junkie guided meditations? Kick ass. For a really long time, I had been looking for a guided meditation that wasn't set to cheesy music or filled with a bunch of unnecessary talk, and Gabby's guided meditations were it (I cannot wait to see what the May Cause Miracles meditation album is like).

Here's the deal - Gabby's like that really cool upperclassmen chick in high school that your dorky freshman self idolizes from afar, until you find yourself sitting next to her in an AP class and find out that she's super nice and fun, to everyone, which just makes you admire her even more. And then you find out that she actually has the exact same problems as you, and struggles with getting that cute boy to like her just as much you struggle to get that nerd boy sitting behind you in class to like you (whom you will later find out is actually gay, but you don't know that yet and so you're still trying to bond with him over "The Hobbit") which makes you just like her even more, because now she's like, relateable and stuff.

That's Gabby. She's super fucking cool, and she's gonna make you feel super fucking cool, too.

Also, happy.

Like, genuinely, authentically, vibing-with-the-universe-cause-I-get-this-shit-now happy.

If you're kind of interested in this whole meditation mess...maybe seeking something a little deeper when it comes to the spiritual stuff...kind of want to learn a little more about what this "manifesting" gig is all about...then Gabby's your gateway. Truth and testament. There's a lot of great people out there that I consider to be my teachers and will gladly recommend to friends and clients when it comes to this particular jam of mine, but Gabby's the first and favorite one that I recommend...to everyone, no matter where they are with this stuff. Because even if they don't dig all the spiritual stuff, chances are they'll still dig her.

Also, she's hot.

Red Wing Wednesday: Not So "Wonderful Tonight" Prom

This is the dress I was supposed to wear to prom junior year, which I then instead wore to Girls State that summer (Kimmy and Katy came to the ceremony)It was the middle of my junior year.

A lot had happened since the prom disaster of sophomore year. The spring and summer of sophomore year, I had started running a mile a day (because of gym class - that's a RW Wednesday story for later) and thus lost the rest of my "baby fat" (otherwise known as, "I spent the majority of my childhood sitting around all day reading books and watching MTV and Nick At Nite fat") over the summer. I had also landed my first real boyfriend - Darren, who was from Ellsworth - at the end of that summer.

Which also meant that I had FINALLY gotten kissed! And then I broke up with Darren, which also meant that I had been through my first dramatic (soooo dramatic) high school break up.

It was awesome. These are all stories I will tell in future editions of Red Wing Wednesday. Please feel free to get excited now.

The point is, by winter of my junior year, I felt like I had been around the block a couple of times. I had been kissed now (and had even passed a couple of other bases, in the meantime. But that's for later, Gentle Readers Who Are Not My Mom). I was mature. And yet...still eager for a boy's attention.

So when Tim Schilling started showing up at varsity basketball games to watch me cheer (and then sticking around after to do that thing where you tease each other and it's supposed to be meant as flirting), I started paying attention.

Tim was friends with some mutual friends of mine, mainly Steph Voth and Greg Carlson. Tim was Greg's best friend, and Greg was going out with Steph, who I had started being friends with that year. I don't remember the exact details of how it happened, but I feel like junior year was the year when the crowd I spent the most time with in high school started to kind of solidify, and it included Katie Carmine, Heidi Gilles, Melissa Ladsten, Sayge Blume, Kim Wentzler, Katy Roskam, and Sarah Midler (a senior).

Aka, these guys.
From left: Heidi, Ladsten, Katy, and Steph.Here's what I remember most about what led me to liking Tim: It was a Kenny Chesney song...or, to be more specific, it was a Kenny Chesney video.

This one - 



Track had just started -
Sayge, Katy, and Kimmy at track practice. We watched a lot of "Billy Madison" in high school...
 ...it was almost spring, and I remember thinking, "Dating Tim Schilling would be like that video by Kenny Chesney."

Seriously. This was how my mind worked, kids. It still works like that. As you can probably guess, being a soundboard for my critical thinking and decision-making adventures can be pretty damn entertaining.

So anyway - I was attracted to Tim because he was a farm boy, but I started to actually like him because he was super nice, funny, straightforward, and only got more attractive the more I knew him. And, in a weird way, he was a little bit more...rebellious? than some of the other guys I had dated.

Even though I was still very much a part of my church's youth group, it was exciting to me to date a guy who went to parties and then actually drank at them. It was fun and novel to go to a party somewhere in Goodhue, sit on Tim's lap and laugh while he and Steph and Greg joked around and drank cans of Bud Light (while I pretended to sip mine). Tim was really well-liked - he was loud in a cheerful way, and he was funny, and he liked being around people, which made him fun to have at parties, as well as date.

Tim and I went out for a few weeks before he asked me to go to prom with him. I was excited - we were going to go with Steph and Greg (who also happened to be Tim's best friend) and afterward a bunch of us were going to go to Greg's house for a prom after-party (Greg had the COOLEST parents. Seriously, his mom and dad were super fun and nice and awesome). I had found a perfect dress...it was long, simple, the color of deep purple, and every time I tried it on, I got more and more excited for prom. This time, I remember thinking, prom would actually be a fun experience.

However...

One of the things I had also gotten into during my junior year was T.E.C (Teens Encounter Christ). My friend Kim had "introduced" (there's a bunch of different T.E.C.-related lingo, kind of like with frats and sororities) me to T.E.C. that fall - it was a bi-annual weekend retreat at St. John's Episcopal in St. Paul, MN, and it's hard to describe to other people just how amazing it was. Everything you've seen about cheesy church and youth group stuff...this had none of it. It was this really deep, intense, and radical experience, and more than that, it had kind of opened up my world by giving me the opportunity to meet and befriend tons of (uber cool city) kids that made me realize that I wasn't half as alone as I thought I was when it came to the stuff I struggled with and the things I wanted for my future.Which made me realize that I was settling for things - including boyfriends - who were less than what I truly wanted (please note that I was 17. I took the search for my soulmate seriously at 17. How did anyone stand being around me in high school?!). So when I got back, I set about immediately changing the things in my life that didn't fit this new world that I had just discovered for myself.

Which included breaking up with my then-boyfriend, Darren.

Spring T.E.C. was a week before prom. Before I left for it, Tim told me that Darren had warned Tim to watch out - that I was probably going to come back from T.E.C. and dump Tim, too. While I laughed and told Tim that Darren was an idiot, I couldn't help worrying that Darren might end up being right. In between T.E.C.'s, it was easy to forget about that feeling I felt there, where things just clicked and I felt really happy, and like I fit in. Tim was a really nice guy. He was fun to hang out with, and kind of fun to make out with, but other than that...there really wasn't that much there. It was just...fun. It wasn't the kind of deep, intense, radical stuff I felt at T.E.C. and knew I wanted to feel in all the other areas of my life. 
So off to T.E.C. I went.

Me, Kimmy, and my T.E.C. BFF Phil Schaffer at Spring T.E.C. We were on Kitchen Team, which explains our awesome hat and aprons. And sure enough, pretty much the second I walked in, I met Andrew.

I think there's at least one guy in every girl's life who is the epitome of breathtaking awe. And Andrew was it. Andrew was hugely exciting to me. He was so confident, and sincerely charming, and just that kind of guy who didn't have to try to be cool...he just was (he was also incredibly hot, just for the record. Think adult Justin Timberlake). From the moment we met, Andrew went after me, which was just...I mean...formerly-chubby bookworm dork girl getting pursued by one of the hottest, smartest, coolest guys she's ever met? (this is also obviously the kind of stuff that only happens when you don't go to the same schools)...it was crazy and intense and amazing, all at the same time. And the best thing? Andrew was the first boy I had ever met who actually seemed to care about what I had to say and how I felt about it. I could actually talk to him about stuff, which, for me, in high school...was a pretty big deal.

The night before T.E.C., Andrew and I were slow dancing (finally!! A GOOD slow dance!), and he asked me if I was seeing anyone. I told him yes, but that it wasn't serious, and in that moment, I knew I had already made up my mind to break up with Tim.

So when Andrew and I said goodbye at the end of the weekend, we made plans for him to come and visit me in Red Wing (he lived in Stillwater) in a couple of weeks, and we basically spent four hours on the phone that night after we both got home, because that's the stuff you do when you're in high school and crazy about someone.

I was a wreck at school on Monday. I already missed Andrew, and I was dreading having to break-up with Tim. I did like Tim - I just didn't like him enough - and the thought of hurting his feelings killed me. I also knew that I was going to look like a huge bitch for breaking up with him right before prom...but I also knew there was no other way around it. Going to prom with him and waiting to break up with him afterward was also a shitty proposition, and one was honest and honorable and the other was not.

Tim walked up to me while I was at my locker that day, and asked me how T.E.C. went. I couldn't even look at him. I told him that I couldn't go out with him anymore, that I had to break up, and that I didn't think we should go to prom. Tim just stood there for a while, quiet, before he said "Okay" and walked away.

I felt absolutely horrible. The rest of the week was weird: I felt awful for hurting Tim's feelings and ruining his plans for prom, but at the same time, I felt relieved that I had done what I felt was the right thing and could now concentrate on my excitement about Andrew.

Prom arrived, and I went to the Grand March with my friend Sayge. The theme of that year's prom, to my recollection, was "Wonderful Tonight" (the Eric Clapton song), and as I sat there, watching my friends walk down the aisle, I kind of regretted not going. I didn't regret not going with Tim, since I knew it wouldn't be fair to go with Tim and be thinking about Andrew all night, but I really loved my prom dress and the theme was awesome and it would have been fun to have gone with all of my friends. Earlier that week I had briefly thought about asking Andrew to go with me, and I think he even offered, but it felt a little too soon for he and I to go to something like that, even though, sitting there with Sayge in the auditorium while we watched the Grand March, I knew it would have been a totally perfect night if I could have gone with him. 

But instead, Sayge and I went out to dinner and then hit up Greg's house and had an absolute blast decorating it for the after-prom party that Greg was hosting for all of our friends (even if we didn't go to prom, there was no way we were going to miss out on the after-party). The after-party was awesome...as you can see from Heidi and Sayge's faces in this pic - 

 It's a little hazy, though, and I think I keep getting details mixed up with another party or two that we had at Greg's, probably during senior year? Because at one of those parties, I remember some girl from Stillwater who was super nice and was dating one of the guys from our crowd, and she knew Andrew, but I can't remember if that was junior or senior year? And I also remember a party that Nate (Julie's ex) was at (Julie's ex) when he had a broken leg and he got, like, date-raped by this girl Nicki later that night - he had a broken leg! he could hardly move! - and Jason Bee ended up puking into a beer carton. Maybe that was a graduation party?

Anyway. High school was great, wasn't it? 

The following weeks after that prom were also kind of a blur, but in a good way. Andrew came to visit and we had an amazing weekend, but carrying on a long-distance relationship while you're a junior in high school is hard to do. By the time the T.E.C. reunion rolled around in late May, we agreed that we were in a kind of a weird situation - it sounds like a cop-out, but we liked each other so much that it made it that much harder to not be able to see each other all the time. So we broke up. And then literally about fifteen minutes later, I met Gabe, who ended up being the first love (or what I thought was love, at 17) of my life.

I got to actually wear my junior prom dress later summer, at this week-long politico-brainiac thing called Girls State.
Look how cute my baby brother Daniel looks in this picture!
My Girls State pals, posing with their Senator (that would be me).My family, Katy, Kimmy, and Gabe all came to the ceremony, so everyone important in my life got to see me in the dress, which made up for having to miss prom. Tim and I stayed friends throughout the rest of high school, and we even got to hang out a couple of times after we graduated. He was and still is a really great guy.

As a way to appropriately end this little blogging blast into the year 1996, I invite you to enjoy this little musical memory:



You're welcome.




For more amazing insights into how I choose boyfriends based on arbitrary methods such as popular music videos, you can follow me here and here.

2012: An Amber-Colored Year In Review (In Pictures!)

Last New Years Eve. The Darkness. Live. In January. It was AWESOME.
Book trailer fun time! Starting Jason DeRusha, Tony D'Aloia (pictured), Jake Nyberg, and Andrew Eklund.  Erica of RedheadWriting with my book at SXSW More highlights after the jump!
Nerdist!!!! Got mah book signed by my husband, Chris Hardwick. An awesome book reading and signing by Cheryl Stayed. Made even sweeter by getting to attend it with Erica! Did it.
My best friend Autumn and her hot husband Bret came to visit and I took this and she's gonna LOVE that I'm posting it, I bet! One of the funnest nights of my life with the Bauschy crew took place in this bouncy castle.
Megan's wedding! In Stockholm, WI. It was beautiful.
Look what I made you guys!!! (Glacier National, for Erica & Chris' wedding(
Jesus, I went to a lot of book readings and signings this year, huh? Me and Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess. Big Top with My #1 Lady Katy for Nickelcreek!
A dream come true - Mykl and I successfully organized a SMBMSP After Hours as a thinly-veiled excuse to meet Erika in person.  I was lucky enough to get to hang out with Erica and Chris in L.A in September! So great. This year's Halloween costume: 50 Shades of Gray New gig with the MCO crew. New digs.
After slacking off last year, I finished again this year. Boom. Editing. And then editing again. And then editing some more...
Had to say goodbye to Pooks, the cat that taught me how to love, this year. Miss you, old girl. Photo credit: Alie Schipper
I got to be a guest on the December SMBMSP podcast! Seriously a dream come true.
Presenting at Nerd Nite in December was definitely one of the funnest nights of 2012.
Spoke on a panel for SMBMSP #52: Jumping Tracks. Look how hip Don Ball looks in his t-shirt and sport jacket! Love it. Photo credit: Joel Carlson
This is a highlight because it contains tickets to the Local Natives show in March, distance training to Movement Minneapolis, and some totally sweet antler stuff. Which basically means this highlight will lead to 2013 highlights.
A little champs in the jacuzz on NYE never hurt nobody...Happy 2013 everybody!!

Happy NYE, Everybody!

You Will Never Feel The Same Way Again.

If you've been paying attention, then you kind of already know by now that I'm a little into this whole meditation/manifestation/visualization stuff. 

But more to the point, I'm a lot into the whole you're awesome/so you deserve an awesome life/so here's some stuff to help you get it stuff.

 Earlier this fall I talked about how, if you're going to build a great life for yourself, you gotta have a blueprint. And then I showed you a little bit about how I made mine. And since it's New Years, it's the perfect time to think about this stuff a little more.

And when it comes to the figuring out of what you want out of life - and why - and then the going out and getting it...I gotta say it: Danielle Laporte's got it right. 
I really dig Danielle, and I consider her to be one of my teachers when it comes to the spiritual stuff. She's sharp, she's sexy, she's in tune with herself, and she's got some truth bombs that'll shake you out of your complacency before you can say, "but...".  I picked up her book The Fire Starter Sessions last summer, and it melted my face off. Her new book, The Desire Map, turns goal-setting inside out. Instead of being stressful and constricting like most goal-setting has a tendency to be, her stuff is actually fun and invigorating - like a champagne spritz to the brain. 
And if you wanna talk about making cool stuff...this isn't just a book (although the printed book is a beat - it's embossed, even!). It's also a downloadable book, an audio book, a series of audio contemplations; a private, online Desire Map space; an app, and 12 weeks of weekly inspiration to help people make desire-mapping a true practice.

In a word: Amazeballs.

Check it out by clicking the image or by going here.

We Live Lives of Luxury, People.

A couple weeks ago, I recently acquired an espresso machine to replace the one I had last summer/fall. A part from my old one had broken last fall, and then I moved into a household with a Keurig (which is also awesome, by the way). When I moved up here, though, I kept thinking about how great it would be to have an espresso machine again - we have a couple of really great coffeeshops, but they tend to close early, and this girl likes to drink coffee at night (does that impress you? Does it make you think that I'm sophisticated and interesting...maybe even a little reckless? This girl throws caffeine worries and sleepless nights to the wind!). So a couple weeks ago, the situation was finally remedied, and I realized that I completely forgot how luxurious and amazing having an espresso machine can be. I forgot how much I loved a shot of espresso or a cup of Americano in the morning compared to coffee, and lattes...laaaatteeeees!

Supplied with espresso beans from Backroads Coffee & Tea and supermarket eggnog (don't judge me), I'm gonna ride this eggnog train until the last carton of eggnog has been plundered from all the stores in the greater Northwoods area.

And then I might just start making my own batch, because wow...have you guys tried this yet? I remember getting an eggnog latte at Starbucks once and hating it, but this...if you've got really rich, dark espresso and you steam the nog just right, it's the perfect balance between sweet and dark.

Kind of like the perfect man.

*sips, slurps*

This Chicken & Wild Rice Crockpot Soup is probably the best thing I've made. Being that, you know..I haven't created any human lives yet.

A long time ago, back when I lived alone in my beloved Aerie Loft in Spooner, I had this phase where I spent my weekends making soup.

Yeah. It was wild times that fall, people. W-i-l-d.

But I dug the process of it. I like to cook, and I think I inherited my mom's talent and skill in that area, but most of the time I get overwhelmed by the long list of ingredients and instructions that most didn't-buy-anything-in-the-frozen-food-section recipes require. My big culinary standards are my roast chicken (SO easy! And great every time), a carrot and onion side dish I swiped from my friend Matt (seriously, that guy needs to write a cookbook. Handsome, buff, a great husband and father AND ridiculously good in the kitchen? Chelsea won the Life Lotto on that one), and The Carter Family Mashed Potatoes (so good that no butter or gravy is required. NO LIE.). But, the most impressive thing is that those recipes require maybe four or five ingredients, tops.

So I think part of why I got on this big soup kick that fall was that it filled up a lot of my time - researching great recipes online, collecting all the ingredients at the store, and then spending the afternoon slicing and dicing and throwing all of these great things into a pot to cook and simmer while I sipped wine and listened to Van Morrison. It felt homey. Comforting. Even kind of sexy in a way. It was leisure cooking...the kind that you don't have to stress out about or be super technical with. You could just lean into it and relax and take your time.

That fall I perfected a chili recipe, attempted the St. James Hotel's Famous Chicken & Wild Rice Soup (I don't recommend it - way too sweet when homemade), and even tried my hand at a lobster bisque (super good! And surprisingly easy).

The chili is still a staple, but since then I've been looking for a chicken and wild rice soup recipe that I don't hate. When I came across this recipe on Pinterest that had you making the soup in a crockpot...I didn't have high hopes, but figured it was worth a shot.

From Chef MommyHere's how I made it -

Ingredients:

4 1/2 cups chicken broth
2 cups water
2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, diced
1 package of Rice-a-Roni long grain and wild rice
1/2 tsp salt (plus more to taste)
1/2 tsp pepper
1/2 cup all purpose flour
1/2 cup butter
2 cups half and half
1 cup diced carrots
1 cup diced celery
1 cup sliced mushrooms

Directions:

Combine broth, water, carrots, celery, mushrooms, chicken and rice (along with seasoning packet) in a large slow cooker. Cook on high for 4 hours (or 6 hours, if you wanna do it slow and low).

In a small bowl combine salt, pepper, and flour. In medium saucepan over medium to medium-low heat, melt butter. Stir in flour mixture by tablespoon to form a roux (for those not in the know - it's sort of a soft doughy-like mixture). This is the only part where you're going to want to go a little slow and take your time. Whisk in cream, a little at a time (I did this tablespoon by tablespoon, too), until fully incorporated and smooth. Stir cream mixture into slow cooker and then let cook on low for 15 more minutes, stirring occasionally.

And you're done! Pair it with some crusty bread, a glass of red, and the newest episode of New Girl, and you've got The Full Amber Experience.

What's Your Jam?

Stuff like this? Most definitely #MyJamIt's like that big, burly, bearded friend of yours who neverdances...until The Song comes on. And then, out of nowhere, he shoots up, hollers out, "THAT'S MAH JAM!", and runs out to the dancefloor, where he proceeds to break it down like it's never been broken down before.

And it doesn't matter if it's the dumbest song ever or if he's the only one out there: He's gonna dance like it's the last dance of his life. And the best part? He's so into it that everyone else can't help but crowd around and watch, clapping and cheering him on.

Now imagine being that guy when it comes to your life.

I like to think about the stuff I love and the stuff I love to do as my jams. It's that thing (and sometimes, if you're really lucky, that sense of place in life) where you love what you're doing so much that you don't give a shit about whether or not you're good at it, or if anyone else thinks it's great, or if you ever make a dime from doing it...you're still gonna rock out to it. Day and night, unapologetically, no matter what.

Because that's your jam.

A couple weeks ago, I was lucky enough to be a guest on a podcastand a panel for SMBMSP. During the panel, we talked about jumping tracks when it came to careers, and I advised that if you're going to go out on your own, if you're going to be a renegade badass and quit your job to do something else, you've gotta make sure that what you're doing is your jam. You've gotta be so into it that you're going to stay up all day and night to do it (if you're not doing that already)...and not because you're trying to turn your boot-strap start-up into IPO status or prove your parents wrong...but because you love it that much. So much, in fact, that having the freedom and ability to stay up all day and night working on it is pretty much the top reason why you're quitting your job in the first place.

And it can be for something as small as unabashedly loving super awesomely cheesy fan art, or as big as striking out on your own to start your own company. The point is that, when you find your #1 Dance Track, you get clarity. And not just on what you love...but how loving something is supposed to make you feel.

Right now, my current dance jam is DJ Got Us Fallin' In Love by Usher. Let me be real: I don't even like Usher half the time, and this definitely is not my usual type of jam (I'm more of an 80s girl when it comes to super jams). But no matter what, whenever that song comes on, I wanna dance. Even if I'm tired, or cranky, or have other stuff to do, or not in the dancing mood...once I hear that beat, it's all over. Suddenly I've got balls of energy, I'm dancing around like a crazy person (crazy sexy person, obviously), and I'm happy.
That's what your jam does for you: It energizes you. And it could be only one thing in your life that makes you feel that way, or a bunch of things. The main power of it, though, is that once you realize and start paying attention to how your jam makes you feel...the more you'll start to recognize the things that aren't.

Take for instance, blogging. Writing and blogging is my jam. No question, hands down...I will chuck everything else out the window for that area of my life, and once I get into the groove it, I don't want to stop. But I had to teach myself this whole jam thing even within the sphere of blogging. Observing the success of other bloggers and reading endless articles about valuable content and being a "niche" blogger...that shit can mess with your head. And the thing is...I could only write about social media. I could only write about company culture. I could only write about relationship strategy and using behavioral psychology to get what you want and a billion other things that would position me and my blog as an "expert" in a field, and I might even end up being really great at that stuff, too. But you know what?

That's not my jam. 

Only blogging about that stuff...is really fucking boring. That's what I learned with Cyber Dating Sidekick...creating and maintaining a blog that's only about dating, only about relationships...yawn and snore, dudes. I would really only be doing that stuff so it could lead me to something else - a bigger payday, a book deal, a TV show, etc. And doing stuff to lead to other stuff, as some of us have already found out (or are finding out), is ultimately unsatisfying.

Writing and blogging about stuff - everything and anything - that gets my attention (mainly boys and feelings)...that is my jam, because I like doing it just for the pure joy of doing it. When it comes to stuff like relationships and meditation and even cooking, I like telling stories, even if it's just to amuse myself. I like making it personal. I like doing it for me.

And some people don't really dig that. But if we all loved to dance to the same songs, there wouldn't be any room left on the dancefloor, yeah?

I learned that when I listened to myself...when I go back to that place when I was happiest blogging and it seemed like people were the happiest reading it...it was always when I was telling personal stories and posting the dumbest, most ridiculous stuff, and was making the blog a scrapbook, essentially, of my life. And it started to make sense in that, when I thought more about it, I started to see that the greatest successes I've had in my adult life always came when I was doing something just for me, just because I liked it. Because I loved doing it so much that I couldn't bring myself to stop. Because those were my jams.

I started this blog for me, thinking that no one would ever really read it except for myself and few close friends I shared it with. I started blogging about online dating because I basically just wanted to keep a record of how ridiculous, hilarious, and slightly-nightmarish the whole thing was so I could look back on it later and laugh when I was being happily ravished by my extremely physically attractive and mentally healthy husband. I wrote Holiday Chick because writing the Losing You series (the original blueprint for Holiday Chick) was so fun that I got lost in the writing of it night after night. I started writing about being brave through a break-up because it was what I was going through and needed to hear for myself, and then I started to attract clients who wanted personal relationship coaching in that realm.

Those are all things I did just because I really wanted to, and because it felt great to do them...and then when I did, they blew up in a way I never expected. And that's kind of what happens, I feel like, when people find their jam. Look at Chris Hardwick and Nerdist Industries...a guy starts a podcast with his two dork friends where all they do is talk about comedy and nerd stuff. Not exactly an obvious blueprint for world domination, yeah? And yet...now it is. It sounds ironic, yet the more I see it, the more I know it's true...when you're doing the thing you love so much that you don't even care whether or not anyone else is paying attention, that's precisely when everyone starts to.And god...being on the other end of it...how much fun is it to watch that guy, yeah? It's infectious. And it's the kind of infection that makes this world a hell of a lot more fun to live in.

So figure out what your jam is. 

And then dance the shit out of it.





What's your jam? Better yet...what's NOT your jam? Join in on the conversation over at Twitter, Facebook, or Pinterest if you're more into pictures than words. 

You guys! LOOKIT WHAT TONY MADE ME.