Michael Kindt's Blog, page 88
November 12, 2015
"Oh no, the cheese went bad!"
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things you will absolutely never hear
Also: “Whoops! The bacon’s rotten.”
But then there’s cauliflower. People are like “Cauliflower? When did I buy cauliflower? Yuck, it’s all slimy!”
The cost of living hasn’t gone up! In fact, it has maybe...
The cost of living hasn’t gone up!
In fact, it has maybe even gone down!
We are in a deflationary period created by artificially low interest rates compounded by the oversupply and extremely low price of oil!
But whatever, it’s scary!
No, it didn’t actually take any money from Social Security!
It transferred $150 billion to the disability wing of Social Security!
It’s a procedure that has been done at least 11 times, going both ways!
Sometimes money is transferred out of the Social Security disability accounts and into the retirement trust!
It’s all still Social Security money!
But whatever, it’s scary!
Congress gives itself a raise all the time and you still vote for them!
Your fault!
Also, Congressional raises do not take effect until after an election!
There’s still time!
Go vote, you whiny little pussy!
While you were busy being angry with “the media” for distracting you with red cups, someone created this meme and distracted you from actually thinking.
Memes ARE media, you nitwit!
Why think when bumperstickers can do it for you!
November 10, 2015
Jack Nicholson receiving shock treatment in the second greatest...
Jack Nicholson receiving shock treatment in the second greatest movie ever made, One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest.
Now called “electroconvulsive therapy (ECT)” after the great American tradition of applying more syllables to something horrible to make it sound scientific (then using parenthetical initials to render it completely soulless) shock treatment is still given to an estimated 1 million people worldwide every year. All systematic published reviews of the literature have concluded that shock treatment is effective in dealing with depression, probably because life always seems better after they stop electrocuting your brain.
The best part about the whole Starbucks thing in my opinion, is that my grandmother lost her hearing aids Sunday night and she's been watching the "news" and she thinks Starbucks has put out a press release claiming to hate Xmas.
Haha. They do, ya know. They fucking HATE Christmas! They are an evil, soulless corporation and they hate Christmas! AHHHHH!
In America, we are so blessed and so privileged that we spend our time getting pissed off about cups.
And then we are flabbergasted when immigrants want to come here. The fact that there are people in other countries at all is amazing.
Come to America where the crisis a fucking cup!
How fucking bored ARE people?
You often hear the word “privilege” thrown around, especially here on Tumblr, land of bullshit.
But if what really is upsetting you is a CUP, my God, people. Really, I am speechless. I am without speech.
