L. Krystalina Soash's Blog: Your Positive Potential, page 4

Compromise in my Relationship? Hmm...

Sometimes in life it's a whole lot easier to compromise and keep a healthy relationship than to get what we want and lose a valuable loving friend, spouse, partner, or significant other.



Before we talk further about compromising, let's first define the term compromise. .



Compromise in this context means to settle a difference between two individuals or parties involved. It means to agree and settle for less than what we originally desired. Healthy relationships function very well when it comes to compromising, that is, on the condition that we realize that we can't always get exactly what we want.



Oh well, that's life!



It's very true that compromise may be a difficult thing to do for some of us but if we're open-minded and see things from another person's perspective, we'll see a different point of view we might not otherwise see.



AHA! But...



What happens if someone wants to compromise but doesn't know what to expect? Worse yet, what if someone wants out of a compromise after saying okay? Wanting out of a compromise can most definitely cause very ill-feelings among those involved. In an effort to better understand what a compromise involves let's consider the following points before committing to a compromise in a relationship.



(A) Compromising means agreeing to keep the end of your bargain in settling a situation. Your word carries a lot of weight when it comes to trust. In order for this compromise to succeed you must be willing to say what you mean and mean what you say. You are either in the compromise or you are not.



(B) Compromising means not complaining later that you didn't get what you wanted originally. When things get a little hairy, and they will, you must remember not to complain about what you really wanted and didn't get. This behavior causes very uncomfortable feelings between both parties involved.



(C) Compromising means committing from the heart with good intentions. When you agree to settle an issue, do it with sincerity realizing that you're not the only one giving up your entire wish, do it knowing that the other person is also willing to give up part of their desire for you.



Following are three everyday examples of compromising in a relationship:



(1) Your husband wants you to fly out with him to California for his PowerPoint presentation, but you're afraid of flying. He compromises by turning his flying time into driving time, so you both agree to take turns driving and go sight-seeing along the way.



(2) Your partner is an awesome cook and you really feel like having spaghetti and meatballs for dinner, but your partner is tired after a stressful day and doesn't feel like cooking. You compromise by ordering 'spaghetti and meatballs to go'.



(3) You want to build a fully solar-paneled home, but your significant other needs to have access to electrical devices for his or her business. You compromise by combining both desired features by having partial solar-paneling and partial electrical outlets in specified parts of your home.



Compromising is a wise choice for relationships in the long run, it's a whole lot easier to compromise and keep a healthy relationship than to get exactly what we want and lose a valuable loving friendship, spouse, partner, or significant other.



Here's to OUR successful and fulfilling relationships!



Writinghood

Is Your Day a Rehearsed Script?

Yep, It's True...



We're surrounded by many clichés that sound as if they apply only to rehearsed scripts, but what about real life situations? Well, seriously, some of these clichés may appear to fall in the category of 'easier said than done,' but are they do-able!



Let's find out. Following are some hilariously funny things you can do next time you get upset and you just know you'll get in trouble if you lose your temper. Are you ready, here we go?



1. Breath! Remember to breathe so you can get the much needed oxygen to your brain and don't do something you'll regret. For some inexplicable reason you seem to forget how to breathe when you're in an emotional state of upheaval, in this example, angry. Your body will do things you don't even realize it is doing. Have you ever looked at someone who is about to throw an angry fit? I mean seconds before the mouth opens, really angry and not saying a word, there is no breath exchange in their lungs. Do they know it? Probably not, because their body is simply reacting to the emotional state of being angry.



2. Blink! Remember to blink, or at least make an attempt to blink. Not blinking is another interesting and inexplicable body reaction to anger. Notice how some people will give you that icy glare before the mouth opens to shout out those 'not very nice words'. Give it a try, blink as soon as the thought to blink crosses your mind.



3. Smile! Remember to smile, Ha-Ha, what a task! This specific facial distortion, called a smile, goes against those irritating and irrational feelings you may be experiencing while having your angry fit. But will give you the most results, rephrased, will give you the best results. Have you ever tried to smile when you're angry? Try it. It will cause you to laugh. It's a very difficult task but very doable. You emotions will change in a heartbeat. You'll even get the giggles, you silly person you!



Okay, here's the drill in a nutshell for the next time someone cuts in front of you, or if you can't find your car keys, or even if someone takes your parking spot...



1. Breathe

2. Blink

3. Smile



And have a great day!



Writinghood

No Chocolate Trees Here...

It seems a very strange thing to say but wanting to feel good is behind self destructive behavior. Feeling good is natural to us and when we don't feel good we will do whatever it takes to feel good again. In short, we self-destruct because we want to feel good.



The problem is that the quick fix we choose makes us feel even worse after the short-term high. It's dysfunctional because it doesn't work. Self destructive behavior only makes things worse but it's the way we're wired…



In nature we couldn't fall into this trap. There are no pizza trees, no ice-cream or chocolate trees.



There are no rivers of vodka :-)



So what can you do to feel good yet make healthy choices?



Click here for a healthy habit guide :)



Choose healthy,



~Writinghood

Oh, How I Wish...

Do you ever find yourself saying, "Oh, I wish I had this or I wish I had that"? I wish, I wish, I wish… I've done it myself and the only way I became aware of it was because someone pointed out to me that I was wasting too much time on wishing and not enough time on doing.



Wishing is okay, it's like eating and grooming, however, to obsess over any thing is not a healthy choice. Wishing can plant the seed for a good idea but it's the action that makes things happen.



Have you really thought about what the word wish means? It means: to want, to desire, to long for; to make a request. Wishing always puts you into the future. It's always way out there. Life seems so incomplete without possession of those wishes. But, what about the right here right now?



Following are three ways that can help you stop wishing and take action towards what you really want. That feeling of completeness!



1. Be grateful for what you have. Be grateful for the sunshine, the rain, the clouds, the grass, the trees, the flowers, oh yes, indoor plumbing! I grew up with an outhouse.



2. Share of your time, energy, money and possessions. You'll find that in sharing of your time, energy, money and possessions with those less fortunate you'll discover appreciation for the small things.



3. Seek to understand another person's point of views. This can open a whole new avenue to how you perceive yourself. Try to put yourself in their situation and try to empathize with them.



By now you're asking, but how will doing any of these things make you stop wishing? Well, here's how it works. When you become grateful, or find yourself sharing and seeking to understand, you'll notice your wish list gets shorter because you get out of yourself and do for others.



It's magical.



Give it a try, you'll see a big change because your thoughts are very powerful and play a major role in what you say and do. All of your actions first begin as thoughts; your thoughts then materialize into action. While you're practicing any of these points, your wishes will come true in the form least expected.



Someday you'll be sitting peacefully contemplating the wonderful gifts in your life and you'll feel a sense of satisfaction with yourself and a sense of completeness.



Enjoy your life :)



~Writinghood

Self Esteem and Your Physical Appearance

If you're an individual who struggles with self-esteem issues in regards to your physical appearance, you are not alone. Following are just a few simple ways you may build your self-esteem every day steps (in a few simple steps).



Boost your self-esteem by caring about your physical appearance:



1. Bathing: Some people may think that bathing is not an essential part of self-esteem and that just putting on clean clothes will do the trick. Not so, because you are either wearing clothes that breaths (lets out odors) or you're wearing clothes that hold your sweat in (retains moisture) making matters worse. Bathing on a regular basis is a must to building your self-esteem, besides, isn't it a great feeling to wash off all those dead skin cells to allow the new ones to grow in a healthy manner?



2. Clothing: You don't have to be a fashion buff nor wear expensive clothing to boost your self-esteem, it's all in the way you care for your clothing. Care for your clothing reveals the value you place on yourself. Plan ahead and do your laundry on a regular basis. You can even boost your self-esteem in those unpredictable emergencies by having an extra pair of socks, any type of undergarments, and an extra change of clothing stashed away for emergency use.



3. Sleep: If you have a tendency to neglect your required beauty sleep, beware; because one day you'll wake up, look in the mirror and SURPRISE! Those dark circles have appeared out of nowhere. Yes, we joke about getting our beauty sleep, but it's a fact that getting enough restful night's sleep can do wonders for your appearance. Don't attempt to read those articles, newspapers, or do homework in bed, you'll either have nightmares or those news stories will cause restless sleep. Instead use a peaceful positive affirmation as you close your eyes to sleep.



So does personal care have anything to do with your self-esteem? It certainly does!



If you're one of those individuals who struggles with low self-esteem, you may raise your self-esteem level via your physical appearance level by leaps and bounds.



Notice individuals with healthy self-esteem and you'll see them practicing these simple every day steps.



Here's to your positive potential :)



Writinghood

Overcoming the Victim Mentality

Many people suffer from low self esteem.  The surprising discovery that many psychologists are now making is that this low self esteem is often accompanied by another characteristic which is equally debilitating for the victims of this kind of thinking.  In addition to low self-esteem, people who suffer from this problem also carry with them a defense mechanism deep inside themselves that is used as a way of trying to combat what they see as their character defects. It should be the case that we simply love ourselves the way we are but this is often not enough for many people who simply want to think more highly of themselves at every turn. 



Rather than feel like you are less than others, people who suffer from low self esteem typically revel in the idea that they are a "victim" of the world.  They feel that they have somehow been cheated and they become angry and point their finger at others in order to feel better.  The use of positive self affirmations is often misused as a way of asserting ourselves against an imaginary enemy that no longer exists and merely strengthens the illusion that there is something out there that is trying to hurt us. This is not the way that self affirmations were meant to be used.



There is a victim mentality in many of us who suffer from low self esteem which tends to keep us feeling sorry for ourselves and provides a secret "enjoyment" for us within our psyche.  This is done, seemingly, so that we can still love ourselves but it doesn't really help us in the long term because it merely keeps the old cycle going wherein we view ourselves as a victim and continue to feel like a "loser". 



We only remain similar to the way they have always been and the self affirmations have no effect.  In order to make a real change and to utilize the true power of self affirmation, many modern day techniques now encourage people with low self esteem to also look more closely at the manner in which they see themselves as a "victim" in the world.  This victim psychology must also be let go of if the more positive self affirmations are to truly raise a persons self esteem.



As human beings, we love to see ourselves in a positive light as a person who is good or special or helpful to the world.  Although it should be enough for us to simply view ourselves as exactly what we are, we insist on seeing ourselves as somehow "better" than what we are and to engineer elaborate ideas in our minds which will make us appear like something more. 



What's wrong with who we are?  Who told us we were bad in the first place?  Rather than believing we are bad and working very hard to "increase" our self esteem, the more useful strategy is simply to become comfortable with exactly what IS and to sit still in our chairs and observe who we are at any given moment.  This is actually the logic and the meaning behind disciplined meditation.



Although positive affirmations are useful for getting us away from the destructive behavior we may have fallen into, they are not the end-all solution to raising our self esteem.  Part and parcel to a positive self affirmation is the hidden assumption that there is something wrong with us to begin with which, in itself, is part of the problem and something that we must observe directly if it will ever be let go of. 



We must practice observing the way our minds work in terms of our victim-like thinking and then we will truly be free of this low self-esteem problem.  How many times a day do we catch ourselves thinking that someone has done us wrong?  Do we feel that our boss or our parents or "the government" has somehow cheated us of the things we deserve?  Why have we not done anything to make our own lives better rather than blaming our problems on someone else and becoming a "victim" in our own minds?



Overcoming this victim mentality is central to improving self esteem and can oftentimes be a long road to recovery. It may require joining groups, reading books and meditating everyday. Over the course of time, we begin to see ourselves as perfectly acceptable just the way we are. 



We no longer need to "fight" against others to win our self esteem.  We feel confident that we or OK and we have found a new way to live.  Next time we feel the need for a positive self affirmation, we may try this; "I am completely comfortable just as I am and can sit here completely still in perfect contentment as I watch my thoughts and emotions gently float by."



For more information on this topic please check this out



You are not alone,



Sincerely,



Writinghood

Meditation: Chopra Center Radio with Davidji

Dear Reader (copied and pasted message to share with my readers)



We live our lives in activity. We have between 60,000 and 80,000 thoughts a day. That's about 1.2 thoughts every second. They're coming . . . you will not stop them . . . so don't even try. In the second show of our Meditation Series, davidji will dispel the belief that meaningful meditation is thought-free.



Join us for another hour of meditation inspiration, including tips and practices to make peace with thoughts and improve your meditation experience.



Register to listen to this free show here





Namasté,



The Chopra Center Staff



Forwarded by Writinghood

Just 2 Ways to Appear Younger

Do you ever feel like the average Joe or plain Jane who muddles through life observing or fantasizing about what it would be like to look younger than your age?



In our day and age there's no shortage in the anti-aging department and the gamut includes creams, unspeakable surgeries, tummy tucks, laser treatments, injections, chemical peels and implants, to name a few.



But there's a price to pay for such luxuries, and not everyone with the desire to look younger has the monetary means to achieve such a coveted goal.



Well, you're about to be given two ways with no shipping and handling charges, no credit card debt, no hidden fees, no side effects, no down time, no allergic reactions, no swelling and no burning sensation. You get the picture. Talk about risk-free! They are…



(1) Slow down



Physiologically speaking, your body ages a lot faster when you're in a hurry than when you slow down and pace yourself. Here's what happens: when you're in a hurry your brain sends "hurry, hurry" signals to your body to increase the production of cortisol. Cortisol is a natural hormone that triggers the body's fight or flight response. When cortisol is produced in excess, the body can't dispose of it fast enough and its extended stay in the blood stream feeds free radicals which overpower healthy blood cells. Healthy blood cells carry life-giving oxygen throughout your circulatory system. So say good-bye to the fight or flight response by slowing down and making time to breathe and appear younger.



(2) Love yourself



If you don't know how to love yourself, this is a good time to learn. Love yourself by appreciating your physical being: hands, feet, arms, legs, head, hair, liver, stomach, bladder, heart, rib cage, torso, etc. Love yourself by eating healthy, bathing, grooming, exercising, walking, meditating, and reading uplifting materials. Love yourself by appreciating your capabilities such as reading, writing, thinking, expressing yourself, singing, dancing, painting or drawing. Yes, love yourself to appear younger.



Again, there's no shortage on anti-aging solutions that cost a pretty penny, so if you're a little tight in the finance department or would rather go all natural, you're encouraged to just slow down and love yourself!



With love,



~Writinghood

Practice Patience with Yourself

Every person on the self-improvement path faces challenges that others may notice before he or she does. Hmmm...



For example: The young woman was really trying to practice her new mode of communication - to let the other person finish what they were saying without interrupting.



OMG! But do you know how hard that is to do when you already know what the other person is going to say?!



Worse yet... Not only did the young woman finish the sentence but she already had an answer, YIKES! The speaker noticed, but did the young woman?



Seriously, your impatience can break down communication. So what could you do?



(1) Be conscious of your actions as you listen to the person speaking.

(2) Let them finish their own sentence.

(3) Wait your turn.



How hard is that?



Eeek! Very hard. So just practice, practice, practice patience with yourself. You'll get better.



Abso-tootly,



Writinghood



Practice of Patience & Learn to Forgive Your Self

Noteworthy Announcement on Meditation

Wow! I'm really excited to share this email sent to me (I've just replaced my name with the word 'Visitor" to share it with you). I personally learned my meditation practice through the Chopra Center in 2003 and I highly recommend this excellent meditation resource.



Check it out for yourself. You'll be glad you did.



CHOPRA CENTER RADIO WITH DAVIDJI

Balance, Heal, and Transform through Meditation

Wednesday, February 9 @ 3-4 PM (PST)



Dear Visitor,



We're pleased to announce that on February 9 the Chopra Center will launch a new radio show - Live from the Chopra Center - broadcast in partnership with Hay House, a world-renowned publisher of books, audios, and radio shows for personal and global transformation.



Join us for our premiere show hosted by the Chopra Center's lead educator davidji as he explores the power of meditation to balance our lives, heal our body and mind, and transform our lives. As a long-time practitioner and certified Primordial Sound Meditation instructor who has taught thousands of people how to meditate, davidji will dispel the myth that meditation is difficult or requires years of mastery to receive its benefits. As davidji says, you can begin to experience the gifts of meditation with your very first experience.



During the show davidji will lead you in a guided meditation and answer your questions about developing a practice, choosing the meditation technique that's right for you, why meditation is so beneficial, and more!



Whether you're a beginning meditator, have an established practice or you're simply curious about meditation, this show will inspire you and give you practical guidance on how you can use this timeless practice to improve every aspect of your life.



Register to listen to this free show here



Namasté,



The Chopra Center Staff

Chopra Center Radio



Sincerely shared with you by Writinghood