Michael Kindt's Blog, page 91
October 28, 2015
politicalprof:
Science!
Whenever I am reading the news...
Science!
Whenever I am reading the news (which is pretty rare these days) and a sentence begins “A recent study revealed….” I immediately stop reading because it’s bullshit. You can get a study to reveal whatever you want, it all depends on how you go about it. I learned this from global warming (renamed ‘climate change’ because it seems the globe has pretty much stopped warming). In today’s world, the word “study” actually means “agenda”.
“A recent agenda revealed…”
October 27, 2015
4 Ways to *actually* use crystals.1. Hold them up and note how...
4 Ways to *actually* use crystals.
1. Hold them up and note how they alter light in cool ways.
2. Put them near a lamp or window and ooh and ahh over how they bend and twist that light, especially after getting baked on weed.
3. Use them strategically as decorative pieces in your living room or bedroom.
4. Order a pizza and turn on Cartoon Network.
October 26, 2015
My neighbors are:
The friendly young Catholic family, the grouchy old couple who are mean to their dog, and the people who always get drunk around their fire pit.
The only ones I really know are the friendly young Catholic family. His name is Manny and then there’s Mrs. Manny, and then the two little Mannys. Delightful folks. Devoutly Catholic, complete with all the idolatry–statues, charms, medallions, the whole she-bang. Me and Manny help dig each other’s cars out of the snow every winter. We wave at each other the rest of the year.
One time I helped the grouchy old couple get back their dog. We have this mailwoman in our neighborhood who could not give less of a shit about her job. She’s always on her phone while she’s delivering. She puts everybody’s mail in the wrong boxes. This dipshit makes, like, $20 an hour, too–to wander around doing, at best, a half-assed job, talking to her boyfriend, probably. And she leaves everybody’s gates open.
The grouchy old couple let their dog out into their yard one day, not realizing this half-assed poster girl of socialism had left their gate open and their dog got loose. I noticed and went after it. In my mind, I was “rescuing” it, but I was probably ruining its attempt at the good life because all these disagreeable old people do is yell and cuss at it.
Looking back on it, I should’ve let it go. “Fly free, little bird!”
The fire pit people I don’t know at all. They just moved in this Spring. I don’t know how they are made up or coupled or tripled. There’s always five or six of them over there, sitting around the fire pit. Maybe they’re a tribe of room mates. I admire them, though, because open fires are not allowed in the city limits and they have one going five evenings a week, at least. Fuck yeah, to that.
I wonder what my neighbors think of me, if they do at all? “The weird guy with the beard who treats his dogs like children and pisses off his porch when he thinks we ain’t looking.”?
Hey, I’m trying to conserve water. Save the planet!
If this ain’t a metaphor for modern society, I don’t know what...
If this ain’t a metaphor for modern society, I don’t know what is.
I often sit and wonder about Gordon Ramsay.Like, has he ever...
I often sit and wonder about Gordon Ramsay.
Like, has he ever burned anything? Not when he was starting out in cheffery, but recently? “Shit, I burned the grilled cheese!” Mrs. Ramsay looks on, disappointment in her eyes.
No blowjob for you tonight, Gordy.
What is his blood pressure? I mean, Jesus, Gordon. Get a grip.
Are any of his “reality” shows even remotely real? They all look so transparently staged it’s not even funny. Well, maybe it’s funny. Maybe it’s fucking hilarious because people think they’re real.
Boxers or briefs? He seems like a briefs guy. He’s so tightly wound, I couldn’t imagine him wearing anything loose. I bet they’re Speedos, two sizes too small. I’d be on edge all the time, too.
Have we had enough of him and his dozens of shows? Don’t get me wrong. I like the guy and occasionally enjoy watching him as I sit there, before a flickering screen, waiting to finally fucking die, but he’s always on, always fixing things, saving things, holding “competitions”, everything swirling around food, like bloody spittle preparing to go down the drain of a dirty sink.
What kind of a society creates such a phenomenon as Gordon Ramsay?
And how do I get out of it?
October 25, 2015
Making krautschupfnudeln for supper. Be jealous.
Don’t try to pronounce it. You will sprain your tongue.
I’m even making the spaetzle homemade. Spaetzle are dumpling noodles.
I have become obsessed with making spaetzle, perfecting it, thinking about it, drawing diagrams, buying special equipment to help me in my endeavors.
My spaetzle are pretty damn good. Better than yours, I’d wager.
The ingredients for krautschupfnudeln are spaetzle, bacon, cheese, and sauerkraut.
And people say there is no God. Bwahahaha!
“I think people should have to be licensed before driving a car.”
”I think people should have to take a thorough test and register their vehicles.”
“Common sense car control!”
