Michael Kindt's Blog, page 93
October 20, 2015
My life hasn't been the same since Lady Di was killed in that awful car crash.
Me either, man. My only solace has been alcohol and scratch tickets.
Canada has produced a new prime minister, Justin Harper. But the last Justin it produced was Bieber. Do you think they'll get it right with this one?
Well, Justin is a really stupid name….hard to get it right, ever… but!
He’s liberal and I find it fascinating that liberals are surging in Canadia while here in America they’re waning…
October 19, 2015
Will my boyfriend stay faithful to me while he's away in Michigan?
No. Let me qualify that. If he’s ugly, then…probably.
Men and women are only as faithful as their options.
I'm so sick of porn. Jesus.
It’s all the fucking same. I mean EXACTLY the same. He spanks her, does her in every position but missionary. God forbid, they fuck in the missionary position! It’s never in a bed. It’s always a couch, a floor, a toilet, a table. He rams her a hundred miles an hour. Her plastic ball boobs shimmy artificially. She screams like her hair’s on fire. They never show her feet and he has to make himself blow by jerking it.
Blah. Do something different, for fuck’s sake.
^ An old post….
But like a dozen porn blogs just followed me. WTF? I write about Ozzy and porn blogs come out of the woodwork? Tumblr, you’re not doing it right.
Community College
It’s 13th grade, where they make up for all the shit you didn’t learn 9-12, that is if you’re paying attention. There are cute boys and girls, though. And parties!
Who gives a fuck what the capital of Tanzania is!
Critical thinking? Proper paragraph structure?
Dude, it’s fucking FREE.
I never talk about my finances on here, but...
How ridiculous are stocks that don’t pay dividends? I mean, if I’m gonna risk my money on your shit, gimme a little something.
Tech stocks are notoriously non-dividend payers. “I’m a boy genius! My stock will go up and up and up!”
Only recently, after Jobs, did Apple finally start paying dividends.
The idea of just owning a stock that doesn’t give me anything, just owning it and waiting for it to become more valuable actually makes my skin crawl. I can’t even fathom it. It bugs me, philosophically.
Corporate profits in this country are among highest in the world. Look, I’ll buy your stock, but my hand is out.
Cough it up, Porky.
30 Things You Should Know Before Moving To Norway - MeganStarr.com
Hmm, interesting. I thought it was a socialist paradise.
Beautiful country, though…
October 18, 2015
Once upon a time there was a mortician and one evening a body arrived at his funeral home.
The body was set to be cremated and as per usual with cremation cases, the mortician examined the body to make sure there were no prosthetics or metal jewelry, etc. Occasionally, a family might request something being cremated along with the loved one’s remains, a wedding ring, say, but the mortician would only do this upon request.
Removing the sheet, the mortician noted that the deceased man’s limbs were natural and that he wore no jewelry. He also noted the man’s penis, which was vast. Never before had the mortician seen such a vast penis, and he had been in the business for years.
It was truly a remarkable sight.
Feeling that such a penis should be preserved and not incinerated, the mortician did something unethical. He got out his tools and carefully removed it. He weighed it, amazed by its 3 pounds and 4 ounces. He then placed the penis in a jar, a very big jar, and preserved it with some embalming fluid. He then took it home, where he decided to show his wife.
“Oh, my God!” she screamed, as he sat the very big jar containing the very big penis on the kitchen counter. “Eric’s dead!”
She fell to her knees, sobbing.
