Denise Duffield-Thomas's Blog, page 37

It’s Never Too Late to Find Your Dream Job!

Everyone loves asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up. They always have such great ideas – astronaut, professional football player, cowboy, ballerina, vet!

Of course, kids aren’t so bothered by the fact that they’ll one day need a job or business idea to “pay the bills” or care about making “sensible” choices.

They just want to do what makes them happy.

Me? I wanted to have my own business (I desperately wanted to wear a power suit with shoulder pads) and if that didn’t work out, I wanted to be a professional dancer.

I never thought I’d meander through more than 50 jobs by the time I was 30, most of which made me miserable.

So, what about you? What was your burning desire as a child?

Most people have a secret dream of what they want to be and do with their lives. Some are already living it – either as a career or as a hobby. Others are too scared to even articulate what they want.

How do you discover your dream job or your purpose in life?

Success Habits: Look for Clues

Finding your ideal job or purpose is really obvious in hindsight. Usually because it’s been a dream for a long time, or it just fits so perfectly with your innate skills and talents. People who find their passion in life say that “Everything just came together”, or “All of my experiences in life has led me to this”.

Clues can be found in childhood:

My husband used to sell sweets (at an exorbitant profit) to kids at school. No wonder then that he’s now a sales dynamo. He also found a way to combine his mad passion for football with his brilliant skill in sales and marketing.

My favourite toy as a kid was the Olivetti electric typewriter I got for my 9th birthday. No wonder that I love writing (thanks mum!).

My friend Claire wanted to be an actress from a young age and now she’s finally moving to L.A to do it full time.

What if you have no idea, but you know for sure that you’re not doing it. “Anything but what I’m doing now,” isn’t specific enough for the Universe to manifest the right opportunities, people and resources to help you along the way. Consider the following:

What do you love to do?
What have you always dreamt about doing with your life?
What do other people tell you that you’d be fantastic at?
What courses do you dream about taking?
If you didn’t have to worry about taking a pay cut, or what other people thought about it, what would you do?

Take the first steps

Once you have an inkling of your passion, then start to take steps towards changing your career or living in your purpose.

This includes volunteering, shadowing someone in your chosen field, taking it on as a side hobby or completing a course to get new qualifications.

It doesn’t matter how young or old you are – time passes anyway. You might look at the length of time it would take to complete a completely new line of study, and think “6 years! What’s the point?!”.

Tell that to my friend Angela, who is almost finished her part-time psychology course which she started on top of a completely different career. Ditto my friend, Dave, who did his part-time MBA. Time goes quickly.

Tell that to the fabulous Mirna, who became a reflexologist after working in a department store for years (and hating it), despite having no clue about how she was going to manage to get her dream job.

Make the change

Making drastic changes can be scary – I get it, but it’s also liberating. Quitting a horrible job is awesome, applying for your dream job is a great step in the right direction, but you have to do something – otherwise you’ll stay exactly where you are now.

If you “can’t afford” to make the change, then start to plan how you could ease into a new career without completely derailing your life or cause yourself stress. Put aside a bit of money for your course, start changing your spending habits now to anticipate a drop in income or spare some time outside of your current job to move towards your dreams.

You might be working late nights and weekends for a while, but it will pay off eventually and you’ll enjoy it because it will be entirely for YOU.

Even just indulging in your passion as a hobby will make big changes in your life. Doing a night course in photography will spark your creativity, volunteering with animals will make up for never becoming a vet and going on a once in a lifetime holiday to a horse camp will probably satisfy that inner cowboy dream.

I’ll never be a professional dancer, but I just went back to dance school for tap, jazz and modern lessons and it reminds me that my passions are important.

What are you going to do to make a change in your life?

Own it

As you make the transition into your new life, you have to start seeing yourself in a new way before other people will.

It took me so long to tell people I was a life coach. I just didn’t believe it myself so how could I tell people that? It felt like a lie, even though I had done the training.

I started coaching people for free, so technically I was a life coach. I felt more comfortable about telling people what I did, and guess what? They believed me! 

Which made me believe it and all of a sudden I was attracting paid clients left, right and centre!

What you say becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. So, the next time someone asks what you do, just experiment….

I’m an actress
I own my own business
I’m a children’s book writer
I’m a photographer
I’m a graphic designer
etc

Get your business cards made up, start a website or make a brochure. It will help you feel like it’s real.

If you feel uncomfortable telling people your dream, then get out there and get some experience! Everyone has to start somewhere. Most professions have an apprenticeship of sorts, so don’t be embarrassed if you have to start at the bottom. With passion and purpose fuelling you, you won’t be there long.

Don’t worry about doing work for free at the beginning. This is just to get your confidence up and to help you believe in yourself and your work.

Clear your Mindset blocks

Working jobs that you don’t love or don’t fit with your skills and personality is hard and it can negatively impact your mindset and self-belief.

What stories are you holding on to from past jobs about what you’re good at or how much you deserve to earn?

Do you have old memories and limiting beliefs holding you back from unsupportive ex-bosses or colleagues?

Are you struggling to move beyond a certain income level because it’s “what you’ve always earnt”? What if you could earn more from your passion than your old job? 

Lots of the entrepreneurs I coach are holding on to and are held back by beliefs and blocks from old jobs and bosses. 

Before you can embrace a career or business you love and make the money you want, you need to clear these old sabotages and negative beliefs. 

I’m chatting live about ALL of this on this month’s coaching call in our Money Bootcamp community. There’s a spot reserved for you if you’re ready to take the next step towards your dream job (and life!). Join us here.

So, I’ll ask you again:

What do you want to be when you grow up?

When you grow outside of your limitations, fears and self-doubts, when you grow out of needing other people’s approval, when you grow out of living up to the expectations of others. When you finally give yourself permission to dream and be happy.

I’d love to hear about how you’re making your dream a reality, one step at a time.

It’s your time and you’re ready for the next step,

Denise xx

Nine Most Common Self-Care Mistakes Entrepreneurs Make (and how to avoid them)

Hey gorgeous,

I’ve got a confession to make. Sometimes I eat popcorn for lunch, don’t drink enough water, and I’ve often procrastinated about leaving the house.

I started my business to give myself more flexibility and abundance, but I’m the first to admit that I let my self-care slide all the time.

If you’re in the same position, today I want to inspire you to change a few habits. Together, we can make a commitment to create a First Class life in all areas.

I’m up for it if you are!

Let me ask you a question…

How far do you go to “get sh*t done” in your business?

As anentrepreneur, you’ve probably done some pretty insane things in the name of “getting the job done”. Whatever you did probably made complete sense in the moment. After all, you did it to build your business, meet a deadline, or avoid letting someone else down, right?

Richard Branson said, “Entrepreneurs work 100 hours a week so they don’t have to work 40 hours for someone else.” But you can’t live like that forever. It’s just not sustainable.

Look, there’s nothing wrong with a little hustle when you need it, but that kind of logic is exactly why you find yourself doing bizarre things like:

Eating dinner over the sink or in the car as you rush from one client appointment to the next.
Pulling all-nighters and sacrificing sleep, then only getting dressed if you have a webinar. And then even then, it’s probably business dress on top, PJs on the bottom.
Going to conferences around the world… where all you do is arrive, attend a conference in a generic hotel, and then fly home.

(I’ve totally done all those things at least once in my business.)

Girlfriend, it’s not cool to treat yourself like that!

Self-care isn’t just about getting manicures and facials. It’s about giving yourself the time and space to live your life as a well rounded person.

It’s about treating yourself the way you’d treat your best friend.

Entrepreneurship makes it way too easy to ignore self-care

If most of us are honest, we’ll admit that we weren’t too super-hot at self-care even before we started our businesses. Let’s face it: our culture and society just doesn’t encourage us women to take real care of themselves (but that’s a rant for another day!)

At least as an employee, though, you get natural, built-in boundaries between “work time” and “not work time”. There often aren’t a lot of other advantages to working for someone else, but at least there’s that! I think your boss would notice if you didn’t shower for days at a time!

Once you start working for yourself, though, no-one else is responsible for your boundaries. That makes it so much harder to keep yourself from working 24/7 because there’s so much to do!

And it often just seems natural to prioritize your business now and figure that you’ll look after yourself later – once you become “successful”. But trust me when I say that I still struggle with this stuff, even though I don’t have to work as hard now as when I first started my business.

Self-care really is a mindset problem rather than a logistical one.

Nine most common self-care mistakes that entrepreneurs like you make

If you watch TV ads, you could be forgiven for thinking that self-care is about which brand of shampoo or air-freshener you buy. (And yes, that’s another rant of mine!)

The truth, of course, is that self-care is about looking after yourself at a deep level in a number of areas. Here are some of the fundamental self-care mistakes I regularly see business owners making.

Physical

Skipping meals, eating way too much junk food, or constantly hitting the caffeine to get you through the day.
Going short on sleep, working late into the night (if you’re a morning person), or getting up way too early for client calls (if you’re a night owl).
Ignoring your body’s need to pee because you “just need five more minutes to finish this job”.

Emotional

Discounting your inner alarm bells and taking on clients that you really don’t want to work with.
Regularly standing up your friends or family to meet a business deadline.
Giving up your hobbies and other non-work interests because you just “don’t have time”.

(Hey, I love my business as much as you do, but I think we can both agree that they really shouldn’t be our only hobbies!)

Spiritual

Neglecting your meditation, journaling or other spiritual practice.
Forgetting to take time out to connect with whatever form Spirit/Source takes for you.
Feeling as though you need to do everything yourself, and refusing to allow the Universe to help.


Key takeaway: you ARE your business

Here’s a fundamental truth: there’s only one resource that your business truly can’t do without, and that’s YOU. If almost anything else in your business breaks down, you can find a way forward. It might be a pain in the butt, but you can do it.

If you drive yourself to the point of adrenal fatigue (or just to the point that you can’t do your best work), it’s a lot harder to bounce back.

I’ve met many entrepreneurs who’ve had to abandon their life’s work because the Universe practically forced them to rest with a major health problem or accident. We don’t want that to happen to you!

That’s why deferring your self-care “until you become successful” is the quickest route I know to burn out. And the paradox is that it actually stops you from being successful. (Much like refusing to pay yourself “until you’re successful” … which is ANOTHER rant of mine: wow, this is a ranty post!)

In fact, you might even be able to combine self-care and business together!

For example, I take quarterly business retreats with my girlfriends. We drive for an hour together to a spa, talking business the whole way. Then we have massages separately, have our mani/pedis together, and end the retreat with a nice lunch.

What does this mean for your money mindset?

Well, one of my mentors Kendall Summerhawk says “how you do money is how you do everything” and I’ve found the reverse to also be true. 

How you do self-care will bring up stuff around your mindset and beliefs.

Are you worthy and deserving of self-care?

Will the money stop if you take some time out for self-care?

If you’re resisting investing money on self-care, where else in your business are you resisting spending much needed money?

Is your self-care routine “economy”, “premium economy” or “First Class”? Where can you make an incremental upgrade today?

Is your lack of boundaries and systems in your business making self-care more difficult?

Finish this sentence… “When I take care of myself first, my business will…” 

This is the type of reflection and exploration we do in my Money Bootcamp course and community, especially on our monthly group coaching calls. 

If you want my support to work on your relationship with money and the beliefs and habits you have around spending and receiving then click here and message me the word “Bootcamp”. 

What self-care strategies could you start using TODAY?

Here are a few practical ideas for you to try out:

Implement “no working” days: For example, I took Mondays, and then Fridays, out of my coaching calendar back when I was doing 1:1 work. That allowed me to batch my coaching sessions and left space for creativity (or even a sneaky movie date) on the other days.
Get clear on your working hours. I used to get up at 5am to coach international clients. It wasn’t good for me – or them – because I wasn’t at my best. It’s okay to say no if an arrangement doesn’t work for you. Plus, if you work too late at your computer, it can have a knock-on effect on your sleep. Clock off and stay off.
Implement boundaries with your clients. Tell them when they can reasonably expect a response from you and wean them off instant gratification.
Invest in some help. Hire your first assistant and actually get them to do things for you! Start with whatever tasks stress you out the most, and give yourself permission to do the work that feels good.
Lastly, upgrade your lady mafia: surround yourself with women who are kind to themselves and who will inspire you to treat yourself like the Lucky Bee you are.

It’s your time and you’re ready for the next step.

Denise 

Xx

I’d love to hear from you. What is a recent self-care practice that has helped your business grow?

3 Steps to Stop People Pleasing and Create Better Boundaries

Hey gorgeous, 

I’m back with a healthy boundaries prescription for you that you can start using straight away to create a better life.

First of all, I want you to consider are you saying YES to everyone else but saying NO to yourself? Learn how to set healthy boundaries and how to STOP saying yes and take care of yourself. This is a BIG challenge for many female entrepreneurs.

Why the hell do we say yes, when we really mean NO?

Back when I started out, not only was I a chronic YES girl, I actually wore it on a chain around my neck. I would say yes before I even knew what I was committing to. I said yes to people and things that made me really unhappy.

So many women are doing the exact same thing, for various reasons… to avoid hurting other people’s feelings, so people don’t think you’re a bitch, to keep the peace… etc.

Here’s my prescription for getting out of the people pleasing trap.

STEP 1. Decide when YOU want to work.

    Do you want to do evenings and weekends… or not?
    What’s the earliest or latest you’re happiest with working?
    When do you work best?
    Can you take off a whole day completely from client work?

It’s okay to have your business be exactly the way you want it. There are MORE than enough clients out there for you.

STEP 2: Create a new policy and inform your clients about it.

Just make a simple announcement on your website or newsletter:

“From 1st Oct, opening hours are X Y Z.”

No apologies or over-explaining (it’s your business after-all) and no need to beg for understanding. Just give them notice (anything up to a month is fine) and that’s the end of it. Remember, people make time for dentist and doctor appointments. You don’t have to be super convenient for everyone.

I know the fear is that you’ll lose all your clients, but trust me – that won’t happen. You might even free up time and energy to write a book, create some programs that don’t require your time or have energy for some well-defined pro-bono work.

STEP 3: Enforce the new boundary.

People will try and push the new boundary, “Can you make an exception for me, pretty please?“. Trust me. It will happen within 24 hours of you mentally and emotionally making the decision. I bet you ten bucks.

And seriously, the first time you enforce it, you’ll feel like the biggest bitch in the world, but stick to your guns and you’ll feel amazing.

What’s the Energy Behind Being ‘Too Available’?

Here’s something to think about – I used to offer my clients up to 55 different slots a week. I had maybe 10-15 clients a week which was my idea of a happy workload. So, I was just trying to be accommodating by offering them appointments anytime from 7am-6pm five days a week. (I stopped offering my 5am offering but 7am appointments still sucked).

One client said that seeing so many available appointments on my calendar made her think, “Hmmm, maybe Denise isn’t doing so well”.

Being too accommodating can backfire as well as making you stressed.

However, work through these three steps and I promise you’ll start to feel better, your relationships and communication skills will improve and you’ll be making more money.

It’s your time and you’re ready for the next step.

Denise xx

I’d love to hear from you. Tell me what are you saying YES to that you really don’t want to do? Where are you saying NO to yourself?

Stop Wasting Energy – Set Boundaries in Your Business Today

Hello gorgeous, 

Do you need better boundaries? You’re not alone!

Boundary problems are so common for female entrepreneurs and they can destroy your business. Setting boundaries is challenging; you can feel like a bitch for having them and people will certainly push against them!

Are you suffering from…

    Clients not paying
    Discounting clients
    Bartering or working for free
    Not earning what you think you’re worth?

All of these SUCK right? 

Let’s look at some ways to get free of the unhealthy boundary trap.

When you get a handle on creating healthy boundaries and design your life to make YOU happy first and foremost, you’ll actually start to make more money and enjoy your life and business again.

Create a Better Life

When you really get this lesson, you’ll see that having strong boundaries is actually the most loving and respectful thing you can do and one that will attract a better quality of clients, friends and other people into your life.

Let’s Get Started on Healthy Boundaries

Here’s an easy but symbolic act that I promise will make a BIG impact.

Set boundaries around your time.

When I first started in my business, I would coach people at 5am. It SUCKED big time and I wasn’t present with my clients or happy getting up at the crack of dawn. It made me grumpy and sleepy for the rest of the day.

Why did I do it? Because I thought that if I said no to my international clients, they wouldn’t book with me again. I wanted to be accommodating, even if it affected my quality of life.

My coach, Fabienne Fredrickson, told me that she has turned down many international clients because she refused to budge on her schedule. She told me;

“I am more important than money. They will find another coach who suits their needs better”.

And guess what? You will find more than enough clients that will work with your new and improved schedule, plus you’ll be WAY happier.

The Power of Saying No

It’s ok to protect your time by saying no. Have you noticed that the people who demand most free help are the least gracious? And it’s ok, we’ve all been there and acted from a place of people pleasing. When I first started out, I’d meet  potential clients for coffee dates to give free advice and even end up paying for my coffee too!

For me one of my biggest lessons around setting boundaries with my time was to say no to certain clients and to be upfront that I wasn’t a substitute for therapy.

I coached ANYONE back then, including people who didn’t really have a business (or big goals), and kind of just wanted to vent or complain.

Not all of my clients were like this – most were amazing! But, because I was so cheap, I was a magnet for clients with huge money problems, or people who just wanted to win the lottery to get them out of a desperate situation. I also attracted a lot of people who just wanted to pick my brains.

I’m gonna say that again… Because I was cheap, I attracted more of the wrong sort of clients - people who weren’t ready to work with me.

Do This!

Setting boundaries around offering free advice needs to become a practice. 

The first time you do it, you’ll probably feel mean but put yourself in the other person’s shoes and consider what’s right for their highest good. If you have an excellent solution for them don’t get sucked into giving them a below par experience - let them sign up to and enjoy your full package. 

Or if they’re not a good fit for you and you don’t feel good about working with them, release them to work with someone who is a good fit.

Secret reveal… people who want to take advantage of you will never go away. The best thing you can do to protect your time is to establish better boundaries and direct brain pickers to the paid services you offer.

Here’s a few scripts you can use:

Great to hear from you… and great question! I can't answer questions about this course privately but if you ask it publicly in the group and tag me, everyone can benefit from my answer and you’ll get the community wisdom too!
Thanks so much for your message. It sounds as though you’re in a really challenging situation. My programme is perfectly designed for people in your circumstances and can help in the following ways (list benefits)
Thanks for reaching out. I can’t accommodate a meet up but I’d love to help you out. It sounds as though my mentoring package might be the perfect fit for you. Here are the details.

Or this one, which I love because it ties right in with my core values!

Thanks for your interest in meeting with me. Unfortunately I can’t because the time I don’t spend with clients is spent with my family.

What’s Your Energy Around Setting Boundaries?

Take a look to see if there’s a reason you’re attracting brain pickers or people who expect you to give your time for free.

Are you training people to get your valuable time for free by always being available and never saying no?

Know this - you’re 100% worth the money you charge!

It’s your time and you’re ready for the next step.

Denise xx

PS: I’d love to hear from you. Comment below (or hit reply) and tell me what is your biggest boundary you’re struggling with today?

7 Secrets to Working Less and Earning More

Follow these seven success habits and become a blissed-out Chillpreneur today!

Hey gorgeous,

Do you really believe it’s possible to work less and earn more? I am a recovering workaholic perfectionist and I’m here to show you that business doesn’t have to be hard. That YOU can get to a place where your business supports your dreams and doesn't burn you out. Here are seven success habits that you can start TODAY!

Hands up if you no longer want to:

Hustle
Crush it 
Work harder and longer for diminishing returns
Be at your desk from dawn to dusk every day
Have to do it all by yourself
Burn yourself out at the altar of your successful business

It’s time to learn the Chillpreneur way! 

If you’re super eager, secure your copy of my book here and get started straight away! 

Chillpreneur Success Habits

The opportunities available to us entrepreneurs right now are mind blowing. The internet gives us tools that are magical and life-changing. Starting your own business used to involve a lot of upfront capital or techy know how. Today, anyone can launch their own business from their bedroom! As long as you have internet access, you can sell glitter penis-grams from a tiny house in Nebraska or design websites on the beach in Tulum, Mexico.

Even though women (especially women of color) are the fastest growing group of entrepreneurs, we face a load of built-in obstacles. Women’s businesses aren’t always considered ‘real enterprises’. There’s a wage gap in the start-up world too. The biggest problem I see is that women are trying to fit their businesses into an old masculine model. 

I want to show you a new path. 

Seven Success Habits

Here are the seven steps to doing business the Chillpreneur way.

I wish I was perfect at all of these but they’re aspirational even for me. 

1)   Believe in an Abundant Universe

As a Chillpreneur you embrace an abundant mindset and KNOW there’s enough for everyone. This includes money, clients and opportunities. You know you’re as deserving as anyone else and that when you gain, it doesn’t mean that someone else loses.

2)   Remember You’re Human

Being chill doesn’t mean you’re like a Buddhist monk in your approach to life (although if you are - congrats!). We’re all perfectly imperfect and it’s ok to have days when you're decidedly unchill about everything. Practice self-compassion and forgiveness for your mistakes. And then move on!

3)   Be Optimistic

Look for the silver lining in everything. Failed launch? ‘We can learn so much from this for next time’. Tech screw up in the middle of a webinar? ‘Sweet, this is a juicy chapter for my next book!’ Every experience is useful and nothing is wasted. In fact, failures are great fodder for podcasts, blog posts and future Oprah interviews. Check out the lessons I’ve learnt from failing to value my time (and over-delivering by giving away earrings!

4)    Practice Detachment

As a Chillpreneur you know that a client’s no doesn't mean you’re terrible at your business. Setbacks just mean you need to try again. You can genuinely and passionately care about your work and still hold it lightly. This includes your reaction to sales numbers, client results and feedback from others. 

5)   Just Do It

You know there are many paths to success. Why spend days, months, years debating which path to take when you can just get started on your journey? As a Chillpreneur you know that imperfect action is better than inaction. Make the best decision for now and tweak as you go. 

6)   Follow the Path of Least Resistance

Try to find the most comfortable path - even when it feels lazy or too obvious. You don’t need to reinvent the wheel to prove yourself to your friends, parents or even that high school teacher! You know that ease and for are different for everyone so you honor your strengths and weaknesses and don’t copy someone else’s version of success. Read my tips on the easiest way to make money (and how I wanted to start a toilet hook business!) over on my blog.

7)   Do Good in the World

Chillpreneurs strive for mutual success. You don’t think that making money is evil (or if you do, you’re working on your blocks!) because you know that it allows you to do good in the world. You build philanthropy, self care and sustainable practices into your business for the sake of your clients, your team, yourself and the planet. You’re in business to make a lot of money and help a lot of people. You’re one of the good guys.

Remember these are suggestions, not commandments. It’s a practice! I’m still in my chillprenticeship; I’m no Jedi master. I still have to practice this stuff every day. 

Just know that you don’t have to sacrifice your adrenals, your marriage, or your sleep to create success in your life. I want you to learn from my mistakes so that you don’t fall into the same traps. 

To finish up, take a deep breath and repeat my favorite mantra “It’s my time and I’m ready for the next step.” 

To take the next step towards a business that supports you click here and buy my book, Chillpreneur – for TODAY only, the book is available for $1.99.

I promise the journey will be fun and profitable.

Denise xx

P.S. If you can’t purchase through Amazon please Google “Chillpreneur ebook” to find the best retailer for you. 

Also please note that eBook retailers display prices differently based upon where you are in the world – e.g. where customers in the USA visiting Amazon.com see $1.99, customers outside the USA will see a price converted to their own currency. 

If you have read Chillpreneur please jump over to Amazon and drop a review - thank you!

Pricing Mistake 4: Taking ‘You’re Too Expensive’ Personally

Hey gorgeous,

I'm Denise Duffield-Thomas, money mindset mentor, author and founder of The Money Bootcamp.

Today we’re talking pricing and another one of the big mistakes I see entrepreneurs make - taking it personally when someone says you're expensive.

A tenet of the Chillpreneur philosophy is to “take nothing personally.“

You have to give up the illusion that there’s a perfect price and that you can avoid criticism when you find it.

You can't please everyone.

It feels horrible when you have the perfect solution for clients but they tell you flat-out that they can’t afford it.

That’s when women feel shame around their pricing, decide they’re being too greedy, and give discounts or concessions to fit into a potential client’s budget.

But “expensive“ is a relative term: Something that one person sees as obscenely expensive can seem dirt-cheap to someone else.

Nowadays, I’m much more chill about hearing someone say I’m too expensive because I know I’m just out of their budget at that particular moment.

It also might mean they can afford it but just don’t want to spend the money.

Or that I need to do some work on my sales page to better showcase my value.

You’ll see people say no to your very reasonable quote because they “can’t afford it“ and then see them spend money on something totally ridiculous the next week.

It’s not your business what people value or spend money on, and you don’t have to change your pricing to meet their financial expectations.

It’s just a mismatch of budget, money mindset, or values—not a moral failing on your part.

Your pricing is not a literal translation of your value as a human being. Money is just money. A price is just a price.

Having said that, yes, you can price too high.

That might sound weird coming from a money mindset mentor, but I don’t want to BS you.

For example: You can price too high for your ideal client.

If you’ve consciously chosen a target market that’s on a low or fixed income, your prospective clients probably won’t have the money to pay premium rates.

They’re likely to be too busy just trying to make ends meet.

So, it’s a trade-off.

A lot of women confuse their business with their charitable giving because they want so much to help a particular type of person.

There’s nothing wrong with that.

But you have to be the right match price-wise with your target client, and you have to have the right business model to support it.

You can also set your price too high for your client’s business level.

I don’t often recommend that brand-new entrepreneurs work with super-high-end coaches because they’re rarely in a place to get immediate value for their money.

For example, I’ve seen newbies get flustered when they receive advice about how to up-level their business or create high-end branding when they don’t even have the basics in place.

It’s okay to work with someone in line with where they’re at.

I once invested $7,000 for an intimate group business day with a high- end coach.

Half the room thought it was worth the money, and the other half felt like it was a big rip-off.

What was the difference? Half were six-figure business owners and the rest had million-dollar businesses.

We all heard the same advice, but it was mostly applicable to the million-dollar half of the room.

Not because we were smarter (far from it).

It’s just that, at that point in our business journey, the advice we received was more useful to us and had a quicker return on investment.

We got the same information, we paid the same price, but we experienced completely different value.

What do you think when someone is “cheap? “And remember, cheap is relative.

What you consider cheap might feel expensive to someone else and vice versa.

When people’s prices seem too low, we often think they’re just starting out or are inexperienced in business.

I know I do.

Are you giving that perception with your current prices?

Do they make you look like a beginner? Or someone who is insecure about their worth?

When people charge too little, it doesn’t automatically mean they’re inexperienced or bad at what they do, but it makes me second-guess working with them because I’m often suspicious of their price and the value I’ll get in return, especially when I know that it often indicates unresolved money blocks.

In my experience, that causes problems for me, like the supplier being slow to invoice (even when asked repeatedly), they will often over-deliver in a way that’s not always useful (like taking longer to complete work) or be timid in taking charge because they aren’t in their true power.

I can feel their money “stuff” leaking into every interaction and it makes me feel uncomfortable, or even like I should coach them, when I want them to take care of me.

As someone with money to spend, I want to work with people who have clean and clear money boundaries, and who don’t buy in to a power dynamic just because I earn more money than they do.

I’m coming to them because of their expertise and how they can help me, not so I can help them.

Quite simply: I like working with people who have worked on their money blocks!

That doesn’t mean they are perfect, but I can tell the difference.

Judging a service by its price doesn’t make you a snooty bitch, by the way.

Recently, we were purchasing a flight for my mother, so she could join us on vacation, and between the two major airlines, there was a $1,000 price difference. No problem, right? Go with the cheaper one.

Not me! I was too suspicious of the price and kept questioning Mark, “Why is it so cheap? Is it an old plane? Is it a terrible seat? Is there a layover?

Why? Why?“ I couldn't figure it out, and it made me not want to buy it because I assumed there would be some horrible catch down the road.

In my experience, when something is suspiciously cheap, it’s usually for a reason!

Whether you're just starting out or an established professional, you don't want to offer the cheapest services in your industry.

If clients say, “You’re so cheap!“ or refer others to you by emphasizing your low prices, take it as a sign that people have a different perception than you do around your worth.

It’s not necessarily a compliment!

Now, let’s look at the flip side.

What do you think when you see someone with “expensive“ pricing?

She must be really good and worth the money!

I’m not saying this is true or fair, but that’s the reality of pricing psychology.

A higher price often gives the perception of experience, mastery, skill, confidence, and higher self-worth.

Here’s another reaction to high pricing:

That’s not for me. Does it feel unfair, exploitative, or exclusionary?

Pricing yourself out of someone’s budget or comfort zone doesn’t make you greedy. It’s okay for those people to be served by someone else.

And it’s okay that some people have to save up to work with you.

Do you remember wanting something that was financially out of your reach?

You felt a sense of accomplishment when you could finally afford it.

Why rob potential clients of the sense of triumph they might feel when they can work with you?

I’m definitely not advocating price gouging.

Most women can tell the difference between knowing their worth and being flat-out evil.

Shitty, unethical people are usually shitty and unethical in all areas of their lives.

That’s not you.

It’s not evil or manipulative to make a significant living from your business—not only to put food on the table for your kids, but also to have enough money to live an extraordinary life.

Because, unlike greedy people I know you’ll do great things with your wealth.

Remember, there’s no magical critic-proof price, which is why the Goldilocks pricing method is so personal.

Even if you undercharge, someone will ask why you’re not serving clients for free—guaranteed!

Don't be offended; it's just a business rite of passage.

People will ask you to lower your prices, no matter how low they are to start with, and it’s okay to say no. I’ve heard this so many times.

An entrepreneur agonizes over the price and finally quotes what she thinks is a low but reasonable proposal and the response comes back “too expensive.“

Those people aren’t your customers.

One of my Money Bootcampers, Ingrid Tuffin, got an email from a prospective client saying, “We have received your proposal. Your price seems high for this job. Would you like to amend your quote?“

She simply wrote back, “No.“ We cheered her on!

Make sure you’re surrounding yourself with people who believe in charging what you’re worth, otherwise, you’ll constantly second-guess yourself.

Every time I’ve set my prices, I’ve had completely opposite reactions to the same amount.

Even on the same day I’ve heard, “That’s too expensive.“ and “Wow, that’s great value!“ Who would you rather serve?

I’m not saying you can just sell a bag of horse poo for $10,000.

But, if you’re giving good results for $10,000, and it’s appropriate for someone to pay that because they’ll get a great return on that investment, charge the ten grand.

With pride.

Then wait for somebody who says, “Oh, is that all? What a bargain!“

That’s the truth about pricing.

There will always be someone who thinks it’s too expensive, and there will always be someone who thinks it’s a great deal.

You’re not required to serve everyone, and many aren’t going to be a match for your services or pricing.

You don’t have to convince them.

You won’t get your pricing exactly right the first or the hundredth time.

So, try not to worry about what other people say or think.

Chill out and just pick a price.

I can’t tell you want to charge, but I can help you make sure your money blocks don’t sabotage your pricing and receiving.

If you want my help to clear your money blocks, grab my free workshop all about the seven most common blocks.

Go to DeniseDT.com/Blocks and watch it today

Remember, It’s okay to be expensive for some people.

It’s your time and you’re ready for the next step.

Denise xx

Pricing Mistake 3: Working for Free

Hey gorgeous,

I'm Denise Duffield-Thomas, money mindset mentor, author and founder of The Money Bootcamp.

Over the last decade my books, courses and events have helped hundreds of thousands of entrepreneurs like you to release your money blocks and earn the money you deserve.

Today we’re talking pricing and one of the big mistakes I see entrepreneurs make when setting their prices - working for free for too long.

One of the most symbolic milestones of your business journey is graduating from free to paid work.

For many, it feels like a leap too far, which is why otherwise talented entrepreneurs get stuck in their day jobs for way too long.

I very deliberately use the word “graduating“ when it comes to charging for your work because it should be a natural progression, like graduating from an unpaid internship into an actual paid job.

Real talk: Graduating from being a moonlighter (or hobbyist) to being a full-time entrepreneur requires you to actually charge people money!

At some point, you just have to decide that you’re ready and that, even if you never believe you’re good enough, you’re going to move forward.

The Chillpreneur way is realizing that your imperfection is perfect.

Because you’ll never feel ready, have enough testimonials, feel validated enough, or be free of doubts about whether you’re good enough.

That’s not going to change.

That’s the inner work you need to do, not the actual hard work and hustle.

Now, there’s a difference between working for free and intentional volunteer work.

It’s healthy and generous to build some philanthropy into your business, whether you’re giving time or money.

But know the difference.

Philanthropy usually feels good and has no other motive other than giving back.

If you’re being exploited, you’ll feel out of alignment.

Beyond philanthropy, you might decide to work for free strategically, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Valid reasons include:

Gaining valuable experience
Promoting your work
As a sales strategy
To gain exposure to your target market

Gaining Valuable Experience

Maybe you’re working toward a certification and need to log client hours to get certified.

Or you need testimonials for your website, test cases for your portfolio, or case studies for your blog.

In that case, working for free is the quickest way to achieve your goal. It’s totally fine: Get ‘em booked ASAP!

Just decide in advance how many clients you'll take on for experience purposes and cap it at that. You don’t need to live in apprentice mode forever.

You’re allowed to earn while you learn.

Promoting Your Work

Most businesses can find a way to let customers “try before they buy.“

For example, if you’ve got a book or a course, you can give away a chapter or some lessons for free and finish with, “If you liked this, here’s where you can buy the full version.“

Don’t forget to make the payment link really obvious. You don’t want to make people work to give you money.

As a Sales Strategy

People understandably want to see if there’s an energy fit before they commit to working with you, so doing a small (emphasis on small) amount of work for free can be an awesome sales strategy.

A lot of different service-based businesses can do this.

You could offer “mini makeovers“ for a web page (not the whole website), a free critique of a sales page, or copywriting feedback.

This isn’t working for free, and you have to be clear that it’s a taster or trial to see if working together is a win-win.

To Get in Front of Your Target Market

I do several interviews on podcasts a week, just to get in front of my target market. It’s totally a win-win situation.

However, nowadays I’m more selective about what I say yes to. It has to be a good fit, and it has to be a sizable audience.

I’ve done my apprenticeship and have been interviewed for a blog with five followers, but I’ve since graduated to blogs with a bigger reach.

When you’re starting out, say yes to almost every opportunity for the experience, and then become more discerning as you go on.

You’ll figure out what to say no to over time.

What About Speaking for Free?

I get asked to speak for free all the time, not just at local events in my hometown (which is an automatic no because I like to keep home and work separate geographically) but at events in different states and countries by organizers with zero budget.

Some thought “no harm in asking“ just in case I happened to be in their neighborhood on the other side of the world at the exact time and date of their event.

Um, no thank you. There’s a 100 percent chance I’m going to decline that “opportunity.“

Back in the blissful, carefree days before I had kids, I traveled around the world attending conferences all the time, so it was no big deal if I spoke at an event I would have paid for anyway. Why not?

After I had kids, I started adding up the true cost of speaking for free.

Most conference organizers booked the cheapest flight available, so I had to pay extra to check a bag or have more legroom, and they didn’t always pay for a taxi to the venue.

You’d be surprised how many organizers don’t provide food for speakers, so there are meals, snacks, and beverages to pay for.

There are also internet costs at the hotel plus tipping everyone from waiters to bellboys to taxi drivers.

To feel confident enough to perform well, I needed to look my best, so I usually have my hair and nails done.

And, now that I have kids, there’s the additional cost of childcare and the indirect cost of being away from my family.

Like many mothers, I feel obligated to make up that time with Mark and the kids when I return.

Then there’s prep time. All the “brain power“ invested in speaking for free comes at the cost of developing my own income-producing assets.

As an introvert, I also have to factor in recovery time.

Putting on a bra and Spanx to leave my house and be in a room full of hundreds of people can wipe me out for hours and sometimes days at a time!

If you don’t value your time, neither will others.

Let’s face it though: It’s wonderful to occasionally sleep through the night without my kids waking me up.

And I can be incredibly productive sitting in a quiet hotel room working on my book (which is where I’m writing this chapter).

I have a friend who gladly speaks for free as long as there’s a bathtub in the hotel room, so she can buy a magazine and soak for as long as she wants.

For her, that makes speaking for free worthwhile.

But get honest with yourself and calculate your costs: all of them.

Then you can decide if it’s worth doing.

Sometimes it is! Sometimes speaking for free is worth it if the audience is your target market and if enough potential clients are going to be there to make it worthwhile.

I’ve noticed that, when I’m speaking to the wrong crowd, it takes an enormous effort for me to “perform,“ and then I suffer for it later with a big integrity hangover that might take a few days to recover from.

I once got booked to do a cheap “inspirational“ keynote for a group of middle-management government workers.

I turned up in my sparkly blue caftan, talking about manifesting, and it was just the wrong crowd.

A few months later, I spoke for a few hundred bucks at a college “career day“ event and, again, I felt icky, like I had prostituted my talent for a tiny bit of money.

Don’t get guilted into speaking for free just because it’s a good cause or you feel like you should.

Appearance activist Carly Findlay often gets asked to speak for charities, provide disability awareness to organizations, and ironically, participate on panels to promote equality and women’s empowerment.

All for free.

After being asked to speak at a career day for disabled students at a for-profit educational institute (another irony), she wrote on her blog:
“No doubt they’d pay a consultant specializing in an area outside of disability.

No doubt the person running the event gets paid. For me, it’d mean an afternoon away from my day job, plus several hours preparing the presentation.“

When Carly said no, the organizer said she was disappointed (ouch, the D-word always stings), and that she should be “happy to donate her time“ because it was a worthy cause.

Carly says, “I believe the work that people like me and (other disability activists) do in educating people is important in facilitating change and improving access and inclusion, and it deserves compensation.

Our work is not to be given away for free.“

Melanie Ramiro, one of my Money Bootcampers (and someone I hired to coach me on speaking), advises having a personal quota for free events—say one per quarter.

When you’ve fulfilled that, it’s okay to say, “Sorry, I’ve reached my quota for pro-bono work this year.“

Many women have a seemingly unlimited capacity for giving, and they feel greedy if they expect something in return.

If this sounds like you, here are some tips that will help you “check yourself before you wreck yourself.“

Put clear boundaries around the scope of your giving.

If you’re giving away a certain amount of coaching or consulting hours, or designing a small website for someone, put it in writing, and when it’s done, it’s done.

If you’re speaking for free, don’t feel obligated to stay for the whole event. One keynote and you’re off the clock.

Don’t feel like you should market the event for free either – that can be part of your paid speaking package. 

Be clear about the expected reciprocity.

If you’re doing free work in exchange for a testimonial, professional pictures or video footage, make sure you follow up and actually get it.

You’d be surprised how often people overlook this because they don’t want to nag or bother others, even when they agreed to it up front, and did their fair share of the bargain. 

Make it worthwhile.

If you do pro-bono work, let the recipient know what your rate is going forward, and make an offer for further work.

If you’re a speaker, can you sell books or products at the back of the room? Can you use the time to meet up with some paid clients around the event?

It’s always okay to say “No, thank you.“ Working for free isn’t bad in itself: Just make sure you’re doing it intentionally and for strategic reasons—not because you feel bad about charging.

Be intentional about your free work and calculate what it actually costs you.

I can't tell you what to charge, but I can help make sure that your money blocks don't sabotage your pricing and income.

Grab my free workshop all about the the seven most common money blocks and how to clear them.

It's available at DeniseDT.com/Blocks

Watch it today.

It's your time and you're ready for the next step.

Denise x

Pricing Mistake 2: Undercharging and Overdelivering

Undercharging and overdelivering: Ah, what a classic combination!

Often, if charging is difficult for someone, when she finally does accept money, she'll feel compelled to over-give to the point where she might not make much money at all.

And even then, she’ll feel guilty!

I’ve done this often.

I’m Denise Duffield-Thomas, money mindset mentor, author and founder of The Money Bootcamp and today we’re talking pricing and one of the big mistakes I see entrepreneurs make when setting their prices - undercharging and overdelivering.

So picture this gorgeous: I was on stage leading a free workshop, and it was time for the “upsell.“

This is my least preferred way of selling, and I hate it, so I always overcompensate with the bonuses.

My offer was a one-day live workshop, teaching all my secrets of manifesting success, for $97.

I undercharged in the first place, but then I went one step further. In my desperation to offer value, I also threw in two 60-minute face-to-face bonus coaching sessions.

Crazy, awesome bargain, right? But I wasn't done. “If you decide today, you also get these bonus earrings.” Yes, earrings.

In my defense, they were cool earrings with “Love” written on them, and one of my manifesting tips is to wear affirmation jewelry, but it was a completely unnecessary bonus.

The $97 offer was good enough as it was!

Women came up and threw cash at me for the workshop, and why wouldn't they?

I was practically giving away the naming rights to my first-born child!

Hey, why don't I come over to your house and clean your toilet while I’m at it? Cook you dinner? It was like a bad infomercial.

But wait, there's more!

Of course, once I added up the costs for the event (including ones I forgot about, like buying new pens and magazines for the dream board segment), the cost of all those in-person bonus coaching sessions (parking, coffee, and the hassle of putting on a bra), plus those stupid earrings, I wasn't making much money at all, certainly not for all that effort.

And that, my friend, is the huge mistake that a lot of women make around pricing: Being over-generous to the point of self-sabotage.

Maybe we do it because we don't believe we're worth it without all the bribes, bells, and whistles.

We want people to like us, and we desperately want to help people make changes in their lives.

Here's the thing: What you offer is already amazing and life-changing. 
Read that again. Let it sink in.

Your work can stand alone without making you broke or making you resent your clients. Plus, you're allowed to make lots of juicy profit!

Almost every time I create a new product or event, I fight the urge to overdeliver.

We usually think it’s a good thing to give our clients more, but it's not.

A course stuffed to the gills with extra information becomes incredibly overwhelming and failure-inducing.

I know this because I've researched why refund requests were creeping up for my Money Bootcamp.

It turned out we had too many modules and too much bonus material.

People thought they had to complete it all and felt like failures before they even started.

When we reduced the amount of content, refund requests went down. Turns out less really is more!

Overgiving can disempower your clients.

For that reason, I don't recommend ever offering bonuses like unlimited email coaching if you're a service professional (it's a pain in the butt that really doesn't teach your clients self-reliance or boundaries).

And I don’t recommend adding premium services like face-to-face coaching unless you’re charging appropriately for it (your personal attention should always be your most expensive offering).

Overgiving can also be terrible for the environment.

Think of any corporate conference you've gone to. What have you done with all those branded stress balls and endless USB flash drives?

Landfill mostly, right?

I decided that I'm not going to add to that problem, which is why I rarely give away freebies at my conferences.

I’ve learned my lesson about creating overstuffed goodie bags, but it’s a widespread phenomenon.

Even when I went to a VIP Oprah event, there was random unnecessary junk in the gift bag.

As if Oprah herself wasn’t enough!

The same goes for over-delivering in terms of time.

Humans need time to integrate and apply information, so if you're a coach, and you're having monster three-hour sessions with your clients (unless it's a VIP day), you're probably overwhelming them with information, most of which they'll forget almost instantly.

When we try to jam our years of experience and knowledge into one session, it's often incredibly tiring and uncomfortable for clients.

They don't rebook because they want to implement everything from the last session (which is impossible).

So, over-delivering can ultimately derail your client. Again, less is more.

Guess what? Not only are you allowed to charge what you’re worth, you’re also allowed to make a healthy profit. Say what?!

I once bought a beautiful handmade soapstone jewelry box from a local bookshop for $14.

Fourteen dollars.

I said, “You know, I think these are underpriced.

Clearly, a lot of love goes into them.“ The owner said, “I know. My wife does an amazing job, but we’d rather be affordable for people.“

First up, “affordable“ is different for everyone, right?

Those soapstone boxes would still be a bargain at $25.

Plus, handmade items should be more expensive than mass-produced ones, and many people are happy to pay a premium for something that’s made by an actual human being.

I hate to think how little profit they made on those boxes, especially factoring in his wife’s time (which I suspect they aren't counting at all).

It’s a shame, because I bet she’ll give up, get discouraged, and lose her enthusiasm for the craft pretty quickly.

My friend, multi-millionaire entrepreneur Leonie Dawson, says, “When I sold handmade prints years ago, I forgot to include the full cost of postage and the special tube I was sending.

In the end, I lost $4 for every print I sold. It cost me money to be an artist! That profit number obviously didn’t sustain me.“

That’s an understatement, but what Leonie did was really common.

In fact, my first-ever business was selling handmade bracelets made of wetsuit remnants.

I bought the raw materials for two dollars and sold each bracelet for…two dollars.

Okay, I was nine, but still.

The thing is: I loved having a business.

I loved creating, and I even loved selling. It didn’t occur to me that I could also make money too!

My hubby was an entrepreneurial kid too.

He bought bulk packets of candy and then sold them individually for a profit.

From the outset, his goal was making money, while mine was about creating and selling for the joy of it.

For years, I thought that money and joy were mutually exclusive.

Women often feel guilty about making a good profit, especially on something that feels good, is easy for them, or is something that helps people transform their lives.

But that’s the whole point of being a Chillpreneur: It’s supposed to be easy and feel good.

So, make sure you’re adding up all the true costs of doing business—including your time and expertise—and make sure you’re actually making a profit! If you’re not, you have to increase your prices.

You’re even allowed to pay yourself a salary! I know, crazy, right?!

Paying yourself is incredibly symbolic.

Why? Because most of us will move heaven and earth to pay our suppliers and make sure they are taken care of.

In fact, I’ve been so stressed about not being able to pay an invoice on time that I went after more sales or chased down clients who defaulted on invoices I sent to them.

I hate letting other people down.

But guess who comes last?

Who works her ass off?

Who does the buck stop with?

You.

You deserve to get paid, and not with the leftover scraps.

There will never be any “spare“ money left over for you until you stop undercharging in the first place.

Charging appropriately is an act of self-care and self-love. It’s not greedy or unethical to charge well for what you do.

Money is a tool that helps women take care of their own needs and use their energy and resources to help others.

You might think you're doing people a favor by undercharging, but it rarely works out.

It can lead to burnout and resentment, and you won't have the energy and vitality you need to make a difference in the world. So, stop being cheap with yourself. It serves very few people, least of all you.

You are enough.

You might not believe that, yet, because it's so deeply ingrained.

But you are.

So the lesson is

You don’t need to bribe people to work with you.

And you’re allowed to make a healthy profit.

While I can’t tell you what to charge, I can help make sure that your money blocks don’t sabotage your pricing and your ability to receive.

I’ve got a free workshop all about identifying and clearing the seven most common money blocks.

Watch it today at DeniseDT.com/Blocks.

You deserve to be paid beautifully and when you set the right price your sending a powerful message to the universe that you’re ready to receive.

It’s your time and you’re ready for the next step.

Pricing Mistake 1: Pricing By Committee

A simple question that’s often difficult to answer for business owners is: “So, how much does it cost?“

When asked that, do you stammer, try to justify, or deflect the question?

I have, many times!

Now that I’m on the other side of it, I get impatient when a business owner clearly doesn’t want to tell me how much something costs.

Please, just tell me the price so I can pay it! It’s annoying!

I’m Denise Duffield-Thomas, money mindset mentor, author and founder of the Money Bootcamp and today we’re talking pricing and one of the big mistakes I see entrepreneurs make when setting their prices.

When I started out as a fledgling life coach, I was just as clueless about pricing as everyone else.

I had never had to think about it before—all of my previous jobs either had fixed day rates set by my boss (when I was a consultant) or were an internal cost to the company (when I was an event planner for a non-profit organization).

I didn’t like having salary conversations and never asked for a raise or bonus.

I took what I was offered (like a good girl) and never thought I was worth more.

When I decided to go into self-employment as a full-time life coach, it was suddenly my responsibility to assign a monetary value on my skills, and that was scary.

Too expensive would make it look as if I was too big for my britches, too cheap and I’d look inexperienced.

I wished someone would just tell me what to charge.

In working with thousands of women over the years, I’ve seen pricing patterns emerge among the mistakes they make and believe me, I’ve made them all too!

Knowledge is power, though, and if you’re aware of these mistakes, you can recognize them when they arise so they’re less likely to derail you.

The first big pricing mistake is Pricing by Committee

The worst thing you can do is ask other people what they think you should charge.

It’s an innocent mistake: As women, we think we’re being inclusive, collaborative, and harnessing the wisdom of others by asking them for their opinion.

But it’s a dangerous practice.

Here’s why: Every time you set your prices by committee, you’re taking on other people’s beliefs around money, regardless of their qualifications, experience, or money mindset.

Imagine that your money blocks are physical things— like rocks—and you have to carry them around in a backpack.

Obviously, the more money blocks you have, the harder you have to work just to go about your daily life.

When you crowdsource your pricing, you’re not just carrying your backpack of money blocks, you’re taking on everyone else's. It’s like carrying 50 backpacks at once!

Not all feedback is useful.

If you don’t believe me, try it yourself.

Go to your favorite business forum and ask a pricing question.

You’ll be astounded by the variety of responses. Everyone has a different perspective on “worth“ and “value.“

Before you pay any attention to what others say, ask yourself the following questions.

‘Are They My Target Audience?’

Taking advice from people who are nowhere near your target market, for example, your husband, uncle, or a random stranger, is a big mistake (don’t laugh, I’ve done this!).

I remember talking to a 50-something guy about my business at a networking event and, in a conversation about what I did, he said, “Wow. That sounds like you’re charging too much.“ I felt chastised and embarrassed because he was reflecting my own worst fears about my business and said, “Yeah, I think you’re right.“

This dude was the complete opposite of my target market, but I let his opinion sway one of my most important business decisions.

His opinion of my pricing could have been based on what his own target market could afford or on something more sinister, like an ingrained misogynistic view of what women are worth.

Either way, it was totally useless, but the interaction played on my mind for days.

He wasn’t my coach, and he wasn’t a pricing or marketing expert. He knew nothing about my business or target market.

He just made a snap decision based on what he “felt“ was too expensive, and I believed him!

His opinion was none of my business, so why was I soliciting it?

Why even have a money conversation with some generic dude or random stranger?

Honestly? Because I didn’t want to think about it.

I wanted someone else to tell me what to charge so I didn’t have to confront my fears about money.

I thought someone else would know better than me.

If you have a specific niche (and you definitely should), then how tightly do the people offering their opinions fit that profile?

For example: age, gender, geographical location, income level, stage of life, or business.

If your ideal target market is parents of newborns who have a healthy income, why would you take the opinion of a childless senior citizen or vice versa? It doesn’t make sense!

If you market to other business people, what stage of business are they in? What’s appropriate for a beginner to pay is entirely different from someone who’s financially successful in business.

Nobody knows more about your business than you do.

Nobody knows your target market’s hopes and dreams as well as you do.

And nobody is more deeply and emotionally connected to your business goals than you are.

Another question to ask yourself is;

‘Are They in The Market For What I Do?’

Until people actually need something, they don’t really know what they’d pay for it.

My Goddess, when I think of what I’ve paid for things, either because I needed them ASAP, or because I got excited about the results I was promised.

Literally hundreds of thousands of dollars by now! If you’d asked me what that product or service was worth beforehand, I probably would have vastly underestimated what I would’ve paid.

My budget is way more flexible than someone starting out in business and, to be honest, my time is worth more now, so I’m willing to pay to outsource to an expert.

I’ve always appreciated paying for professionals in my business, for example, copywriters, to help me with sales emails.

But I never considered paying a ton of money for copywriting until I needed to create 35 scripts in two weeks for a new course I was filming.

I procrastinated it until I had no choice.

I ended up paying four times my budget because I was suddenly in the market and needed it done ASAP!

It was totally worth it even though I had unrealistic expectations about what I should pay.

So, unless, the people giving you advice represent your target market and need you now, they won’t give you accurate or useful help at all.

If you need a ballpark figure, a better question to ask your business buddies would be, “What do you do, and how much have you paid for X?“

For example, “If you’ve been in business for at least two years, what did you pay for your website?“ or “Hey health coaches: What did you pay for your website photography?“

That way, you’re getting the advice of people who have put some money in the game, and it’s useful market research rather than confusing random opinions.

Asking Competitors or Peers

What about other people in your industry?

Should you ask them or sneak a look at their prices and place yourself accordingly?

Again, this isn’t even remotely helpful.

You might decide that the seniority (or popularity) of your peers means that you can’t charge as much as or more than they do.

I decided at the start of my business that I didn’t deserve to charge as much or more than established coaches who were decades older than me, regardless of their skill level.

Maybe you’re judging yourself against the “popular girls“ in your industry and think that social media follows mean superior experience.

Now, that sounds reasonable on the surface, but I was discounting my years of adjacent coaching and mentoring experience, of which I had plenty—both in jobs and as a volunteer.

In my own mind, that didn’t “count,“ and I told myself I needed to start at the bottom of the ladder.

Longevity doesn’t always mean you’re great at your job. I know lots of “experienced“ coaches whose skills have been stagnant for years and, frankly, aren’t that great. Maybe you know those types too?
Plus, look at professions like social media management.

A long career in that field isn’t even possible since technology changes so quickly. In a case like that, results and knowledge are just as valuable as experience.

Lastly, your industry might have massive money blocks (the alternative healing professions come to mind) so remember, when you’re averaging out the competition, you’re basing your income potential on collective insecurities and industry myths.

Money coach Kendall Summerhawk says it best; “Don’t base your net-worth on someone else's self-worth.“

So, if you can’t survey your audience (or a rando guy down the street), and if you can’t sneak a look at what your competitors are charging, what’s a Chillpreneur to do?

The simple answer is: You have to trust in your own wisdom and set your own prices.

Nobody is going to do that for you. Just pick a price and try it out.

The truth is that what you charge is entirely personal and not as black and white as you’d think.

You’re looking for the “Goldilocks sweet spot,“ which is the just right price for you, regardless of what other people charge.

In an interview that I conducted with author Danielle LaPorte, she called this being “comfortable in your money shoes.“

It has to be the right fit.

Too big price-wise and you’ll feel like a fraud, like you’re a little girl playing dress-up in your mama’s high heels.

But wearing too-tight money shoes that you’ve outgrown (prices that are too small) is incredibly uncomfortable too.

You have to feel as if you’re in alignment and in integrity with your rates, and only you can decide what that is for your business.

Sorry!

While I can’t tell you what to charge, I can help make sure that your money blocks don’t sabotage your pricing and your ability to receive.

I’ve got a free workshop all about identifying and clearing the seven most common money blocks.

Watch it today at DeniseDT.com/Blocks

You deserve to be paid beautifully and when you set the right price your sending a powerful message to the universe that you’re ready to receive.

It’s your time and you’re ready for the next step.

Millionaire Mindset Lesson #2 - There Are Easier Ways To Make Money

Hi gorgeous, I'm Denise Duffield-Thomas, money mindset mentor, author and founder of The Money Bootcamp. As you might know, I teach money mindset and clearing your money blocks so you can live a first class life.

Today I’m sharing another one of my key Chillpreneur Millionaire mindset lessons.

Becoming a millionaire doesn’t really make you special or clever, but the truth is that my biggest secret for becoming one is focusing on some very specific mindset upgrades.

So here’s todays lesson… There Are Easier Ways To Make Money

When I was a teenager, I heard about a nationwide competition to win a new car. The catch was that you had to live in it with four other people. The person who stayed in the car the longest got to keep it. You got a bathroom break every two hours and could order any fast food you wanted, but all the rubbish had to stay in the car, and you had to sleep in it. No showers either. You stayed in it until you couldn’t handle it anymore.

The car visited my local shopping mall as part of the promotion. It was before reality shows became a big thing on TV, so I was excited to check it out.

By then, the contest had been going on for two weeks already, and they were down to four determined (and very smelly) contestants.

People lined up to take turns gawking in the window at these poor people who were sitting in their own filth wanting to win the car.

I think about that competition often because, first of all, who wants a car after it’s been lived in like that, and second, there are easier ways to get a new car. Just buy one!

Because I teach manifestation, often people ask me how they can win a competition to go on holidays or win a house through a raffle and I think – just work on your business and buy what you want.

That counts too! You don’t always have to win things.

Seth Godin famously said, “When in doubt, raise money from your customers by selling them something they truly need – your product.”

So - I'm telling you - if there's something you want... Go get more clients and buy what you want.

Now that sounds easier said than done - but there are ALWAYS more clients out there for you.

And - There are easier ways to make money.

I say this all the time when I find myself doing the opposite: overcomplicating things, pursuing an idea that’s not exactly in my zone of genius, or otherwise making things harder for myself. Maybe you do the same.

In the pursuit of the entrepreneurial dream, we often take the hardest route. That’s why a lot of my early businesses failed—not because the ideas weren’t good, but because they felt hard for me, and I just wanted the outcome (the money). I didn’t care about the business at all.

And sometimes, I pursued a good idea that wasn’t really a natural fit for me.

For example, I almost started a business about toilet hooks. Years ago, when I was still desperately looking for my “thing” (otherwise known as a calling or purpose), I read a book that said, “Solve a problem that you’re passionate about.”

I was passionate about a lot of things, but want to know what was really pissing me off at the time? The lack of hooks in public bathroom stalls. Every time I went into a public restroom, I’d get frazzled about where to put my giant coat, hat, scarf, and gloves (I lived in London at the time and wore lots of layers), not to mention the enormous bag that I carried around.

I read a study at the time about how dirty people’s purses were. Of the 145 purses that researchers swabbed, 138 were contaminated with bacteria such as strep and E coli. Why? Because their owners put them on restroom and other floors (eew), which spread disease in homes and corporate workplaces.

Wow, I thought. This is my cause! It seemed perfect for my pedantic, Virgo, fastidious ways. Plus, complaining seemed to channel my energy into changing things for the better.

So, to market my new “toilet hook” business, I thought I’d start with a name-and-shame letter campaign to businesses, and then progress to an app where I’d have a map of all the “Denise-approved” restrooms where adequate hooks were provided.

Women would thank me in droves. Fewer employees would be calling in sick. Productivity would improve. It was life-changing stuff! I was outraged about this issue. Outraged!

I had no idea how to monetize it (that didn’t seem to matter), but it was obviously something that was needed in the world, and I was the girl to do it. So, I enthusiastically told a friend about the idea. He listened to my entire rant (The germs! The inconsideration!), and when I finished, he calmly said, “Why don’t you carry around a bag of stick-on hooks, and when you’re in a bathroom without one, just stick one on.”

Mind blown. It was just so … Zen. In an instant, this guy wiped my “brilliant business idea” off the map. I sat looking at him dumbfounded. “But what am I supposed to do with my life?” I asked.

I seriously thought that my entrepreneurial dreams were dead. “Denise, you’re a storyteller,” he said. “Tell stories.”

So that’s what I do. I tell stories on my blog. I speak on stages. I write books. I basically make a living by telling random stories and inspiring women to create the life they want. It’s so much easier than being the “Toilet Hook Queen.”

I’m so grateful to him. Because, instead of rolling his eyes at my dumb business idea, he could see that underneath my “toilet problem” was a real desire to change the world.

It was such a relief to hear that I didn’t have to solve everything and that my real gift was telling stories and inspiring others to find their passion. It was a massive weight off my shoulders.

I thought aligning myself with a simple, annoying problem would be great. But it was the wrong problem. It’s so tempting to try and solve all the problems you encounter and to turn every emerging passion into a business!

At networking events, people sometimes tell me about their latest business idea, and I just want to interrupt and say “Honey, that sounds way too hard. There are easier ways to make money!”

Maybe you’re overcomplicating things; maybe you’re going into the wrong industry, trying to help the wrong people, or pursuing a business that’s simply the wrong fit for your skills and talents. There is a path of least resistance; you just have to find it.

Just remember: You don’t have to pursue random business ideas. You don’t have to buy all the catchy domain names. It’s okay to just let hobbies be hobbies (in fact, turning a hobby into a business can take the joy right out of it).

You can be an activist for change without turning your activism into a business.

If you don’t solve a problem, don’t worry, someone else will—you can count on it.

Other people created products like Loo Hooks, Hero Clips, and Bagnets to deal with the toilet hook problem. Thanks to them, I’m not trapped talking about toilet hooks for the rest of my life.

You’ll have to learn this lesson over and over.

When I first had a baby, I got pissed all over again that there aren’t enough baby changing facilities in the world, and airport restrooms were obviously designed by men who had never seen—let alone changed—a baby, but again: not my fight. Not my calling and definitely not my business! There are easier ways to make money!

Deciding not to pursue an idea doesn’t mean it isn’t important to you. You can: Care about something deeply, sign a petition, or make a donation, but not make it your business. Contribute toward someone else’s crowd-funding campaign without making it your business. Write a letter to your local newspaper, but not make it your business. Have a really fantastic business idea without making it your business

Saying no to a good idea is a hard lesson to learn, but if you don’t, you can’t focus on your real purpose.

I wasn’t put on this Earth to revolutionize toilet hooks.

There are easier ways to make money than to: Follow a path that’s not yours

Work with people you can’t really help, even though you think you should
Solve a problem that someone else can solve

There are easier ways to make money. If you want to hear more, pick up my book Chillpreneur from any good bookshop 

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